


peter's stars

by IronPengu, parkrstark



Series: constant as the stars above [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Artist Steve Rogers, Asthma, Child Protective Services, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Codependency, Common Cold, Derogatory Language, Domestic, Drinking, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Fainting, Financial Issues, Fluff and Angst, Gen, He's four, Homelessness, Hospitalization, Kid Peter Parker, M/M, Mentions of Prostitution, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Protective Steve Rogers, Separation Anxiety, Sickfic, Slow Burn, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Superfamily, Temper Tantrums, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, he's a cutie, steve is peter's biological father
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2020-01-31 17:50:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 175,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18596380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronPengu/pseuds/IronPengu, https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkrstark/pseuds/parkrstark
Summary: Steve and Peter lose their apartment and are kicked out on the streets. Steve has to juggle between jobs to earn whatever money he can, take care of his son while resfusing to let him realize how much they're trouble in, and keep them warm and safe on the city streets in winter.So, he really doesn't have time to date the billionaire that flirts with him everyday as he buys his cup of coffee. Even if he did, he can't let himself fall for the man. Because if he knew that he lived from a backpack and showered in a public bathroom there's no way he'd still want him...right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by a song called Lela's Stars by Walker Hayes. It became something so much more than what I originally planned and I'm excited to share it all with you. 
> 
> Big thanks to IronPengu for helping me plan this out. She's a co-author because she helped me plan a lot in this for maximum pain and also maximum soft. Hopefully, you enjoy what we've come up with. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I've never experienced homeslessness, but I'm doing as much research as I need while I write this. There still may be inaccuracies or things changed just for the sake of fiction. 
> 
> In this, it's an AU obviously. Peter is Steve's biological son and his mom isn't mentioned/impoprtant to the story. However you wish to imagine her, you're fine to do so. She's just not in it and there will be no related angst to the mother.

“Please, sir,” Steve said, not ashamed he was close to getting on his knees and begging. “I’ll have the money by Friday. That’s when my paycheck comes in.” 

“I’ve given you long enough. Your rent has been overdue for weeks.” His landlord didn’t move from behind his desk. He didn’t look any bit apologetic to be kicking Steve out of his apartment. He’d come back from picking his son up from school and saw that there was an eviction notice taped to the door and the locks were changed. 

“I had the money, but my son had to got to the hospital with an asthma attack. I had to use all the money money set aside for rent for his medical bills instead.”

“I don’t want to hear your sob story.” 

Steve sighed, clenching his jaw. He took a moment to calm himself before answering. This man didn’t want to hear his ‘sob story’ becuase he hadn’t been there the night Peter’s lungs decided they didn’t want to work. He didn’t see his lips turning blue or hear his pained wheezes as he struggled to breathe. He didn’t know what it was like to almost lose his child. “Fine. Can I at least go up and get my stuff?” 

“Not yours anymore.” 

Steve shook his head. He didn’t have much, but everything he did have was in that apartment.  _ Everything.  _ “Please just let us up one last time. We’ll be done within the hour.” He knew if he got a lawyer he could fight this, but if he had the money and time for all of that, he wouldn’t be getting kicked out of this dump in the first place. 

“Or you can leave now.” 

Steve wrung the baseball cap he was squeezing in his hands. “Sir, please. At least let me up to get my son’s stuffed animal. It’s his favorite. He’s only 4 and he won’t understand why he can’t have it back.”

Shrugging his shoulders, the man said, “Then his daddy should do a better job at taking care of him.”

Steve really couldn’t argue that. He didn’t have a good job that paid enough to support him and his son. What kind of father struggled just to put a plate of pasta in front of his child? “I know. I know. Just-- please. His inhaler is in his room too and he needs that-- I don’t have another. Please.” 

Either the man did have a heart and didn’t want a child to die without his inhaler or he realized Steve was stubborn enough to stay here and argue all day. “Fine,” he snapped. “You’ve got a half hour. Whatever you can carry down in one go, you can keep.”

Steve sighed in relief. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, tossing the new set of keys on the desk. “Your clock is ticking. Go.” 

Steve nodded his head as he grabbed the keys and hurried out of the office. He grabbed Peter’s hand from where he was sitting on the ground just outside the door. “Come on, buddy.” 

Peter ran next to him, doing his best to keep up with Steve’s big strides. When they got to the stairs, Steve leaned down and scooped him up in his arms. Peter laughed and grabbed onto his shirt. “What’re we doing, Papa? Why’re you running?”

Peter didn’t know how screwed they were. He didn’t know they didn’t have a buck to their names. Even if he did, he wouldn’t understand what being broke meant. And Steve didn’t want him to worry about a thing. “We’re playing a game.” 

Peter kicked his feet excitedly with a giggle. Despite the situation they were in, Steve couldn’t help but smile at that sound. “Okay!” Steve was grateful that even through all of this shit, Peter could still be a kid. 

He ran them to their apartment and stuck the new key into the lock. He dropped Peter to his feet carefully, looking around the apartment. It wasn’t much, but it was home. It was where he brought Peter home, where Peter first talked and learned to crawl and then walk. It was where he grew up. And now they were losing it. 

And there was no way he could carry everything, but he was going to get everything he could. 

He turned to Peter and said, “Alright, next part of the game. Go to your room and pack up a backpack full of your favorite toys, okay?”

Peter frowned, tilting his head. “Why?” 

“We have to leave here. And...what we leave behind, we’re not gonna get back. So make sure you take what you want. I’m going to pack our food and clothes. You worry about your toys.” Steve could see Peter getting upset, so he tried to calm him down. “We’re okay. We’re just going on an adventure.” 

“But...but I like home.” 

Steve didn’t have time to argue this and he tried to remain as patient as he could. “I know, Pete, but we’re going to find a better place. I promise you. Right after our adventure.”

“A fun adventure?”

Steve smiled smally. “I hope.” 

That seemed to get Peter to run to his room and get to work. While Peter worried about his toys, Steve hurried to take care of the stuff they needed to survive. He went to their closet and pulled out two suitcases and a backpack. 

The first thing he went to get was the box in his room. It was a wooden box made by Peter in school last year. It was a bright blue and in red paint he wrote:  _ I love you Papa!  _ Steve used it to keep valuables safe. He had a small wad of bills tucked in there for an emergency and his mother’s rosary beads. He wanted to keep the box but wasn’t sure if he’d have room for it. He hated the idea of leaving something like that that Peter had made for him here. He brought it to the living room anyway. 

Along with that, he grabbed a few pieces of his clothing to stuff in the suitcase: jeans, long sleeved shirts and a few t-shirts. He hurried into Peter’s room to go check in on him and get some clothes of his. 

When he stepped inside, he saw that Peter was just zipping up his backpack. He looked around and saw what little toys he had still thrown around the room. It broke Steve’s heart that they were going to have to leave all of it behind. No kid should have to pick which toys he had to leave behind forever. 

“Did you pack it up full of toys, Pete?” He asked, trying to keep a smile on his face for his sake. 

“All done,” Peter said, hugging his backpack close to his chest. 

“Alright, Pete, I won’t take it away from you. Don’t worry.” Steve went to his dresser and started pulling out sweatshirts and heavy pants for him. It was almost December and the weather was getting cold outside. “Pete, do me a favor and pull on another layer of clothes.”

Peter frowned. “But, Papa, I’m already dressed.”

“I know. But more. I want you to stay warm. So sweatpants over those jeans, long shirt over your t-shirt, and then a sweatshirt over that one. Double and triple up on socks too please.” 

Peter gave him a weird look and didn't immediately go to get dressed. 

“Peter, get dressed. Now,” Steve said, using his father voice to get Peter to listen. They were almost out of time. Peter didn’t argue and started to pull through the clothes Steve had left behind. “Once you’ve got as many layers as you can, come out to the living room.” 

Steve dropped the pile of clothes he had on Peter’s into the awaiting suitcase. He tucked the box in there too and zipped it up. In the other suitcase, he started to fill it with food that would stay. They didn’t have much of that, but it was enough to keep them fed for a few days at least. He threw in some water bottles too. Then he ran to the bathroom and gathered soap, deodorant, toothpaste and their brushes and other hygienic things they’d need. 

When he only had the one backpack left to fill, he wanted to be selfish. He wanted to go into his room and grab his art books, his pencils, his pastels...he wanted to grab it all and fill his backpack like Peter stuffed his with toys. But he couldn’t. 

Instead, he grabbed Peter’s inhaler, the folder of important documents like birth certificates they’d need, a blanket, and some winter hats and gloves. He did grab a photo album of pictures he’d collected through the year since Peter was born even though that wasn’t a necessity. But Steve wanted it anyway. 

Once it was all packed up, Steve let out a loud breath and looked around the living room. There was still so much left he wanted to bring. He wanted to bring it all. But he couldn’t. So he refused to look around and see what he’d leave behind. He had Peter. Peter was all he needed. 

“Peter!” He called as he walked into his own room to grab extra layers of sweatshirts. “You done?”

“Coming, Papa!” He heard him say from his room before he heard his feet pattering across the hallway floor. Steve finished pulling on the three sweatshirts he could manage and went to the hallway where he saw Peter waddling towards the living room. Steve couldn’t help but laugh. “You really took me seriously when I said to put as many clothes on as you could, huh?” 

Peter turned around and smiled up at him. “I did good?”

Steve kneeled in front of him and helped him zip up his winter coat he pulled over all of his other sweatshirts. “You did perfect, buddy. You ready to go?” 

“Wait!” Peter shouted, his eyes widening. “I gotta get Ellie!” He ran back into his room and came back out a minute later, hugging his stuffed elephant to his chest. 

Steve smiled softly and ruffled his hair. “You have everything you want? We can’t come back.”

Peter nodded his head without a second of hesitation. “Yup. Got it all in my packpack.”

The mispronunciation of how Peter said backpack just made Steve even more aware of how young his baby was and how he should never be going through this. All because Steve couldn’t be the father Peter needed. 

“We gotta go now,” he said in a low voice. Peter smiled, unknowing to the hell they were about to go through. Steve grabbed his hand and led him to the living room. 

He gasped at the sight of the of all the bags. “We really are going on an adventure!”

“We sure are, bear. We’ve each got a backpack and suitcase. Can you pull the big blue one?” That was the one that weighed less, so hopefully Peter would be able to pull it. If not, Steve could grab both. 

Peter was happy to run over and lift the suitcase up and start pulling it. With a little effort and several grunts, he was able to tug it behind him. 

Steve went by his side, pulling the backpack on his back and then the suitcase. He looked down at Peter and pointedly refused to look anywhere in the apartment at the stuff left behind. He focused on Peter. “Ready, little man?” 

Peter smiled up at him and Steve thought that as long as he had that adorably happy face looking back up at him, everything would be okay. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I've never experienced homelessness, so all of this is taken from google searches and blogs from those that have been.  
> There will be not so realistic story telling in some parts just because it's fiction and I can write it how I'd like for some more drama into the fic.

Steve couldn’t let himself get too upset over the situation. Panicking did nothing to help them; it would only upset Peter. He needed to be brave for him. So after they were in the car, an old rundown thing, he took a deep breath and tried to clear his mind.

Peter was buckled up in the back and their backpacks and suitcases were on the seat next to him. He was happily kicking his feet and looking out the window in excitement.

Steve pulled out his wallet to see how much he had and wasn’t surprised to only see a crumpled fifty dollar bill. That wouldn’t get them far, but it had to get them somewhere. His gas tank was full, thankfully.

He pulled out a piece of paper he had in the compartment on his door and a pen from the cupholder. Before doing anything, he had to do the math on everything. He wrote down the $50 and then the $500 he had in the emergency stash. This was definitely an emergency. Then his paycheck that usually gave him a few hundred each week, depending on the hours.

Then he had to start subtracting money. Like food for them both and his phone. He could get a cheaper plan for now; there had to be a few companies that offered plans less than $15. The phone was necessary in case work called or when Peter was at school.

They could sleep in the car, if needed. Find somewhere safe to park and doze off for a few hours. It’s keep them warm and safe during the cold nights. Especially now that there was a cold chill in the air.

But was this a long term plan? Steve didn’t want Peter to be raised from a car. He was a child. He needed a stable shelter over his head. He needed a home. As his father, Steve needed to provide it for him. It wasn’t Peter’s fault that his father was a good for nothing loser that spent too much time chasing a dream that would never come true. He had no say in any of this.

So, Steve had to get his act together and find another job that would support them better than the job he had now-- stocking the freezers in a nearby grocery store. He’d have to find odd jobs wherever he could. He’d bust his ass, he didn't care. Peter deserved it.

He turned around in his seat to glance back at Peter and mustered up a smile just for him. “Hey, buddy, you doing okay? I’m sorry for rushing you out of there.”

“It’s okay!” He replied. “Was it apart of the adventure? Is that why we had to hurry?”

“Sure was, kiddo. You already passed the first task.” Steve was grateful for his son being so trusting. He had no reason not to believe Steve; he was his father and he was young enough to still have nothing but blind faith in him. In Peter’s mind, as long as his dad was there and he said it was okay, it really was all okay.

Peter gasped in excitement. “Really?”

“Sure did.”

“Is that what you’re writing?” Peter started leaning forward as far as the straps on his carseat would allow him to.  

Steve looked down at this paper where he had their fate scribbled and written in desperation-- numbers that just didn’t add up as comfortably as Steve would have liked them too. Still, he told Peter, “Yup. Writing down all our quests.”

Peter started bouncing in his seat. “I wanna make an adventure map too! Can I?”

Steve nodded his head with a small sigh. “Yeah, buddy. We’ll head to the library and you can make a map for us.”

“It’ll be a great map,” Peter assured him in a voice as serious as a four-year-old could be. “I’m gonna make sure we find the very best home.”

“I believe you,” Steve said, starting the car. “Well, we better get going then.”

Peter giggled as they drove off and he started telling Steve all about the fun things knights did on adventures. Steve smiled, praying that Peter stayed this innocent the entire time.

* * *

 

When they got to the library, Steve parked the car and went to the back to pull Peter out. He unbuckled his seat belt, lifting him up in his arms. Steve hesitated before leaning inside the car and shoving the suitcases to the floor. He felt nervous leaving their car unattended, even if it was in the middle of a public place. What if someone saw their bags and wanted to take what was inside? What if someone just chose their car to steal? Then they lost everything.

But Steve couldn’t be that paranoid. So he shut the door, locked the car, double checked that it was locked before he started walking into the library.

All he needed was a computer and access to the internet for a few hours. He needed to make a list and figure this mess out. That was the smartest thing to do. And while he was doing that, Peter could distract himself with his map.

Steve grabbed a few pieces of paper from the reference desk and then continued carrying Peter to the back until he saw a few tables with unoccupied computers. There were only a few other people in there at the time, but Steve still took the one furthest away from everyone.

He pulled a chair over to the one already at the computer and sat Peter down on it. He placed a piece of paper and a pencil in front of him and ruffled his hair. “You have fun, kiddo.”

Peter laughed, quietly because he knew he was in a library, and started to write on the paper. He held the pencil awkwardly and it took him a long time to write the letters in his messy handwriting, but Steve was proud nonetheless. His kid was only four and could already read and write. He put all the other kids in his preschool class to shame, in Steve’s opinion. Steve wasn’t sure where he got his genius level brains from. Definitely not him.

While Peter was distracted, Steve started his own research. He peeked around them, even though he knew no one could see his computer screen. Still, his face burned with shame as he typed into Google: _what do I do if I’m homeless._

He went through the results, reading blog posts from people that had experienced homelessness themselves. Most of it were tips on where to find shelter. Steve started writing all of that down. He had a car, which was good, but he needed backup plans just for worst case scenarios. The posts mentioned finding 24 hour gym and recreation centers that they could use for shelter and shower usage. Peter was always full of energy; he’d love spending his days in somewhere like that.

Nearby places ranged from $20-$50 a month, depending on what was included.

Motels were an option, maybe...but at almost $90 a night, Steve didn’t see how they could swing it. And the $50 no-tell-motels were not somewhere he felt comfortable being, let alone dragging his four-year-old son to.

Break rooms of the workplace were recommended and to stay late and just wake up before everyone else came in. As well as warehouses: they were huge and had many places to stay overnight in.

He wrote down a lot of helpful tips and if it were just him squatting around New York City, he could get by. He could go a few days without food and shelter, but he wasn’t alone.

He looked down at Peter, who was still making his map, unaware to what Steve was stressing about. To him, the most stressful thing was remembering what direction all the letters faced in.

But that was how it was supposed to be. He was a baby. He was Steve’s baby. And Steve was going to do whatever he had to to keep him safe.

So he went back to Google and changed his search: _What to do if I’m homeless with a child?_

These were much more devastating to read because Peter wasn't the only one. There were thousands of kids just like him without a home to go to. Families were out there, doing their best trying to keep their families together.

Steve was lucky he only had one child to worry about. But still, that was one too many to be on the streets.

These blogs gave more tips on finding good shelter and food because as long as Peter had a shelter of some kind then he was being taken care of and he couldn’t be taken away. Steve couldn’t let Peter get taken from him. He refused to let that happen.

Peter was his son. No one was taking his son away.

So the option that told him to give his child to a trusted family or friend for the time being, even if he had someone like that, was a definite no.

Shelters always seemed to be the least recommended option of shelter. Steve took note of that. He wasn’t going somewhere that wasn’t safe for Peter. Peter was his number one priority in any situation-- being homeless didn’t change that.

Steve shivered at the thought. _Homeless._ Steve never thought that would be a word he’d use to describe himself, no matter how tough times got. He thought he’d always at least have a roof over their heads and food on the table.

Not anymore. Not until he found a cheaper place to live and earned enough to get them in there. It would only be a few weeks at most...once he got that paycheck and could go someplace then they’d be fine...Steve hoped.

He opened a new tab and started looking for new jobs around the area that could be hiring. Anything. There several openings he could apply to and hopefully land something. When Peter was at school, he could go around looking for places hiring. After his shift at the job he had already, of course.

Steve dropped his head in his hands and sighed heavily. He wanted to just sleep and wake up when all of this was solved, but that wasn’t possible. Peter could rely on someone else fixing the problems, but Steve couldn’t. Steve was the one that had to fix the problems.

Before his mind could stress himself out any more, he felt a poke at his arm. He lifted his head from his hands to glance over at Peter. He was kneeling on the chair, looking at Steve with a frown. “You okay, Papa?”

“Yeah, kiddo. I’m okay.”

“You don’t look okay.” Peter titled his head.

Steve put that smile back on his face and ruffled Peter’s hair. “I’m just tired.”

“Oh. Well...we can always start our adventure tomorrow. We can go home and take a nap maybe.”

Steve felt like he was punched right in the heart when Peter said that. Peter didn’t understand, but how could he? He was a toddler; he didn’t understand the adult world and what it meant to be evicted. “Pete...we can’t go home,” he said.

“We can’t? You mean forever…?” His little hand reached out and grabbed Steve’s wrist. Steve held his hand to try and calm him down.

“Yeah.” Steve felt the lump in his throat grow and said, “Forever.”

Peter’s hand tightened in his hold and Steve could see his mind trying to figure out what Steve was telling him. He was smart and he liked to understand everything the world threw at him, but this wasn’t like the puzzles he loved solving. “I don’t un’erstand, Papa…” he said, furrowing his brow. “Why can’t we go home?”

“Because…” Steve trailed off, trying to think of what the hell to say. “Because the adventure, remember? It’s cheating if we go back home.”

Peter’s eyes started to well up with tears and Steve cursed under his breath. Peter was a great kid, but he was still four-years-old and when something happened that scared him or he didn’t understand, he couldn’t control his emotions. “But...that’s our home. What about all of our stuff?”

Steve looked away and willed the tears not to fall from his eyes. Once he was sure he wouldn’t cry, he looked back to Peter and said, “That’s why we had to pack up what we could.”

Peter shook his head, his tears falling down his cheeks even though he wasn’t making any sounds of crying yet. His voice was only thick with tears. “But what about my friends? I told Harry to come over after school one day for a playdate.”

Steve wiped his hand over his face to get rid of the tears that were falling down his cheeks now. He cleared his throat and said, “Well, after we find the perfect house, then you can tell Harry to come there, okay?” The apartment they just lost was no place to have his friends over anyway. Maybe one day they’d have a home worthy of inviting people too.

Maybe one day they’d have a home.

“Okay,” Peter said, sniffling.

Steve pulled Peter into his lap and hugged him tightly. “I’m sorry, bear.”

Peter wrapped his tiny arms around Steve’s chest as wide as he could. “S’okay.”

Steve pressed his lips to the top of Peter’s head. “You okay?”

“Yeah...guess so...I’m just gonna miss home.”

 _Yeah, kid, me too._ “I know, but you’ll be having so much fun on our adventure you’ll forget all about that dumb ol’ place,” Steve tried to make his voice sound as dismissive as possible.

“Like in a castle?” Peter asked, sitting up straighter, not sounding two seconds from sobbing anymore.

“If that’s what you want, then I’ll build you a castle,” Steve said, meaning every word.

Peter giggled. “You’re the King and I’m the Knight! On an adventure!”

“You’ve got that right, bud,” Steve said. “And speaking of, do you have our adventure planned out already?”

Peter nodded his head, quickly leaning over to grab the paper. Steve had to keep a tight hold on him so he didn’t go falling forwards. When he had the paper in his hand, he leaned back closer to Steve and held it up to him. Steve smiled at his handwriting as Peter started explaining what he had. “See, so there are steps to solve the mission!”

“Oh yeah?” Steve asked, pulling Peter closer.

“Yeah. We have to do what all of the heroes on quests do! Fight bad guys, explore someplace weird, hide in a fort, fight a monster, discover something new, make friends, fall in love, and then we can find our home!” He read off proudly.

Steve hummed at his imagination. “This is a lot. You think we can handle it?”

Peter turned around in his hold to stare up at him. “Of course we can.”

“I don’t know...this seems like an awful lot,” Steve said, pretending to be worried.

Peter patted his cheek and assured him, “Don’t worry. As a team we can do it. But...you gotta do the falling in love one on your own. That’s gross. Yuck.” Peter stuck out his tongue.

Steve laughed and someone shushed him from a few tables over, but he ignored them. “Oh yeah? Well, I don’t think I’ll be doing any of that. I’ve got all the love I need right here.” He lifted Peter up so he could press a big kiss on his cheek.

Peter laughed and kicked his feet, wrapping his arms around Steve’s neck. “Love you, Papa Bear.”

“I love you too, Baby Bear. Are you ready to start our adventure, then?” He said, turning back to his computer to shut it down. He didn’t want to stare at that monitor any longer than necessary. All it did was remind him of the horrors that were soon to come. He just wanted to hold his baby forever in this moment so he didn’t have to worry about the fact that all they had to their names was an old car, 4 bags, and a handful of cash.

“I’m gonna be the best adventurer you’ve ever seen!” Peter grabbed the paper again and folded it carefully before sticking it in his pocket.

“I bet you will be,” Steve said, grabbing his own papers and standing up. “But, why don’t we get a good night’s rest and then figure all of this out?”

“Where are we gonna sleep if we can’t go home, Papa?” Peter asked leaning his head against Steve’s shoulder.

Steve swallowed thickly, rubbing a hand through his hair. “We’re gonna camp out in the car...how does that sound?” Steve couldn’t expect it to be met with cheers, but he hoped Peter wouldn’t get too upset at the idea.

Surprisingly, Peter picked his head up and greeted Steve with a wide grin. “Really?” He asked in disbelief like Steve just promised him a trip to Disney World.

“Yeah...really.”

“This is the coolest adventure ever,” he said, leaning his back down.

“Yeah, kid,” Steve said softly as he started to walk them out. “I hope it is.”

* * *

“I think here’s a good spot, Papa,” Peter said once Steve finally pulled onto a street with nothing but abandoned warehouses.

Steve looked around and didn’t see anything that looked like it would be a bad spot to park for the night. He pulled between two buildings and shut the car off. The lights from headlights shut off, leaving them to darkness. Peter let out a little whine and Steve could hear him struggling in his carseat. Shit. The dark.

“Alright, buddy,” Steve said in a soft voice. “I know. It’s dark. I’ll be right there. Hold on.” Steve unbuckled his seatbelt and climbed between the front seats to get in the back. He flinched as he smacked his head against the roof, one of the thumbtacks keeping the felt pinned up.

“Papa,” he said, his voice squeaking out.

Steve reached a hand to put on Peter’s leg as he finished crossing between the seats. “I’m right here. Your Pops is gonna get you in a sec right after he gets back there. I’m way too big for this.”

The second he felt the hand on his leg, Peter grabbed Steve’s hand. “I don’t like the dark,” he whispered.

Steve hushed him gently. “I know, sweetie. I know.” He undid the buckles on his carseat and pulled him into his arms. Peter practically leaped into his arms. Steve laughed, rubbing his back. “Hey, buddy. You okay?”

Peter nodded his head. “Yeah. I’m brave.”

“You sure are, kiddo,” Steve said in a soft voice as he laid down, trying to get a better position. There was barely any room for them with the carseat, but he really didn’t have the patience to take out the whole thing right. “But brave boys need their rest, so why don’t we get some sleep, huh?” He leaned down to open up the backpack on the floor and pulled out the blanket he packed. He wished he had thought of grabbing a pillow when he left that apartment. At least Peter didn’t have a problem, as he cuddled up against Steve’s chest.

“We have to make a wish before we sleep,” Peter said after he settled, sticking a thumb in his mouth.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. On the stars.” He pulled his thumb out with a pop to use his little finger to point up at the roof.

“Stars?” Steve asked, furrowing his brow in confusion. They could barely see any stars in the city, even if it was warm enough to go outside.

“Yeah. All the stars on your car top. Yellow and blue and red and green.”

It took only a moment for Steve to put it together. “The stars…” He meant the thumbtacks Steve carelessly stuck in there a few months back.

“Yeah! I make a wish on them everyday before you drop me off at school. There are so many con’sations.”

Steve chuckled. “Consations? What’s that, kiddo?”

Peter grunted, not liking the fact that his pops was laughing at him. “Pictures in the stars! Ellie is up there too! It’s a picture of an effy.”

Steve couldn’t help but smile at that. _An effy._ Peter, for some reason, had thought that an elephant was an effy and Steve didn’t have the heart to tell his otherwise. One day he would learn. But that wasn’t today. Today he was still a kid that sucked his thumb when he was tired, got scared when it was dark unless his pops was right there and didn’t know the pronunciation of an elephant. Steve wanted it to stay that way as long as possible. “You see constellations up there, buddy?”

“Uh huh.”

“You wanna show me them tomorrow before school? I’d love to see what you see.”

“Sure, Papa! You wanna still wish now?” He asked, starting to suck his thumb with one hand and using the other to lay on Steve’s chest in a loose hug.

“Of course, I do.”

“Close your eyes!” Peter said, patting his chest lightly.

Steve did so with a smile. “They’re closed, bud.”

“Okay, on the count of three we’ll both make our wish...1, 2, 3!”

Steve pressed a kiss to the top of Peter’s head and wished harder than he ever had in his entire life.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the positive feedback! I really didn't expect this fic to get so much interest, but a lot of you love it! Your reviews and messages on Instagram are the reason I'm even more excited to pump out these updates.

The next morning Steve woke up with the worst crick in his neck he’d ever had. That combined with the chill in his bones, it was impossible for Steve to pretend like he was waking up in an apartment with four walls, a ceiling, and heating. 

The only heating he had in this car was the tiny bundle curled against his chest. 

Just to get the chance to lay there and hold Peter safe in his arms was enough for Steve to put up with the cramp in his neck and the pain in his leg caused by the way it was bent to fit. 

But the sun was already up, birds were chirping and when Steve checked his phone, he saw that they didn’t have much time before Peter had to get to school and Steve needed to clock in to work. He couldn’t be late; he needed to keep this job. A job meant gas in the tank and food in their bellies. 

Even though it was the last thing he wanted to do, Steve gently shook Peter’s shoulder to rouse him from his sleep. Peter only groaned and tried to bury himself deeper into Steve’s chest. Steve shook him again. “C’mon, buddy. Rise and shine.”

“Papa, m’sleepy,” he mumbled. 

Steve started to rub his back soothingly to try and get him to wake up more. “I’m sure you are, but we gotta start our day.” Peter didn’t move from his spot. Steve knew he wasn’t gonna get him up without a little incentive. “C’mon, we gotta start our adventure and I think you’ll like the first thing I've got planned.”

Peter picked up his head up, rubbing the sleep from his big brown eyes. Steve smiled. “Where we startin’?”

“I think there’s a donut with your name on it if you get your butt up now.”

Peter’s eyes widened. “Donut for breakfast? Really?”

“Yup. But only if you hurry up,” Steve said and then Peter hurried off his chest and jumped right into his car seat-- which was a feat itself because Peter despised having to be buckled in there. Steve sat up, rubbing his neck and rolling it slowly to try and get the kink out of it.  He knew he was going to have to spend his day bent over a freezer, loading it up and his back would only hate him more so he didn’t bother too much. He leaned forward and pulled one of the backpacks up on his lap; it was the one with all of their hygiene products. He took out their toothbrushes, toothpaste, and Peter’s brush.

“C’mon here, Scissorhands, let’s take care of your bedhead.” Steve scooted over on the seat to run the brush through his knotted curls. “You sure you don’t want a haircut?” Steve asked when he finally brushed his hair enough that the brush went through it easily. 

Peter covered his hair with his little hands as he shook his head. “No! I like my curls!”

Steve grinned, putting the brush back into the bag. “So do I.”

“All done? Donuts now?” Peter asked, bouncing in his seat excitedly. 

Steve leaned forward and buckled him before opening the back door. “Donut time, kiddo.”

* * *

 

Before walking into the small cafe that wasn’t too far from either Peter’s school or the grocery store that Steve worked at (he couldn’t afford to waste gas driving all around the city), Steve counted through a few singles. He gave themselves no more than $5 to use for breakfast. 

Then he went to the back and unbuckled Peter. He immediately jumped out of the car onto the sidewalk and started dragging Steve to the storefront with a coffee cup painted on the window. The glass paint was cracked and chipped; it definitely needed a touch up. Steve didn’t need to be an artist to see that. 

When they walked through the door, Peter started hopping up and down by the glass case of pastries. He pressed his face against it, giggling. “Look at how yummy it looks!”

The woman behind the counter looked down at Peter and her upper lip quirked up at him. “Smells even better.” And it really did. But Peter was getting a donut, not Steve. He walked up to Peter and ruffled his hair. “What looks good, bud?”

“That one!” Peter said, jabbing his finger against the glass. 

Steve followed where his finger was pointing and when he saw the one Peter was pointing to, he chuckled. He should have known. He looked back to the woman behind the counter and asked, “May we have the one covered in fruity pebbles?” 

“Of course,” the woman, her name tag read Natasha, said. “Anything else?”

“No tha--,” Steve started to say just as Peter looked up and said, “Appa juice!” 

Natasha didn’t move, staring at Steve, waiting for Steve to make the final decision. Steve squeezed the few singles in his pocket. It wasn’t like he could refuse to get his kid a drink. “Yeah. An apple juice too, please.” 

Natasha nodded her head and typed on her cashier before saying, “That’ll be $3.50.” 

Steve nodded his head and pulled out four crumpled bills. She took them and stuck them into the drawer. He held his hand out when she dropped the change in his hands. He pocketed it like it was gold. 

Then she went to get Peter’s breakfast and Peter stared up at Steve with a frown. “What about you?” 

Steve gave him a smile. “I’m gonna eat at work. Don’t worry about it.”

One of the best things about Peter being so young was that he believed every word that came out of his father’s mouth and that was enough. He didn’t ask any more questions. He smiled up at him, happy again. 

Natasha came back over with a small brown bag and a plastic cup filled with apple juice. She handed it to Steve, who then handed it to Peter. Before he could run off with it, he said, “What do you say?”

Peter turned back up to Natasha with a wide smile. “Oh, right! Thank you!”

The woman smiled back. “You’re very welcome.” 

Looking up at Steve, Peter asked, “Can I sit and eat?” 

Steve checked his watch and then nodded his head. “Yeah...but hurry. Can’t be late.” 

Peter nodded his head and ran over to a table against the wall in the corner. He put his food on the table and then took a few seconds attempting to pull himself up on the chair. Steve chuckled and lifted Peter under his arms and sat him down on the chair. “Thanks, Papa!” 

Steve ruffled Peter’s hair and then took a seat across from him. “No problem, bud.” 

Peter didn’t hesitate before stuffing the donut in his mouth. Despite his tiny body, he could really stuff his mouth until his cheeks made him look like a chipmunk. “Mmm,” Peter moaned, closing his eyes. 

Steve leaned forward, watching him eat and drink happily. Steve wished he could keep him this happy forever. 

“Hey, Pete…” Steve said quietly, keeping his voice down so Natasha at the counter couldn’t hear him. 

“Yeah, Papa?” 

“I know you’re excited about our adventure, but you gotta keep it a secret, okay?” 

Peter tilted his head, licking the glaze off his fingers. “What?”

“A big part of our adventure is that it has to be a secret. No one can know we’re looking for a new home,” Steve said, hoping he would understand. He really didn’t need to be called down to the preschool because Peter told a kid in his class he was living in his car. “I know you’ve got the best imagination and you love telling your stories, but this one has to stay between us.”

Peter frowned. “I can’t even tell Harry?”

Steve leaned forward even more, his eyes widening. Good thing he had this talk with Peter or else he would have ran his lips to everyone in that school and CPS would be calling Steve by noon. 

That scared him more than anything else about being homeless: losing Peter. 

“No,” he said hastily. “You can’t tell a soul. Please, Peter. No one.”

“Do we lose if I tell someone?” Peter asked in a low voice.

Steve nodded his head. “Yes. We’re gonna lose and then we’ll never find our dream home.”

Peter immediately slapped a hand over his mouth. He spoke even though it was obviously muffled, “I won’t tell anyone.”

Steve had to be sure. “You promise?”

Peter stuck out his hand, extending his pinky. Steve smiled and linked his pinky with his. “Alright. Good...now finish your breakfast and we’ll get going.”

Peter did so happily, making sure to eat every piece of cereal that fell off of his donut. “Thank you for breakfast, Papa!”

Even though his mind was yelling at him to start saving the money they had, Steve didn’t think feeding his boy was a waste. If it took $3.50 every morning to keep that smile on Peter’s face then he would budget it in as a necessity. 

* * *

Spending all day stocking freezers and fridges with food was enough to drive Steve crazy. It was the same mundane task of pushing a cart and transferring the food from the cart to the freezer. It was work anyone could do; there was no skill required at all. He didn’t even need to be literate for this job.

Maybe that was why he had this job...because he wasn’t good enough for anything else. All he could do was walk through a grocery store and earn less than $15 an hour. Work and work until it was time to pick Peter up from school at 3. 

Usually, Steve was excited to pick Peter up from school and hear about his day, but now he never wanted to go pick him up. When he was in the school, he had a roof over his head and he had heat. When Steve picked him up, he had nothing but the car. 

And Steve had worry; he had to hope and pray that Peter kept his mouth shut. He didn’t get the phone call, so he figured he was okay. Eventually, when he went to pick Peter up, he found out that Peter actually listened. 

Peter came running out of the school with a smile on his face. He did this every day and Steve never got tired of it. He ran right into Steve’s legs, not bothering to slow down before crashing into his shins. 

Steve leaned down to lifted him up, tossing him into the air and catching him. Peter squealed in excitement. “How was school, Giggles?”

“So much fun! And guess what?”

“What?” Steve asked as he waved to Peter’s teacher, letting her know he had Peter before walking out of the courtyard and towards their car. 

“My teacher gave me a brand new notebook!” He announced, waving the marble notebook he was holding.

Steve frowned as he stopped outside their car door. “I didn’t know you needed a notebook.” Steve didn’t want Peter’s teacher thinking that Steve didn’t have the money to buy his kid a notebook. 

“I didn’t think of the idea until before naptime! Ms. Hill read us a story. It was about a talking dinosaur.” He stopped to giggle as Steve opened the backdoor and started buckling him up. “Harry loved the dinosaur.”

“I’m sure he did, kiddo,” Steve said before patting Peter on the leg and shutting the backdoor and hurrying into the front seat. The minute he was sitting down, Peter started telling his story again. He was going into detail about the book when Steve looked at him in the rearview mirror and interrupted him as he paused to take a breath of air. “Hey, bud, not that I don’t love hearing about this book, but what does it have to do with the notebook?”

“Oh, right! I got dis..distracted,” Peter said, taking his time to pronounce the word correctly. 

Steve laughed as he started driving. He wasn’t surprised. Peter’s brain made some conversations with him like talking to a goldfish. Everything was exciting to Peter enough to completely set his mind off track. “That’s a-okay, Pete.” 

“I wanted to write a story too! Like the dinosaur! And my teacher gave me a notebook to fill up.” He hugged the notebook to his chest. 

“What’re you going to write about?” Steve asked, expecting to hear some variation of a space story. That was Peter’s favorite game to make-believe: he was an astronaut exploring the stars or a new planet. 

“It’s gonna be about our adventure!” 

Steve’s eyes widened as he glanced back at him again. “Pete, I thought I said that was a secret?”

Peter rolled his eyes dramatically. “That’s why I’m gonna change it up. You’re the King and I’m the Knight! We’re on a journey to find our castle!”

Steve relaxed; if he shared that book with anyone, they’d easily believe it was just his imagination. “In that case, you should be the prince.” 

“No! I’m Knight Peter. I’m gonna have the coolest armor and a big sword to protect us with,” he exclaimed proudly. 

“You’re gonna protect us, huh?”

“Yup. Knight Peter will keep King Papa safe!” 

Steve couldn’t help but laugh again. “You’re real original with those names, buddy.”

“What? Those are our names-- oh, Papa! Can I borrow your special pens for when I write?”

His special pens. The ones that Steve kept with his art supplies. The ones he left behind. 

His hands tightened on the steering wheel as he said, “Peter, I didn’t bring my art stuff, but I’ve got a pen up here you can use.”

“No, your pens are here! In the packpack,” Peter said, squirming in his seat as he tried to reach for the backpacks they kept on the ground. 

“Pete, no messing around back there and no, they’re not. I filled my backpack with soaps we’d need. No room for art stuff on the adventure.” 

“Papa, they’re here! I got them in my packpack!”

Steve was glad no one was behind him because his foot hit the brake and he whirled around to face Peter. The buckles around his chest kept him from going too far forward at the quick stop. “Peter, what do you mean you have them in your backpack?” Steve asked as his heart pounded in his ears. His backpack was full of his toys; Steve saw him go to his room and fill it up. Well, not exactly fill it up. But Steve told him to get his favorite toys...no toddler would leave their toys in exchange for colored pencils and markers. 

Instead of answering his question, Peter started grunting as he leaned forward against the buckles to try and reach the backpack. 

“Okay, okay, hold on,”Steve said before turning his eyes back to the road. He needed to pull to the side where they weren’t stopped in the middle of the road. He couldn’t drive anyway with his hands shaking like they were. 

He pulled into the first available spot and then turned around to give Peter his full attention. He leaned forward and grabbed the backpack that Peter was in charge of packing. Peter grinned when Steve pulled it up to his lap. “Look in my packpack!”

Steve looked at Peter one more time before slowly turning to the backpack. He hesitated only a second before unzipping it for the first time since Peter packed. And inside...inside, there wasn’t one toy. It was whatever little art supplies Steve had stashed in the apartment. His sketchbooks, his pencils, his markers, his bag of miscellaneous tools...it was all in there. 

When he looked back up at Peter with wide eyes, his vision was blurry from tears, but he could still see Peter smiling at him. “See! Told you!”

Steve blinked his eyes rapidly to clear the tears. He had to clear his throat before he was able to speak in a voice he didn’t think would break. “What’re all my art things doing in your bag, Pete?”

“I knew you were gettin’ all the other stuff, but you didn’t get your toys...so I got them for you!” He slumped his shoulders and said, “Sorry I couldn’t get all your books. I got the two with all the drawings and then an empty one for you. Didn’t want you to lose all your drawings!” 

Steve’s hands were still shaking as he pulled out one of the thick black books. He flipped it open and skimmed through the pages, looking at all of the drawings and sketches he thought he’d lost for good. He stopped at a page where he just filled with Peter’s face in all of his different emotions: laughing, crying, giving those damn puppy eyes, grinning...dozens of them. 

He looked back up to see that face in real life. He was staring back at Steve, looking nervous. “Are...are you mad ‘cus I left some?” He asked before quickly saying, “I tried to grab the best ones! I know there were some little--.”

Steve shoved the book back into his backpack and was out of the car in a flash. He ran around the car and threw open the backdoor. Peter was still babbling his apologies, but Steve couldn’t get out a word to assure him it was okay. All he could do was rush to unbuckle his car seat straps and fumble until they were off Peter and he could pull him from the carseat. 

“Papa, I’m sorry! I’m sorry--.”

Steve pulled him to his chest, cupping the back of his head to keep him close. “Shh,” he was finally able to say, though his voice was thick with tears. “I’m not mad. It’s okay.”

Peter didn’t push back, letting Steve keep him close as he squeezed him. Steve stood there in the middle of a busy NYC sidewalk, rocking Peter until he got control over his tears enough to speak. 

“Pete, you were supposed to pack your toys...why did you put my stuff in there?” He asked, letting Peter pull back and look up at him. 

“I just want you to be happy too,” he said softly, wiping the tears from Steve’s cheeks with his chubby fingers. 

Steve smiled, lifting Peter closer to his face so he could press his forehead against Peter’s. “As long as I have you, baby bear, I couldn’t be happier.”

 

That night as they were laying in the backseat and Peter was sleeping soundly with Elliot tucked close in his arms, Steve laid awake. He couldn’t understand or believe what Peter had done. Well, of course, Steve could understand giving up something of his so Peter could have what would make him happy. But he was the father; he was supposed to give up anything for his child. Peter was exactly that: the child. 

He shouldn’t have been the one to leave his things behind. Even if Steve was thankful he had the drawings he thought he lost, he felt bad for being thankful. Because Peter had left his toys. He was four-years-old, not old enough to understand what the hell was going on. 

Steve hoped he didn’t.. He hoped it was only a few weeks at most that it took him to save up money and find a new place. 

Until then, they’d have to survive. 

Of course they would. Steve refused to let Peter’s story end any other way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you adore Nat as much as we do, then don't worry! She's going to be coming back a lot in this fic. 
> 
> And of course Peter had to get his Papa's art stuff. He's just that precious. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Let me know what you thought below!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy fathers day from our favorite papa and his baby bear :,) 
> 
> Some time skip in here bc while I'd love to go in day after day and develop that slow burn we still haven't even meant Tony yet....and I know you're all excited for him. He's coming soon. Promise.

For a few days, it went well. Almost _too_ well. They came up with a routine and that made it much easier to get through the cold days: breakfast at the Fury’s Cafe, run Peter to school and then to the grocery store, work for a few hours and then rush to pick Peter back up and drive around looking for more jobs. 

He found one that didn’t pay very well, but it was extra money. After his shift at the grocery store, he was a dishwasher at a diner. Unfortunately, working more also meant that Steve had to start leaving Peter at after school daycare. It wasn’t too much money to have him stay in a classroom with a group of other kids that couldn’t be picked up until their parents were home.

He rarely got time to just spend with Peter, but money was starting to build up in his bank account and he told himself that once this was over with and Steve had enough money, he would spend everyday with Peter. 

He hated working at this new job though. He hated washing his own dishes-- well when he _had_ dishes to wash he did-- but, now he had to wash dozens of strangers’ dishes. He had to see them carried in, some still full with food and he had to scrap it all into the garbage and wash them. There was so much wasted food that would keep Peter's belly full for days.

The pay was lousy, but it was enough to keep Peter fed and that’s all he needed. He was allowed to have a meal every now and then and he always felt guilty as he ate because any and all food he got should go to Peter. But Peter got snacks in the after school program. He had lunch at school. He was always fed. Steve wasn't always so lucky, but that was okay.

The worst part of working in the kitchen was definitely the people. Nobody was happy to be here and the only person that even tried to laugh or have fun was a dick known as Strucker. His jokes just consisted of crude and bigoted humor. Only a few people ever laughed at his jokes, but no one ever told him to stop. Most of them just ignored him as he ran back and forth from the tables to the kitchen. 

Steve was great at just filtering him out and ignoring all of his comments. Usually. But one night when they were getting ready to bring out some trash, he stopped the garbage boy. He grabbed the kid by his arm and said, “Hold up, boy.” He snatched the black bag from his hand and scoffed. “Oh, this is a problem.” 

Despite Strucker having no authority over the younger kid, he still faltered at the possible scolding. He stuttered out an apology, “I’m s-sorry. Did I do something wrong? I’m just supposed to bring out the garbage.” 

“I told you that the leftover food goes to the bottom of the bag,” Strucker said, grabbing the black bag from him. 

Another reason Steve hated this place: they threw out all the food they had left at the end of the night. When Steve had first started working here, he gave them the idea of donating the food to a shelter or sending someone to hand out extra meals they had. It wasn’t much, but people on the streets wouldn’t complain. 

“You’ve got to make sure the food isn’t edible when you put it out there. The fucking vultures will be digging through our garbage all night looking for food.” 

Steve clenched his jaw shut so he didn’t say anything stupid.  _ Shut up, Steve. Shut up.  _

“I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know what you mean--.”

Strucker groaned. “The pathetic scumbags that go digging for dinner in dumpsters. It’s disgusting.” 

Steve turned his head to watch as Strucker poured a pan of grease into the garbage bag, ruining any edible food that might have been in there. He really tried to keep his mouth shut, but he couldn’t. “Why are you always such a dick?”

Strucker froze and then lifted his head to stare at Steve. “Excuse me?”

Steve narrowed his eyes; he wasn’t afraid of this prick. “You heard me. I don’t understand how ensuring that people on the street starving is something to be proud of.” 

“They want our food? Come in here and order it.” 

“They can’t afford to, you ignorant fuck,” Steve said, turning away from the sink to address Strucker directly. 

“Well, that’s not my problem. I’m just trying to get them away from our diner. It’s disgusting having to see them. They’re dirty and they smell.” Strucker wrinkled his nose. 

“They’re going to come looking for food either way. If we had a specific time after closing where we could give them our extras, then they wouldn’t have to search through--.”

“Shut up, Oprah. No one asked you. Go back to washing the dishes and let me handle pest control.” 

Steve crossed his arms over his chest. “They’re human beings. They deserve to be treated like it.” 

Strucker picked the garbage bag up again and shoved it into the boy’s arms. “Throw this out now.” Then he turned to Steve and said as he stormed off, “If you care so much about all these dirty hobos, then go set up your own soup kitchen.” 

Steve would if he could. He really wished he could. Maybe one day he’d be able to, but for now he had to focus on feeding him and his son. And to do that, he needed to work. So he turned back around and finished his shift without saying another word. 

 

He clocked out when he was finally done and then drove to Peter’s school and picked him up from after school care. At first, he loved spending more time with his friends, but after he realized it was a constant thing, Peter loathed the aftercare. When they got into the car tonight, the first thing he asked was, “How much longer do I have to go here?”

Steve sighed. “I don’t know, Peter, but until I find a babysitter I trust and you like, you’re gonna have to go there.” Peter groaned and Steve frowned. “What’s wrong, bud? I thought you liked it there?”

“I don’t want a babysitter and I don’t wanna go there! I want to be with you, Papa!” Peter whined. 

Steve squeezed his eyes shut, wishing it wasn’t this hard just to make a living. “I miss you too, kiddo, but I need this job.”

“We’re supposed to have a ‘venture!” Peter kicked his feet, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“We are. And watch your attitude with me, Pete. I’m doing the best I can.” But by the way Peter was now glaring out of the car window, his best wasn’t good enough. He was failing at being a father to Peter in more ways than the kid could even understand. He sighed heavily. “Look, Peter, I know this isn’t how you want to spend your time, but...it’ll get better. The beginning is always rough. Right?”

Peter was quiet for a moment before he said his own apology. “I’m sorry too, Papa…I just miss you.” 

“Soon we won’t have to worry about any of this, Petey. Soon.” 

* * *

On Wednesdays, there was a restaurant down a few blocks that had a special where a kids meal came free with one adult entree. That was a good deal for them both to eat something other than gas station food. And Peter deserved a little fun of going out to eat at a restaurant.

They sat at a little booth in the corner and even though the waitress set a booster seat on the booth across from Steve, Peter still crawled up next to him. He pressed himself against his side when they were waiting and used one of his thighs as a booster seat when their food came. 

Peter got a plate of chicken fingers with a side of mac and cheese and Steve got a cheeseburger with fries. When Peter stole fries to nibble on, he didn’t complain. 

They didn’t speak too much during their meal; Peter was too busy munching away on his food and Steve was too exhausted to even open his mouth. Steve was more than okay though with Peter snuggled against his side, warm, safe, fed, and happy. 

Once they were done eating and their meal was paid for, Steve lifted Peter in one arm and the backpack he brought in with another. But instead of heading to the front exit, he went to the back where there was a door labeled with a restroom. “I don’t have to go potty,” Peter said, resting his head on Steve’s shoulder. 

“We’re gonna go just in case,” Steve said even though he didn’t bring them back there for the toilets. Steve could steal a few showers in the locker room at work, but he couldn’t bring Peter in there with him. His curls weren’t soft like they usually were and he was starting to smell like a puppy dog. Steve couldn’t send his son into school dirty. 

When he opened the door, he hoped it would be a single bathroom so he didn’t have to lock a room full of stalls. Thankfully, it was meant for one person at a time so Steve was able to shut the door and lock it. As long as they didn’t hog the room for too long, there would be no suspicion with a locked door. 

Once inside, Peter started to shake in his hold. “Wait, Papa, I do need to go.”

Steve laughed as he put him on the ground. “I thought so, bud.” He put the paper on the seat for him and held him up so he wouldn’t fall in while he did his business and then he had Peter wait patiently while he went. 

Peter was ready to leave right after they were finished washing their hands, but Steve stopped him. “Not yet, Pete.” 

“Do you gotta go ‘gain?” Peter asked, tilting his head. 

Steve shook his head, unzipping the backpack and pulling out the soap he had in there. He bent down and lifted Peter up to sit on the sink. “Can you get undressed for me?” 

Peter stared at him in confusion. “Why?”

“Because you’re stinky.” 

Peter’s brow furrowed as he shook his head. His greasy curls didn’t move. “I’m not! You are!” 

Steve sniffed the air by Peter and pretended to gag. “Ah! My nostrils are burning!” 

Peter shifted once or twice before lifting his arm and smelling his armpit. He looked back at Steve with a pout. “No stinky.”

“Peter,” Steve said, using his dad voice; there was no arguing with that. 

“Okay,” Peter relented with a dramatic groan. He started pulling off his layers until he was only in his boxers. “Now I’m cold,” he complained. 

“Stop whining. You’ll stay warmer.” 

Peter looked like he wanted to argue that logic, but he didn’t. Steve pulled some paper towels from the wall, wet them with hot water and began to wash down Peter’s body. Then he started the harder part of getting his hair wet. Peter couldn’t dunk his head under the water all the way, but he could get most of it. Steve helped him so he didn’t fall as he soaked his hair and then Steve lathered it in soap and then rinsed. 

It took much longer than Steve would have liked, but it was his first time and he was still trying to get used to it. Hopefully, it got easier as they went or maybe Steve could sneak Peter into the shower with him at the grocery store one day. 

“All done?” Peter asked, pushing his wet hair off his forehead so the water stopped dripping into his eyes. 

Steve nodded his head and handed him some more paper towels to try and dry off with. “All done, Pete. Did you even remember what soap and water felt like?” He teased and smiled when Peter giggled in response. God, he loved that sound. 

When Peter looked up at him with a smile, Steve couldn't help but smile back. "Hey, there's my little man. I haven't been able to find you underneath all that dirt."

"I wasn't dirty, Papa!" Peter said as Steve lifted him to the ground. He reached up his hand for Steve to take and he did.

"Oh, you sure were. Dirty and smelly." Steve wrinkled his face in mock disgust. "How does Elliot stand you at night?" 

"He loves me, Papa!" 

"He sure does if he's still your friend even when you don't shower."

Peter just laughed as they walked out back into the diner. Steve said goodnight to the people he saw working there and then headed back to their car. He buckled Peter in his seat, threw their backpack inside and then got into the driver's seat. 

Their ride back to the warehouse district wasn't too long. It was quiet as Peter just sucked his thumb and stared out the window. Steve could already see his eyes dropping. 

When he pulled into their secluded spot, he climbed into the backseat without bumping his head. He was getting better at that.

Peter was immediately pulling at his buckle, trying to pull himself out. "Papa, cuddle," he said as if Steve was just going to leave him in that seat all night. 

"Okay, I've got you, baby boy," he said, chuckling softly. He undid the restraints and then pulled him towards his chest. Peter also pushed his feet off the seat so he flew right into Steve's arms. "Excited, huh?" 

"Missed you," Peter mumbled around his thumb as he curled up against Steve's chest. 

"I know. I'm sorry, bud." 

Peter shrugged his shoulders. "S'okay."

Except, it really wasn't okay. Steve barely spent any time with Peter. He was always working. Peter deserved to have a father he could spend time with. Steve wanted so badly to give that to him. He wanted to see Peter more just as much as Peter wanted to see him. 

“I love you so much, Petey. Never forget that, okay?” 

Peter stared up at him like he had three heads. “Okay.” 

For now, Peter was young enough that he loved Steve endlessly. There was no limit to how much Peter loved him. Even when he couldn’t feed him enough and he was living from a car, he still loved Steve unconditionally. But one day he would be old enough to truly understand what a horrible life Steve was giving him and then he’d hate him. One day, Peter wouldn’t get excited to crawl into Steve’s arms and cuddle with him. 

But for now, Steve was going to hold Peter close and listen to his soft breathing slowly even out until he was asleep. 

Steve rubbed Peter’s back softly as he sang his lullaby, “Constant as the stars above, always know that you are loved. And my love shining in you will help you make your dreams come true, will help make your dreams come true.”

Peter hummed along softly as Steve continued to sing to him, “I’ll cradle you in my arms tonight. As sun embraces the moonlight, the clouds will carry us off tonight. Our dreams will run deep like the sea, our dreams will run deep like the sea.”

As Steve went back into the chorus, Peter was softly singing along. Although he drifted off not too long after, the few lyrics Peter did sing had a tear falling down the side of Steve’s face. He quickly wiped at it because there was no reason to be crying. 

He and Peter were together. That was all he needed. 

Steve looked to Peter’s stars above them and closed his eyes, making a wish.  _ Keep him safe. Keep him here. Keep him happy.  _

* * *

The wish did just what Steve wished it to do...and nothing else. Peter was still with him and he was still happy and he was still safe. But Steve’s luck only got worse.

One day, Steve woke up and when he turned the key in the ignition, nothing changed. The engine didn’t start. The car stayed silent. 

Steve tried twisting the key again, but nothing happened. 

“No, no, no,” Steve said under his breath, his heart now racing. The stars weren’t listening because the car stayed dead. “Fuck,” Steve muttered, smacking his hand against the steering wheel. 

“Papa…” Peter said hesitantly from the backseat. “Are you okay?”

Steve froze, remembering that Peter was watching. He took in a deep breath and exhaled before turning around to face Peter. “I’m okay, bud. Car is deciding to sleep in today, though.” 

Peter tilted his head. “Tell him to wake up. We gotta go get my donut!” 

Forget about the donut, they needed to get to school and work. “Petey,” Steve said, already unbuckling his seatbelt. “We’re gonna have to skip breakfast today.”

“What?” Peter whined. “But I like my donut.”

“We’re going to be late as it is, Peter. We don’t have time to stop and eat. You’ll get food during lunch, right? And they have snacks in aftercare?”

Peter just groaned. “I don’t wanna go there!”  

“Peter, we talked about this.” Steve refused to let Peter continue to complain about the aftercare. Neither of them wanted it and complaining only made things worse. 

Peter’s shoulders slumped, but he stopped arguing. “Okay…”

“Good boy.” Steve hurried out of his seat and ran to where Peter was. He unbuckled him and placed him on his hip. “We have to go.” 

“But Papa! I’m still in my pajamas!” 

Steve looked him over; pajamas for them were sweatpants and sweatshirt. It had to be out in the car at night. Maybe Steve running it just for the heater was why it was broken now. Who knew, but right now, Steve couldn’t worry about that. “You’re fine, Pete. No one will know you’re in your pjs.” 

Peter gasped. “I can go to school in my pajamas?”

“Yes.”

Grinning, he said, “Harry’s gonna be so jealous.”

“I’m sure he will be,” Steve said, only half paying attention. “Now we gotta complete the next part of the adventure.”

“What is it? What is it?” Peter asked, bouncing in Steve’s hold. 

“We need to get to school with no car. And we’re running out of time. Do you think we can make it?” Steve asked, locking the car and locking it again before he started to make his way back towards where they needed to go. 

“You’re super fast, Papa! You can do it!” 

“Let’s hope,” Steve said, jogging steadily down the empty street. He knew he wasn’t going to be on time for work,  but he might as well try to make it to Peter’s school on time. Peter didn’t need to be late too. 

“Run, Papa! Giddy up!”

Steve continued running but rolled his eyes. “I’m not your horse, Peter. Don’t tell me to ‘giddy up’.”

“Giddy up, pony!”

“You wanna walk, Pete?”

Peter laughed, clinging tighter to Steve. “Sorry.”

“Sure you are,” Steve huffed, not believing a word of it. Still, he kept Peter secure in his arms and ran as fast as he could down the city blocks towards his school. He didn't want to check the time and see the minutes passing because being late to work was not good.

By the time they got to Peter's school, there was a layer of sweat covering his body and his legs were killing him. 

"Super fast, papa!" Peter exclaimed as Steve wheezed. He could only nod his head and he set him on his feet and walked him to the front door. 

He knocked and waited for his teacher to come answer, ready to apologize for Peter's tardiness. The minute the door opened, he was already saying, "I'm so sorry Peter is late. The car broke down and we got here as fast as we could--." 

His teacher didn't look one bit upset. In fact, she looked concerned. "It's alright, Mr. Rogers. Sometimes things happen. Take a breath."

"I ran so he wasn't late." Steve pressed a hand against his chest trying to calm his lungs down. 

Peter looked up at him. "Papa...do you need my inhaler?" 

Steve shook his head, not wanting to worry Peter. "No, bud, I'm okay. I'm okay." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Positive. You go in and learn. Make that brain of yours even bigger." 

Peter hesitated only a moment before wrapping his arms around Steve's legs. "I'll see you after work!" 

Steve smiled down at him and ruffled his hair. His curls were softer than they'd been in days. "See you later, bear." 

"8 o'clock! Don't be late!" Peter said, shaking his finger at Steve.

"I'll do my best." 

That was good enough for Peter because he took off running behind his teacher into the classroom. 

Steve watched him go, ready to leave when the teacher stopped him. "Mr. Rogers, don't worry about getting him here on time. I know it's just you and now with the car...it's okay if he's a few minutes late."

Steve knew this wasn't pity. It was just understanding. But it felt like pity. He hated that feeling. "Thank you. I'll do my best to get him here regular time. I don't want to encourage tardiness with him or let him think anything has changed." 

She nodded her head. "Of course. Well, that goes for pick up too. If you're running late a few minutes, we won't charge you anything more." 

"Thank you. I appreciate that. Of course, I'll run to pick him up so hopefully we won't have to worry about that. We're apart for so long, he'll kill me if it's any longer."

His teacher laughed, but it was a sad laugh. She knew how long Peter was stuck in that school for. "If there's anything else we can help you with, don't hesitate to ask."

Steve almost bit his tongue, but for Peter, he'd ask. "We didn't get a chance to have breakfast this morning. If there's an extra snack you could give him, I would really appreciate it."

Her smile softened. "Of course."

"Okay. Thank you." Steve felt a little more relieved. "I'll see you in a few hours. I've gotta run to work." 

She nodded a goodbye and then he was off when the door was shut. He started running. He ran even faster than he did when he was holding Peter. Unfortunately, his boss was not as forgiving as Peter's preschool teacher and that showed when Steve showed up almost a half hour late and got chewed out. 

Steve stood there and took the scolding without complaint. He hadn't been late before, so he was let off with a warning. 

But that didn't ease any of Steve's worrying because his car was still broken. A broken car meant he'd have to wake up early tomorrow to get to Peter's school and then to work. 

And he didn't even know what was wrong with the car. He wasn't a mechanic and they sure as hell couldn't afford one. 

The next best thing he could do was call his insurance company and have them tow it to a nearby garage and have them check it out. So, he called and had it towed on his break. They said they'd call back later to let him know what the damage was. 

He worked all through his shift waiting for his phone to vibrate with the bad news. It didn't come until he was at his second job with his hands deep in a sink of hot water. 

He pulled out his hands and dried one of them on his apron before pulling his phone out and to his ear. "Hello?" 

"This is Jerry from the auto shop."

Steve walked away from the noiseines of the kitchen towards the back door. "You checked my car out?" 

"Sure did."

"Great, can you fix it?" 

Jerry sighed and it didn't sound good. "Sir, I'm gonna be honest. I don't think the repair is worth it. This car is...old." 

"I know, but it's all I have so it'll have to do," Steve said, already hearing his wallet cry. "How much? 100? 200?" 

Jerry laughed. "Like I said, the repairs would cost more than the car is worth. Probably a thousand, maybe two to get this back running and pass inspection."

Steve felt like someone sucker punched him in the chest. "Seriously? Can't I just fix what's necessary to drive?"

"It's a car. Everything broken is necessary to drive." He paused. "Honestly, you're better off getting rid of it."

"Getting rid of it? But I need a car…"

"Then sell this one for some scrap. We can get you something for it. And then save up for another one. Unless you're willing to put in the money now to fix it and then down the line as it continues to break down."

Steve ran a hand over his face, debating it in his head. He wished he had someone else in his life room discuss things like this with. He was in it all alone and it was exhausting. "You think I should?" 

"If I were you, I would."

"Can I stop by after 8? I have to pick my son up after work." 

"Sounds good. We can talk more then." 

He hung up and Steve spent the rest of the shift trying to decide what the hell he wanted to do. That car wasn't just their method of transportation but also where they slept. It kept them warm and safe at night. But they couldn't afford to have it just sitting somewhere in the city where they could sleep. The tickets that would collect would be ridiculous and the auto shop wouldn't tow a broken car back to where they found it. 

But Steve really didn't have the money to replace everything that needed to be fixed. He barely had money to put gas in the thing. 

So then maybe selling it would be good...he'd get the money from the car, and he wouldn't have to pay for gas or insurance. He'd save a lot more in the end. They lived in New York City anyway; no one really needed a car.

But then again, most people had a home to go back to. Maybe instead of spending so much money on gas, Steve could set it aside for a room in a cheap motel.

That would be better than the car. It would be warmer offer an actual bed and bathroom. It would be more of a stable environment for Peter.

Just until he could get them a real place to live. 

Peter deserved it. 

 

If Steve had any doubts about that, they all disappeared the moment Peter came running from his teacher to him when he picked him up that night. 

"Papa!" He screamed as he collided with his legs. "You're late!"

"I know, buddy. I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to start leaving earlier to get to you from now on." Steve bent down and lifted him into his arms. Ever since Steve started working these crazy hours, Peter was incredibly clingy whenever he was around Steve. 

"Why not drive?" Peter asked as Steve walked away from the school, waving goodbye to his teacher. 

"I wanted to talk to you about that, bud...we're gonna have to get rid of the car." Steve held his breath waiting for a reaction.

"Is this part of the 'venture?" Peter rested his head on Steve's shoulder and kicked his feet. 

"Sure is." 

"Okay!" Peter chirped happily and Steve wished he was that carefree about all of this.

Steve walked them to the auto shop and put Peter down to his feet while he went to talk to the man about getting his money for selling it. 

As he was handed the money and they finished business, Steve almost couldn't breathe. It was a few hundred but still so much. It would go fast if he didn't spend it right, but it was something to get them by. 

Peter didn't have a problem with anything until Steve asked him to help unload the car. "Petey, can you grab your bags for Pops?"

"What? They stay in." Peter started tugging on his shirt anxiously.

"We can't leave then here. We're getting rid of the car. Remember I told you that?" Steve was patient, careful not to trigger a tantrum. He hadn't seen one of those from Peter since this all started and he didn't want to start now. 

"But the car is ours!" He stomped his little foot. 

"Not anymore. I had to sell it for some money. We need money for our adventure. And the car ruins our fun. Adventurers don't have cars."

"But Papa!" Peter shrieked, running over and wrapped his arms around the door. "Ours!" 

"Petey, this old thing will just keep breaking down on us. We can't keep it."

"He's just tired! He needs sleep!"

Steve sighed. "No, baby. He's all done." He let Peter continue to hug the car while he pulled their bags out. He left Peter's carseat there, not giving it another glance. 

"Can you grab your backpack, bud? Pops can't hold it all." He already had the backpack on his back and the two suitcases in hand. 

Peter was wiping at his eyes furiously as he sniffled. "Papa, please! My stars!"

Steve froze. He completely forgot about those. "Shit," he cursed under his breath before turning back to Peter. "You want me to pull them down and bring them with us, bear?" 

"No! They're not stars if you pull them off! Our stars are there!" 

Steve kneeled down to take Peter by the hands. Peter looked at him and Steve wished he hadn't. He hated seeing those big brown eyes full of tears. "Baby, we can't keep the car or the stars. I'm sorry."

"Then where will I wish?" He asked, sniffling as more snot dripped down his face. 

Steve used his sleeve to clean the tears and snot off his face. "You can make a wish on the stars in the sky."

"I can't see those!"

"I'm sorry, Peter. I wish we could keep them. I really wish we didn't have to do any of this." He pulled Peter in for a hug and squeezed onto him tight. Peter clung right back. 

"I'm gonna miss my stars," he said in a low voice. 

"I know, bear...but one day I'll take you to see real stars. How does that sound?"

Peter pulled back from the hug, wiping his face as he perked up. "Real stars? Like with a tel'scope?" 

"Tel _ e _ scope. Yes." 

Peter nodded his head, still sounding sad. "Okay. Then we can go...I'll miss my stars though." He looked back at the car.

"I'll get you new stars for our home once our adventure is all over, how does that sound?" Steve brushed some of his hair off of his forehead. 

"I guess…"

"I'm sorry, Petey. I really am." 

Peter hugged him okay. "That's okay, Papa. I still love you." 

"I love you too, baby bear." Steve held him close and pressed a kiss to his head. "I always will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That lullaby is beautiful.  
> Stars are a theme in this story if you haven't caught on yet. And rapunzel Barbie...Steve is an artist....ahahhaha I think I'm clever


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. I am my works bitch

Steve had done a little research into motels that were close to both Peter's school and his work when he decided on selling the car. He only found one that was in their price range and was close enough not to be late every day. 

He checked into the reviews of course, but there weren't many. It wasn't a place that parents took their kids to while visiting NYC. It was a place unfaithful spouses took their new friends to so their partners never found out. 

But it was also the only place that Steve could afford that wasn't completely disgusting. Still, Steve kept Peter close to his side when they walked into the lobby. Especially when he saw a rat scurry across the floor in front of them. 

"Papa, they have a pet mouse!" Peter giggled as Steve pulled him along. 

It was too big to be a mouse and it definitely was not welcome there, but Steve indulged Peter. "They sure do, bud."

"He's so cute. I hope I see him again." 

Steve shivered at the thought of more of them running around. But a room here was better than sleeping on the street. 

So, Steve lead Peter to the front desk and asked for a room. The woman behind the desk looked him up and down and smirked. "Someone is getting very lucky tonight. I wanna keep you all to myself."

"No. It's not like that," Steve said as his cheeks flushed. "I need a room for my son and I."

The woman furrowed her brows. "This ain't Disneyland, honey." 

"I know-- please. We just need a place to stay for the next few days."  _ Hopefully days and not weeks.  _

"I mean...as long as you got the money, I ain't turning business away." She shrugged her shoulders and turned around to grab a key off the wall. "I'd keep an eye out for him though. Little young to be here."

"He'll be fine." Steve held his hand out for the key while the other had Peter in an iron grip. He wanted out of this lobby and into a room. 

She dropped the key into his hand and winked with a laugh. "When he falls asleep you know where to find me." 

The moment his hand was holding the key, he turned around and hightailed it out of there. The metal charm said 28 so Steve tugged Peter along until they were outside room 28. He slipped the key in, twisted it and then opened up the door. 

Pushing Peter inside, Steve said, "Come on, bud. Bed time." He took one look behind him before shutting the door and locking it shut.

The room smelt of stale cigarettes and other things he couldn't place, but his nose didn't like. He felt dirty just being in there. 

Peter, however, looked amazed at everything. "Wow! Look Papa! We have a bed again! And a TV!" He went running towards the bed, but Steve grabbed his hand before he could get farther than a step. 

"Don't move."

"But, Papa--." 

"Not yet." He let go of Peter's hand and went over to the bed end pulled off the comforter. He threw that to the ground because those things were hardly washed in nice hotels, let alone this sleazy motel. Then he checked the sheets for bed bugs and stains. Surprisingly, the sheets actually looked pretty clean. 

He turned back to Peter. "Okay, bud, bed is all clear." 

Instead of leaping into bed like Steve expected him to, Peter ran to the tiny television that was sitting on the dresser. "Look at the TV!"

"Very nice, Petey, but it's bedtime. You've got school tomorrow."

"Does this TV work?" Peter asked as if he hadn't heard a word Steve said. 

"I'm not sure, bud. We can check it out tomorrow. It's bedtime now."

"I wanna explore!" Peter yelled before he took off running towards the bathroom door. There wasn't much else to explore; the room was only big enough to fit a queen sized bed, a dresser with a TV on top, a fridge and a microwave and then the bathroom. 

"There's a shower in here, Papa!" Peter yelled as he stuck his head back out of the doorway. "Does that mean no more showers in the sink?" 

Steve felt like he could cry right there. "No more showers in the sink, baby."

Peter giggled and ran over to hop into bed, jumping around. "This is the coolest place ever!" 

Steve couldn't look at him when he said that. He really hated that his son thought this no tell motel was the coolest place ever just because there was a shower and a bed. "I'm glad you're having so much fun, bear. But it's time to brush your teeth and get in your pjs. We gotta be up early tomorrow." 

"For donuts?" 

"For school."

Peter pouted as he fell to his butt after a jump. "I want my donut."

"I'm sorry, Petey. I have to get everything settled with this place and see how it is getting to school and work on time. Then I'll think about the donut."

"Okay…" Peter said, his previous excitement all gone.

Steve turned to their bags and pulled out his toothbrush and toothpaste as well as a pair of sweats and t-shirt to change into. "Come on. Let's get ready for bed."

Peter brushed his teeth and got changed while Steve did the same thing besides him. By the time he was pulling Elliot from his backpack for sleep, he didn't seem as disappointed. He was tired though. 

He climbed into bed and sat up with one arm wrapped around Elliot and the other hand up to his mouth as he sucked his thumb. Steve went around locking all the windows and pulling the blinds closed even more. 

Pulling the blanket from the bag, he got into bed with Peter and laid down, pulling Peter next to him. He wrapped the blanket around them and tried to curl himself around Peter so he was shielded from the door and windows just in case. 

But Peter had a better idea to climb up and make himself comfortable on Steve's chest just as he'd been doing in the car. 

"Uh, Pete, there is more than enough room for both of us to lay on the bed. We're not stuck in the car anymore," Steve said even though he made no move to take Peter off his chest. He even started to run his hand up and down his back to soothe him to sleep.

"I like it here," Peter mumbled around his thumb as he continued to suck on it. "Can hear your heart go thump thump." 

Steve smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "Sweet dreams, little one." 

* * *

 

Living in a somewhat stable place took some worries off of Steve's shoulders. There were four walls and a roof for Peter. There was warmth. There was food. 

And now that Steve had some extra money in his pocket from selling the car and not needing gas money, not only could he pay for this room but he could go grocery shopping. Even if this was the only time he'd be able to splurge, it was something. 

He wanted there to be food here for Peter in case he got hungry. He also didn't want to keep going out to eat when it would be cheaper to just stock up on some foods. 

Which was why he was pushing Peter around a small supermarket in a shopping cart. He had Elliot in his lap because he still didn't understand that they were staying in the motel now. All he remembered was leaving their apartment and then leaving their car and he didn't want to leave the motel with his stuffie locked inside.

As well as Elliot, he was also holding the flyer that listed all the food on sale. Just because they had some money didn't mean he could afford to throw it around carelessly. Steve needed to get the most he could from the budget he allotted himself. 

"See anything good?" Steve asked him as he wheeled the cart down the produce aisle. Fruits and veggies were not only cheap but also healthy. 

"I want cookies," Peter said, leafing through the flyer without really looking at any of it.

"Cookies aren't an option. You need real food." 

"Cookies are real! Harry brings a giant one in for lunch every day and gives me half. I see it!" He kicked his feet once and Steve grabbed one of them so he couldn't do it again. 

"Do you want some apples? Or bananas? Carrots?" Steve asked, trying to distract him from the cookies.

Peter tilted his head and asked, "What do effies eat?" 

"Hmm," Steve tapped his chin, pretending to think, even though he had no idea what elephants ate. "I think they love strawberries and carrot sticks." He grabbed a carton of berries and a bag of carrots and dropped them in the cart. 

"Sound yummy, Ellie?" Peter asked, looking down at him. Peter giggled and nodded his head up at Steve. "He says he loves that."

Steve smiled softly. "That's very good. Elliot needs to eat, but so does my other little elephant so let's pick out some more food." 

"Okay!" Peter replied happily, looking around the store. 

They continued their shopping, getting things like bread, peanut butter, soups, cereal, and pasta. He bought storebrand of everything because it was always the same thing but cheaper. 

Peter got excited to see food filling up the cart, but it hurt Steve every time he had to tell him no to something. Like a box of Fruity Pebbles were a no...he couldn't afford $5 for a box of cereal. 

He tried to make it up to him with something else every time he had to say no and because he had the best kid in the entire world, Peter never pouted or complained. Steve said no and that was the end of the discussion. 

When they paid at the end, Steve hated losing money from his wallet but didn't feel as bad when he remembered this was food going into his son's belly.

"Alright, Pete, do you mind carrying some of these bags as we walk back?" He took multiple bags in each of his hands but left the one with bread in it for Peter. 

Peter grabbed the bag with one hand and held on tight to Elliot with the other. Then he looked up at Steve and grinned. "All ready, Papa!" 

Steve smiled right back and began to lead him out. "Stay close to me, in front," Steve said so Peter stayed in his line of vision at all times. Maybe he was paranoid, but he hated walking on the city streets with Peter. Especially with his hands full. He would use them as weapons if needed, but he really didn't want to waste the food. 

He shook his head, trying to get those thoughts out of his head. Nothing was going to happen. They were fine. 

He looked around them until he saw the familiar uniform of an NYPD officer only down the block. He relaxed a bit and kept walking, feeling at least a bit safer. 

He just had to get Peter home safe. Home…he didn't want to consider that dirty motel room home… He sighed and looked down at Peter. He didn't really seem too upset about the motel. In fact, he loved it. There was a channel that showed some old black and white TV shows. Peter really didn't understand a thing about Gilligan's Island, but he immediately loved it. Maybe because Gilligan was always doing something stupid enough to make him collapse in a fit of giggles. 

"How about we get back to the room, make some dinner, shower, and then watch TV. That sound fun?" Steve asked as they got closer to the motel. They were almost there...Steve could tell by the neighborhood they were in. 

"Yes, please!" Peter jumped up and down a few times.

"Sounds like a plan then, bud." 

 

Once they got back to the motel, Steve started dinner. Dinner tonight was soup and crackers. He poured it into two bowls that he picked up from the store and brought them over to the bed. "Alright, Pete, we gotta eat here, but that means we can't make a mess. Unless you wanna sleep in soup later tonight." 

Peter nodded his head very seriously. "I'll be careful, Papa. Won't spill any!" 

Steve handed him his bowl and placed it in his lap carefully. He didn't fill it all the way to the top because he knew Peter was a messy eater. "There's more in the pot for after you finish that," Steve told him. He wasn't giving him an option; Peter needed to eat and he was getting more. 

"This is yummy!" Peter said as he slurped some broth into his mouth. The microwave didn't heat it up too hot, so it wasn't going to hurt Peter's mouth. 

_ I'm glad you like it, kid, 'cus that's gonna be dinner for a while when one can feed us both at  $.50.  _

After they finished eating, Steve put their dishes in the bathroom sink and pulled back the shower curtain. He made a face at how gross it looked. But it was a shower and that meant Peter wouldn't have to bathe in the sink of a public restroom. 

"Pete, c'mon in here. Time to wash you down so you don't stink anymore."

Peter's little feet came running into the bathroom and he was already half undressed. He fell on his bottom with a grunt after his foot got stuck in his pants.

Steve smiled and leaned down to help him. He helped him strip down to just his socks. "We're gonna keep these on just in case I need to put you down." Then he stripped himself down to his boxers and socks. 

Peter was already ready to climb into the shower but Steve grabbed him under the arms and lifted him up. "Pete, I  _ really  _ don't want you touching the tub." 

"Ba'f!"

Steve leaned forward to turn the faucet on. Peter kicked his legs excitedly when the water began to pour down. "I know you're excited, bud." 

"Ba'f!" 

"Actually, that's a shower. We can't take a bath in that because it's too dirty. When we stand with the water pouring over us, it's a shower." 

Peter stared at him as if he were concentrating hard on what he was saying. Then he stared at the water and blinked and turned back to Steve. "Ba'f."

Steve sighed, his smile turning somber. "We'll get you a bath soon, Petey. I promise." Even their bath in the apartment hadn't been anything special, but bathtime was always one or Peter's favorite times. He loved splashing around and making a mess. He also loved covering Steve in suds. 

At the time, Steve hated having to clean up the flood in the bathroom after working all day long as Peter simultaneously made a bigger mess after working all day long. Now, he'd give anything to hear Peter's shrill laughter as he smacked the palms of his hands against the bath water. 

Despite asking for the bath over and over, Peter was just as happy to have a shower. It got him clean and didn't involve being shoved in a sink, so Steve really wasn't surprised. 

He got them both all cleaned, only putting Peter on his feet when necessary with a stern warning, "Do not sit down, Peter." 

He only went to sit once before Steve grabbed his wrist and stopped him. After that, he stood there patiently waiting for Steve to pick him up again. He didn't understand how filthy the tub was, but Steve did. 

After their shower, they both dressed in their pajamas-- well, sleepwear. Neither of them really had pajamas anymore. After he was dressed, Peter was immediately in sleep mode. It was like a switch was flipped that drained all of his energy. He wasn't jumping around anymore or begging for TV; he was sucking on his thumb and hugging Elliot close to his chest. 

Steve smiled down at him and scooped him up in his arms. "You sleepy, little man?" 

Peter nodded his head before resting it against Steve's shoulder. Steve pressed a kiss to the top of his head and smiled. 

"Let's get you to bed then." He carried him over to their bed and sat down, getting comfortable. By now, he knew better than to try and lay him down alone; lately, Peter had only been going to sleep when he was in Steve's arms with his head on his chest. Not that Steve minded. He'd gotten used to having that bundle in his arms overnight.

He was able to pull his sketchbook from the dresser next to him and draw with one arm while the other held Peter. He liked to hear his soft breathing as he drew; it was relaxing. 

Tonight, he did that same thing: he balanced his sketchbook on one thigh while Peter snuggled into his other arm. He was midway through a drawing of Peter that he added a little more to every night. He couldn't stay up too late because he had to be up early to get them both out of bed in the morning, but a little every night was enough. 

"S'that me?" Peter mumbled, his voice thick with exhaustion. 

"That's you, buddy."

"M'sleepin'." 

Steve chuckled softly. "Yup. You're asleep. I draw it after you're asleep for the night in my arms. Wanna fall to sleep now so Papa can finish?" 

"I see when you're done?" 

"Of course."

Peter smiled and nuzzled his head against Steve, letting his eyes drift shut. "Love you, Papa. Miss you 'til I wake up." 

"I'll miss you too, baby bear." He pressed another kiss to his head. 

Before long, Peter was sound asleep. Steve looked down at his blissfully sleeping face and returned to his drawing. 

He always felt guilty for enjoying this part of the night because he wasn't supposed to even have any of this. He only had this because Peter had given up his toys.

It was selfish for him to continue this dream. As much as Steve loved drawing, there was no way it would ever be enough to pay the bills. And he was so busy working other jobs now that he didn't have time to make a side business out of his art. 

But should he give up on his dream altogether? What example would that set for Peter? Steve always told him to never give up on his dreams. Steve giving up art was like Peter giving up space. He just couldn't imagine that. 

Hopefully, one day he wouldn't have to. But that day was not soon. 

 

Living in the motel was a relief to have a roof over their heads and a bed to sleep in and a place to store food, but it was not ideal. 

The area around the motel was horrible; Steve was terrified every time they had to walk through the streets to get back there. He always had Peter held tight in his arms until they were in the room and the door was locked. 

Another downside was the walking. It was far from both his work and Peter's school. Once in a while, the walk wouldn't be bad, but every morning and night in freezing weather was torturous. 

They were up and out of the room early in the morning just in time to get Peter to school, but that didn't mean he was always on time for work. It depended on how slow Peter was that morning and if he was feeling clingy when Steve had to drop him off. Peter not wanting Steve to leave him was steadily becoming a bigger and bigger issue. An issue any other parent would love to have-- hell, Steve loved knowing Peter didn't want him to leave. But not when he had to leave him to get to work on time.

He'd been late to work multiple times in a too short period and surprisingly, the worst of the punishment had only been some verbal warnings and of course, the docked pay of the time he wasn't there. 

His luck ran out soon enough. 

 

Steve knew it was going to be a bad day the moment that he woke up, feeling like an icicle. Their heat had shut off in the middle of the night and left the room feeling like an icebox. Steve wanted to do nothing else but pull Peter closer and wrap up in a blanket, but that was impossible. They had to start getting ready now if they wanted to be out on time. 

"Pete," Steve said, shaking him gently. "You gotta get up, bud." 

Peter whined and turned his face into Steve's chest. 

"No whining. School time." 

"No," he replied, trying to dig himself deeper.

"Yes," Steve said in a no nonsense tone. He'd love to be Peter's best friend all the time, but he was the only parent he had so that meant sometimes he had to lay down the law. If he showed any signs of caving in, Peter would pull out his puppy eyes and Steve wouldn't be able to say no as easily. He was already going to feel guilty for it for most of the day. 

"I wanna sleep!" Peter said, curling his fist around Steve's shirt. 

"But you can't. So come on." Steve wanted to stay in bed just as much as Peter did, but had to be Pops. So he sat up, still holding Peter in his arms. 

"No! No!" Peter yelled, smacking his fist tiredly against Steve. "Please no!" 

"Peter, please don't argue with me," Steve said, trying to keep his voice calm as he set Peter down on his feet. 

Peter went boneless and immediately crumpled to the ground. "No school!"

"Peter, get up off the ground! Do you know how dirty that floor is?" Steve leaned down and lifted him up even when Peter stayed limp, trying to make it difficult for him. 

"Sleepy!" 

"I know, but you have to go to school. You'll get naptime before you know it." He dropped him on the bed to try and get a better grip on him. 

Peter quickly crawled back under the blankets.

"Sleep now!"

Steve grabbed him by the ankle and dragged him back out. "No. School now." 

Peter fought him tooth and nail for a half hour as Steve tried dressing him for school. Steve tried not to get upset at him. Peter was never this difficult and he'd been going through a lot lately. Steve could only ask so much of a 4-year-old. 

He managed to bundle him up and get him out of the motel room with only a few tears. Once Steve had their door locked, he turned around to face Peter and held out his arms. For a moment, Steve was worried that Peter wasn't going to come closer, but after only a moment of hesitation, he hurried to his side and tried to jump up in his arms. Steve lifted him up all the way up and settled him against his side. 

"No school," Peter whined even though there was no fight left in his words. He settled his head down on Steve's shoulder and Steve felt his body already shiver in the cold. 

"I'm sorry, buddy," Steve whispered as he started their walk towards school.

Holding Peter meant that he could quicken their pace without worrying about Peter dragging behind. The only thing he had to be careful of was not slipping on the icy ground. It rained last night and with the weather, it froze over. Steve was thankful to have the motel to keep them dry overnight. 

He was able to get them to school only a few minutes late. But it was school Steve was worried about; Peter's teacher was more than understanding. 

So he wasn't surprised when Steve walked Peter to the classroom, knocked on their door and she opened the door only looking worried. She looked at Peter who was still curled against Steve's shoulder. "Is everything okay? I was worried when I noticed you two were running late." 

Steve hoped she hadn't noticed how bright red his cheeks and nose were probably from walking in the cold. "Sorry, Ms. Hill. The little guy didn't want to get out of bed this morning."

"Oh, poor baby," she said, stepping closer to put a hand on his back. "You wanna come inside, Peter?" 

He shook his head. "Sleepy."

"I'll let you take nap time early. Does that sound good? You can stay there all day if you want." 

"That sounds nice, Petey. Doesn't it?" Steve encouraged, kissing just behind his ear. 

"I want Papa." 

"Papa's gotta go to work, baby," Steve said softly. He looked at Ms. Hill apologetically. He mouthed the words,  _ I'm sorry  _ but she only smiled. 

"Peter, your Pops will be back at the end of the day to pick you up. It'll be here in no time."

"No time now?" 

"Not now," Steve said, pulling Peter away to set him on his feet again. The little whine Peter ley out hurt Peter right in his heart. 

"Come on, Peter. Let's go sit inside. I'll get you extra snack during snack time." 

Peter peeked up at her. "You always give me extra snacks." 

Steve's eyes flicked to Ms. Hill and she glanced at him as well before turning back to Peter. "You're right. I do." She smiled and took one of Peter's hands in hers. "So let's go get our extra snacks and nap." 

"But Papa…" 

"Your papa is gonna be back soon. After work." 

_ Work _ . Steve didn't even want to know what time it was. "I'll be back soon, Peter. And, and today I'll bring you back a treat."

"A treat?" Peter asked, rubbing his eyes. 

"A treat," Steve confirmed. "Any candy you want." 

Peter bounced with a little smile. "A Milky Way!" 

Steve laughed. "Yeah, okay, sweetie. Milky Way." 

Peter turned to his teacher with that precious smile. "It tastes like space." 

"I'm sure it does," she said. "How does that sound? Extra extra snacks, extra napping, and a candy bar from outer space." 

Peter thought about it for a moment before nodding his head. "Okay. Sounds fair." 

Steve kissed the top of Peter's head again. "Thank you, buddy. I have to run now, but I'll see you soon. Promise." 

Peter frowned at him. "Sorry for being a bad boy this morning." 

"Hush, sweetie." Steve cupped his cheeks, bringing his face close to his until their noses touched. "You weren't a bad boy. You're never a bad boy. You're the best. I love you so much."

"Love you too, Papa." 

Steve ruffled his hair before standing back up and getting ready to run. "Thank you so much, Ms. Hill. I'm sorry--." 

"Don't worry about it. Go." 

He nodded and then was off, running out of the school and to the supermarket. He needed to get there now. 

With Peter no longer in his arms, Steve hauled ass without a care. He slipped a few times but never fell. He just needed to get to work. 

Once he did, his boss was waiting for him right at the clock in/out station. And he wasn't happy. "Rogers. Office. Now." 

Steve clocked in before following because if he was going to be screamed at, he might as well get paid for it. 

The moment he was in the office and the door shut behind him, his boss was yelling. "I think I've been pretty patient guy, havent I?" 

"Yessir."

"So the countless times you've been late, day after day, I look the other way." He shrugged his shoulders. "A minute here, another minute there...it all adds up on payday. If that's not reason enough to get you to work, then I dont have one for you." 

"I know, sir. I'm sorry. My car--." 

"Yes. I know. Your car is broken. It's been broken and frankly, I think I've given you more than enough time to figure that out. If you cant fix it, take a taxi, if you cant afford that then walk! I dont give a fuck how you get here, just get here."

"I know--." 

"You obviously dont know because you are almost an hour late today." He raised his eyebrows. "Care to explain that?"

"My son, he--." 

"I don't care!" His boss yelled, cutting him off even though the bastard asked for an explanation. "This is your last warning. Hear that? The next time you're so much as a minute late, you better come in just to empty your damn locker." 

Steve nodded his head, not wanting to poke the bear any more. "Yessir."

"Good. Now get out there and get to work. Those freezers won't stock themselves." 

Steve sighed and stepped out of the office to get his work done. Having something to do would keep his mind off of how sad Peter was when he had to drop him off. His heart was still aching from his unhappy whines and tear filled eyes. 

Even when he had enough work to keep him busy for a few hours, Peter still never left his mind. It was probably his Papa Bear intuition the entire day because only 3 hours into his work day, he got a phone call. 

He knew he wasn't allowed to use his phone unless on his break, but there was only one person that would be calling his phone. And that person had Peter right now. 

Without even looking to see if anyone was watching, he pulled his phone from his pocket and sure enough, the caller ID of Peter's school was on the screen. He answered it immediately and skipped the greetings, "Is Peter okay?" 

"Mr. Rogers, we tried calming him down, but he doesn't want to listen," the familiar voice of Peter's teacher was on the other end. Except, this was the first time he'd heard her sound so frazzled. 

"What happened?" 

"He was sleeping for a bit until he woke himself up with a nightmare. We can't calm him down and it's been almost 20 minutes." 

Steve squeezed his eyes shut with a heavy heart. Peter was having a bad day and any normal and good father would have been able to let him stay home. He wasn't either of those. "Is he saying anything?" 

"He's just saying your name. He wants you." She paused. "I know it's still early in the day. I tried to calm him down, but I just don't think it's working. He needs you."

Steve nodded his head. "No. Thank you. It's fine. Thank you for calling me. I'll be right there."

He barely had his phone back in his pocket before he was hurrying back to his manager's office. He knew he was about to be screamed at for even asking, but he didn't hesitate. Not when Peter needed him. 

He rapped his knuckles on the door until he heard his manager call from inside letting him in. Steve pushed the door open and said, "Sir, I need to go home early today." 

His manager looked up from his desk, blinking. "I'm sorry, is this a joke?" 

Steve shook his head once. "No, sir. But I need to leave now." 

"You think you can come in an hour late and then leave hours early? Seriously?" 

Steve could see how bad that looked from a managers point of view, but he didn't understand. He didn't understand how rough Steve and Peter had it. "My son needs me."

"This store needs you. Your son has you for 18 hours of the day." 

_ No, he doesn't.  _

"With all due respect, this isn't a request, sir. I'm leaving to pick up my son." 

His manager paused for only a second. "Then you better clean out your locker before you go. Because if you leave early today, you're done here." 

"Sir,--." 

"Fired." 

Steve clenched his jaw. He needed this job like hell. He really did. But Peter also needed him right now. And every time, Peter's needs always came before Steve's. "Got it." 

The look of surprise on his managers face told him he really wasn't expecting Steve to choose that answer. "You're gonna regret this, Rogers."

Yeah, Steve probably would, but he wouldn't worry about that right now. He walked out of the office without another word. As he left the building, he had one thought to keep him going: Peter was worth it. 

He always was. 

* * *

 

"Come here, baby boy," Steve said, holding his arms out to take Peter from his teacher. He was still crying. 

Peter latched onto him and continued to sob into neck. "Papa, miss you." 

Steve bounced him gently, trying to soothe him. "I know, sweetie. I'm so sorry. I came as fast as I could." 

"I'm so sorry," Ms. Hill whispered, despite having nothing to apologize for. 

"It's fine. It's not your fault. Thank you for sitting with him." Steve rubbed Peter's back softly as he hushed him.

"Will you be bringing him back for aftercare?" She asked quietly. 

Steve thought of the other job he had...now, the only job. He knew he had to be careful, but Peter's grip on him tightened and that was all the answer Steve needed. "No, I've got him for the rest of the day." 

She smiled as she turned to look at Peter. "Feel better, Peter. I'll see you Monday, okay?" Peter nodded his head but didn't lift it from Steve's shoulder. 

Steve smiled and thanked her one more time before he carried Peter on their way back to the motel. Peter didn't say a word for the walk home and Steve kept him held close as he rubbed his back and sang softly to him. 

Once he had them back in their room, Steve brought them to their bed and sat down. He moved to cradle Peter in his arms like he used to do when he was a baby. 

"Feeling any better, buddy?" 

Peter nodded his head as he sucked on his thumb feverishly. 

"Wanna tell me what your nightmare was about?" Steve asked, knowing he was going to tell him. Peter was old enough to try and hide anything yet. "You know it'll help if you tell me." 

Peter pulled his thumb from his mouth and said, "I was in the old house." 

"The apartment?" Steve asked. 

Peter nodded his head. "They made you leave. Just like before. But you couldn't take me. They said I had to stay."

Peter's bad dream sounded just like Steve's bad dreams: someone taking Peter away from him. But that's all they were: bad dreams. 

Steve lifted Peter up so he could look him in the eyes. "Listen to me, Peter. No one will ever take you away from me. I don't care who they are or what they say. You're my boy and I will protect you with every breath I have left." 

Peter didn't understand just what that meant. He didn't know how much Steve would give up for him or what he would do to keep him safe. He was only a baby. 

"You're safe with me, Pete. I promise." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know I'm sorry hes coming. Tony is coming in like 2 chapters I think? 
> 
> But that doesnt mean its gonna get better when he does 
> 
> :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: there is some mentioning of prostitution

Steve might not have had anyone to help raise Peter for the past few years, but that didn't mean he was alone. No matter what, Steve had God by his side. Even if lately it had been rough enough for Steve to shake his fist up at the sky, he never doubted that God was there. 

Sometimes he just needed to know why He did the things He did. So when Sunday came that weekend, he and Peter were the first ones I'm the pew. 

It had been too long since he'd been in any church because he was always so busy with work and taking care of Peter. 

But once he was back, he fell to his knees and prayed harder than he ever had before. He asked God one thing; he asked Him to keep Peter safe and with him. They could deal with anything else. 

A soft poking in his side had him opening his eyes and looking over at Peter, who was staring at him curiously. He whispered close to him, "What're you doing?" 

Steve smiled softly at him. "I'm asking God to keep an eye on you." 

Peter, always eager to be like Pops, fell to his knees beside him, folded his hands and closed his eyes. In a quiet voice, he spoke to God like he was talking to a friend. "Hey, there, God. It's Peter...please keep an eye on my Pops for me. Oh! And Ellie too!" Elliot was sitting on the pew between them. "Thank you!" His eyes popped open and he looked over to Steve. "Did I do good?" 

"You did great, buddy." Steve ruffled his hair gently and patted the pew next to him. "Now we just sit and wait for mass to start." 

Peter did so, talking to Elliot quietly until they stood up for the beginning of mass. Then he was respectfully silent throughout the service.

After they were finished, a woman came up to the podium and read off weekly announcements. The last thing she spoke about was a small group meeting right after mass to make sandwiches and hand them out. When she excused them all, Steve didn't expect for Peter to start tugging on his shirt. "I wanna do that!" 

Steve frowned. "What?" 

"I wanna make sandwiches!" 

"No, Petey, there not for us to eat. They're for people that don't have food."  _ That's us, but you don't know that.  _

"I wanna help people!" Peter announced, smiling. "Please? It'll be fun!" 

That guaranteed them a warm place longer. Steve was off on Sunday and this would keep them together and happy. Steve just wanted Peter happy and this would be fun for him...Steve wasn't sure what dragged Peter in go want to hand out sandwiches, but he did. Even if he didn't know that the people they were going to be helping...were them. 

"Okay, buddy. We can do this. Let's go see if we can join." He lifted Peter up and he wrapped his little legs around Steve. 

"Can Ellie help?" 

Steve hummed as he started walking them out of the church. "What do you say, Elliot? Would you like to join us?" 

Peter giggled and lifted the stuffed elephant up to Steve's face and made a deep voice, well, as deep as his little toddler voice could go, and said, "Love to, Mis'er Papa!" 

Steve couldn't stop himself from smiling and leaning over to press a kiss to Peter's cheek. "I love you so much, baby bear." 

Peter let out a small squeal of excitement and asked, "What about Ellie?" 

"I love him too." 

"Kiss!" Peter shoved the stuffed elephant to Steve's lips.

Steve made a loud kissing sound. "A kiss for you too, Mr. Elliot." 

Peter smiled and rested his head against Steve's shoulder. "We've got the best papa, don't we, Ellie?" 

Steve didn't think so, but as long as Peter thought so, that was all that mattered. 

* * *

When they walked into the room with everyone else getting ready to make the sandwiches, Peter kicked his feet excitedly. Steve knew that was his cue to lower Peter to his feet. 

He did so, but Peter grabbed his hand to stay close. When he straightened up, he noticed that the eyes in the room were on them. He tugged Peter closer to his legs subconsciously. 

A woman stepped forward with a cheerful smile. "You two must be new. I don't recognize you guys." 

Steve panicked, wondering if this was an event they needed to sign up for. "I'm sorry. My son heard about it and he wanted to join." 

"Oh, you don't have to apologize. The more, the merrier. Everyone is welcome." 

Peter looked up at her and waved his hand. "Hi, I'm Peter!" 

The woman smiled at Steve before kneeling down to get on eye level with Peter. "Why hello there, Peter. My name is Hope. And who is this little guy you got with you?" She pet Elliot's head softly. 

"That's Ellie!" Peter made him dance with his hand as he giggled. "He's my friend!" 

"Your best friend?" 

"No. My best friend is my papa." He tugged Steve's hand until he leaned down to their level. "This is him." 

Steve held out his hand and introduced himself, "I'm Steve Rogers." 

Hope shook his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Deacon Scott's wife." 

Steve didn't know the name, but he should. He just never had time to go to church any more like he used to. "Yes, of course. I'm sorry we haven't been donating as much to the church, we--."

"Please don't apologize. Pay what you can and  nothing more."

What they could was nothing. 

"Is it okay if we join today?" Steve asked, changing the subject. 

"You don't even have to ask. There's always a seat." 

"I wanna sit and help!" Peter jumped up and down, his hand still tight in Steve's hand. 

"You will. My husband is about to get us started. What do you say we take a seat?" She smiled patiently and Peter nodded his head, dragging Steve along with him. 

Peter squeezed them on a seat and Steve had to lift him on to his lap so they could both fit, but neither one complained. Steve pressed a kiss to the top of Peter's head as he settled in.

"I want to thank you all for coming tonight," the man in the front of the room. "My name is Deacon Scott. Tonight we're going to be using the donations we've collected to put together meals for the homeless souls in our community." 

Steve shouldn't have been surprised when Peter's hand went shooting up too fast for Steve to stop. Deacon Scott didn't seem to mind as he smiled over at him. "Yes, little one?"

"Why don't they go find homes? Like a 'venture." 

Steve felt his heart start racing.  _ Peter no.  _

"Well, they tried, but they're having a hard time getting back on their feet and until they can, we're going to make them some food. Because everyone needs to eat," Deacon Scott answered with a smile. 

"My Papa always makes sure I eat lots." 

"Because your father loves you very much and wants to protect you. We want to protect these people as well, which is why we are going to make sure they eat." Thankfully, he didn't seem annoyed to have to explain this to a toddler. Neither did anyone else sitting at the tables. 

Peter didn't ask another question, so the deacon continued, "This first table is for the sandwiches. One slice peanut butter and one side jelly."

"We should make some just jelly," Peter said loud enough for everyone to look at him again. 

"Oh, yeah?" Scott said, not unkindly. "Why's that, little man?" 

"Some people are 'lergic. My friend Harry can't have peanuts. What if some of your friends with no homes are 'lergic too?" 

That seemed to catch him by surprise. "That's a very good idea-- I didn't get your name." 

"I'm Peter!" 

"That's a very good idea, Peter. Would you like to make some with no peanut butter?" 

"Sure!" Peter bounced on Steve's lap with a smile as he slapped his hand against the table. Elliot was still squeezed tight in the other arm. Peter never let him go unless he had to; convincing him to leave him in his backpack during class for school took a long time to do. 

"Very good, then. That table is where our sandwiches will be made and then you'll go to the next for a snack and the last table has water bottles. So each brown bag will have full meal to give out tonight."

Peter turned around to smile up at Steve and Steve rubbed his head gently. "I know, buddy, you're excited." 

When the deacon announced they could start, Peter was the first one hurrying to start. Steve helped him spread the jelly on the bread slices, but at least it was easier to not rip the bread. Steve was worried that others around them by being annoyed by a toddler joining them, but in fact, all of them seemed more than happy to see him there. 

He ran from one table to the next making his sandwiches and then sticking in a small snack bag and water bottle. He took quite a good amount of time trying to decide which snack was perfect for each bag. 

While he was putting his sixth bag onto the finished pile, Deacon Scott came over to Steve. "You've got quite the son."

"I know. He's the best," Steve said, always happy to brag about Peter. 

"He reminds me of my baby girl, Cassie." 

"She likes to help out too?" 

Steve's question earned a laugh from him. "No, she's way too tiny. Barely 15 months. But she's my everything. There isn't a thing I wouldn't do for that girl." He grinned at Steve as he nudged his arm. "And something tells me that you'd do anything for your boy."

"Anything and everything," Steve said without a doubt in his mind. 

"It shows. He's a wonderful boy with a wonderful father. I wish there were more fathers like you," he said as he looked Steve right in the eyes. 

Steve smiled and softly said, "Thank you, Deacon." 

Before the deacon could speak again, Peter was interrupting them. He stood on Steve's foot and held onto his leg as he look up at them. "This is a lotta fun, Mr. Deacon. Can we do this more?" 

Scott chuckled. "Well, Pete, we do this a few times a month, but in a week or so, we're wrapping presents that we collected to give out to the kids without any if you'd like to join." 

Peter's eyes widened and he was trying to climb up Steve's leg, so Steve lifted him up and settled him on his hip. "They don't have toys either?"

_ Either.  _ Steve's eyes widened. 

Thankfully, Scott didn't pick up on it. "Unfortunately, no." 

"But why doesn't Santa give them some if their mommy and daddy can't?" 

Scott had an answer ready. "These families don't live in one spot. They're on the go. It's hard for Santa to find them."

Peter's lower lip stuck out in a pout. "Poor kids."

_ You're a poor kid too, Peter. Care about yourself for once. Please.  _

"It's okay. We get lots of donations to give to the kids." 

Still, Peter didn't look satisfied with this answer. "I wish I could give some. I jus' have Ellie." Peter squeezed the elephant tight. 

Steve watched Scott's reaction, trying to see if he thought it was strange Peter only had one toy. Thankfully, he didn't understand what Peter meant by having only Elliot. "It's alright, champ. We're collecting for another week or so. If you really want, you've got time to go through your old toys. I'm sure you've got something lying around that a kid would love to have." 

Before Peter could open his mouth and tell the deacon he abandoned all of his toys for Steve, he spoke up first. "We'll definitely do that. Peter loves giving." 

Scott smiled. "I can tell. Well, if he wants, we're all heading out to deliver these meals now. He can tag along." 

"I don't want him to get in the way," Steve said as Peter started cheering, "Yes, please!"

"He won't. something tells me these people would love to see a smile like Peter's." 

Steve looked down and saw Peter smiling wide enough to show his gums and all his little teeth. That smile was always enough to make any crappy day of Steve's turn around. "Alright, we'd love to go."

"Awesome! Let's pack up the van and get going!" 

* * *

They drove by nearby shelters and dropped off meals and extra food they had. They were met with nothing but grateful smiles. 

Steve saw one father start crying as he watched his daughter take a bite of a sandwich and Steve had to look away. He and Peter had it bad, but they didn't have it this bad. 

_ Not yet.  _

Steve tried to ignore that afterthought.

When they were done visiting the shelters, they started walking the streets to hand out meals to those living on the sidewalk. They were the people that others walk past everyday with their eyes looking anywhere else. They were the people that had to rifle through trash cans just to get  _ something  _ to eat. 

They looked like they needed to bathe and sleep in an actual bed, but all they had to offer was food. But it was something. It was food and water. It was enough. 

One man that looked about Steve's age and had dog tags around his neck smiled as Peter explained what was inside the paper brown bag. When Peter finished, the man laughed and poked him in the stomach. "You sure you dont want to share this, little guy? Looks like you could use some eating too." 

It was a joke, but Steve didn't find it funny. It made him panic. He knew Peter was losing some weight; they both were. But was it that bad? "He's a picky eater," Steve said, hoping that was good enough. 

The man looked inside his bag and pulled out a bag of pretzels. "Does he like these?" 

The man was starving and he still wanted to feed Peter. "No, he's fine. That's yours."

Peter tilted his head as he stared at the man. "You adults worry too much. Do you all give your food to little kids?" 

The man chuckled. "Only to the cute ones."

Peter giggled at that and over by the van, Scott started calling everyone back. They were going to their next spot. 

"It was a pleasure to meet you, little guy. Thank you for the food. Thank you."

"You're welcome!" 

The man turned to Steve and stuck out his hand. Steve took it immediately and shook it firmly. "I'm sorry. I wish there was more I could do." 

"This is more than enough. Believe me. This food. Talking to people. Seeing that kids smile. You treating me like an actual human being. It's all perfect." 

Despite his words, Steve left him behind in that cardboard box on the street, wishing he could do more.

 

After that, Steve tried avoiding getting personal with the people they handed food too. He couldn't take the growing guilt. Even if he wasn't well off himself, he still had more than them and still complained everyday. 

He managed to avoid too much of a conversation until their last stop. Peter was by his feet, holding his last bag to hand out. He was determined to find someone that had yet to get one.  

Steve was about to tell him there wasn't anyone else out here when Peter's eyes caught something. He let out a squeal and ran, keeping both the bag and Elliot close to his chest. 

"Peter, wait!" 

"The stars!" He yelled, rounding the corner to where there was a woman waiting at the corner. Peter crashed into her legs, dropping the bag of food to grab onto the hem of her purple sequined dress. 

Steve immediately bent down and lifted Peter up in one arm and picked the brown bag up with the other. "I'm so sorry, ma'am," he apologized. "He knows better than to do that. Right, Peter?" 

Peter didn't want to apologize for crashing into a stranger. He was still infatuated with her dress. "Look at the stars!" 

The woman tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked down at her dress. When she spoke, her voice was thick with an accent Steve didn't recognize. "He's quite alright." 

"I don't know what's gotten into him."

"Your dress is space!" 

Steve took a second look at her dress and realized that the way the sequins shone, they looked like glittering stars in the sky. He also noticed the high heels and the makeup and the messy hair and it clicked in his head. She was out here for business. He felt his cheeks heat up. "I'm sorry. He likes your dress. Reminds him of the stars and he loves the stars." 

The woman smiled, shifting on her feet slightly as she looked to Peter. "It does look like the stars, doesn't it?" 

"Have you been there?" Peter asked, excitement in his voice. 

"To space? Not lucky enough to get there. Farthest I've been is Sokovia. Have you been to space?" 

Peter shook his head. "Not yet. I'm gonna be there soon, though!" 

"Oh, I bet you will. Do you have plans to do when you get there?" 

"Plans?" 

"Sure. What will you do once you get up in space?" 

Peter furrowed his brow, thinking hard. "I don't know."

"Something to think about." 

Peter nodded seriously as he began to think it over. Steve lowered his voice so he didn't disrupt Peter from his thinking. "We have an extra bag of food and toiletries. Take it please." 

The girl's eyes hardened. "I don't need your handouts. I'm doing fine." 

"I'm not saying you're not," Steve backtracked. "I just want to give you something to eat." 

"I have food and money for my own soap. Find another charity case." She glared at him and Steve couldn't believe this was the same woman just talking to Peter. 

"It's just a gift. Nothing wrong with taking it."  _ Then why wasn't he?  _

Her fingers twitched and she snatched the bag, looking down into it. Her lip twitched when she saw what was inside. "William loves Doritos." 

"William?" Steve asked, wondering who suddenly had her voice softening like that. 

"One of my sons. William and Thomas. They're twins." She rolled the bag back up. "They're with my brother right now. Pietro will love the sandwich." 

"What about you?" 

Her smile turned sad as she looked at Steve. "I'll be okay. I always am as long as my babies are." She looked down at Peter and twisted one of his curls around her finger. "I do it for them. It keeps them in a warm bed and food in their bellies. Whatever I have to do to ensure that stays that way, I'll do it." 

Her voice sounded defensive. "Of course. They're your children. I don't blame you." 

"Not everyone understands." She sighed. "When you have kids that need you, you become desperate." 

"Of course." 

She was silent for a moment before admitting, “I wasn't always like this. Times got hard and it was either my children freezing and starving or me making some friends after their bedtime. Can't say I like the work, but I wouldn't stop." 

Steve swallowed hard. He talked about doing everything for Peter, but  _ this  _ was never even a thought in his mind. The front desk receptionist at the motel had been interested...how much would she pay for--  _ no.  _

He must have made a face because the girl said, "I know what you're thinking, but we can't all be as lucky as you. Dad of the year with your clean money and spoiled baby." She stopped herself before she could get any more angry. "I'm sorry. I'm not having a great night." 

"The stars will make it better," Peter said suddenly back in the conversation. 

"What?" 

"Talk to the stars when you're sad. They'll help you. Papa calls them God."

The girl looked like she had something she wanted to say about God, but held it back. Steve was thankful for that. Finding faith in God during the hard times wasn't for everyone, he understood that, but that didn't anyone the right to make comments about those that found comfort in Him.

Steve looked up to the Father and Peter looked up to his father. It kept them happy and Steve didn't want to ruin that.

"Thanks for the advice, kid." She gave him a small smile. "Remember what I told you. You need a plan for that space trip of yours." 

"I'm gonna think of a great one!" 

Her smiled softened as she rubbed the top of Peter's head. "I bet you will." Then she turned to Steve and said, "Thank you for the food. I'm sorry for...well, me…" 

Even though it wasn't okay for her to assume they were well off or that Peter was spoiled in any sense of the word, he still told her it was. "Don't worry."

"You should come to church," Peter said. "Then I'll see you again and can tell you my ideas." 

"You know, kid, one day I might take you up on that offer. But right now, I don't think I belong there."

"If you want to belong there, you do," Steve told her. 

"You don't know the things I've done." 

"Something tells me anything you've done was to protect your kids. God gets that." 

She shrugged her shoulders. 

"If you ever do, ask Deacon Scott for Steve. Maybe we can get together. We have more in common than you think." 

"Wanda." 

"Hm?" 

"My name is Wanda." 

Steve remembered the man they'd just met, the one that was happy just to be treated like a human. So he smiled at her and said, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Wanda. We have to go and we'll let you go." 

Peter waved wildly to her. "Bye, Miss Wanda!" 

"Goodbye, little one." 

Peter was still waving as Steve carried him away to the van. Steve got in the van, holding Peter carefully as he smiled. "We meet so many people, Papa!" 

"Yeah, kiddo. We do." 

Scott leaned over and smiled. "Speaking of meeting people, Hope and I are having a nice dinner at our place after this. My buddy is watching my daughter and waiting up for us. You want to join?" 

"We wouldn't want to intrude." 

Scott rolled his eyes. "It'd be our pleasure. Luis doesn't believe me that I have any other friends." 

"But we just met today." 

Scott winked. "He doesn't need to know that." 

Steve only hesitated a moment. "If you have the food to spare, we would love to." Part of Steve felt bad for taking advantage of the deacon at his church just to get free food, but he had to do it for Peter. 

"Great! Hope you're hungry. Sunday we like to feast." 

"Trust me. I can eat," Steve told him, his mouth already watering.  

"A man after my own heart," Scott said, placing a hand over his chest. 

"Calm down over there," Hope said, glancing back at him from the front. "Your wife might hear you."

Scott and Steve laughed at that and Peter joined in immediately just because everyone else was laughing. 

Scott patted him on the shoulder. "Oh, yes, we're going to have fun tonight." 

* * *

 

They did have a lot of fun, but their bar wasn't very high for that. Steve thought it was fun because they were somewhere warm, had a plate full of food, and Peter was laughing and playing. 

The baby, Cassie, was overjoyed to have another friend in the house. Scott said she could walk on her own, but she was much more happy to crawl around to keep up with Peter. The toys that she had were babyish for a four-year-old, but Peter loved them all just because he finally had toys to play with. 

Scott and Hope didn't have a booster seat for Peter to eat at, but Peter didn't even hesitate before going straight to Steve's lap. 

"I'm sorry," Steve apologized to them as they started eating. "He's just a little clingy."

"Don't apologize," Scott said with a smile. "I think it's nice how close you two are." 

Peter fell back against Steve's chest and grabbed onto one of his arms. "My Papa."

Hope smiled softly at them. "He's all yours." 

Peter giggled and then turned back to his dinner.

There was so much food. Steve wished he could wrap some of it up and pocket it. If he could save some of his then later when Peter was hungry again, Steve could feed him. 

"Eat! Eat!" Peter said, poking his cheek. 

"Okay, Pete." 

"He's right. Manja! There's so much more where that came from. Please help yourself." Scott shoveled a forkful of food into his mouth, encouraging Steve to do the same. 

Steve hesitated before lifting the fork to his mouth.  _ This is food Peter could be eating.  _ The thought had him shoving his fork back to the table. He held Peter just a little closer on his lap. 

He snapped his head up when he felt a hand on his arm. Hope was smiling at him just barely. "I know what you're thinking.  _ Why do I get to eat when they can't?" _

Steve didn't say a word. She was right, but not completely. 

"It's hard the first time. It's hard to go home after seeing what they have. We have everything. We take it all for granted. Those people out there don't even have a home to go to, let alone food like this." 

_ Those people.  _ Steve and Peter were those people. 

"So, please try to forget about that long enough to just feed yourself. No reason to starve yourself." 

"How do I just forget about that?"  _ How do I forget when he's sitting in my lap? _

"You're not going to forget. You proved that by helping us out tonight. Don't punish yourself for being well off enough to eat." 

"Your kid is watching your every move whether you know it or not. Do you want him to stop eating?" 

Steve whipped his head to stare at Scott with wide eyes. He couldn't he'll but sound defensive. "No. He won't stop eating. He'll always be fed." 

"Of course he will be with a dad like you," Scott said slowly. "Eat." 

"Yeah, Papa. Eat!" 

Steve hesitated before picking his fork up and taking a bite of his food. He took one bite and he immediately needed more. He hurried another forkful into his mouth, one after the other.

The only thing that stopped him was Peter's giggling before he started shoving his own food into his mouth. "I eat like Papa," Peter said through a mouthful of food. 

"See?" Scott said with a wink. "Told you he watches you." 

Steve felt embarrassed for acting like that and letting his hunger take over, but neither Scott nor Hope seemed to notice. "Yeah, he does…" 

"So, eat up as much as you can. Both of you."

Steve did so and Peter followed. 

* * *

 

From then on, things seemed to only grow harder. Steve had become more active at the church, getting a few small jobs here and there to start saving up. But it wasn't enough.

Their rent was still due at the end of every week and they were already behind. The manager could only grant them so many favors to stay.

Steve was barely getting any sleep because he just couldn't. He was up all night worried about what the hell was going to happen to them and only fell asleep when his body passed out. 

He just wanted to be enough for Peter. He wasn't even sure how Peter was feeling lately. His schedule gave him only dinner time to talk to Peter before he was asleep for the night. Steve still held him in his arms every night and sometimes that was the only thing keeping him from feeling like he was losing him. 

He tried to make the most of what time they shared together. Unfortunately, as the days passed, he was only growing more and more exhausted. He could barely keep his eyes open through their microwave dinners. 

One night, Steve didn't even make it to dinnertime. He got into their motel room at the end of the day, felt the warmth hit him (barely anything but compared to the freezing temperature outside, it was everything) and immediately fell forward. He made sure to drop Peter on the bed safely before collapsing. Peter crawled over and started to pet his head. "Papa sleepy?" 

"Papa exhausted," he said, not even able to remember the last full night of sleep he got. He was always up before Peter, didn't sleep until he was sound asleep, worked different jobs wherever he could get through the city, and didn't get a naptime like Peter did. 

He was too tired to draw anymore. He was too tired to even have a conversation with his son. 

"You can sleep." 

Steve shook his head. He didn't like leaving Peter awake and alone. "I just need to rest my eyes for a few seconds. Then I'll get dinner going." 

"Okay, Papa." 

He shut his eyes for only a moment, he swore. And then woke up to the sound of something falling and making a loud bang. He shouted in surprise as he shot up in bed, blinking his eyes. 

Immediately, he started looking for Peter, but couldn't see anything in the dark room. He looked at the window and saw there was no longer a sun in the sky. He definitely had his eyes closed for more than a moment. 

"Peter!" He called, pushing himself out of bed and to the light switch. He flicked it on and looked around the small motel room frantically until he saw Peter sitting on the floor by the fridge. 

He froze with the jar of peanut butter in his hands and said, "Sorry, Papa! I didn't wanna wake you!" 

"Peter," Steve said, trying to calm his beating heart. "What're you doing?" 

"I'm hungry," he whispered. 

"Oh, my God," Steve said, realizing he fell asleep without getting Peter any dinner. "I'm so sorry, buddy." He hurried over and lifted Peter up in his arms. 

"I tried to open this," he said, holding the jar of peanut butter. 

"I'll make us some sandwiches," Steve walked into the kitchen to grab some bread and a knife. 

"I'm sorry. I wanted you to sleep." 

"Dont apologize, kiddo. I gotta feed you. Can't have you going to bed hungry." He hugged Peter closer. "I'll never let you go to sleep hungry. Never." 

Peter rested his head on Steve's shoulder and said, "It's okay, Papa." 

It wasnt okay. Nothing about wondering if Steve would keep Peter from starving was okay. But Steve could pretend. For Peter, he could do anything. 

"Yeah, buddy?" 

"Yup. I promise it's all okay. I got you and yout got me." 

Steve pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "You got that right, bud." 

* * *

 

Peter's infatuation with the motel didn't last long enough. Especially going from Scott and Hope's  house to this, Peter wasn't as happy as he once was. Steve was already close to losing their room and he didn't even get to see Peter laugh as he jumped on their bed anymore. 

Even as he poured some soup into a bowl for Peter, he did nothing but pout at him. He glared down at his dinner. 

Steve sighed as he poured him a glass of apple juice. "What's wrong, bud?" 

"I don't want soup!" 

Steve huffed, turning away so Peter couldn't see his face. "That's all we have." 

"I want mac and cheese!" He yelled, smacking his hands on the bed. 

Steve rushed forward to catch the bowl before it split on him. "Peter, be careful!" 

"I don't want to eat that! Every day!" 

Steve held the bowl with one hand and took Peter's hand in the other. "I know and I'm sorry, Peter. But this is all we have and you need to eat something."

"No," Peter said, kicking his feet. 

Steve frowned and let go of Peter's hand so he could place the bowl of soup on the bedside table. He turned back to where Peter was sitting but then he was off the bed and running. He ran as far away as he could, which with his little legs and this tiny motel was nowhere. Steve lifted him up under the arms to bring him to his eye level. "What's gotten into you?" 

"Put me down! Put me down!" He screamed, flailing as much as could. 

"No. You're a big boy. Use your big boy words and tell me why you're upset." Steve tried pulling him close to his chest, but Peter only shrieked louder. "Those aren't your big boy words. You sound like a baby. Are you a baby?" 

"No!" Peter yelled, smacking Steve in the face. Hard. 

"Peter, do not hit," Steve said sternly with a glare of his own. 

"Hit!" Peter went to hit him again, but Steve grabbed his hand before he could. 

"Peter Rogers," Steve said, making his voice even sterner. "Do not hit me." 

Peter went quiet for a moment before his bottom lip quivered and he started to wail. He was saying something between sobs, but Steve couldn't understand him. 

Steve let him let it all out for a few moments until his sobbing turned to small hiccups. He tried once again to pull him close and give him a hug, but Peter still refused to be held any closer. 

Steve rocked back and forth slightly and softened his voice, "Come on, baby. You're sleepy and when you're sleepy, you're cranky." 

"Not cranky!" Peter yelled, rubbing his eyes. 

Steve rocked him more. 

"Yes, you are--." Steve was cut short when Peter jerked in his hold suddenly and jumped from his arms. His heart skipped a beat as he hurried to catch him, but Peter fell right to the bed. He was only relieved for a moment before he said, "Peter, you need to stop. You're acting like a baby." 

_ Because he is a baby, Rogers. He's your son and he's been through hell all because of you. He has a right to be upset.  _

"I hate this!" 

Despite Peter's yelling, Steve kept his voice low. The walls were paper thin (unfortunately, they found that out the hard way) and they were probably already keeping their neighbors up with Peter's screams. "What do you hate? The soup? I can pick up something else tomorrow. I promise it'll be new and tasty." He didn't have the money, but he was going to get anything to make Peter smile again. 

"I hate this 'venture!" Peter screamed, making Steve go silent. "I want to go home! I miss my bed and my toys!" 

Steve swallowed past a lump in his throat. "W-what about Elliot? Is that what this is about? He's right there, buddy. Go give him a hug and I promise you'll feel better." 

Peter looked over at where Elliot was propped against the bed. He stuck two fingers in his mouth and sucked on them anxiously. Steve was hoping he'd crack and go lay down with Elliot, but he didn't. He kicked his feet and started crying harder again. "Not fair!" 

Steve sat down on the bed, reaching a hand out to Peter but not closing the distance all the way. "I know it's not, Pete. I'm trying. I swear, I'm trying so hard to get us back home. That's why I'm working so much and finding all those funny jobs. I need-- I need money to get us back home," Steve said, trying so desperately to keep his voice from breaking. 

Peter pulled his fingers from his mouth and said, "We don't need money! I need to see you! I go to school and you work and you leave me there all night!" 

Steve couldn't look into those big brown eyes anymore. Those eyes were overflowing with tears because of  _ him. _ "I have to work. I can't drag you around, Peter. You can stay with your friends and play games. Doesn't Harry stay sometimes too?"

"I don't want them! I want you! I want my Papa!" Peter cried out, rubbing at his tears. 

Steve hated watching Peter sit there and try to comfort himself. "But I'm here now.  _ I'm here."  _

"Not enough! I want you here all the time! I need you! You always leave me!"

"Come here, Peter." 

"No!" 

Steve clenched his teeth before leaning over, grabbing Elliot and handing him to Peter. Peter hesitated only a moment before snatching him from his hands and squeezing him close to his chest. "How is that?"

"I dont want to stay in this stupid place anymore!" He said, hiding his face in Elliots fur.

"I'm going to get a job and then we're gonna get out of here and go back home. Promise." 

"You said that 100 years ago! I want to leave now!" 

"Soon. Peter, soon. I promise you. I'm going to get you out of here and get you your own bed and your own toys and so much food that your little belly never knows what hunger feels like again. I promise." He looked up at him, unable to stop his own tears from falling down his cheeks. 

Peter glared at him. "Don't lie." 

Steve moved closer, his heart breaking more and more. "I'm not lying. Peter, I wouldn't lie to you." 

Peter flopped backwards on the bed before Steve even had the chance to finish. He curled into a ball with Elliot in his arms and his back to Steve. 

Steve moved a little closer. "Going to sleep, buddy?" 

"Yes." 

"Want me to put your pjs on? I can get changed too and then we can cuddle--." 

"No." 

"But, Pete…" 

"I'm mad at you," Peter said without turning around. "No cuddles when I'm mad." 

Steve froze in his spot. Peter never turned down even a hug, let alone  _ cuddles.  _ He could only stare at Peter's small form as he miserably failed at trying to stop his crying. 

Shaking his head, Steve raised one hand over and put a hand on Peter's arm. "Sweetie, let me hold you. You can be mad all you want, but let me calm you down until you sleep."

Peter flinched under his hold. "No. I wanna be myself." 

"Okay," Steve said, pulling his hand back. "I'm going to give you a kiss though. You know I don't like going to bed angry." Peter didn't argue so Steve leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his temple. "Goodnight, Peter. I love you so so much." 

Peter didn't say anything back, but Steve pulled away anyway. He laid down, facing Peter just far enough that he wasn't touching, but if Peter reached out in the night, he'd be right there. 

Steve didn't let his eyes fall shut until Peter's sniffles turned into soft snoring. And for the first time since they were kicked out of their apartment weeks ago, Peter fell asleep without laying against Steve's chest. Steve hadn't felt this cold in years. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys. This is it. Your boy is coming next chapter.   
> ALSO I loved writing the tantrum scene. I've been sk excited to write that.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick chapter bc it just flowed. This is where it gets exciting boys.

Steve's body had an internal alarm clock that woke him up early enough for him to get Peter awake and fed before they had to get to school.

The morning after their (first) argument, it wasn't any different. Except, instead of being cuddled on his chest, Peter was tucked up close to his side. 

Steve put an arm around him and pulled him a little closer, smiling softly. Even if he went to bed angry, in his sleep Peter couldn't stay far by the way his little fists were holding onto Steve's shirt tightly. 

He laid there for a few minutes just to enjoy having Peter in his arms. He wasn't sure if Peter still remembered his mood, but if he did, he wanted to hold Peter before he woke up and moved away.

But he couldn't stay there forever. Not if he wanted to get Peter to school on time and then have enough time himself to go around looking for work. So he grudgingly shook Peter's shoulder and said softly, "Up and at 'em, Petey."

Peter groaned and tried to hide his face deeper into Steve's side. Steve's smile deepened as he shook him again. "Come on, buddy. Time to fill that big brain of yours at school." 

Peter grunted and let go of Steve's shirt to stick a thumb in his mouth. 

"We do this every morning, Pete. You gotta get up."

"Mad," Peter mumbled around the thumb in his mouth with his eyes still closed. 

"Oh, you're still mad? But not mad enough to stay away, huh?" Steve teased and Peter immediately pulled his thumb from his mouth to grab onto Steve's shirt. Steve felt his heart skip a beat when Peter did so. "I'm not making you go anywhere, sweetie." Peter clung on tighter and Steve said, "But if you want a donut before you go to school, we've got to get going now." 

Peter lifted his head up with wide eyes. "Donut?" 

"Yeah, bud. I owe you an apology for putting you through this and I know you had a rough night last night." Steve rubbed his back softly. 

"We can see Nat too?" 

Steve frowned. "Nat?" 

"Nat got me my donut last time. She's always there in the morning. I miss her." Peter pushed himself up and started to rub the sleep from his eyes. Steve had to suppress a grin at his crazy bedhead. 

"You remember her?" 

"'Course, Papa! She's my friend." 

Steve laughed softly. "Okay, Pete. We'll go see if she's working today." 

That had Peter jumping up to his feet and bouncing on the bed excitedly. "Thank you! Thank you!" 

Steve sat up quickly, holding a hand out just in case Peter lost his footing and fell off the bed. "Alright, monkey, you get ready and then we'll go." 

"Okay! Okay!" Peter grinned as he jumped and then let himself fall to the bed. "I want my space shirt!" 

His NASA shirt was his space shirt. Steve had gotten it for him for his birthday and told him he was one step closer to being an astronaut. It was his favorite shirt ever since. But that was also the same shirt that Peter spilled milk all over last week and Steve still hadn't had the chance to clean it yet. 

"That one is still a little messy, buddy. How about another one? A clean one?" 

Peter pouted. "I don't have any clean fun ones." 

"I'm sure you've got a red or blue one that's clean. You like those colors," Steve tried reasoning. 

"They're boring." 

"Okay, well, I'll wash your other shirts and then you can wear them soon." 

Peter smiled at him. "Thank you, Papa!" Then he jumped off the bed and ran over to his backpack where Steve kept whatever clothes of Peter's he still had. 

Steve had to help him get dressed, but soon they were both out the door and ready to go. They were running a few minutes late and stopping at the cafe would make it worse, but Peter could be late to school once in a while. Steve promised him his donut.  

Steve kept Peter close to his chest the entire way because now that it was early December, there never seemed to even be one day of weather that didn't cause the temperature to fall close to single digits. The heating in the motel wasn't much, but at the end of the day, it was the best feeling in the world to curl up together under the blankets. 

When they stepped inside the cafe finally, Steve was hit by the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. He lowered Peter to his feet when he started kicking his feet. Despite it being much warmer in here between the heating and the ovens baking all the fresh pastries, Peter didn't take off his gloves or hat. He ran up to the front counter and tried to pull himself up to see over the top. "'Scuse me!" 

The man standing behind the counter leaned over and smiled down at him. "How can I help you today, little man?" 

"I need to see my friend!" Peter said, bouncing on his tippy toes. "Is Nat workin'?" 

The man raised an eyebrow before turning to the back one calling out, "Natasha, you've got guests!" 

"Guests, what are you--?" Natasha walked out and she stopped short when she saw Peter bouncing excitedly. 

"Hi! Nat, it's Peter! Remember me?" He was waving his hand around wildly. 

A genuine grin immediately took over her face as she came to the counter. "Of course! I missed seeing you here. No one's been buying my fruity pebble donuts." 

Peter stuck his face to the glass. "You have one for me today?" 

"Hmm, I'll see if I do. Is that all you're getting?" She looked up at Steve, her eyes growing softer. "Anything for you, Dad?" 

He shook his head, ignoring the hunger in his stomach. "No, thank you. Just the donut and a hot chocolate for him."

She hesitated only a moment before she said, "I'll be right back with it. Why don't you two sit down and I'll bring it out to you? Clint will ring you up." 

Before disappearing in the back, she turned to Clint and started...waving her hands around. Clint's eyes flickered over to Steve for a second before going back to her. 

Once she was gone, Clint turned his attention to them and must have noticed Steve's curiosity. "She was signing to me. American Sign Language." 

Steve felt like an idiot. Duh. The hearing aids in his ears should have given it away. "You're deaf?" 

"Yeah. But the cochlear implants help me hear. The signing is reserved for when we want to talk shit about people when they're right there." 

Steve just stared at him, trying to figure out if that was a joke. 

Then Clint laughed. "I'm just messing with you, man! Well, no, we actually do shit talk a lot of people with that, but that's not what she was signing then." 

Steve nodded his head, laughing just to be polite. It was really none of his business what they were signing to one another about. 

"She was really telling me how cute your butt is. And I have to say I agree." 

Steve felt his cheeks blush and Peter giggled uncontrollably next to him. He pulled what little money he had from his pockets and handed it to Clint.  He waited for his change, wishing he could afford to drop any of it into the tip jar and then ushered Peter over to a small table against the wall. 

Natasha was over to their table in no time with a large cup and a small bag. She placed the bag in front of Peter and the cup by Steve. Steve appreciated that she gave him the hot drink to check before Peter got it. He lifted it in his hands, feeling the warmth fill his palms. Selfishly, he wanted to keep it all for himself. And he would have if it were for anyone else other than Peter. 

Steve took a careful sip to test the temperature but paused. He furrowed his brow, pulling it away and looked over at Nat who was still there, watching him expectantly. 

"Everything okay?" 

"I'm sorry," Steve said because he really did hate complaining. "But, I think this is the wrong order. This is coffee not Peter's hot chocolate." 

"And this isn't the fruity pebble donut!" Peter said, holding a glazed donut in his hand. 

"Oh, did I mess up your order? How silly of me," she said, bopping Peter one the nose making him laugh. "I'll come out with the right one now." 

"Wait, don't you want this one?" Steve asked, offering the cup to her. 

"I'd just have to waste them both, so why don't you both keep them." Then she was gone to get Peter's food. 

Watching her walk away, Steve knew that it wasn't a coincidence. Nat knew what Peter ordered and she knew that wasn't what she brought over. Steve's thoughts were confirmed when she returned with the correct order less than a minute later. As if she had it ready and waiting. 

She placed it down with a smile and said, "The hot chocolate was made at kid temperature, but you can test it just to be safe."  Then she was gone, ruffling Peter's hair once before going back to work. 

Steve watched her go, almost afraid that she would come back and rip the donut and coffee away from him. He kept them both close to him just in case. 

Taking a bite of the donut had Steve's guilt and shame skyrocketing. He shouldn't be accepting these. He wasn't a charity case. He didn't want Natasha to think he needed handouts, even if he did. Natasha wasn’t necessarily a friend, but she wasn’t a stranger either. He couldn’t afford to get any closer to her because that meant that she was only closer to finding out about their situation. The coffee, though it was warming the chill in his bones and giving him the caffeine to keep him awake, and the donut, though it was making his stomach starve just a little less, were still luxuries. 

“Thank you for my donut, Papa!” Peter chirped happily as he took a big bite. “Sorry I was so mean last night.” 

“You were tired. You’re allowed to be upset sometimes. I didn’t really appreciate the attitude you gave to me though, okay? Next time you’re upset, just talk to me like a big boy. It’ll be much easier for both of us.” 

“Okay, Papa…”

Steve smiled at him. “Thank you, buddy.” He took a sip of his coffee, winching only a bit. He appreciated it, but that didn’t mean he liked coffee. He didn’t like the bitter taste of it, but with the lack of sleep he’d been getting recently, the caffeine would help him get through the day. 

“You want some of my hot coco?” Peter asked, probably seeing the face he made. 

“I’m okay, but thank you. You drink up and get warm. You’ve gotta get going to school soon.”

Peter frowned. “I don’t wanna go to school today. I wanna stay with you.” 

“You’re going to school.”  _ School has food. School is warm.  _

Peter sighed sadly. “Imma miss you, Papa.”

“Imma miss you too,” Steve said, mocking his words with a smile. Peter didn’t notice. 

“Can we do something after school together? Can you tell me stories when we get to the room?”

“I would love that, Petey.”

Peter smiled wide and went back to his donut and for once, Steve thought that they’d have one good day. Steve could get them something good to eat that wasn’t the same can of soup (even if it wasn’t in the budget) and they could have a good night together where Steve just held him and told him stories. 

Of course, that was too good to be true.

* * *

After a long day of failing at finding any jobs, he picked Peter up from school and carried him back to the motel. And on their door was a familiar sight. An eviction notice. His heart started racing as he ripped it off the door. 

“What’s wrong, Papa?” Peter asked, but Steve could barely hear him over the pounding of his heart. 

He turned on his heel, keeping Peter in his arms as he stormed to the main office. He wasn’t getting kicked out. Not again. Throwing open the front door, he stomped into the lobby and saw the manager working behind the front desk. 

He slammed the wrinkled paper on the desk. “What the hell is this?” 

“Knew you couldn’t pay your bills but guess you can’t read either, huh?” The woman narrowed her eyes. 

“You can’t just kick us out!” Steve said, ignoring the jab. 

“I’m not. That is giving you until the end of the weekend to get me the last two weeks and this week of rent or pack up your shit and move.”

“I don’t have the money to do that right now. I just lost my job and my other isn’t paying enough.” He forgot Peter was in his arms as he said all this; he usually liked to shield Peter from all of this money problems. But he didn’t feel comfortable letting him out of his arms in this place. 

“Ain’t my problem, sweet cheeks. I’ve been more than understanding. I can get money from your room and once you’re gone, I will.” 

“This is all we have. Are you really going to send us on the street? He’s four-years-old.” 

The woman glanced at Peter before turning back to Steve. “There’s a shelter for women and children down the road. You can’t stay there, but it’ll keep your poor kid off the street.” 

Steve shook his head. “I’m not just leaving my son at a shelter. We stay together.” 

“Is that really what’s best for him?” She asked. “Freezing to death in some New York alley only a few weeks before Christmas? There are places you can take him to if you can’t provide the means to take care of him.” 

Steve held Peter so tight he heard his son let out a whimper. “Don’t.” 

“Look. I know you love the kid, but look at what life you’ve got him living. I can tell you there are dozens of rich and happy families looking for little ones like him to take in. They could not only spoil him rotten but actually give him a stable life.” 

Steve wasn’t a crier, but he felt his eyes burning. 

“He’s only a baby. He don’t deserve this. You’re being a shit father by keeping him from being happy and safe. He’s young...he’ll grow up and he won’t even remember this or you. He would grow up with parents that love him just as much as you do and he’d be safe. Isn’t that what any parent wants for their kid?” 

Steve couldn’t listen to this anymore. He took a step back, squeezing Peter so tight. “You have no right to say that. No one, not another single soul on this Earth, will ever love him as much as I do. And I don’t care if it’s selfish, but I’m not going to give him up.” 

“Then work something out where you only have to hand him over until you’ve got a house and a stable job. I mean, that’s actually mandatory for any parent that winds up in the street. I’m only telling you what I’ve seen from people in situations like yours. I seen them come through here. It’s hard on them, but to know their child is fed, that makes it all worth it."

Steve still didn’t loosen his grip on Peter as he continued to walk back towards the door. “We’ll be out of your hair by tomorrow night so don’t worry about it.” 

“Think about it!” She called after him before the door shut behind them as he ran out of the lobby. 

He felt his heart two beats from beating out of his chest as he gripped Peter so tight that not even the devil himself could have pulled him out of his arms. He got them back into their room and slammed the door behind them, locking it shut. He drew the blinds so no one could see in either. He still felt too exposed. Someone was watching. They were watching him fail Peter as a father and they were going to come in and steal him. They were going to take him away and give him to a family that could actually take care of him. 

He fell to the ground on the other side of the bed so that they couldn’t see him from the window. 

“Papa,” he heard Peter whimper. 

“Shush, Peter. They’re going to hear you.” Steve couldn’t let Peter go. He couldn’t lose him. 

“Papa, please. You’re hurting me.” 

That finally got Steve out of his panic. He let his rock hard grip loosen and pulled Peter away from his chest. Peter tilted his head, looking up at him with watery eyes. “Papa, why were you squeezing me so hard?”

“I’m sorry, Peter. God,” he whispered, unable to believe he had hurt Peter. “I didn’t mean to. I’m so sorry.” 

Peter took a few deep breaths to regulate his breathing again before he said, “S'okay...you just scared me.” 

“Yeah,” Steve said; his voice was empty. “I am too.”

Peter stood on his lap to look him in the eyes and cup his cheeks with his tiny hands. “Don’t be scared, Papa. We’re gonna be okay because we’re ‘gether. ‘Member what you told me?” 

Steve leaned forward until their foreheads were touching and he closed his eyes. “No one is separating us.”

“You’re not gonna give me ‘way?” He asked, his voice actually sounded shocked. 

“Of course I’m not going to give you away, Peter,” Steve said sternly. “You’re my baby to keep. No one could ever take you away from me and surely, no one could ever convince me to give you up.”

“Promise?” Peter asked. 

“Yes. I promise with all my heart.” 

And if Steve could only keep one promise, it was going to be this one. 

* * *

Steve woke up the next morning with Peter still in his arms and he didn’t even think to let him go. He got up, Peter still sound asleep against his chest and started getting ready for school. He got Peter's clothes laid out and ready to change into. “Hey, bud, rise and shine.” 

Unlike usual mornings, Peter woke up pretty much right away. He picked his head off of Steve’s chest and looked around the room. This was not a height or view he was used to. Especially first thing in the morning. “Papa, you holdin’ me?”

Steve pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “Sure am, bud. Ready to eat?”  Peter nodded his head, ready to get down, but Steve held him tighter. “Do you mind just letting me hold you please?”

Peter smiled, never one to argue being held. “Okay, Papa!”

“Thank you, baby.” Steve smiled.  _ Good luck taking him away when he never leaves my arms.  _

The only time he did leave Steve’s arms was to use the bathroom and get dressed and after that, he was jumping right back into his arms. Steve held him close, walking him down to the cafe. They had some time before Peter had to be in school and he could afford to spoil him with another donut. 

When they got inside and ordered their usual: fruity pebble donut and hot chocolate, Natasha gave them a strange look. “What? Did you two superglue yourselves to each other?”

“Feels like it,” Steve said, smiling because he didn’t mind. He usually complained to Peter when he always wanted to be carried everywhere, but right now, the pain in his arms was barely noticeable. 

Natasha gave him a curious look before handing him their hot coco and donut. Peter held onto the donut since Steve only had one hand to hold the hot drink. 

They sat at their usual table but only used one of the chairs. Peter was happy to stay in Steve’s lap to eat and Steve liked having him there just in case someone tried to take him away. 

Natasha came over a few minutes later with a plate of pastries and small cups of coffee. “We’re sampling some of our new products today, would either of you care for any?” She asked, lowering the plate to them.

Peter turned around to look at Steve. “Papa, can I try?”

He already had a sugary treat in his hand, but Steve wasn’t going to deny him food when it came around. So, he nodded his head and Peter grabbed one off of the tray. Natasha didn’t move. 

“Your turn, Dad,” she said. “I’m sure we’ve got something you like here.” 

“Papa likes tea,” Peter said over a mouthful of the chocolate croissant he took. 

“Noted,” Natasha said. “But how about what I’ve got? Can you pick something to eat to go along with his coffee?” She asked, picking up a cup and placing it on the table in front of Steve. 

Peter took the task very seriously as he studied the food in front of him before he decided on the biggest thing on the tray. “He needs to have a full belly,” he said. 

“I agree, little man,” she said, nodding her head. “So, Mr. Stubborn, are you okay with that cheese danish?” 

Funny thing about starving was that he was fine with anything. 

“Sounds delicious,” he said, mouth already watering. 

Natasha smiled at him before walking away and leaving them to eat. 

Once alone, Steve directed his attention back to the cafe and all of the people surrounding them. Anyone here could be waiting to snatch Peter from his arms. Too bad they didn’t know that Steve wasn’t just going to roll over and let him go. He’d fight anyone that tried to take him away. Maybe some people thought it was selfish of him to keep Peter instead of giving him to a family that could care for him, but Steve knew that wasn’t entirely true. Peter needed Steve just as much as Steve needed him. They needed each other. 

“Enjoying your donut, Petey?”

“Yeah!” Peter said happily. “You too?”

Steve took a bite of his cheese danish and nodded his head. “You bet, kiddo.” 

Peter finished eating his breakfast so they could get to school on time, but before he was done with the donut, Natasha was sliding into the chair across from them. Steve was caught off guard by her and wrapped both arms around Peter, only lowering them when he recognized her as not a threat. 

“What’s up?” She asked, accusation in her voice. 

“What are you talking about?” Steve asked. 

“You’re acting strange. I know we barely know each other, but I’m very good at observing people. You haven’t let Peter out of your arms and you’re very jumpy. You hiding from someone? Is someone after you? Because I can--.” 

“No one is after us,” Steve said, hoping he was right even though he didn’t feel safe in that answer.

“Then what’s wrong? You don’t always have to be so sketch when you come in here, you know.” Natasha said, her voice was low and her eyes were soft. 

Before Steve could say anything to get her to leave, Peter opened up his big mouth.  “Papa lost his job and he’s trying to find a new one, so he’s always sleepy and I never see him.” 

Steve’s eyes went as wide as saucers. He had to be dreaming. There was no way Peter just told all of that to Natasha. But he blinked his eyes and when he opened them, Natasha was still there. Her expression didn’t change, but she didn’t say a word. Steve didn’t know what to say either. 

Finally, she spoke. “You’re looking for a job?”

“I have one. I just lost another one that I had in the morning while Peter was at school. I was late too much after dropping him off--.” 

“We’re looking for someone here,” she said. 

Steve couldn’t believe his ears. “What?”

“There’s an opening. We need someone in the mornings. Would you be interested?” Natasha asked. 

Steve wanted to say yes badly. He was desperate. “I don’t have any experience in being a barista.”

“Everyone starts with nothing at one point. That’s what training is for.” Natasha shrugged her shoulders. “Minimum wage plus tips. We’re very lenient with hours. Whenever is good for you and Peter.”

“Are you serious?” He asked hesitantly, afraid that she would take her offer back. 

“If that other job is stopping you, we’ll match their salary. We’ll go over it.” 

Steve could cry. “Why are you doing this?”

“My favorite customers need some help and I can help them. Why not?”

“Don’t you have to speak to a boss or take my resume and interview me?”

She scoffed. “Please, it may not be my name up there, but I’m just as much of a boss as the owner is. This is my cafe and I want you here.” 

He shot his hand out to shake her hand even though she wasn’t expecting a handshake. She took it and he shook it furiously. “Thank you so much. This means a lot.” 

She smiled. “How soon can you start?”

“Tomorrow,” he said breathlessly. “I can start tomorrow.”

“Great. Training starts whenever you get here. I look forward to it.” She winked once before she was getting up from the table and walking away. 

“I’m sorry, Papa. I know you say it’s secret, but she doesn’t know about our home and she’s our friend. She was worried and--.”

Steve twisted Peter around his hold so he could face him. “Do not apologize, Peter. Thank you. Thank you.” He hugged him close to his chest, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “This is it, bud. It’s a start. We’re getting closer.”

* * *

"Sorry, I'm so late," Steve said once he finally got to work. He ran from Peter's school back to the cafe just to get there on time. He was still 10 minutes late. 

"Hey," Natasha put a hand on his arm and she sounded completely genuine. "Take a breath. You're not late. Unlike any other job you've had, we know you're a human being. You do as best as you can."

Steve shook his head. Natasha was putting her neck out there, giving him a job; he didn't want to make a bad impression on the first day on the job. "I'll be on time. I promise." 

"Whenever you can get here is on time. Next time bring the little guy." 

"I really don't have time to get him here, eat, and then get him all the way to school and get back." Steve wished he could have Peter by his side for his donut every day, but there was no way for that to happen. 

"Bring him for breakfast next time. Then you can drop him off at school and come back to work." 

Steve chewed on his lip, doing the math in his head. That was at least an hour of pay. 

Natasha seemed to read his mind as she continued, "As long as you bring a delivery with you, we can keep you on the clock. Bring him here, clock in and work for a bit and when he's ready, bring a delivery out with you and take your time coming back." 

Steve's eyes widened, but Natasha wasn't done yet. 

"We open at 5. You can come as early as you want and stay as late as you want. We're always looking for help. Especially when Clint is here. It takes an extra 2 of us to clean up after his messes." 

Steve smiled, feeling himself relax for the first time since he had to pull Peter from where he was sleeping soundly on his chest this morning. Not only was Natasha giving him a great job with great hours, but she was being more than understanding of Peter. 

And not only was the job great but so were the people. They were friendly and fun and cared about one another. Not like any other job he'd had. 

* * *

"I'm going to be sticking with you your first shift or two so that you're comfortable and know how to make all the drinks you're asked for," Natasha explained. 

Steve nodded his head, tightening the apron around his waist. He had zero experience in being a barista, but he doubted it would be too bad. He'd adapted to a lot of different jobs already. 

"We're not as bad as Starbucks with all their craziness, but we do offer more than just a regular coffee. The recipe cards on the counter are there if you need them. Before long, you won't even need to pick them up, but don't be afraid to use them when necessary." 

Steve nodded his head again. "Got it. Can't be too hard." 

She grinned. "I guess you'll find out soon, big guy." 

"The only drink I've ever made was hot chocolate from a packet for Peter. I don't know how to do anything else." 

Natasha patted his arm and said, "Don't worry. We'll start off easy."

 

Easy was learning to make coffees and teas for the customers that came in. The number of espresso shots in the different sizes of lattes and cappuccinos would take some time memorizing, but he would get it down. 

Someone ordered a drink and when Steve went to hand him his change, the man shook his head and said. "You keep it." 

He walked away to wait for his drink and Steve glanced over at Natasha, not sure what to do with the tips people left. 

"That's all yours," she said. 

Steve's eyes widened. "What?" 

"When someone hands you a tip or says it's yours, take it. Other tips go in the tip jar and we split that at the end of the shift." 

Steve looked down at the dollar and change in his hand. For that man, it was literally pocket change, but to Steve, that was so much more. He carefully pocketed it, making sure it was tucked in safely where it wouldn't fall out before continuing. 

After that, Steve was much more antsy to get more customers. And when he did, he made sure he was incredibly polite and the best he could so they were more inclined to leave their change. Most of it went right into the tip jar, but that was still something. It was only Natasha and Steve working that morning, so that meant they only had to split it two ways. 

This was more money in his pocket and more money in his pocket meant more money for Peter. It was all for Peter. Everything Steve did was for Peter. 

There wasn’t anything too out of the ordinary for Steve to handle until a few hours into his shift. Natasha was still close by, but stepping back a bit to give Steve a chance to handle things on his own. He didn’t feel as confident as he would have liked, especially when a man that was wearing a suit that was probably worth more than all the money Steve had ever earned in his life combined came walking up to the counter with another man at his side. 

The man in the expensive suit was obviously in charge as he walked with a swagger than only the rich and confident could ever seem to muster. His hair was gelled back, there were still a pair of sunglasses covering his eyes, and his facial hair was impeccably trimmed into a perfect goatee. 

The man walking beside him didn’t look like he was on the same mission that his friend’s strides showed. He was walking alongside him, not looking very pleased with anything. He was grumbling something, but Steve couldn’t hear what he was saying. 

When they reached the counter, the man in the sunglasses shushed him. “We’ll take a large black coffee and a doppio. My intern here will have a large caramel macchiato.” 

“I am  _ not  _ his intern,” the man immediately argued.

“Alright, fine. One large caramel macchiato for Mr. Grumps.” 

“Extra caramel please,” the man added. 

Steve nodded his head even though he had no idea what was going on. “Um--,” he paused for a moment before asking, “What’s a doppio?”

“Are you new here?” He asked, taking his sunglasses off. Before Steve could answer, the man made a big deal of looking him up and down. “Oh, you definitely are.” 

Steve suddenly felt self-conscious, standing there in front of them. He had no idea what he was doing here and that was painfully obvious. “I’m sorry, sir. It’s only my first day…”

The man turned to where Nat was standing on the other side of the counter. “You let just anyone back here, Nat?”

“Go easy on him, Stark. He’s learning.” Nat didn’t move from her spot, so Steve guessed that she was friendly enough with this man not to worry about the order being messed up by him. 

“If you let me back there, I’m sure I could teach him a few things.” He leaned on the counter, smirking at Steve. 

Steve stayed frozen in his spot. He still had no idea what the hell a doppio was. 

“Quit it, Cassanova, or we’re never gonna get our drinks.” The other man grumbled, looking frustrated and Steve immediately wanted to get back to work. Unhappy customers meant no tip.

“Calm down there, Hap. You’re getting your diabetes-inducing cup of syrup soon.”

Steve grabbed two large cups and marked one for a coffee and one for the caramel macchiato. The doppio left him lost. There wasn’t even a size to grab. “Not knowing what a doppio is is kinda leaving me feeling like a  _ dope io.”  _

He heard Natasha groan at his pun, but the man across from him actually laughed. “Dopeio. That’s a good one.”

“Thank you, sir.” Being friendly, being polite, and being funny were great ways to get tips. 

“A doppio is two shots of espresso. That’s it,” the other man said, sounding tired of waiting. 

Steve nodded his head, storing that information for later. “Got it,” he said, scribbling his name on a small cup. “And can I have a name for the order?”

The man with the goatee finally gave him a name. “Tony.” 

Steve smiled at him, ready to get these three drinks done. “I’ll have those right out for you, Tony.” 

“Take your time, blue eyes.” 

Steve couldn’t afford to take his time. The quicker he made drinks, the more customers he served before his break and the more chances at tips he got. He got the espresso machine ready for the two shots-- the doppio and filled the cup with coffee. Then he got to work on the caramel macchiato and made the layered drink with the utmost care. 

When he started to put the three cups into a tray, Tony spoke up and said, “No need. I’ll finish that now.” 

Steve carried the doppio over and Tony took it, immediately downing the two shots without hesitation. Steve couldn’t help but make a face. He could barely stand his coffee without cream and sugar; he couldn’t imagine drinking straight-up espresso. 

“He’s weird,” the man next to Tony said. “He basically runs on caffeine and nothing else.” 

“I keep this place in business,” Tony said in a joking tone, but Steve didn’t doubt that he could. 

“Alright, Stark, stop holding up our line and pay,” Nat said as Steve handed the two drinks over. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Tony said, pulling out his wallet and handing over a bill that was more than large enough to cover the charge. “Keep the change.”

Steve watched him walk away, putting the sunglasses back on his face as he walked out of the cafe. He waited for the door to shut behind them before staring down at the twenty-dollar bill in his hand. 

“Wow, I can’t believe it,” Nat said, sounding like she was just behind him. 

Steve continued to stare at the bill in his hand. “I know. Who the hell leaves a fifteen dollar tip?” 

“What?” Nat asked, sounding confused. “Not the tip. He was totally flirting with you.”

“What?” Steve scoffed, making change of the twenty and pocketing the rest. “He wasn’t flirting.”

“Are you kidding? Tony Stark took off his sunglasses. He never does that for anyone.” 

“So?”

Natasha rolled her eyes.  “ So,  he took them off for  _ you.” _

Steve hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary about Tony, especially not him taking off sunglasses when he was inside. “He wasn’t flirting and if he was, I’m not interested anyway.”

Natasha stared at him for a moment before asking, “You straight?”

“Not that that’s anyone’s business but my own, but I’m bisexual. I just mean that I’m not looking for anything right now. I’ve got a kid to raise.” Steve turned back to the line of customers he had waiting. 

“Okay, but he’s  _ Tony Stark.  _ You’re gonna pass up on him?” Natasha raised her eyebrows as if this Tony man was such an irresistible catch. Granted, he was probably the most gorgeous person Steve had ever seen, but that wasn’t enough to start anything with. Not even if he wasn’t living on the streets. He liked a person that wasn’t, well, as arrogant as Tony seemed. 

“One medium latte,” Steve said, putting an end to this conversation as he handed her the marked cup. 

“You think this is over, Rogers, but Tony is not a man that gives up easily. You’ll see.” 

* * *

Steve did, in fact, see. 

The next day, after Steve had dropped Peter at school (after their morning breakfast of course), and ran his morning deliveries, he came back to work at the cash register. He was barely working for thirty minutes when the bell rang above the open door and Steve saw Tony walking inside with his head held high, sunglasses still on his face. 

He waited until he was just in front of him before he pulled them off and gave him that same smirk he had yesterday. Steve wondered how many people had gotten that same smile in the past week. Probably more than Steve could count. 

He felt terrible for making an assumption like that, but he had the look of any rich bachelor in New York with a little freedom. He got away with whatever he wanted to because he could. 

“Good morning, blue eyes.”

“Steve,” Steve corrected him. 

“Hm?” 

“My name is Steve.” 

The smirk only grew as he spoke in a low voice, “Steve? That’s a name I would love to moan later tonight.”

Steve felt his cheeks burn in humiliation. “Wow, you really are blunt, aren't you?”

That didn’t seem to knock Tony off his game. “Well, what can I say? I’m attractive, you’re attractive. I love coffee, you make coffee. We were meant to be.” 

“So, is that how soulmates work?” Steve raised an eyebrow as he pulled a large cup from the stack next to him. 

“Not sure,” Tony said with a shrug of his shoulders. “Didn’t believe in soulmates until I first laid my eyes on you.” 

Steve clenched his jaw as he raised the marker to the cup. “Same as yesterday, sir?”

“You already remembered my order? That’s sweet.” 

“It’s a black coffee,” Steve deadpanned. “I think that even I can handle that order.” 

“Don’t forget my doppio.”

Steve frowned. “Do you really have two shots of espresso before your coffee every morning?”

“I need my caffeine, Steve. My job does not allow any time for exhaustion.” 

“Maybe just try to get a good night’s rest,” he suggested as he started getting his drinks ready. “It’s a more healthier option.” 

“Thanks, Dr. Phil, but sleep isn’t as fun as drinking your weight in caffeine.” Tony winked as he once again swallowed the shots in one gulp. 

“Can I get you anything with that? Any pastries?”

Tony’s eyes scanned the glass case of baked goods and said, “Uh, yeah, why not...wrap up a few croissants. I’ll let people at the tower fight over them.” 

Steve handed him his order, accepted the payment and once again, accepted the overly generous tip. Before Tony stepped away, he smiled at Steve and said, “I’ll see you tomorrow, handsome.” 

Steve smiled to be nice and polite but when Tony was facing the other way with his sunglasses back on, the smile was gone. “He’s stubborn,” Steve said to Natasha who was standing next to him. 

“Yeah, Tony usually gets exactly what he wants.” 

Steve raised his eyebrows with a scoff. “Well, then I’m gonna be the first person to tell him no.” 

Natasha laughed. "We’ll see about that. I’ve got my money on Stark.” 

Steve shook his head. “When I find someone I want to be with, the first requirement is for them to be good for Peter. And Tony Stark does not pass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys steve is a fool. he'll be head over heels for tony in no time


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may notice this now has a set number of chapters....but I already changed something I planned out towards the end so I have to revisit that and it may or may not change. 
> 
> Another long chapter....I plan way too much in these chapters I think. As a reader, I like longer chapters, but please let me know if you feel the same or would rather it broken up. idk

“Come on, Pete,” Steve said as he held open the door to the 24-hour laundromat. Peter was walking a foot behind him, holding Elliot in one hand and sucking his thumb on the other. He was barely able to keep his eyes open. 

“Papa, why did we leave the room?” He asked, followed by a yawn. 

“We can’t stay there anymore,” Steve answered, holding out his hand so Peter could come and grab it. “We’re on the next step to our adventure.” 

“This is a long ‘venture. I’m tired,” Peter whined as he continued to suck on his thumb. 

“I know, baby. We’re gonna finish soon. I promise you,” Steve said, wiggling his fingers before Peter finally pulled his thumb out of his mouth and grabbed his hand. At one point, Steve made a face whenever Peter touched him with sticky or wet hands. Now, as he felt Peter’s wet thumb squeeze onto his finger, he smiled. 

“What are we gonna do here?” Peter asked, looking around with wide eyes.

“Remember your science shirt? And all the other clothes you’re not very good at keeping clean?” He asked, letting the door shut behind them. He looked around, glad to see they were the only ones in there now. 

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, we’re gonna throw them all in one of these machines and clean them up.” Steve put his backpack on the table. Now all he carried was one suitcase, a backpack, and Peter had his bag. They had to leave some stuff behind at the motel, but it wasn’t anything too important. They could get by with what they had. They didn't really have a choice. 

Peter tugged on Steve’s pants, wanting to be picked up. Steve lifted him up but dropped him in a nearby rolling basket for clothes instead of holding him. “Sorry, bud, this is gonna be a two-handed job.” 

Peter reached his empty arm over to him and made a beseeching motion with fingers. “Papa, hold me.” 

“If you wait for Papa to get this done, I’ll push you around in that. It’ll be like a ride.” 

“Cone Island!” Peter yelled, clapping his hands together excitedly. 

“Yeah, kiddo, just like Coney Island,” Steve said, his voice growing somber. Peter had been to Coney Island once for Harry’s birthday party over the summer and he had fallen in love with all the fun. He hadn’t been old enough to go on any of the rides, but he asked Steve if they could come back when he was tall enough. And Steve promised him they would, hoping that he would either forget about it or he’d have the money to waste on a theme park one day.

“Okay!” He sat there, smiling up at Steve, waiting for him to get started. 

Steve smiled back at him before unzipping the backpack and loading the machine full of their underwear and the dirtiest clothes they had. He didn’t have a lot to spare on this, but they needed to clean their clothes at least every two weeks or so. 

He turned to look at Peter and noticed something else getting a little dirty. “Hey, Pete...does Elliot want a bath?”

Peter wrapped both of his arms tightly around him. “You want to put him in there?”

“It’ll be fun,” Steve said, hoping he’d listen because that thing was starting to smell. 

“But what if he gets scared?” Peter asked, not loosening his hold on Elliot. 

“He won’t get scared,” Steve said. “Elephants love the water.” 

“Effies love water?”

“They sure do,” Steve said, holding his arm out to take Elliot. 

“What if he gets scared?” Peter asked, still not quite ready to let go of Elliot. 

“If he gets scared, then I’ll open the door and get him out,” Steve promised, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to do that. But he also knew that as long as Peter believed Elliot was safe then he was. 

“Okay,” Peter said hesitantly. He looked down at Elliot and said, “You’re gonna have so much fun! You’re so brave,” he whispered, kissing the top of Elliot’s head. Then he handed him over to Steve. 

Steve smiled at him and then stuck him inside the washing machine with everything else. Peter’s eyes never left Elliot, even when the water started running and Elliot was spinning in there amongst everything else. 

“Papa!” Peter shouted. “Is he gonna be dizzy?”

“Not one bit, baby,” Steve said. “He’s having a great time.” 

Peter relaxed as he nodded his head. “Good. I just want him happy.” 

“You sure are careful of Elliot, huh, bud?” Steve asked, lifting him out of the cart to sit him on his hip. 

Nodding very seriously, Peter said, “Of course, Papa. He’s my baby and I’m his Papa.” 

Steve’s heart melted at that and he smiled at Peter. “Us Papas have to protect our babies.” 

Peter hugged Steve tighter. “Yes, we do.” 

“Well, you don’t have to worry one bit. Your baby is having a great time. Look! He’s swimming underwater!” Steve said excitedly, trying to distract Peter. 

Peter’s eyes widened and then after a second of him watching the washing machine, he giggled. Steve’s shoulder relaxed when he heard that. It was hard to keep Peter happy lately. Especially now that they lost their room and were going to be camped out who the hell knew where. 

“Papa, down please,” Peter said, kicking his legs. Steve placed him down and Peter ran over to the washer and pressed his face to it. 

“No face against that, bud. It’s dirty,” Steve warned and Peter listened but got as close as he still could. 

“Go, Ellie!” Peter cheered, laughing as he did flips in the water. 

Steve watched Peter, hating that he couldn’t take him home to a warm bed after this. It was late and Steve had no idea where else he could go. His eyes flickered to the neon light flickering in the window that read:  _ 24/7.  _

This wasn’t a permanent solution, but it was four walls and a roof. It was warmth. As long as Steve got Peter to fall asleep, he could hold him through the night. If anyone came in to yell at them, Steve could lie and say they had just fallen asleep waiting for their clothes. 

“Hey, Peter,” Steve said after he debated whether he was telling Peter or not. In the end, he decided he would because his boy wasn’t dumb. For a four-year-old, he was a bright kid. Sometimes, Steve thought he was smarter than him. He probably was. 

“Yeah, Papa?”

“Can you sit on my lap? I wanna talk to you for a second.” Steve took a seat behind Peter and he turned around, walking over slowly. 

“You ‘kay, Papa?”

Steve took him under the arms and then lifted him into his lap. “I’m okay, baby, but there’s something I want to talk to you about.” 

“Okay,” he said, nodding his head. 

“You know how we packed up and left the motel?”

“Yeah…” 

“Well, we’re not staying there anymore,” Steve said, watching Peter’s face for a reaction. “I’m not sure where we’re going to go, but we’re gonna be jumping from one place to the next. And I know it’s gonna be rough,” he had to pause to swallow a lump in his throat when he thought about his next words, “because we’re not always gonna be warm or have a bed or even a room, but can you be brave for me? Just a little bit longer.” 

Peter’s eyes started to well up with tears and he went to go wipe them, but Steve grabbed his hands. “I’m sorry, Papa.” 

“What’re you sorry for, baby?” Steve asked. 

“I lost our room,” he sniffled. “I wished on the stars that we could leave that room. And now we’re gone.” 

Steve pulled Peter against his chest and rubbed his back soothingly. “Oh, Petey, it’s not your fault. _None_ of this is your fault. Papa couldn’t get enough to keep us there. That’s not your fault. Not at all.” 

“Please don’t be mad at me,” Peter said, wiping his face on Steve’s shirt. “I don’t wanna sleep alone.” 

Steve pulled him back again so he could see his face and he smiled, as best as he could. “Look at this smile on my face,” Steve said. “Does it look like I’m mad?”

“...no.” 

“I could  _ never  _ be mad at my baby bear,” Steve leaned over and kissed his forehead. 

“Not mad?” Peter asked, rubbing at his snotty nose before wiping his hands on Steve’s pants. 

“Not mad.” 

Peter sighed heavily and fell against Steve’s chest, wrapping his arms around him as best as he could. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, sweetie.” 

 

After he calmed down, Peter was back to watching the washing machine vigilantly. Elliot was a jack of all trades it seemed: one minute he was looking for buried treasure, then he was flying like a superhero, and then he was floating in space.  When he went into the dryer and Peter couldn’t see him anymore, he started to settle down. But he didn’t dare let his eyes stay closed longer than a blink until the dryer was beeping and Steve had Elliot pulled out and in Peter’s arms again. 

Peter hummed happily when he hugged him close. “He’s so warm.” 

Steve noted as well that all of their clothes were so warm. He wanted to throw them to the ground and let Peter bury himself in them. He’d have to remember this when they were out of the streets and cold. A quick load in the dryer could make their clothes hot for a few minutes at least. 

“You think he’s warm? Just wait.” Then Steve grabbed the blanket that was in the bottom of the dryer and wrapped it around Peter. Peter cuddled himself up in it, closing his eyes. 

“This is nice.” 

Steve smiled as he finished packing their clothes in his backpack. Once their clothes were all away, he sat down and again and lifted Peter in his arms. He cradled him in his arms, once again thankful for both Peter being a tiny kid and for him being muscled enough to hold Peter in his arms like this. “You comfy?” 

“Yes, Papa,” Peter mumbled around the thumb in his mouth, his eyes already drifting shut. 

“Good, my baby,” he whispered, rocking him in his arms gently until he heard his breathing even out into soft snores. 

Steve, however, didn’t let his eyes fall shut once. He stayed awake, watching the door for anyone. Just in case. He was still awake the next morning when the sun came up and it was time to wake Peter up for school. 

Getting him awake when he was only sleeping in a blanket on Steve’s lap wasn’t nearly as difficult as it was to get him out of a bed. They went over to the bathroom in the corner to brush their teeth and comb Peter’s bedhead. 

“I will I could tell Harry ‘bout this,” he said after spitting his toothpaste into the sink. “I want him to know how brave Ellie was last night.” 

Steve paused. “I’ll make you a deal, kiddo. You keep it a secret where we went, then you can tell him about the washer and how brave Elliot was.” 

“Really?” Peter asked, perking up. 

“Yup. But remember: nothing else other than the washer, okay?”

“Deal!” Peter said, raising his hand with his extended pinky. Steve linked his pinky with Peter’s tiny one and smiled. 

* * *

 

He carried him to the cafe and once inside, Peter ran up to the counter excitedly. This was starting to feel like the only home they had. Steve followed him behind, waving at Nat timidly. She rolled her eyes and huffed. “Go clock in, Rogers. How many times do I have to tell you?” 

Steve felt bad clocking in this early when he wasn’t really doing work, but he appreciated it. 

Peter got his donut and chocolate milk and Steve sat with him as he munched on it, happily. Elliot was sitting next to him and Peter was having a long conversation with him. Steve wasn’t paying too much attention to what they were saying, but he was happy enough just to watch Peter. 

When it came time for Peter to head to school, Natasha gave Steve a box of donuts to deliver and he headed out. When Miss Hill questioned the donuts, Steve laughed it off and said he was surprising some people at work. She bought it, but he knew he couldn’t do that every day. He’d have to deliver the donuts first. 

Before leaving him there, Steve held Peter close and promised, “I’ll be here regular time.” 

“But...work,” Peter said with wide eyes. 

“I’m quitting the other place. I can get more hours with Nat. But I want more of them with you.” 

Peter’s smile was the widest it had been since they got kicked onto the street and he wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck. “I’ll see you soon, Papa.” 

“I’ll see you soon, Petey.” 

 

He made it back to work not long after he dropped off the donuts. He was grateful to get back inside. He didn’t like having to go outside for extra time to make the delivery, but if it got him extra time with Peter then he would do it. 

Just as he had his apron tied around him and he was signed into his register, just like clockwork, Tony came strutting up to the counter. He smiled and the glasses came off. “G’morning, blue eyes.” 

“Good morning, sir,” Steve said, remaining polite because while he did nothing but flirt whenever he came, he also left heft tips each time. If he kept that up, maybe Steve would be able to save up for a Christmas gift for Peter. “The usual?”

“You bet,” Tony said. “Add in a Boston creme while you’re at it.” 

Steve got his two drinks (coffee and that damned espresso) and his donut ready in only a few moments. Tony took a bite of the donut right after his espresso and left behind a smudge of chocolate on his upper lip. 

Motioning to his own lip, Steve said, “You’ve got some chocolate.” 

Tony leaned forward with his eyebrows raised cooly. “You wanna lick it off?”

Before Steve could reply that  _ no, he really didn’t,  _ Natasha was cutting in. “Do you mind not flirting with my workers here for two seconds, Stark?”

“I can’t help it that they’re so pretty,” Tony replied, sipping on his coffee. Steve felt his cheeks blush. 

Natasha wasn’t as impressed, or at least, she didn’t show it. “Take your coffee and get outta here.” 

He waved her off before turning to Steve and promising, just like every day, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Then he was gone, Steve watching his ass the entire way out.  

“Yeah, he’s got a great bubble butt,” Natasha whispered in his ear once Tony was out of the cafe and on the city street outside. 

Steve snapped his eyes away from where he was staring but couldn’t bring himself to look Natasha in the eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Oh, don’t be such a prude. I know you were staring. God knows I do.” 

“I wasn’t staring,” Steve denied, even though he knew he was caught. 

“Oh, you definitely were. Drooling a bit there too.” 

Steve’s eyes flickered over to Natasha. “No, I wasn’t.” 

She laughed. “Okay, it wasn’t that bad, but seriously. He’s hooked on you, you’re hooked on him. Why not give it a chance?” 

“I know men like him,” Steve said. “I can’t afford to be just a notch on his belt. I’ve got a kid.” 

“He’s not as bad as he seems, you know,” Natasha said. “He plays the role of a playboy real well, but underneath that Tom Ford and cocky attitude, he’s got a heart that’s big enough for both you and Peter.” 

_ I don’t even have a home to bring him home too.  _

“I can’t, Nat.” 

She sighed, seemingly giving up the conversation for now. “Okay. Fine. But, make sure you think about it. That man does not chase after anyone. And he’s chasing after you.” 

_ And he can do so much better.  _

“Noted. Trust me,” Steve said. 

“Okay, then I'll stop bothering you and let you get back to work.” 

“Thank you,” he said, watching her take a step to the side so he could take another order and practice his barista skills. 

 

He worked diligently until it was time to head out and pick up Peter from school. Nat let him stay clocked in and gave him another delivery. He dropped that off before picking Peter up at the school. Finally, regular time. 

He got to watch all of the kids rush out of school and run to their parents. Peter was gonna get his turn today. Steve stood to the side, watching the door, waiting for Peter’s little head of curls to come out through the crowd. He was tinier than most of the kids in his class, but Steve wouldn’t be able to miss those curls. 

He was one of the last kids out and the minute he got out, he was looking around wildly for Steve. Steve waved over to him. “Hey, Petey, over here!” He could have gone over there and lifted him right up, but Steve loved the feeling of Peter running into his legs. 

So he stayed put and Peter came running to him as fast as his little legs could let him go. He didn’t slow down before getting to Steve; he just let himself crash into his legs at full speed. Steve laughed and picked up. “Hey, buddy, how was school?”

“Papa!” Peter said, unable to focus on the question. 

“Hello, Peter,” Steve said, amused at Peter’s excitement. 

“You’re here!” 

“Yes, I am.” Steve pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You ready to go?” 

Peter nodded his head. “Where we goin’?” 

“Back to the cafe. Papa has to finish up working. I know you don’t like me working, but it comes us someplace warm while I get paid.” 

This didn’t seem to bother Peter. “I can see you?”

“Yeah, buddy. You can grab a little table by the counter and do your homework or--.”

“Write my ‘venture book?”

“Yeah, buddy,” Steve laughed. “You can write your adventure book.” 

 

While they were walking back, Peter decided to walk back to the cafe. Steve was a little grateful for that because his night of no sleep was catching up to him and he could barely hold himself up, let alone carry Peter too. The cold air was helping to keep him awake as well. 

When they finally got to the cafe, Peter came over to the counter and waved hello to Natasha over the counter. “Hey, Nat!” 

She smiled brightly as she looked down at him over the counter. “Hey, Pete! You have fun at school?”

“Uh-huh!” 

“You want an afterschool snack?” She asked, eyeing him with a grin. 

Peter turned around to look at Steve, but before Steve could respond, she said, “Hey, I’m offering you this. Not Dad. You hungry, little man?”

“Little bit,” he answered.

She leaned down and grabbed a muffin from the glass case. She handed it over to Peter with a smile. “THere you go.” 

He held it with his two hands and smiled down at it. He grinned at Nat. “Thank you!”

“You’re very welcome,” she said. “Now go over there and do your homework while Dad is working.” 

“I’m writin’ my book!” He announced jumping in excitement a little bit. 

Natasha only smiled more. “That sounds awesome. You go have fun. Your table is right over there with your name on it.” 

Steve turned around and sure enough, there was a table with a small piece of paper that said  _ Reserved for Peter  _ on it. He turned back to Natasha with a smile. “You didn’t have to do that.” 

“Figured the kid would get a kick out of it.” She shrugged her shoulders. 

Peter did, as he giggled and ran over to the table, immediately putting his backpack on a chair and unzipping it. He pulled Elliot out and showed him his name before setting him down next to him. Turning to Steve, he said, “I’m gonna be right here, Papa!” 

“Sounds good, bear,” Steve said as he made his way back behind the counter. 

“Thank you,” he said to Natasha when he got close enough to whisper. “Thank you for everything.” 

“Don’t thank me for being a good human being.” Natasha swatted him with a rag. “Now get to work.” 

Steve smiled and did so until Peter looked to be getting tired over at his table. His muffin was long gone and between each word he wrote, he seemed to be yawning. He didn’t want to clock out because that meant they had to leave and leaving meant no more money and no more warmth. But he couldn’t let Peter pass out at the table. 

“Hey, Nat, I think I better get the little rascal and head out now.” He nodded his head to where Peter was writing with one hand and suck his thumb with the other. 

Natasha smiled over at him. “Okay, you two have a good night. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“See you tomorrow, Nat,” he said before he walked over to Peter. He snuck up behind him and lifted him right out of his chair. 

Peter giggled as he was lifted in the air and craned his head to glance at Steve. “Hi, Papa!” 

“How is my little buddy doing?” Steve asked, turning him arond so he was facing him now. 

Peter kicked his feet as they dangled and said, “Good!”

“Only good? Well let me change that,” he said, bringing Peter closer and blowing raspberries into his stomach. He didn’t stop until Peter was giggling uncontrollably and begging him to stop. When he finally calmed down, Steve said, “Hey, Pete?”

“Yeah, Papa?”

“You wanna go camping tonight?” 

Peter gasped and started clapping excitedly. Steve took that as a yes.

* * *

Steve hoped he stayed that excited because one of them had to be. Steve, exhausted to the bone and terrified someone was going to catch them, was not excited. 

He snuck them into Central Park when it was dark enough to be closed but also not be seen as easily. He told Peter if he wanted to camp out under the stars he had to stay quiet. Peter would do anything for the stars so he was on his best behavior the entire time as Steve dragged him through the wooded paths looking for somewhere they could hide. 

He didn’t know how serious the police took their searching of closed city parks, but he didn’t want to find out. 

He knew that the brush with all the trees would be the best place for them to hide because no one would stumble upon that, but he didn’t want to have Peter laying in there all night. God only knew what kind of bugs and ticks could bite them in there. 

So, he walked them deep into the park and found a small bridge where there were small concrete benches attached to the walls. They went into the wall, so they couldn't even been noticed by someone just walking past unless they checked every single one. 

Steve took the two blankets out of the backpack and sat down, ready to wrap Peter up tightly. Peter wasn’t quite ready to get to bed yet. “Papa…” He whined, bouncing on his feet anxiously. 

“What’s wrong, Peter? I told you to go to the bathroom before we left the cafe.” 

Peter shook his head. “No...I want to sleep under the stars.” 

“We are, buddy,” Steve said. “We’re camping.” 

“No. I want to be under the stars. Not the bridge!” 

Steve sighed. “Buddy, I’m sorry, but if it rains, we need to be under something. And I don’t want to be by the lights where someone could see us.” 

“Can I say goodnight to them?” He asked. 

Steve bit his lip, thinking about Peter running out of their cover and a police officer just happening to see him in the light. “Petey, I’m sorry, but we have to stay here. If we get caught, we’re in a lot of trouble.”

Peter’s shoulders slumped in disappointment and Steve hated making him feel that way. “Okay…”

“But how about I wake you up early tomorrow and we’ll watch the sunrise together? Would you like that?” He asked, trying to meet him with a compromise. Little did Peter know that they  _ had  _ to be up and gone by the time the sun rose. 

“It’ll be pretty?”

“It’ll be gorgeous,” Steve said, holding his arms out for Peter. 

Peter smiled and came forward to hop into Steve’s lap. Once he was in his arms, he wrapped the blankets around him tightly. Peter wiggled around his arms, trying to get comfortable and when he finally stopped, he said, “Hey, Papa.” 

“Hey, sweetie.”

“Next time we go camping, can we get a tent and sleeping bags? Like a real campout.” 

“One day,” Steve said because he could really promise that their next camp out would be normal when their next campout was going to be them trying to find somewhere to sleep the next day. 

Peter was quiet as he laid on Steve’s chest, trying to fall asleep. Steve rubbed his back soothingly and sang him a soft lullaby until finally, he was able to fall asleep. But Steve stayed awake, yet again. He really couldn’t afford to fall asleep in public with Peter. 

When he was about to fall asleep, Peter’s teeth started to chatter in the night. Steve felt his little body start to shiver slightly in his sleep and Steve wrapped the blankets around him tighter, hoping to make him warmer, even if only by a little. 

“God,” Steve whispered, his voice cracking, “please keep him warm. Please.” 

Peter’s shivering stopped only a few minutes later. 

* * *

The next morning was even rougher than the previous. Not even seeing Peter smile at the sunrise was good enough for Steve to feel any bit okay. He was freezing cold and hadn't slept in two days. 

When they went into the cafe, they were just barely open. Nat was surprised to see them there early. She was even more surprised to see how rosy Peter’s cheeks looked. “Oh, my God. How cold is it out there?” She asked. 

Of course, she thought this was done in only a few minutes outside and not hours.

“We didn’t realize how cold it would be,” he said, hoping Peter mentioned nothing about camping. Even though they had been at this for a few weeks, he was always terrified of Peter saying the wrong thing. 

“Put your stuff in the back,” she said. “I’ll get you a coffee and hot chocolate to warm you two up.” 

“Can you put a shot of espresso in that?” Steve asked. “Maybe two?” 

Natasha paused, staring at him. “Rough night?” 

“You have no idea.” 

Coffee and hot coco turned into being the drinks plus two bagels and Peter’s donut. Steve went to argue or even pull out his wallet, but Natasha refused all of it. “What’s the point of working at a cafe if you can’t get free food?”  

Steve was too exhausted to even argue if that was true or not and took a seat, sipping on his coffee. It was strong and hot, but that’s exactly what he needed. 

Peter had his two layers of clothing still on as he sipped on his hot chocolate. Once they went outside, he would put his jacket back on, but Steve didn’t want him getting sick by staying in the same amount of clothing inside and outside. 

And when it was time to bring him to school back out in the cold, Peter was jumping back into Steve’s arms and cuddling up against his chest. “Don’t like the cold,” he said. 

“Neither do I, baby,” Steve said. “Don’t worry, you’ll be at school soon.” 

“Will you pick me up at regular time again?” 

“Yes, Petey, now that I quit that other job, I’m going to be picking you up regular time and taking you to the cafe.” 

“That makes me happy,” Peter said, squeezing onto a fistful of Steve’s shirt. 

“Yeah, that makes me happy too, bud.”

* * *

The espresso only did so much for Steve. He could still feel the chill in his bones from their campout and going on over 48 hours of no sleep, he was just barely hanging in there and his patience was gone. Customers that gave him a hard time about their orders were lighting a fuse in him that was dangerously close to making him explode. He felt bad for whoever the hell was gonna be the one to just push it a little too far. 

Unfortunately, that person ended up being someone he knew. 

 

Tony came in, walking with a purpose and headed straight for Steve. He was smiling (like always), but Steve wasn’t amused. “How are we today, blue eyes?” He asked, pulling his glasses off of his head and perching them on the top of his head. When he got a better look at Steve, he frowned. “Steve, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Steve said, despite the dark bags under his eyes that told otherwise. “What can I get you?”

Tony’s frown only deepened. “My usual...you know what I get.” 

“Oh. Right.” Steve blinked. “Coffee and espresso. Had that this morning, myself. Does shit.” 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Tony asked after a moment of hesitation. 

“‘M fine,” he said and his body betrayed him by shivering violently. At least he didn’t have a cup of coffee in his hands like he did the first time. That had hurt. 

“You sure? You’re looking a little cold. I can go back there and warm you up real quick.” 

He was flirting, just like he always did. Probably to cheer up Steve’s mood. But it didn’t work. Instead, it made it only worse. He thought about Tony and his fancy sunglasses and expensive suits and how he came in here every morning and bought a coffee and left a large tip. He had the money to sleep somewhere warm. He didn’t have to worry about feeding his child or keeping him warm or keeping him under a roof. He didn’t need to worry about anything.

Why couldn’t _he_ have that kind of security?

It wasn’t fair. 

“I don’t need your 1500 count Egyptian sheets. Go find some other blue-eyed wonder,” he snapped, turning around before he could see Tony’s reaction. When he finally turned back around and handed Tony his coffee, 

Tony took it, speechless still. 

“Have a good day, sir.” 

Tony hesitated only a moment before walking away, turning to look back once before leaving the cafe. Steve tried to ignore the guilt gnawing at him. 

 

The customers following Tony had just about the same treatment: snippy and quick. He didn’t get many tips. Mostly glares. But he couldn’t bring himself to care. For one day, he wanted to be able to live without worrying about every fucking nickel and dime. 

Natasha was coming out of the back soon after and put a hand on his back and whispered. “Hey, why don’t you go take your break?”

“My break isn’t for another hour,” he said, not giving her an attitude because Natasha was the only person in his life doing anything good for him right now. Even if she didn’t know how much every little thing was helping. 

“Go out now. Please. There is food in the breakroom you can snack on. Clint brought it in.” 

Steve hesitated. A quick nap in the breakroom sounded wonderful. “You sure?”

“Positive. Please. Go get rid of the crankiness you’ve got. Before people start complaining.” Natasha patted him on the shoulder. 

“Thank you,” Steve said, grateful to get a break. 

“No problem.” 

He returned her smile before walking towards the back. He didn’t even have time to take off his apron before he was falling to the couch and letting his eyes fall shut. Before he could even lift his feet to the cushions, he was out cold. 

* * *

He woke up to someone shaking his shoulder. “Hey, Steve.” 

He groaned and tried to ignore them. He hadn’t been able to sleep in forever. 

“Steve, you gotta get up. C”mon. Rise and shine, sleeping beauty.” 

“No,” he muttered, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“Did he seriously just tell me no?” Then there was a giggle. “Rogers, get your butt up. I can’t close the cafe with you inside it still.” 

Close the cafe? 

If it was time for the cafe to close than that meant that he slept through the rest of his shift and that meant that it was nighttime and that meant that he was late to pick Peter up from school. They probably stuck him back in the aftercare after Steve never showed up. 

He shot up off the couch, still mostly asleep. “Peter! I was supposed to get Peter! Promised I’d be there.” He started rubbing his eyes to get the sleep away. 

Natasha kneeled in front of him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Woah, calm down. You’re okay. Peter is right here.” 

“Hi, Papa!” 

Steve blinked his eyes and looked around Natasha to see Peter sitting at the break table, chewing on some kind of food. “Peter-- what?”

“You were snoring away in here when you usually leave to pick him up. So I had someone else watch the cafe and counter while I picked him up. Was a little unsafe bringing him back with no car seat though. But the Uber was slow and careful. I held on tight.” 

Steve was still trying to keep up. “You picked him up?”

“Duh.” 

Steve could cry. “Thank you,” he whispered. “I’m sorry about falling asleep. It won’t happen again.” 

“Hey, don’t worry about it. You’re talking to your friend right now. Not your boss.” 

Steve looked down at his lap. He couldn’t even pick up his son on time. “I don’t know what happened. I didn’t think I was gonna knock out like that. I won’t do it again. I’m sorry to make you go out.” 

“Steve, stop apologizing. It looked like you needed the sleep.”

Peter giggled again. “Papa had a nap too.” 

_ Peter.  _

Steve jumped to his feet and hurried over to Peter. “Petey, I’m sorry I left you there. I promised I’d be there and I let you down--.”

“Don’t worry, Papa. Nat got me,” Peter said with a smile on his face. “I had snacks and was just writin’ in my book.” 

“He was telling me all about how you’re the artist.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Steve said, feeling his cheeks tinge with a blush. “I like to doodle.” 

“He’s amazing. The best.” 

“I bet he is,” Natasha said. “He’ll have to show me one day.”

Steve doubted he would, but he smiled anyway. “Maybe.” 

“When the cafe is open again sounds good,” Natasha said, raising her eyebrows. 

“Oh, crap. Yeah. We’ll get out of your hair,” Steve said, even though he didn’t want to leave. 

“Go eat, sleep, and I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow. I emphasize  _ sleep.”  _ She turned to Peter and ruffled his hair. “You make sure your Dad sleeps, okay?”

“You got it!” He grinned. “I’ll take care of him!” 

“Good. I’m gonna check in tomorrow to make sure you did.” 

“Alright, Papa will sleep. Promise.”

“You better,” Natasha said. 

Steve could only hope.

* * *

They picked up McDonald’s when they left the cafe. Steve used whatever tip money he had from the day before he passed out to eat. That tip money (especially Tony’s) always helped feed them at the end of the night. 

But after dinner was over and Peter started yawning, Steve knew it was time to go find somewhere to camp out for the night. They could go back to Central Park, but it was so far that Steve really didn’t want to walk all the way back there. He knew Peter wouldn’t be able to make it either. 

He walked them towards a larger alley where they could sit and just figure out what they were going to do. Well, Steve was going to figure out what they were going to do. He really didn’t want to have to sleep on the street in some alley. Especially with Peter. 

He sat Peter down somewhere hidden from the rest of the street lights and where it didn’t look like anyone else could see them. He was always paranoid walking around the city streets at night. 

He had a very good reason to be though as he found out only a minute after putting Peter down and turning his back.  Steve was running his hand over his face, trying to fight past the leftover exhaustion when he heard Peter’s scream. He whipped his head to the side when the sound pierced through his ears. 

Steve could just barely make out a man, a very dirty man, standing there with Peter in his arms. Something glistened in the little light they had and it was way too close to Peter’s neck for Steve’s liking. The man was shaking as he held Peter against his chest. 

“Papa!” Peter cried, reaching for him. 

Steve felt his heart racing in terror, but he kept a brave face on for Peter. “Give me back my son.” 

“This is my spot!” The man shouted. 

“Okay, we’re not staying here. We were just leaving.” Steve kept his arms reached out so he could grab Peter when the man let him go. Which was going to be soon. 

“My spot!” He yelled again, shaking Peter in his arms. 

Peter started to cry. “Papa!” 

“Please put my son down. What do you want? I’ll give you anything. I’ll give you whatever money I have in my wallet. You can take it all. Just give me back my son.” 

The man mumbled under his breath and Steve couldn’t tell what he was saying, but Steve turned to look at Peter and spoke in a soothing voice. “You’re okay, baby. You’re okay.” 

“Papa, I’m scared,” he whimpered. 

“I know, baby. But you’re okay. Don’t worry.” He turned back to the man and spoke louder to get his attention. “What do you want?” 

“My spot!” He yelled again. 

Steve took a few steps away from the spot. “It’s all yours.” 

“Wallet or I kill him,” the man said, moving what had to be a small knife closer to Peter’s throat. 

Steve pulled out his wallet and said, “That’s yours too. I”m just going to take a picture of my boy from it. You can have the rest. I just want the picture.” 

The man grunted, eyeing the beat-up leather wallet and Steve took this as a sign to take the photo of Peter as a baby he always kept in there. Seeing all the money tucked inside meant nothing when it was Peter’s life on the line. 

Tossing it to the ground, he said, “There you go. All yours. Take it.” 

The man stared down at it for a few seconds before he pocketed the knife and literally dropped Peter from his hands. Steve watched as Peter fell to the ground and even though he dove to catch him, he wasn’t fast enough. Peter started sobbing harder when he hit the ground. 

Steve lifted him up immediately and didn’t even stop to check if he was alright before he was running out of that alley. The man was screaming words after him, but he didn’t know what they were. His heart was thumping too loudly in his ears. He just wanted to get Peter out of there. 

“It’s okay, baby,” he said as he ran, gripping Peter so tightly in his arms he was probably bruising him. 

Peter continued to sob into his shoulder and Steve didn’t know if it was from fright or pain. He couldn’t check. Not until they were safe. 

And the only place they would be safe was somewhere there was no one else around. He knew a place they had visited earlier on in this mess. It took him almost a half hour to run there and by the time he did, Peter’s sobs had turned to loud sniffles. Steve was still terrified, checking over his shoulder every second. 

The warehouses they had once parked outside of were vacant and a good spot to hide in. He found one that had a window he and Peter easily fit through and he carried Peter up the set of stairs. He walked into a small room that had nothing in it but was still a room. It was warm enough just because of the insolated walls, but there was still a chill to the air. It was warmer than the park though. 

He walked to the corner of the room, farthest away from the window where a draft was sure to come in and dropped their things to the floor. Unfortunately, in their run to safety, he forgot a bag in the alley and he hoped it was the bag with nothing but his art in it. Sure, he would miss that stuff, but it was better than losing the one with clothes and water inside. He also had another stash of dollar bills in that one because he didn’t want to put all of his cash in one wallet. His wallet held just about all of his tips. He really didn’t want to think about how much of a loss that was. 

His first order of business was making sure Peter was okay. But when he tried to set him down to see if he was okay, Peter screamed and refused to let go. Steve hushed him gently, rubbing his back. “It’s okay, sweetie. Don’t cry. I’m right here. You’re safe with Papa.” 

“Scary man,” he whispered as his voice broke. 

“Scary, but he’s gone. I promise.” Steve kissed the top of his head. 

“Papa,” Peter whined, clinging on tighter to him. 

“Papa’s right here.” He rocked him a few times to settle Peter’s crying before he asked, “Can I put you down so I can look to see if you’re hurt?” Peter whimpered. “I promise I’ll still hold your hand. No one is here to take you away now.” 

“Safe?”

“Safe.” He waited for Peter to let go of his shirt before he lowered him to the ground. Once he was out of his arms, Peter immediately grabbed his finger to squeeze. “Let me see you, buddy.” 

Peter looked at him and Steve’s eyes immediately went to the small gash on his cheek. It was scabbed over by now, but there was a smudge of blood on his skin. “Peter, does your cheek still hurt?” He asked, gently caressing just underneath it with his thumb. 

“Little bit,” he said, still squeezing onto Steve’s finger. 

“I’m gonna wash it out, okay?”

Peter jumped right back into his arms, giving him the use of his one arm. He was clinging so tightly to his chest that he could probably stay there even without Steve’s support. Steve didn’t argue it, so he used his free hand to unzip the backpack, praying to find their supplies. He breathed a sigh of relief when he did. He pulled out a water bottle and dripped a little bit onto a clean shirt and began to dab at Peter’s cheek. Peter let out a low whine and stuck his face into Steve’s chest. 

“I’ve got you, honey,” he whispered as he finished cleaning it up. It wasn’t that bad, but it was definitely a scrape that Peter shouldn’t have. He went back into the bag and pulled out their blanket. He wrapped it around Peter and himself until they were warm enough to settle down. The cement ground was cold and hard on his back as he laid down, but he was fine with that as long as Peter was comfortable on his chest. If they wound up staying here, then he could work on a makeshift bed when Peter wasn’t attached to him. 

It went on to be another night that Steve didn’t sleep. Peter got at least an hour of sleep before his quiet snores turned to loud screeching. Steve woke him up from the nightmare and comforted him until his sobs slowly died down. 

After that, even Peter didn’t get a wink of sleep. Steve waited for his breathing to even out, but it never did. His little fist never even loosened on his hand. 

And when the sun rose the next morning, they were both wide awake, just waiting for whatever the next day was going to throw at them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Classes start next week so you know what that means....more class time to spend writing. Hopefully, I get a lot more done now that it's not summer. 
> 
> Also, IronPengu and I went to Central Park together to scope out some good spots for them to sleep. We also got ideas for a lot of other things that will come later (Chapter 13. Possibly).


	9. Chapter 9

Natasha was fussing over Peter the moment they walked through the door. Not only were they later than usual (because their warehouse was further than where they usually camped out) and their cheeks were bright red from the cold, but Peter’s cheek was still scabbed over from where he scraped it yesterday. 

She rushed forward, ignoring the person waiting at the counter and lifted him up under this arms so they were eye level. She looked at his face with wide eyes before looking to Steve. “What happened?” 

_ He got hurt because of me. _

“He tripped. He was excited this morning he tripped.” 

Natasha pet his hair and Peter gave her a smile. The scrape didn’t hurt him anymore, but the memory of what happened was still there. He hadn’t slept a wink last night and Steve felt bad, knowing he was going to have a rough time in school. Hopefully, he would be able to fall asleep during the nap. “Is he okay?”

“He’s fine,” Steve said, really not sure if he was. 

“Why don’t you two go back home?” Natasha suggested and Steve felt his heart began to beat faster. “Take the day off of work and school.”

“He’s fine.” He couldn’t afford to lose a day of work. Literally. 

“He can stay here if he wants,” Natasha said as if she read his mind. “You can work up front here and he can sit in the back.” 

Steve shook his head. “No...it’s alright. He wants to go to school. He’ll miss his friends if he doesn’t.” 

At the mention of his friends, Peter perked up. “Harry!” 

Steve smiled and told Natasha, “That’s his pal in school.” 

Natasha gave him a small smile. “You want to see Harry?” Peter nodded his head. “Okay, how about we get you your donut and then you can head to school.” 

“Yes please!” 

Natasha handed Peter back over to him and Peter was happy to be back in his arms. He squeezed as hard as he could with his little hands. “You hold him. I’ll sign you in and get his food and then be right back. No deliveries today, just take him to school.” 

“Thank you, Nat,” he said, feeling a little relieved. He seemed to be relying on her a lot lately. He didn’t like relying on people because what happened if she wasn’t in their life anymore for some reason--  _ She finds out I’m just some bum mooching off of her?--  _ then there would be no way for him to continue to take care of Peter. 

“Don’t thank me. Just hold on,” she said, running back to the counter where there was a line built up. While she handled that, Steve sat down at a table with Peter and held him close. 

“You sure you’re okay with going to school, bud?”

Despite, his grip on his shirt only tightening, Peter nodded his head. “I’m ‘kay.” 

He should be allowed to stay home. He had the shit scared out of him last night and still was obviously rattled; he should be able to recover at home. But there was no home. The closest thing Peter had to home was that school. It was normal for him. He could maybe forget about everything horrible going on and just be a kid. 

“You sure?”

He hesitated. “Yes.” 

“Peter, you don’t have to be okay all the time. You’re allowed to be upset or scared.” 

Peter gave him a smile, but his bottom lip wavered. “I’m brave, Papa.” 

“You can still be brave but scared,” Steve said, fixing his hold on him so they were staring at each other. 

“I’m brave.” 

“You are.” 

“I’m gonna tell Harry I was battling a monster and I won,” Peter said. 

“You and your imagination.” Steve said, knowing full well that it really wasn’t too far off from the truth. 

“I’m glad it’s Friday,” he said quietly. That means the weekend is here and I can be with you more. You quit your other work.” 

“Yeah, but I’m still gonna be working here on the weekends, Pete,” Steve reminded him. 

“That's okay. I can still stay close.” 

“I like having you close too,” Steve said. But sometimes, he hated it. Not that he didn’t love spending time wither Peter-- those moments were literally the best in his entire life. But being close to Peter meant that Peter was close to him and Peter alway suffered more with Steve. He was promised warmth and safety in school, not with Steve. 

Again, the thought of giving Peter to someone that could properly care for him came to his mind, but Steve chased it away just as quick. 

He wasn’t letting of his boy. Ever. 

 

* * *

 

After Steve dropped Peter off at school, he waited for Tony to come get his usual, but he never showed. All Steve could remember was the previous day when he snapped at him. He had scared away Tony. And while at first, that was all Steve wanted, now it just felt like something was missing. 

Natasha noticed his absence as well. “Don’t cry, blue eyes. He’ll be back soon,” she teased.

“I’m not going to cry,” he said. “I’m happy he’s finally giving me peace.” 

“Uh-huh. Sure,” Natasha said, rolling her eyes. 

But he did miss him. His cocky smirk and confident flirting were some of the only constants in his life. It was comforting in an odd way. 

But at least he still had Peter. And when it came time to pick up Peter from school, he left earlier than normal. Natasha didn't question it and gave him his normal delivery. He had that done before getting to Peter and then before getting to the school, he made a pit stop at a local GoodWill store. 

It was the middle of December and that meant the cold was only getting worse from here. He needed to pick up some extra gloves, hats, and socks for him and Peter. The more layers, the better. He wished he had Peter here to try on the gloves because his hands were tiny, Steve just didn’t know how tiny. But he guessed as best as he could so they were a little larger than what would fit. They needed bigger for layers and the bigger ones they could keep when Peter grew into them. 

He was walking towards the checkout when his eyes caught sight of something else. Something that he wouldn’t have ever thought of on his own. He was going to keep walking past it because he lost a lot of his savings and couldn’t afford to spend carelessly. But then he thought about Peter and his tiny legs struggling to keep up with Steve and how he was always tired from walking everywhere. It didn’t seem like careless spending. 

He went over and picked up the chest carrier to ensure it wasn’t broken. It fit on Steve’s chest fairly easily and while it probably wasn’t meant for a four-year-old, Peter was definitely small enough to fit in it and Steve would have no problem carrying his weight. He could have him close to him even when his hands were full. No one could take Peter away when he had him strapped to his chest. 

Without checking the price tag, he carried it all over to the register. The carrier wasn’t something that they could do without. It was becoming apart of this budget, whether Steve could afford it or not. He could skip a few meals for this.  _ (He  _ could, not Peter.)

He kept the clothing and the carrier in the bag while he walked to go pick up Peter. Steve wasn’t sure how Peter would react to it and he didn’t want to have that conversation in front of the school with his friends and his teacher. Peter had been having trouble controlling his moods lately and Steve wasn’t going to push it. Not where he’d only embarrass himself. 

However, Steve soon found out that the carrier was the least of his problems. Peter didn’t run off the stoop to come running to him. Steve didn’t even see him anywhere. 

He spotted his teacher and hurried over to her. “Where’s Peter?” 

Miss Hill’s eyes only glanced at the large bag in his hand for a second before she looked back to him with sympathetic eyes. “I need to speak to you,” she said in a low voice. 

“Is Peter okay?” He asked, his heart racing. 

“Peter is fine-- physically.” 

That really didn’t help Steve feel any better. “What’s wrong? Is he crying?” 

Miss Hill sighed. “He’s acting strangely today.” 

He came to school with a band-aid on his cheek (courtesy of Natasha) and was “acting strangely”. Steve didn't even want to know what Miss Hill was thinking. “What happened?”

“We tried putting him down for his nap. Usually, he loves his naps and is the first one asleep.” 

_ That’s because I drag him around and exhaust him beyond belief.  _

“But today, he couldn’t fall asleep. He just sat up, staring at the wall.” She looked genuinely upset Peter couldn’t get any rest. “I let him get his stuffed animal from his backpack, but he still couldn't fall asleep.” 

“Did he say why?” Steve asked as if he didn’t already know the answer. 

“He said he needed you.” 

Steve was glad at least he didn’t mention any nightmares. “I’ll talk to him. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.” 

Miss Hill hesitated before asking, “Is everything okay? I know you’ve both been...off lately. Peter’s always exhausted in class and today he came in the bruise on his cheek. Is there anything going on that I should know about?” 

Steve could feel his heart pound against his chest with each beat. “No. He’s okay. He just fell down. That’s really all it was.” 

“I’m not accusing you of anything, Mr. Rogers,” Miss Hill said immediately. “I just want you to know that there are resources out there that can help you. No matter what’s going on. But, you can’t get help without asking for it.”  

“We don’t need any help. Peter just hasn’t been feeling too well lately. He’s been having trouble sleeping because the cold air makes it harder to breathe and his asthma acts up.” 

“Are you sure?” She asked, probably hoping to get him to crack. 

“I’m sure. Can I get Peter now? I’m going to be late for work.” He just wanted to get out of there.

“You’ll have to go into the classroom. He didn’t want to come outside without you. He seemed...scared.” Just another reason for her to worry. 

“He was watching a scary movie last night,” Steve said. “He gets clingy when he scares himself like that.” 

She wasn’t convinced at all, but she didn’t argue it. “Okay, well you can follow me. He’s in the classroom.” 

Steve followed her inside and was glad the classroom wasn’t too far. He just wanted to see Peter. He walked inside the doorway and that moment, Peter was jumping off of the chair and running towards Steve. “Papa!” 

Steve caught him, lifting him up with one arm and holding him against his side. “Hey, baby. I heard you had a rough day at school today.” 

“Couldn’t sleep,” he said. 

“Why not? You’ve got Elliot.” 

“I need you,” Peter said, tugging on his shirt. “I can’t fall sleep ‘till my head hears the thump thump.” 

“The thump thump?”

Peter pressed his hand against his chest, only a few inches off from where his heart actually was. “Thump thump,” he repeated. 

Steve then understood. Peter couldn’t fall asleep without being his now normal position of sleeping on top of Steve’s chest. “Buddy, in school, I can’t be here. You have to fall asleep on your own. You know that you need your naps.” 

“But, I can’t sleep without you,” he whined, leaning against Steve’s shoulder. 

Steve kissed the top of Peter’s head and whispered, “You’re okay without me at school. Miss Hill will always protect you.” 

“Not like you do.”

Steve chuckled softly. “No one will ever protect you like I do, bear. But they can try. Just like Nat. Nat and Miss Hill love you. They will  _ always  _ protect you.” 

“Promise?”

“I do,” he said, without a doubt. If he could rely on two people in this life, he knew it was them. 

“Okay. I’m sorry,” he said. Then he turned to his teacher. “I’m sorry, Miss Hill. For not sleepin’.” 

“You don’t have to apologize, Peter. As long as you’re okay.” 

“I’m ‘kay,” Peter told her with a small smile. 

“If you’re both okay, then I’ll let you go.”

“Thank you, Miss Hill,” Steve said before carrying Peter out of the classroom. He kept on walking with him held close until they were at least a block away and there was no one else around. He stayed away from the alleys. 

He put Peter down on his feet and Peter’s eyes went to the bag. He was immediately interested. “What’s that?” He asked, trying to grab it so he could see for himself. 

“I got us some more gloves and hats. It’s getting colder outside,” Steve said. “We’ll go through our clothes tonight in the warehouse. See what is warm enough and what we need more of.” 

“I need new shoes!” Peter said, sounding excited. He lifted one of his legs up and showed Steve the small hole he had in the side of it. 

“Okay, bud, we’ll stop by the GoodWill store this weekend and maybe pick a pair of snow boots.” Steve didn’t want to spend money, but if he was spending it on Peter, he didn’t feel guilty. 

“Can I get the shoes that light up? Harry has dinosaur ones! He said there are space ones that have lights to look like stars!” 

Steve squeezed his eyes shut. “Pete, I can’t get you new sneakers. Especially special kinds. I can see what is at GoodWill.” 

“But, Papa! Harry got them for being good in school! Am I not good? I’m sorry I can’t sleep. I’ll do better.” Peter clasped his hands together as he pleaded. 

Steve sighed. “You’re the best in school, Petey. I would get you the world if I could. I just don’t have the money right now.” 

Peter was usually good about money, but he was still a child. “Okay...I’ll just add them to my Christmas list so maybe Santa can get them.” 

Santa was a hard conversation they’d have to have at another time. Steve didn’t think Santa was going to make it that year, but there was no easy way to tell Peter that. “You do that, buddy.” 

Peter nodded his head, looking back into the bag. “What else is in there?”

Steve pulled out the chest carrier, knowing that Peter wouldn’t understand what it was until he explained. “Something really cool,” he said as he pulled it over his head. Once it was on his chest, Steve smiled down at Peter. “It’s for you.” 

Peter immediately made a face. “I’m not a baby.” 

“I know you’re not, Pete,” Steve said, trying to placate him before a tantrum started. “But this is better for you. You won’t have to run to keep up with me and you’ll be safer in here.” 

He didn’t answer right away, but Steve could see he was starting to convince him. “I’m not a baby…” 

“You’re not,” Steve repeated. “You’re a big boy. But I’m scared and I’d feel better with you here.” 

Peter looked at him with wide eyes. “You’re scared?” 

“Sometimes I get scared. That doesn’t make me a baby, does it?” 

Peter shook his head immediately. 

“Then going in here doesn’t make you a baby.”

Peter took a step closer. “Okay, I’ll try.” 

Steve smiled. “Good boy.” Then he leaned down and picked him up to slip him into the carrier. Peter squirmed slightly to get comfortable, but when he was, he rested his head against Steve’s chest. “Comfy?” Steve asked. 

Peter stuck his thumb in his mouth and nodded his head. 

Steve hoped it wasn’t too tight for him. Peter was small, but he was still bigger than the recommended size for this. The weight on his chest didn't really bother Steve though. He was used to carrying Peter around and the backpack, so having Peter on his chest only evened the weight from the back when he carried it around. Now though, they were able to keep their bags hidden in the warehouse instead of carrying them around.  He fell asleep only a few minutes into the walk. Steve knew he was tired and he was waiting for Steve’s heart to lull him to sleep. Steve liked being able to keep him pressed against his chest like this. He even unzipped his jacket and wrapped it around Peter and zipped it back up so he kept him even warmer. 

When he walked back into the cafe, he didn’t want to have to take it off. Maybe nobody would notice if Steve just tied his apron around Peter. He walked to the back, ready to at least drop Peter off on the couch to finish his nap when Natasha caught his eyes.

She stared at him in a way that made him freeze. Suddenly, he didn’t feel so good wearing this. What was she going to say? Peter was too old to be in this. It was ridiculous. 

“I can explain,” he said before she could say a word. 

She just shook her head and walked towards him. Steve went silent because he wasn’t sure what to say. He really  _ couldn’t  _ explain this. She stopped when she was in front of him and then reached over and pulled on the straps to his carrier. When she did so, one side of the carrier loosened and Steve felt relieved. She did the same on the other side. “Does that feel better, Mama?”

“I didn’t know you could change how it fits…”

“I don’t even know how you fit your chest into that thing,” she said. “But yeah, loosen it so it doesn’t cut the circulation off in your shoulders.” 

“Thank you,” Steve said, not realizing until now how badly the straps had been digging into his skin. 

“You thank me way too much,” she said.

“You help me out way too much.” 

She rolled her eyes. “You can thank me by bringing that boy in the back before someone out here wakes him up. And take your break until he’s awake.” 

“But--.” 

“You heard me.” 

“Nat--.”

“Steve.”

He bit his tongue because he knew there was no arguing with her. “Thank you.” 

“I’m getting tired of hearing those words out of your mouth.” 

“Thank you,” he said again because he couldn’t say it enough. 

“Whatever. Just get back there.” 

Steve did and he laid back down on the couch, careful to not startle Peter and got comfy himself. He liked this carrier. He could keep Peter strapped to his chest when he was asleep too. Maybe now he’d fall asleep easier, knowing that someone couldn’t just come and take him if he fell asleep. 

Steve didn’t sleep then, but he enjoyed listening to Peter’s heavy breathing as he napped away on Steve. He was safe here. The only time Peter was ever leaving this was to go to school. 

That was a little too unrealistic, but still, Steve was going to keep him in it for as long as possible. Maybe Nat could even get him his own little hat to wear when his head stuck out of the top of Steve’s apron. 

Steve laughed at the image of that and Peter moaned quietly as Steve’s chest shook him. Steve rubbed his head softly and whispered, “Sorry, buddy. Keep sleeping.” He craned his neck to press a kiss to the top of his head. “Dream well, sweetie.” 

 

* * *

 

That night, they settled into their makeshift bed in the warehouse. Peter was back in the carrier, only having left it for dinner and using the restroom. He was sucking his thumb while he held Elliot tight in his arms. 

“So, how do you like your carrier, Petey?”  

“It’s nice,” he said, around the thumb he was sucking. “I like being close.” 

“Is it comfy for you to sleep in?” 

“Yes,” he said. “Warm too.” 

Steve thought about all he was putting Peter through. That bruise on his cheek, the shoes he couldn’t afford to replace, keeping him locked in a baby carrier. He didn’t deserve this kind of life. He deserved better than Steve could give him. “Are you happy?” He asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

Peter looked up at him, the question throwing him for a loop. “Huh?”

“Are you happy?” Steve asked around the lump growing in his throat. “With me. Are you happy...with me…”

Peter nodded his head quickly. “Yes! I’m really happy with you, Papa!” 

“Are you sure? Because I know it’s not the best...this adventure…”  _ I know you can do so much better.  _ “If you want, just say the words and I can find you somewhere better.”  _ Please don’t say the words.  _

Peter’s eyes filled with tears immediately. “Papa, you said I could stay. You said you’d never let me go.” His little hands immediately grabbed onto Steve’s shirt even though he was already pressed close and secure in the carrier. 

“I don’t want to let you go, Pete. But I also don’t want to ruin your life.” He said, feeling his own eyes burn up. 

“You don’t! I’m happy with you, Papa!” 

“But you’re not,” Steve said. “You could be so much happier somewhere else.” He shouldn’t be saying this to Peter, but he couldn’t stop himself. He needed  _ someone  _ to talk about this with and Peter was the only one he could. 

“Papa, please,” Peter said, starting to cry. “Don’t give me ‘way. You make me smile and happy. I love you!” 

“I love you too, baby.” Steve cupped his head with his hand.

“Then why you wanna say goodbye?” 

“Because I can’t give you want you deserve.” 

“I want you, Papa. Nothing but you,” Peter said, his voice pleading. 

Steve didn’t want to be making him cry, but he wanted to make sure Peter had a choice and he wasn’t being completely selfish. “I’m sorry, baby…” 

“No!” Peter shrieked, not knowing what Steve was apologizing for. “If you give me ‘way, I’ll never forgive you!” 

_ You won’t remember me. I'll be a distant memory. I’ll feel like a dream-- a nightmare.  _

“Peter, you don’t understand.” 

“I do! I will miss you! You can’t!” 

“I don’t want to. Please don’t think I want to,” Steve said, wiping at his face even though his tears weren’t falling. 

“Then please don’t. Please.” Peter smacked his chest once before gripping his shirt again. “No more kisses and snuggles. No more baby bear and Papa Bear.” 

Steve shut his eyes, letting Peter’s words sink in. Letting go of Peter meant letting go of all he had left to live for. His world revolved around Peter and nobody else. To even entertain the idea of letting go of Peter for a conversation was crazy. 

“I’m sorry, Peter.” 

“Papa, no!” He started smacking his chest again before Steve took his hands in his. 

“Pete, I’m not apologizing for getting rid of you. I’m apologizing for even asking about it.” 

Peter sniffled, wiping his nose on Steve’s shirt before looking back up at him. “You’re gonna keep me?”

Steve nodded his head as his stomach churned at that question. “Yes, baby, of course. I don’t know how I could ever even think about leaving you.” 

“I don’t want to say goodbye.”

“You don’t have to. I’m done with that silly idea. No more. I promise.  As long as you’re happy, I will be.” 

“You say that, but ask 'gain and 'gain.” 

“You’re right. I’m sorry for asking. I won’t bring it up anymore. I just get nervous.” Steve started to rub his back again to try and calm him down again. He felt horrible for getting Peter upset when he was getting ready to fall asleep. 

“No more?”

“No more.” Steve pressed a kiss to his head. “You sleep now, Petey. Tomorrow is Saturday so we can sleep in, but not too late.”

“I love you, Papa,” Peter whispered before laying his head down on Steve’s chest, curling up in the carrier. 

“I love you too, baby bear.” 

 

* * *

 

The next morning when Steve walked into the cafe, Natasha stared at him like he was crazy. For a moment, Steve was worried that she changed her mind about the carrier. Instead, she asked, “What the hell are you doing here?” 

“Um...I work here?” 

Peter giggled and kicked out his feet. “Donut too!” 

Natasha smiled at him. “That I can do,” she said before turning to Steve. “You should not be working here on a weekend.” 

“Nat…” 

“No, don’t you _Nat_ me. Peter is off from school and you’re not wasting the day here.” 

Steve sighed. “Oh, come on…”

“Fine. You’ve got the morning shift. But then you’re done. Got it?” 

A few hours was still money and warmth, so he nodded his head. “Yeah. Of course.” 

“Get in the back and get ready. I’ll have the little guy’s food ready when you get out. Oh, and Rogers,” she added before he could leave. 

“Yes?”

“Don’t put that apron over Peter. He gets out of that thing while you’re here, okay? Let the kid stretch his legs.” She gave him a look that showed her concern she had. 

“Yeah, of course,” Steve said, wishing he didn’t feel like he needed to keep Peter attached to him at all times. It was pathetic. 

“Good, he can sit in his usual table.” Natasha ruffled Peter's hair before walking back towards the counter. 

Steve carried Peter in the back and pulled him out of the carrier. Peter stuck close to his legs, keeping one hand holding on his pant leg. Steve put the carrier on the couch and smiled down at him. “Hey, bud. Sticking close?” 

“Uh-huh.” 

Steve smiled and started walking out of the breakroom with Peter close to his side. He went to follow Steve behind the counter, but Natasha stopped them. She smiled at him, leaning down to get closer to him. “Hey, little guy, you wanna come and sit with me at our table?” 

Peter stepped back from Natasha until his back hit Steve’s legs. “I wanna stay with Papa.” 

“Papa has to work,” Natasha said. “Why don’t you come to keep me company?”

“But Papa…” Peter said, his voice sounding scared. Steve couldn’t blame him; he wanted to grab Peter’s hand, look at Natasha and say:  _ But Peter… _

“Papa wants you go to sit with me and eat your breakfast.” She stared at him pointedly. “Right, Papa?”

Steve hesitated and it only took another hard glare from her before he sighed and said, “Yes. I want you to go and enjoy your donut while I work, buddy. I will be right here.” 

“Okay…” He said, taking a step away from him and towards Natasha. She took his hand and started him towards the table. Steve watched Peter go, staring back at him over his shoulder as if he were going someplace far away. Steve gave him an encouraging smile so he kept walking alongside Natasha. 

Steve knew what she was doing. She was only trying to stop them from getting so codependent on each other. Seeing as they could barely leave each other’s side, even if only a few feet. 

So, they started small and Steve worked at the counter while he kept an eye on Peter as his table. He caught Peter glancing back a few times before Natasha had him so distracted with whatever they were talking about, he stopped twisting in his seat every 2 minutes to make sure Steve was still there. 

Then, Natasha came over to the counter to get another hot chocolate and pastry for Peter. Before she left, she whispered, “In 5 minutes, Clint is gonna come out and cover the front and you’re going to the back. Just sit there for a half hour.”

“Natasha, I can’t leave Peter. I promised--.”

“You’re not leaving him, okay? If he turns around to look for you, I’ll tell him that you went to the back to work. If he gets upset, I will let him come back to you immediately.” 

“Nat, I really don’t think I should be messing with him like this…”

“You’re not messing with him. You’re just giving him a chance to be on his own. Just enough space so he doesn’t stay stuck to your hip when you shower and go to the bathroom.”

“I don’t know, he’s still shaken up--.” Steve stopped himself when he realized what he said, but he didn’t do it soon enough. 

“I can see that and I don’t know what happened, but this isn’t healthy. He needs to know he doesn’t always have to be by your side. He needs space to grow. Not that he’s going anywhere any time soon,” she quickly added. “But, if I keep letting you two go down the road like this, it’s just going to get worse.” 

“You don’t like my carrier idea.” 

Natasha hesitated. “Not that I don't like it,” she said. “I just don’t understand it.” She sighed deeply. “I really don't understand anything that is going on with you two. I wish I did, so I could help. But I don’t. Not yet. So, for now, just let me help how I can.” 

Steve paused before he finally nodded his head. “Okay. Fine. But the moment that he’s upset, please get me. Please.” 

“I promise,” she said with a smile. 

Steve watched her go back to Peter, who turned back around to wave at him and then he waited. He waited for Clint to come take his spot. And then he waited some more in the back. He waited for a full 12 minutes before the break room door was shoved open and little feet came running through the door. “Papa!” Peter yelled, tears filling his voice. 

Steve felt his heart shatter when he saw his face. Steve jumped to his feet and met Peter before he had to run too far. He lifted him close to his chest and squeezed him in a tight hug. “Peter, I’m so sorry.” 

“Papa, I thought you left me.” He sobbed, hiding his face in his neck. 

“No, bear. I was just back here. Nat was with you the whole time. Remember, I told you that you were safe with her, baby.” 

Peter couldn’t stop his crying as he struggled to even breathe. “I’m sorry, Papa. I’m sorry. I just got so scared. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay, sweetie,” Steve said, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I’m not going anywhere. It’s okay.” 

Peter nodded his head before leaning against his chest. 

While Peter worked to calm down, Steve looked over at Natasha, who looked extremely guilty in the doorway. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. 

He gave her a small smile. “It’s okay.” 

This just made Steve realize that they had to work on their little issue with codependency. They could handle it though. Steve knew they could. Together. 

 

* * *

 

 

Natasha let him stay for a few more hours, working at the counter with Peter sitting on the floor by his feet with his notebook. He was much more relaxed near Steve. Sometimes he even popped up on his tippy toes to say hi to some of the customers. It was adorable and Peter was great at getting him extra tips, so Steve didn't stop him. 

Before they were about to leave for the night, Natasha cornered him. “Steve, I wanted to apologize again. I shouldn’t have--.”

“No, please. Thank you. And maybe we can try again soon. When it’s not so new to him?” 

Natasha smiled at him. “I would love to. But there’s actually something else I wanted to talk to you about.” 

“Hm?” 

“The past few days, Peter has been telling me all about your art. He showed me a few drawings of yours.” 

“My drawings?” Steve asked, confused because most of them were in that backpack. 

“Yeah, he had a few tucked into his notebook. They’re cute. I wonder if you can draw anything other than a certain curly-haired toddler, though.” She grinned at him. 

“He likes me sketching him,” Steve said. “I let him keep them.” 

“He definitely kept them. And it’s given me a great idea that you’re going to love.” 

“And what’s that?”

“Well, since you love to work so much, there is an extra job that would be perfect for you.” 

_ Extra job.  _ Steve immediately perked up. “Yeah. Of course. Do you need me to stay after and wash equipment? Clean up?” 

Natasha frowned. “What? No. Nothing like that.” She waved her hand. “You know this already, but that wall by Peter’s table is looking pretty empty.” 

“Oh, yeah. It could be better,” Steve said, unsure of where she was going with it. 

She laughed, rolling her eyes. “I’m asking you to paint it, doofus. A mural. We need a mural for our cafe and I want you to create it.” 

Steve’s eyes widened. “What?”

“You can have the cafe after closing, starting tomorrow night. You enjoy tonight and all day tomorrow with Peter and then you can come back here and paint your mural.” She lifted her hand up with a key in her hand. 

A key that would not only give him more money but also offer four walls and a ceiling over their heads. They’d have somewhere to stay. He couldn’t help the grin that broke out on his face before pulling her in a hug. He squeezed her tighter and tighter until she started laughing and patting his back. “Okay, Steve, if you squeeze me any harder, I’m going to explode.” 

He let go of her and said, “Thank you, Nat. Thank you so much.” 

She rolled her eyes fondly. “You and your 'thank you's. You’re welcome. Now go get your boy and get out of here. And do not report back until at least tomorrow night. It’s up to you when you start.” 

“I’ll be here tomorrow, ready to paint the best damn mural you’ll ever see.” 

Natasha grinned. “I can’t wait.”

“Neither can I,” Steve said. “You have no idea.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the codependency gets unhealthy...  
> but hey  
> guess who finally meets peter next chapter? ;)


	10. Chapter 10

When Steve woke up the next morning in the warehouse, Peter was still sound asleep in the carrier. Even though it was keeping him pressed against Steve’s chest, he still kept the hand not holding Elliot gripping a fistful of Steve’s shirt tightly. 

Steve was a little nervous about sleeping with Peter strapped to his chest, but it didn’t look like Peter was uncomfortable. Steve, on the other hand, missed what it felt like to lay on a bed. His back was begging for anything other than hard concrete. Peter was always comfortable on his chest and that was all that mattered. 

But just giving Peter a semi-nice place to sleep wasn’t enough. 

Thankfully, today was a day off for Steve (until later that night when they could come back to the cafe, which was not a complaint at all) and he was going to give Peter a good day. They were always doing what Steve wanted, but Peter deserved a day of his own as well. 

If Peter had the choice, he’d pick something like a space station or the moon itself. Unfortunately, Peter couldn’t get what he deserved, but he could make him smile. For the day. And he might not be able to take him to the moon, but he could take him someplace close: The Museum of Natural History. 

Steve was pretty sure that they had an exhibit for space. They even had a planetarium show that Steve knew Peter was going to fall in love with. An additional benefit of taking Peter there was that it was a pay what you could for the tickets. Most places required something to get in, but if Steve and Peter wanted to pay their own price, all they had to do was wait in line for admission. He’d been looking into it at the library and the line did get long early on in the day, so if they didn’t want to wait too long in the cold, then they were going to have to head out early. 

In order to wake Peter up without taking forever, Steve stood up and got their stuff together for the day while he bounced Peter gently. He went through their backpack to pull out their breakfast: old pastries that Nat was going to throw out at the end of the day. 

Once he had their food out and Peter’s outfit picked (his space shirt and his warmest pants), he pulled Peter out of his carrier and that immediately had him waking up. He looked around with his sleep filled eyes and started reaching for Steve again. “Papa,” he let out a little whine. 

“I’m right here, bear,” Steve said with a small smile.

“Missed you,” he mumbled, trying to get close to Steve again. 

“Missed me? I didn’t go anywhere.” 

“I miss you bunches when I sleep,” Peter told him. 

“Well, then I missed you too. But now that you’re awake, why don’t we get ready to start our day?”

“Are we going to the library again?” He asked, his smile faltering slightly. 

“No, buddy. Not the library...I”m going to take you to a place where you can see the stars.” 

Peter’s eyes widened. “Really, Papa?”

Steve smiled. “You bet, baby bear. We’re gonna go to the Planetarium.” 

“No way!” He yelled, kicked his feet in excitement. “I’m gonna see stars!” 

“You really are, bud.” Steve smiled as he sat Peter down by their food and watched as he grabbed a bagel with his hand and stuffing it into his mouth. Peter ripped off a piece of it and handed it over to Steve. 

Steve shook his head. “You eat that, bear. I’ve got my own.” 

Peter waited for Steve to get his own pastry before he continued to eat. Steve smiled and lifted Peter back up and set him on his lap. “Why don’t you sit here while you eat? Then we’ll head out.” 

Peter nodded and moved back in his lap until his back was pressed against his side. He knew Natasha was right...they really had to work on their codependency, but right now, she wasn’t here and Steve wanted to keep him close. Just for now. 

* * *

“How much longer do we have to wait here?” Peter whined, leaning his head against Steve’s chest. 

“We’ve only been out here for 15 minutes. And you’re not even standing. I’m carrying you.” 

“My seat is holding me,” Peter said. 

Steve chuckled. “Oh, you’re right. Excuse me.”

“I want to go in there now,” Peter said a minute later. Literally. 

“Wow, Mr. Patient, you’re great at waiting.” Steve ruffled his hair. “Don’t worry. We’ll be there soon. Only a few more people in front of us.”

Peter sighed heavily and kicked his feet. He let out a long whine that had no words to it. Steve rolled his eyes fondly at him. He did his best to entertain Peter in their short wait until they were allowed in. But even Steve was getting cold by the time they got the admissions. 

“Uh, two tickets please…” Steve said, unable to look the woman in the eyes. 

“Sure, things, and how much would like to pay today?”

Steve knew he couldn’t go in for free. He wouldn’t feel right. But he couldn’t afford a full priced ticket; that’s why he waited in this line. But he could still give back in some way. He pulled out what money he had. He pushed forward the two dollars, one for him and one for Peter, and stared down at the table, waiting for her to hand over the tickets. 

He watched her take the money and held his breath, even though he knew she couldn’t deny him entry. 

“Just so you know, our Planetarium does require the purchase of two tickets. $23 for you and $13 for your son.” 

Steve’s eyes snapped up to look at her. That was $36. He couldn’t afford that...at all. That was multiple nights of dinner. “I understand, ma’am. Thank you.” 

Before he could take the tickets she pushed over, Peter started yelling. “Papa! No! You said!” 

Steve put a hand on the back of his head and gave the woman an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, baby. Come on, there’s more we can enjoy.” 

“No! You promised! You said I could see the stars!” He wailed, kicking his feet and smacking his hands against Steve’s face. 

Steve looked around at the long line of people, all staring right at them. His cheeks burned in embarrassment. “Peter, sweetie,  _ please  _ settle down. Papa can’t afford those tickets right now.” 

“But you work! You have money! Let me see the stars! Liar! You promised!” Peter started pushing on Steve’s chest so he could try and get away, but the carrier held him close. 

Steve grabbed his wrists in one hand and used the other to put on the back of Peter’s head and pull him in closer so he could whisper in his ear. “Peter, stop it right now. I mean it.”

“No!” He yelled, followed by a wordless scream. 

The other people around them starting to mutter amongst themselves. Steve hated the attention and humiliation. 

“Peter, you need to stop it. You can be as upset as you want later tonight. Just...let’s enjoy the day. There are other things we can see.” 

“I want to see the stars! Nothing else! Papa, I want them! Don’t be mean!” He smacked Steve’s face hard enough that it had Steve’s cheek burning. 

“He raised a brat because he lets him get away with everything,” Steve heard someone say in the line. 

Steve wanted to stop them from ever calling his son a brat again. They didn’t understand. They didn’t know what Peter went through every damn day. He wasn’t acting how Steve would normally want him to act, but he couldn’t punish him. He already punished him enough. 

“Peter, baby, please just quiet down. Stop this.” 

Peter was done with his words and spent the next minute screaming as loud as his lungs would allow him. 

“Jesus, man,” someone yelled out behind him. “Just stop being so cheap and buy your kid the tickets!”

“Peter,” Steve said, ignoring him. “Please stop. We’ll come back. Okay, I promise you--.” 

“Liar!”

“Peter, no, you need to stop.” Peter didn’t look to be stopping any time soon, so Steve lowered his voice. “You need to stop or else no more donuts.” 

That had Peter’s eyes widening. “Papa…”

“I mean it. No donuts if this is how you want to behave. You’re acting like a baby. You’re embarrassing yourself.”

Peter wiped at his face. “I just wanna see the stars…”

“You will. One day, you will,” Steve brushed his hair out off his forehead before pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “I promise. One day, you will.”

Peter’s lips began to tremble, but he managed not to burst into tears. “Okay, Papa…”

“Okay,” Steve said. “Are we ready to go inside now?” 

Peter stuck his thumb in his mouth to suck on it anxiously. He took a moment to answer, but Steve waited for him patiently speak up again, thumb still in his mouth. “Ready…”

“Good boy,” Steve said, rubbing his back. “We’re gonna go in there and have fun. Come on.” He turned back to the table and grabbed the tickets quickly and was rushing towards the exhibits. He ignored someone yelling out, “Finally!” as they walked away. 

Steve pressed another kiss to Peter’s head and used his hand to take Peter’s hand from his mouth. “We’re gonna have a good day, buddy. I know it.” 

* * *

Even if he didn’t get to see the stars, Peter ended up having a great time. Steve knew he would because he loved learning about new things. His little brain was like a sponge. Each exhibit only excited him more than the previous one did. 

For the first time in a long time, Steve felt happy and relaxed. He felt like he and Peter were a normal family. 

However, the facade came crashing down when the Museum closed and they were back out on the street again. But at least they weren’t staying there. They weren’t even going to the warehouse that was currently their home. They were going back to the cafe. 

Natasha had called him earlier in the day, reminding him that he was able to start the mural tonight if he wanted. And truth was, after a long day with Peter, the last thing he wanted to do was get back and start working, but if it kept a roof over Peter’s head, he would. 

He walked them back to the cafe, still keeping an arm wrapped around Peter, even though he was safe in the carrier. Once at the front door, he stuck the key in the lock and opened the door. He didn’t let himself feel relieved until he was inside and the door was shut behind them, locked again. He switched on the lights and sighed. “We’ll be warm tonight, Pete.” 

“Safe to go down, Papa?” Peter asked. 

“Safe to go down,” Steve confirmed and pulled him out of the carrier before lowering him to the ground. He took off the carrier and placed it on a nearby table. His eyes landed on the counter where a plate of pastries was set out with a note. He picked it up and read Natasha’s handwriting.  _ Snacks for my boys. Pencils and paints are in the back. Go wild, have fun. Don’t keep Peter up late. He gets grumpy. _

He smiled over at Peter and said, “Not even Nat like your grumpiness.” 

Peter looked over at him with a frown. “Not grumpy.” 

“Uh-huh. Then what was that little show today?” Peter pouted at Steve and he rolled his eyes fondly. “I know, I know. You’re sorry. I”m just teasing you, bud.” 

“I’m gonna tease you!” Peter declared, standing up on his tippy toes briefly. 

“Oh, yeah? How are you going to do that?” Steve asked, leaning down to get to Peter’s eye level as he hurried over. 

“Like this!” Peter leaned forward with puckered lips but stopped just an inch away from kissing Steve’s cheek. He blew a raspberry instead and then turned to run as he giggled. 

Steve laughed. “Oh, you’re not getting away that easy.” He took one large step and caught up to Peter, picking him up underneath his shoulders. Peter let out a loud shriek as he kicked out his legs frantically. 

“Papa! No!”

Steve pulled him close and started to cover his cheeks in kisses as Peter giggled. Steve could spend the rest of his life peppering Peter with kisses and listening to his laughter. He planned to do it for at least longer than the 15 seconds he had. But a knock at the front door stopped him. 

Steve stood up straight and stared at the door. There was another knock. Steve turned to Peter and lowered him to the floor. “Get to the back, Peter. Hide and don’t come out until I call you, okay?”

Peter looked scared. “Papa, what’s wrong? Who’s there? Another bad guy?” 

“I don’t know, Peter, but you need to get in the back right now.” Steve pushed him towards the back, but Peter didn’t go. 

“Papa, I don’t want you to get hurt. Come hide with me too.” 

“I can’t, Peter. Now go.” He gave him another shove towards the back and Peter started walking away, glancing over his shoulder. “Go,” Steve said again. “Peter. Go.” 

Finally, Peter ran into the breakroom and Steve waited a few moments to make sure Peter was hidden before he took a deep breath and walked towards the front door. Part of him was hoping that by the time he opened the door, whoever knocked would have left already. 

When he opened the door, he was lucky enough that the person was still there. Steve blinked a few times to make sure he was actually standing in front of him before he said, “Tony? What are you doing here?”

“I haven’t seen you in like 2 days, handsome. Shouldn’t you be a little happier to see me?” Tony smirked, leaning against the doorway frame. 

“I thought I scared you away the other day when I yelled…” Steve said, still unable to believe Tony was really here. 

“You scare me?” Tony repeated with a scoff. “Please. It would take a lot for you to scare me away. But…” He did that thing again where he practically undresses him with his eyes. “I’d really like to see you try.” 

Steve furrowed his brow. Some of the stuff that Tony said made Steve think that he was into some really... _ really  _ weird stuff or he just wasn’t thinking his flirtations all the way through. “I’m sorry, what?”

Tony took a step inside and Steve stumbled back a step. “Something tells me there’s a couch in that breakroom that I can show you exactly what I mean on.”

“Tony,--,” Steve started, his cheeks flushed. He was saved from getting out of Tony’s latest advance by two feet running into the room. He whirled around to try and stop Peter before it was too late, but he ran right past him. 

He watched as Tony’s face turned from surprised to confused in a matter of seconds. “Peter?”

Suddenly, Tony was no longer a friend. He knew his son’s name without Steve ever introducing them. That made him a danger. Steve grabbed Peter by his hands and tugged him back to him so hard he almost fell off his feet. He stepped in front of him so he wasn’t in Tony’s view, but Peter kept trying to peek around him. “How do you know my son?”

If possible, the confusion on Tony’s face only deepened. “I’m sorry--  _ your son?” _

“My son. My four-year-old son. Who you have never met. So, let me ask you again,  _ how do you know my son?” _

Tony stared at him for a moment before clearing his throat. “I did meet him. The other day in the coffee shop. He was sitting at the table when I stopped in.” 

“I know him, Papa! He’s my friend. That’s Mr. Tony!” 

“Mr. Tony…” Steve repeated, glancing from Peter and back to Tony. “I’m sorry, I’m just really confused.” 

“So am I,” Tony said. “I didn’t know you had a child.” 

Steve wasn’t sure how Tony was feeling about him having a child, but part of him hoped he wouldn’t mind. He ignored that. “It’s not something I usually tell my customers.” 

“Is that all I am to you? “ Tony asked, quirking an eyebrow. 

Steve narrowed his eyes, flickering his eyes down to Peter and then back up to Tony.  _ Keep it in your pants while my son is in the room, Stark.  _

Tony seemed to get the hint and he straightened his suit jacket. “I’m sorry for interrupting. But, I missed you the other day because a meeting ran late and then I didn’t see you the next day because you were out on a delivery, and apparently, you don’t work today-- eventually, Nat just felt bad for me. She told me I could find you here tonight.” 

“Nat?” 

“Yeah.” He looked around. “She got you working late?”

“She’s having me make a mural on the wall. Pete and I are staying late to have it done when customers aren’t around.” 

“Well, I don’t want to get in your way. I’d be happy to just sit and stare at the artwork.” Tony winked. 

Steve sighed. “You can stay, but only for a bit. It’s Peter’s bedtime soon.” He took Peter’s hand and led him towards the breakroom. He brought him to the couch and pulled out the blanket they kept there. “Lay down here, Petey. I will be back here in a few minutes.” 

“Papa, no! I wanna hang out with Mr. Tony too!” Peter reused to let go of Steve’s hand. 

Steve lifted him up and set him on the couch. “No. You stay here with Elliot and I’ll be back. Sleep.” 

“I can’t sleep without you,” Peter whined and Steve felt a little bad because he knew that was true. 

“Just sit tight then and wait for me. Talk to Elliot and tell him a story.” Steve handed him Elliot as well and tucked the blanket around him. He stood up before Peter could argue and he went over to the table where Nat had left a box of art supplies. All he needed was a pencil for now, so he grabbed one and looked over at Peter as he left. “Sleep, bear.” 

“Papa.” 

“Sleep.”

Peter sighed and flopped backward on the couch, glaring at him. 

“Oh, stop it, you. Just cuddle Elliot and wait for Papa.” Steve walked out of the room and saw Tony sitting at one of the tables, picking at a donut. When he saw Steve, he smiled and looked around his feet. “Where’s the little guy?”

“He’s in bed, Tony. It’s way past his bedtime.” 

Tony raised his eyebrows as he glanced behind Steve. “Then why is there a munchkin behind you?”

Steve turned around and there was Peter standing in the doorway, with Elliot and a pillow in one arm and the blanket dragging behind him in the other. Raising his eyebrows and crossing his arms over his chest, Steve asked, “What are you doing out here, young man?”

“Sleep!” Peter yelled before running past him and over to the table Tony was at. He threw the pillow on the ground and plopped down before pulling the blanket over himself and snuggling with Elliot. He closed his eyes and pretended to snore. 

Steve rolled his eyes. “Peter, I know you’re awake. Come on, we’re going back to the breakroom.”

“No, Papa!”

“I’ll sit with him,” Tony said. 

Steve was surprised to hear that. “What?”

“While you do your work, I can sit with Peter,” Tony offered. 

“Um,” Steve said, “are you sure?”

Tony was already getting out of his chair, grabbing the plate of pastries and sliding to the floor. “I’m sure.” He looked over at Peter. “As long as Peter doesn’t mind.” 

Peter snapped his eyes open and scooted over to make room for Tony to sit on the blanket too. “He can sit!” 

“Okay…” Steve said, turning away. As it turned out, Tony was one of the now three people that Steve could trust Peter with. He didn’t feel scared like he usually did when he wasn’t looking at Peter. He looked at the blank wall and thought about the idea he’d been thinking about. He’d need to grid the wall and also sketch out his plans on a piece of paper. 

It would take a few days, but Steve didn’t really mind. The longer he took, the longer they got to stay here. Hopefully, Nat wasn’t expecting it to be done right away. He wasn’t going to push it too long, but a few days would be okay. 

Steve sat down and started to sketch out a grid on the paper before he started the actual drawing. Natasha wanted to check the drawing before he put it up on the wall, but Steve was certain that she’d okay this one. 

He started his sketch, smiling as he watched it come together in front of him. He paused to sharpen his pencil and when he did, he noticed Tony and Peter out of the corner of his eyes. They were finishing up their snacks and Peter was licking his fingers. Tony laughed as he used a napkin to wipe his fingers off. Once Peter’s fingers were clean, Peter grabbed Elliot from his pillow. 

“Oh, who is this?” Tony asked, patting Elliot’s head. 

Peter smiled, leaning closer to Tony. “His name is Ellie.” 

Steve watched as Tony smiled and he knew it wasn’t fake He wasn’t just trying to please Steve. It didn’t even seem like he knew Steve was watching. Tony held out his hand and took one of Elliot’s arms in his hand and shook it gently. “It is very  nice to meet you, Ellie. My name is Tony.” 

Peter giggled and Steve couldn’t help but smile too. “He likes you. He says you’re very nice. He wants to be your friend.” 

Tony looked at Elliot as he said, “Well, Mr. Ellie, I would love to be your friend.” 

Peter lifted Elliot to kiss Tony’s cheek while making a loud kissing sound. “I love you, Mr. Tony!” Peter said in his high pitched Elliot voice. 

Once Peter pulled him away, Tony pressed his own kiss to Elliot’s head. “I love you too, Mr. Elliot.” 

Steve felt something flutter in his chest, watching Tony talk with Elliot and Peter. Something he’d never felt looking at Tony, even with all of his...flirting. But now, seeing Tony with Peter, he felt something change. Something that scared Steve because he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t fall for Tony Stark. 

But then he looked at him with Peter and he knew...he knew he was screwed. 

* * *

“Are you insane?” Steve demanded when he saw Natasha the next morning. “You have to be insane because there’s no other way that you would just send a man to find me.” 

Natasha smiled at him. “I have no idea what you’re referring to.”

“He told me, Nat.” 

“Oh? You mean Tony Stark?” Natasha asked. “Yeah, he was looking for you. I thought I was doing you a favor.” 

Steve raised his eyebrows. “Doing me a favor? You couldn’t at least, warn me?”

“I didn’t want to get your hopes up,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. “I wasn’t sure if he’d actually show up. I was testing him.” 

“Testing him? What are you talking about?” 

“He’s  _ Tony Stark,  _ Steve. I know you don’t know him, but I do. And I know that he doesn’t just go out of his way to meet up with cute baristas,” Natasha said with a wink. 

Steve sighed. “Natasha, you’re thinking too much into this. And besides, I’m not interested.” 

Natasha laughed. “Yeah.” She laughed again. “Oh, I’m really sure.” She started laughing once more and couldn’t stop. 

Steve crossed his arms over his chest, raising his eyebrows. “Are you done?”

“I’m sorry. It’s just  _ rich  _ that you think I’d believe that for one second.” Nat shook her head. “I know you’re into him. Maybe not infatuated like Tony is, but you’ll get there. Trust me.” 

“Listen, Yente, I don’t know what you get out of me giving Tony a chance, but you need to stop.” Steve rolled his eyes. “There’s nothing in it for me,” Natasha said. “I just know Tony. I know he doesn’t act like this unless he actually cares for someone. And despite your claims, I know you feel  _ something.” _

“Nat…”

“You’ve been upset lately. I mean, you’ve always been a little...sad since I met you, but it’s only getting worse. I think having someone could really help.” Natasha reached over and took his hand in hers. 

He smiled as he gave it a squeeze. “I have you. Is that not enough?”

Natasha laughed. “As cute as you are, you’re not my type.”

Steve smirked. “Your type is hard of hearing baristas, huh?” Natasha’s cheeks burned and Steve laughed. “I knew it!”

Natasha took a step closer, jabbing him in the chest with her pointer finger. “You say one word to him and I will--.”

Steve cut her off by puckering his lips and making kissing noises. 

Natasha shoved him gently, trying not to laugh. “Stop it. You’re supposed to fear me.” 

“You don’t scare me. I’ve seen your soft side.” 

“You have seen no such thing,” Natasha said. “Because that doesn’t exist.”

Steve turned away from her to head back out to the front. “It does. I know. Peter knows. Maybe Clint would like to know too…” 

Natasha ran after him as he hurried out of the breakroom, laughing the entire way. She smacked him with a dishtowel as he took his place by the register. He waved his hand at her to get her to stop. He turned from her and of course, Tony was standing there. “Am I interrupting something?” 

Natasha grinned over at Steve before taking a step forward. “Actually, we were just talking about you--.”

“We were not,” Steve said, his cheeks burning. 

“He wanted to thank you for keeping him company last night,” Natasha said. “He gets very lonely on these cold December nights.” 

Tony laughed and it was a genuine laugh. Not one of those fake flirty ones he’d been doing. “Well, if he’d have me over again, I’d love to stop by again. I was actually hoping for your number, so we don’t have to go through our lovely friend Nat anymore.” 

Steve opened his mouth, ready to say,  _ Yes, of course. _ But he couldn’t get any words together. Thankfully, Nat saved the day once again. “He would love to give you his number. He’ll be all corny and write it on your receipt too.” 

Steve printed it out and got his drink ready. When he grabbed the marker and uncapped it. He took a deep breath, thinking this over. Giving Tony his number was breaking down a part of the wall he tried so hard to keep built up. 

He thought about Tony and how happy he made Steve. He remembered the butterflies in his stomach he had just thinking about him. He started writing the first few digits and then stopped. He was selfish. That wall was built up for Peter’s sake. Everything was for Peter. 

But then he thought about how good Tony was with Peter, even for only the short half hour he stayed. He thought about how happy he made Peter and how Peter couldn’t stop talking about Tony for the rest of the night. He smiled and finished writing the rest of his phone number. 

He handed it over to Tony, the smile still on his face. “I’ll see you tonight, Tony.” 

* * *

Later that night, Steve was in the middle of giving Peter his bath when his cell phone went off. Steve bit his lip to stop the smile when he read Tony’s contact name. Peter splashed in the water. “Is that Mr. Tony?”

“Why do you want to know, nosy?” Steve asked as he texted Tony back.

“I’m not nosy,” Peter said, splashing him with more water. “I just want to see him ‘gain.” 

“He’s coming by later today. Which is why you’re getting a bath, smelly.” Steve tapped Peter on the nose. 

“What about you?” Peter asked. “You’re smelly too.” 

“Me smelly? Nope. I took a shower while you were at school today.” Steve ruffled his wet hair. He’d been dropping by a sketchy gym by Peter’s school that only required a low monthly payment of $10. The showers were disgusting and he barely felt comfortable stepping inside the gym, but he needed to stay clean. Especially now with Tony hanging around. 

“Why do I always have to be stuck in the sink?” Peter pouted, kicking his feet in the small sink. “You said no more.” 

“I don’t fit in the sink, bud.” 

“I can fit in your shower.” 

Steve thought about the men that used that shower. He didn’t want Peter anywhere near them. “Peter, you’re not allowed in there. It’s not safe. You know I just want to keep you safe.” 

Peter’s slumped his shoulders. “I don’t like this. I miss the big tub.” 

Their big tub was smaller than a normal-sized tub, but to Peter, it was bigger than the ocean. “I’ll get you in it one day, but for now. It’s just not possible.” 

Peter sighed, nodding his head. “Okay. I won’t whine more. I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize. We’re going to get your bath all done before Tony gets here.” Steve said and like a miracle, just as he said his name, his phone started ringing. Tony again. He looked to Peter and said, “Peter, you need to keep quiet, okay? Papa has to take this.” 

Peter giggled and made kissing noises. He was spending too much time with Natasha. Steve flicked water at him before picking up the phone. “Hey, Tony--.”

“Did you two eat yet?” 

Steve thought back to the pastries they split. “We ate.”  

“Still hungry?” 

Steve looked down at Peter, specifically at the way his ribs were too protruding not to notice. “Yeah,” Steve said, trying to keep his voice from wavering. “We could always eat.” 

“Great! I’ll be over in 20 minutes with a pizza. Do you guys like pepperoni?” Before Steve could answer, Tony said, “You know what? I’ll get two. One with extra cheese and one pepperoni.” 

“That sounds good. Really good. Um, Peter and I have some donuts here for dessert--.” 

“If I see Peter eat another donut, I swear he’s going to turn into one. I’ll bring some dessert too.” 

“Are you sure?” Steve asked, feeling bad for taking advantage of him like this. 

“Of course. I’ll be there soon.” 

“Okay. Thank you. I’ll see you soon.” He hung up with Tony and then looked over to Peter. “Well, kiddo, I hope you’re hungry because that belly is about to be full.” 

Peter giggled and stuck out his stomach, patting it with his hands. “‘Peter’s always hungry.” 

He said it with a smile, but Steve still felt horrible. “Yeah, buddy...I know you are.” 

“Good. Because you better eat as much as you can,” Steve said lifting Peter out of the sink and setting him to the floor. He pulled some paper towels out of the dispenser to dry Peter off with. “But if you’re not in your pajamas by the time Tony gets here, no dessert.” 

“I’m getting dressed!” He went to run out of the bathroom, but Steve grabbed him. 

Pressing a kiss to his head, Steve said, “You’re crazy, you know that right?”

“Too crazy for Mr. Tony?” Peter asked. 

“If so, then he’s the crazy one,” Steve said, even though he knew Tony wouldn’t have a problem with Peter. It was the homelessness he was probably, most definitely, going to have a problem with. But for now, they didn’t have to worry about that. Not yet. 

“Papa,” Peter said. “I’m cold.” 

“Right. Sorry. Was just thinking,” he said, shaking his head. He carried Peter over to their bag and got him dressed in his favorite pajamas (his astronaut feetie pajamas) and gave him a smile. “All ready?”

Peter stared at him and leaned over to give him a hug. “It’s okay, Papa. You’re going to have a fun night with Mr. Tony.” 

That startled a laugh out of Steve. “Oh, you think so?” 

“I know it!” Peter said, giving Steve a big smile. 

Steve stared at him for a moment before pulling him forward in a hug again. “You always know just how to bring my smile back. How did I ever get so lucky to have you as a son?”

Peter shrugged his shoulders. “Because you’re my Papa maybe.” 

“Maybe,” Steve said, kissing him again. 

Whatever the reason was, didn’t change the fact that Steve had the absolute best son in the world. And even if it didn't work out with Tony, he always had Peter.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be like 12k with what I had planned, but I have a shitload of homework due that I need to do and I wasn't gonna start it until I got this up. So I hope this was enough. Seemed like a good place to end it. 
> 
> Clintasha ;)
> 
> More cuteness coming up soon.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 8k+.. wow this may be my longest chapter yet. I hope you enjoy it!

“Papa! Mr. Tony is here!” Peter yelled, jumping up and down in excitement. 

“I heard him know too, baby. But you know the rules. Back there,” Steve said, pointing towards the back room. 

Peter sighed heavily before stomping his feet as hard as he could the entire way to the back. It wasn’t that loud because his feet could only make so much noise. 

“Really funny, Mr. Dramatic. Get your butt in there before I eat your pizza.”  _ I would never. I promise I would never eat your food. _

While he was in the back, Steve walked over to the front door and opened it up to see Tony on the other side. He had two boxes of pizza in one hand and a bakery box in the other. “I knocked with my foot. Magic.” 

Steve laughed and he really wasn’t sure why he did. It wasn’t a joke, but he felt like he should laugh. “I’m very impressed,” Steve said as he opened the door to let him inside. Wait, he probably should-- “Here, let me grab something,” Steve said, reaching for the pizza boxes. 

“You don’t have to to show off, muscles. I’ve got this.” He lifted the boxes higher from Steve’s reach. “Where can I set this down?”

“Any table is fine,” Steve said, gesturing behind him. 

“Where is the munchkin?” He asked as he lowered the pizza down, followed by the bakery box. 

Steve smiled. “Just waiting on the all-clear. You wanna call him in?”

Tony smiled and turned to the back. “Hey, Peter!” He just barely had his name out of his mouth before Peter came running in. Thankfully, the bottoms of his feet were padded so he wasn't in danger of them losing traction on the floor. 

“Hi, Mr. Tony!” He yelled, waving enthusiastically. 

“Hello there, Mr. Peter!” Tony winked at him. “And look at you in that costume. Are you an astronaut?” Pete nodded his head and Tony looked up to Steve. “Steve, you didn’t tell me your son was an astronaut!”

“I don’t like bringing it up,” Steve played along. “He gets a little cocky about his space travel accomplishments.” 

Tony leaned down to tap Peter on the nose. “Is that so? How many times have you been to the moon?” 

“I haven’t been to the moon yet,” Peter said sadly.

Tony paused before ruffling his hair. “You’ll get there one day, squirt. I know you will.”

Peter smiled up at him. “You think so?” 

“I know so. And you better tell me all about it when you do.” 

“Maybe you could come!” Peter’s smile widened. “Papa is coming with me and we can fit you in our spaceship!” 

“If there’s room, I’d love to join you two,” Tony said without even an ounce of flirting in his voice. 

“If there are only two seats, I can sit on Papa’s lap,” Peter assured him, causing Steve to break out in a laugh. “He can wear the seat.” 

“Wear the seat?” Tony asked, confusion obvious on his face. 

Steve’s eyes widened. Tony didn’t know about the carrier and how Steve couldn’t function without Peter within a foot of him. That would send him running for the hills.  _ (Wasn’t that what I wanted at one point?)  _ “It’s nothing really-- why don’t we start eating before the food gets cold?”

Tony’s smile faltered, but thankfully, he didn’t question it. “Yeah. Sounds good. Do you guys have drinks here?” 

“I’ll get some water from the back,” Steve said, already going towards the back. “Pete, wanna come help me get it?”  _ I don’t need your help, I need you in my eyesight.  _

“Can I stay out here with Mr. Tony, Papa? I’ll be safe,” Peter said, giving him his puppy dog eyes. 

_ He doesn’t want you. He doesn’t need you.  _ “Um, yeah...yeah, ‘course you can, baby. I’ll be right back.” He went to the back and hurried as quickly as he could before he missed Peter too long. Just in case something...happened. 

When he came back out with three water bottles in his hands, he was relieved to still see Peter safe and sound. He was also surprised to see him laying out a blanket on the floor with Tony’s help. “What’s going on in here?”

“We’re having a picnic!” Peter announced happily. 

“It was squirt’s idea,” Tony said. “You wanna join us down here?” He asked as he brought the pizza boxes down with him. 

“Yeah,” Steve said, a soft smile on his face as he took a seat on the blanket. Peter immediately crawled over to climb into his lap. Wrapping an arm around him, Steve pressed a kiss to Peter’s head. 

Tony eyed them only briefly before opening the pizza box on top. “Who wants pepperoni?” 

“Peter prefers the cheese,” Steve said just as Peter said, “Me!” 

Steve frowned, looking down at Peter. “Really, Pete? I thought you didn’t like the pepperoni. Too spicy for you.” 

“I want the food,” he said, reaching for it with wiggling fingers. 

Tony hesitated but pulled a slice out for him and handed it over. “Here you go, Pete.” 

Peter took it and started eating it, making a face the entire way. Steve watched him and said, “Peter...you really don’t have to.” 

“We do have cheese. Extra cheesey.” Tony lifted the other box open and showed Peter. “You can have a slice of this.” 

Peter sat up a little straighter in Steve’s lap. “Food there too?”

“Yup,” Tony said. “This one is packed with cheese.”

Peter turned around and looked up at Steve. “Can I have that?”

Steve laughed. “Peter, you can have whatever you want.” 

With a smile, Peter put the plate down next to him. “I’ll save that for tomorrow.”

Tony eyed him. “Peter, you don’t have to save that. We can get new food.” 

“You’re gonna eat all of this pizza tonight?” Peter asked, sounding shocked. 

“Well...we can eat as much as we want. Whatever we don’t want, we can just throw out.” Tony waved his hand as he got a cheese slice for Peter. 

Peter immediately got upset at that and even Steve found himself wincing. “You can’t throw it out!” He yelled. “You can’t!” 

Tony’s eyes widened and he looked startled at the pitch of Peter’s screech. Steve hoped he never had to see one of Peter’s tantrums. “Um...I’m sorry.”

“Mr. Tony, you can’t do it ‘gain! Please no! There’s lots and lots of people that don’t even have food!” Peter looked at the boxes of pizza and it sounded like he was about to cry. Steve rubbed his back and hushed him quietly to calm him down. “We can’t throw it away!” 

“I’m sorry,” Steve immediately apologized. “He’s used to us volunteering at the church and saving the food instead of wasting it at the cafe. He’s very...passionate.” While the excuse was true, it wasn’t the _full_ truth. 

“Passionate about feeding the hungry?” 

_ He’s one of the hungry.  _

“Yes.” 

Tony turned to Peter and smiled. “Well, I’ll make you a deal, squirt. You eat as much as your little belly can handle and whatever we don’t eat, I’ll wrap up for you and you can keep it for lunch. Maybe trade a slice of cold pizza for something good at school, huh?” 

“Is that okay, Pete?” Steve asked. “No food will be wasted. Promise.” 

Peter relaxed in his lap, nodding his head. “I’m okay. Can I eat now?”

Tony handed it over for him. “Go ahead, squirt.” 

Peter took a bite of the pizza and leaned back against Steve’s chest. “Yummy.” 

Steve smiled and reached up to run his fingers through Peter’s curls. They were soft under his touch because of the bath he had earlier. He wished he could always keep it this soft. He just wanted to spend the rest of his life watching Peter eat and smile. 

Tony wasn’t going to let it stay like that though. “Uh, Steve, you want to eat?”

“Oh. Yeah, uh, I’ll just eat Peter’s other slice.” He lifted the plate and nodded at Tony. 

Tony smiled and then started eating his own pizza. “As long as you eat your own slice after that one.”  

“Peter’s gonna eat more than enough,” Steve said. 

“I know Peter will because he’s almost done with his first slice.” Tony stared at him pointedly. “But I’m talking about  _ you.”  _

“I’ll eat another. Don’t worry.” He huffed, taking another bite from Peter’s old slice. 

“Good.” Tony leaned back, staring up at the empty wall. “So, have any ideas for the mural yet?”

Steve smiled and nodded his head. “Yeah...I think I do.”

“What is it?” Tony asked, his interest piqued. 

“No can do,” Steve said, putting his finger over his lips. “It’s a secret.”

“Not even Peter knows?”

“Not even Peter.”

Tony raised his eyebrows. “Wow, this must be some secret then.”

“‘Nother slice please!” Peter asked, reaching out his greasy fingers for more. Tony happily handed him another slice of extra cheese. Steve smiled, watching Peter again.    
“Eat, Steve.” 

Steve nodded his head. “Okay, okay. I’m eating.”

“Thank you.”

 

As it turned out, Steve only had to be reminded a half dozen more times throughout dinner, but he ate three slices (Peter had 4). And when Tony pulled out dessert, he was still hungry for more. 

Peter was watching Tony pull the dessert box over on his lap. He didn’t leave Steve’s lap, though no matter how curious he was. Tony pulled a giant cannoli out of the box and showed it to Peter. “What’s that?” Peter asked.

Tony gasped, placing a hand over his heart. “What-- Peter Rogers, please tell me you’re joking!” 

“I’m...sorry…” Peter said, sounding unsure of himself. 

“He’s just teasing you, Petey.” 

“Oh, no. This is very important. No jokes.” He turned to Steve with wide eyes. “Please tell me why your son doesn’t know what a cannoli is.”

“Because...he’s never had one…” 

Tony let out another gasp, falling back (carefully) to the ground. “I can’t believe it. No cannolis! What kind of life is he living?”

“I’m Irish, Tony. His mother was British. Where would your cannolis come in?” Steve raised his eyebrows at his dramatics while Peter erupted in a fit of giggles. 

“It’s about time we got some Italian in you,” Tony said, smirking at him from where he was still laying on the ground. “Maybe in return, you can put your Irish in me…” 

Steve threw his paper plate at Tony as his cheeks burned red. “Tony, you better watch it!” 

Tony laughed as he tossed the plate back over. “I was joking! Oh, come on, do you think I’d actually use a pick-up line  _ that horrible?” _

Steve blinked. “Have you heard anything that’s come out of your mouth since you met me?” 

While Tony and Steve teased each other, Peter just started giggling even more. God, Steve loved that sound. He crawled out of Steve’s lap until he was over with Tony, who was so distracted with Steve that he forgot about the cannoli in his hand. But Peter didn’t. He used his mouth to take a bite of the cannoli once he crawled over. 

Tony and Steve both stared at him when he did. He pulled away and smiled, cream smudged on his chin. “Yummy!” He went to get another bite, but Tony pulled his hand away. 

“Hey, this is my cannoli!” Tony said, laughing at Peter’s eyes as they tracked the cannoli. 

“Peter’s cannoli!” Peter said, crawling over Tony to try and get another bite. 

Steve laughed as he watched Peter reach as far as he could with his hand. “Oh, come on, Tony, don’t you want to share?”

“These cannolis are the best you can find in New York! And this munchkin is just gobbling it down without even letting his taste buds enjoy the flavor!” Tony was holding it just out of reach of Peter. 

Peter wanted that cannoli. So, he stuck his little fingers into Tony’s sides and started tickling him. Tony let out a surprised laugh and the cannoli dropped from his hand...right into Peter’s. He stuffed the rest of it in his mouth and started crawling away back to Steve’s laps. Steve happily took him in his arms again. 

“Your son is a menace,” Tony said, sitting back up, no heat behind his words. 

“Yeah. He is.”

“Next time, I’ll have to bring more with me.”

“Next time?” Steve asked hopefully, as Peter stuck the cannoli by his mouth for him to taste a bite. 

“Yeah.” Tony smiled. “Next time.” 

 

And he did. Each night, he was at the cafe with dinner and dessert. He liked to change it up with the foods, but he always had at least one cannoli for Peter. 

It was nice...to say the least. 

He loved being able to have a conversation with someone else his own age. Peter was very mature for his age, but he still was only four. And Tony was great with Peter...the absolute best. That was all that mattered. He made him smile and laugh and Peter loved spending time with him. 

It was good for Steve to get time to work on the mural. Steve didn’t worry about them peeking because Tony was great at keeping him entertained. He had a bunch of different games for Peter to play with. Steve was painting one night when he turned around and saw them playing hangman. 

“Uh...E?” Peter asked, kicking his feet in the air as he laid on his belly. Tony was the same position just next to him. 

“Look at that! Two Es!” Tony filled them in on the paper. “You’ve got the Es and that S. So now you only need two more letters.” 

“Are they the same letter?” Peter asked. 

“What? You’re asking for hints now?”

“No,” Peter said, picking up an Oreo from the sleeve of cookies. He pulled it apart and started to lick the cream off of it. 

“Um, it sounds like you are,” Tony said. “I don’t give hints. Use that brain of yours that your pops always brags about.” 

“Um...P?”

“You asked about P already.”

“I was guessing Peter,” he said, licking the cookie some more. 

“You’ve got the two Es, but they’re in the wrong place and there’s no S in Peter,” Tony explained, so patiently. “So, try again.”

Peter finished licking the cream off his cookie and stacked them in a pile. He always saved those for Steve when they had Oreos. “T?”

“Hey! You got it!” Tony said, filling in a T. Steve smiled when he saw the word with only one blank. 

“What’s the last one?” Peter asked, grabbing another cookie. 

“Hey, can you hand me one?” Tony asked, opening his hand. Peter looked down at the one he had just opened and licked once before sticking it back together and handed it over. Steve waited for him to make a face and give it back, but instead, he just stuck the entire one in his mouth. He ruffled his hair as he turned back to the paper. “Okay, squirt, last letter. You got this.” 

Steve smiled, watching as Peter stumbled through a few wrong letters before finally, he guessed, “V?”

“Hey! You got it!” Tony said, clapping his hands. 

“St...stove?” Peter asked, reading off the paper. 

“Stove?” Tony repeated incredulously. “That’s an E, kid. Not an O.” 

“I don’t know…”

“It’s Steve!” Tony said. “Your pops’ name.”

Peter looked at him like he had five heads. “Steve? No. His name is Papa.”

Steve couldn’t help but break out in laughter at that. Tony turned to look over at him, smiling as well. “You think this is funny, Stove?”

Steve laughed even harder, holding his stomach through it. “I’m sorry-- I just-- I wasn’t expecting that, but damn, my son is adorable.”

“Must get it from his Papa,” Tony said, his smile growing as Steve continued to laugh. 

Steve rolled his eyes. “You never give up, huh?”

“Can’t. You never know which one can make you fall madly in love with me,” Tony said with a wink. 

_ You with Peter. I fell in love the moment I saw you two together. _

“You’re crazy,” Steve said, turning back to his wall. There was only a small space open where it was showing; the rest was covered by a sheet. He was keeping this a surprise, no matter how many times Peter and Tony tried peeking. 

“Maybe,” he said. “Speaking of crazy, though, I think your kiddo is crazy-ed out.” 

Steve turned around and glanced at Peter where he was leaning his head on Tony’s arm as he sucked on his thumb with drooping eyes. “You sleepy, sweetie?”

He nodded his head, still leaning against Tony. 

Tony smiled down at him and offered, “I’ll hold him while you finish up here.”

“It’s okay. I’ll carry him back there to lay down until we leave.”  _ Until we leave.  _ Because he told Tony they didn’t stay there all night and Tony believed him. 

Steve walked over and lifted him up in his arms. “I’m gonna carry him to the back. Be back soon. I’m almost finished with the wall, but don’t look,” he warned. 

“Okay, okay,” Tony said. “I won’t.” 

Steve eyed him before walking in the breakroom and sitting him on the couch. “You sit here with Elliot while I finish up in there, okay?” 

Peter pouted. “Papa, I need you.”

“I know you do, baby. I’ll be back soon. Promise.” He pressed a kiss to Peter’s head and ignored the way his lower lip trembled. He hesitated outside the break room door and pressed his ear to the door. He waited to see if he could hear Peter’s feet scamper across the floor. But he didn’t hear anything, so he assumed Peter stayed on the couch. He had to fight his own want to step right back inside and carry Peter out. He was trying his best to wean him and Peter off of this codependent kick they had. 

He walked back into the cafe and Tony was cleaning up after their games and food. He looked over his shoulder and smiled at Steve when he came back in. “Tell Pete that I wrapped up the chicken and rice if he wants it.” He gestured to the leftover Chinese food from dinner. 

“I’ll let him know,” Steve said, walking over to his wall. He was almost finished with the painting and as much as he didn’t want to finish it today, he knew he had to because he’d stalled as long as he could. 

“You almost done?” Tony asked. 

“Yeah. Probably 10 more minutes and then it’ll dry overnight.” Steve picked up his paintbrush again. 

“I am very excited to see how it comes out,” Tony said, sounding genuinely excited. Steve found himself smiling back. 

“This is the first time someone other than Peter is seeing my work,” he admitted. “I’m a little nervous. Sure, my four-year-old loves my art, but I think he’s a bit biased.” 

“I’m sure everyone is going to love your art. I’m a little jealous of Peter getting to see it.” 

Steve rolled his eyes as he continued to paint. “I’m not Monet, you know. There’s nothing special about my art.” 

“I guess we’ll have to see about that,” Tony said. “I’ll have to come back for the unveiling. If I’m invited.” 

“Please, like you need an invitation to come here and visit.” Tony came every day, even when he spent hours after hours with Steve and Peter. 

Tony just chuckled at that as he watched Steve continue to paint. He stayed silent, allowing Steve to finish up with no distractions (except for the nagging worry always in his mind wondering if Peter was really okay). When he finished up the last of the painting, he let out a sigh of relief and took a step back. “I’m all finished.” 

“And I still can’t see it?” 

Steve turned around and shook his head. “Nope.” He walked over to where Tony was sitting and took a seat next to him. “No peeking at all. You’ll have to wait.” 

Tony groaned dramatically. “This is killing me.” 

Steve smiled. “It’s only a painting.” 

“A painting by  _ the _ Steve Rogers. His debut.” 

Steve kicked his foot gently. “Don’t get yourself too excited. It’s nothing special.” 

Tony leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and his chin in his palm. “Just seeing you is enough to make my day.” 

Steve leaned forward himself, mirroring Tony’s pose. “You love your coffee that much, huh?”

“We both know I don’t keep coming here for coffee.” Tony grinned. 

Steve wanted to lean forward and close the distance between them. He wanted to know what it felt like to feel Tony Stark’s lips against his. 

He continued to lean in, Tony doing the same until they were only an inch apart. Steve didn’t want to stop and voice his worries. He didn’t want to remind Tony that dating Steve came with a kid. He didn’t want to have to think about the fact that he was living on the streets. He just wanted to do what he wanted for once. So he pushed all of his worries and doubts out of his mind as he closed the last of the few centimeters apart and--

“Papa!” 

He jumped off the chair and scrambled to his feet immediately. His heart was racing his chest and his cheeks burned as he stared down at Tony. He was staring up at him, his lips still slightly puckered. “I’m sorry,” Steve said. “I have to check on him. I shouldn’t have-- you should go.” 

Tony didn’t freak out like Steve was. Instead, he stood up and walked over to Steve to take his hand in his. “Hey, it’s okay. Don’t worry. Go check on him. I’ll pack up and go as long as you two are okay here.” 

Steve squeezed Tony’s hands and nodded his head. “We’re okay.” 

Tony smiled and leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to Steve’s cheek. “Good. I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

Steve nodded his head, trying to get his tongue to work again, but it wouldn’t. 

Tony laughed softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he confirmed before letting go of Steve’s hands. “You go take care of Peter. Tell him I said goodnight.” 

Steve nodded his head and watched as Tony got his stuff and walked out, glancing over his shoulder before he did to give him a smile. Steve smiled back. He would have stayed in that spot all night, lovestruck, but Peter’s voice broke him out of his trance. 

“Papa, I need you!” 

Steve hurried to the back and tried not to let himself get too scared. Peter was alone so no one could hear him and that wasn’t his ‘I’m hurt’ yell. Sure enough, he was fine. He was sitting on the couch with Elliot in his arms and the blanket wrapped around himself. “Pete, what’s wrong?”

“I’m tired,” he whined. “I can’t sleep.” 

“I know, baby, okay.” He walked over and picked Peter up in his arms. “I have to clean up in there though. Is that okay?” 

Peter was already snuggled against his chest, ready to sleep. “Mhmm,” he mumbled, exhaustion clear in his voice. He needed his sleep, especially now that he couldn’t fall asleep during naptime. 

He was fast asleep in his arms before Steve could even get back to the cafe. Staring over at the table Steve and Tony had just been sitting at, Steve found himself smiling again. Even if he didn’t get his kiss, he still got a peck on the cheek. That was more than enough to keep a smile on his face all night, even knowing that this was their last night guaranteed in warmth and safety. 

* * *

“He kissed you?” Natasha asked, her voice in a harsh whisper. 

“Shh!’ Steve said, looking around. “Yes. We were going to kiss...you know, on the lips, but Peter called me and he interrupted it.” 

She grinned. “Your son, the cockblock.” 

Feeling his cheeks heat up, he said, “It wasn’t like that. It was just going to be an innocent kiss.” 

“Tony Stark does not kiss  _ innocently,”  _ Natasha said. 

“Well, he did. He kissed my cheek. Just a peck. Nothing more and he wasn’t looking for anything more.” Steve said, smiling at the memory of that kiss. 

Natasha shook her head. “That man continues to surprise me with you. I still can’t believe he actually visited you two every night you worked on the mural. Dinner, dessert and he played with Peter? I’m sorry, but part of me doesn’t want to believe it until I see it.” 

“You know, maybe you just don’t know Tony like you think,” Steve said, not unkindly. He just didn’t understand why it was so hard for her to believe how Tony acted. When Tony was alone with just Steve and Peter, it seemed more genuine than when he was forcing out flirting in the cafe, surrounded by other people. 

“Everyone would agree with me, Steve. Everyone that knows him, knows how he is.”

Steve couldn’t understand that. Steve had been spending every night with him and he felt like he  _ knew  _ him more than anyone else that claimed to know him. “Maybe everyone is wrong,” he said, just shrugging his shoulders. 

“I hope they are,” Natasha said. “Because if he tries any of his games on you, I will kill him.” 

“How games? How do you know his games?” Steve asked with a frown. 

“He’s Tony Stark,” Natasha said as if that answered everything. 

“Oh,” Steve said, faking understanding. “Well, I think he actually likes me because he likes me.”

“And I’m sure he does,” she said with a smile. “You have to tell me when you guys actually kiss kiss though. Clint and I have a bet going to who makes the first move.” 

“Seriously?” Steve asked. 

“Yes. Seriously. If I win, he pays for the next round of beers when we go out.” 

“Aw, that’s sweet, taking turns paying for date night?”

“Watch it, Rogers,” Natasha warned. “And you better keep those lips of yours locked until he kisses them.” 

“Wow,” he said with a laugh. “You voted against me.” 

“Oh, come on. If it weren’t for Peter, I’d totally bet all my money on you being a blushing virgin.” 

“I am not a virgin!” He said, lowering his voice because really that wasn’t anyone’s business. 

“Obviously, you’re not. But I’m just saying...you give off the vibe.” 

“T-the vibe?” 

“Yeah, but you play it well. Maybe Stark is into that.” 

Before Steve could defend himself again, Clint came over to them. “Hey, Regis and Kelly, wanna wrap it up here and get to work? We’ve got to get ready pulling this curtain down finally.” 

Steve turned around and looked at the wall, still covered. They were going to show it off that morning, but Peter wanted to be there, so Natasha agreed to wait for Peter to come home from school. Tony promised to come back afterwards as well. 

“Calm your feathers,” Natasha said. 

Clint responded with a middle finger before walking to the break room to take his break. 

Steve laughed at the two of them. “You know if you make your move, we could go on double dates together. It’d be really cute.” 

“Rogers, you worry about your dating life.” Natasha flicked him right in the ear and he laughed. 

“Pot, meet kettle.’ 

“Watch your snark or else I’ll give mix espresso in Peter’s hot coco. Have fun staying up with him all night.” 

Steve knew she was joking, but the very thought of Peter hyped up any more had him backing down. “Okay, okay. I need my sleep. I’ll lay back on the snark.” 

“You better.” Natasha waved him away. “Now, get back to work.” 

 

Steve didn’t argue anymore as he went to the counter and worked until it was time to get Peter. Then, he walked to his school and carried him back. Peter was excited the entire way back to finally see Steve’s painting and listening to him go on about his excitement made Steve realize that he didn’t care who liked it and who hated it. As long as Peter liked it, he didn’t care at all. 

When he walked back inside the cafe, he was surprised to see Tony standing by the counter and waiting. He was there early. Steve smiled and walked a little faster to get over to him and smiled. He tried to calm down before he got his attention. He didn’t want to seem too eager. “Tony, you made it.” 

Tony turned around with a smile, his eyes going right to Steve’s chest. And then Steve remembered the carrier. ”Oh, is this the seat?”

Steve couldn’t tell if he thought it was weird or not. “Yeah. Uh, Pete is super lazy and doesn’t like walking.” 

Tony laughed, grabbing onto Peter’s little foot and shaking it gently. Steve hoped he didn’t notice the hole in his shoe. “Smart kid. If I could convince Happy to carry me around like this, I totally would.” 

“Mr. Tony!” Peter said, happily. “Are you excited to see Papa’s painting?”

“You bet I am, munchkin.” Tony let go of his foot and ruffled his hair, causing Peter to laugh. 

“Good, you got here just in time because we’re getting ready to drop the curtains now.” Natasha came between them, patting Steve on the back. “You ready?”

Steve nodded his head, despite the nervousness he felt at the thought of a bunch of strangers staring at his work. “Yeah. Let me just get this off.” He pulled Peter out of his carrier and went to set him down, but Tony stopped him. 

“I’ll hold the kid while you go up there.” He outstretched his arms. 

Steve smiled, handing him over to Tony. He felt more comfortable with him being in someone’s arms, especially with the crowd that was forming around them. “You got him?”

“I’ve got him,” Tony said, balancing Peter on his hip. “He needs a good view for this too.”

Steve placed his carrier on an empty table before walking over to stand with Natasha by the covered wall. He smiled at the people that were gathered around. He could recognize a few of them as regular customers and when he told them about the wall, he really hadn’t expected them to come all the way back for him. He figured that whoever was already in the cafe would see the uncovering. 

Natasha introduced him once everyone quieted down. “Thank you all for coming to see the debut of our first mural here at Fury’s Cafe. We asked one of our very own baristas to create it because he’s quite the artist.” 

Steve noticed the attention on him now and felt too nervous to even say what he wanted. He looked over at the front and center where Tony was standing, holding Peter and he smiled. He felt relaxed. “I don’t have a speech to give or anything to bore you with...I just want to say that this is dedicated to my son, Peter. Just like everything else I do.” 

Peter smiled and waved to him. Steve waved right back and people in the crowd smiled at them. He clapped his hands and yelled, “Go, Papa!” 

Steve laughed. “I guess that’s my queue to open these curtains up,” he said, taking one in his hands. Natasha took the other and nodded her head. Then together, they pulled on the curtains and unveiled the newly painted wall. 

The crowd started clapping immediately and Steve smiled at the praise. He took a look at it himself. It was him and Peter sitting across from each other at their table. Steve was holding a cup of coffee as he stared ahead at Peter, smiling and listening intently as Peter gushed on about something. He was kneeling on the chair and his arms were thrown up in the air. Of course, he had to paint in that fruity pebble donut. 

Natasha came over to him, grabbing his arm and smiling. “Steve, this is so cute! I love it!” 

Peter came running over to him next, Tony right behind him. Steve immediately picked him up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “How do you like it, bear?”

“That’s me and you!” 

“It sure is,” he said with a smile. 

“I love it, Papa,” Peter said, squeezing his arms around Steve’s neck. 

“Wow,” Tony said, letting out a low whistle. “You really are talented.”

“It’s not that good--.”

“Oh, no way,” Tony cut him off. “You’re not allowed to belittle your talent anymore. Not when I now see how amazing it is.” 

“Tony…”

“No, Steve,” Tony said, sounding every bit serious. “You’re really good. Extremely talented. I mean it.” 

Steve smiled bashfully at him. “Thank you.”

"Don't thank me for telling you the truth. This is really impressive," Tony said, taking another look at it. "I can't wait to see more of your art if you'll let me."

Steve smiled. “I’d love to. Peter keeps a few sketches in his backpack that you can take a look at some time.”

“Guess I’ll have to stop by another day after Peter’s done in school and you’re on a break.” 

“Yeah, I guess you will,” Steve said, feeling that same spark that was there last night. But then, people were coming over to congratulate him on his mural and by the time he turned to look at Tony again, he was gone. 

Steve was disappointed that he wouldn’t get to see him again tonight, but there was always tomorrow. They’d always have their coffee to look forward to. 

* * *

Unfortunately, the thought of Tony couldn’t keep a smile on his face. Not when Steve was carrying Peter out of the cafe after closing. “Outside again?” Peter asked, sounding almost sad. 

“Remember we had our spot in the warehouse?”

“Going back there?”

“Going back there,” Steve confirmed, hoping he wouldn’t be too upset. 

“But I like the cafe,” Peter whined. 

“I know, but we can’t stay there too long or else Nat might get suspicious.” Steve rubbed the top of Peter’s head. 

“This adventure is long.” 

“I know, but it’ll be worth it. I promise.” 

Peter groaned, but after that, he didn’t complain again the entire walk to the warehouse. Steve thought he was close to falling asleep when they finally got to the warehouse. Steve was quiet with him as he went up the steps, hoping that the blanket and the other bag they left was still there. 

When he saw it still sitting there, he sighed in relief. Too bad his relief only lasted a moment. 

“Put your hands up!” 

Steve’s heart skipped a beat as he whirled around, raising his hands. He couldn’t see the man’s face because of the flashlight shining in his face. He lowered one of his hands on instinct to cover Peter’s eyes. 

“Hands up!"

Steve’s hands shot back up. “I’m sorry, sir! I just--.” 

“I’ve been checking here for days, waiting for you to come back. You know this is private property, right? You’re trespassing.” 

Steve’s heart immediately started pounding in his chest. He couldn’t get in trouble with the police. Not when he had Peter. “I’m sorry! I don’t-- it’s the only place safe for my son. Please don’t…”  _ Please don’t what? Arrest me? _

The officer lowered his flashlight, just to shine on Peter. He let out a whine, kicking his feet and the light was gone. “I didn’t know you had a son…” 

“We were just camping out here. One night. We just forgot his blanket. We were heading back home--.”

“Sir, if you don’t have a place to stay--.” 

“No,” Steve said, immediately, wrapping an arm around Peter. “We do. We’re staying with a friend. Promise. You can call her if you want.” He could get Natasha to cover for him now and he could explain later. He just had to keep Peter with him. 

The officer sighed and took a step closer. “Sure, but if you don’t...you can stay here tonight, but you can’t stay here.” 

Steve wanted to cry at the thought of leaving here and being back where someone could hurt Peter again. “Of course. I’m so sorry.” 

“If your plans fall out with that...friend...please go to the shelter on Third and Lex. Ask to talk to Sam, he’ll let you in.”

Steve’s eyes watered. “Don’t take my son. Please.” 

“I won’t take him away. As long as you take care of everything with him, I won’t report this. But that means you have to go to the shelter where I know you’ll both be safe.” 

“Okay. Okay. Thank you,” Steve said, walking forward and holding out his hand for the man in the security jacket to shake. “Thank you so much.” 

The man took his hand in his and shook it firmly. The hand felt as hard as steel and as cold as ice. “No problem. And make sure you tell Sam that Bucky sent you.” 

* * *

The next day, Steve kept the blanket wrapped around Peter so no one could see him hiding in there. He glanced around them and whispered quietly, “Almost there, Pete. Just hang in there a little longer.” 

With a deep breath, Steve walked up the steps to the door and knocked on it a few times. He wrapped his arms around Peter while he waited for someone to open the door. When the door opened, a man stuck his head out with a frown. “I’m sorry, but we’re all full today.” 

Peter wrapped his arms around Peter tighter. This was their only place to go. “Um, I just...I’m looking for Sam.”    
“‘I’m sorry, sir,” the man said. “But--.” 

“Please,” Steve said, his voice cracking. He pulled the blanket off of his chest and showed the man that he had Peter. “Please help us.” Before the man could shut the door in his face, he added, “Bucky sent us. He said to let you know.” 

The man’s eyes widened. “You know Buck?”

“I, uh, we ran into each other. He said we’d be safe here.” Steve wrapped the blanket back around Peter when he felt him shiver in the carrier. “Please. We have nowhere else to go.”

The man sighed and stepped aside, “Come in. We’ll figure something out.”

Steve rushed inside, already saying his thanks. Dozens of times. 

“Hey, don’t thank me, man. You don’t have to.” 

“You’re keeping my son safe, of course, I do.” 

The man smiled and held out his hand. “I’m Sam Wilson.” 

Steve took his hand and shook it. “Steve Rogers.” 

“And who’s the little guy?” Sam asked, glancing down at Steve’s chest. 

Steve forgot about the blanket over him and pulled it off of him. “This is my son. His name is Peter.” 

“He’s precious,” Sam said softly. He hesitated before he asked, “Steve, what’s uh, what’s going on? I’m sorry-- I don’t know anything about you or your story. Are you looking for something permanent?”

“Oh, right. I’m sorry. I um, we’re okay, we just…” Steve trailed off, not sure how to tell Sam what was going on without endangering Peter. 

“You don’t have to lie here,” Sam said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “We will keep you and Peter safe. You’re safe here.” 

“We were staying in an abandoned warehouse. I’ve been struggling with jobs and money lately, but I’m saving up. I’m trying. We plan to have a house soon.” 

“Well, you both are welcome here as long as you need,” Sam said. “We don’t have any open beds tonight, but I can give you the couch in my office. We’ll get you both a cot for long-term.” Sam started walking them down the hallway. 

Steve followed him, arms still wrapped around Peter. “Oh, don’t worry. We share anyway. We don’t want to bother you too much. A couch is more than okay.” Considering, Steve was used to sleeping a concrete floor in that warehouse, it was welcomed. 

“Well, we’ll still get ou at least one coat. I’m sure there’s one in the back we can dust off. We just gotta see who would be willing to have you two squeeze between them.” He winked and opened up the door to a large room full of cots. There were dozens, each with a man or woman occupying them. 

“Are you sure you can fit another one in here?” Steve’s arm tightened around Peter subconsciously. There were a lot of people that Steve didn’t know here. 

“They’ll make room. They always do,” Sam said. 

“Who are they?” Steve asked. “I mean...there are women and children shelters, shelters for men...there’s a mix of adults in here and I don’t know...is it okay if Peter’s here?” Steve noticed a lack of children in the room. And it wasn’t because there weren’t any children cold on the street. 

“This is my shelter for veterans,” Sam said. “I’m a veteran myself, but not all are lucky like me. A lot of them come home with nothing and they have PTSD and they can’t get jobs...they end up on the street. We help them...until they can get back on their feet.” 

Suddenly, Steve felt horrible for being there. “Am I taking the spot that a veteran could have? That’s not right-- I’m not anything like that--.”

“Hey, man, calm down. You’re fine. We’re full, remember? And we’re a place full of regulars. When someone new comes, we make room. So, if we get more people, we’ll make room. You don’t have to worry.” Sam patted his arm once before taking a step back. 

“If you want, you can put him down here and help me pull the couch into here.”

Steve wanted to keep him in the carrier, but he didn’t want to hurt him. So he pulled him out and set him down by his feet. However, when Steve followed Sam into his office, Peter was right at his feet. They carried the couch back through the hallway, Peter following them carefully. 

Sam and Steve set it down against the wall where there was space. Steve smiled at Peter and lifted him back up. “We’ve got a place to stay, bud.” 

But Peter wasn’t looking smiling back. His eyes were full of tears and his fingers were fisted tightly in Steve’s shirt. “Lots of people,” he whispered. “Safe?”

Steve nodded his head. “Yes, baby. You’re safe. I promise that no one here will hurt you.” 

“I want just you,” he whispered, sounding scared. 

“I know, Petey, but it’ll be okay. You want to just close your eyes? I’ll hold you like always and you’ll fall right asleep.” 

Sam cleared his throat, taking a step forward. “I don’t want to interrupt. I understand being wary of strangers, given your situation, but maybe it would help if you introduced yourselves to everyone.” 

Now Steve was feeling paranoid for no reason. “Talk to them all?”

“You’ll be okay,” Sam said in a low voice. “I promise.”

Steve took a deep breath and nodded his head. “Yeah, sure. Okay.” He started walking with Sam right behind him, Peter still in his arms. 

“Hey, everyone,” Sam said. “I’d like you to meet Steve and his son Peter.” 

The room was silent and the others just sat staring until one of the men stood up with a smile. He had red hair and bright blue eyes. “The name’s Timothy Dugan. But everyone calls me Dum Dum.” 

Peter broke the silence after that with a giggle. It sounded a little wet from the tears he was struggling to fight. “Dum dum?”

“That’s my name, kiddo. Yours is Peter? Got any cool nicknames?” Timothy-- Steve couldn’t refer to a grown man as  _ Dum Dum.  _

“My Papa calls me Bear,” Peter said, letting go of Steve’s shirt. 

“Bear? Well, that’s pretty dang cool. You know how to roar?” 

“Roar?” Peter asked, relaxing in Steve’s arms. 

“Yeah, dude. Give us your best roar.” Timothy said. 

Peter looked up at Steve and Steve nodded his head with a smile. Peter grinned before turning to face Timothy. He let out a roar that was as terrifying as a puppy growling. Timothy jumped back, pretending to be scared. 

He placed a hand over his heart. “Woah, man. Your kid has quite the roaring master!” 

Peter giggled before roaring again. Timothy yelped covering his eyes before peeking through his fingers. Peter stared at him, tilted his head and asked, “Is that a real mustache?”

“Oh, it sure is. Wanna try to pull it off?”

Peter turned back to Steve with a grin. “Can I?” 

“Yeah, baby, go ahead.” He pulled Peter out of the carrier and set him on his feet. Peter only hesitated a moment before he was running over. Timothy bent down so Peter could reach over and tug on his handlebar mustache. Timothy yelped again and Peter giggled. 

“You know what, Peter? You’re pretty cool.” Timothy said, holding his hand up for a high five.

Peter smacked his hand against his. “You’re cool too, Dum Dum!”

“How about we go around to my other friends to show you how cool you are,” he said. 

Peter immediately started inching backward. “Papa…”

“Your dad will always be right there. Don’t worry.” 

Peter nodded his head, almost reluctantly, glancing over his shoulder. Steve gave him a smile. “Go ahead, sweetie. I”m right here with Sam.” 

 

Peter started close to Steve, always looking back with each new bed he went to. The veterans always greeted him with a smile, a smile that Steve hadn’t seen on their faces at all that night. Before long, Peter had met everyone and was running from one bed to the next, having the time of his life. Somehow, he rangled a few of them into a game of tag and they were having a great time. 

Steve turned to Sam as they watched Peter jump on the back of one of the men. “I’m sorry he’s disrupting you guys. They all looked ready for bed before we came in.” 

“Don’t apologize,” Sam said immediately. “They weren’t ready for bed. They were just…” Sam trailed off and the only sound in the room was Peter’s giggles and others’ laughter. “They haven’t smiled like this since they’ve been here.”

Steve didn’t know what to say to that, so he stayed silent, just watching Peter jump on a cot with a smile. 

“It’s hard for them to feel happy...they don’t have much to smile about. And Peter? He’s exactly what they need. Just to get their minds off of everything. You have no idea how good this is for them.” Sam ran a hand over his face. “You have no idea how good this is...you two are like a miracle.”

Steve shook his head, letting out a heavy sigh. “Truth is, I don’t feel like a miracle. Peter rarely smiles like this anymore either. And it’s because of me. He’s terrified of people, he never wants to leave my side, and he had nothing stable in his life. That’s  _ my  _ fault.” 

“You can’t blame yourself for this,” Sam said. 

“Why not?” Steve scoffed. “When my four-year-old son acts like adult veterans with PTSD...all because of the life I gave him...how can I not blame myself?”

“You know...it’s not only veterans that have PTSD. Any traumatic event can upset anybody. Especially a child.” Steve’s eyes widened when Sam said that. Peter couldn’t have PTSD--. “Now, before you get upset, I’m saying your son has PTSD. But I am saying that he’s obviously still shaken up from whatever happened. You seem to be too. And that’s okay.” Sam gave him a small smile. 

“He shouldn’t have even had to go through it. He should just be a kid.” 

“He is a kid and look at him. I think he’s pretending to be walking on the moon right now.” Sam pointed over to where Peter was taking large steps in slow motion. Steve smiled. “Take it slow. You’re giving him what he needs. He’s happy. Just remember that.” 

“Some times are harder than others to remember,” Steve admitted. 

Sam wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Well, right now, he’s happy. He’s smiling and laughing and he’s safe. So, just let yourself relax for a night. It’s okay.” 

“You know, Sam, I may not be the miracle here, but I think you are. Thank you.” 

Sam looked at him with a small smile. “I’m glad. Something tells me you were in need of one.” 

_ Yeah, I really was.  _


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update? Already? Am I literally obsessed with this story? yes
> 
> Warning for panic attack in the end of the chapter

“So,” Natasha said, “How’s the love life going?”

Steve furrowed his brow as he handed her the marked cup she had to fill with coffee. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, come on. You’ve been smiling all morning. What did you and loverboy do last night that’s got you so happy?” She grinned at him before facing the coffee machine. 

The only thing that could make him smile this much was Peter. Peter being happy and safe was the main reason lately. Which was why Steve couldn't stop smiling at the thought of them having a temporary place to stay overnight. “We’re not even dating, Nat.” 

“What?” She asked, her eyes wide as she handed over the coffee cup. “You two are obviously head over heels for each other. Hell, you’ve almost locked lips. He’s kissed you! How are you not dating?”

Steve shrugged his shoulders. “We just never made it official and that’s fine. As nice as it was to spend time with him these past few nights, I don’t really have time to date.” 

Natasha groaned loudly. “And here I thought I was finally getting through to you. Steve, you need to let yourself be happy. I'll give you days off if you need. You work way too much anyway. You don’t even work nights. Just take him out for dinner.” 

Steve’s smile was starting to falter. “I can’t just take him out for dinner.”  _ I can’t afford to pay for the dinner.  _ “Peter can’t just stay home alone and I doubt Tony wants to go on a date with a four-year-old tagging along.” 

“If you don’t have anyone to watch him, I would love to babysit,” she offered without hesitation. 

“You don’t have to do that,” Steve said. He hated how alone he was. The only other person he and Peter had in their lives was Steve’s boss. 

“I never do anything I don’t want to,” Natasha said. “I love that kid. Watching him would be a lot of fun.”

There were plenty of reasons to say no, but for a moment, he ignored them all. He just thought about what would make  _ him _ happy. “You don’t mind?”

Rolling her eyes, she said, “Of course I don’t mind. Now, you’re going to ask him out today. No more wasting time.” 

“Woah-- what?” Steve asked, suddenly feeling nervous.”I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. You’re going to do something super cheesy when he gets here.” She snapped her fingers. “You’re going to write him a note on his cup asking him out for dinner.” 

“Natasha, come on.” 

“No. You come on,” Natasha said. “Do not chicken out. Oh, look here he is now.” She winked at him before taking a step back. 

Tony came up to them with a smile on his face. Steve was grateful that he’d just about dropped the cocky flirting when he realized that wasn’t going to work. “Good morning, blue eyes. How are we doing this morning?” 

“I’m doing great, Tony,” Steve said, his lip quirking slightly. So maybe he got rid of the horrible flirting, but some of it was appearing to stay. Like ‘blue eyes’. 

“How many people came up to compliment you on your mural? I hope every single person that orders from you tells you how amazing it is.” He glanced over at the wall. “I mean, who wouldn't love that?”

“Enough flattering. Your usual?”

“Yes, sir.” 

Steve picked up a cup and started marking it for Natasha. He hesitated and thought about what she said. Should he really ask him out with a coffee cup? Would he find that sweet or just weird?” He shook his head before writing “Dinner? :)” on the cup and shoving it into Natasha’s hand to prepare. He heard her laugh as she did so and she was still smirking when she handed it back to him. 

Steve turned and gave her another cup to fill while he took Tony’s order and handed it to him. “Enjoy your drink, sir.” 

His plan was for Tony to take the drink and maybe notice the message in his office so he could text Steve a response later. But of course, Tony noticed it right away and after his eyes paused to read it, he turned back to him with a smile. 

“Dinner? How romantic,” he crooned. “I would love to.” 

Steve smiled, feeling just as excited as he was that morning. “Really?”

“You bet. How’s tomorrow? I’ll pick you up at your place. We’ll text more details later, don’t wanna distract you from work.” He pushed his sunglasses back on his face before blowing Steve a small kiss with a smirk. Steve wanted to reach out and grab it and then keep it forever. But he wanted to play it cool just as Tony was. So he smiled right back until he had to serve the next customer. 

It wasn’t until a few customers later when Steve realized one problem with this plan. 

_ “I’ll pick you up at your place.”  _

He was so screwed. 

* * *

“Come on, man, you are not screwed,” Sam told him later that night as they were handing out dinner. Peter was sitting with Timothy as they talked with one of his friends. Peter loved listening to their war stories and they loved telling them. 

“How can I go on a date? I’m literally living in a shelter. I think he’ll notice when he comes to pick me up.” Steve sighed. “I should just text and cancel. Tell him I forgot Peter had a meeting at school.” 

“Oh, you are not lying your way out of this.” Sam shook his head with a scoff. “You already told me that you’ve got a friend to watch Peter, even though you know he’s always welcome here.”

“I know he is, but he’s still nervous around people. I don’t even know how leaving him with my friend is going to go. He handles school okay, so I’m hoping this will work too.” 

“He’s never going to get over his separation anxiety until you start stepping away.” 

Steve knew that, but he also knew that Peter wasn’t the only one with separation anxiety. Steve hating leaving Peter somewhere and even if it wasn’t as extreme as it was for Peter, it still made him anxious. But he had to ignore that. He had to for Peter. “It’s just hard because I want what’s best for him, but it also kills me when he’s anything less than happy.” 

“It’s only bad at first,” Sam assured him. “It’s always gotta get worse before it can get better.” 

Steve nodded his head. “Don't I know it.” 

Sam patted him on the back with a lopsided grin. “Then don’t worry about it so much, man. Enjoy the night. You deserve it. Something tells me that your friend doesn’t know about your... situation.” 

“She doesn’t.” 

“Then, just drop Peter off and have him meet you there,” Sam suggested. “There’s nothing suspicious about that.”

“You sure?”

“Positive,” Sam said, giving him a reassuring smile. “And you better text me all the deets. I want to know how it goes.” 

“You sound like a teenage girl.” 

“You’re acting like one with all of this lovey-dovey crap. Don’t go blaming me now.” 

“Fine. You’ll get your gossip, okay?” Steve rolled his eyes with a smile. “And if you spread it around this room, I will kill you.” 

“Don’t you worry. They’re gonna know all about your booty calls.” 

“What’s a booty call?” 

Sam and Steve froze at the same time, both looking at each other in terror. Sam mouthed the words, ‘I’m sorry’. Steve shook his head, letting him know with his eyes that he was going to kill him later. Then he turned around to where they heard Peter’s voice. 

He smiled and kneeled in front of him. “Peter, did you eat yet?” 

“You can’t distract me,” Peter said, crossing his arms over his chest. “What’s a booty call?”

“A booty call is when, uh…” Steve looked up at Sam, looking for any help here. He just shook his head. Steve turned back to Peter and hoped he would believe his bullshit. “Booty calls are when you sit on your phone and accidentally call someone without realizing it. Your booty calls.” 

Peter stared at him and for a second, Steve was waiting for his four-year-old son to call him out. But then he started laughing. “That’s funny. Were you making booty calls?”

Steve shoved his foot out to kick Sam when he started laughing. “I didn’t make a booty call, Pete, but I did make a call to Nat and wanted to talk to you about something.” 

Peter’s laughter was gone immediately and he frowned. “Do you have to go back to work?”

“No,” Steve said, reaching out to hold his hand. “I’m not going back to work tonight, bud. I was talking to her as a friend, not my boss. I’m going out tomorrow and she’s going to babysit you.”

“Nat?” Peter started to tug anxiously on his shirt. “Nat’s safe?” 

“Yes. She’s safe. You know that, bear. And I’ll be home after dinnertime. I promise it’ll only be a few hours.” He tried to smile so Peter stopped looking so anxious. If Steve was calm, then it was easier for Peter to be. 

“Where are you going?” Peter stepped forward, reaching out to grab Steve’s hand. 

Steve took it and squeezed it. “I’m just going out to dinner with Tony.” He waited for Peter’s reaction to see if he was okay with it because if he wasn’t, Steve would cancel it right away. 

“Like a date?”

Steve hesitated. “Yeah...like a date.” 

Peter smiled. “You’re gonna dress up handsome for him?” 

“I’m gonna try, but you know I don’t have a wide selection right now.” Steve smiled tightly, hating that dressing up for him was picking the cleanest outfit in his backpack. 

“I hope you have fun,” Peter said. “Ellie and I will stay with Nat.” 

“So, I can go?” Steve asked as his smile grew. 

“Yes, you can go!” Peter said, nodding his head. 

Steve pulled him in for a hug and ruffled his hair until Peter shoved his hand away with a laugh. “Thank you, buddy. I’ll bring you home so food. Promise.” 

“Cannoli?” He asked, sounding excited. 

“I don’t know if they’ll sell those where we go to dinner, but knowing Tony, they probably will.” 

Peter turned to look up at Sam and informed him with his innocent little grin, “Mr. Tony is giving him a lot of ‘talian. He wants Papa’s Irish.” 

Sam threw his head back, howling with laughter at that. He tried to speak, but he couldn’t get any words out. 

“Do you find this funny?” Steve asked as his cheeks burned. 

“I’m sorry," Sam wheezed from all of his laughter. "But, you better give him that Irish. Show him what he’s missing.” 

“Why are you doing this? Do you hate me?”

“Usually, I bust Buck’s balls, but you’ll have to do for now.” He smirked, patting him on the shoulder. “You’re a much better sport about it.” 

“Don’t expect it to last long. When Peter isn’t by my side, listening to every word I say, I’ll bite back.” 

“Oh, I wouldn’t bite that Italian of his. Most guys don’t like that.” 

“Peter, will you excuse me?” Steve asked, standing up as Peter nodded his head. He turned around to face Sam and said, “You better start running if you don’t want me to tackle you to the ground.” 

“You beat me? Ha. I was in the United States Air Force. I can get away from you easily.” 

“Let’s see,” Steve said, charging him. 

Sam laughed, running away from him, jumping over cots in his way. There wasn’t much room to run and on one jump, he tripped over the bed and fell onto the mattress. He was still laughing the whole way down. Steve smirked as he leaned over him. “Give up?”

“Look at you. Practicing for when you have your loverboy on his back like this?” Sam managed to ask without laughing until he finished the question. 

“That’s it.” Steve grabbed the pillow by Sam’s head and shoved it over his face. He grinned, looking at everyone else. “Hope no one here likes him too much.”

Timothy came over with Peter at his heels. “Aw, you know, as much as this amuses me, I didn’t get my food yet. So maybe just let him go long enough for him to finish handing all that out.”

Sam shoved the pillow off his face and glared up at Sam. “Thanks a lot, Dum Dum.”

“Papa, off!” Peter said through his own laughter. 

Steve got off of Sam and leaned down to lift Peter up. “Okay, buddy. If you say so.” 

Sam stood up and his smile was more serious now. “See? Just keep him laughing. You’re keeping ‘em all laughing.”

“And that’ll be enough?”

Sam nodded. “As long as he’s happy, it’ll always be enough.”

Steve hoped he was right. 

* * *

The next night, Steve was as dressed up as he could be: black pants and a polo shirt. He looked like he was about to go to a job interview rather than a date, but at least it wasn’t one of his old t-shirts and stained jeans. 

“You look so handsome, Papa!” Peter said as he got ready to go. Tony would be getting there soon. 

Steve smiled down at him. “And you’re sure that you’re okay with me going?”

Natasha huffed. “You’ve asked him four times already, Steve. He’s happy for you and we’re going to have a good time here.”

“I’m going to be gone a few hours and I won’t be out too late, but at least try to get some sleep, bud.” Steve knew that even if Peter wanted to, he wouldn’t be able to. “I’ll try, Papa.”

“Thank you, baby. I just want you to get your sleep.” He smiled down at him and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “And if you need me or anything, Nat will call right away and I’ll come back to get you.”

“I’ll be okay, Papa. Promise. I want you to have fun!” He said, bouncing on his feet. 

“I will. But not as much fun as I have with you.” Steve tapped him on the nose. 

Peter lifted Elliot up and waved his little hand at Steve. “Bye-bye, Papa!” Peter said in his Elliot voice. 

Steve rubbed his Elliot’s head. “Goodbye, Elliot. I will see you soon.” He turned back to Peter. “You go finish up your homework and get ready for dinner, okay?”

“You’re leaving now?” He asked, his voice growing small. 

“I want to talk to Nat first, but then, I’ll be going.” Steve gave him the best smile he could to relax him.  _ Come on, Peter. We can do this. We can be apart. Just like school. _

“You heard him, I’ll be there soon to help you.” Nat ruffled his hair before Peter nodded his head. He only paused a moment before wrapping his arms around Steve and running back towards the other room. 

Once he was gone, Steve straightened to his full height and looked down at Natasha. “Thank you so much for watching him.” 

“Don’t worry about it. You know I love spending time with the kid. And you deserve this. Seriously. When was the last time that you had a night just for yourself without worrying about Peter?”

Steve wanted to answer that, but even he didn’t know. Ever since they got pregnant with Peter, he was always on Steve’s mind. He was his son, of course, he was. “I don’t know...5 years ago.” 

Natasha looked at him with maybe a bit of pity in her eyes, which Steve hated. But it wasn’t because of his financial situation so he didn’t let it bother him too much. “You need time for yourself too. Yes, you’re a father But you’re also a human. You don’t always have to be Papa. Sometimes, you can be just Steve.” 

Steve laughed softly at that. He didn’t blame Natasha for her words. She had no idea what it felt like to have a child. “Nat, even if I wanted to stop being Papa, I couldn’t. But I’ll put Papa on the side tonight. As long as he’s safe here and you promise to call if  _ anything  _ happens.” 

“Of course,” Natasha said. “But we’ll be fine. Just pretend like he’s at school and you’re having a date. Would you be so worried?”

“Yes,” Steve said without missing a beat. 

Natasha pursed her lips with a slow nod. “Okay, fine. You always worry when you’re not together. But tonight is the night to fix that. He’s going to be fine and you’re going to be fine. It’s going to be okay.” 

Steve took a deep breath and let it out. “I know. I’m sorry. Of course, I trust you.” 

“Good. Now go down there and for once, just let yourself have fun. Please.” 

 

Steve planned on having fun. Especially with Tony. But that was proving extremely hard for him as he walked down the stairs and out of Natasha’s apartment building. He didn’t like leaving Peter behind. He wondered if he was sitting by the door, waiting for him to come back already. He hoped not. He wanted Peter to have fun too. 

Even Tony’s horrendous flirting couldn’t distract him from Peter as he greeted him and opened the car door for him. He barely heard a word he was saying and he barely noticed just how attractive he looked dressed up in his suit. A suit that was even more expensive looking than his normal ones. 

It all only got worse when Tony pulled up in front of a very fancy restaurant and a valet driver was already at his door, ready to take the car from him. Steve was silent as the man took his keys, got into the car and drove away. He watched the car go-- the car worth well more than Steve would ever make in his entire life. 

But as expensive and nice as Tony’s car was, there wasn’t one star on the ceiling. Steve would take his old beat down car over that one any day. 

“Hey,” Tony said, taking his hand. “You okay?”

Steve turned back to Tony and realized he had barely said one word the entire drive. “Uh, yeah. I was just distracted I guess.” 

Tony kept his hand in Steve’s as he led them towards the front door. “I can tell. Are you thinking about Peter?” 

Just the fact that Tony knew Steve was worried about Peter had him calming down. “Yeah, this is uh, I don't ever leave him unless it's for school."

"He's okay with Nat," Tony said. "I'm sure he'll have a great night."

Steve nodded his head, hoping Tony couldn’t notice how sweaty his palms were. 

“Don’t worry,” Tony said, lowering his voice so only they could hear. “We're just having dinner, nothing to worry about.” 

Steve couldn’t help but relax a little more. “Thank you, Tony.” 

“Not a problem, blue eyes,” Tony said, squeezing his hand one more time before letting go to open the door for him. 

Steve laughed and rolled his eyes. “What a gentleman.” 

“Only the best for you, sir,” he said with a wink. 

Steve stayed a few inches behind him as he checked them into the restaurant. The hostess led them to their table and Steve took a seat, looking around the room self-consciously. He was way underdressed for this place. 

Focusing on Tony was easy enough to try and ignore everything else. Tony sat across from him and Steve didn’t take his eyes off of him. Tony ordered them some dishes and (non-alcoholic) drinks to the table. 

Once their waiter took their orders, Tony finally returned his full attention. “I ordered you something good, don’t worry.” 

Steve nodded his head, feeling horrible about not being able to read a damn thing on the menu. “I’m sorry. I just don’t speak Italian.” 

“Don’t worry about it. Most people don’t.” 

Steve kept wanting to look next to him to see Peter sitting there in a booster seat. But he knew he wouldn’t be there. He had to distract himself. Tony was the only thing that could ever distract him from Peter. “Where did you learn?” 

“My mother,” Tony said, his face immediately lighting up. “Everything good about me I learned from her.”

“She sounds like a wonderful woman.” 

Tony’s smile turned sad. “Yeah, she was…”

Immediately, Steve felt like a jackass. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you--.”

“I thought you knew,” Tony commented.  

“I wouldn’t have brought her up if I did,” Steve insisted. 

“You don’t have to avoid her. I like talking about my mom. I like it a lot.”

“Then do it.” 

“Excuse me?”

Steve smiled. “Tell me all about your mother. Please.” 

Tony chuckled, eyeing him. “Usually, talking about mothers is a big turn off on dates.” 

Steve shook his head earnestly. “I want to know more about you. She’s a big part of you. I can tell.” 

That was all Tony needed to hear before he was telling Steve all about her. “Her name was Maria and let me tell you, she was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. She used to sing me lullabies while she played the piano. Usually in Italian. She took me to Italy every summer while my Dad was busy with work. She was my best friend. Her and Jarvis were-- the family butler.” 

_ Family butler. Trips to Italy every summer. Piano.  _

Steve tried not to think about their financial differences and focus on what they had in common. “Your mother sounds lovely. You know, I’m a bit of a mama’s boy myself.” 

Tony laughed, leaning back in his chair, looking more relaxed. A glimpse of the Tony he saw in the cafe, eating pizza on his stomach with him and Peter. “Oh yeah?”

Steve nodded, closing his eyes and seeing her again. “Sarah Rogers. She was a pretty woman too, just like yours. Blonde hair, blue eyes...the kindest smile. She was a nurse, both at work and at home. I was a sickly kid,” he explained. “Can’t remember a summer where I wasn’t in bed for weeks sometimes. I’ve grown out of it, but she would always take care of me.” 

“You sick and in bed? I can’t even imagine,” Tony said. 

“My immune system has drastically improved, so don’t worry about that,” he joked. “But when I was young, she was always there. Every time I needed her, she was there. We didn’t have much...especially when my dad was laid off, but she always kept a smile on my face. That was all I needed. Her and a smile.” 

“She sounds like a great mom.” 

He turned away from Tony’s smile when he continued. “She was. I wish you could have met her...I wish...I wish Peter could have gotten to know her too. But she got sick when my wife was pregnant. She held on long enough to hold him the night he was born. She was just waiting to meet her grandson.” 

“Steve, I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s alright. She got to hold him, that’s all she wanted. He’s named after her, you know.” Steve smiled. “His middle name.” 

“You named your son Peter Sarah Rogers?” Tony asked, covering his mouth when he started to laugh. 

“No, I didn’t name my son Sarah. Peter Thomas Rogers. Her maiden name was Thomas. If he were a girl, he would have been named Sarah.” 

“I want to name my daughter Maria,” Tony said softly. “Couldn’t imagine naming her anything else.” 

The idea of Peter holding a baby girl, their baby girl and his little sister, had Steve smiling. “That sounds beautiful.” 

Tony nodded his head, leaning forward again. “So now that we’ve introduced each other to our mothers, what else would you like to know?”

_ Not his father. If he asked Tony about his father, then he would expect Steve to talk about his. Steve didn’t want to talk about him. Especially to Tony.  _

“Well, honestly, I don’t very much about you. You know that I’m a barista and I love to draw and you know about Peter...but the only thing I know about you is that you like coffee. A lot of it.” 

“You don’t know anything about me?” Tony asked, seeming very confused. 

“Am I supposed to?” Steve asked. “I’m not one to stalk my date before going out with them.”

“You don’t have to,” Tony said, shrugging his shoulders. “Usually, everyone knows everything about me.” 

“Well, I don’t.” Steve grinned. “So, what do you do for a living?”

Tony blinked. “I run...Stark Industries.” 

Steve wished that made any sense. It sounded familiar, but not enough. “Oh, you run a business? What is it?”

“What is it?” Tony repeated, incredulously. “Wait, you’re being serious? You seriously don’t know who I am?”

Steve shifted in his chair, feeling uncomfortable suddenly. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. You’re Tony Stark…”

“Yes. Tony Stark. Of Stark Industries. Multi-billion dollar company.” 

Steve’s mouth dropped open and his eyes widened. “You’re-- You--  _ multi-billion?”  _

“You really haven’t heard of Stark Industries? We make computers, phones, all kinds of tech.” 

Suddenly, Steve felt so stupid. He didn’t have any of that or regular access to the internet and news. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry.” 

Tony reached forward and took Steve’s hand in his. “You don’t have to apologize, Steve. I think it’s nice to finally be with someone that doesn’t know me, actually. Most people are always after the money--.”

“I’m not after your money,” Steve said immediately. “I didn’t know you were rich-- I mean, I can tell you have money, but I didn’t know you were a billionaire.” 

Tony squeezed his hand again. “Hey, it’s okay. I believe you. I can tell you’re not after my money.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you. I’m a little embarrassed,” he admitted.

“You’re cute when you’re embarrassed then,” he said in a low voice. 

“You flatter me too much,” Steve said, enjoying every minute of it. 

“No such thing.” Tony leaned closer and Steve started to as well. He thought they were finally going to get that kiss when the waiter came back with their food. 

His hands felt cold when Tony let them go. He wished he could reach over and grab his hand again. The waiter set down a plate in front of each of them. There was more food on the plate than Steve had seen at once in a while. Tony spoke a few words to the man in Italian and then he walked away, leaving them alone. Steve stared down at his pasta with a smile. 

“What’s that?” Tony asked. “You like that? Ti piace quando parlo italiano?”

Steve looked up when Tony said that. He hoped he wasn’t drooling. 

“Posso parlarti italiano tutta la notte se vuoi. Solo io e te.” Tony pressed his foot against Steve’s shin as he spoke. 

“I don’t know what you’re saying, but don’t stop. Please.” Steve bit his lip, intertwining his leg with Tony’s. 

“As much as I’d love to, caro, our dinner may get cold. But afterwards...well, I wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise.” Tony winked. 

Steve grabbed his glass of water and started to drink it, hoping the ice would help cool him down. “I would like that...very much so.”

Tony laughed as he turned to his own food. “You’re so cute.” 

Steve smiled at him before he started to eat his food. “I hope Peter is doing okay,” he found himself saying. “I hope he’s eating.” 

“I’m sure Nat is filling him up, don’t worry. But we can bring him back a cannoli.” 

“It’s just the first time I’m leaving him like this. I just worry too much about that kid,” Steve admitted. He was also worried Peter was blabbing everything to Natasha about their adventure. “I’m sorry for bringing him up on our date-- I don’t know if that’s bad...date etiquette...I haven’t been on a date in years.”

“Honestly, I wouldn’t want to know about a date’s child usually.” 

“Oh,” Steve said, hunching his shoulders. 

“Hey, don’t get like that. I said _usually._ You’re not my usual date. You’re different. So, I don’t care how the usual etiquette is, but I want you to talk about Peter. Talk about him all you want. Please.”

“I miss him,” Steve said. “Whenever I’m not with him, I miss him so much.” 

“You’re a great dad.” Tony was now rubbing his foot up and down Steve’s leg. 

“He deserves the best. Just like my ma gave me.” 

“Dad wasn’t around?” Tony asked, sounding hesitant to find out the answer. 

At the mention of his dad, memories of alcohol and anger and bruises came rushing back. “When he was, I wish he weren’t.” 

“Yeah, my dad was pretty shitty too.” Tony stuck a forkful of pasta in his mouth. “But I know when I’ve got a kid, I’m going to do the opposite of him. Something tells me that you know exactly how not to treat Peter.” 

“Yeah,” Steve agreed. “But enough of them. I wanna know more about my handsome date.” 

“You know, I went to college when I was 15. The stories I have to tell, well I don’t even know where to begin.” He tapped his chin with a hum. “I’ll start the day I met my Rhodey...” 

* * *

When they finished eating and Steve wrapped up his many leftovers (and the cannoli he ordered just for Peter), the waiter came back with the check. Steve felt horrible that he couldn’t afford to even try to take the check. He knew Tony was going to cover it; he made this reservation and he was the billionaire. But even if this meal was only pocket change to Tony, he still hated the way his stomach twisted. 

He shouldn’t have asked, but he wanted to know: “What’s the damage?”

Tony’s eyes flickered up to Steve and he replied, “Don’t worry about it, Steve. I got it.” 

“I know, but...I feel bad,” he admitted. He knew it was a fortune; the menu didn’t even list the prices. 

Tony turned his attention from the check to Steve. “Don’t. Please don’t. I didn’t take you here to make you feel bad. I have the money and I want to spend it.” 

Steve nodded his head, trying not to get too upset over the fact that there were people that could spend hundreds on a dinner like it was not an issue, but there were also people like Steve that never had more than a hundred dollars to their name. It wasn’t Tony’s fault he was so successful. “If you’re sure.” 

“Of course, I am.”

Steve knew he was, but that didn’t make him feel any better. He stayed silent as Tony took care of both the bill and the tip. Then, when it was time to go, Steve found himself upset again. Not because of the money, but because he didn’t want the night to end. 

Of course, he missed Peter, but he also enjoyed just having some time alone with Tony. As much as he loved Peter and his entire life was dedicated to him, it was nice to just be Steve and not a pops for once. He knew he’d feel guilty about that thought later when he was holding Peter again, but for now, he just wanted to enjoy his time with Tony. 

“I’m having the valet meet us a few blocks down,” Tony told him as they walked out of the restaurant. “I don’t want to drop you back off just yet.” 

Steve smiled and reached over to grab Tony’s hand without thinking. Tony held tight to his hand right back as they walked down the streets. “Thank you for taking me out,” Steve said. 

“It's my pleasure, caro.” Tony started to softly stroke Steve’s hand with his thumb. “If you’d like to, I’d love to do this again.” 

Steve nodded his head. “Another date sounds perfect. But you don’t have to always go all out, you know. Just us walking down the street like this is the perfect night for me.” 

“You didn’t like my attempts at wooing you?” Tony teased. “First my flirting and then my fancy Italian food? What else is left for me to do?”

Steve turned to face him, their hands still intertwined. “I have an idea.” 

Tony faced him as well, his eyes falling to his lips. “Oh, yeah? What’s that?”

Steve let his eyes flutter shut as he leaned forward, puckering his lips slightly.  _ Sorry, Nat, you’re about to lose this bet--. _

“I’m sorry to bother you, sirs, but do you have any change to spare?”

Steve’s eyes snapped open when he heard the new voice. Tony was just as surprised, but he was able to react normally only a second later. “I don’t usually carry cash, but I’ve got some.” 

Steve couldn’t move as he stared at the man in front of him. He was obviously living off the city streets but for much longer than Steve and Peter had been. He was sickly skinny, unshaven, and dirty. 

“Thank you, sir,” he said to Tony. “I have children. My wife is with them. We don’t have money for dinner.” 

Tony handed him a few bills and the man took them quickly. “I hope that helps.” 

“Thank you, sir. Thank you.” The man sounded close to crying and looked like he wanted to wrap his arms around Tony to hug him, but he stopped last second. He gave him a smile before hurrying off the other way. 

Steve watched him run, still frozen in his spot. 

“That’s so sad,” Tony said. “He’s got to beg on the street just to eat. And his children...they’ve got to live that life too” 

Steve’s heart was beating out of his chest. He pulled his hand away from his side so Tony couldn’t grab it again. 

“I know they don’t like it, but it’s so hard not to pity them. They don’t have access to food or showers to wash. No human should have to live like that.” Tony shook his head. 

Tony pitied him. Tony wouldn’t want to be with him. He’d be the person that Tony would hand money to. He wouldn’t be the person he’d take on dates. What if Tony knew? What if he knew how dirty and poor Steve was? What if he knew what Peter was going through because of Steve?

He would hate him. 

He’d find out soon enough when they were dating and he’d hate Steve for lying to him and hurting Peter. 

“But anyway,” Tony said. “Where were we?”

“I have to go.” 

“What?” Tony sounded lost. “Did Nat text you? Is Peter okay?”

“He’s fine,” Steve said. “I just have to go. I’m sorry. I can’t do this.” 

Tony looked hurt by his words but nodded his head anyway. “Oh, okay. Well, the car is only a few more blocks away. I’ll drive you home.”

“No,” Steve said. “I have to go.” He didn’t wait another second before he was hurrying away from Tony. He felt himself teetering on the edge of a panic attack and he wasn’t about to let Tony see it. He wasn’t going to give him another reason to pity him. 

Tony called out his name, but he didn’t chase after him, thankfully. He kept a fast pace down the street until he was far away from Tony and that restaurant. He slammed his back against a brick wall as an attempt to ground himself. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to control his breathing before it got out of control. He tried to forget how nice this night had been and the horrible way it ended. He didn’t want to think about Tony because even if he had been the source of relief in Steve all night, now he had the exact opposite effect. 

The one and the only person that could never cause Steve to panic (unless he was doing something stupid) was Peter. So he took deep breaths in and held them and then released them slowly all while thinking of Peter. His boy. 

It took a few moments for him to calm down again, but he avoided his panic attack. Thinking of Peter’s smile was always a sure way to make Steve’s own lips quirk. 

“You’re doing this to him,” Steve whispered to himself. “You’re the reason he isn’t as happy as he should be. Because you can’t provide for him. You need to do more.” 

He had to do something. The cafe job wasn’t enough. Not to find a stable place for Peter to live. 

The sound of loud laughter had him opening his eyes and looking across the street. There was a group of men, dressed in the same expensive suits that Tony wore. He could tell by the way they were yelling and stumbling that they were drunk. They only waited on the street for a minute before a car was pulling up and they were all crowding in. 

Steve waited for them to drive away before he looked both ways down the street and ran across. He knew what kind of place it was before he read the sign, but he wanted to make sure just in case. 

_ You need to do this. For Peter. You’d do anything to keep him safe.  _

Steve grabbed the door handle and glanced around a few times to make sure no one was watching before he threw open the door and stepped into the dim-lit building. The music was loud and the place stunk, but he didn’t expect anything different. 

He stuck close to the wall and out of the way as he watched the few people on stage finish up and wave goodbye to the crowd as they whistled and hollered. He stared down at his feet to avoid everyone around him. He didn’t like it here and he didn’t belong, but he knew it was his only choice. If he wanted to give Peter a better life, it started here. 

Just like Sam said, it had to get worse before it got better. 

So he waited for a woman, wearing nothing but a set of glittery underwear to walk past before he stepped closer and said, “Ma’am, I was wondering if I could speak to a manager? I’m interested in applying.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a Big Project due next week that I haven't started yet but I've been giving all my extra time to this..someone tell me to stop!! 
> 
> oh wait....already started writing the next chapter:) don't wanna leave you hanging for too long


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so remember at the end of the last chapter I said that I have many big projects due this week (two tomorrow)..did you think I did them? Nope. I spent my weekend writing the next 4 chapters of this fic (30k words). I need self-control but I don't want it. Here's the longest chapter so far, at 10k words. 
> 
> Earlier in the fic, I used Rumlow's character as a worker that made a brief appearance, but I decided to go back and edit his name to a different character because there's a new character that I can't imagine being anyone else other than Brock Rumlow. 
> 
> Also, this chapter is where we get a little more into the strip club scene. If that makes you uncomfortable, then this may be a spot for you to hop off, but I don't see anything triggering about it. It is just now a main plot point in Steve's life. Also, there are several mentions of past child abuse.

“You’re hired,” were the first words out of the man’s mouth when he came out and saw Steve sitting at the bar. 

Those were the same words he had practically killed himself to hear for every job the past few weeks. But now, they didn’t give him that same sense of relief or accomplishment. “Wait, seriously?”

The man was what Steve imagined any strip club manager to look like: tall and stocky, greased hair, scruffy facial hair, and a smirk that could mean nothing but trouble.  He laughed loud enough to be heard over the music and cheering and threw his arms open wide, making an obvious show of checking Steve out. “Look at you, man! You’re eye candy to anyone.” 

Steve felt his cheeks heat up and he wanted to turn around then. Was he really that desperate? He thought of Peter asking for a new pair of shoes and Steve having to say no. Yes, he was desperate enough. “Um, thank you-- I guess.” 

“No, thank you! You’re gonna get quite an audience here once I have you up on that stage,” he said. 

Steve glanced over at the stage where he saw a man rolling his hips in a way that had the audience going crazy. He looked away immediately. “I was wondering if you had an opening as a waiter, actually. Something not on stage…” 

The man crossed his arms over his chest. “Something not on stage? Sure, but not for a man like you.” 

Steve hoped he would let him stay out of the spotlight. Maybe he’d change his mind, but right now, Steve wasn’t going to be up there. There was no way he could move his body like that even if he wanted to. “I won’t be as good as you think I’ll be up there.” 

He scoffed, taking a seat next to Steve at the bar. “Please. You don’t need a skill. Go up there, pull your pants off and the ladies will go wild.”

“I don’t--.” 

“Let me get you a drink,” he said, interrupting him. “Just to calm your nerves.” 

“I shouldn’t…” Steve started, shaking his head. 

“I insist. It’s on the house.” The man gave him a smile, waving the bartender over and two drinks were in front of them before long. 

Steve knew he shouldn’t for many reasons, but he was so tired of being responsible. He was tired of always being so worried. He hadn’t had a drink in years because alcohol wasn’t exactly in the budget when you were struggling to raise a son. Why shouldn’t he be allowed to relax? “Okay, I’ll take it. Thank you.” He paused, looking down at the drink, debating it one last time before he downed the drink in one long gulp. 

The man smirked, waving the bartender over again. “We’ll just keep those coming while we talk.” 

Steve’s throat was still burning from the first drink, but he wasn’t about to argue free drinks. Nat wanted him to go out and have fun. Hell, that’s what he was going to do. 

“I’m just not comfortable with being on the stage.”

“All of our workers here go on stage. You won’t get much just working at the tables. And even those are not just taking drink orders. Working on the floor requires lap dances for some customers.” The man took a sip of his own drink. 

Steve didn’t know why he was surprised at this; he came to work at a strip club. There wasn’t any way for him to avoid taking his clothes off for people. He downed another drink at that thought. “I’m not good. I can take orders without messing up. Nothing more.”

“Listen, blondie, if you want to take orders to tables, go to a diner. We both know why you’re here.” He poured more alcohol into Steve’s cup. “Dancing isn’t as bad as it seems. With your body, you’ll make a killing.”

Steve drank more, shaking his head. “I can’t dance. I don’t know how to move my hips like that.” He tried to rotate his hips as he sat there, but it didn’t work. “See?”

“I’m not going to just shove you up there. I’ll introduce you to our best dancer and she’ll show you how it’s done. There is nothing to worry about.” The man continued drinking, much slower than Steve was. 

“I don’t know…” Steve mumbled, staring down at his drink. 

“Take a minute, have a few drinks,” the man said, patting him on the back. 

Steve took that advice to heart and by the time the music was changing, Steve was definitely feeling the effects of the alcohol. He looked over to the man, who was still staring at him patiently. He couldn’t imagine himself up there on that stage. He didn’t have that confidence. 

But Peter...Peter needed that money. He was relying on Steve and Steve wasn’t earning enough. He was like his father: jobless and unable to support his family. He didn’t want to be like that man. 

“Good money?” He asked, his hand tight on his glass. “I need good money.”

“If that perky little butt of yours is up there shaking on stage, then yes. Very good.” 

Steve took another mouthful of alcohol. He didn’t want to be up there but the money…

“Don’t know how. Don’t know if I can.” 

The man patted his back again. “Come to the back, show me what you’ve got and I’ll introduce you to Amora.” 

“I just need the money,” Steve said, stumbling off his seat. 

“Which is exactly why we’re gonna go to the back and talk over your job. We’ll discuss your pay, schedule, and stage persona.”

“Stage...persona?” Steve repeated, frowning. 

“You can’t go up there as Joe off the street--.”

“M’name is Steve.” 

“--You need to have something sexy and fun. Like Amora goes up there and she’s The Enchantress. I’ll let you look through a few costumes in the back and you let me know which you like best.” He wrapped an arm around Steve’s shoulder and started leading him away from the bar and towards the back. 

Because of the alcohol, when he saw a man in a pair of tight shorts grinding against another as he sat at his table, he didn’t look away. He stared, realizing that was going to be him. But then the dancer pulled away and took a few bills from the man. Big bills. 

Steve needed this job. 

When they got to a back room and the man opened the door for him, Steve stepped inside and he said, “I’ll take the job.”

“Really?” The man smiled, clapping his hands together once. “That’s the right decision, blondie. Now, I’ve gotta find a name for you...see any you like on that rack?”

Steve turned around and the room spun way too fast. He squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for it to stop. When he opened them again, all he saw was glitter and thongs. He didn’t like. He pushed through the underwear until a jacket caught his attention. A jacket was clothing, more so than just a pair of panties. He pulled it off the rack and lifted it up. “How’s this?”

The man laughed as he took a step towards him. “Oh, you like that one, huh?”

It was a military jacket that reminded him of Sam. “My friend’s in the Air Force,” he mumbled. Maybe he’d earn enough money to give some to him and help out the veterans. 

“Well, that one has a pair of dog tags in the pocket you can wear and it comes with these…” He pulled shorts off of the rack as well. They were printed with the American flag pattern. 

“Please tell me that’s not a thong,” he mumbled. 

“Put ‘em on and find out,” he said, tossing them over. 

Steve caught them and quickly turned them around, thankful to see his cheeks would be fully covered. He let out a sigh of relief. 

“Now let’s see...Colonel, Lieutenant, Major...no…” He suddenly snapped his fingers. “Captain!” 

“Huh?”

“Your stage name, remember?” The man came over and extended his hand. “Welcome to the show, Captain America.”

* * *

Somehow, Steve managed to stumble his way back to Natasha’s apartment. He didn’t know the time, but he knew it was later than Natasha expected him. It was later than he planned to be out. He’d just tell Natasha that he and Tony went out for drinks and they stayed out late. Hopefully, she’d believe that. 

He poked the buzzer for her apartment number and waited to hear the click of the lock opening. He stepped inside, walking very slowly and carefully. He didn’t want to faceplant. He made it to her floor and door number without an incident and leaned against the wall as he knocked The door was slamming opening less than a second later. 

Natasha grabbed his arm and dragged him inside. “Where the hell have you been?”

Oh, no. She sounded angry. “I was on a date.”

She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “Yes. You  _ were.  _ But then Tony texted me,  _ hours ago,  _ to let me know that you ran off. Where have you been and why the fuck to you smell like a bar?”

“We got some drinks before I left,” Steve lied after a moment to actually think of a lie. 

“Don’t try to bullshit me, Rogers. Tony doesn’t drink.” 

“Neither do I,” he mumbled. He wasn’t sure why Natasha was so angry, but Steve didn’t like angry. Maybe she knew he was mooching off of her. Maybe she knew his secret. His heart started racing as he looked around the room wildly. He needed Peter. If she knew and she was angry, he needed to take Peter and go. 

“Steve, what the hell is wrong with you?” Natasha reached out and held his wrist, but her grip wasn’t tight enough. 

He shoved her hand off of him. “Where’s Peter?”

When Natasha answered him, she sounded less angry and maybe even a bit sympathetic. “Peter’s in the guest room.”

Steve needed to get to him now. He tried to push past her, but Natasha grabbed his wrist again. “What the hell are you doing? I just got him to sleep, you’re not waking him up.” 

“I need to go. I can’t. I have to get him.” 

Her grip on him tightened and her voice turned angry again. “Oh, hell no. You are not waking him up or taking him anywhere.” 

“I have to,” Steve said, sounding panicked. “We have to go.” 

“No. Neither of you have to go anywhere. You’re sleeping on my couch.” Natasha didn’t let go of his arm and Steve wondered if her hand would leave behind a bruise. He hated hiding bruises.

“I need Peter. I need him.” Steve looked behind her, wishing he was awake and heard him.  _ Come out here, Peter. I need to see you.  _

“You’re not going in there to wake him up. You’re not taking him anywhere in this state. If you really want to go, then leave. But, Peter isn’t going with you.” 

Those words turned Steve’s gut and he wasn’t worried anymore. He was terrified. He felt his legs shake as he shook his head. “Please, no.” 

Natasha’s anger lessened as she grabbed his other arm with her hand. “Steve, what--?”

His legs buckled and he fell to his knees. Natasha squatted to follow him down. She stared at him with wide eyes, but Steve could barely tell through his blurry vision. “Please don’t take Peter from me.” 

“Steve, I’m not taking him. I just don’t think it’s safe for you to take him home tonight.” Natasha let go of his arms to hold his hands. 

Steve didn’t believe her. He couldn’t. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please. Please don’t take him. I’m a good father. I promise. I try my best. I do.” 

“Hey, hey,” Natasha said between his rambles. “Calm down, Steve. I know you are. You’re just drunk and I don’t want you do anything stupid.” 

“Too late,” he muttered, shaking his head. He let go of Tony...stupidest thing he could have done. 

“I don’t think so,” Natasha said quietly. “You’re not hurt and you’re here. Peter’s here and safe. Nothing you can’t fix.” 

Steve wasn’t sure how long he’d been crying for, but Natasha was suddenly wiping his cheeks gently. “I need Peter,” he whispered in a broken voice. 

“Peter’s sleeping now. If you promise you won’t wake him up, I’ll let you see him, okay?” Her voice was soft and Steve was glad for that. He didn’t like Angry Natasha. 

“Need him,” Steve muttered pathetically. 

Natasha nodded her head. “Alright. Come on, he’s in here.” Natasha held onto his hand as she lifted him up off the floor. He leaned against her slightly as she led him towards the hallway. Once they reached the door that was slightly ajar, she turned to him and warned him, “Remember, do not wake him up.” Steve nodded his head, keeping quiet. Finally, she pushed open the door and the light from the hallway shone in, showing a small lump under the blankets. Peter. 

He took a step inside the room, but Natasha grabbed his wrist. He looked back at her helplessly. “I need to lay down next to him.” 

“You’re not going in there this wasted.” 

Steve shook his head. “Peter needs me. If he wakes up and I’m not there, he’ll be upset.” 

“Steve, I’m sorry, but no. God forbid, you wake up in the middle of the night to puke your brains out, you’re going to scare the crap out of Peter.” Natasha pulled him back out of the room and Steve wanted to fight her. Even this drunk, he would fight anyone for Peter. But Natasha wasn’t just anyone. She was safe. 

“Peter,” Steve whispered, staring at him. He should be curled up on Steve’s chest with Elliot in his arms. He shouldn’t be alone. 

“Peter will be okay. But, you can’t go in there right now. Next time you want to consume an entire liquor store, think about him before you do. Maybe that will stop you from doing something stupid again.” Natasha pulled the door until it was only a few inches open. Then she started to lead Steve back to the couch. “You’re sleeping on the couch. I’m going to get a garbage pail for you. Do not get up.” 

Steve wanted to ignore her and sneak back to see Peter. But then he remembered his own father stumbling home from the bar drunk and Steve could always smell him before he even came into Steve’s room. He remembered how he would squeeze his eyes shut and steady his breathing so he thought he was asleep. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. Steve didn’t want Peter to ever know what that felt like. 

Steve passed out on the couch thinking,  _ I’m just like him.  _

* * *

If it were up to Steve, he would have slept in for another few hours. Anything to get rid of the pounding in his skull. But his stomach had other ideas. Like getting rid of everything in his stomach. Immediately. 

He rolled to his side, getting ready to find somewhere to hurl, but thankfully, there was a pail right by his feet. He didn’t have a chance to wonder why it was there before he was curling around it and vomiting up whatever little was in his stomach. 

He was letting out way too much, considering how little he’d been eating. But his stomach continued to cramp up until he emptied it entirely. Even after there was nothing left, he was still dry heaving into the pail. 

When that finally stopped, he groaned and lifted his head up. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and was ready to look around and figure out where the hell he was when a familiar voice said next to him, “Finally done?”

He jumped, looking at his side where Natasha was sitting with her hand on his back. He hadn’t even realized she came in. He was still trying to catch up with what the hell was going on. “What…?”

“I thought the Irish were supposed to be able to hold their alcohol,” she said, raising an eyebrow. 

“Alcohol?”

“Yeah. You decided to get shit faced yesterday. Remember anything?”

Steve couldn’t answer her. Not when the only thing he could remember was his own father, years ago. He had lost his job and instead of going to find a place to work, he spent every night at a bar. When he wasn’t at the bar, he was home. He didn’t go to bed until he smacked around either Steve or his mom. When Steve was old enough to understand, he made sure it was always him. 

“I’m just like him…” Steve whispered. 

“Just like who? You kept saying that as you tried to fall asleep.” Nat handed him a glass of water, but Steve’s hands were shaking too much to hold it. 

He turned around as much as he could to face her and asked a question he didn’t want to know the answer to. His heart pounded in his chest as he took a shaky breath. “Did I hit him?”

Natasha looked scared and concerned at the same time. “Hit who? Tony? Is that why you left?”

“Not Tony. Peter. Did I hit Peter?”

“No,” Natasha said immediately. “Of course, you didn’t. Why would you have hit Peter?” He stayed silent as he tried to calm himself down. He didn’t hit Peter. He wasn’t entirely like his father. Not yet. “Steve.” 

He finally looked back at her and whispered, “I don’t want to be like him.” 

_ “Who?” _

“My father.” Natasha froze for a moment and Steve wished she would react. Do something. Anything. He felt his eyes burning as she just stared ahead at him. “I’m not him.” 

That had Natasha shaking her head to break herself out of her stupor. “Steve, you’re not like him. You didn’t hurt Peter. You would never hurt Peter. We both know that.” 

Steve reached over and grabbed her hand. He needed something sturdy to anchor himself to. “I can’t lose him. He’s all I have. If they take him away--.” 

“No one is taking him away, Steve,” Natasha told him, holding his hands in hers. She was caressing them softly with her thumbs. “You didn’t hurt him. There’s no reason to. You were just a little drunk.” 

Steve wished she knew. He wished that someone knew so he wasn’t always holding it all on his shoulders. If he could just talk to someone and figure out what to do, things would be so much easier. He wouldn’t have to be in this alone. “You don’t know.” 

“Then tell me, Steve.” 

“I can’t.”

“Listen...whatever you tell me, I won’t take him from you. I would never take him from you.” Her eyes were so earnest that Steve believed every word. 

Saying these next words meant there was no turning back. Once she knew, she knew. And if she changed her mind, then CPS was about to come knocking. He took a deep breath and stared down at his lap when he said, “We don’t have a home.” 

“What?”

“Peter and I don’t have a home. Since last month. He had an asthma attack and with the hospital bills, I fell behind on rent...even more than I already was. We’ve been homeless ever since.” He stared down at their hands and she didn’t let go immediately in rage or disgust. That was a good sign. 

“Where the hell have you two been sleeping?”

“First, in my car and then a motel and then outside and then a warehouse and then the cafe and now, we’re at a shelter.” Saying it out loud sounded worse than it seemed in his head. 

“That’s why…” Natasha trailed off as she most likely began to piece everything together. “I mean, I knew you guys were struggling, but I didn’t think it was that bad…” 

He snapped his head up to meet her eyes. Begging always worked better with eye contact. “Please don’t call the police or CPS. I’ve kept Peter safe the entire time. I’m going to get us a place to stay. Please. If they take him away, I’ll never get him back.” 

Natasha leaned closer and squeezed his hands. “They’re not taking him away, Steve. Peter is your son.” 

“If I can’t take care of him they can. They can give him to a new family that can give him a good life.” Steve felt the tears spilling over his eyes again. 

Natasha paused. “Is that what you want?”

Steve shook his head rapidly. “No. God, no.” 

“Then that’s not going to happen.” 

“But--.” 

“They can only take him away if you’re not taking care of him. But, he’s fed, he’s happy, and he’s got a roof over his head, so they can’t take him.” 

“We don’t have a home--.”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “You’re moving in here. With me.” 

Steve’s eyes widened, but he didn’t want to say a word and ruin it. Was this a joke? Was he dreaming? 

“Hello? Earth to Steve.” Natasha let go of one hand to wave it in front of his face. “Hey, roomie, you with me?” Steve nodded his head once. “Good. I needed a roommate anyway. Super lonely.”

Steve still couldn’t believe what she said. “Wait-- wait-- roommates?”

“Yeah. You know, when two friends share an apartment. Roommates.” 

“You’re letting us stay?” Steve asked, his voice shaking. 

“You think I’m going to kick you guys out on the street when I have an empty guest room?” She asked, sounding slightly offended at even the idea of it. 

“No, but…”

“But nothing. You’re welcome here as long as you need. On one condition.” 

Steve paused, his heart dropping. He didn’t care what it was, he would do it. “What?”

“You need to talk to me. You can’t keep this shit bottled in. Tell me when the last time you had anyone to go to.” 

Once again, Steve couldn’t remember. “My wife. Ever since she passed it’s been just me and Peter. That’s why I can’t lose him...I’ve got nothing left…” 

“You’re wrong, Steve. You’re not alone. You’ve got not only Tony, but you’ve got me. Everyone needs a friend. And I will happily be your friend. You need to have someone to talk to and trust. Something tells me that you’ve been holding a lot on your shoulders lately.” 

Steve nodded his head but didn’t say a word because he was afraid of his voice breaking. 

“So, then it’s decided. You’re moving in. And you’re letting me help.” 

“I don’t want to be pitied,” he said, his voice cracking. 

“I don’t pity you,” she said. “I want to help. I love you and that little guy. That means that when you’re in need, I”m going to help you.” 

“You’re not mad at me?”

“For trying to hide this? Maybe a little, but that’s only to bust your balls. Really, I’m just grateful that you finally told me. I know you’ve been struggling and you don’t need to. It’s going to be okay.” 

“Thank you,” he whispered. 

“You’re welcome.” 

“I should probably go wake Peter up for school before he’s late then.” 

Natasha raised her eyebrows. “It’s almost noon, Steve.” 

Steve’s eyes widened. “What? But Peter--.”

“Peter is fine. He’s at school. I dropped him off this morning.” She shook her head. “Scared the hell out of me when I went into his room and he wasn’t there. He must have gotten up during the night and found you. He was sleeping on your chest this morning.” 

Steve let out a breath of relief. Peter was safe at school. “He needs to sleep with me. He can’t sleep without me.” 

“Yeah, I see that…” Natasha said, sounding almost sad. “I didn’t realize why.” 

“Someone tried grabbing him...the day with the scrape on his cheek. That’s why I got the carrier. Ever since we’ve both been extra clingy…” 

“Oh, Steve…” Natasha said, her eyes filling with sympathy. 

“I’ve been trying to work on it to help him, but I need him just as much as he needs me,” he said, his voice cracking at the end. 

“That’s why I’m here. I’m going to help you both. Don’t worry. Just tell me when you need something and you know I’ll help you.” She squeezed his hand. 

Steve chuckled awkwardly. “About that...you remember when you asked me if I remembered anything from last night?” 

“...yes.” 

“We were going to kiss. Another homeless man stopped us, asking for money. Tony said that he pitied him and the man had children...I got scared. I didn’t want Tony to find out that I was just like that man. He’d hate me.” 

“No, he wouldn’t, Steve.” 

“He would. He’d hate me for mooching off of him and for putting Peter through this.” Steve shook his head. “That’s why I had to end it. I can’t go out with someone when I don’t have a home.” 

“But you do. You live here now.” 

“I can’t stay here forever. I need to get back on my feet. And Tony Stark is not the man for me. He’s a billionaire. A  _ billionaire,  _ Nat.” 

“Yeah, I know. A billionaire that is crazy for you.” 

“I can’t date him. Not when I’m like this. It’s not fair to him.”

Natasha sighed. “Well, I can’t stop you. If you feel overwhelmed with everything else, I understand and respect your choice. But don’t shut him out. You’re going to get back on your feet and then, I really think you should give him a chance. I can get you more hours at the cafe. Most art projects. Maybe you can paint the windows. I don’t have much more of payroll to spend, but I will do everything I can to help you.” 

“That’s the funny part...of last night…” He chuckled again. 

“Something tells me that it’s not going to be funny.” 

“I got a second job. Last night after I left Tony.” 

“Where the hell did you get hired  _ and _ wasted?” 

“It’s a good night job. I don’t have to be in until late. I can sit here with Peter until he falls asleep, get to work and then be back before he even wakes up. And it won’t be every night.” 

“Steve. What job?”

“A strip club hired me. I think I’m going to be waiting tables and dancing on stage? I tried to get out of it, but too many drinks in and I was agreeing to anything to get more money for Peter.” 

Natasha’s eyes widened. “Steve, you’re not going to be a stripper!” 

“I am. I’m just waiting for my boss to call and give me my schedule.” 

She continued to stare at him like he was insane. And maybe he was. “Do you even know how to strip?”

“No...but they’re going to show me how. And YouTube!” 

“You’re going to YouTube how to be a stripper?”

“Yeah. Gotta learn those dances.” 

Natasha stared at him before sighing heavily. “You’re serious about this.” 

Steve nodded his head. “It’s good money, Nat. I can’t even afford to buy Peter a new pair of shoes. I need to do this.” 

She nodded her head slowly. “Okay, fine. I’ll stay with him at night when you’re twerking for singles.” 

Steve felt his cheeks burn. “Nat.” 

“What? That’s exactly what you’ll be doing.” Steve hated that she was right because he really couldn’t imagine himself doing that. “Look at those rosy cheeks. How much did you drink before you actually agreed to this?”

“I don’t remember, “he admitted. “A lot.”

“Yeah, I can tell. You go take a shower and brush your teeth. Are your bags at that shelter still?” 

Steve nodded his head. “Yeah, I’ll get them after I shower. I gotta let Sam know that I found a place to stay anyway.” 

“Sounds good.” She smiled, patting him on the shoulder. “Bathroom is down the hall. You can use my soaps and the towels are in the cabinet over the toilet. Go crazy.”

A real shower. With hot water. An apartment with a bed and a roof over their heads. Steve leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Natasha. “Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me.” 

Natasha hugged him back just as tight and whispered in his ear. “I’ve got you now. I’ve got you both and it’s all going to be okay. I promise.” 

* * *

Leaving the shelter with his two bags was bittersweet. Of course, the others there were happy to know that he and Peter had a place to stay now, but Steve felt horrible about it. He knew it had to be hard for them to see them go find somewhere to stay after only being there for two nights. 

Steve knew it wasn’t goodbye. He would be back there soon to visit (Timothy made him promise to bring Peter back to hang out soon) and when he was stable enough, he was going to treat them all to dinner one night. Until then, he planned on bringing leftovers from the cafe to their shelter when he could. 

He was back at Peter’s school without the carrier strapped to his chest. He left that in Natasha’s guest room with his other bags. So when Peter came running out to see him, he was surprised that he wasn’t immediately lifted into it. “No seat today, Papa?”

“Not today, buddy,” Steve said, taking his hand. He wanted to pick him up and hold him tight, but Natasha told him not to do that today. He had to wean Peter (and himself) from the attachment. It felt like years since he’d seen Peter last. 

“Are we going to the cafe? You overslept this morning and were late.” Peter was standing as close to Steve as he could as they walked down the street. 

“Actually, Nat let me have the day off. I didn’t get back until late.” 

“Yeah, and you didn’t come in to snuggle. I gotta go find you,” Peter said, staring up at him with a pout.

“I’m sorry, bud.” Steve hoped that was the last time told him he had to stay away from his son. He hated the idea of someone else controlling when he got to spend time with his child. “I fell asleep before I could get to bed.” 

Peter turned towards him and sniffed deeply. “You don’t smell bad anymore.”

The alcohol. Peter smelled alcohol on him. “I took a shower.” 

“I’m glad. I didn’t like it when you smell like that.” 

Steve squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry, Petey. I won’t smell like that anymore. Don’t worry.” 

“Are we going back to see Dum Dum and Mr. Sam?” 

Steve laughed that Sam got a ‘Mr.’ in front of his name, but Dum Dum didn’t. “Not today.”    
“I don’t wanna sleep outside anymore.” 

“Did you like where you slept last night?” He asked, glancing down at Peter. 

“Nat’s house was nice. Her bed was extra soft.” 

He probably just didn’t remember how soft normal beds were. 

“What if we stayed there?” Steve asked, knowing what Peter’s answer would be. 

“Are you going out again?” Peter asked in a small voice. “I hope you have fun, but I miss you…” 

It took all of his self control not to lean down and lift him up in his arms. “No, sweetie, I’m staying in tonight. Just you, me, and Nat...because she invited us to stay with her.” 

Peter’s eyes widened. “What?”

“We’re gonna stay with Nat for the rest of the adventure. No more running around to find somewhere to sleep. You’ve got a bed now until I can buy you one myself.” He squeezed Peter’s hand as he watched his face break out with a grin. 

“I want to live with Nat!” He jumped a few times in excitement. 

Steve laughed some more as they walked. Peter started to skip beside him. He skipped the entire way back to Nat’s and Steve took that as a good sign. He couldn’t rely on him always be this happy to walk after school, but at least today, he was going to a home. 

Natasha let them in the building and then into her apartment. She promised that she’d get him a copy of her key for him to use. For the first time in a long time, Steve felt like he and Peter were going to be okay. This wasn’t a permanent solution, but it was a solution for as long as they needed. Maybe this was the answer: living with Nat and paying her rent instead of finding someplace. 

The minute that Peter was inside, Nat was lifting him up in her arms. “Hello, troublemaker. How was your day at school?”

“Are we really allowed to stay with you?” He asked, ignoring her question as he wrapped his arms around her neck. 

“Of course, you are. As long as you’d like.”

Steve came up behind them and rubbed his back. “I told her about the adventure, bud.”

He twisted so suddenly in Natasha’s arms that she had to adjust her hold on him so he didn’t fall. “You told her? But you said if we told anyone it was bad.”

Steve pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “Yes, but Nat is okay. She’s the only other person allowed.”

“Nat’s safe.”

“Yes, baby. Nat is safe.”

* * *

Natasha had more than enough food in her kitchen (because most people did) to make dinner for the three of them and like usual, Peter was in Steve’s lap as they ate. 

“I’ll have to look around for something that can be his booster seat,” she said as she glanced over them. “Eating like that can’t be comfortable.” 

“I always eat in Papa’s lap,” Peter said, scooping a forkful of mashed potatoes into his mouth. 

“Yeah…” Natasha said, turning back to her own food. “Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out.” 

Steve wanted to tell her that she didn’t have to worry about that. He appreciated her trying to work on their codependency, but he didn’t want to push Peter away completely.

“It’s okay, Nat. I’m safe here with Papa.” 

“Yes, but you’d be just as safe sitting in that chair next to him.” Natasha gave him a warm smile. “But it’s okay to use him as a booster seat.” 

Peter giggled, eating more food. Steve rubbed the top of his head, watching him eat everything off his plate. Natasha didn’t even look up from her plate when she said, “Steve, you better eat too.” 

“Yes, mom,” he said, rolling his eyes before turning to his own plate. When she wasn’t looking, he scraped some of his own food onto Peter’s plate. Peter ate it without a word. That was normal.

“Thank you for the food, Nat,” Peter said as he finished up. “It’s so good.” 

“You’re very welcome,” Natasha said, giving him her full attention. 

“I have a question,” he said, quietly. 

“Go ahead, little guy.” 

“If I live here, am I allowed to use the bathroom?”

Natasha laughed. “Of course, Pete. As long as you’re being safe, you’re allowed to use whatever you’d like.” 

“Can Papa give me a bath in your tub? We have our soap and--.”

Steve hated that his own son even had to ask that. He couldn’t look at Natasha when she answered. “Of course, Peter. You can take as many baths as you want. If you want to be a fish and live in there, you’re more than welcome to.” 

Peter giggled. “I could be a shark! Or a mermaid!” 

“You’d be a merman, Pete.” Natasha grinned. 

“Even better!” He turned around in Steve’s arms to look up at him. “Can you give me a bath after dinner? Please?”

“Sure, bud. Right after we finish the dishes, I’ll fill the sink up for you.” He ruffled Peter’s hair with a smirk. 

“No!” Peter said, giggling some more. “No sink!” 

“Alright, baby. I’ll give you a warm bath in the tub. You go get your pjs out of the backpack and meet me in the bathroom.” 

Peter didn’t need to be told twice before he was jumping off of Steve’s lap and rushing to the hallway. Steve smiled as he listened to his feet running across the floor as he giggled. 

Natasha’s voice had him turning away from the hallway. “Did...did you really have to wash him in sinks?”

Steve’s amusement was gone when she asked that. “Uh...yeah. I’ve been using a gym shower, but I don’t want Peter there. And he fits in sinks. I think that’s his least favorite part of the adventure. He may take your idea seriously to live in that tub.”

“He’s welcome to. Whatever keeps him happy.”

Steve smiled. “See? It’s a curse. Anyone that knows him would do anything for him to stay happy.” 

“Kid that cute? I’m not surprised.” She stood up and started to collect the dirty dishes. “I’ll handle this. You go to the bathroom and start the bath.” 

Steve stood up but didn’t leave yet. “I wanted to talk to you while we’re alone. I start tomorrow night.”

“Start?”

“You know...the job.” 

“Oh,” Natasha paused. “And you’re sure you want to?”

“Honestly?” Steve said. “Not really. But it’ll be worth it.”

“What are you going to tell Peter?” She asked quietly. 

“Peter will be asleep by the time I leave. But, I think I’m going to tell him. I don’t want him waking up in the night and being scared when he can’t find me.” He had thought long and hard about just sneaking out, but he had one thought of Peter waking up before he was home and Steve knew he couldn’t do that to him.

“Working at a club all night, waking up to take him to school, and working at the cafe...when are you going to sleep, Steve?”

“I’m not working every night. When I am, I’ll just be a little more tired than usual. I’ll need to take a note from Tony Stark’s book and drink espresso in my coffee” Steve ignored how even saying his name hurt. 

If Natasha noticed, she didn’t mention it. “It’s not healthy.” 

“I’ve been through worse,” Steve said. “I’ll be okay.”

“I don’t like imagining you and Peter going through the stuff you told me about…” She said, shaking her head. 

“That’s why I need to do this,” Steve told her. “If I don’t then I risk us ending up in the same spot all again.” 

“You don’t need to worry about that, Steve. I’m not letting you two out on the street again.” Natasha’s voice was firm and Steve wasn’t about to argue that even if she couldn’t make a promise like that. 

“It’s going to be fine,” Steve said. I just have to go on stage and shake my hips and get money thrown at me. Literally.” 

“We both know it’s going to be harder than that. Especially for you. But, if this is what you want to try, I’m not going to stop you. You’re an adult. Whatever you need, I’ll help.” 

“Thank you, Natasha. Seriously. You don’t have to do this for us, but thank you.” 

“Thank me by going and giving that boy his bath.” Natasha shooed him out of the kitchen. 

Steve walked down the hallway and into the bathroom. Not only did Peter have his pajamas laid on the counter, but he was undressed and sitting in the tub, staring at the door expectantly. He waved excitedly when Steve stepped inside. “You all ready, bear?”

“Yeah!” Peter smiled, clapping his hands. 

“Let’s get it going then.” He knelt by the tub and turned the warm water on, keeping his hand under the stream so he could keep his eye on the temperature. 

Peter giggled as he watched the bath fill up slowly. 

“Hey, Pete,” Steve said softly. “I wanted to tell you that I’ve got another job.” 

His smile was gone and Steve felt bad for bringing it up now. “Papa…” 

“Don’t worry, bud. I would only be gone after you fall asleep and back before you wake up.” Steve watched his reaction carefully. 

“But, I’d have to sleep without you…” 

“You wouldn’t even know and it would only be a few days a week, Pete. Promise.” 

Peter hunched his shoulders sadly. “Papa, why do you need to work more? We can live here. We don’t need money.” 

Steve sighed heavily. “Peter, we can’t stay here forever. And even if we wanted to, we’d need to pay Nat rent. And you know there are other things we have to afford. Clothes and food.” 

“I’ll miss you.” 

“And I’ll miss you too, baby. But it won’t be long. I promise.” 

Finally, Peter nodded his head. “Okay, then it’s okay...as long as you leave when I sleep and you’re in bed before the sun is back.” 

Steve leaned over and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “You’ve got a deal, bud. Now let’s get you suds up, Ariel. You’re gonna stay in here until your fingers wrinkle.” 

* * *

Captain! So glad you could make it!” His boss, who he still hadn’t learned his name yet (or maybe he did but just couldn’t remember it), called out to him when he walked into the back. He wanted to stop at the bar to have a shot of something just to calm his nerves, but he didn’t want to start to rely on that. 

“I can’t exactly not show up for a job,” Steve said, feeling uncomfortable in the room. 

The Boss gestured to the woman beside him. She was dressed in tight green corset that just barely held her breasts. He pointedly refused to look anywhere below her chin. “This is The Enchantress. She’ll be showing you the ropes here.” 

He held out his hand and smiled. “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Ste--.”

“No. You are Captain America.” 

Steve’s eyes flickered over to The Boss before looking back at Amora. “I’m Captain America.” 

“Captain America?” She asked, quirking an eyebrow. 

“He doesn’t have his outfit on yet.” The Boss shoved a hanger into his arms. “Get changed.” 

“I’ll just run to the bathro--.” 

Amora laughed, flipping some of her long blonde hair over her shoulder. “You don’t get changed in a bathroom. There is no time here for you to be shy.”

Steve looked from one of them to the other with wide eyes. “You want me to get changed here?”

“You need the practice.” She smirked. 

Steve pulled off his jacket, not looking either of them in the eyes but before he could throw it to the chair next to him, Amora said, “Back on.” 

“What?” He asked, looking up at her like she was crazy. 

“A jacket is literally part of your dance. That’s the only thing you have to take off. You can’t just toss it.” She rolled her eyes and held out her hand. “Give me.” He handed it over happily and she pulled it on. “Watch.” 

He started watching, but when she looked at him with a seductive grin and slowly started to pull the jacket off her shoulders, he couldn’t help it when he looked away. 

“Look at her!” The Boss said, loud enough for Steve to jump and look back at her. 

“Sorry, sir--.”

“You have to watch me or else you won’t learn,” Amora said, not cruelly. “You’re allowed to stare, you know. It’s not rude.” 

“Y-Yeah, I’m sorry,” Steve said, looking back up. Again, his eyes never went below her chin. 

“The jacket isn’t on my face.” 

He nodded his head and looked down at her slowly pulling the jacket off her shoulders again. What she was doing didn’t look hard, but Steve knew that the moment he tried, his body physically wouldn’t cooperate. He managed to watch her take the jacket off without glancing away. He didn’t comment how she spent three times as long as it should take to take off a jacket because that  _ was _ the point. 

“Now take your shirt off just like I took off the jacket. Slow, sexy, look me in the eyes.” 

“I don’t think I can do that,” he said without thinking. 

“That’s your job!” The Boss exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the air. Steve also didn’t point out that he applied to be a waiter and nothing more. 

Amora waved her hand at him to quiet him. “You can. Just take a deep breath. Close your eyes now if you need to just get used to the moves.” 

“Don’t go easy on him. He needs to learn!” 

“And he is,” Amora snapped. 

Steve ignored them and shut his eyes before he began to slowly pull the t-shirt off. He had it off with only a few struggles and he opened his eyes, looking to Amora. “How was that?”

She was hiding a smile behind her hand and tried to get rid of it completely when he stared at her. “You’ll get there. Now try the pants. Slow, steady, sexy.” 

Steve nodded his head and tried to ignore how his fingers were shaking at he unbuttoned his pants.  _ You’re alone, Steve. There’s no one else here.  _ He took a deep breath before letting it out and then started to pull his pants off. He thought he was doing an okay job at it until The Boss was grunting. “Oh, come on. How can you mess up taking pants off?” 

His sudden voice had Steve startling enough to stumble halfway through taking one leg out of his pants and he lost his balance, falling forward. Right on his face. 

“I can’t watch this anymore,” The Boss groaned, storming past him towards the door. “Send him out in the underwear tonight. He’ll wait tables and work with you during breaks.” Now he was glaring down at Steve. “You better practice. Every chance you get, I want you to practice. Because you’re going on that stage in two days. I don’t care if look like a fool up there. You want good tips? You better earn it.” Then he was slamming the door behind him. 

Steve flinched from his spot still on the ground. He looked over to Amora and said, “I don’t think he likes me.”

“Trust me, you’re better off him not liking you than liking you. Attention from Brock Rumlow is not something you want.” She shook her head as if that would disregard her comment. Steve wanted to ask and just make sure she was okay, but he knew that wasn’t his place. Not when they had only just met.

She walked over and extended her arm. Steve grabbed her hand and she helped lift him up off the floor. She didn’t let go of him until he kicked off the pants. “First time taking off pants?”

He was glad that unlike Rumlow, she seemed to have a sense of humor. It helped ease the awkwardness he was feeling. 

“You’d think so, huh?” 

“It’s okay to be nervous. Everyone is at one point.” She gave him a smile. “It’s not about you watching others do it because there is no right or wrong way. You just have to learn to get into the music and let your body take control.” She started humming and began to sway her hips to the tune. 

“You’re really good at this,” Steve said, unable to not watch how she moved her body. 

She continued to hum but stopped to answer him, singing to the tune softly instead, “I’ve been doing this for a while.”

“Were you as horrendous as me when you started?”

She smirked, turning in a circle slowly as she continued her dance. “Maybe. I don’t remember it now.”

“I won’t ever be as good as you.”

“He wasn’t wrong when he talked about practice,” she said, her dancing coming to an end. “Whenever you can, just let your hips move.”

“I don’t get much privacy from my son. I’m surprised he lets me in the bathroom alone,” Steve said with a laugh. Somehow, every conversation always came back to Peter. 

“I’m sure he’d love to learn too,” she teased. 

“He’d probably be better than me. Anyone would be.” 

“Go out there and work the tables. Let yourself feel the music of the club and just sway your hips while you walk around. It’ll help.” She handed him the jacket and he put it on the chair. 

“Guess I should get dressed and go out then.” He sighed, looking down at the underwear he was holding. It looked smaller than it did the other night. “What if I don’t fit?” He asked, genuinely worried. 

Amora laughed as if it were a joke. “You’ll be fine. You can go behind that screen to get changed.” 

He sighed in relief when he realized he wouldn’t have to completely strip in front of her. He took the underwear and hurried behind the screen. He pulled off his boxers and hesitated as he stared at the underwear. He wasn’t looking forward to wearing it, but at least, this was better than nothing. 

Carefully, because the last thing he needed was to trip again, fall into the screen and flash Amora, he stepped into the shorts and pulled them up. Once they were one, he winced. “Oh, man. I can’t even confirm if I’m getting any circulation.” 

“The tighter it is, the more you get.”

He did a few squats in them to try and loosen them up before he decided he was ready to walk back over to her. Amora let out a whistle when she checked him out. “Looking good there, Captain.” 

He folded his hands in front of his crotch awkwardly. She was right and he fit but just barely. “Steve. Please call me Steve.” 

Her smile softened. “You look good, Steve.” He blushed, feeling extremely exposed as he stood there in nothing but the booty shorts. “Grab your dog tags from the pocket of your jacket and get out there.” 

“I can’t wear the jacket?”

“Only for the stage,” she said. 

“Can’t blame a guy for trying.” He pulled the dog tags from the pocket of the jacket and put them on. The metal was cold against his skin. 

Amora came over and checked him out again, this time much closer. “Oh, you’re going to do great out there.” 

“I hope.” 

“Oh, honey, I  _ know.”  _ She winked and smacked him on the ass once before walking out of the room. He’d probably have to get used to that.

Steve didn’t follow her right away. He turned around and stared at himself in the small mirror on the wall. He didn’t look bad; carrying Peter around everywhere was definitely helping keep him in shape. Not eating right was taking a toll on him, but he didn’t look too bad. Not yet. 

But, no matter how good Steve looked, it didn’t make it any better for him to go out there. His wife had been the only person to ever see him like this and going out there in front of dozens of strangers, just to be ogled and objectified seemed wrong. 

Steve knew he wouldn’t be able to go out there, but he knew someone who could. 

He leaned closer to the mirror and said, “You’ve got this, Captain. Go out there and earn that money. Santa can’t buy Peter his shoes without it.” 

 

That mentality was the only thing that got him through the first night. All he had to do was walk from the table to the bar and then back again. He was tipped by everyone he served, man or woman. He shouldn’t have been surprised when the first woman stuffed her tip into the band of his shorts. But he had one hand holding a tray and the other holding a drink, so when he felt that he had to stop himself from jumping. 

At the end of the night when he counted up his tips, it was worth it, he decided. 

Amora patted him on the shoulder and said, “That’s a good start there. Just wait til you’re dancing. Even more.” 

More money sounded nice, but he was satisfied with what he was getting. He didn’t need to do anything more than serve drinks. Rumlow didn’t agree though. He wanted him up on that stage or out on the floor, servicing guests. 

However, he was supposed to have at least the first two days of “practice” before they threw him into the fray. Of course, he couldn’t even get that lucky. He was only an hour into his shift on the second night when he felt someone slap his ass as he walked away. He wanted to grab that hand and snap it, but he wasn’t allowed to. The touching was normal, according to Amora. 

Steve had found out early on that she wasn’t lying. Most, if not all, of their customers were drunk and loved getting handsy. Steve lost track of the amount of time he was groped when his hands were full with drinks. He had to just smile and encourage it. 

But this time when someone slapped his ass, they grabbed onto the band of his shorts as he tried walking away. When Steve felt the breeze, he backtracked quickly and turned around harshly enough that the woman lost her grip. 

“I want a dance, pretty boy.” She slurred, her eyes drooping shut before she snapped them back open.    
“We have another show starting soon--.”

“Now. I want a dance.” She patted her lap, wiggling her eyebrows up at him.

_ “Oh,”  _ Steve said. “Well, I can get someone over here now.”

She grunted, grabbing onto the band of his shorts again. “I want  _ you.”  _

“I’m s-sorry,” he said. “I don’t do lap dances.”   
This woman went from sleepy drunk to angry drunk in two seconds. “Why not? You work here!”

“I can’t.”

She tugged him towards her. “Just rub yourself on me.”

He was pretty sure a lap dance was much more than just rubbing, but he kept that to himself. “Ma’am, I can get someone else for you, but that’s not a service I offer.” Steve wasn’t sure how this was going to end because he never handled a customer as difficult as this one and no one thought anything was wrong or out of the ordinary. If anyone could even see them through the dark room, they wouldn’t think twice of it. 

Thankfully though, Steve had a little luck on his side. 

“Is there a problem, ma’am?”

Steve turned around and there was Amora, in her Enchantress role of coolness and disinterest. 

“I asked for a dance and he won’t give it,” she complained, tugging again on his shorts. 

Amora grabbed his arm to keep him from toppling over. “I’m going to have to ask you to let go of him or else you’ll have to leave.” 

“I want a dance!” 

“And I will go get you one as soon as you let your waiter go,” Amora replied, raising one eyebrow. 

The woman grunted angrily before finally letting go of his shorts. Steve took three steps backwards to get out of her reach. “Fuckin’ tease,” she spat out at him. 

Amora turned around to face him and in her eyes, he didn’t see The Enchantress, he saw Amora. “Go to the back and calm down. I’ll handle her.” 

Steve nodded his head, gratefully before he was hurrying to the back. He threw open the door and immediately saw himself staring back in the mirror. His cheeks and chest were blushing a deep red. “Come on, Steve. You’re okay. You’re okay--.”

“What the hell are you doing back here?” Rumlow’s voice shouted behind him, followed by the door slamming shut. 

Steve turned around and said, “I just needed to collect myself.” He wasn’t about to throw Amora under the bus for letting him go back here. “This woman--.”

“Yes, I saw what happened. Let me repeat myself: what the hell are you doing back here?”

“I don’t know how to do lap dances. I couldn’t just start  _ rubbing against her.”  _

Rumlow scoffed. “She would barely know the difference. As long as she got something, she would have been happy. But now I have a very angry customer on my hands. Because of you.” 

“I’m sorry, sir, but I just needed to relax. She was touching me and--.”

Rumlow groaned loudly. “Oh, knock it off! You work at a fucking strip club, not Disneyland!”

“Being a stripper or a dancer does not give people the right to just grope us,” Steve said. “Someone says no and that means no, no matter the occupation.” 

“Holy shit, go preach your shit somewhere else, blondie. But when you work under me, I say that our customers are allowed to do whatever the fuck they want to you and you’re going to do it with a fucking smile.” 

Steve wanted to fight back and give this jackass a peace of his mind, but he didn’t think it’d do much. Not when he was the one standing there in nothing but American flag underwear.

“You’re going to go back out there and if someone else asks you for a dance, you’re going to give them a fucking dance. You work for me and you are mine to control. Like it or leave it.” 

Steve was about to leave it. He was about to spit in this prick’s face and walk away with what little dignity he had left. But he couldn’t. He thought of how much he brought home the previous night and there was no way he could give up that. 

Rumlow knew Steve wasn’t going to argue with him so he smirked and took a step to the side. “Go back out there and dance for them, my little monkey.” 

* * *

No one else asked for a dance. Amora seemed to be picking up quite a few, never leaving too far from Steve unless she was on stage. When they were in the dressing room at the end of the night getting changed, she came over to him and whispered, “Practice. You go up there on Monday.”

That was a few days away at least, so he’d have time to go back to Nat’s and practice in bathroom. There was no other way he was going to learn. 

 

When he got home that night, he peeled off his clothes and stumbled into the shower. He just felt dirty. Having that woman touching him and his boss talk to him like that made him want to wash it all away. 

He turned the water as hot as his skin could take it and he scrubbed. He scrubbed his skin so hard that some of it was coming off and getting stuck under his nails. His shower didn’t stop until he felt so lightheaded that he almost passed out. Then he shut the water off and stepped out of the shower. 

He dried himself off, enjoying the soft cloth of the towel on his skin. It was a luxury he hadn’t had in so long. Then he pulled on his pajamas and stepped out into the hallway to walk back to the guest room that he and Peter were staying in. 

Sure enough, Peter was still tucked under the blankets sound asleep. He picked up the blanket and crawled in next to him. He pulled him close to his chest and Peter reached out and grabbed onto him in his sleep. Steve smiled. 

No matter what Steve did, there was always one person that would never think any differently of him because of it. There was only one person that would always greet him with a smile and trust that he was doing his best. There was only person that would never treat him anything less than human. 

That person was Peter. 

Peter looked up to  him (literally and figuratively) and saw his Papa. And nothing was going to change that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, IronPengu is thinking about writing a fic that would be Tony's POV of the same story, so you'd get to see what's going on with him when he's not with Steve. If you'd be interested in that, let us know below!
> 
> I'm so excited for these next few chapters and I hope you continue to be as well. (Also if you don't know her...go look up Amora now..you're welcome)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a 7 page paper due tomorrow. a 5 page paper due saturday and a video presentation due sunday. i really put all that off fo this fic. I hope you all appreciate my complete lack of rational thinking.

Steve took Amora’s advice very seriously the following few days. Whenever he had the chance to, he was humming and rotating his hips. When he was the only one working at the cafe and there were no customers, he was  _ working it. _ As he got undressed at night, he was slowly pulling the clothes off. The pants always required extra care because he didn’t want to faceplant again. 

However, watching his progress was harder than he thought it’d be. He learned that the hard way after taking a shower one night and decided he wanted to watch how his hip moving was going. So he wrapped a towel around his waist and stepped up on the edge of the tub where he could have a better view in the mirror above her sink. 

Watching himself made him feel even more insecure than usual, though. He kept a firm grip on his towel because he really didn’t want to even flash himself accidentally. But he was so focused on keeping the towel around his waist that he didn’t realize he took a step too far off the side of the tub. 

Instinctively, he reached out to grab something to stop him from falling. That something was the shower curtain. Unfortunately, that did nothing to stop his fall and he only brought that down with him. 

He laid there, his legs dangling out of the tub and the shower curtain draped over him, stunned. He barely had time to make sure he was covered before the bathroom door slammed open. “Uh, occupied!” Steve shouted. 

“What the hell happened?” Natasha asked, staring down at him with wide eyes. 

“I, uh, slipped…”

“Okay, I can’t watch this anymore. Get dressed and meet me in the living room.” She looked at the mess he made and shook her head. “You’re so fixing my shower rod later.”

Once she left him, he scrambled out of the tub and quickly got dressed. He hoped she wasn’t going to kick him out for the mess he made. Maybe she was tired of having him and Peter mooching off of her. Maybe she wanted them out. 

He hurried back into the living room and was already ready to beg. He hadn’t been too proud for that since they were kicked out of their first apartment. “I’ll pay to fix it,” he reassured her. “I can chip in more around the house. Especially with this new job. I’ll have more money to give to you. I can cover some meals.” 

Natasha came over, putting a hand on his arm and said, “Woah, relax, Steve. I don’t want you to go anywhere. I said you both were fine to stay as long as you wanted and I mean that. Don’t worry about the money either. I’m not going to make you pay for anything until you can afford to.”

Steve felt like he could breathe easier again. He felt dumb for freaking out so badly. “Oh...okay.” 

“You don’t have to worry about that. Ever.” She squeezed him arm once before smiling at him. “I just wanted to talk to you about your new job.”

“What do you want to talk about?” He asked, scrunching his face. He really would rather not talking about that. 

“I know you’ve been trying to get some moves down and it’s not really working out for you, huh?”

“How do you know--?”

“I literally know everything, Steve.” She took a step backwards and let herself fall to the couch without breaking his eye contact. “And that’s why I know you need my help.”

Steve felt his cheeks burn at that comment. He didn’t want her to know that part of his life and how he let his boss treat him. “I don’t need help…”

“Who are you practicing on? Your pillows?”

“No--!”

She smirked, patting her lap. “C’mon, Steve. Don’t be shy.”

“You’re infuriating,” he said, shaking his head. “I don't need to practice.” 

“Because you’re a natural lap dancer?” 

“Yes-- no!” Steve glared at her. “Stop it.” 

She laughed at him but not in a mocking way. Once she stopped, she tried again, “Steve, I really just want to help you. If you’re set on doing this, then you need to know how. I don’t want you going up there and making a fool of yourself.” 

Steve sighed. “We’re way past that the second I’m in my outfit.” 

Natasha sat up straighter and grinned. “They gave you an outfit? What is it?” He glared at her but didn’t say a word. “Oh, come on! Just tell me! I won’t tell anybody else. You know it.” 

Steve groaned and then grumbled, “I’m Captain America.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Captain America? Why?”

“Drunk me liked the jacket. Sober me? Not so much.” 

She howled with laughter and wrapped her arms around her sides. “Oh, my God. I have to see this costume one day.” 

“No! You’re never going to be there! Ever!” If Natasha saw the way people acted there, she’d probably snap a person’s wrist when they tried to grab him. She was the protective sister that would definitely kill for him. 

“Well, duh, I watch Pete when you’re working the graveyard shifts, but you’d better bring it home one night.” She winked. 

“Oh,  _ hell  _ no. All I need is Peter snooping through my things, finding it, and wearing the American flag on his head.” 

Natasha smiled. “He does that?”

“He’s got the maturity of any other 4-year-old. Of course, underwear on the head cracks him up.” 

“Sounds just like Clint. They’d get along perfectly.” 

“Speaking of Clint, I don’t think he’d like another man giving his girl a lap dance.” He crossed his arms over his chest. 

“First, I am not  _ his _ girl. Second, even if I was, I think he would understand the cause and that no one can say no to a lap dance from  _ Captain America.  _ Even him.” 

“Do you really want to help me that badly?” 

Natasha answered by pulling out her phone and swiping on her phone until she started playing music. Steve groaned when he heard the familiar tune of  _ Careless Whisper _ playing. “Fine! Fine! Get ready…” He said, walking over to her. He shut his eyes, took a deep breath and tried to remember what Amora told him: slow, steady, and sexy. 

He was able to keep his hips moving in tune with the music for only a few seconds before he really thought about just what he was doing and he froze. He fell forward, losing his balance and landed on Natasha, their chests pressed together. He pushed himself off her immediately. “Shit, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

She wasn’t upset though. “You’re fine, Steve. That’s why we’re practicing. You don’t need to do that on a customer.” 

“I can’t do this. I told him. I can’t.” He shook his head a few times. 

“Yes, you can,” she said. “I have two options for you.” 

“I’ll do anything,” he said, meaning each and every word. He seemed to be saying that a lot lately.  _ I’ll do anything.  _ Was there a line that he wouldn’t cross? And if there even was, what was it? Just what wouldn’t he do to make Peter happier? 

“Just close your eyes,” she said and he did so. “Now pretend you’re giving a nice little dance to Tony Stark.” 

His eyes snapped open and he went to push himself off of Natasha. She grabbed his shirt so he couldn’t go far. “Nat! I’m not imagining that!” 

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not doing that! I don’t-- I Tony and I are done. It wouldn’t be-- no, okay, I just can’t!” Steve shook his head, panicking. He didn’t want to talk about Tony. Because Tony was gone. Steve ruined that and he didn’t need any reminder. 

“You’re not done, Steve. You’re just a little lost right now.”    
“He deserves bet--.”

“Don’t you finish that sentence, Rogers. We both know that’s not true at all.” 

“Either way. What’s your other option because I am not grinding on Tony Stark.” 

“Not yet.” 

“Natasha.” 

“Okay, okay.” She let go of his shirt and leaned back. 

“What’s the other option?” 

“Your other option is to just get out of your head. Think of anything else. If you think about it, you’ll mess up,” Nat said, seriously. “You’ve got to stay out of your head. Think about anything else.” 

Steve nodded his head and went back to his position on top of Natasha. He shut his eyes and let his mind wander. Not enough to ignore the music but enough to imagine himself somewhere else. 

He thought about bringing Sam the leftovers from the cafe and how it brought a smile to every veteran’s face in that room. He thought about the surprise Steve was planning for dinner in a few nights; it wasn’t much, just breakfast for dinner with pancakes, but it was cheap and delicious. He thought about Christmas time and everything he needed to get ready; Peter needed at least one gift from Santa. He thought all about his little Peter: his smile, his laugh, his curls, his obsession with space, his--

“You did a great job!” 

Steve blinked, looking down at Natasha. “What?”

“You did it! I mean, there were a few stumbles here or there, but you were pretty good.” She smacked him on the ass. “Very sexy, Rogers.” 

Steve pulled himself off of her, blushing at the compliment. “I didn’t even realize…” 

She nodded her head and tapped at her temple. “Stay outta that mind of yours.” 

Staying out of his mind wasn’t as easy as it was here. In the club, he’d be surrounded by men and women that wanted nothing  more than to rip his pants off. They were always touching and grabbing and squeezing. 

“What’s going on in there now?” Natasha asked, softly. 

Sighing, Steve fell to the couch next to her. “The customers aren’t like you, Nat. The other night, this one woman was just about pulling my shorts off. Yelling and making a fuss because I wouldn’t give her a lap dance.” 

Natasha put her hand on his knee and squeezed it. “Unfortunately, the customers of those places usually aren’t the best of people. They’re drunk and horny. Dangerous combination.” 

“They just treat everyone there like a piece of meat.” He turned to look at her and said, “You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve been groped in there already. Two nights working. I’ve got a tray of drinks in one hand and I’m handing over a glass with the other and then suddenly someone is palming my junk.”

Natasha didn’t laugh. 

“It’s not even like the boss cares. He got angry at me when I refused to dance for the handsy woman I dealt with.” Steve ran a hand over his face as he leaned against the back of the couch. 

“You got in trouble with the boss already?” Natasha asked, now chuckling. “Why am I not surprised?”

“He followed me to the back when I needed to get away from her. He basically told me that I was his property and if he said dance, well, I better dance. It’s humiliating.”

“I hate to think about someone treating you like that,” she said in a low voice. Her grip on his knee tightened. 

“I signed up for this, Nat. No one is forcing me.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I just need the money and not that this is easy money, but it’s something.”

“I know it’s not easy,” she said, sounding earnest. He was thankful she wasn’t someone that was disgusted at dancers and strippers. There were too many people in the world that stuck their noses up at people like Amora. 

“These men and women go through so much shit during a shift at one of these clubs. They’re definitely not treated like the human beings they are. And the stuff they do takes skill! Have you ever seen a woman dancing on a pole? It’s not easy! The strength it takes to hold herself up like that…it’s incredible.” He shook his head. “I mean, you should see Amora up there. I could be at this for a 100 years and I’ll never be as good as her.” 

Natasha bumped her shoulder against Steve’s. “Sounds like you’ve got a little crush.” 

“Believe me, Nat, if you saw her up there, you’d have a little crush too.” 

“Invite me to one of your shows and I’ll have to introduce myself.” 

Steve rolled his eyes fondly. “Not this again. You’re not coming and I’m not bringing home the costume.” Maybe he’d take the jacket once he quit. That was a pretty cool jacket. And when Peter had career day at school, he could wear it and pretend like he was a retired Army Captain and not a stripper…

“You’re zero fun. If I don’t get to see you in your costume, then how else are you going to thank me?” 

Steve smirked as he turned to face her. It was his time to be the meddling one. “I’ll thank you by dropping some hints to your lover boy.”

Natasha lifted the pillow next to her and smacked him in the face with it. “You’re super annoying, you know that right?”

“Yeah, I know.” He grinned at her and her smile softened. Without another word, she dropped her head to his shoulder and Steve froze. He wasn’t so good at social interactions with anyone above the age of four. “Uh…”

She grabbed his hand and whispered, “I’m glad you told me. About this and everything else. It’s nice to not have to deal with it all on your own for once, huh?”

Steve could only nod his head. How was he supposed to really thank her enough for everything? He hadn’t someone to rely on in life since his wife passed. Having Natasha help him with all of this was a relief. Not an answer to his prayers exactly, but at least he wasn’t alone anymore. He knew she loved Peter almost as much as he did and she would help him in any way she could to take care of him. 

She looked up at him when he didn’t say anything and she stared at the bottom of his face. She used her hand to scratch at his facial hair. “Big boss man lets you break military ranks with this? You know I have a bathroom and extra razors if you want to clean yourself up.” 

“I’m not shaving my beard. I like it.”  _ It keeps me warm when I’m out there.  _

“Peter says you look like Santa Claus.” 

“I’m sure he does,” Steve said. Peter hadn’t been overly happy with it at first because his Papa was always shaved, that’s how he knew him and he said it was itchy whenever Steve gave him kisses. But he didn’t complain about it much anymore now that he’d had it for a few weeks. 

Natasha kept her head resting on Steve’s shoulder for a few minutes more and Steve didn’t want her to move it. “You don’t have to do this, you know. You can quit that job. You and Peter can stay here with me. We’ll paint that room and get you both furniture.” 

Steve smiled at the suggestion and he wished he could say yes. But he couldn’t, for both of their sakes. “I can’t do that do you. You’re going to want to move on with your life. Like when you and Clint finally pull your heads out of your asses. You won’t want us living with you. And when you guys have kids, where would they stay?”

“That’s way into the future, Steve. You don’t have to think that far ahead.” 

“But I do. With Peter, I always have to think ahead.” 

“You’re really in love with that kid,” Natasha said after a moment of her just staring up at him. 

The comment confused Steve. Of course, he did; that was his son. “Well, yeah. That’s my baby.”

“That’s what I mean. He’s your baby. Some dads would never devote so much to their kids like you do. And you always make sure he’s okay. Without even caring about yourself.” 

“That’s my job as his father.”  _ To know the mistakes of my own and do the opposite.  _

“He’s lucky to have you. I mean that. I don’t care if you didn’t have even a cent to your name, you take of that kid better than anyone else could. And if anyone ever said otherwise or tried to take Peter, I’d let them know just how good of a dad you are. You don’t have to be scared of losing him.” 

Natasha was trying to help him, but even the mentioning of someone taking Peter had Steve’s paranoia skyrocket. Now that they at least had a place to stay, his biggest fear was CPS showing up at Peter’s school and taking him away there. Steve wouldn’t even know until he got the phone call. “CPS needs reasons. They can’t just take him away. I have a job and, and now I have a roof over his head. He’s fed. I always feed him. They can’t take him away from me.”

“Steve--.” 

“They just can’t! There are parents out there that hurt their children, but they’re allowed to keep them. That’s fair that I have some money problems and they can take him away.”

“They’re no--.”

“They don’t know a thing about me and they don’t know a thing about Peter, but they think they can show up and take him away because  _ they know what’s best for him.  _ That’s bullshit! They’d just take him away and throw him in some home with a bunch of other kids and he’d be forgotten about until new parents and then he’d just forget about me and--.”

Natasha lifted her head off of his shoulder to clamp her hand over his mouth. “Steve, stop it. You’re working yourself up over nothing.” It didn’t feel like nothing to Steve. “CPS isn’t coming near Peter. He is yours. Yours to keep. That’s your son.  _ Yours.  _ No one else’s.” Steve wanted to believe that. “I’m going to take my hand off of your mouth and you’re going to tell me that he’s  _ your  _ son and no one will take him away from you.”

She lifted her hand from his mouth, but he couldn’t say a word. Not when his biggest fear was the exact opposite. “I can’t lose him.” 

“Believe me, I know you can’t. But you won’t have to.” 

“I want to believe it. I really do. But I can’t help it.” 

“That’s okay if you can’t yet. I’m not going anywhere until you believe it. You shouldn’t have to live with that fear.” She lowered her head back on Steve’s shoulder. “While we’re having this mushy gushy moment, do you wanna talk about Tony?”

Steve tensed up at his name. “No. Why talk about him?”

“He hasn’t even come by the cafe in the last few days. It’s okay if you miss him.”  

“I’m the one that ran from him, Nat.” 

“Only because you were scared. And honestly, he should have ran after you.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “This isn’t a movie.”  He wished it was because then at least, he’d be guaranteed a happy ending. 

“I’m telling you, if you give him the chance and run away again, he’ll chase after you. And if he doesn’t, he’s not your man.” 

“He isn’t my man, Natasha. He’s a literal billionaire and I’m...I can’t even afford to buy my kid a pair of sneakers.”

“Just forget about the money for a second, Steve.” 

Steve hated that he couldn’t. He knew it was probably annoying for her to have to listen to his financial problems, but he couldn’t just turn it off. He would always think about money and how it changed things, for good or bad. “I can’t! I can’t just  _ forget about the money!”  _ He realized how aggressive that sounded too late and he cringed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get angry at you. I’m just angry at myself.” 

“It’s okay,” Nat said, her voice quieter. “I shouldn’t have said that. It’s not fair to you.” She paused before rephrasing, “But I really think that money isn’t any issue here. Not when he loves you and you love him. There’s no money involved in love.”

“I know. Rationally, I know. But…” 

“But you still worry,” Natasha finished. “Sheesh, is there anything that you don’t worry about?”

Steve tried to think of anything to say, even something sarcastic. He came up with nothing. 

“Of course, there isn’t.” She reached up and poked his shoulder where her head was resting. “That’s why these muscles are so tight. All that stress and worry you got going on.”

“Or maybe it’s the 30 pound 4-year-old I carry every day.” The carrier definitely strained his neck, back, and shoulders. 

“Yeah, that could be it too...these are all things we’ll work on in time.”

“Don’t waste your time. Some things about me just can’t be fixed.” 

“That’s a relief because there’s nothing about you to fix. You’re not a broken toy. You’re a human being going through a rough time. It’s going to be okay.” 

Steve leaned his head until it was resting on top of Natasha’s. He thought it would have felt awkward, but it felt natural. “I hope so.” 

“Just you wait and see, Rogers. Good things are coming your way. Just give it all a chance to catch up.”

“I hope you’re right. “  _ Because I’m real tired of my life going downhill. _

“Always am.”

 

\--

  
  


Natasha wasn’t the only one that caught him practicing his moves. Peter was never farther than arms length whenever possible, so he noticed it a few times without really understanding what Steve was doing. He always giggled every time he caught him. 

One night, Peter walked out of the bathroom to see Steve pulling his shirt off of his head while humming and moving his hips. He fell to the ground laughing hysterically.

Steve glanced over at him and grinned. “Oh, you think that’s funny?” He made a big show of twirling his shirt over his head before throwing it at Peter. The shirt easily covered him until he peeked his head from underneath it. 

“You look so silly!” He wrapped Steve’s shirt around himself as he stood up. He turned around, wiggling his butt at Steve and said, “I’m Papa!” 

“Oh, get back here, you little--,” Steve said, laughing as he chased after him. He easily caught him and lifted him up. “What were you saying, hm? Making fun of your Papa?”

“No!” He laughed, shaking his head. “Never!” 

“That’s it! You asked for this!” He threw him to the bed and quickly jumped after him and started pressed his mouth against Peter’s cheek to blow a raspberry on his skin. He screeched loudly through his laughter as Steve continued, relentlessly. 

“Papa, stop! Scratchy!” Peter tried to push his face away so his facial hair stopped rubbing on his face. 

Their door opened and Natasha stuck her head inside. “You better stop getting him riled up. It’s a school night.” 

“Peter laughed at me. Punishment was in order.” Steve said, pulling away from Peter. He smiled as he listened to Peter struggle to control his breathing after his laughter. 

“If you keep him up, you’re going to be punishing yourself tomorrow morning trying to get him up.” 

When Peter finally stopped wheezing, he called to Natasha, “He was shaking his booty!” 

Natasha walked into the room, smiling. “Oh, I’m sure he was.” 

“I was not!” Steve said, covering Peter’s mouth with his hand. He was careful not to cover his nose. “He was the one shaking his booty!” 

“Steve, which one is the four-year-old?” 

That’s when Peter licked his palm and Steve yanked his hand away. “This little nasty right here.” 

“Sleep, you two. Now.” 

“Is she the boss?” Peter asked, crawling to the head of the bed. He lifted up the blanket for Steve to follow. 

“She sure is, buddy.” 

Natasha smirked at them. “And don’t you forget it.” 

“Goodnight, Nat!” Peter called from where he was already curled up next to Steve. 

“Goodnight, Pete. Tell your Papa he better go to bed or else he’s in trouble.” She winked before shutting the door. 

“Papa, go to bed or--.” 

“I heard her, silly. You better go to sleep too or else you’re in trouble. I’ll go practice my booty shaking in front of all your friends. How embarrassing will that be?” 

Immediately, Peter let his head drop on Seve’s arm and he started to fake snore. 

Steve rolled his eyes as he kissed the top of his head. “Goodnight, bear. I love you.” 

Peter only snored louder and Steve pulled him closer. 

 

\--

“You ready to go out there?” Amora asked, straightening his jacket. 

Steve never felt so nervous in his entire life. Maybe the only other time was right before he held Peter for the first time. But that was a different kind of nervous: a first time dad kind of nerves. These nerves were because he was about to do his first show on stage. 

“I don’t think so. But I never will be.”

“It’ll be fine,” she said, even though that wasn’t fair because she was used to going out there. She hadn’t seen his failed attempts at this the last few days or else she wouldn’t be saying that. “Just go out there and remember what I told you.” 

Steve nodded his head. He had to remember Amora’s advice: slow, steady, sexy and he had to remember Natasha’s advice: keep his mind thinking about something else. “What if I mess up out there?”

“Just keep going. If it’s bad, I’ll go out there and save you. Make it look like the show. But you’ll be okay. You’ve got this.” 

“Thank you,” he said. “Seriously. Thank you for everything.” 

“You don’t have to thank me. I felt bad watching you fall on your face trying to take off your pants.” 

Steve laughed at the memory. “At least there’s no pants to take off up there.”

“Something tells me you can still find a way to fall.” 

“I guess we’ll see,” he said just before the lights dimmed down and his music started playing. Of course, his songs were anything to do with America. Steve wouldn’t be surprised if they had him stripping to the National Anthem. 

“There’s your cue. Kill it, Captain.” Amora shoved him gently towards the stage and before he could stop, he was out on the stage in front of the crowd. Thankfully, he could barely see anyone in front of him because it was so dark and the only lights were shining on him. It made it easier to pretend like he was doing anything else. 

He just had to focus in on the music that was blasting from the speakers just to be heard over the screaming and cheering from men and women that were way too drunk. He shut his eyes and let his body begin to move. 

Slow. He took his time pulling the jacket off of himself. He let it rest on his arms as he danced. Not only did it keep him clothed longer for his own good, but it would make the dance longer and last through the song. 

Steady. Each move was calculated and careful. He didn’t want to get his arm stuck halfway through stripping. And he definitely didn’t want to fall in front of the crowd. His steps towards the front of the stage were slow and even. He didn’t want to get any closer to where their hands were reaching and grabbing, but that’s where the money was. 

Sexy. When he got close enough to them, he was putting all of his efforts into the dance. He was stripped down to just those God awful shorts and dog tags, so that did most of the sexy part for him, but he still had to keep his body moving. He turned around and squatted down low, getting his first few dollars shoved into his shorts. 

Mind off of it. The thought that he was up here willingly let strangers stuff money into his underwear had him burning in shame, but he had to chase that away. He couldn’t psych himself out of this. The crowd was cheering; they were enjoying themselves and he had to keep it that way. 

He thought about what he was going to do with all of this money. Maybe he’d have enough to get Natasha a present too. She deserved something for everything she had done and continued to do. Maybe he could talk to Peter about ideas. He also would have loved to be able to get Sam and the other guys and girls at the shetler something too. He wished he was rich enough to spoil all of his friends. 

_ Friends. _

That was still a strange concept to Steve. He hadn’t had real friends in years. And now, suddenly, he had so many he couldn’t list them all on one hand. He was poor in money but rich in love. 

One day, he’d have money to buy them all presents. Maybe he’d have a house to invite them over to. He wasn’t asking for much, but he was definitely working hard to get it. 

He never thought he’d be up on a stage in underwear, very tight and small underwear, rolling his hips and dragging his hands up his chest. 

But it was getting a good reaction from the crowd and they were giving him money. Lots of it. A few minutes of dancing gave him more tips than working hours in the cafe in it. It wasn’t easy money by a long shot, but it was worth it. 

Especially when they song finally came to an end and he heard the Boss’s voice on the intercom. “Let’s hear it for Captain America!”

More cheering. More money. More touching. 

He waved at the crowd, smiling, and leaned down to pick up the money that either fell out of his band or was just thrown on the stage. He held it all close, afraid of someone coming and taking that money that he earned. He wouldn’t put it past his boss. 

Then he hurried off the stage and Amora was there waiting for him. “You did great out there! Especially for your first time. Seemed like a natural.”

Now that he was done and off the stage, he could feel himself start to shake. “I can’t believe I just did that.” 

She smirked. “You did great. Now go put all that by your stuff and come back out for more. The night is still young, my friend.” 

Steve nodded his head and went to the back. He went straight for his bag and stuffed the bills where they would be safe. Once his earnings were safe, he leaned against the vanity table and let out a sigh. He knew that was the first of many times he’d have to go up there, but at least he survived his first time. 

“Hey, Captain America,” he heard his boss call from the doorway. His voice wasn’t angry. He actually sounded pleased. “Get back out here. You’ve got a special request at table 4.”

“A special request?”

“You made a good impression on a fine gentleman that wants a private little dance of his own.” He winked. “Get out there and dance, Captain.” Then he was gone. 

Steve took a few steadying breaths before he was ready to walk back out there. He kept his head held high as he strutted through the club. This earned more touches as he passed, but he could ignore the occasional pinch to his ass. Especially when it sometimes resulted in another dollar being shoved into his underwear.

When he reached table 4, he put a smile on his face and asked, “Someone looking for a dance?”

The man pulled the sunglasses off his face and Steve’s confident facade crumpled when he saw the eyes behind them. 

_ God, let this be a nightmare.  _

“Holy shit, it’s really you.”

“Tony?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the set updating schedule is now Mondays and Thursdays.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes ok it's 12:11 am so that counts as monday  
> AND I SURVIVED THE PROJECTS AND ESSAYS. got a few more weeks until the next ones are due.

Steve did the only rational thing he could possibly do after finding out the customer that ordered a lap dance from him was the very same man that he was practically in love with. He ran. 

Why the hell was Tony here? That meant he not only saw Steve in the underwear, but he watched him strip down to it on stage. Why did he call him over? Was he going to make fun of him for it and laugh? He wasn’t about to find out.

He ran into the back room and slammed the door shut. He couldn’t go back out there. Not until Tony was gone. And even then, he didn’t want to work again tonight, but his shift only just started. He didn’t even know how he was going to know when Tony was gone. Maybe he could convince Amora to let him know.

Suddenly he heard footsteps down the hall and he groaned. That was surely Rumlow coming to tell him to get back out there. When he heard the door open, he braced himself for the yelling as he turned around. But it wasn’t his boss. 

“What the hell are doing?” Steve yelled at Tony as he walked inside the room. 

“What I should have done the first time you ran away from me. Chasing after you.” Tony’s voice didn’t have any mockery to it. Even if he was looking Steve up and down. 

Steve turned around and grabbed the nearest piece of clothing to cover himself up. It was one of Amora’s robes, but it was better than standing there in his shorts stuffed with dollar bills. He wrapped the robe around his waist, but he knew it would do nothing to cover the rest of him, bright red from embarrassment. Damn Irish skin. “Why?”

Tony took a step closer and Steve took a step backward, hitting the vanity as he did so. There was nowhere else to run. “Because I can’t lose you again.” 

Steve didn’t know what to say, so he stayed quiet as he held the robe around himself tightly. 

Tony’s voice was soft as he asked, “Is this why you ran off the other day and said you couldn’t be with me? Did you think I wouldn’t want you because you worked here?”

_ No. I’m the man on the street you pity. The one you give your spare change to.  _ “I’m not the man you deserve.”

Shaking his head, Tony reached out to grab Steve’s hand, but Steve pulled them closer to himself. Tony paused. “This doesn’t change how I see you, Steve. I mean, it makes me a little jealous that everyone else gets to see you like this, but hey, when you come home after a shift, I can give you really good jealous lover sex.” 

“Tony,” Steve said, not sure why he was still surprised by the man’s bluntness. 

“Come on, blue eyes, I’m teasing. Well, partially.” He took another step closer until they were only an inch apart. “I miss you...and I hope you’ve been missing me too.” 

Steve shouldn’t have, but he nodded his head. 

Tony’s smile turned more genuine. “Then what the hell are we doing? Because I want to be with you and this doesn’t change that. If you’re happy, then I’m happy.” 

_ But I’m not happy here.  _ “I’m happy with you.” 

“Then what do you say we have a little do-over then?”

Steve smiled, his shoulders relaxing. “I’d like that. But on one condition.” 

“Anything for you, tesoro.” 

Steve wished he knew Italian so he knew what the nicknames Tony had for him were. He also wish he wasn’t wearing only a tight pair of spandex when Tony was speaking to him in Italian. Thank God for that robe. 

“I pick the restaurant,” he said after clearing his throat. “No fancy Italian restaurants.” 

“Okay, fine. We’ll go to your choice.”

“Thank you,” Steve smiled, already thinking of all the places they could go. The diner that he and Peter used to go to would be nice. 

“Thank me with a kiss,” Tony said, putting his hand on the back of Steve’s neck to pull him in closer. Steve definitely wasn’t going to argue with that. 

But, of course, before their lips could touch, the door slammed open again, but this time, it wasn’t a friend. “If I have to drag you out of here one more time, blondie…” Rumlow trailed off when he saw that Steve was not alone in the room. 

Steve prepared for an even louder scolding because he brought someone back here, but it never came. Not before Tony pulled away and spoke up first, “Sorry about that, man. We needed a little privacy for my special request if you know what I mean…” He chuckled as he pulled out his wallet and then a few bills from it. Much larger than singles. “He definitely earned this.” 

Steve was frozen still as Tony pulled open his robe and then tugged on the band of his shorts. He was much more gentler than anyone else that had done that. He leaned in closer, his eyes never looking away from Steve’s and he whispered, “Call me, blue eyes.” Then he was shoving the bills in his pants before he let go of his shorts, the band snapping against his waist. 

Steve let out a little gasp and Tony grinned before turning away and walking past his boss. He paused just before disappearing and said, “I’ll see you boys next time.” Then he was gone and Steve wished he was alone so he could splash his face with cold water. Maybe think of something totally disturbing to get himself to forget Tony. Seeing Rumlow leer at him from the doorway was good enough to ruin the mood though. “Good job, blondie. And here I thought you were running off and crying on the job again. Getting some action, though.” 

“Thanks…” 

“Of course,” he said, walking over to him, stopping just where Tony was previously standing. “Some of that is mine.” He yanked the robe off of his hips and Steve wished he wasn’t already pressing his back into the vanity. He wanted to get as far from this man as he could. He tugged on Steve’s shorts so hard that he had him stumbling towards him and he pulled out the money Tony had just left. “70/30 sounds fair, don’t it?” He asked, counting the bills. 

Steve wanted to argue that no that  _ wasn’t  _ fair. Rumlow didn’t do anything to earn this money. But he knew his place and he knew it would be easier to just stay quiet. 

He finally handed Steve back his share and smirked. “Who would have thought you’d be such a money maker? Knew I needed you here for a reason. Keep it up. I want you back out there.”

“Yes, sir,” Steve muttered as he watched him go. He picked Amora’s robe up off the floor and put it back on the chair how she had it. He put away what money he was left with and knew the next time he got a tip like that, he had to hide it before Rumlow could follow him and take it. 

Well, unless Tony came back again, he wasn’t getting a tip like that again. But for all of his other dances, he’d get a lot hopefully. 

He went back out there and didn’t have to work too hard at keeping his mind off of what he was doing. All he could think about was Tony. He was getting a second chance. And maybe he still didn’t deserve a man like Tony, but maybe he could give it a try. They had a home now at least. 

When he got changed after his shift and was ready to leave, he pulled out his phone and sent Tony a text:  _ tomorrow at 7. _

Amora came up beside him with a smirk. “What’s got you so happy? Hot date?”

Steve grinned at her as he threw his bag over his shoulder. “You have no idea.” 

* * *

Steve should have gotten home-- no, Nat’s place; he couldn’t afford to think of it as home-- and done what he always did. Sneak in very quietly so he didn’t wake her or Peter up, take a shower, and then crawl into bed with Peter to at least get some sleep before he had to be up in less than three hours. 

But he didn’t. 

He rushed inside, threw his backpack to the couch and ran right into Nat’s room. He jumped right into her bed and started shaking her shoulders. “Nat!” He kept his voice in a harsh whisper so he at least didn’t wake up Peter. 

In one swift motion, Nat had her legs wrapped around Steve’s waist and flipped onto his back. When her eyes adjusted to the darkness in the room, she blinked and squinted down at him. “Steve?” He smiled up at her. “What the fuck are you doing?” 

“I wanted to tell you something.”

“At 4 in the morning?” She asked, incredulously. “Did you just get back from work? You could have at least showered first before coming in here. You smell like booze and adultery.” She loosened her hold on his waist and fell back to the mattress next to him. “I coulda killed you, you know.” 

“I know. But you didn’t. So guess what.” 

“Are we really going to play this game  _ right now?”  _ She groaned as she closed her eyes again. 

“Yes. The sooner you get it, the sooner I let you go back to bed.” 

“You changed your mind and you’re bringing home the thong.” 

“Ew. No. That stays there and it’s not a thong,” he said. 

“Without getting to see you in the outfit, I have to use my imagination. And my imagination says it’s a thong.” 

Steve’s face pinched in disgust. “Don’t imagine me in a thong.” 

“Then show me the outfit.” 

Rolling his eyes, Steve decided that she wasn’t going to guess. She wasn’t going to talk about anything other than his stupid costume. So, he told her, “Tony was at the club tonight.” 

That had Natasha’s eyes wide open and her sitting up. “What?”

“Tony was there. He saw my dance and then called me over for a lap dance.” 

“Did you give it to him?” She was facing him, now suddenly interested in being awake at 4 am. 

“I didn’t give him the dance,” Steve shoved her so she’d wipe that smirk off her face. 

“I guess it makes sense. If you got on Stark’s lap, that thong would be off in no time.” 

Steve regretted coming in to tell her. “Why are you always thinking about pornogrpahic things involving me?”

“Because you’re hot?” Natasha said as if that were obvious. “And it makes you uncomfortable. It’s amusing to me. Also, adding Tony into the equation makes your cheeks and ears go red in about .3 seconds. New record.” 

“I need a better best friend.” He said, laying back down and staring up at the ceiling. 

“You’ve got a four-year-old in the other room if you want. But I doubt you can tell him about all of your stripping adventures. He definitely doesn’t wanna know about all the dirty thoughts you have about Stark.” 

“I can get up and leave. I’ll go drown myself in the shower and leave a note behind saying you were behind it all.” 

“God, you’re so dramatic. Just tell me what happened with Tony already before I really do drown you. And believe me, when I tell the police that my motive was you waking me up before the sun was even u, they won’t even charge me.”

“We’re going out tomorrow. A diner because I’m picking this time.” 

When Natasha looked over at Steve again, she wasn’t giving him a teasing smirk anymore. She was smiling softly. “I’m happy for you, Steve. I’m glad you’re giving it a chance.” 

“He saw me at the club and he didn’t think of me any different,” he said, staring back up at the ceiling. 

“Well, I bet he probably thinks of you different now. His fantasies are based on reality after seeing you in your little shorts.” 

Steve ignored her comment. “He doesn’t even have to know that we were living on the street,” he said. “He never has to know. Peter and I are gonna be okay.” 

“He doesn’t have to know now, but eventually, I think you should tell him. It’s not something you have to hide or feel ashamed about.”

Natasha didn’t understand. No one could unless they were going through what Steve was. Sure, it was embarrassing that he had to shower in a public gym and he slept wherever he could manage, and he survived on wasted food from a cafe he worked at, and he started to strip just to make enough. But none of that was what he was ashamed about. 

The thing that made Steve absolutely horrible was the fact that he couldn’t take care of his son. That was what he was ashamed of. 

“Maybe…” 

“Definitely. At least, I would. But you’re you. Stubborn. So, whatever you do decide in the end, I’ve got your back. If you need me to pretend like we’ve been roommates for years, I’ve got you.” 

Steve turned on his side to face her. He wasn’t sure what he did to get so lucky. Natasha didn’t feel real sometimes. Like she was too good to be true. “Are you an angel?”

She looked at him like he was crazy. Maybe he was. “Excuse me?”

Steve shrugged his shoulders, suddenly feeling stupid for actually believing it. He actually believed that she plopped right into his life by God Himself. “Just wondering if you’re an angel.” 

“Probably. But Lucifer was an angel too, so I’d be careful.” She sighed and got back underneath the blankets. “Now that we’ve established that I’m the second coming of Lucifer, I recommend leaving me alone so I can get at least some sleep before your crazy child is waking me up with an elbow to my face.”

“That was one time,” Steve laughed. 

“One time too many.”

Steve shook his head as he stood up from her bed. “Then I don’t suggest sleeping with him. He’s a kicker.” 

“You better get into that shower and then right into bed with him. If he wakes up and comes to me because you’re still showering, I will wake you up with an elbow to the face.” 

“Goodnight,” Steve said as he walked out of her room. 

“Yeah, yeah. Shut the door behind you.” 

“Love you,” he sang from her doorway. The last thing he saw before he shut the door was her flipping him off. 

* * *

“Another date?” Peter asked as he laid on Natasha’s couch, chewing on a cheese stick from her refrigerator. She’d started to think of Peter when food shipping and picked up snacks he liked. 

“We’re going out to dinner. Remember the diner we always went to?” He straightened the shirt he was wearing. It was just a clean t-shirt he had that wasn’t incredibly wrinkled and he was happy that at least, he knew he wouldn’t be underdressed. Hopefully, Tony wouldn’t be overdressed, even though Steve could completely imagine him in his suit and tie in the middle of a diner. 

“I don’t like when you leave,” Peter said with a pout. 

“Your Papa can go out and have fun, Pete,” Natasha said, sitting down next to him. She lifted him up and sat him on her lap. She was good at getting Peter to not freak out whenever he wasn’t right at Steve’s side. “We’re gonna have a lot of fun without him.” 

“Without him?”

“You bet. We’re gonna eat something yummy for dinner and then I’ve got a surprise for dessert.”

Steve relaxed, knowing that he was going to be fed well while he was gone. 

A few minutes later, there was a buzzing over the intercom. Steve looked over at Natasha and smiled. “That’s him, I better get going.” He wanted to get out of there before the prospect of dinner and dessert no longer pleased Peter enough to distract him. He came over to them both and pressed a kiss to Peter’s cheek while he hugged him around his neck. 

“I love you, Papa! Have fun!” 

“Love you too, baby. I’ll see you soon.” He ruffled his hair with a warning, “You better be a good boy for Nat.” 

“He always is,” she said. “Don’t you worry about us. Go enjoy yourself, please. No running off this time.” 

Steve smiled as he shook his head. “Don’t need to. He ran after me the second time. Must be the one, huh?”

She grinned at him right back. “Maybe he is.” 

 

Steve knew he was when he walked down and saw Tony leaning against his car, waiting for Steve to come out. He was bundled up in a designer coat, scarf, and gloves. Steve was wearing the gloves he bought from the GoodWill store, but Tony wouldn’t know that. 

That wasn’t what had Steve smiling though. It was the flowers he held in his hands. Steve paused a few steps from the front door and shook his head. “Tony, what are you doing?”

“Picking up my handsome date for some dinner.” He pushed himself off of the car and started walking towards Steve. 

“I mean with the flowers,” Steve said pointedly, staring at the red, white, and blue flowers. 

“Every dancer deserves flowers after their performance, no?” He smirked and even though his eyes were covered by those sunglasses, Steve knew they were filled with mirth. 

“Are you making fun of me?” Steve asked, laughing as he realized Tony had seen the colors of his shorts that night on stage. The flowers were no coincidence. 

Tony feigned shock. “Me make fun of you? Never. I just wanted to give you flowers for that wonderful show to thank me.” 

Steve shook his head but took the flowers anyway. “You already thanked me enough with the money. Which you did not need to do.” He made sure that the last part was stern because he didn’t want Tony thinking he was some charity case.

“There’s a difference between stuffing bills in your shorts and giving you flowers, Steven.” He took another step closer as he raised his eyebrows. Steve thought it was endearing that he had to look up at him since Tony was a few inches shorter. “The money was too keep you out of trouble with the boss man. The flowers are for you because this is a do-over, remember? And I’m pulling out all the tricks to woo you.” He paused. “And okay, the flowers are also because you put on a great show, but I don’t think we should talk about that in public.”

Steve laughed. “We can save that for later.” He looked down at the flowers in his hand and smiled back up at Tony. “Thank you for the flowers. Really.” 

“You’re very welcome, tesoro. Do you wanna run back up and put them in water?” 

Steve shook his head. “If I go back up there, Peter won’t let me down. I’ll keep them in the car. They’ll be okay for a few more hours.” 

Tony smiled. “Whatever you say.” He took a few steps backward and opened up his car door for him. Steve rolled his eyes at how much of a gentleman he was being. “You’re ridiculous.” 

“I know. It’s cute, isn’t it?”

Steve stepped inside the car and looked up at him. “Maybe.” 

Tony shut his door and Steve watched with a smile as he hurried around the front of the car to get to his door. Usually, Tony was so calm and collected about everything. It was nice to see him excited and maybe a bit nervous. He got into the car and smiled over at him. “You know where we’re going?”

Steve nodded his head. “I’ll give you the directions.” He placed the flowers on his lap and directed Tony throughout the city streets. Halfway through the drive, Tony reached out and took Steve’s hand in his. Steve looked from their hands to the anxious look on Tony’s face and he smiled. 

Before long, they were at the diner and Steve looked to see Tony’s reaction. “Have you ever eaten in one of these before or are you just fancy 5-star restaurants?”

“I’ve eaten at diners before. Rhodey, Happy, and I usually have guys’ night out somewhere fast and cheap. Burger King is our guilty pleasure.” 

Steve smiled at him as he opened up his door. “Well, don’t worry, this is a little better than Burger King.” 

* * *

Unlike last time, Steve was in charge of the date. So he led them inside, his hand still holding Tony’s and asked to be seated. There wasn’t a wait even though they didn’t have any reservations. 

They were seated just behind a family of five, having a very loud and messy dinner. Steve smiled as he watched the father try and clean ketchup from his youngest’s hair while the other two continued their spitball fight with the mother laughing between them. 

“You see all that chaos?” Steve said quietly to Tony as they sat down. 

“Yes…” he said hesitantly. 

“That’s how much Peter causes all by himself.” 

That got a small laugh from Tony. “No way.” 

“Yes way. He looks super cute and sweet, but he’s a monster. Just ask Nat.” 

Tony’s foot found Steve’s underneath the table and he smiled. “You’ve always got your hands full with him.”

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.” Steve looked down at the menu and it was weird not to go right to the kids’ part. Still, he didn’t want to spend too much on himself because he picked out the restaurant, so maybe he was the one expected to pay for it. Tony did cover the last bill. 

“So, what’s good here?” Tony asked, reading his own menu. 

“Peter likes their chicken fingers and their fries. He always takes mine.” Steve wasn’t sure if that was helpful or not, but he didn’t usually order for himself when he went out so he couldn’t give any suggestions to Tony. 

“Burgers are usually a safe bet,” Tony decided as he closed his menu. 

When the waitress came to take their order, Tony ordered his burger and Steve got the chicken fingers and fries. Whatever he didn’t eat, he could bring home to Peter.

Once that was all out of the way and they could focus on each other, Steve noticed that Tony still looked anxious. Their roles seemed to be reversed from last time. “You don’t have to be so nervous.” 

“I’m not nervous,” Tony said, even though he was sitting at the table with tense shoulders and he still hadn’t taken the sunglasses off his face yet. 

“Tony.”

Relenting, he sighed, “Okay...it’s just that...last time we went out, it didn’t end so well. I just don’t want to scare you off again.” 

Steve felt like an ass for running away on him. He reached forward and took Toy’s hand. “You didn’t scare me off. I was just...overthinking. I won’t run away again.” 

“I must have done something to make you overthink, though. And what’s gonna stop me from doing it again?” He shook his head. 

“Tony, you’re fine. Don’t freak out. I’m not going anywhere. We’re going to have a nice dinner and you’re going to drive me home and it’s going to be perfect.” Steve reached up but hesitated just before grabbing his sunglasses. “May I?”

Tony nodded his head. “Yeah, sorry.” 

Steve smiled and carefully took Tony’s glasses off of his head. “There are those eyes. I miss them when you’ve got ‘em hiding.” 

“I was just thinking,” Tony said, his eyes looking down at the table now that there was nothing in front of them. “You didn’t know who I was last time. And then you found out and it’s been a few days since you did...plenty of time to do your research on the infamous Tony Stark. What if you changed your mind?”

Steve started to caress Tony’s hand with his thumb as he held his hand to try and calm him down. “If I changed my mind then I wouldn’t be on this date, would I? I asked you out. I want to be here with you.”

“Yeah, but do you know who you’re with? Tony Stark. One Google search and you’ll find out all the reasons you should probably avoid me and keep Peter far away.” 

“Will you hurt him?”

“What?” Tony asked, looking up. 

“Will you hurt Peter?”

“Of course not,” he said, almost offended Steve would ask. 

“I didn’t think you would. So then why should I keep him away from you?”

“Because I’m not a role model for kids,” he said. “If you knew half the things I’ve done--.”

“But I don’t,” Steve said. “I don’t because I don’t want to know. Mistakes you’ve made in the past are exactly that: your past. They’re what has made you into the man you are today. No one is perfect, Tony. Not even me. Especially not me. So, Google can say whatever they damn well please about you. Doesn’t mean I need to go stalking everything I can find. It’s not my business.” He squeezed Tony’s hands. “If there’s something you want me to know about you, please tell me, but other than that, you don't have to. Everyone deserves their privacy.”

Really, it hadn’t even come to Steve’s mind: searching Tony’s name on the internet. Maybe because the night that he found out he was  _ someone  _ was the night they ended things. But even now, he didn’t want to go stalking Tony to find out things. Steve knew if the paparazzi were following him around, he wouldn’t want Tony to judge him based on the mistakes he made.  

Tony visibly relaxed. “You really mean that? You’re being serious?”

Steve smiled and nodded his head. “Whatever comes up, either from the past or something new, we’ll deal with it. But, I’m not going to leave you for it.”

“Wow, I really got the best man, huh?”

Steve shook his head. “I wouldn’t go that far.” 

“But I would. I really would.” 

 

That smile stayed on Steve’s face the entire night. And even when it got closer to the check coming, he didn’t care about how much he’d have to pay. He had a fun night with Tony and it was worth every penny. He could afford it with the tips he’d earned at the club. 

He wrapped up half of his dinner to bring back to Peter and when the check did come, Tony grabbed it before Steve could. For this dinner, Steve knew he could afford to put up a fight. “Come on, Tony. I invited you out, I can cover it.” 

“I’m sure you can, blue eyes. But I have more money than I know what to do with. Save it. Christmas is coming”

“Tony…”

“I mean it, Steve. This is nothing.”

Steve sighed. “Okay, but one day, I’m covering dinner.” He wanted to at least be able to do that. 

“Well, of course,” Tony said. “We will have plenty more dates to argue over the check.” 

That sent a bunch of butterflies flying through his stomach and Steve never wanted to kiss him so badly. It had been 4 botched attempts at trying to get their lips to touch even once. He just wanted to kiss him. 

Before Steve could tackle him across the table, Tony said, “I was thinking. We could always stop somewhere on the way back and get some dessert. But I was hoping I could take you back to my place? I really don’t want to say goodnight just yet.” 

Steve knew that line was usually reserved for guys trying to get the girl to come back to his place and put out after a nice dinner, but when Tony said it, he didn’t get that feeling. He really felt that Tony was genuine when he admitted that just wanted more time together. And Steve couldn’t disagree. “I don’t know…” 

“We don’t have to do anything,” Tony said immediately. “I’m not forcing you to do anything. I just really would like to maybe watch a movie together or something. Maybe have some dessert.”

“I didn’t plan on staying the night,” Steve said, even though the selfish part of him wished he could just nod his head and go home with him. 

“I have an extra toothbrush and I’ve probably got something you can fit into.” Tony was trying so hard to get this to work and Steve found it adorable. 

“But Peter…”   
“Can’t you call Nat? Let her know. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.” 

Steve knew she wouldn’t. It was Peter he was worried about. Sure, he’d left him alone for a few hours at night, but this would be the first time he left him alone without falling asleep next to him and being next to him when he woke up. “Yeah, I’ll give her a call.” 

Tony smiled. “You handle that while I wait for her to come back.” 

Steve nodded and stepped away from the table. He took a deep breath as he walked to the corner of the restaurant and dialed Natasha’s phone number. 

She picked up and asked, “What are you doing calling during your date?”

“Nat, I need a favor…” 

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, but Tony suggested us going back to his place and--.”

“Oh, you sly dog.” 

Steve huffed at her tone. “It’s not like that. We’re just going to have dessert and--.”

“Does dessert involve Stark licking whipped cream off your nipples?”

“Natasha, I swear to God, my son better not be anywhere near you.” 

She laughed loudly. “No, he’s watching TV in the living room while I get our dessert ready. He’s watching Elf and the kid is barely able to breathe between all of his giggling.”

“Do you think I should go back with Tony…?”

“Do you want to?” Natasha asked seriously. 

“Yeah, I really do,” Steve answered. 

“Then go. Have fun, Steve. Your last date night was ruined. Let yourself enjoy this. I’ve got Peter.” 

“Can you put him on the phone? So I can say goodnight and let him know?”

“Of course,” she said. It sounded like she was walking into the other room and Steve could hear Peter’s laughter. He smiled. “I’m just gonna pause this for a minute, Pete. Your pops is on the phone.” 

Peter was on the phone a second later and Steve wouldn’t be surprised if he jumped up and grabbed the phone from her. “Papa!” 

“Hey, bear. How is your night going?”

“Good! Nat is making us brownies!” 

“Oh, that sounds delicious.” 

“Are you coming home now? We can save you some and they’ll still be warm.” 

Steve took in a deep breath and released it before he said, “Actually, that’s why I’m calling you. I’m going back to Tony’s house tonight. I won’t be back to Nat’s until tomorrow.” 

“But…” Peter immediately sounded scared.

“You’re safe with Nat, remember? And you can call me later tonight just before you go to sleep if you want. You’re going to be okay.” 

“But Papa, I need you,” he said, meaning every word. He heard Natasha’s voice talk to him, but he couldn’t pick up what she was saying. However, Peter let him know what she was saying by screeching a reply to her. “No! It’s not okay! I can’t sleep without Papa!” 

“Do not yell at Natasha, Peter Rogers,” Steve said. “She is helping me and I’m asking you to help me too.” 

“But Papa, I need you here.” 

“I know you think you do, but you’ll be okay. I promise you.” 

Peter was sniffling, but at least he wasn’t sobbing. “Papa, but what if I can’t sleep?”

“If you really can’t sleep and you need me, then you tell Nat to call me and I will be right home to you. I promise.” 

He took almost a full minute to answer. “...okay…” 

“Thank you, baby boy. I’ll see you tomorrow after school, okay? I’ll take you out and we’ll do something special.” Steve smiled, hoping that Peter would pick up on it through the phone. 

“I love you, Papa. Goodnight,” he whispered. “I’ll miss you ‘till tomorrow.” 

“I love you so much, sweetie. Goodnight.” He made a kissing sound through the phone and smiled when Peter did it back. 

A few seconds later, Natasha was back on the phone. “I think this is a good idea,” she whispered. 

Steve sighed. “I just feel horrible for leaving him.” 

“It’ll be good to get some space. He needs to learn to fall asleep without you right next to him. He can’t even sleep when you’re in another room.” She didn’t sound accusing, only worried. 

“Which is why I probably should make him spend his first night alone when I’m not even there.” 

“No, this is what he needs. We both know he’d sneak to you if he could. I’ll sit with him tonight and get him to sleep. You don’t need to worry about us. Enjoy Tony.” 

Steve nodded his head. “Thank you.” 

“And don’t forget protection!” She said, laughing through it.

“I’m hanging up now.” 

“Establish safe words!” 

“Goodbye, Natasha,” he said, hanging up before she could make another remark. He shook his head as he walked back to the table where Tony was standing and staring at him with a smile. 

“Everything all good?”

“Yeah. Just had to say goodnight to Peter.” 

Tony held his arm out for Steve. Then I believe it is time to go. Your chariot awaits.” 

“My chariot?” Steve laughed as he walked over to him and linked his arm with Tony’s. 

“Oh, yes. Only the best for you, Cinderella.” Tony started to walk them out of the restaurant. 

“Cinderella?” Steve repeated, more amused than anything else. 

“You’ve got her hair and her eyes, but even better, we met and had a wonderful night before you ran off. I had to, of course, go chasing after you without even a shoe to follow. And instead of finding you in your step mother’s attic, I found you in a strip club.” 

“Good thing you decided to go out for some fun, huh?” Steve teased. 

“I had to get a certain blue-eyed man out of my mind,” Tony said. “I just didn’t think I’d find him up on stage shaking his delicious little ass.” 

Steve shook his head at that as he laughed. “Please  _ never  _ say that again.” 

“You make it too easy to get you all flustered,” Tony said. “Which is why I was surprised to see you up there.” 

“You and me both.” 

“Well, you looked good up there. You still owe me that lap dance though…” He winked as he nudged him with his shoulder. 

“Let’s see how dessert goes first.” 

 

Dessert ended up not happening. 

Not because they got distracted or the night went bad or Peter called for Steve to come home early. 

As it turned out, not sleeping the night before because of the strip club and then taking Peter to school, working all day at the cafe, and then going out to dinner left Steve feeling beyond tired. 

He didn’t start to feel the exhaustion creeping up on him until the drive back to Tony’s and he tried to keep his eyes from drooping shut. 

They pulled up in front of a large tower that even had Stark written across the top of it. “Is this...all yours?”

“Well, the first few dozen floors are for the business, but the top ones are my private floors,” Tony explained as he opened the door for them to walk through. Steve was a little less tired as he glanced around the lobby. It was huge and looked immaculate. He didn’t even want to walk on the floors. 

“If you think this is impressive, just wait until you see the penthouse.” Tony waved to a few people as they passed and exchanged their greetings, but Steve was focused on everything else. When they got into the elevator and it was bringing them up, Steve looked to Tony and said, “Wow. You really are rich.” 

Tony laughed. “Yeah, wasn’t lying to you about that. Don’t worry about security, by the way. You need to scan your fingerprint to get up to my floors and only 3 people other than me have that access. Well, soon to be 4.” He grabbed Steve’s hand and squeezed it gently. 

“You’re gonna add mine…” 

“Of course, and when Peter gets older, he’ll have his added too.” 

Steve blamed his brain being tired, but hearing Tony planning their future and including Peter too...he couldn’t help it when he leaned down and pressed his lips to Tony’s. When he realized what he was doing, he pulled away quickly. “Oh, my God. I’m sorry, Tony.” 

Tony was already wrapping his hand around Steve’s neck to pull him back down. “Why are you apologizing? As your boyfriend, I appreciate a kiss.” 

“My boyfriend,” Steve said softly.

“Yes. If you’ll have me.” Steve nodded his head immediately. Tony smiled. “Good.” Then he pulled him closer until their lips were touching again. Steve grabbed Tony’s hips and pulled him closer as he backed up until his back smacked into the elevator doors. He smiled when Tony laughed into the kiss. 

When the elevator doors opened, they must have been too wrapped up in each other to hear the warning beep because the doors opened briskly and Steve no longer had the support to keep him up. He stumbled backwards and would have fallen to the ground if Tony hadn’t grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. 

“I’m so glad that door waited until after we kissed to open because if we had been interrupted one more time, I swear I would have lost it.” 

Steve hadn’t kissed anyone in over 4 years and he had been okay with that...up until now. Now, he wanted to pull Tony back in for another kiss. So he did. He leaned down, cupped Tony’s cheeks and kissed him like he wasn’t getting another chance to. 

Tony pulled back a few seconds later after needing air. “Wow, okay, you’re really good at that.”

“I want to do it again,” Steve said, pulling him in for another kiss. 

Tony pulled away with a smile after a few seconds of kissing. “As much as I would like to spend the rest of the night kissing those lips, what about our movie and dessert?”

“What if we just skipped dessert? We could curl up and watch a movie.” His eyes flickered down to Tony’s lips. “But nothing with plot because I don’t plan on paying attention to the movie.” 

“You really wanna just lay in bed and make-out like teenagers?”

“Why not?”

“Shit. Can’t argue with that.” Tony grabbed his hand and started pulling him further into the penthouse. “You’ll get the grand tour tomorrow. Promise.” 

Steve couldn’t care less about the penthouse. Not right now. He kept his eyes on Tony as he pulled him along, down a hallway and through a door. He knew this was Tony’s bedroom from the huge king size bed in the middle. There was a wall of windows overlooking the city and Steve couldn’t believe Tony got to wake up to that every morning. 

“I’ve got some sweatpants you can fit into,” Tony said, going to his drawers. “They’re not mine. Rhodey and Happy always leave stuff behind. I can get you a pair of sweats and a t-shirt if you want.” 

Steve smiled as he took the clothes Tony from the dresser. “Thank you.” 

He went back and grabbed another set. “I’m gonna run into the bathroom and get changed real quick.” 

“You can get dressed in here with me,” Steve offered. 

“No. You have enough people watching you strip usually. It’s not about any of that tonight. I want you to just relax and get changed without an audience.” He pressed a kiss to his cheek before disappearing into the bathroom.

_ God, I love him. _

Steve got changed quickly, for once not wasting his time on practicing his method at all. Tony was right. Tonight wasn’t about any of that. He pulled the borrowed pants on, followed by the t-shirt and then got into bed. 

It was huge, but he made sure to crawl into the center of it so that Tony and he could be close. He laid his head down on one of the pillows and stared over at the bathroom door, waiting for Tony to step out. Now that he was laying in bed-- probably the softest bed he had ever felt, the exhaustion was coming back. 

He couldn’t keep his eyes open after a few long blinks and he decided it would be easier to just keep them shut until he heard the bathroom door open. Unfortunately, he was passed out within moments of closing his eyes and he didn’t wake up even when the bathroom door did finally open. 

Maybe he was in that state between being awake and asleep where he was just barely aware of what was going on around him. He heard the door open and then the mattress dip slightly as the blanket was lifted up. Someone slid into bed next to him, pressed a kiss to his head, and whispered, “Goodnight, Steve.” 

Steve smiled and let himself drift off to sleep, feeling safe in the arms that held him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh i'm super excited for the next chapter! Thank you again for all of your thoughts! Last chapter I had so many reviews, I was so happy! It means a lot to me.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can college stop with these fucking essays and projects? i have better things to do. 
> 
> i have been waiting forever to post this chapter...one of my favs. I literally wrote some of this back in may. please enjoy

Steve paused outside of the small house and took it in. It was small and squeezed between other buildings, but it wasn’t bad for the city. It looked homely. Peter was tucked inside the carrier on his chest. He had no idea what they were here for and Steve was afraid of his reaction when he found out. 

He took a deep breath and walked forward until he was just in front of the door. He knocked a few times and then pulled his hand back, wrapping it around Peter’s back, holding him closer for just a bit longer. 

The door swung open, revealing a young couple with their shoulders pressed against each other as they squeezed in the doorway. The woman spoke first, “You must be Steve and Peter!”

Steve wanted to run. He wanted to get the hell out of here. It wasn’t too late. Why couldn’t he run? Instead, his feet stayed planted in their spot. “That’s us.” 

“Come in,” the man said, ushering them in. “Please take a seat.” 

Steve took a step into the home and immediately felt warm. He looked around at the small living room filled with books and framed photographs. It felt like a  _ home. _ “You have a lovely home.” 

“Thank you, Mr. Rogers,” the woman gushed, holding her hands to her chest. 

“Please call me Steve. If we’re going to be doing this, I’m Steve.” 

“Of course,” she said, her smile only widening. “We can’t tell you how much this means to us. We’ve been waiting years for someone to work with us and God has finally given us an answer to our prayer.” 

_ God answers your prayers by ignoring mine?  _

“May is getting a little ahead of herself.” The man chuckled, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Is that the little guy there?”

Steve nodded his head. “Yeah. This is Peter,” he said before carefully pulling him out of the carrier. He set him down on his lap to face the couple. 

“Ben, isn’t he so precious?” May gasped, immediately covering her mouth. She turned to Steve and said, “Can I hold him please?”

Steve wanted to say no, but the opposite came out. “Of course.” 

May reached forward and grabbed Peter under his arms. She pulled him to her chest and hugged him tightly. Turning towards her husband, she said, “Oh, Ben, he’s the one. I know he is.” 

Ben smiled at the two before ruffling Peter’s hair. “You two were meant for each other.” 

Steve wanted to scream and break that man’s hand for touching his son. But he didn’t. “He’s a good kid. Only gets fussy when he’s tired. He loves space, absolutely loves it.” Steve lifted the small backpack he had in his hand. “And his stuffed animal is in here; his name is Elliot. Peter can’t sleep without him.”

_ No, he can’t sleep without me.  _

“We’ll get him whatever he wants!” May declared. “I'll pull every star from the sky for him. I’ll buy him a million stuffed animals. Whatever he wants, we can get him.” 

Steve tried to keep his eyes away from Peter. He didn’t want to see him. But Peter’s voice had him looking down. “Papa?” His eyes were confused and scared as he looked up at him. 

Steve mustered a smile for him. “It’s gonna be okay, Petey. You’re finally gonna have a place to live and food to eat.” 

Peter started shaking his head furiously, his eyes already overflowing with tears. “No, Papa. You promised.” 

Steve cupped his cheek and leaned forward to press a kiss to the top of his head. He savored the feeling of his curls tickling his nose as he did so. “It’s gonna be okay, sweetie. This is for the best.” 

Peter started to cry and Steve turned away. He couldn’t stand to see it. 

Ben smiled at him as if his boy wasn’t sobbing just next to him. “It is for the best. We’re going to take such great care of him. We’ll love him so much and give him everything he needs.” 

“I know you will,” Steve said. 

“And you’re sure that you want it to be a closed adoption? We wouldn’t mind you coming back to visit him every now and then,” May said, bouncing her leg to try and soothe Peter. He wasn’t having it though, as he tried to claw his way out of her arms. 

“It’s better this way.”  _ No, it’s not.  _ “I don’t want to confuse him. I want him growing up thinking he’s living a normal life.”  _ And that his father didn’t abandon him.  _

“We can give you a moment if you want to say goodbye to him,” Ben offered quietly. 

“I’d like that, but you don’t have to go anywhere. I don’t know if I’ll be able to leave him here on my own,” Steve admitted. 

“Of course,” Ben said, taking Peter into his arms and sitting him on his lap. Peter was twisting relentlessly, trying to get out of his arms. 

Steve kneeled in front of him and took Peter’s hands in his. “I love you, Peter. I love you so much.”

“Then why are you leaving me, Papa?” Peter sobbed, squeezing his hands. 

“Because this is best for you. I love you, but it would be selfish to keep you when I can’t take care of you.” Steve wasn’t shedding any tears, but on the inside, he was sobbing. 

“You said you wouldn’t. You said we hafta stay ‘gether.” Peter scrubbed at his eyes, even though it did nothing to slow his tears. 

“I know, but trust me. This is what’s best for you. You won’t even remember me or this stupid adventure I took you on. You’ll grow up and they’ll be Mom and Dad and you won’t even know any better.” That had Peter sobbing so hard he couldn’t catch his breath. He reached his hand out to touch Steve’s face and Steve took his wrist to move Peter’s hand to his lips and he pressed a kiss to his little palm. “I love you so much, Peter.”

“D-don’t leave me, Papa,” he cried, snot dripping down his lips. Steve rolled his sleeve over his hand to wipe it off for him. “I’m gonna miss you.”

Steve smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. It was a sad and empty one. “You won’t for long. But, me? I’ll miss you forever.” He leaned forward and pressed one last kiss to Peter’s forehead.

He pushed himself up to his feet, refusing to look at Peter anymore. He couldn’t if he wanted to get out of here without him.  _ Even though he didn’t.  _ “Thank you both. Thank you for taking care of my son when I can’t.” 

“We’re going to make him the happiest little boy in the world,” Ben told him. He handed Peter back to May and he walked over to Steve and offered his hand. Steve took it and shook it firmly. “It’s not your fault you couldn’t provide for him. Be at peace knowing that now that he’s my boy, I will do everything for him. He will never go hungry again.”

“Thank you,” Steve said, his voice only cracking slightly at the end. “Thank you for being the father I couldn’t.” 

“No thank you for giving us the answer to our prayers. Here is the payment for him. It should be more than enough for you to get off your feet.” He handed over an envelope to Steve and Steve took it. It was thick in his hand and he couldn’t believe he was giving up his son for money. Was he that desperate? When did it get this bad? 

He took it anyway and pocketed it.

Ben smiled at him. “You’re making the right choice, You were only hurting him by keeping him. This is better. So much better.” 

“I know,” Steve said, hating himself for it. He hesitated and then turned around and started walking towards the door, leaving his baby behind. Peter was screaming so loud, it sounded like he was tearing his throat apart. Steve kept his head down, trying to ignore his sobs. 

Even when he shut the door behind him and walked down the stoop, he could hear Peter screaming for him. He wanted to run back in there, scoop Peter up and never let him go, but his feet kept moving forward. 

They only stopped when he heard a banging behind him. He turned around before he could think twice about it and saw Peter pressing his red face against the window, pounding on the glass with his little fists. “Papa, please! Come back! Come back!”

Steve squeezed his eyes shut, unable to see his son in such pain caused by him. 

 

When he opened them a moment later, Tony was above him, looking scared. “Steve? Are you with me?”

Steve felt his heart pounding in his chest as he tried to take in where he was. This wasn’t a random apartment where he was dropping off Peter to strangers. This was Tony’s bed. Because they had gone on a date last night and Steve fell right asleep. 

So that meant...giving up Peter was just a dream.   _ More like a fucking nightmare.  _

“Peter?” Was the first word out of his mouth as he struggled to calm his breathing. 

“What about him?” Tony asked, trying to keep his voice soft. 

“Where is he?” Steve asked, looking around the room. He always woke up with him curled up on his chest.  _ Where was he?  _

“He’s still with Nat. Remember they had a sleepover of their own last night?” Tony said, rubbing Steve’s arm gently. 

“I need him. I need him.” 

“Okay, I’ll call Nat. You can talk to him if he’s awake,” Tony said but didn’t move from his spot next to Steve. 

“I can’t leave him. I can’t,” Steve whispered, unable to get the sound of Peter sobbing from his mind. 

“You don’t have to. I’ll give him a call.” Tony finally moved to the bedside table and grabbed Steve’s phone. 

“0810,” Steve said, giving him the pin to unlock it. 08, 10. August 10th. Peter’s birthday. 

Tony typed it in and looked over at him anxiously. “That was a rough one, huh? You were screaming for him.” 

Steve pushed himself up and reached for the phone. “I need to make sure he’s okay.”

Tony nodded his head, pressed a few more times on the screen and then handed it to Steve. Steve pressed the phone to his ear and held his breath as it rang until finally, the line was picked up. “Hello?” He heard Natasha’s sleep filled voice say. 

“Nat, where’s Peter?”

“Well, hello to you too, sunshine,” she replied. 

“Natasha, where is Peter?” He asked again, his voice growing more panicked. 

Natasha finally sensed that and her voice suddenly sounded more awake. “He’s right next to me. Sleeping, finally. Why?”

“I need to talk to him. Put him on the phone.” 

Natasha hesitated. “Put him on the phone? Steve, it’s 6 in the morning. He had trouble falling asleep without you. I’m not going to wake him up or he’ll never go back to bed.” 

“I need to talk to him. Please. Wake him up.” 

“Okay, okay.” Natasha pulled the phone away from her, but he could still hear her as she spoke softly. “Hey, Pete. Pete, your pops is on the phone.”

It only took a few seconds after that for Peter’s sleepy voice to be on the other end. “Papa?” 

Steve’s shoulders sagged in relief. “Hey, baby boy.” 

“You ‘kay, Papa? Bad dream?”

“I’m okay now that I can hear your voice,” Steve whispered. 

“I love you, Papa.” 

“And I love you. So much. Please never forget that....never forget me.” 

“You’re my Papa. I can’t forget you, silly.” 

“You promise?” 

“Yeah,” he said over a yawn. “Promise you to the moon and back!” 

Steve closed his eyes, chuckling softly. “It’s  _ I love you  _ to the moon and back, buddy.” 

“I love you more than all the stars in the sky!” 

“That’s a lot.” 

“I know.” 

Steve smiled, feeling his heart finally rest to a normal beat. “I’m gonna let you go back to bed now, sweetheart. Sorry for waking you up.” 

“I love you. See you soon?” 

“See you soon, bud,” Steve confirmed, waiting for him to hang up before taking the phone away from his ear. 

“You feeling better now?” Tony whispered softly and Steve’s eyes snapped open. He had forgotten that he had an audience for that…

“Yeah, I’m okay. Sorry to wake you up.” 

“No, please don’t apologize. I’m sorry I couldn’t wake you sooner,” Tony said, sounding upset. 

“It’s okay. It was just a dream.” 

“A pretty scary one...something happen to Peter?”

Steve took a steadying breath before nodding his head. He was staring down at his lap. He tried not to let the memories of the dream resurface. 

“You two are close.” 

It was a statement rather than a question, but Steve answered anyway. “We only have each other.” 

He felt Tony grab his hand and give it a squeeze. Steve looked up and Tony was smiling at him. “You only  _ had  _ each other. You’re not alone anymore.” 

Steve knew Nat was there for them and now so was Tony, but he still felt alone with Peter when they weren't the ones going through hell. Still, he smiled for Tony. 

“What do you say we get dressed and then we go pick up Peter? I’ve got something fun in mind for us to do together.” 

The smile became much more genuine. “Yeah. I’d love that.” 

Tony patted his leg before getting off the bed. “Let’s go then. I’ve got something you and Peter will love.” 

* * *

When Steve and Tony got back to Natasha’s, Peter was up and eating a bowl of cereal. Nat was sitting next to him, looking much grumpier. When Peter heard him come in, he came running over, calling his name. “Papa!”

Steve crouched down to catch Peter under his arms and lift him into the air. “Hey, Petey.” 

“I missed you!” 

“And I missed you.” Steve pressed a long kiss to his cheek and Peter giggled. 

When he pulled away, Peter studied his face. “You happy again?” 

“Now that you’re in my arms, I am.” 

Peter hummed happily and leaned his head on his shoulder. Steve looked over to Nat and frowned apologetically. “I’m sorry for waking him up,” he whispered. 

Nat stood up from the couch and gave him a tired smile. “Don’t apologize. I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Tony and I are gonna take the little rascal out of your hands for the day, so you’re free to get your beauty rest back.” It was Monday and he should be getting ready for school, but Peter never got a day off to relax. Miss Hill would understand him missing one day. 

“Want me to get him dressed and ready?”

“No,” Steve said, quickly. “I’ll do it.” 

Natasha raised her hands, taking a step back. “You got it, boss. Tony and I will be watching the National Geographic channel until you’re done.” 

“National Geographic?” Tony asked, interest piqued as he looked at the television. 

“Yeah,” Natasha said, “Some kids like Paw Patrol, Peter likes documentaries on sea turtles.” 

Tony took a seat on the couch and was fixated on the television. Steve smiled at the sight. Then Tony looked up to him and shooed him away. “Go get ready for the surprise. We don’t have all day.” 

Steve smiled and carried Peter towards the bedroom to get him changed. Peter pressed a kiss to his cheek before laying his head on his shoulder. “Love you, papa bear.” 

“Love you more, baby bear.”

* * *

Tony’s surprise turned out to be a familiar one. Central Park. 

This time it would be different. They weren’t camping out. They were spending the day with Tony. He looked down to see Peter’s reaction and he seemed just as excited as that night they slept under the stars. 

“When am I coming to pick you up?” Happy asked, pulling up in front of the park. Steve looked out the window, finding it weird to see so many people there. He was used to no one being in sight. Steve and Peter never risked setting up camp in the park when people could notice them. 

“Not sure yet. We'll call you when we're ready,” Tony said, putting his sunglasses back on. Steve hated that he was so well known to the public. He always had to hide his identity unless he wanted to be bombarded by fans and sometimes, the people that weren't such big fans. He just wanted Tony to enjoy their day out as himself. 

Still, just a day with Tony was enough for Steve. He'd enjoy what he had. Who knew how many days like this he had. Tony wasn't forever. Steve refused to plan a future with a man that he'd been doing nothing but lying to. 

“Thank you for the ride,” Steve said leaning up towards Happy.

“At least someone thanks me,” Happy grumbled in his typical grumpy tone. Steve knew it was an act though. He had seemed annoyed when he first picked them up, but then he met Peter and Steve could see his heart melt the moment Peter introduced himself. 

“Thank you, Mr. Happy!” Peter shouted like everyone in the car wasn't only a few feet away from him. 

Steve watched as Happy’s lips quirked slightly in the rearview mirror. “Not a problem, Pete. You go have fun out there. Drive these two crazy.” 

“I will!” He said, kicking his feet against the chair. 

Even though it had been weeks since Peter was last in a car seat, Steve knew that meant it was time to get him out of that seat when he did that. He still couldn’t believe Happy showed up with a car seat already in the back, per Tony’s instructions. “Alright, bud, I'm going.” He unbuckled him from the seat and Peter didn't wait before he was jumping down and crawling out of the car. 

Tony was standing just next to the open door and Peter took that as an invitation to jump. “Catch me!” He shrieked before jumping at him. 

Tony turned around quickly and grabbed Peter under the arms before he could fall back to the sidewalk.

“Peter!” Steve said, his heart thumping hard in his chest. “You can't do that. You could have fallen.” 

“I was flying!” He said with one hand now gripped tightly in Tony’s shirt and the other waving around wildly. 

“You sure were, squirt.” The panic that had crossed Tony’s face when Peter first jumped was gone. 

Steve followed Peter out of the car to let Happy go. People were starting to honk obnoxiously at him and he was yelling back.  Peter thought his road rage was hilarious. “When we had a car Papa would always yell out his window too!” 

Steve’s heart skipped a beat and before Tony could say a word, he said, “Good thing I sold it, huh? Was nothing but trouble.” Tony stared at him and he lied, “There’s no need for a car in the city. We can walk everywhere with no problem.” 

“I love my cars too much to get rid of them,” Tony said as if he were guilty of something. 

Steve loved his car too... There wasn't a night where Steve didn't miss those tacks above their heads. Peter’s stars. He missed them like crazy, but as long as Peter could keep the stars alive somehow, they would be okay. They were still there in his eyes as he smiled and laughed and believed this was all just a game. And Steve would never let them extinguish. 

“Yeah…”

“Well, I've got plenty to spare. If you ever need a ride somewhere, just let me know. Happy would love to give you a ride wherever you need.” 

Steve had a feeling Happy wasn't around just to be a chauffeur and he didn't want to be either, but Steve smiled anyway. “Thank you.” 

Tony turned to look down at Peter and bounced him gently in his arms. “Now why do you say we go in and play?” 

Peter nodded his head so hard it had to hurt. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” 

Tony turned back to Steve and smiled. He extended his hand, palm up and Steve only waited a second before he was grabbing his hand and walking alongside him. 

They walked inside and while Tony and Peter marveled at the trees all around them, Steve’s favorite view was right next to him. Peter was happy and smiling and absolutely loving everything around him while Tony was holding him close and getting just as excited as Peter was. It was all a show for Peter because surely, Tony wasn't impressed by birds hopping on the ground. But Peter was, so Tony was too. 

Steve was conflicted with how to feel about Tony being so soft with Peter because Tony was great at it. He and Peter were great together and Tony was always able to make Peter smile. Steve loved that. That's why he was so head over heels for Tony. 

And nothing was more attractive than someone loving his son. But Steve hated that because he fell a little more for Tony every time he saw them together. Steve hated falling in love with a man that would run in the other direction if he knew. 

Tony deserved better than him. So did Peter, actually. Peter deserved a father like Tony that could love him, provide him with a home and food, and could spoil him silly. 

But Steve loved that boy too much to ever even think about letting Peter go. Even if it was better for him to be with someone that could provide, Steve was going to be selfish for this and this alone. Peter was his. 

Suddenly, in the middle of their comfortably quiet walk, Peter was letting out a loud shriek. Steve went to scold him for the way his voice probably pierced through Tony’s ears, but Tony was laughing. “What's got you so excited, kiddie?” 

“Puppy!” Peter exclaimed, pointing his finger over to a dog that was sitting next to a bench with its owner. He bounced in Tony’s arms, reaching for the dog. 

“You want to say hi to the puppy?” Tony asked, smiling at him. Peter nodded his head feverently. “Alright, alright. Here we go.” 

He placed Peter on his feet and let him run to the bench. Pete squealed and ran so fast his legs couldn't keep up with himself and he tripped over his own feet. 

Tony hurried to go pick him up, but Peter was already back on his feet within seconds. As he continued running to the dog, Steve and Tony followed. “He's a crazy kid.” 

“Too crazy for you?” Steve asked, only half-joking. 

“No such thing,” Tony winked at him before grabbing his hand again and dragging him towards the dog. 

Steve smiled, squeezing his hand gently. “Oh, good. Because you haven't even seen him on a sugar rush yet.” Steve’s smiled faltered at that thought. He hadn't seen Peter with a sugar rush in a while...not since his birthday a few months ago. They couldn't afford sugary treats anymore. 

“Actually, and I mean every word of this, I would love to see that kid on a sugar rush. I'll stock up my place with more sugar than Dylan’s Candy Bar and let him loose.” 

“He'll love that-- and you.” 

Tony turned to give him a wink. “One Rogers down, one more to go.” 

Steve felt his cheeks heat up in a blush. Tony didn't have to try hard to get Steve to fall in love with him. Steve was the one that had to try hard not to. 

Thankfully, they reached the bench where Peter was happily petting the dog before it got awkward between them. Peter looked up at them and smiled. “The man said I could pet his puppy!” 

The “puppy” was even bigger than Peter and Steve knew a lab that size wasn't a puppy. But to Peter, every dog was a puppy. “Good boy for asking.” Peter grinned even wider before turning back to give the dog his full attention. 

It took them a few minutes to get him to stop petting the dog and keep walking. And of course, he had to stop for every other dog he saw as he ran along the sidewalk. 

He didn't stop until a bigger dog barked and snapped his teeth at him and Peter yelped, running back into Steve’s legs. Steve laughed and lifted him up to his chest. “You're okay, buddy.” 

Once safe in Steve’s arms, he looked back down at the dog and waved with a happy smile. “Hi, puppy!” 

“You know he's gonna stop for every single dog we pass,” Steve said to Tony. He wasn't sure what he had planned, but if just walking was in his mind then Steve hoped he wouldn't mind the frequent breaks to talk to the dogs. 

“Good thing we're almost there then,” Tony said. “He's probably working up quite the appetite running around like that.” 

Steve couldn't be sure of Peter, but he barely felt an appetite anymore. His stomach knew it wasn't going to get much, if any, food, so it didn't bother wanting it. Unfortunately, his hunger was still there. 

“I hope his dog-breaks every 2 minutes aren't messing up our itinerary for the day,” Steve joked to avoid the conversation of hunger.

“Oh, don’t worry. I factored all of that in.” Tony waved his hand dismissively. 

Steve laughed and raised his eyebrows. “Really? You just knew that Pete was going to stop for all these dogs?”

“Yup.”

“Every single one?”

“Every single one.” Steve rolled his eyes with a smile and Tony poked him in his side. “What, you don’t believe me? Bitch, I’m Tony Stark.” 

“Bitch, I’m Peter Rogers.”

Steve and Tony both turned to stare at Peter with wide eyes. “Peter, baby, you know we don’t say bad words,” Steve said. 

“Oh, my God,” Tony said, half-horrified and half-amused, “I’m so sorry!” 

“What does it mean?” Peter asked, tilting his head. 

“That is…” Tony started and Steve rolled his eyes.  _ Good luck explaining this one, Stark.  _ “Bitch is another name for a girl puppy...but we don’t use that word, okay, Pete?”

Peter narrowed his eyes as he studied Tony’s face. Peter wasn’t easily fooled and Steve was waiting for him to call Tony out on his bullshit. But in the end, he just shrugged his shoulders. “Okay.” 

Tony’s shoulders sagged in relief. He looked nervously at Steve and mouthed an apology. Steve smiled at him and whispered. “He’s heard worse, don’t worry. He’s been in the car with me when traffic is bad.” 

Tony relaxed more and laughed. “That’s why I let Happy handle all of the driving. They give any idiot a license in this state.” 

“Why do you think Peter and I prefer to walk?”  _ Because we can’t afford our car. _

“If I wouldn’t be attacked by paparazzi every time they saw my face, I’d love to walk too,” Tony said with a sigh. “All this fame and fortune comes at a price.” 

Steve frowned. He’d fight hoards of paparazzi every single day if it meant having enough money to raise Peter. But Tony didn’t understand how much of a difference a dollar meant. For him, that was pocket change. Hell, a hundred dollar bill was pocket change to him. “At least the hat and glasses do something for you. No one has spotted you yet.” 

“Hopefully, it stays that way. New York is crawling with celebrities, it’s usually only the tourists that go crazy over someone famous.” Tony fixed his ball cap anyway as he looked around. 

“Yeah, but--.” Steve was interrupted by Peter practically throwing himself down to the sidewalk. “Peter!” He said, fixing his hold on him so he didn’t fall. 

“Papa, I wanna pet that puppy!” Peter made grabbing hands for a dog trotting their way. 

“Haven’t you pet enough of them already?” He asked, struggling to settle him against his hip when he did nothing but squirm. 

“No!” 

“Maybe that puppy is allergic to little boys.” 

“No!” Peter kicked his feet wildly. 

Laughing, Steve set him down again. “Okay, okay. But wait until he comes here. Hold Papa’s hand.” 

Peter did so without complaint because he really was a great kid. He got more excited as the dog came closer and when it was right next to them, Peter giggled and said to the owner, “Can I pet your puppy?”

The man smiled down at him, halting his jog. “Sure thing, kid.” 

Peter immediately began to pet the pug, making little cooing noises at him. Then he turned back to the owner and asked, “Is your puppy a boy or a bitch?”

Steve sputtered, immediately apologizing to the owner while he only laughed. “He’s a boy. His name is Frank.” 

“Hi, Frank,” Peter said, rubbing just behind his ear. 

“I am so sorry, Steve. I didn’t think he would pick up. I forget he’s right there sometimes,” Tony started apologizing again even though he was horribly trying to contain his laughter. 

“If he says that to every dog we pass, I’m killing you,” Steve warned with no heat behind his words. 

Tony smirked, taking a step closer now that Peter was distracted with Frank the pug. “How about I make it up with a kiss?” 

Steve felt his cheeks burn at those words. “Deal.”

“Good,” Tony said before leaning forward and kissing his lip softly. Steve still wasn’t used to this: someone wanting to kiss him, especially someone like Tony Stark. It always made him smile and forget just for a moment that his life was going downhill fast. 

He might not have a car or a house or any financial stability. But he had Peter and he had Tony. And that was enough. 

* * *

Walking through Central Park with Peter turned into an all-day affair. He had to stop for every dog, he loved chasing the pigeons, he wanted to ride the carousel and spent too long picking the perfect horse, and then spent some time at the playground while Tony and Steve watched him run. 

After Peter was done playing, he ran back to Steve, asking to be picked up. Tony used that moment to bring them to the surprise he brought them here for. 

As it turned out, Tony had a picnic all set up for them in the park. He found a quiet place where they could relax and not worry about other people. “Remember the first date the three of us had? At the cafe we had a picnic...thought we’d have one for real this time.” 

Steve hated how Tony was just getting him to fall in love deeper and deeper with each thing he did. “Tony, that’s really sweet.”

“I want it to be perfect for the two of you.”

Tony really did have the perfect picnic prepared. He had a basket full of food with sandwiches and juice boxes and bags of chips. Peter’s eyes widened as he looked at all the sandwiches inside. 

“Woah!” He said, pulling out a sandwich. “There’s so much food in here! You could feed a million people!”

“Maybe not that many, but close to it,” Tony chuckled. 

“We could bring the food we don’t eat to our friends!” Peter said with a big smile. 

“Your friends?”

_ Sam. Dum Dum. Every veteran in that shelter.  _ “He means the people we meet when we hand out the sandwiches with the church,” Steve said quickly. 

Tony turned to look at him. “Can’t believe I forgot you two volunteer with your church like that. That’s really attractive…”

Steve smiled, feeling the slight panic of Peter giving them away disappear. “Yeah?”

“Oh, yeah,” Tony whispered as he leaned forward for another kiss. 

Before their lips even touched, Peter made a sound of disgust. “Blech! I'm trying to eat here!” 

Steve laughed into the kiss and pulled back. “Then turn around and don't watch us, squirt.” 

"There's just so much!" Peter exclaimed, reaching for the bowl of grapes. Then he turned back to Steve. "Eat some too! Your belly needs some too!"

"Okay. Okay. I'll eat," Steve promised, glad that for once he was actually going to be able to. 

"You're too busy kissing and being gross." 

"I'm sorry, Petey. He is just so kissable," Tony said, leaning away from Steve to start making his own plate. 

Peter just made a disgusted face and went back to his food. 

Steve turned to Tony and laughed. "I'm sorry about him."

"Don't apologize for him," Tony said immediately. "Don't ever feel like you have to apologize for him. Especially to me. You did a dam-- _ darn  _ good job at raising him. There's absolutely nothing to apologize for."

_ I love you.  _ Steve wanted to say it. He wanted to scream it. He wanted everyone to know he was absolutely and positively madly in love with this man. 

"You're too good for me," Steve said instead. 

"And I think the same for you, tesoro." 

If only he knew. If only Tony knew what Steve really was...then he’d change that last statement. He would never think a man like Steve was too good for him. Tony was literally too perfect for him, even if Steve wasn’t completely broke. Tony Stark was on another level in society than the rest of the world. He was part of that 1%. 

He wanted to lean forward and kiss Tony again, but instead, he pulled back and looked down at the food. Thinking about how much better Tony deserved was a sure way to kill the mood. “Thank you for packing us lunch. How did you get all of this set up?”

“Rhodey,” he answered simply. Tony was like Steve in the way that he didn’t get close to too many people. He had only three that he talked about to Steve. Happy: his driver and bodyguard, Pepper: the CEO of the company and apparently the one that got shit done, and Rhodey: his best friend. Rhodey was the only one Steve was afraid of. He was probably Tony’s protector the same way that Steve was Peter’s. If he didn’t like Steve, then he was screwed. 

But maybe it was a good sign that Rhodey came and set up a picnic for them. “That was sweet of him.” 

“He’s a real sweetheart. I knew that Pepper wasn’t going to be out here doing it. Something about a company to run.” He waved his hand as if that were no big deal. “You’ll meet both of them soon.” 

Steve swallowed.  _ Great.  _ He started picking at the food in front of him, constantly keeping his eyes on Peter’s plate. Even though he knew he was getting more than enough, Steve still worried about him. 

“You know,” Tony said a few minutes later. “The picnic would have been a better idea during the summertime. I didn’t really think this one through.”

Just as he said that, Steve felt a chill go through his body. Even with his layers, he still found himself shivering. He looked over to Peter, but he seemed to be content with his layers upon layers. Steve bundled him up good. 

“If you’re too cold, we can forget about the other thing I had planned.”

“What other thing do you have planned?” Steve asked. He was cold, but he’d spent longer amount of time in the cold with much less layers keeping him warm. 

“You know those little rowboats out in the lake?”

“You mean the ones that don’t go out in the winter,” Steve said, staring at him strangely.

“Yes, well, for other people maybe. But, as it turns out, a lot of money can get you pretty much anything. So I got a boat for an hour to row around.” Tony smiled at him and Peter got excited at the news. 

While Tony began to answer Peter’s endless questions, Steve tried to let himself feel the same excitement. He couldn’t help but feel a little bitter at how much money Tony had and how carelessly he spent it. Sure, for him, renting out the lake in Central Park was nothing, but to people like Steve...they couldn’t even imagine having that much money. 

_ It’s not Tony’s fault.  _ Steve reminded himself. He was just raised differently.

“Can we go now?” Peter asked, bouncing up and down as he kneeled in front of Steve. 

Steve looked over to Tony for confirmation and he nodded his head. Then he turned to Peter and said, “I want you to finish the food on your plate and then we’ll go.”

“But, Papa!” Peter started to argue before Steve silenced him by shaking his head. 

“No buts. Is your belly stuffed?” Steve waited for Peter to shake his head before continuing, “Then finish up your food and then we’ll get going.” Steve knew that food was never promised, so when they had the chance to eat it, Steve made sure Peter’s belly was full. Peter never argued with Steve (at least in the moments he wasn’t throwing a tantrum) so he turned back to his food and scarfed it down before turning back to Steve and Tony. “All done!” 

Tony grinned as he ruffled Peter’s hair affectionately. “Good job, squirt. You ready to go?”

Peter was on his feet in a second, one hand grabbing Tony’s and the other grabbing Steve’s. “Come on!” Peter shouted, tugging on their hands as hard as he could. 

Tony pushed himself up dramatically. “When did you get so strong, squirt? Maybe we should have you row the boat for us.”

Steve shook his head as he took his time pushing himself up off the ground. It wasn’t quick enough for his little shit of a son and he kept yanking on his wrist until he was standing up and ready to walk. “You better watch it or I’m pushing you off the boat.”

“You wouldn’t!”

“Wanna test it?”

Peter just giggled as he ran ahead, still holding Tony’s hand. Steve watched them with a smile and for a moment, he didn’t care about how much money Tony had to throw around as long as it always made Peter this happy. 

* * *

“Peter, I swear to God-- if you fall in and I have to jump in after you, I will not be happy,” Steve exclaimed after the umpteenth time catching Peter going just a little too close to the edge. 

Tony grabbed the end of Peter’s coat and tugged him closer to him. “Your pops is right, kiddo. The water is not warm enough for a swim.”

Steve was the one rowing the paddles through the icy water, but he didn’t mind. It was a slight struggled, but he was used to the strain. Again, carrying a 4-year-old everywhere did wonders. While he was rowing, Tony was on Peter duty. 

“Come here, munchkin,” Tony said, lifting him up to sit on his lap. Very slowly and very carefully. 

“I wanna see the fishes!” He yelled in excitement, struggling slightly in Tony’s hold. 

“The fish are all hiding because you’re scaring them.” Tony fixed his hold on Peter so he stopped rocking the boat so much. 

“Are they cold? What happens when the water is all ice?” Peter’s question was directed to Steve because his little 4-year-old mind told him that his pops knew the answer to everything. And of course, Steve always did. Or at least, Peter thought he did. 

(“Papa, why does it thunder?”  _ “The angels are bowling.” _

“Papa, how can birds fly?”  _ “Their feathers are magic.” _

“Papa, why are your eyes blue?”  _ “God painted them that way.” _

“Papa, why do stars shine so bright?”  _ “They want to make sure you can see them.”) _

“The fish will hide under the sand like a blanket and they swim real close to keep warm.” 

Peter turned in Tony’s arms and looked up at him. “Is he right?”

Tony hesitated and Steve prayed that he would go along with it. Tony nodded his head finally. “Of course he is, kid. Your pops is always right.” 

Peter grinned, happy with his answer and leaned back against Tony’s chest. Tony looked alarmed at first as Peter’s head rested on him and for a moment, Steve was afraid he was going to push Peter away. But only after a brief moment of fear, Tony calmed down and wrapped an arm around Peter. 

He caught Steve’s eyes staring, but he only smiled. “Whatcha looking at?”

“The most handsome man in the world.” 

“Really? Because I don’t think I’ve got a mirror over my face.”

“Why are you both so gross?” Peter asked, squirming in Tony’s arms until he tightened his hold on him. 

“You’re very handsome too, Petey,” Steve told him with a cheeky smile. 

Peter huffed and said, “I know that. But I wanna know why you guys are gross.” 

Steve raised his eyebrows at that as Tony laughed. “Oh, you know, huh?”

“You tell me all the time, Papa.” 

“Why can’t I tell Tony all the time too? You’re  _ both _ my handsome boys.” Steve wished he wasn’t rowing the boat or else he would lean forward and pinch Peter’s cheek until he swatted his hand away. 

“Is that okay?” Tony asked Peter. “Can we share your Papa?”

“I don’t like to,” Peter answered honestly. “But I like you...so we can share. Just a little.” 

Tony seemed happy with that answer. “Thank you very much, squirt. You know what else we can do?”

“Hm?”

“Sit back and relax while Pops takes us around the lake.” Tony winked at Steve before leaning back slightly, keeping one arm securely wrapped around Peter. 

“Sounds good!” Peter stuck a thumbs-up in the air. “Row, Papa, row!”

“Yes, your highness.” 

* * *

“They rest at the bottom of the water,” Tony whispered as they walked hand in hand down a path in the park after their boat ride. Steve kept an eye on Peter as he skipped just ahead of them.

“Huh?”

“The fish,” Tony clarified. “They rest at the bottom of the water when it gets cold. And the ice doesn’t freeze all the way through, so they’re okay.” 

“Are you a fish expert?” Steve asked, amused that Tony had remembered the question and wanted to tell him the right answer. 

“Not really on fish…” He shrugged his shoulders as he trailed off. 

“No, come on. Tell me,” Steve said, nudging Tony’s shoulder with his. 

Tony sighed before explaining, “I’m just not used to dating when the person doesn’t know everything about me already.”

Steve squeezed his hand and said softly, “Then tell me. That’s the fun part about dating; we get to learn about each other.”

When Tony answered, he was staring down at the ground. “I just know stuff. A lot of stuff.”

“What, like a supergenius?” Steve asked, teasing. 

But when Tony looked up at him, he saw that he wasn’t joking around. “My IQ says so. Apparently over 160 is really impressive and almost double that is unheard of.”

Steve’s eyes widened. Not only was he super rich, but he was super smart. “I’ve probably sounded like an idiot this entire time then.” 

Tony shook his head immediately. “No. You’re not an idiot at all. Besides, I think it’s cute how you answer Peter’s questions.” He turned to stand in front of him, leaning in close. 

“If you thought that was cute, you should have heard me make up constellations in the sky for him,” Steve murmured, his eyes staring down at Tony’s lips. 

“Oh, yeah? What’d you see? Orion? Ursa Major?” Tony leaned up on his tippy toes until their lips were brushing against each other’s. 

“Lots of Elliots,” Steve said before Tony cut him off by pressing their lips together. Steve smiled, wrapping an arm around his waist to pull him in closer. He wanted to keep him right there, but there were in the middle of a public park and Steve wasn’t overly comfortable with PDA. He pulled back, keeping the blissful smile on his face. “What do you say we go back to your place and finish this?”

“You think Peter would mind staying with Happy when we finished up in the bedroom?” Tony whispered. 

Steve grinned at the thought of what he’d wanted to do since he fell asleep on him last night: just spend hours in each other’s arms and kiss. “Why don’t we ask him?” He spoke a little louder so Peter could hear him. “Pete, you ready to head back?” He didn’t answer, so Steve turned around from Tony to see what had him distracted now “Pete--.” 

The rest of his sentence stopped in his throat. His eyes widened as he did a quick 360, his eyes darting everywhere. They landed on Tony and he could hear his heart pounding in his ears. “Tony, where’s Peter?”

Tony turned around, looking himself. “He was just right there…” 

“I know he was!” Steve snapped in a panic. 

He had been right there! He’d been playing his own game of hopscotch as they walked. 

But now he was gone. 

 

His day was ending just as it had started: with a nightmare. Except, unlike this morning, this nightmare was very real. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry
> 
> :)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of your reviews on my last chapter...don't wanna keep you waiting much longer, so here we go.

Steve wanted to freak out. He wanted to scream and cry, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t waste his time with that until Peter was safe in his arms again. 

Tony was saying something to him, but he couldn’t hear a word over the pounding of his heart. His eyes were looking for anyone suspicious-looking around them. He could have only been taken within the last two minutes. But he was small. Peter was so small, he could easily be hidden. 

His eyes latched to a man walking just a few feet away. He was holding a large bag, a larger bag than anyone needed just to walk through the park. Steve immediately started to storm his way over.

Tony grabbed his wrist and refused to let him go anywhere. “Calm down, Steve.” He squeezed so hard on his wrist that Steve was sure he was cutting off the circulation. 

“I need to get Peter,” Steve snarled, watching the man get further away. 

Tony followed his gaze. “Steve, no. You’re not going to attack that poor guy. He’s not hiding your son in his bag. People carry bags in the city. He’s just a bag person.” 

“Peter can fit,” Steve said, not taking his eyes off the bag. He didn’t care how ridiculous he sounded. 

“If someone took him, there would have been a struggle. We would have heard him yell or make noise,” Tony said. Steve nodded his head because he was right...Peter would scream and yell the minute he didn’t feel safe. “He’s a kid. He probably just wandered off.” 

“Peter knows not to go off without me. He  _ knows.” _ Steve knew ever since the night Peter was grabbed that he wasn’t careless about being around strangers. 

“Look, there’s a jungle gym right down the path. Maybe he saw it and wanted to go play,” Tony suggested, moving his hand from Stee’s wrist to hold his hand. 

Steve still wanted to go interrogate the man with the bag before they just let him go, but something told him that Peter wasn’t with him. Tony was right. He would have heard him yell. Unless someone was able to bait him away from Steve and Tony. Would Peter fall for it though? Even the sight of a stranger giving Peter attention had him always running right back to Steve’s legs. 

“Stop overthinking this. He’s only been gone for 5 minutes at most. We’re going to get him back.” Tony’s voice was soft as he spoke to Steve, but it didn’t help to keep his nerves calm. “He’s probably playing around.” 

He wasn’t. Hiding wasn’t playing to Peter. Being away from Steve and scaring him wasn’t playing. 

Steve kept his eyes open for everything around him to see Peter in his bright red jacket. He listened for his giggles. Anything Peter. There was nothing. 

Even when they got to the playground, they saw plenty of other kids running around, but none were Peter. By the time they left there without finding him, Steve didn’t think he was going to stay calm much longer. 

He stormed ahead of Tony, back to where they were. “Peter!” He called, his eyes darting everywhere. “Peter Rogers!” 

There was a man blowing huge bubbles to a crowd of children. Steve’s eyes scanned every kid standing around and watching. Peter wasn’t one of them. 

“I’ll go ask a police officer if they’ve seen him around. Sometimes kids go to them when they feel unsafe and can’t find their parents.” 

“No!” Steve shouted. “I don’t want them knowing I lost my son.” That was the easiest way for CPS to find out he was a horrible father. 

“It’s normal, Steve. Kids wander off all the time. They’ll be able to help us.” 

Steve shook his head. “Just let me find him. Hold on.” He heard a sound that wasn’t Peter, but a sound that Peter could be near. A dog barking. “The dog. Tony, the dog!” He yelled, yanking on Tony to follow him as he ran to follow the sound. 

They ran down another path, over a patch of plants to a secluded but open area. Steve saw the dog running around wildly...being chased by a familiar red coat. The dog ran into him and tackled him to the ground, eliciting giggles from the boy. And those giggles were Peter’s. He knew it. 

He let go of Tony’s hand to rush forward to where Peter was laying on the ground getting licked by the dog. Peter was giggling hysterically, but he wouldn’t be for long. Not when he realized how much danger he put himself in by just walking off. 

The owner of the dog noticed Steve rushing forward and he hurried forward as well. “My dog is very sweet, sir. They’re just playing.” 

Steve ignored him as he got to Peter, leaned down and lifted him up off the grass under the arms. Peter didn’t sense his anger at first and he smiled at Steve. “Papa, look how cute that puppy is! He’s my new friend. We were playing tag!” 

“Peter, what were you thinking?” He asked, his voice harsher than he wanted it to come out. Peter didn’t answer him as he studied his face, trying to figure out why Steve was yelling at him. Steve never raised his voice. “Peter Rogers, answer me!” He shook him slightly and Peter grabbed onto Steve’s wrists quickly as if he were afraid he was going to fall. 

“Papa, I was just playing,” he said, his voice wavering. 

“You  _ know  _ you’re not allowed to just walk off without telling me,” he said, ignoring that Peter was squirming uncomfortably in his hold. Whether he didn’t like being held up in the air like that or Steve’s grip was too tight, Steve didn’t know...but he also didn’t care. Not in that moment. 

“I’m sorry, Papa!” Peter said, his eyes watering. Steve hated that the sight of his son crying didn’t calm his anger...or his fear. If something had gone wrong, if someone had grabbed Peter, him crying wouldn’t have brought him back. 

Thankfully for Peter, Tony was there and he was calm. He put a hand on Steve’s shoulder and whispered. “He’s okay, Steve. Come on, put him down. You can talk to him in the car.” 

Steve stared at Peter’s watery brown eyes, staring at him widely. He made it so hard to be angry at and Steve didn’t want to be, but he was. Because he had to be smart. He couldn’t let himself get hurt or worse…

“He’s okay,” Tony continued. “You got him back safe and sound. That’s what you wanted, right?”

Steve nodded his head. That’s all he  _ ever  _ wanted: Peter safe. He pulled him close, more of an embrace than a hug. Peter clung onto him like it was anyway. “Can we go now? I’m sorry if you had other plans. I just can’t--.” 

“Don’t apologize,” Tony said quickly. “I don’t have anything else. We can call it a day and raincheck those other plans we were discussing.” 

Steve nodded his head as thanks. He couldn’t even think about laying around and kissing Tony. All he could think about was how close he came to losing Peter. 

 

Happy was waiting for them outside the park and Tony ran ahead to open the back door for Steve. Not because he was trying to be a gentleman, but because Steve still wasn’t taking a hand off of Peter even for a second. 

“Do you want to buckle him in his seat?” Tony asked hesitantly when Steve sat there rigidly. He shook his head. Tony hesitated. “Okay...Happy, drive slower than usual. Pete’s not in his car seat.” 

_ Just another reason you’re a horrible father, _ Steve thought.  _ You can’t keep an eye on your son, you yell at him, and you can’t let go of him long enough to put him safe in the car seat.  _

The ride back was silent except for an occasional sniffle from Peter. 

When they pulled up in front of Natasha’s apartment building, Tony asked, “Do you want me to go up with you? Just to make sure you get to your apartment?” 

Steve shook his head. “I’m okay.” 

“Okay...just text me when you get in, okay?” He studied Steve’s face for a few seconds. “You’re kinda scaring me.”

Steve held Pete even closer and he snapped defensively, “I’m not going to hurt him.” 

“I didn’t think you would,” Tony said, furrowing his brow. “You’re just shaken up.” 

“We’ll be okay,” Steve said, opening the door to leave. 

“Call me please,” Tony said before he could step out. “Go inside, hold him, calm down, and then call me.”

Steve nodded his head. “Thank you for today. I’m sorry, again.” 

“No apologies. I’ll see you later.” Tony smiled at him and blew him a kiss. 

Steve couldn’t help but smile slightly at that. But when he stepped back outside, he was on alert again. He needed to get Peter into the apartment. They weren’t safe out here. 

Happy didn’t drive away until Steve stepped inside the building. He watched them go, wishing he could have invited Tony up to sit with him while he was still a little rattled. At least he had Natasha when he got up there though. 

Peter was still holding on tightly to Steve’s jacket and he continued to sniffle. “I’m sorry, Papa,” he whispered, but Steve didn’t answer him. 

He got to the front door and didn’t even stop to knock to let Natasha know they were coming in before he opened the door and hurried inside. He slammed the door shut behind them and locked the doorknob along with the deadbolt. 

Hearing the commotion, Natasha came into the room. “Hello, Steve...someone chasing you?” She asked that too calmly to actually believe it. 

“I need to put him down without worrying,” he said, not going to lower Peter to the ground yet anyway. 

Natasha was starting to get concerned. “You can put him down, Steve. You know he’s safe here. You both are.” 

Steve hesitated before lowering him to the ground carefully. He was battling himself on whether to be angry or scared or relieved. He just didn’t know--.

“Steve, what’s wrong? What happened? I thought you guys were staying out longer.” Her eyes looked down to Peter, who was sucking on his thumb anxiously with watery eyes. She fell to her knees in front of him and reached out to comfort him. “Peter, are you okay?” She looked up at Steve with wide eyes. “Is he hurt? Steve, what’s going on?”

Steve turned to face Peter as he started to take his layers off. “You want to tell her, Peter?”

He looked from Steve to Natasha with his big eyes and Steve looked away from him. He hated how he was acting, but Peter had to know that this wasn’t  _ okay.  _ “I just wanted to see the puppy!” 

“What?” Natasha asked, probably even more confused. 

Steve threw his gloves to the table by the couch and said, “He ran away without telling me or Tony where he was going!”

Steve’s yelling had Peter getting upset again. “I’m sorry, Papa!” 

Natasha stayed where she was, rubbing Peter’s arms soothingly. “It’s okay, Pete. He’s not angry. He’s just scared.” 

“Of course, I’m angry,” Steve huffed, causing Natasha to glare at him. “He knows not to just walk off without telling me where he’s going. He knows that it’s too dangerous and anyone can just grab him off the street!” He was speaking to Natasha but looking right at Peter. 

“I forgot,” Peter said, wiping his nose with his gloved hand. “I saw the puppy and wanted to play.”

_ “You forgot?” _ Steve repeated incredulously. “You forgot that there are people in this world that will pick you up and take you and keep you from ever seeing me again?” 

Peter grabbed onto Natasha’s arms as he cried, “I don’t want to be taken!”

Natasha pulled him in for a hug and hushed him gently. “No one is going to take you, Peter. No one.” She stood up with Peter in her arms and glared at Steve. “I’m taking him into your room to lay down and I will be right back.” 

“He can’t think it’s okay to just run off!” Steve said.  _ It took two seconds for Peter to get out of his sight and for someone to grab him. Too easy.  _

“He doesn’t think that, Steve. He knows it’s dangerous or did _you_ forget about the scab on his cheek? He knows not to run off, but I really don’t think punishing a four-year-old for playing with a dog is the way to go about this.”

“I’m not punishing him! I just want him to understand!” 

“You can talk to him after you’ve calmed down. And  _ only _ when you’ve calmed down.” She shook her head before turning around and carrying Peter down the hall. Peter was crying still as she hushed him, but Steve would rather have him here crying than crying somewhere else because he ran off and got kidnapped. 

When they were gone, Steve pulled his phone out and typed out a text to Tony just to let him know they were okay. Steve felt horrible for leaving him like that. Tony texted back right away telling him not to worry about apologizing again (because of course, Steve did) and told him to calm down and call back when he could. No rush. 

Talking to Tony calmed him down slightly, but not all the way. And Natasha came back out a few moments later, fuming. “What the  _ hell _ was that?”

“What was what?” Steve asked. 

“Tell me what happened  _ without _ yelling,” Natasha said, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“We were at Central Park and I was talking to Tony one second and then the next second, I turned around and Peter was gone. I thought someone grabbed him.” Steve felt himself getting anxious again at just the memory of what happened. 

“But no one did,” she said, none of her anger dissipating. 

“I found him playing with a dog. A few feet away from me. He knows he isn’t supposed to go far.” Steve huffed as he took a seat on the couch. 

“So, let me get this straight,” Natasha said. “You’re angry at a four-year-old for playing with a puppy.”

“No--.”

“Yes,” Natasha cut him off. “You’re angry. He’s four. He ran off to play with a dog. What’s not right out of those statements?”

Steve hair his hands through his hair. “You don’t get it. We have to be careful and he knows that. He’s been snatched before--.”

“Which I’m sure he remembers,” Natasha said. “He remembers very well just by the way he can never be farther than two feet from you. You don’t have to remind him or think that every person is like the man that tried grabbing Peter.” 

“He was gone!” Steve shouted. “He was there one second and then I had to start flirting with Tony and I kissed him and, and then Peter disappeared.” He looked at her as he jabbed his pointer finger against his chest. “That’s  _ my  _ fault.”

“Sounds like you’re angry at Steve but taking it out on Peter,” Natasha’s voice softened as she took a seat next to Steve on the couch. 

“I should have been watching him.”

“And something tells me that for every single second besides the kiss, you never took an eye off of him.” Natasha rubbed his back the same way she had been comforting Peter earlier. 

“Exactly. It took one second for him to disappear.” 

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” Natasha sighed. “You and him had a good day. A normal day. Kissing Tony, spending some time with him...that’s not bad. You’re allowed to take your eyes off of Peter occasionally to have some time to yourself. And Peter is allowed to be a four-year-old. He’s allowed to forget all about being scared and worried something is going to happen.”

“I know he should be allowed to.” Steve wished he could forget about it all together all the time. He wanted Peter to have a happy, normal childhood.

“So, then let yourselves relax and have fun. Today sounded like you both were just having a good day. You were with Tony, not worrying about food or shelter for once and Peter was with his pops and his pops’ super rich boyfriend. He probably just got caught up in it and so did you. There is nothing wrong with that.” 

“I just feel like I shouldn't be relaxing or going out on dates when my life is this much of a shit show,” Steve admitted. 

Natasha raised her eyebrows. “Steve, your normal day consists of waking up and getting Peter ready for school, taking him to school, working at the cafe, picking Peter up from school, feeding Peter dinner, putting him to bed, working at a strip club, coming home to get like 3 hours of sleep before doing it all again. Don’t you think you deserve a few days of rest?”

“I don’t know…”

“You’re working. You’re providing for Peter. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Please.”   
“You should be telling me not to be so hard on Peter. I ruined his day at the park and got angry just because he wanted to play with a dog. Some father I am. Got my dad’s Irish temper.”

“Stop comparing yourself to your dad. You’re nothing like him.” 

Steve shut his eyes and all he saw was his dad in his face, yelling, and shaking him by the shoulders. Exactly what he’d done to Peter. “He’s probably terrified of me.” 

“Go in there and talk to him. He was pretty upset.” 

“Because of me.” 

“Exactly why you’re the one that needs to go in and see if he’s okay.”

Steve nodded his head and stood up slowly. “If you hear screaming and crying just know that it’s me begging him to forgive me.” 

“You know he adores you, Steve. You won’t have to beg. Just explain to him. He’ll understand.” She gave him an encouraging smile. 

Steve took in a deep breath and walked down the hall to the room he and Peter were sharing. He stopped just in front of their door and knocked before opening the door slowly. “Hey, Pete, it’s me…”

He expected to see him tucked into bed where Natasha said she left him, but he wasn’t there. For the second time that day, his heart began to panic as he wondered where the hell Peter was. But this time, the panic subsided just as soon as it came. Because the room wasn’t that big and there was Peter, on the floor sitting in the corner with his back facing Steve.  

He walked up behind him and asked him hesitantly, “What’re you doing, bud?”  _ Why aren’t you in bed? Why haven’t you even taken off your coat yet? Why are you sitting on the floor, staring at a wall? _

“I’m in timeout.”

“What?” Natasha wouldn’t have put him in timeout. Even if she were upset with him, that’s just something she would never do. But if Natasha didn’t and Steve didn’t…

“I was bad, so now I’m in timeout.” 

_ He put himself there.  _

“Peter, you weren’t bad.” 

Peter nodded his head, sniffling. “I’m a bad boy. I made you a-angry and scared.” 

Steve couldn’t let Peter continue to beat himself up like this. He was a baby. There was no reason for him to be punishing himself. Just another reason for Steve to feel like a failure. He leaned over and lifted Peter up underneath his arms. “Come here, baby.” He walked them over to the bed and sat down, twisting Peter in his hold so he was facing him. 

“I’m sorry, Papa,” he said immediately. 

“I know you are, but stop. I should apologize. There was no reason for me to get as angry as I did at you.” 

Peter lifted his thumb to his mouth but stopped short of sticking it in his mouth when he realized he was still wearing the gloves. “I scare you,” he mumbled. 

“Yes, but that doesn’t give me a right to yell at you. You were just playing. You’re just a kid, you’re allowed to play.” He used one hand to wrap around Peter and the other to pull his gloves off of his hands, followed by his hat. “But next time, I want you to tell me before you walk away. That part isn’t up for debate.”

Peter’s finger immediately went into his mouth. “I just got so ‘cited. I’m sorry, Papa. I was having fun an’ forgot.” 

“Yeah, bear, so did I…” He shook his head, still unable to believe he had been so careless to get caught up in kissing Tony to watch over his own child. “We both messed up today, so what do you say, we learn from the mistake and move on?”

Peter stopped sucking so furiously on his thumb. “I’m not in trouble?”

“As long as you don’t do it again,” Steve said, his voice firm. He couldn’t punish him this time, but he could make sure he wouldn’t even want to think of doing it again. 

Peter pulled his finger out of his mouth and used the same hand to extend his pinky to Steve. “I won’t. Promise.” 

Steve linked his pinky wth Peter’s and shook it. “Good boy.” Peter grinned at the praise and when he pulled his hand away, he didn’t stick it back in his mouth anxiously. “You know, I think we’ve both had a long day. What do you say we get out of our play clothes, into something comfortable and take a nap?”

“Really?” Peter asked, his eyes brightening. 

“Yeah, bud.” Steve let him go and Peter started to pull at his coat. Steve chuckled and helped him take it off when he couldn’t. Peter was usually okay with changing, but now he was too excited to control his body perfectly. After the third time of watching him struggle to pull his arm out of his sweatshirt sleeve, Steve took over. Peter didn’t even argue that he could do it himself like he usually did (I’m not a baby, Papa!”). 

Once he had Peter out of the clothes and in a pair of pajama pants and t-shirt, Steve pulled off his own winter wear and changed into sweats. Natasha’s apartment was always kept at a perfect temperature, even on the warmer side, but that didn’t stop Steve from cradling Peter close to his chest as they snuggled under the blankets. 

Sometimes he still struggled to get rid of the chill that he’d gotten from spending too much on the street. He wondered if Peter still felt faint shivers. He hoped not. 

“Are you warm, Peter?” He asked, just in case. 

Peter pressed his head against Steve’s chest and answered in a sleepy voice, “Warm and safe, Papa.” 

Steve kissed the top of his curls, mussed up from wearing his hat all day, and smiled. Maybe he hadn’t always been able to keep him safe and warm and maybe he wouldn’t be able to in the future, but right now he was and that was enough to let Steve fall asleep with a smile on his face. 

* * *

When Steve woke up, it was with a dry mouth and an elbow in his neck. He groaned, rubbing his eyes as he attempted to open them a few times. He kept them closed for a few extra seconds as he adjusted Peter’s position next to him. He was sleeping like a starfish with his limbs everywhere.

When he moved Peter, his little hand shot out to grab onto the first thing it made contact with. Which, unfortunately for Steve, was his facial hair. Peter gripped it tight and tugged. Hard. Like he was pulling on Steve’s t-shirt. But it wasn’t his t-shirt, it was his hair attached to his face and dammit, that kid could  _ hurt.  _

He grabbed Peter’s fingers and pulled them away with a quick intake of breath. “Ouch, Pete.” Peter didn’t wake up at that and Steve was glad that he didn’t. Outside the window was pitch black and that meant that their nap had gone well into the night. If Steve woke him up now, he’d never get back to bed for school tomorrow. 

He laid him on the bed next to him and waited a few seconds to make sure he stayed asleep before getting out of bed. He wished he could have stayed with him all night long. But duty called. 

He snuck out of the room quietly, leaving the door ajar so if Peter woke up, he’d be able to go find Nat if he needed her. He hoped Natasha would be asleep when he stepped out into the kitchen, but she wasn’t. She was sitting at the table with a mug between her hands. “Oh, I was wondering when you were gonna wake up.”

“We took a nap…” He said lamely as if it weren’t obvious. 

“You have to work tonight?”

“Yeah.”

“Then I’m glad you slept. You need it.” She stood up from the table and pulled out her chair for him. “Sit.” 

“I’ve gotta get going--.” 

“You have time for something to eat,” Nat said, leaving no room for him to argue. I have some leftovers from dinner. I can heat them up in a few minutes.” 

“What about Peter? I can get him up to eat--.”

“Don’t even think about it. That boy is asleep and we’re going to make sure it stays that way.” She opened up the fridge and pulled out a small Tupperware bowl. Steve wasn’t sure what was inside, but his mouth watered at the idea of food. 

_ How could you eat when your son isn’t? _

“What about Peter? He needs to eat too.” 

Natasha continued to pour the food onto a plate and then stick it into the microwave. “He’ll be fine. He ate at the park, right? He’ll be up in a few hours to eat. He will be okay.” 

_ A few hours with no food. Peter needed food.  _

Steve stood up from the table so fast that the chair almost tipped over. “I’ll be right back. I can get him to eat and then he’ll go right back to bed.” 

Natasha paused what she was doing to spin around and face Steve. She hurried in front of him and put her hands on his shoulders. “Woah, Steve. He’s fine. I promise. He ate today. And he will eat tomorrow morning before school.” 

“It’s not enough. I promised him I wouldn’t let him go hungry.” Steve’s eyes were focused on the hallway that led to their room. 

“Hey, Steve, come on, look at me.” He could hear Natasha’s voice, but he didn’t want to listen to it. Not until he knew Peter was okay. “Steve...I’m sorry I got you upset. But you gotta listen to me. Peter’s okay.” 

“But he didn’t eat…”

“He’s little and his belly can only have so much. He’s full. He’s okay. Promise you.”

Steve looked back to her, seeing nothing but sympathy and a bit of sadness in her eyes. He suddenly felt so stupid for overreacting...but was he really?

“When he wakes up tomorrow, I’ll have breakfast already made before school and before we have to go to work. Do you like waffles and bacon?” 

Did he? He wasn’t sure what he liked anymore because it didn’t matter. “Peter does, yeah.” 

Natasha grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “I’m sure Peter does. That kid eats anything. But does  _ Steve  _ like it?”

“Uh, yeah, that sounds good.” He nodded his head, looking back to her, feeling his heart calming down. Peter was okay. He would be fed. “If he wakes up when I’m gone, can you make him something?”

“Of course,” Natasha said. “But I think he’s gonna sleep right through the night. He’ll just be up early tomorrow. Now sit and eat.” 

Steve sighed but sat down and waited for the plate of food to be put in front of him. He felt guilty about eating when Peter wasn’t, but he was okay. He was asleep, warm and safe in their bedroom. 

“Eat, Steven, or else I will spoon feed it to you. Do I have to treat you like a baby?” She raised her eyebrows.    
Steve clenched his jaw before turning to his food and eating. His stomach welcomed the substance. Anything to quench his constant hunger. 

“You’re calling Tony and you’re spending the weekend with him,” Natasha said a few minutes into Steve eating. 

The words caught him so off guard that he almost choked on the bite he was swallowing. He looked up at her incredulously. “I’m sorry,  _ what?”  _

Natasha sighed. “Steve, we can’t just pretend like this is healthy. I’m not even talking about the eating, even though  _ that _ deserves its own conversation. Your codependency with Peter is dangerous.” 

Steve rolled his eyes. Not this again. “It’s not dangerous, Nat. I mean, yeah, it isn’t normal, but  _ we’re _ not normal.”

“He didn’t sleep, Steve,” Natasha said. “I couldn’t get him to bed last night. He sat in that bed sobbing for hours.” 

Steve’s heart broke at the idea of Peter crying because he wasn’t there. All because Steve had to go out and think of himself first. “And you expect me to leave him for a full weekend? You want to listen to him cry again?” 

Natasha narrowed her eyes. “Don’t act like I’m doing this to hurt him, Steve. I’m trying to help him. And that means if I have to hear him cry for a few hours because you’re not there, then I’ll do it. Because he needs to be on his own. He’s four-years-old. You deserve to have a life of your own!” 

“He’s four. That’s still a baby and he’s been through a lot,” Steve said, suddenly feeling very defensive. How dare Natasha suggest this when she knew it would do nothing but upset Peter?

“I can’t imagine what he’s been through,” she said, shaking her head. “And I know he’s your baby, but he’s not  _ a _ baby, Steve. He’s old enough to be able to spend a few hours without you. Or at least fall asleep on his own.” 

“But he’ll cry…” Peter’s cried so much lately that Steve wanted to do whatever he could to stop it when he had that power. 

“Yes, he’ll cry. And he will continue to cry until we wean him off of it. Do you really want to be sharing a bed with him when he’s 16-years-old because he can’t sleep without his father?”

Steve didn’t want to think of his baby all grown up. “I mean, if he’s a teenager and still wants to be seen with his father, let alone cuddle him, I’ll take it.” 

“I’m being serious, Steve.” 

“And so am I! I don’t see what’s so wrong with him being a little clingy at this age. He’ll grow out of it.” Steve turned down to his dinner so he couldn’t see her disapproving look. 

_ “What’s so bad _ is that he won’t grow out of it. It’ll only get worse. You know it. This isn’t just a clingy kid. He literally can’t fall asleep without being in your arms. You need to give him space.”

_ “Space?” _

To her credit, Natasha wasn’t backing down. “Yes. That’s why I’m telling you to spend the weekend away.”

“And what are you going to do when he cries?”

“I’m going to comfort him if needed, but I’m going to let him cry. Just like you taught him to stop crying at night when he was a newborn, I bet. You let him cry himself to sleep and eventually, he learned to sleep on his own.” 

Steve hated that she was right. Peter cried all night long when they first taught him to sleep in his own crib. He always wanted to go right back in his room and pick him up so he stopped crying, but his wife was always the strong one and refused to let him go in there. In a few weeks, Peter went right down to bed when they laid him down. “I don’t want him to cry,” Steve said. “I’m tired of being the reason he’s crying.” 

Natasha’s voice softened. “Steve, you’re too hard on yourself…”

“No, but I’m right! He’s in this mess because of me. Because I couldn’t be a good father and then I’m too proud to even ask for help. I just keep hurting him.” 

“It’s not your pride keeping you from getting help, Steve. Something tells me you wouldn’t hesitate  _ to beg _ to keep him safe. You probably already have.” 

_ I have and I’d do it again. _

“You’re scared, Steve. You’re scared to lose him and that’s okay...but now that you’re both safe, it’s time to start work on getting things back to normal.” She reached across the table and covered his hand with her. 

“But--.”

“Nope. You’re going to ask Tony out. Spend the day with Peter on Saturday and then Saturday night, you’re going to Tony’s and you’re not coming back until Monday.”

“We go to church together on Sunday,” Steve said, desperate for an excuse. 

“I can take Peter if he wants to go.” 

“I can’t leave him two nights in a row. Especially for school.”

Natasha sighed, sounding slightly frustrated. “Steve. You’re spending the weekend with Tony. If he really needs you, I will call you. But he needs this. You need it too. Something tells me you can’t sleep without him either.” 

_ God, it’s near impossible without him.  _ “But, I have Tony to help. Why can I sleep with someone, but Peter can’t?”

“Because Peter needs to learn. Every kid sleeps on their own. He can crawl into bed with you on bad nights, but we shouldn’t be encouraging it to be a daily occurrence.” 

Steve huffed. “I don’t even know why we’re worrying so much about this. It’s not like we have another bed for him to sleep in.” 

“No, but when you do get a bigger place, you can’t move into the same room together.”

Steve’s eyes darted up to stare at her. Was she kicking him out? Did she want him gone? “But I thought we could stay--?” He felt wrong for even asking. 

“You’re allowed to stay as long as you want, but when things get serious with Tony, you’re going to move in with him. Tony Stark will definitely have an extra bed for Peter. He can’t always bunk with you two.” 

Steve rolled his eyes. He hated the Tony topic because he did want it to get serious enough to even think about moving in together one day, but it just wasn’t possible. Not with a man like him. It would never work out long term and there was no way Steve was moving Peter in with him, getting him attached and then ending things. Peter needed a stable environment. “You seem to have this fantasy in your head that I’m going to marry Tony Stark and live happily ever after.” 

“Well, why not? Other than you not being good enough for him because you’re the only one that believes that. Tony doesn’t. So, tell me why else you can’t be with him.”

Steve huffed, but he really didn’t have any other response. But that one seemed big enough to ruin any chances. 

Natasha didn’t agree. She patted his hand. “Exactly. So, call him. I’m watching Peter and you’re going out. No getting out of it.” 

* * *

Peter and Steve spent all Saturday together. They went out and looked at all of the window decorations on 5th Avenue. Peter loved how Macy’s had theirs done the best. He went on and on for hours about the Christmas list he was going to write. 

Steve’s heart broke when he said he was gonna ask Santa to give them a home they could live in forever. 

Steve knew he wouldn’t have that much saved by Christmas, but he had enough for one good present. The rest of his money was going straight to savings for an apartment of their own. He also started pitching in around the apartment with Natasha. The tips from the club were good enough for him to afford the shopping bill occasionally. 

He hoped he tired Peter enough to fall asleep easier for Natasha. He didn’t want her to have to deal with him for too long and he didn’t want Peter to suffer either. But he knew Peter had quite the set of lungs on him and he could scream for hours if he wanted. 

He kissed him goodbye and he promised to be good for Natasha and if he needed, of course, Steve was only one phone call away. 

But now, Tony was walking him up the tower and he was telling him about the offices and the different things they did there. Even if he wasn’t distracted by him completely, he wouldn’t understand anything he was saying. Peter would probably understand it more than he could.

Finally, they got to the penthouse and now Steve was amazed by everything around him. He wasn’t attacking Tony’s lips with his so he could appreciate the penthouse. “This is gorgeous, Tony.” 

“Pepper helped me with the decorations. She pretty much did all of it,” he admitted. “Got a kitchen and living room. Few guest rooms. A master bedroom. There’s a home theatre. There’s--.” 

“What  _ don’t _ you have?” Steve asked, looking around. He could have fit dozens of his old apartment in just this floor alone. He tried not to be angry that there were people living like this and then people living like Peter and Steve. Tony didn’t even understand how truly lucky he was. Sure, he felt good about giving someone a few bucks as he passed them on the street, but at the end of the day, he came here and they stayed out there. 

“I don’t have a mini-golf course. I’ve brought the idea up several times with Pep, but it hasn’t been cleared yet.” He shrugged his shoulders and Steve laughed, but Tony was being very serious. 

“Well, you’ve definitely got the room.”

“Plenty of room for your little munchkin to run around and get his energy out, yeah? Jarvis could watch on him if we wanted some alone time.” He winked at him with a smirk. 

Steve couldn’t react to the comment when he was too caught up with him mentioning a stranger to watch Peter. “I’m sorry, but who’s Jarvis? I don’t remember you mentioning him.” He knew Happy, he knew Pepper, and he knew Rhodey. Not a Jarvis.

“Oh, right, sorry. I forget that you don’t know all about Tony Stark sometimes...he’s my AI. Named after my family butler and you know a pretty cool acronym, Just A Rather Very Intelligent System.” 

“AI? Like a computer?” Steve asked hesitantly, hating how dumb he felt. 

But like always, Tony was patient as he explained, “Yeah. Kinda...JARVIS, introduce yourself to Steve.” 

“Good evening, Mr. Rogers,” said a disembodied voice. 

Steve jumped, looking around for the source. 

“Nuh-uh, J. He’s a Captain. We must address him as such,” Tony said with a growing smirk on his face. 

“My apologies, Captain,” JARVIS replied and Steve felt his face heat up. 

“I’m not-- you can just call me Steve.” 

“I was created to respect Mr. Stark and his wishes. I cannot go against a direct order of his.” 

Steve turned to Tony and said, “Tell him to call me Steve. Tell him I’m not a Captain.” 

Tony laughed as he shook his head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Captain Rogers.” 

“Is he always here? He’s always watching you?” Steve asked, suddenly feeling uncomfortable at the idea of something, even if it was only a computer, watching his every move. He’d see every screw up. 

“More or less, yup. He takes care of me when I’m spending all my time in the lab. Reminds me to eat every few hours.” 

“If only you listened, sir.” 

Tony shrugged his shoulders, but Steve was still stuck on the fact he was always watching. “Does he…” He lowered his voice. “Even in the bathroom?”

Tony laughed loudly. “Why so shy? He’s just an interface. He’s not going to watch you when you’re in there. But yeah, if you needed help, he could see you.” 

“I’m only active in the bathrooms and Mr. Stark’s room when needed. It’s very kind of him to keep his guests in there, so I don’t have to see.” 

“J, shut your mouth or I’ll reset your systems,” Tony warned. 

_ Guests.  _ Plural. Probably a frequent occurrence for someone as rich, handsome, and charming as Tony. Steve didn’t expect to be his first, but he never stopped to realize just how many notches might be on his bedpost. 

There was nothing wrong about that, necessarily. Steve just had to keep it in mind not to get attached when Tony was obviously into casual relationships. From the start, before Steve even told him his name, he was very forward with what he wanted. 

Steve could do that. Tony already had him hooked to just throw it away now. Even if it didn’t last, it would be good for a while. Steve could handle it, but Peter...Peter wouldn’t. Steve couldn’t bring him here and show him a world he didn’t even know existed only to rip the carpet out from underneath him when Tony was ready for his next escapade. 

“Don’t listen to him, Steve. He’s just being a dick.” Tony sounded panicked. Nervous. 

Steve shook his head. “No, you don’t have to worry. I know you’re not a...virgin. I’m not either. Obviously.” Despite what Natasha may think. 

“I know, but I doubt you’ve been with anyone besides Peter’s mom. But, me...I’ve been with--.” 

“Stop,” Steve said before he could finish. “I don’t want to know.” 

“Are you just saying that because you’re afraid of the answer?” 

_ Maybe…  _ “Even if I were afraid, it’s none of my business. As long as you’re clean, your sex life isn’t my business unless I’m involved. Or you know, we’re together. Exclusively.” He added the last part, watching him for a reaction. 

“Of course, we’re exclusive,” Tony said immediately. “I mean...that’s okay, right?”

Steve smiled, feeling relieved at his immediate response. “Yes. That’s okay. Of course. It’s perfect.” 

“And I am clean by the way. You don’t have to worry,” Tony said almost awkwardly. 

Steve laughed. “Yeah, so am I.”

“Oh good, so that means if we wanted to take this somewhere JARVIS couldn’t see, we’d be okay.”

“I think we’d be more than okay, Tony.” Steve lowered his voice, hoping it had the same effect that Tony speaking Italian had on him. “I think I still owe you a dance, no?”

Tony’s eyes widened. “Aye aye, Captain.” 

“To your room?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Tony nodded his head. “You know, maybe one day we’ll get around to that tour.” 

_ I won’t be here long. Don’t get my hopes up.  _ “The only tour I need is right to your bedroom.” 

Tony stared at him for a moment before grabbing his hand and pulling. “J, no interruptions. I don’t care if Pepper says it’s a high alert. I am busy.”

“Understood, sir.” 

“Now that that’s out of the way…” Tony trailed off before pulling him down the hallway. 

Steve kept up with him as they hurried down the hallway and once they were inside his bedroom, Steve pulled him in for a kiss. He felt Tony’s lips smile against his. Pulling away, Tony said, “You love your kisses, huh?”

Steve hummed in responses as he leaned in to kiss again. “I really do.” 

“Good. I love them too.” 

Steve kept pushing him back as they continued to make out. He waited until the backs of Tony’s legs hit the mattress. “You have to sit for your dance.” 

Tony immediately sat down, looking up at him with wide eyes. Steve could barely see the browns of them. So this is what Steve looked like when Tony broke out the Italian. “Yes, Captain.” 

Steve tried to stop himself from smiling. “You do that and I can’t keep a straight face.” 

“Good because I’m not feeling very straight right now.” Tony leaned back, resting his hands behind him. “Hey, JARVIS, put some music on for us. Something... _ sexy.” _

Sure enough, music started to play throughout the room and that time, Steve couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous this was. “You’re crazy.”

“Maybe,” Tony said. “Dance for me anyway though. I paid big bucks for this.”

Steve rolled his eyes but continued forward. It had been a few shifts since he started dancing on stage and on the floor so he was definitely more skilled than he had been the night he ran away from Tony. And even though he thought it would be the exact opposite, dancing for Tony was easier than getting on the lap of some drunk stranger. Tony was safe and Tony was smiling and they were having fun. 

Tony was watching him intently as he pulled off his shirt and threw it to the bed. “You shook your hips more on stage.”

Steve blinked. “What?”

“You’re not really moving those hips like you did at work. I was promised a show and you’re clearly lacking,” Tony said, his voice full of teasing. Steve wished he didn’t let go of his shirt so he could whack him with it. 

“Beggers can’t be choosers,” he replied. 

_ “Beggers?”  _ Tony repeated incredulously. “Tony Stark does not  _ beg.”  _

Steve scoffed with an amused smirk on his face. “Please, you’ve been begging for me since you first came into the cafe.”

Tony’s cheeks blushed red and Steve smiled. Tony was finally the flustered one for a change. “It’s not begging. It’s flirting.” 

Steve rolled his eyes as he walked close to Tony. He took a seat next to him on the bed and undid his button. He was very careful as he shimmied out of his pants and kicked them to the ground. He mentally congratulated himself for not falling on his face. 

“You’ve got quite an interesting technique for taking your pants off,” Tony commented, smirking some more. 

“I fell the last time I tried…” He explained sheepishly.

“You fell over stripping out of your pants...and you’re a stripper…”

Steve quieted him by leaning over and kissing his lips. “Don’t make fun of me. It’s harder than it looks.”

Tony cupped the side of his face with his hand to hold him there longer. “I would never,” he said in a voice that didn’t sound at all convincing. Steve kneeled on the bed and moved one leg so it was on the other side of Tony. He pushed him backward until his back hit the bed. Steve smiled down at him before leaning in and kiss him again. While he kissed him, he started to pull up on the hem of his shirt. 

The minute Steve started pulling up, Tony was shoving his hands away. Steve pushed himself up so he wasn’t leaning on him. “I’m sorry,” he apologized, trying to think what he did wrong. “I’m sorry--.”

Tony held onto his wrist so he couldn't go any further. “No, you’re okay. Just-- can I keep my shirt on please?”

Steve wasn’t sure what was causing him to look so insecure and nervous and he wanted to know, but only if Tony wanted to tell him. He just wanted Tony comfortable. But before he could reassure Tony that that was fine, a cell phone was going off. 

Steve half expected Tony to crack a joke about JARVIS silencing everything, but cleared his throat and nodded his head to the side of the room. “You should probably get that.” Steve didn’t move. Tony was never this content to be interrupted. “It could be Peter,” he said when Steve didn’t respond at first. 

That had Steve crawling to the edge of the bed and leaning down to grab his pants off the floor. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and answered without checking the caller ID. It was always Natasha. He put the phone to his ear and the first thing he heard was Peter’s crying.

His heart leaped into his throat. “Natasha, what’s going on?”  _ Why is my baby sobbing? _

“I’m trying to put him to bed,” she said, well, yelled into the phone. 

That didn’t make sense to Steve. He shouldn’t be crying this hard because Steve wasn’t there to put him to bed. They talked about this and he promised not to give Natasha a hard time. He wasn’t this bad last time. “Is he hurt?”

“No-- I can’t understand him through his crying. He just keeps sobbing and he won’t listen.” Natasha sounded worried, but Steve didn’t blame her. Peter was screaming like he was in pain. Who only knew what Natasha’s neighbors were wondering. 

“Put him on the phone. I’ll talk to him,” Steve said, desperate to calm him down. 

He almost regretted saying that when Peter’s sobs became 100% clearer. He felt his heart breaking. “Baby, calm down,” Steve said immediately. “You need to calm down for me.” 

“P-Papa!” He managed to get out after a few loud sobs. 

“Yes, it’s Papa. I’m okay. You’re okay.” Steve just wanted him to calm down. If he kept this up, he’d could send himself into an asthma attack. 

“No!” He cried. 

“Then you need to be a big boy and tell me why not,” Steve said, praying he would just calm down a little. He didn’t. “Peter, you need to calm down or else you won’t be able to breathe. Do you want to go to the hospital again?”

“Papa, no!” He sobbed some more, just barely calming himself down. 

“Deep breaths and calmly tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it for you.” 

Peter continued to sob and he said some words, but Steve couldn’t understand any of them he was saying. He was starting to wheeze and Steve was terrified that he was going to overwhelm himself. He wasn’t sure if Peter remembered where his inhaler was and he didn’t tell Natasha before he left. He didn’t even think of it. How could he be so dumb?

“Peter, you need to take deep breaths. You’re okay. I can be home soon if you need me to be there.” 

“Papa!” He screeched so loudly Steve had to pull the phone away from his ear briefly before returning it. “My effy! Papa! Ellie!” 

Finally, the words were clear. “Peter, what’s wrong with Ellie?” 

“He’s gone!” 

Steve waited for him to stop crying to listen. “Look around the apartment, buddy. He’s gotta be around--.” 

“No! I left him! I left him! He’s gone!” Peter was whining through his sobs now. 

“Left him? Left him where?” Steve asked before he remembered their outing today. They trekked through the city and Peter insisted on bringing Elliot with them. He must have put him down somewhere.

“I don’t know!” Peter cried. 

“Alright, I’ll go get him. You have to breathe though, okay? I want you to stop crying and sit with Natasha. Can you show her where your inhaler is? Just in case.” Steve was already standing up off the bed and grabbing his pants. He tucked the phone between his ear and shoulder as he jumped in the jeans. Surprisingly, he didn’t fall over this time. 

“Papa, Ellie!” 

“I know, baby. I know. But you need to relax for me. Put Nat on the phone, okay?”

Peter whined some more into the phone before he finally handed it off to Natasha. “I didn’t know he was saying Ellie, Steve.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m gonna go see if I can find him. Peter’s inhaler is in the top drawer. If he needs it. But I think he was calming down.”

“You’re going to find him? Steve, it’s almost 11.”

“Yeah, and?” Steve said, reaching over to grab his shirt where he had thrown it so carelessly before. 

“Half of the places you went to are probably closed.” 

“Maybe. Maybe not. I just have to figure out when I remember seeing Peter hold him last. Retrace our steps.” He hoped Peter didn’t put him down outside when they were window shopping. If he left him on the sidewalk, there was no way he was going to find him. If he left him in one of the stores, then hopefully, someone picked him up and handed him to be put in the lost and found. 

“Good luck,” she said, sounding sympathetic. Peter was still sobbing in the background. “God, I hope you find him.” 

“So do I,” Steve softly. “Tell him I’m looking. Text me if something happens.” 

“I’ll take care of him. Call when you find him.” 

“Of course,” Steve said before hanging up the phone. He turned to look at Tony who was still just sitting where he was. Something was wrong, but Peter always took precedence and right now he couldn’t worry about anything other than calming his son down. 

“Is Pete okay?” Tony asked, his voice unusually quiet. 

“No. He left Elliot somewhere so I have to go find him.” By now, usually, Tony would have been off the bed and getting ready to go. No, usually, he would have been on his feet halfway through that phone call. 

“You want me to come help?”

Steve nodded his head. “If you would like to help.” 

Tony stood up and he started to get dressed back into his coat and other layers. “Yeah, sure. Stuffed elephant search and rescue. I’m ready.” 

“You okay?” Steve asked, already knowing the answer. 

Tony nodded his head once and looked anywhere but Steve. “I’m good. Let’s get going.” He walked around him to leave the bedroom. 

Steve knew he wasn’t okay, but he’d figure out what was wrong after Elliot was safe in Peter’s arms again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first peter, now ellie... oh no


	18. Chapter 18

**** After 45 minutes of searching, Steve started to panic just like Peter was. Natasha was texting him throughout the search letting him know that Peter needed to use his inhaler and since then, he’d been laying in Natasha’s lap. He wasn’t sobbing anymore, but he was whining and sniffling. 

Steve felt like sobbing himself. He wanted to scream and cry. Elliot was nowhere they looked. There weren’t many places left that they walked through. Steve was starting to get scared that someone saw the ratty but cute stuffed animal and snatched it up for themselves. 

After they left yet another department store that didn’t have Elliot, Steve stormed out of the building and smacked his hand against the brick wall. That stuffed animal was all Peter had. He had gotten rid of every single one of his toys except for Elliot just to save Steve’s art and now he was gone too. Peter didn’t have anything and it was all Steve's fault. 

Tony grabbed his hand before he could even think about punching the wall again. “Steve, calm down.” 

“I can’t calm down!” Steve shouted, yanking his hand from Tony. He ran it through his hair anxiously. He hadn’t thought about getting bundled up at all before running out of the tower. “I need to find his stuffed animal! I need to!” 

“It’s just a stuffed animal, Steve,” Tony said, seeming to get out of his funk long enough to comfort Steve. “Peter will be upset at first, but as long as he’s not the one lost, you’re going to be okay.”

“No, you don’t understand, Tony. That’s his effy. That’s Ellie. He’s not just some stuffed animal. He’s had him since he was a baby. That’s his stuffie. If I don't find him, I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do.” 

“We’re going to go home and you’re going to give him another toy to sleep with until we can come back out tomorrow and look again. Most of the stores are just about closing, Steve.” 

Steve covered his face, shaking his head. Tony didn’t understand. He just didn’t get it. Peter didn’t have anything else. “I’m not going back without him. We’ve got to keep looking.”

Tony sighed. “Well, where else would he have left it? Another store?”

Then it clicked in Steve’s head. “Dinner.” 

“He left him at a restaurant?” Tony asked, sounding hopeful. 

“He sat him next to him. He was pretending to feed him his chicken. He got ketchup all over his shirt so we went to the bathroom and cleaned him up and then paid the check right when we got out. We left him there. I was holding Peter and we didn’t grab him.” Steve turned around and was ready to run where the restaurant was, but Tony grabbed his wrist. 

“You don’t need to run, Steve. I can drive us there.” He looked confused because he didn’t understand why it was instinct for Steve to run. 

He nodded his help, avoiding his gaze. “Drive fast.” 

Tony drove as fast as he safely could, but when they reached the diner, the doors were locked. He pressed his face against the glass and he couldn’t see people inside, but the lights were still on. He knocked against the glass loudly. “Hey! Open up!” 

Tony was behind him and he said, hesitantly, “They’re not going to open up, Steve. If you know it’s in here, then we can come back tomorrow.” 

“No!” Steve yelled, quite childishly. He was starting to sound like Peter in one of his tantrums. “They need to get over here and open this goddamn door!” He pounded on the glass again. 

Tony pulled his fists away before he could do it again. “Steve, you’re going to break the glass!” 

“Then at least I’ll be inside!” He yelled, even though there was no one inside to hear his complaints. 

“Why the hell would anyone open the door for some man banging and screaming on their front door?” Tony asked and even though he had a point, Steve didn’t care. He just needed these doors open. 

He used his other hand to start knocking rapidly again. “Hello!” Tony tried to stop him, but Steve only yelled louder. He yelled until finally, he saw a man come from behind the counter, staring at him in apprehension. 

Steve knocked again. “Hey! Please come here and open the door!” 

The man came over slowly but still kept his distance. Steve could just barely hear him through the closed doors. “If you two don’t get the hell out of here, I’m gonna call the police!”

Tony started tugging him away from the door. “Okay, Steve it’s time to go.”

Steve refused to budge. He was close to dropping to his knees and folding his hands together for this man. “Please! I just need my son’s toy! Please open the door!” 

The man shook his head. “We open tomorrow at 8.”

“That’s too late!” Steve yelled. “Please. It’ll be three minutes. My son needs his toy. Please!” 

The man started to shake his head again before Tony huffed and pushed Steve to the side. He pulled a 50 dollar bill from his wallet and pressed it against the glass. “This is all yours, buddy, if you just open the door to get him his stuffed elephant!”

The man stared at the money and of course, he only hesitated a second before walking over and unlocking the door for them. After all, money ruled the world. He opened the door just barely and held his hand out. Tony shoved the bill into his hand. “What can I get for you?” He grunted. 

“There was a stuffed animal. An elephant. We left him at the table over there,” Steve said, pointing to the booth they ate at earlier that night. “Did someone put him in the lost and found?”

“A stuffed elephant?”

Steve nodded his head. “Yes, sir.” 

“Let me check. Stay here.” He shut the door and walked back behind the counter. 

Steve shut his eyes and began to pray.  _ Please, God. You’ve taken so much from Peter already. Just give him his Elliot. Please.  _ He didn’t open them again until he heard the door opening. He shot them open and his eyes immediately went to the man’s hands. One was pushing open the door and the other was holding Elliot. 

Before the man could pull his arm away, Steve reached forward and snatched Elliot in his hands. “Thank you. Thank you.”

“Yeah, whatever. Just don’t leave him here again. We’re not supposed to open the door after closing.” The man didn’t sound like he understood just how much this meant to Steve. 

“We won’t. Promise.” Steve hugged Elliot tight to his chest. “Thank you.”

“Alright, night,” the man said, eager to get them to leave. 

Tony wrapped an arm around Steve and escorted him away from the door. Steve couldn’t focus on walking when he finally had Elliot in his arms. When they got into the car, Steve finally spoke, “We found him, Tony. I didn’t think we were going to find him.” 

“He’s fine. He’s right there. Why don’t we bring him back to Peter before one of you die of a nervous breakdown.” 

Tony started driving and Steve couldn’t help but feel stupid at how he’d acted. When Peter threw tantrums like that, he had an excuse. Steve had none. He just made a fool of himself. “I’m sorry for how I acted,” Steve apologized in a quiet voice. “This elephant is just very special…” 

Tony’s voice softened. “I figured he is...my mom gave me an old family blanket that was passed down to her. To this day if I lost that, I think I’d have the same reaction as you.”

Elliot wasn’t a passed down heirloom. He was just a stuffed animal that Steve saw in the store one day and bought it because it reminded him of Peter. He didn’t expect Peter to become attached to him, but he did. And he was all Peter had left. 

“Text Nat and let her know we’ll be there in like 10 minutes. Let that poor kid relax.”

Steve used one hand to shoot Natasha a text, the other squeezing Elliot so tight no one could take him away. He didn’t loosen his hold the entire way back to Nat’s. 

* * *

When they walked through the door, he heard Peter’s feet pattering against the floor. He stopped right in front of Steve and started bouncing up and down, reaching for Elliot. “Ellie! Ellie!” He started to cry again. 

Steve quickly kneeled in front of him and handed Elliot to him. Peter took him in his arms and squeezed him close to his chest. He planted many kisses on the top of his head. “I’m so sorry, Ellie! I’m sorry!”

Steve pulled Peter in close. “Shh, baby. It’s okay. He’s not mad at you.” 

“I left him! I’m such a bad Papa!” Peter sobbed, petting Elliot’s head. 

“No,” Steve said sternly. “You are not a bad Papa. He loves you and you love him. You take such good care of him. You made one little mistake. That’s it. He’s your baby. He loves you.”

“I don’t want him to be mad,” Peter cried, rubbing his eyes. 

“He could never be mad at you, Peter. I promise.” 

_ He thought of all the times Peter had been mad at him. When they had to get rid of the car. When he was stuck in the motel. When they couldn’t see the stars. _

Peter just continued to cry as he held Elliot close in his arms. 

Steve rubbed his back softly. “Why don’t we get you to bed? You’re gonna make yourself sick with all this crying and not sleeping.”

“Ellie,” he whined, pulling Elliot to himself even more. 

“Elliot is all yours and he’ll join us. What do you say? Wanna go get some sleep?” Steve asked him with a soft voice. Peter nodded his head and he lifted him up in his arms gently. “C’mon, baby. Let’s get you to sleep.” He turned to Natasha and Tony, who were just staring and said, “I’ll be right back out.” He walked down the hall and into the bedroom before either of them could say a word. 

Peter was still sniffling in his arms when they sat down on the bed. “Papa,” he whined again. “I was so scared I never see him again.” 

“But you have him. It’s okay,” Steve whispered, kissing the top of his head. “But now that you’ve got him in your arms, how about you go to sleep? You need your rest.”

Peter nodded his head and Seve knew he would fall asleep soon. Natasha already had his pajamas on him and he was exhausted. His eyes were drooping shut as he leaned his head against Steve. 

What guaranteed getting him to sleep was easy enough for Steve. He cradled him in his arms and began to sing softly,  _ “Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high.”  _ Peter smiled and nestled himself closer in his arms.  _ “There’s a land that I’ve heard of once in a lullaby. Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue. And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.”  _

His skies hadn’t been blue in years. They were constantly gray and stormy, but he had a few rainbows when Peter was happy. Lately, that wasn’t enough. 

_ “Someday, I’ll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me. Where troubles melt like lemon drops, way above the chimney tops, that’s where you’ll find me.” _ He let his eyes flutter shut. He wanted that time of his life now. He was sick of his life being one shitshow after another. Peter deserved a break and selfishly, Steve wanted a break himself. These dates with Tony were giving him nibbles of what life should be like. He wanted more and more of it. 

_ “Somewhere over the rainbow, blue birds fly. Blue birds fly over the rainbow. Why then, oh, why can’t I?”  _

He knew Peter was asleep by the time his lullaby ended, Steve was just about to drift off himself. Until a knock at the door had him blinking his eyes open again. The door was open and there was Tony standing in the doorway. He had his arms crossed tightly over his chest, not aggressively but anxiously. 

“Hey, sorry about being such a wreck…” Steve started to apologize. 

Tony nodded his head. “It’s fine. I think I’m gonna get going anyway.”

Steve sat up straighter, careful not to disrupt Peter. “Wait, you’re going to leave?”

Tony’s eyes were on the floor as he shrugged his shoulders. “I mean...yeah.” 

Logically, it made sense. Tony had his own apartment to go to now that their date night was spoiled and Steve was busy with Peter. But still, Steve wasn’t ready to say goodnight to him. He didn’t want to. 

“Well, can you stay for a few minutes? I never got to thank you for tonight…” 

“You don’t need to thank me, Steve.” 

“Tony, come here. Just for a moment.” Steve shifted on the mattress so that Tony had room to sit. 

Tony sighed before walking into the room, shutting the door softly behind him. He sat on the edge of the bed, straight as a rod. Steve frowned when he saw how noticeably uncomfortable he looked sitting there. 

“I know there’s not a lot of room, but you’ll fit. I promise.” Steve was glad that the bed Natasha kept in her guest room was only a twin bed; it forced Tony to be close. 

Tony eyed him warily before moving to copy Steve’s position beside him. Their arms pressed up against each other and Steve didn’t feel the usual warmth Tony brought with him. He’d been off all night and it was kinda worrying Steve. 

“Thank you--.”

“You’ve already thanked me.” 

“Can I finish?” Steve asked, not unkindly. Tony didn’t argue it, so he continued, “Thank you for going out there with me tonight. Thank you for giving up your own money to get him to open that door. I was acting like a crazy person…”

“Your son lost his toy. That’s okay,” Tony assured him even though it didn’t sound “okay”.

“Still, it seems like nothing to get so worked up over.” Steve felt embarrassed at the thought of Tony seeing him like that. 

“We don’t control how we feel...that’s not your fault. You’ve got a lot going on, obviously,” Tony said, gesturing to Peter. “You’re allowed to break down every once in a while without having to explain yourself.” 

_ But I want to explain myself. I wish I could.  _

“I’m sorry for ruining our night. I didn’t expect to have to run out.” Steve rocked Peter gently when he let out a little whine. 

Tony sighed and it sounded like there was a lot behind it. “I get it. You’ve got Peter. He’s important. Some things take precedent.”

Steve looked up at him with wide eyes. He kept his voice low even though it was a struggle. “Wait, Tony, don’t--.” Steve wasn’t even sure what to say. He couldn’t exactly tell Tony that Peter wasn’t more important than him...because that would be a lie. And Tony would know that. There was no one on this earth more important to Steve than Peter. “Don’t say it like that.” 

When Tony looked at him, his smile was almost sad. “I know it’s true, Steve. And you don’t have to apologize for that. He’s your son. I’m just…a guy.”

Steve moved one hand from where he was holding Peter to grab Tony’s hand. “You’re my boyfriend. You mean a lot to me just like Peter does. If you were just  _ some guy  _ then I wouldn’t have even thought of introducing you to Peter. And, I don’t just hook up with guys-- or girls, for that matter. I really like you, Tony. Handling a dating life while raising a son by myself isn’t easy. But I’m willing to try with us…”

_ Please be willing too. Please don’t tell me I scared you off already.  _

“I want to try too,” Tony said, his eyes looking hopeful. “But, I thought you…”

“You thought I what?”

“I told you I wanted to keep my shirt on and you  _ freaked,”  _ Tony said, pulling his hand to his chest and tugged on his shirt. 

Steve frowned. “I didn’t  _ freak, _ Tony."

“We were having a good time, Steve, and then I fucked up. I shouldn’t have ruined the mood.” Tony shrugged his shoulders. 

“You didn’t ruin the mood, Tony. You were telling me something that made you uncomfortable, Tony. That doesn’t ruin the mood.”

“You jumped off of me like I was disgusting.” 

“You don’t disgust me,” Steve said immediately. “I was just afraid that I was doing something wrong. I wasn’t going to stay on top of you when you were asking me to stop.” 

Tony hesitated. “So, you don’t care that I want to keep my shirt on if-- when we…” He gestured weakly with his hand. 

“If that’s what you want, Tony, then it stays on. I mean, if you want, maybe we can just shut the lights off--.” 

“No,” Tony snapped. “It’s not-- I’d just prefer my shirt to stay on.” 

Steve wanted to ask. He wanted to know  _ why.  _ But God knew that Steve did some questionable things and he didn’t want anyone asking him why he did the things he did. So he didn’t ask. “If you never want to take off your shirt in front of me, that’s okay. I will never ask you to.” 

“Really?” 

“Of course, Tony.” 

Tony’s shoulders relaxed and it looked like 100lbs of dead weight was lifted off of his shoulders. “Oh… that’s...that’s a relief.” 

“Did you think that I wouldn’t let you keep your shirt on?” Steve asked, hoping Tony seriously didn't think he would refuse to do something like that for him. “It’s just a shirt, Tony. It’s not like it’ll get in the way.” He smirked, nudging his shoulder gently. 

“So, you’re really just okay with me keeping my shirt on? You’re not even asking why?” Tony asked incredulously. 

“Well, I’m curious, but that’s not my business. If it was something you felt like you needed to tell me, you would. And if you’re not ready yet, I can wait until you are.” Steve couldn’t be annoyed Tony was hiding something from him when he was hiding something much bigger. 

Tony finally smiled softly. He moved closer against his side and rested his head on his shoulder. “You still want me to stay the night?” 

“Please,” Steve whispered, kissing the top of his head. 

Tony chuckled and said, “So, you are capable of innocent kisses.” 

“Hush or else I’ll push you off the bed.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me,” Steve replied. 

Tony pulled the comforter up so he could crawl and lay down. Once he was settled, he asked quietly, “Is Peter okay?”

“He’s okay.” Steve paused. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah...I’m okay.” 

Steve didn’t know if he was lying to him or if he really was okay now, but before he seemed the farthest thing from “okay”. “You know you can always talk to me. About anything.”  

“I know. Thank you.”

Steve thought they both had a problem with sharing because he surely wasn’t telling Tony everything and he had a feeling Tony wasn’t either. But Steve didn’t want to worry about that now. Not when they were finally relaxed and not having to run off and do something to interrupt them. 

The secrets and being 100% open with each other was only necessary when they were serious. And they weren’t serious. 

Steve looked down at Tony’s head pillowed on his arm with his eyes shut...oh, yeah, not serious at all. 

* * *

“So,” Natasha drawled the next morning once they were all sitting around the breakfast table. “How did you two sleep last night?”

Steve narrowed his eyes at her. “Stop with that smirk. Peter was in the bed with us. It was all PG.”

Peter was bouncing on his knees as he kneeled in his chair. He had been excited ever since he woke up and saw that Tony stayed the night. “They had a sleepover, but didn’t tell me!”

“We didn’t plan it, baby,” Steve said, tapping his fork by Peter’s plate. “Stop bouncing around and eat.” 

Tony poked him in the shin with his foot and raised his eyebrows. “Stop worrying about your son and you eat, Steve. You’ve taken like three bites.”

“I’ve taken more than three,” Steve said, staring down at his plate, where maybe five bites were missing. 

“He’s annoying like that,” Natasha said. “Seems to think Peter is the only one that needs to eat.” 

“Don’t you two gang up on me,” Steve said, stabbing a piece of pancake with his fork and sticking it into his mouth. After it was chewed and swallowed, he opened his mouth to show them it was gone. “See? Six bites.” 

“So you’re trying to show Peter that six bites are more than enough?” Tony asked, sounding too much like Natasha. 

“No, he knows to eat everything I put on his plate,” Steve said, glancing over at Peter to give him a look so he knew Steve was warning him not to follow in his steps. 

“Well, how do--.” Tony was cut off by his cell phone ringing. He pulled it from his pocket and made a face. “I’m sorry, I have to get this.” After excusing himself, he got up from the table and started to walk off. 

Natasha’s apartment wasn’t big enough to give Tony all the privacy he probably wanted, so Steve could hear his side of the conversation as he walked away. He knew he shouldn’t listen in, but he couldn’t help his curiosity. 

“Obie, calm down. Jesus, I can barely answer the phone without you getting all worked up,” Tony sounded annoyed as he spoke to this other person, Obie. “Pepper can handle it. I know-- no, I’m not.” He groaned. “You’re overreacting. No. You are. I’ll be back there soon, okay? Just give me a few hours. No, I’m not coming right there. Pepper can handle it for now. I won’t be there until later tonight, so just take care of it. Please…Yeah, okay. Fine. See you later. Bye, Obie.” 

When he came back to the table, Peter was babbling excitedly to Natasha about the crazy dream he had while she responded with just as much enthusiasm, so it didn’t seem like they were all eavesdropping when he was gone. Only Steve was. 

Tony took a seat at the table, sighing heavily. “Sorry about that.” 

Steve reached over and grabbed his hand. “It’s fine. Is everything okay?” 

“Just some trouble at work. Apparently, there’s some big meeting I missed. I don’t know.” He shook his head. “It’s my business though, so if I want to take a day off then I should be allowed.” 

“You’re your own boss, so it should be okay.” 

“Kinda, but I still have a partner in it, Obadiah Stane. He was my father’s friend and he’s helping run the business since he passed. But, sometimes I just wish it was mine and only mine. I’ve just been feeling like we aren’t on the same page ever since," Tony finished his sentence even though Steve felt like there was more there.

Steve paused, waiting for him to continue, but he didn’t. “Ever since what?”

“You really know nothing about me and Stark Industries,” Tony said, sounding in awe. 

“It’s really that unbelievable?” Steve asked, feeling self-conscious about being so ignorant. Tony was smart. He was a genius. Steve...not so much. Not even close. 

“Honestly? Yeah...the news is always putting all of my private business on their front pages. I’m just shocked that you could avoid it all.” 

_ I’ve never owned a television. I don’t have money to waste on tabloids or even the time to read them.  _

“I’m not much of a news watcher…” Steve said, shrugging his shoulders, hoping that was believable and Peter was still distracted enough that he didn’t start telling Tony about how the first time he’d ever had a chance to sit down in front of a television frequently was moving in with Natasha. 

“And you still haven’t Googled me.” 

“No...do you want me to?” 

Tony hesitated as he debated his answer before finally telling Steve, “I want to say yes. Because it would be so much easier, but there’s a lot...and I think it would be better for me to explain it all. When I’m ready.” 

“Than I won’t look you up,” Steve said, keeping his voice firm so Tony knew he wasn't lying. “Whenever you’re ready and only when you’re ready, do I need to find out.” Maybe by then, Steve would be ready to tell Tony his secret. Or maybe their relationship would never get far enough. 

Tony stared at him with a smile that Natasha would definitely make fun of Steve for ever wearing. “You wanna have a do-over?” 

“A do-over?” Steve asked with some amusement to his voice. 

“Yeah. A night of just you and me without being interrupted. Third time’s the charm, right?” He winked as he leaned his elbow on the table and rested his chin in his hand to be more comfortable as he stared at Steve. 

“You think we’re that lucky?”

“Look who I’m dating. I’m the luckiest man in the world.” Tony leaned closer and Steve started to close the distance as well. 

“Oh, that’s disgusting. Do you two always do this?” Natasha said with a pinched face. 

“They’re always kissin’,” Peter answered, looking just as disgusted as Natasha. Peter didn’t need his dramatics to be encouraged, but of course, Natasha was.

Natasha regarded him very seriously. “I’m so sorry you have to put up with this, Peter.” 

Steve rolled his eyes before Peter could continue on with his drama. “Oh, stop it, you two. We’re just kissing. Don’t stare if you don’t want to see.” 

“Don’t stare?” Natasha repeated incredulously. “You’re sucking face at my kitchen table.” 

“Yeah!” Peter said, waving his fork. “Stop sucking face!” 

Natasha and Tony laughed at Peter while steve just hid his face in his hands. Peter’s vocabulary was expanding too much around these two. “If he ever gets in trouble in school for his language, you two are explaining why to his teacher.” 

“Tony Stark in a parent-teacher conference? I’d pay big money to see that.” Natasha laughed and Tony nodded his head. 

“If Pete needs a little get out of detention free card when he’s older, I wouldn’t mind slipping a few Benjamins for the teacher to look the other way,” Tony said and Steve wasn’t sure if he was joking or not. 

“No, no. There will be  _ none  _ of that,” Steve said when Peter started giggling over something he really didn’t quite understand yet. “Peter will not be getting detention.” 

Natasha rolled her eyes. “You want your kid to be that kid? I hate to break it to you, but something tells me this little ball of energy will be spending at least one day after school in a detention room for being a little too wild in class.” 

“No, Peter  _ knows  _ to behave in school. He’s always good. And even if he does break a rule that ends him up in detention, there will be  _ no  _ bribing teachers just to get him out. He will serve his time and learn his lesson. ” 

“Are you the dad that would leave your kid in holding cell overnight to give him a taste of what being locked up would feel like?” Natasha asked, quirking an eyebrow. 

“My dad was that dad,” Tony said. “After that, I called Rhodey when I got into trouble.”

There was so much going on into his conversation that Steve didn’t even know where to start. “Peter isn’t going to jail.” 

Natasha lifted Peter off his chair into her arms and held him out to Steve. “Look at these eyes. Those are the eyes of a trouble maker. I can see it now. Young boy arrested for trying to free all the puppies from the pound.” 

“Puppies?” Peter asked, kicking his feet wildly. 

“No puppies,” Steve told him, causing him to pout immediately. “And if he were arrested for anything, I’m sure he would be terrified and I'm not going to let him sit in that cell scared out of his mind.”

“Don’t worry, Pete,” Tony said. “If you ever get busted for freeing the pups, I’ll cover your bail.” 

“You’ll probably be helping him run the operation.” 

“Then you better bail us out, Miss Romanoff. I wouldn’t survive in the big house. Do you see this face? I’d get a lot of unwanted attention.” He turned to Steve quickly. “Would you be one of those girlfriends that write letters to their jailbird boyfriends? Come visit me often. We can make out with the glass between us.” 

Steve wrinkled his nose. “As romantic as that sounds, maybe just refrain from getting arrested with my son.” 

“I wouldn’t get ‘rested, Papa,” Peter said. “If the puppies are nice and warm in the shelter, then why would I put them on the street? Living out there isn’t fun.” 

Steve whipped his head to face Peter. Natasha looked just as panicked but was better at recovering and taking control of the situation than Steve was. “You know Clint from the cafe, Pete?” She asked, pulling him in closer to sit on her lap. 

Peter nodded his head rapidly as he looked up at her. “Uh-huh! He gave me a whole dollar when he said that I couldn’t eat my donut in three bites and I did!” 

“That doesn’t surprise me,” she said, shaking her head. “Well, he’s got a puppy of his own.” 

Peter gasped loudly and he quickly stood up on her lap like that would change anything. “He has a puppy?”

“He sure does. Golden lab named Lucky. Maybe one day we can say hi.”

While Peter was successfully distracted by the idea of meeting a new dog, thanks to Nat, Steve turned to Tony and asked quietly, “You were left in the holding cell?”

“I went to college by the time I was 15. College parties were great for drinking. Until a party got busted one night and I was so obviously underage. Called my dad to come pick me up, but he didn’t want to waste his time with me. Said I’d learn my lesson. And I sure did. Learned not to call him when I needed help anymore.”

Steve glanced over at Peter, who was still excited about the dog. He knew right now, he was just a baby, but one day, he’d be a teenager and Steve didn’t want him to ever feel like he couldn’t come to Steve for his problems. He wanted Peter to always trust him with everything he was going through. 

“I’m sorry,” he said to Tony, unsure of what else he could say. 

“Don’t worry. It’s in the past. Your old man ever leave you rotting in a cell?”

“I’ve never been arrested before,” Steve said. “But my dad was arrested a few times for bar fights. He had my ma use our emergency money to bail him out...set us behind more often than not. Especially when I was always in the hospital.” 

“Both our dads really did suck major ass, huh?” Tony leaned back in his chair letting a puff of air out of his lips. 

“Yeah, I guess they did…” 

“Well, it’s good you’re nothing like either of them then.” Tony gave him a smile and he seemed so genuine, except he couldn’t be. Because he didn’t know what hells he had put Peter through. 

“Yeah because losing my son at a park was such great parenting,” Steve huffed. That was only the very tip of the iceberg. 

“I know what a bad dad is,” Tony said, sitting up again. His voice was more serious than he ever sounded “You know what a bad dad is. You are not that. That kid has the best dad on this planet. If there’s one thing you don’t ever doubt, let it be that.”  

“How can you be so sure?” He whispered, not to keep his voice down but because he was afraid to try and keep it from breaking. 

Tony put a hand on his arm and used his thumb to rub small circles. “Because I know you and I see how happy you make Peter. No one is better for him than you.”

_ He doesn’t know the half of it. He doesn’t any of it. If he did...he’d never stay.  _

Despite the words his brain was telling him, he gave Tony a small smile. “Thank you, Tony…”

“Don’t thank me for telling the truth.”

_ And don’t hate me for hiding it.  _

* * *

“So, how does it feel to finally get a full night without interruption?” Natasha asked with a smirk as they filled the glass counter with that day’s pastries. 

Steve smiled as he filled up the section of fruity pebbles donuts. Nat ordered those especially just for Peter now. “That’s none of your business.”   
“Oh, come on,” she said. “I don’t want all the nitty-gritty details of your night. I just want a basic overview.” 

“There aren’t any  _ nitty-gritty  _ details.” He kept his head stuck in the counter so that Natasha couldn’t see his face. He wasn’t lying, but he could bet that his cheeks were turning red. 

“He hasn’t deflowered you yet?” Natasha asked, actually sounding shocked even though she tried to play it off as a joke. 

“I was  _ deflowered _ years ago, thank you very much.” 

“You sure?”

Steve stood up so fast, he hit his head on the counter. Natasha stifled a laugh as he straightened himself. “Yes, I’m sure. I have a son. It’s impossible to make one of those without certain activities.” 

“I know how babies are made, Steven. I went to health class. I just have a hard time believing you  _ ever  _ participated in anything like it.” 

“Thanks a lot.” Steve rolled his eyes. 

“No problem.” She grinned. “But seriously, you and Tony haven’t done the do yet?”

“Done the do? What are you? Five?” Steve shook his head. “But, no, we haven’t. We’ve only had one real night together. And we just started dating. I didn’t sleep with Peter’s mom until after the wedding.” 

Natasha gasped with a smile. “No way. You were one of those couples?”

Steve made a face. “There’s nothing wrong with waiting, Natasha.” 

“I know, I know. I just totally should have guessed that. Even though Tony Stark is the complete opposite of that. Just surprised at how whipped he is for you.”

Steve knew he had no right to be, but he was a little jealous at the idea of other people being with Tony. Tony wasn’t always his and he won’t be his forever. He couldn’t be territorial over a person like that. Especially Tony Stark. “Please spare me the stories. I don’t want to hear about all the notches in his belt.”

“There’s a lot--.”

“Gee, thanks,” Steve said, setting the tray of cookies down harder than necessary. 

“Let me finish-- yes, there’s a lot, but that just goes to show how much you mean to him. He really likes you. Like really  _ really  _ likes you.”

“And you know all of this because we haven’t slept together?” Steve asked, quirking one eyebrow up at her. 

“Definitely. He’s taking it slow with you. That’s not something Tony Stark just does.” 

Steve debated for a moment whether or not he should tell her, but in the end, he decided it wouldn’t hurt. He could trust her with a secret. He was tired of bottling everything in. Even though the cafe was empty, he kept his voice low. “We haven’t had sex yet, but we do...you know... _ kiss  _ a lot.” 

Natasha stopped what she was doing to give him her full attention. “Kiss how?”

Steve stared down at the floor when he felt his ears burn. “You know. We make out and usually, my clothes come off. But just down to the underwear. Except...he never does. I mean we’ve only really made out like that twice. The night Ellie was missing, we were interrupted before it got too far, but last night, he kept his shirt and sweatpants on. I know I’m the stripper...but it feels a little weird to be the only one in my underwear.” 

When Natasha replied, her voice was serious. “Did you talk to him about it?”

“He gets nervous. The first night he said he wanted to keep his shirt on and I told him that was fine, but I just don’t know if maybe  _ I’m  _ the one taking things too fast.” Steve leaned against the counter, running a hand through his hair. 

Natasha nodded her head when he said that as if she suddenly understood. “Like I said, Steve, he likes you more than normal. When he doesn’t like someone, he’ll just jump right into bed without another thought. He’s just overthinking things and when he’s ready, he’ll let you in.”

Steve nodded his head, feeling a little better by her words. 

Natasha couldn’t last the moment of silence before she was laughing and muttering, “Metaphorically and literally.” 

Steve snapped his head up and sacked her in the arm lightly. “Nat!” 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Are  _ you  _ the bottom in the relationship, Captain?” Steve didn’t know how to answer that so he didn’t say a word. Natasha took that as him agreeing. “That’s what I thought.” 

“Why do you make everything sexual?”

“We were literally talking about sex!” Natasha defended. 

“Without me?” A new voice joined in as Clint walked from the back. “I’m a few minutes late and I miss out on all the fun. So not fair.” 

“We were just talking about who would be the bottom between Steve and Tony.” 

“Oh, Stark definitely.” 

_ “See?”  _

Steve’s cheeks joined his ears in turning beet red. “We were not discussing this. At all.”

“Hey, if you want to switch it up sometimes, I’m sure Stark would be happy to pitch.” Clint clapped him on the back as he walked over to them. 

Steve shoved him away without much force as they laughed. “Ha ha, very funny. But actually,” he said with a smirk, “Which one of  _ you  _ is the bottom?” 

The comment had Natasha sputtering in embarrassment. Her cheeks matched his. “That doesn’t even make sense, Rogers.” 

“‘Course it does,” Clint answered, always happy to play along with a joke, even at his own expense. “They make quite tasteful strapons that I would  _ love  _ to try out.”

Natasha shoved Clint away from her. “Get away from me.”

“Oh, baby, don’t be like this.”

Steve laughed at them, happy to have the attention off of him. “I’m gonna head to the back. You guys have fun here...and remember, don’t get too touchy. Customers will be coming in soon.” He winked and escaped to the back just as Natasha started yelling after him. 

_ Have a taste of your own medicine, Natasha. _

* * *

“You know, drinking that every day is not good for you at all,” Steve said as he watched Tony down his espresso shots. 

Tony smirked at him. “Oh, my barista suddenly cares about all the coffee I’m drinking, huh?”

“Your  _ boyfriend  _ cares,” Steve corrected, loving the way it sounded each time he said it. 

“I have such a sweet boyfriend,” Tony whispered, leaning over the counter so they were closer. Steve started to lean forward as well until their lips were only a few inches apart.

They both pulled back when someone cleared their throat. “Excuse me, I’m ready to order.”

Steve blanched. “Of course, ma’am. I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you there.” Tony backed away as he chuckled. 

The woman rolled her eyes. “Of course you didn’t. You were too busy staring at your honey.” 

“I’m sorry,” Steve said again, getting ready for her order. 

“You’ve got a break in a few minutes, right?” Tony asked. “I’ll go sit at Peter’s table until you’re ready.” 

“Don’t you have work?” Steve asked, knowing the answer. Pepper had called already, telling him not to be late. 

“I don’t have any meetings. I can be a little late.” Tony waved him off before walking over to the empty table that Peter sat at when he was visiting the cafe. He blew him a kiss once he was sitting.

Steve glanced over at him every so often as he worked on the next few customers’ orders. Tony was always staring right back with a smile on his face. It felt like hours before Clint came out to cover him and he was finally able to go over to Tony. He took the seat across from him and smiled. “You know Pepper is going to kill me if I keep making you late for work all the time.”

“Fine. Then I’ll cut right to the chase.” Tony reached over and took Steve’s hand in his so their fingers interlocked. “I want to take you out tonight.”

Steve smiled wider and nodded his head. “I would love to. I’ll talk to Nat and see if she can watch Peter.” 

“Actually, I was hoping he could join us. I had fun at the park the other day and I really miss that little squirt.” 

Steve couldn’t believe Tony was actually asking for Steve to bring Peter along on purpose. Peter had been the reason their last few nights were ruined and yet he still wanted Peter around. He enjoyed spending time with him and when he wasn't around him, he  _ missed  _ him. 

The words slipped out before he could even think about them. It was just a reaction to someone loving his son so much. “I love you.”

Tony pulled back and his eyes widened at the admission. Steve realized what he said and cursed himself mentally. How could he be so stupid? They’ve been dating for less than a month and he already said  _ I love you.  _ Was he really  _ that  _ guy? 

Before Tony could freak out at him, Steve shoved his chair back and started to stand up. Tony reached forward immediately and grabbed his hand. “Oh, no. I’m not letting you run away again.” 

“Why not?” Steve asked, mortified.

“Because I love you too, doofus.” Tony stood up and used his other hand to pull Steve closer by his shirt. Steve was too shocked by the fact that  _ Tony loved him back  _ to move his lips when Tony started kissing him. Tony pulled back with a smile and winked. “I think we better get going back to work, but tonight, I’m taking you and Peter out for some fun.”

Steve stood there, watching him leave the cafe unable to truly comprehend what happened. He felt like he needed to pinch him to wake up. 

Steve told Tony he loved him...and Tony said it back.

Finally, God was giving him a break. He better thank Peter’s stars later that night as well. Because finally, things were looking up for him and Peter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (psst if you're closing a store and someone is banging and screaming for you to open the door, please don't open it up no matter how much money they offer you. get away from the door and windows and go to the back and call the police pls. I've had to do that before. just stay safe)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember when my chapters used to be like 4k words?

Fun for Tony was a bowling alley. No fancy menus or valet parking. Just a lot of people laughing and eating as they played. Steve was surprised but grateful that Tony was keeping Peter in the front of his mind as he picked this date out. 

Unfortunately, he had to still wear a cap and sunglasses to avoid being recognized, but the bowling alley was dark enough that maybe Steve could convince him to take them off once they were settled in their lane. Most people were too engrossed in their own games to notice anyone else anyway.

Peter was already going crazy before they even got their rental shoes. Steve had to pull him up in his arms to keep him from running off before they could follow him. He was bouncing in his arms as they walked to the empty lane with Elliot squeezed in his arms. 

“I’ve never been bowling before!” He said watching other people rolling their balls and knocking down pins.

“Then tonight is your night, kiddo,” Tony said, stopping at one of the lanes. There were two booths and a table where they could order food while they played. They sat down and Steve pulled Peter’s shoes off to change him into the small bowling shoes. He hid his sneakers underneath the booth so that Tony didn’t see them laying there and notice the hole in the left shoe. 

Peter stomped his feet around after Steve was finished. Steve laughed as he changed into his own pair. Then he stood up once he was finished and smiled over to Tony. “Fair warning, I haven’t been bowling in years. You’re probably going to kick my ass.” 

Tony grinned, walking closer just to be close to Steve. The action made the butterflies in Steve’s stomach go crazy. “Sorry, but only the squirt gets bumpers. You think you can handle the game without them?”

“I’m not  _ that  _ bad.” 

“I guess we’ll see then.” Tony leaned forward and pressed his lips to Steve’s and Steve smiled. God, he loved this. 

“Stop kissin’ and come play!” Peter called, jumping up and down by the computer at the ball return. 

Steve pecked Tony’s lips with an apologetic face before pulling away and walking over to Peter. “We gotta put our names in first,” Steve said as he typed their names into the computer. 

Peter tried to stand on his toes to look. “Can you put Ellie in there too?”

“You know, bud, I think Elliot would like to just watch us,” Steve said. He had thought that Peter wouldn’t want Elliot to ever leave the house again after the other night, but when Steve suggested leaving him behind that night, Peter had gotten close to another tantrum. He had never been so attached to Elliot before all of this and Steve had a feeling he knew exactly why Peter didn’t want to leave him behind. He’d left all of his other toys behind and he never saw them again. He didn't want the same thing to happen to Elliot. 

“Okay,” Peter said before sitting him on the table so he could watch them. 

Tony came back over while pushing a small ball ramp. “Got this for Peter so he can actually play.” 

Steve smiled at yet another moment of Tony caring so much for his son. “Thank you, Tony. You know, I’m sure if you ask nicely, he’ll let you borrow it for your turn.” 

“I can lift a bowling ball.” He flexed his arm and nodded his head. “Come feel this and let me know if you think I can hold that ball.”

Steve wasn’t going to pass that opportunity up. He reached over and squeezed Tony’s arms gently. “Oh, yeah, I think you’ll be able to handle it...what about me?” He flexed his own arm and watched as Tony practically drooled at the sight.  _ Thank you, Peter, for always having me carry you around everywhere.  _

When Tony gained control over his mouth again, he shut it and nodded his head. “Yeah, I think you’ll be fine.”

Steve winked at him before he turned around to follow Peter to the ball return where he was trying to pull out a ball. “Which one are you trying to get, bud?” He asked, ruffling his hair. 

“That one! The space one!” He pointed at one that wasn’t supposed to be space but could easily be mistaken for one by a toddler obsessed with stars. It was different shades of purple and blue with sparkles. He picked it up and felt that it was way too heavy for Peter. “Come on, Pete. I’ll help you roll it down.” 

Peter clapped his hands and followed Steve over to the ramp set up by the lane. He placed the ball at the top of the ramp and said, “Get ready to push it, Pete.” 

Peter ran to stand just in front of him and when he was putting his hands in position, Steve leaned over to level with Peter.  As he leaned down, he took his time, making a bigger show of it than usual. After he was leaning down, his ass sticking out more than he really needed to, he glanced over his shoulder at Tony, who was openly staring. 

“Papa! I’m ready!” 

Steve grinned before turning his attention back to Peter. He kept his body in the same position as he helped Peter push his ball down the ramp. The ball went rolling and it bounced off the bumper once before turning back to the pins. It took down four and Peter started jumping around, cheering. 

Steve gave him a high five and said, “You’ve got another chance, bud.” 

“Really?” Peter gasped. 

“Yup! Two tries. You stay here and I’ll get your ball.” 

“Where’d it go?” Peter asked, looking over by the pins. 

There was a sound over by the ball return and Steve pointed to it. “It’ll be here just about...now.” The ball came rolling out again and Steve walked over to get it.

“That’s just like magic!” Peter shouted with a laugh. 

Steve nodded his head but turned his attention back to Tony, who was still sitting and staring. He could have just lifted the ball up and walked over to Peter again, but he took his time leaning over yet again. He picked the ball up and walked to Peter, getting back into the same position. 

Peter shoved the ball harder this time, unaware of anything other than the game. It hit two more pins this time without touching the bumper and Peter celebrated again with a lot of jumping and shouting. “Did you see that, Papa?”

Steve stood up again and ruffled Peter’s hair. “I sure did, bear. You’re a natural.” he turned to Tony and grinned. “Your turn, Tony.” 

It took him a moment before he pushed himself up off the bench and Steve knew he wasn’t focused on the game at all. He continued to glance back at Steve as he went for his ball. He even stumbled into the ball return before he stopped turning back. 

Steve laughed and said, “You better focus, Tony, or you’ll go straight to the gutter.” 

Tony grabbed the first ball his hand touched and walked to the lane. He pulled his arm back and threw the ball with no grace or skill. The ball hit the wood with a loud bang and rolled into the gutter pathetically

“You sure you don’t need those bumpers?” Steve called out to him as he hurried to grab another random ball off the rack. “If you want, I can come over there and show you how to roll it right.” 

“No, thank you,” Tony said in a clipped tone as he pulled his arm back with actual skill this time. Steve couldn’t have that. 

“I love your form, Tony. Looking so good!” He said with just enough sultry in his voice to have Tony flub his throw and send the ball directly into the gutter again. 

Peter ran over to him and held out his hand for a high five. Tony tapped his palm to Peter’s, but he could see he was not as happy as Peter. “It’s okay, Mr. Tony! You’ll get better!” 

Steve stood up for his turn and walked over to the ball return to get a ball of his own. He picked a bright blue one at the front. Tony stayed where he was, glaring at Steve. He didn’t start to put his fingers into the holes until he was right in front of him. He kept his voice low both for effect and so Peter didn’t overhear. “These holes are pretty tight…” He looked down at the ball in his hand as he twisted and wiggled his fingers into the holes. “Wish I had something to lube them up so they could slide in easier.”

He looked up at Tony just as he was lifting his head back up. His eyes were wide and Steve should have felt a little bad for what he was doing to the poor man...but it wasn’t enough to make him stop. 

“What’s a’matter?” He gestured to the ball in his hand. “You don’t like blue balls?”

When Tony finally spoke, his voice cracked. “You’re doing this on purpose so I choke.” 

Steve put on his best innocent face and said, “I don’t want you to choke.” Then he smirked. “Not until later at least.” 

Tony sputtered for a few seconds until he was able to form comprehensible words. “This is cheating.”

Steve smiled his normal smile and pressed a chaste kiss to Tony’s lips. “All is fair in love and war.” Then he stepped away and bowled his ball, knocking all the pins down. 

Peter started cheering for him. “You got them all, Papa!” 

Steve grabbed his hands as he came over and started jumping up and down. “Sure did, bear. That’s called a strike.”

“I want a strike!” Peter exclaimed as Steve lifting him up in the air by his arms. He giggled as Steve spun him around. 

“I think we can try and get you one. As long as you stay focused. Don’t give in to the distractions.” Steve smirked over at Tony, who was still giving him a look. 

“You messed up _one_ turn of mine,” Tony said. “I can still come back. Easily.” 

“Sure, you will.” 

 

By the end of the game, Tony never came back. Steve didn’t need to play dirty past that one turn. Steve managed to get Tony so distracted that he wasn’t able to focus the rest of the game. He stopped getting gutter balls each roll, but once in awhile, he’d glance back at Steve before messing up. Steve didn’t think he was going to be this successful, but it kept him more entertained than the actual game itself. 

“I wanna play ‘gain!” Peter said once it was over. He came in second place, but losing didn’t change his spirits. Steve guessed that he would have been just as happy if hadn’t hit one pin. 

“We’ve gotta eat first, squirt,” Tony said. “Then maybe we can play another game. I need to teach your pops a lesson.” 

“Aw, don’t be a sore loser, Tony,” Steve teased as they sat down to eat. 

“It’s okay, Mr. Tony, you can borrow my ramp next game.” Peter smiled at him as Steve sat him down in the booth. 

“Gee, thanks, kiddo.” Tony picked up his menu and started looking through it. Changing the topic of conversation, he said, “Hope you boys are hungry. Get whatever you want. I’ve heard they have good food.” 

“Chicken!” Peter shouted, kneeling up and waving his fork in the air. 

Steve took the fork from his hand so he didn’t accidentally let it go and send it sailing through the air. “You always get chicken, buddy. Don’t you wanna switch it up?”

“Mac and cheese?” He asked, cocking his head to the side. 

“Quite the pallet you’ve got there, Pete,” Tony laughed. “But you know there’s more food than just chicken and mac and cheese.” 

Steve was looking at the kids’ menu himself to see anything else Peter would like. They usually had very minimum choices for kids: burger, pizza, chicken, and mac and cheese. “Want to try a burger, Peter? You can still have some mac and cheese for your side.”

Peter didn’t answer and Steve continued to read through the kids’ options. Tony chuckled softly and said, “I think he found something he likes, babe.” 

Steve looked up from the menu and saw Peter staring down at his with his mouth hanging open. He looked seconds away from drooling. “Whaddya see there, Pete?” He looked over Peter’s shoulder and saw that a picture of pizza covered in mac and cheese caught his eyes. 

Peter quickly turned the menu to Tony and said, “Mac and cheese on pizza!” 

“Oh, that does look good, munchkin.” Tony nodded his head in amusement. “As long as your pops says it’s okay, I don’t see why you can’t have that.” 

Peter faltered. “But it’s on the adult menu...and it’s lots of money.” 

“Hey, don’t worry about the money, kiddie,” Tony said immediately. “We can get you a personal sized. And whatever you don’t eat, you can bring home and put in the fridge for another day.” 

Peter turned to Steve with his best pair of puppy dog eyes. “Please can I have that, Papa? I’ll let you have a bite!” 

Steve knew the meal was nothing to Tony, even if it was more expensive than Steve and Peter's weekly allowance for meals before he got the job at the club. Tony had the money to spend and if he wanted to spend it on Peter so he could eat, Steve wouldn’t stop him. “Yeah, bud. You can get your pizza.”

Peter smiled and wrapped his arms around Steve in a tight hug. “Thank you, Papa!” 

Steve hated that his son thanked him for getting him food. “No problem, bud.” 

“What are you getting, Papa?” Tony asked, setting his menu down. “I think I’m gonna get this alfredo dish.”

“Um, I’ll get a burger,” Steve said, without looking through the options. 

“They have a steak on the menu,” Tony said. “I know they’re not known for that at a bowling alley, but it looks pretty decent.” 

_ Steak=expensive.  _ “I’m okay with the burger, but thank you.”

Tony sighed. “Okay, I’m not about to make you order something you don’t want, but I just want you to know that the option is there.”

“I appreciate it, Tony.” His eyes lingered on the steaks as he flipped through the menu, but when the waiter came around to take their order, he chose the cheeseburger. 

Peter was excited to give his own order to the man like a big boy. The waiter smiled at Peter and said, “You gonna fit that all in that belly of yours?” 

“Yes! Every bite!” Peter was still bouncing on his knees and Steve put a hand on his shoulder to try and settle him down. It didn’t work. 

“Wish my kids would try something new like that. All they eat are hot dogs and chicken shaped like dinosaurs.” The man said, writing Peter’s order down. 

“Don’t worry,” Steve assured him. “It’s usually like that in our house too. He’s being brave tonight.” 

“Well, if you don’t like it, kiddo, I’ll get you something else you’ll enjoy.” 

“Thank you,” Steve said. “I think he’ll love it by the way he was drooling over it.” He ruffled Peter’s hair before pulling him down to sit on his butt. Peter fell right into his side, clinging to his arm with a laugh. He’d been laughing so much lately. He was always giggling or smiling, save for a few occasions. It was so much different than just a few weeks ago. 

“Can you bring out a plate of mozzarella sticks as well?” Tony asked as he handed the menus back to the waiter. Steve doubted Tony Stark was craving them for himself. 

Once the waiter was gone, Peter tried to sit up again, but Steve held him back. He only struggled a second before staying put. “What’s a m...mutt’sella stick?” 

Tony laughed at his pronunciation. “A  _ mozzarella  _ stick. They’re deep fried sticks of cheese. You’ve never had one?” Peter shook his head. “Your world is going to be rocked, my little friend.” 

 

When the food came around, Peter was up on his knees again, watching each plate be set down to the table. It was like he had never seen food before. Even though there was some truth to that because the burger in front of Steve was the only familiar thing to him. 

Peter covered his mouth when the personal pizza was in front of him. “Oh, my stars, Papa! Look how good this looks!” 

Steve chuckled as he rubbed Peter’s back. “Let it cool down first, buddy.” 

Peter nodded his head and started looking at all of the other food. He pointed to the mozzarella sticks. “That’s cheese?”

“Breadcrumbs covering cheese. They’re delicious.” Tony plucked on off the plate and took a bite, pulling it away with his hand so a long stretch of cheese formed. 

Peter laughed at the sight of it getting longer and longer. “Mr. Tony, it’s gonna break!” 

Then Tony opened his mouth and lifted the cheese above it before slowly eating the entire stick. “You wanna try?”

Peter nodded and reached over to grab one for himself. He took a much less gentle bite than Tony and broke it off before he was able to stretch out the cheese. Still, he chewed and smiled, even if he didn’t have as much fun as Tony did with it. “So yummy!”

Steve shook his head fondly. “You’re gonna turn into cheese.” 

“Then I can eat myself!” Peter laughed, sticking the last of the stick in his mouth. 

Steve watched him eat in amusement and by the time Peter was done entertaining himself with the mozzarella sticks, his pizza was cooled down enough for him to eat it. Steve waited for him to take his first bite and moan at how good it was before he started eating his own meal. 

Their meal was quiet as they all ate. Peter sometimes told a story of school, most of Harry. He wasn’t going to finish the entire pizza, but he was definitely making a dent on it. Steve felt better knowing that he could bring home the slices he didn’t eat and save them for another night. 

When he started slowing down on his pizza, he glanced over at Tony’s plate and asked, “Are you having mac and cheese too?”

Tony finished chewing and swallowing the food in his mouth before he answered, “It’s a kind of mac and cheese, I guess. You wanna try some?”

Peter pulled his hands back and shook his head. “No, I don’t want to eat your food.” 

“Look how big this plate is, munchkin. I’m not gonna finish it all.” 

“You sure?” He asked hesitantly. 

“Positive,” Tony said, already lifting his plate up and spilling some onto Peter’s plate. “There’s some chicken in there too. You’ll like that.” 

Peter lifted up his fork and started digging into the pasta with much less grace than Tony was. “This s’good!” Peter said with a full mouth. 

“Want some more?” 

Peter didn’t hesitate this time before nodding his head and Tony gave him some more. 

“You don’t have to give him any more, Tony. He’s got his own food.”  _ Why was he feeding him? Was he judging Steve for not sharing a bite of his burger and fries?  _

“I’m not going to finish it,” Tony said again as he gave Peter some more. “And they’re just going to throw it out in the kitchen afterwards. Might as well have someone eat it so it doesn’t go to waste.” 

“What do you say, Pete?” He said to him in a low voice, even though Tony could hear. 

“Thank you, Mr. Tony!” Peter said before digging into that. 

And despite Tony’s claims that he wasn’t going to finish that food, Tony ordered a dessert platter when the waiter came back over. Steve gave him a look as Peter got excited at the idea of all the cookies that were on that plate. “Not gonna finish, huh?”

“There’s always room for dessert,” Tony said with a smile. “And I plan to start a game during dessert. Playing works up an appetite. Especially when I kick your butt.” 

“Aw, you think you’re gonna beat me,” Steve cooed. “How adorable.”

“No cheating this time,” Tony said, waving his finger. 

“I didn’t cheat. I used the resources available to me.”

Tony narrowed his eyes. “Fine, but if you use any of those resources again to try and mess me up, then I’ll use my own resources.” 

Steve raised his eyebrows. “Which are…?”

Tony leaned forward and whispered to him as he dragged a finger down his arm. “Sai, tesoro.

Steve’s face turned pale as he heard those words from his mouth. What he said, only God and the Italians knew. But Steve liked it. “Okay, okay. No cheating.” 

“Oh, ma perché? Posso farlo per tutta la notte.”

Steve bit his lip before saying, “Okay! I said okay. No cheating. Not in front of Peter.” He nodded his head to where Peter was almost finished licking the alfredo sauce off of the plate Tony had given him. The distraction wouldn’t last long and once it was gone, Peter would be back, plastered to his side. 

Tony grinned in victory. “Ha, I win.” 

“Just wait until we have round two. I’ll beat you again and wipe that smirk off your face.” 

Tony reached over, grabbed Steve by his collar and tugged him closer. “I know another way you can wipe the smirk off my face.” Then he pressed their lips together. Steve smiled. Yeah, this was much more fun than bowling. 

* * *

“You sure Peter doesn’t mind staying the night?” Tony asked as they walked into the elevator. 

Peter was tucked against Steve’s chest, sleepily sucking his thumb. One more game of bowling had turned into three and they only left when the manager had to come and tell them that they were closing up. Tony offered the tower for them to stay at since it was closer to the bowling alley and Steve really didn’t want to bring Peter home so late to Natasha’s and wake her up. And of course, Peter heard Tony’s offer and  _ begged  _ Steve to see where Tony lived. 

Now he seemed to be tuckered out, but Steve knew that was going to change the moment he saw Tony’s penthouse. 

“He’s got Elliot,” Steve said. “He can wear his clothes for two days in a row.”  _ He’s worn the same clothes for longer before.  _

“I’ve got a guest room he can sleep in,” Tony said as the elevator stopped at their floor. 

Steve kept his mouth shut even though his first reaction was:  _ he can sleep with me.  _ He remembered Natasha’s words. It wasn’t healthy. They had to have space from each other. “That sounds good.”  _ That sounds scary.  _

“Before bedtime, I think someone would love to meet Peter.” 

Steve felt Peter tense up in his arms and he rubbed his back soothingly. “It’s okay, baby,” he whispered as the doors opened and they stepped into the penthouse. 

Tony looked up to the ceiling and said, “Hey, J, it’s time for you to meet Peter.” 

_ “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Little Sir.”  _

Peter lifted himself from Steve’s chest and looked around the room with wide eyes. “Who said that?” 

“That’s my buddy JARVIS. He’s an AI that lives with me.” 

“AI?” Peter asked, his curiosity beating out both his exhaustion and fear. He still kept one hand fisted in Steve’s shirt. 

“Yeah. He’s a computer kinda,” Tony said, dumbing it down once again for someone that didn’t have his IQ. Steve didn’t want to think about how he dumbed it down to the same level for him as he did to a four-year-old. 

“Wha’s his name ‘gain?” Peter asked, less hesitant that he had been. 

“JARVIS,” Tony answered with a smile. 

Peter waved up at the ceiling with a grin. “Hi, Mr. JARVIS!” 

“JARVIS is always there if you need help with anything,” Tony told Peter as he ruffled his hair. “Isn’t that right, J?”

_ “You are correct, sir,”  _ came the voice and Peter giggled. 

Peter seemed much less concerned about the fact that there was basically a living computer watching their every move than Steve was. “You like him, Pete?”

“He calls me a funny name.” Peter went back to resting his head against Steve’s shoulder and stuck his thumb in his  mouth. He felt safe again. Steve smiled. 

“You are a little sir,” Tony said, walking over to the hallway that led to his bedroom. Steve knew that path by heart now. “A little sir that looks very sleepy.” 

“Jus’ a lil’,” Peter mumbled around his thumb. Steve knew it was more than just a little by the way he was slurring his words. 

“Then how about your pops gets you ready for bed.” He stopped in front of a door that a few doors down from Tony’s room. He opened it up and Steve stepped inside. It was huge but didn’t have anything too fancy. Nothing for Peter to get himself into. “Goodnight, squirt.” 

When Tony came over to him, Peter reached out and wrapped his arms around him. Steve kept a secure hold on him so he didn’t fall. “Night, Mr. Tony!” He said happily before pressing a loud kiss to Tony’s cheek. 

Tony looked surprised at first but then smiled softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow, kiddo.” He straightened up and pressed a kiss of his own to Steve’s cheek. “And I’ll see you when you’re finished putting him to sleep.” 

Tony walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Steve paused, staring at the shut door. Tony wanted him to follow him out. He wanted him to leave Peter in here all alone. Steve didn’t want to, but he had to. It was only a few doors down. Peter needed to learn. Steve needed to learn. 

“Papa, I don’t have my toothbrush or PJs,” Peter said as Steve lowered him to the ground. 

_ “There are extra toothbrushes and toothpaste in the guest bathroom,”  _ JARVIS supplied helpfully, making Steve jump. 

“Thank you, Mr. JARVIS!” Peter took Steve’s hand, ready for him to bring him to the bathroom.

Steve started leading him to the connecting door where the bathroom was. “And for your PJs, you’ll have to sleep in your shirt. You can take off your jeans and some other layers off though.”

Peter nodded his head as he already started pulling all of his clothes off and dropping them to the floor, save for his underwear and t-shirt.

“Already making a mess?” Steve smiled as he picked up the clothes he discarded around him. He put them on the counter before lifting Peter up and sitting him on the edge. Peter smiled with his eyes squeezed his eyes shut and his teeth bared. Steve took a toothbrush and toothpaste from the cabinet before he put a little on for him. Then he started to brush his teeth as Peter sat still for him. 

After he finished, Peter leaped back into his arms and nestled up to him. Steve carried him back into the room and lowered him to the bed. Here came the hard part: leaving him here alone. 

Steve tucked Peter into bed, taking his time so he didn’t have to leave so soon. Peter was staring up at him in confusion when he realized that Steve wasn’t getting into bed with him. “Papa, come snuggle.” 

“I’m sleeping with Tony tonight, bear,” Steve said, avoiding looking at him because he knew he’d be staring up at him with big puppy eyes. “You have to sleep on your own. So do I.” 

“But you’re not alone! You have Mr. Tony!” Peter shoved the blanket off of him after Steve had finished tucking him in. 

Steve hushed him gently. “Peter, no tantrums. We’re guests here. You have to learn to sleep by yourself. Remember before all of this? You had your own bedroom.”

Peter was getting worked up already. “I-I don’t want that.” 

Steve wanted to cave in and crawl into bed next to him, but he couldn’t or else they would never get past this. “You’re going to be okay. I promise. And JARVIS can hear you, if you need help, he’ll call me in.” 

Peter grabbed onto his hand, sniffling. “Papa, don’t leave me.” 

Steve squeezed his hand gently and rubbed the top of his head. “You’re going to be okay, baby. Don’t cry. You’ve got Eliot to cuddle with and you know what else? Here.” Steve stood up and pulled off the sweatshirt he was wearing. Then he slipped it over Peter and he smiled at much it engulfed him. It fit him like an XXXL dress. And only his little head was peeking out of the top. 

Peter curled up in and then looked up at him with a small voice. “Smells like you.” 

Steve’s smile softened. “Yeah, bud...so you can close your eyes and cuddle and pretend like I’m right there with you.”

“But I need the thump thump,” Peter whined, reading his arm out with the sleeve going well past his fingers. 

“You’ll be okay, sweetie,” Steve promised. Natasha was right; if Peter never learned to sleep alone, he was going to be sleeping with him for years to come. He laid Peter back down and set Elliot back in his arms before tucking him in again. He pressed a kiss to the top of his head. 

Peter looked up at him with watery eyes as Steve stood up straight. He didn’t move to get out of bed this time. Steve kept the smile on his face so Peter would calm down. “Close your eyes and you’ll be asleep soon. I promise.” 

Peter didn’t even blink as Steve started to walk out of the room. He snuggled Elliot close to his chest as he laid there. Steve blew him one last kiss and said, “Goodnight, baby. I love you so much.” 

Steve quickly shut the door after him so he could let his facade down without Peter noticing. He leaned against the door, breathing heavy. He wanted to shove the door back open and run right back to Peter. But he had to be strong. 

He stayed there for a few moments before taking a deep breath and walking down the hall back to Tony’s room. He stepped inside and Tony was already in bed, scrolling through his tablet. When Steve came in, he put it to the dresser next to him and smiled. “He okay?”

Steve nodded his head. “I laid him down… I just hope he falls to sleep.” 

Tony frowned. “I can get him a glass of milk or something if he can’t sleep.” 

Steve sighed as he stripped out of his clothes until he was in his t-shirt and boxers, just like Peter had been. He crawled into bed next to Tony and immediately attached himself to his side. “Nothing will help...he’ll just have to cry himself to sleep.” 

Tony tensed next to him. “He’s crying?”

“Oh, no, it’s just something Nat and I were talking about. He’s got to learn to get some sleep without his Papa holding him. I just didn’t think it would be just as hard for me.” 

Tony wrapped his arms around Steve and intertwined their legs together. “You’re both gonna be okay, amore. He’s got Ellie and you’ve got me.” 

Steve tried to let his eyes shut and focus on being in Tony’s arms, but he couldn’t help but think about how Peter was all alone in that big bedroom without someone to hold him. It wasn’t fair. 

“You’re thinking too much,” Tony whispered, kissing him again. “Just close your eyes and let yourself relax.” 

Steve nodded his head even though he had no intention of calming down. Maybe Tony could fall asleep and then Steve could slip out and go see Peter. He could just stick a pillow in Tony’s arms so he wouldn’t know in his sleep that Steve left. 

He was in the middle of thinking of other ways to sneak out when he heard the bedroom door creak open. Steve’s eyes shot back open when he saw the light from the hallway start to leak into the room. 

The door stopped opening and then there was a soft set of feet walking closer to the bed. Steve knew who it was before he heard the quiet, “Papa…”

Tony let go of Steve so he could sit up and look down at where Peter was standing. He had his arms wrapped around Elliot and he was still wearing Steve’s sweatshirt. It looked even bigger on him now than it did when he was in bed. Steve wondered how many times he tripped on his way here. 

“You okay, munchkin?” Tony asked, sounding concerned and not at all annoyed that Peter was interrupting their sleep. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, sounding like there were some tears in his voice. “I don’t like the dark…”

“Did you ask JARVIS to turn the lights on for you?”

Peter started to chew on his finger through the sleeve anxiously as he nodded his head. “Uh-huh. Then I asked where Papa was.” 

“Baby, do you want me to carry you back in? We’ll keep a light on and I’ll sing you a song to help you sleep.” 

Peter shrugged his shoulders as he started to suck on the finger he was gnawing on. 

Tony asked him. “Would you like to sleep with us tonight, Peter?”

Peter’s face immediately brightened at the suggestion. “Can I?”

It took Steve a second to realize he was asking him. He knew he should say no, but he wanted to say yes so bad. But if Tony was okay with it… “Sure, bud.”

Peter immediately came rushing forward so fast that he tripped and caught himself on the end of the bed. He giggled and threw Elliot up on the mattress before grabbing onto the blankets and attempting to pull himself up. It took him a few tries, but it was too endearing for Steve to go over and help him. When he was finally up on the mattress, he grabbed Elliot and started to crawl up to them. 

Tony laughed at how much he was still tripping over the sleeves. “I think you need a smaller size there, squirt.” 

“This is Papa’s,” he said once he was finally between them. He didn’t wait for them to move before he was squirming his way between them. Steve went to give Tony an apologetic grimace, but Tony was too busy smiling at Peter to notice it. 

“It looks like Papa’s size, alright.” Tony laughed, pulling away the blanket so Peter could settle in. 

“He let me borrow it. It makes me feel safe.” 

Tony paused as if he was thinking about his next words carefully. “You know...you’re always safe here, right? Even if Papa isn’t right there, you are safe. I promise you.”

“I know...i just get scared a lot...I know I’m a baby.” 

Steve was about to cut in and assure Peter he wasn’t a baby, but Tony beat him to it. “There’s nothing wrong with going to your Papa for help when you’re scared. I know you’re super brave, but sometimes we all get a little scared.”

Peter’s eyes widened. “Even you?”

Tony chuckled softly. “Yeah, kiddo. Even me.” He smoothed out Peter’s hair and said, “So, you can spend the night here. But maybe tomorrow you try to sleep all by yourself? You show me how brave you are.”

“What if I can’t be brave?” Peter asked in a low voice. 

“Then we can take little steps. We’ll figure it out. Together” Tony was reassuring Peter, but it was doing the same for Steve and his own fears of not being brave enough. 

Peter got more comfortable as he sat there. “My Papa says that a lot. Together we are okay,” he said, as if Steve wasn’t sitting right there. 

“Your Papa is a very smart man,” Tony said, looking over him to wink at Steve. Steve couldn’t help but smile back. 

“You not mad?” Peter asked hesitantly and his fingers that were still covered by the sleeve inched back to his mouth. Steve pulled them away before he could start sucking on them again. Another habit he had to break. 

“Not mad,” Tony confirmed. “You try your best and there’s no reason for me to be mad.” 

Peter’s fingers wrapped around Steve’s and he whispered to Tony, “Thank you.” 

“No problem, kiddo.” Tony gave him a smile. “Now why don’t you lay down and get some rest? You look  _ really  _ sleepy.” 

Peter nodded his head and laid down, turning his back to Tony so he could curl against Steve’s chest. Steve sighed softly and kissed the top of Peter’s head. He had no idea how he was ever going to get Peter to spend the night in a room alone. 

Before long, Peter was sound asleep in his arms. Steve was surprised he’d even managed to stay up this late. Steve looked over to see Tony watching him silently with his eyes almost shut. Steve lifted one arm over Peter to reach for his hand and Tony took it. “I’m sorry about this…” 

“I thought you were joking about the fact that he couldn’t sleep without you,” Tony said with no telling emotion to his voice. 

Steve shook his head. “I really am sorry, Tony,” he whispered. “I tried but I just don’t know what to do.” 

“He’s got to feel safe,” Tony said. “Somewhere he feels like he doesn’t need you to hold him throughout the night.” 

Steve took safety away from him. He didn’t even have stability. It was Steve’s fault more so for telling Peter that he was safe. He somehow brainwashed him to thinking anywhere without him wasn’t safe. 

“Don’t overthink this so much,” Tony whispered. “We’ll figure it out. Later. After you’ve got a good night of rest.” 

“You don’t mind him sleeping here? Are you sure? He leeches onto anything he can when he’s sleeping,” Steve warned. 

Tony looked at Peter with a fond expression. “He seems to have a tight hold on you, but even if he makes his way over here, I promise I’m okay with it.” 

Steve rested his head on the pillow as Tony shut his eyes. He listened to Peter’s soft snore and waited for Tony’s breathing to even out before he finally let his own eyes close. With Peter in his arms and one hand holding Tony’s, for once, everything felt right. 

* * *

Steve was always an early riser. When Peter was a baby, he liked to wake up before the sun was up for his morning bottle and Steve didn’t mind scooping him up and feeding him so his wife could get a few extra hours of sleep. As he grew older, Peter slept in later and later. Now he could probably sleep until noon if he was allowed. Steve still woke up, started his day and made breakfast for Peter. 

Lately, breakfast had been cereal in a bowl or food from the cafe. Peter deserved better. 

So, when he woke up that morning and saw Tony and Peter still sound asleep next to him, he got out of bed carefully enough not to wake either of them up. He rolled Peter over so he was pressed against Tony’s chest.

He waited until he was out of the bedroom before turning up to the ceiling. He cleared his throat and asked, “Uh, JARVIS, is there food in the kitchen for me to make breakfast with?”

_ “Of course, Captain.”  _

Great, he still remembered that. “And I can use it to make breakfast for Tony and Peter, right?”

_ “If you would like to, but usually, Mr. Stark goes out to eat. I can order in from any place you’d like,”  _ JARVIS offered. 

°“Don’t worry about it.” Steve smiled as he walked into the kitchen. “I’ve got this covered.” 

The kitchen was larger than anything he’d ever seen. It was probably bigger than half of the kitchens in NYC restaurants. He went to the fridge and opened it up to see an overwhelming amount of food. Or maybe it was normal and Steve just wasn’t used to a full fridge. 

He pulled out a carton of eggs because those couldn’t be hard to handle. Then he shut the fridge and asked, “Uh, JARVIS sir, does Tony have any pancake mix?”

“Third cabinet from the stove, Captain.” 

Steve followed the instructions and pulled out the large box of pancake mix that had never been opened. Pancakes and eggs. He could do this. He wasn’t that rusty at cooking and there were instructions on the box. 

With JARVIS’s help, he gathered the utensils he’d need and started on the batter. It wasn’t hard to fall into a steady rhythm of cooking and humming along to the soft jazz music JARVIS has started playing for him softly. 

He was in the middle of flipping a batch of pancakes when he heard a little pair of feet against the tile followed by an “oof”. Steve turned around with a smile, his eyes already looking on the floor for where sure enough, Peter was laying on his stomach. He pushed himself up a few seconds later, still not being careful about the sweatshirt pooling at his feet. 

“Don’t you think it’s time to take that off?” Steve asked, glancing back at the griddle to flip the pancakes before they burned. 

“But I’m just like you, Papa!” He giggled before coming over to him, stepping on his foot and wrapping both arms around his leg. 

“You sure are, bear.” Steve lowered a hand to ruffle his already crazy bedhead. He looked back to where Tony was walking over to them. He had a sweatshirt on as well, even though the temperature the tower was warm enough to forget it was 30° outside. He looked pale as he followed Peter into the room. 

“Guess what, Papa! Guess what!” Peter squealed loudly, bouncing on Steve’s foot. Even though it wasn’t the most pleasant feeling, Steve didn’t push him off. He knew there’d be a day when Peter would be too big to do this...might as well enjoy it while he could. 

Before Steve could respond, Tony rushed forwards with wide eyes. He didn’t say anything, but he was staring down at Peter looking even more anxious. 

“You okay?” Steve asked him, concerned. There was something off about the morning. Peter was never this awake before noon and Tony looked like he had seen a ghost. “Is everyone okay…?” 

“I’m ‘kay! But guess what Mr. Tony has!” 

“Peter--,” Tony started to say before Peter cut him off. 

“He has candy! He says I can have some for breakfast!” 

Steve smirked. That’s why Peter was so hyped up and Tony was nervous: he promised Peter candy. 

“Okay, hold on there, kid. I said  _ after  _ breakfast.” 

Steve shook his head as he laughed. “No candy until you finish your eggs and pancakes. Deal?”

Peter pretended to think about it before nodding his head firmly. “Deal, Papa.” 

“Alright, why don’t you ask Tony to help you set the table and then breakfast will be ready.” Steve ruffled his hair before Peter jumped off his foot, happy to help. 

Tony looked less nervous as Peter ran up to him, asking for help getting the dishes down. He only hesitated a moment before going over to the cabinets and pulling down the necessary dining ware. Steve smiled as he watched him hand off a cup to Peter and Peter held it with two hands, walking over to the table to carefully place it on the edge. Then he climbed up the chair and kneeled on the cushion and took the cup in his hands again before placing it in the right spot. 

As they continued this, Steve turned back to the pancakes and then started making the eggs. It would only be a few more minutes, but he had enough time because of the speed that Peter was working in. When Tony tried helping him out by carrying some dishes to the table, Peter let out a squeal. “No! I do!” 

Steve knew Peter didn’t mean to make a noise that could pierce through anyone’s eardrums; he was little and when he had an emotion, he let it show. He was too little to control it, but he could try. 

“Peter,” Steve said with a wince. “Inside voice.” 

His voice was much quieter this time as he said, “Sorry, Papa.” 

“I bet he could work better than a dog whistle,” Tony commented. 

Steve didn’t even turn around from where he was frying the eggs. “Don’t encourage him.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

 

Once they had the table all set, Steve was just finishing up the eggs. He put them into a bowl Tony took out for him and carried it over, along with the stack of pancakes. He set them both on the table and took his seat that Peter had set up for him. He noticed that Tony was across from him, too far to even play footsie with under the table. 

Peter was a smart kid and noticed Steve’s staring. “He’s over there so you don’t start kissin’ him ‘gain.” 

Steve couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh, really? No kissing at the table?”

Peter shook his head. “Nope!”

“Then I guess I’ll have to get rid of all these kisses I have saved for my baby bear…”

Peter immediately perked up, straightening his legs as he kneeled higher. “You have kisses for me?”

“‘Course,” Steve replied, pretending to be heartbroken. “But if there’s no kissing allowed, then I can’t give them to you.”

“That’s allowed! Baby bear kisses are allowed!” Peter leaned forward, pucking his lips for Steve. 

Steve smiled softly as he leaned over and pressed a kiss to his nose. While he was there, he reached over and took Peter’s arm in his hands and rolled up the sleeves of his sweatshirt as far as he could go. He did the same for the other arm and leaned back to his own chair. “I was starting to think you didn’t have hands under there.” 

Peter giggled, bouncing on his knees. 

“You know that was only for last night when you were sleeping alone. I’m going to need my sweatshirt back,” Steve said, raising his eyebrows. It wasn’t true though. If Peter wanted that sweatshirt, he’d give it to him in a heartbeat. 

Peter wrapped his arms around his chest, snuggling his fast against the fabric. “But I love this!” 

“We’ll talk about it after you eat,” Steve said, shaking his head. He took a scoopful of eggs and dropped it on Peter’s plate, followed by three pancakes. 

Peter immediately started to dig into his food happily. 

Steve watched him eat for a few seconds before turning to Tony and saying, “Push over your plate and I’ll give you some food.” 

Tony was too busy staring at him with a dopey looking grin to respond. 

Steve furrowed his brow and tried to get his attention again. “Earth to Tony. Woohoo, Mr. Stark,” he sang as he tapped the tabletop. 

When Tony finally straightened up and wiped the look off his face, the words he said were not what Steve expected at all. “Move in with me.”

Steve blinked his eyes. “I’m sorry,  _ what?” _

“I mean, it doesn’t have to be a full move. You don’t have to sell your apartment if you don’t want to but...I want you to have things here. I want this to be your home too,” Tony said, looking eager. 

Steve didn’t know what to say. He was sure he’d been hearing things when Tony asked him that. It was ridiculous for Tony to ask that. Why should he open his home to two people he had only known for a few weeks? (Nat and Tony were  _ insane).  _

Sensing his hesitation, Tony continued, “I just...I’ve been thinking a lot and I had a lot of fun last night. You, me, and Peter...it felt right.”

“Even when he came crawling into your bed?” That had to be a dealbreaker. People didn't like their partner’s kid just climbing into bed with them and ruining any chance for anything to happen. They got annoyed by how clingy the kid could be. No one wanted to date someone with a kid. 

So why was Tony so different?”

“Especially when he crawled into bed,” Tony said, glancing over to Peter. He was still eating his breakfast, unaware of the conversation going on at the table. “I liked being with both of you. Dating you includes Peter and I know that. I’m okay with that. I don’t want you to feel like you have to keep him away. Hell, I don’t want you to do that. I want to spend time with him.”

“It was only one night,” Steve said because he felt like he had to warn him. “It’ll get to be too much. He’s not always so cute. He gets cranky. He whines. He has tantrums. It’s not always perfect.”  _ I’m never perfect.  _

“He’s a toddler, Steve. Of course, he’s going to have his moments. But I want to be there for those moments too. I want to be by your side through it all. I don’t want to have to say goodbye to you guys at the end of every night.” 

When he said these words, he seemed 100% genuine. Steve couldn’t understand it. “What if you get sick of us?”

“I won’t.” He gestured to the two of them. “How could I ever get sick of waking up to this?”

Steve nodded his head slowly and Tony’s face broke out into a grin. “I would like to wake up to you too. Having some stuff here would come in handy.” He chuckled as he gestured to himself in only his boxers and t-shirt. “But I don’t have a whole lot of stuff. Our apartment is small and I’m not sure I want to move everything out of it just yet. I don’t want to confuse Peter.” 

Having a toddler was great because making up excuses for things like only having enough stuff to fit in the backpack they lived out of was much easier. 

“You don’t have to take anything from your place yet if you don’t want to,” Tony said. “I’ll get you both stuff to keep here. We can go to the mall today after breakfast.”

Steve should have said no immediately. He should have snapped at Tony for even offering it. He wasn’t his charity case. But then he thought of the drawer at Nat’s place. He thought about how Peter had only two piles of clothes and a pair of shoes with holes. If someone was offering to buy his son new clothes that could keep him warm, how was he supposed to say no? 

“I can’t accept something like that,” Steve said, knowing the reaction it would get out of Tony. 

“Steve, please. I have  _ billions.  _ I can’t take the money with me when I die. I want to spend it when I’m alive on the people I love. Please let me do this.” 

Steve smiled when he mentioned the l-word. He would never get tired of hearing Tony Stark say he loved him. Maybe that’s another reason why he caved so easily. He was in love. “Okay. Yeah, we’ll move in and we can go to the mall after breakfast. Thank you, Tony. Thank you.”

Tony reached his hand across the table and spread his fingers as far as they would reach. Steve did the same until their fingers could just barely brush against each other. He knew at that moment he made the right choice because if there was even a chance to wake up and have this every morning...he was taking it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, writing the beginning of this chapter: steve, you sly dog you
> 
> but for everyone commenting about waiting for a uh sex scene...that scene with the bowling is probably as dirty as this fic will get. so sorry. if/when the do is done, it'll be implied. Nothing graphic.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this update is late. Some stuff came up and writing fic wasn't exactly my priority. I hope to get back on schedule by Monday, but I can't promise anything. After Monday, I'll be back on track though.

Upon entering the mall, Steve felt his anxiety grow. There were a lot of people here. There was Christmas music playing over the loudspeakers that he could barely hear over all of the hustle and bustle of shoppers. Children were running around everywhere and some didn’t have their parents right behind them either. Dangerous. 

Steve had seen the shows and heard the news. Children always went missing in malls like this, especially around Christmas. Peter wasn’t going to be one of them. He grabbed his hand tightly as they walked.  

Peter held on even when he wanted to run ahead to see something that had caught his eyes. Sometimes he yanked so hard Steve was stumbling over his feet. “Peter,” he said in warning, “I’m going to have to pick you up if you don’t stop.” 

While Peter usually jumped at the chance to be held, now he shook his head. “No!” 

“Then stay close to Tony and me, please.” 

Tony chuckled as they continued. “You need one of those children leashes.”

“He’s not a dog,” Steve said with a smile. “I’m not putting him on a leash.” 

Of course, Peter tugged again. “Papa, look at that!” 

Steve followed where his finger was pointing and saw one store had an inflatable Santa Claus in their window. Steve was glad after everything that had happened, he still got excited for Christmas. Every kid deserved a little bit of magic in their life. “That’s super cool, Petey!” 

Peter started bouncing up and down as he walked. “I just  _ love  _ Christmas!” 

“Oh, yeah?” Tony asked. “Did you put your tree up at home yet?”

Steve’s eyes widened as he stared down at Peter. Not only because he could easily spill everything, but because he had completely forgotten about putting up a tree. Sure, Natasha had decorations around, but there really wasn’t room for a tree even if she had one. 

Peter deflated as he answered. “Not yet.” 

Tony didn’t seem to notice anything wrong with this. His smile never faltered. “Well, that’s alright. I’ve been hogging your dad lately so I don’t think he’s had time yet. Maybe one day you can help me set up my tree.”

Like a switch was flipped, Peter was happy again. “Really?”

“Of course! While we’re out today, we’ll pick out some cool ornaments. I only have boring glass balls.” 

Peter giggled, taking a step back to grab Tony’s hand as he walked. Tony’s eyes went wide when he did so. “You need popcorn too! In the tree!” 

Steve smiled down at Peter, one hand holding his and the other hand holding Tony’s.

“Well, then we’ll have to stock up on popcorn too.” Tony waited for Peter to turn his attention back to the decorations around them before glancing over at Steve with a grin on his face. 

Steve wished his eyes weren’t covered with his sunglasses, but if that’s what he had to do to go out in public with them peacefully, Steve would just have to get used to it. They always came off the moment they were alone, so Steve couldn’t complain too much. Not when he had that to look forward to. 

 

Just like Central Park, it took longer than Tony probably planned to get to their endpoint because of how easily Peter got distracted. Except for this time, it wasn’t puppies distracting him, it was all of the Christmas decorations. 

It got even worse once they were in the department store and the music was louder and the decorations were crazier. Tony had a handle on it though. “Hey, Pete, maybe one day this week, we can drive around and look at Christmas lights, but how about we get our clothes and then maybe go out for lunch?” 

“Okay!” Peter said, jumping up and down. He stopped stopping at every new decoration and continued to skip between Tony and Steve, singing along to the Christmas carols playing as if no one else was listening. Some people passed by and looked at him with a smile, some gave him weird looks. Peter paid none of them any mind. 

“Alright,” Tony said when they got to the children’s department. “We need a few outfits. Shirts, pants, pajamas.” 

“You don’t have to buy him a whole new wardrobe,” Steve said. Maybe Tony had noticed that they both recycled through the same four shirts. 

“I know I don’t, but I want to. I already see so many cute shirts that Peter  _ needs.”  _ Tony didn’t wait another moment before hurrying into the racks of clothing. As he searched through some shirts, he looked over at Peter and Steve. “You two start looking. Cover more ground with three people.” 

“I’ll follow you, Pete,” Steve said, coming to terms with the fact that he wasn’t going to be able to convince Tony not to spoil Peter. 

Peter let go of Steve’s hand to run into the racks, but Steve kept right behind him. Peter was too short to see the shirts properly though, so Steve came over and lifted him up. His eyes were checking out every single one he saw. “Can I pick out any of them, Papa?” He whispered. 

“Yeah, baby,” Steve answered, pressing his lips to his temple. “Anything you want.” 

Peter was so overwhelmed that he couldn’t even make one choice. Steve picked a few shirts he thought Peter would like and Peter always nodded excitedly. Peter didn’t pick out one of his own until he saw one with stars all over it. The tag said it was glow in the dark. Peter made grabby fingers and grunted until Steve took his size off the rack. 

“You like this one?” He asked Peter in amusement. 

Peter smiled wide, nodding his head before grabbing it from Steve’s hand. He hugged it close against his chest as if someone were going to take it away. “We can get it?” His eyes were big and pleading. 

For once, Steve was finally able to say, “Yeah, sweetie, we can get it.” 

Peter’s smile got even bigger and he wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck. “You’re the best Papa in the world!” 

Steve placed his hand on Peter’s back to keep him close just for a few seconds. “And you’re the best baby boy in the world.” 

 

They continued to sift through clothes, but his pile was starting to get big and Peter still only wanted that star shirt. While they started looking through some pants to wear, Steve said, “Hey, bud…” 

Peter had his head resting on Steve’s shoulder as he sucked his thumb. “Hi, Papa.” 

“I wanted to ask you a question. See what you think.” He paused, unsure if Peter was going to even understand. “Tony asked me if we wanted to move in with him. Not all the time if we don’t want. We can still stay with Nat, but--.” 

“We’d live in that big tower?” Peter asked with wide eyes as he shot up off of Steve’s chest. 

“Yeah, bud. We would. You’d get your own room again.”

“Does that mean our ‘venture is over? We found our home?” Peter asked, sounding almost excited. 

No matter how serious Steve thought it was, he couldn’t guarantee anything to Peter. “I don’t know, baby...I hope. I really do. But I don’t want to make a promise I can’t keep.” Steve gave him a small smile. 

“But it’s a maybe?”

“Yeah, bud. Maybe.” 

“I think that’s fun,” Peter started, but then he gasped and his eyes filled with tears. “But...what about Nat? We will ever see her ‘gain?”

Steve nodded his head immediately. “Yes, baby. Of course, we will. You’ll see her at the cafe and we can still have sleepovers if she’d let us. And for the nights when Tony and I are on a date, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind babysitting you.” 

Peter’s shoulder sagged and he let out a big breath of relief. “Good ‘cus I’d miss her so much.” 

“She’d miss you too,” Steve said as Peter settled back against his chest. “But you’re okay with moving in with Tony?”

He felt Peter nod his head. “I’m okay.” 

Steve smiled, feeling relieved. If Peter’s answer was no, he would have gone to Tony and changed his mind. He was so glad Peter said it was okay. 

As if he heard someone talking about him, Tony came hurrying over with a pile twice the size of theirs. He grinned at them and asked, “Are we ready to try some of these bad boys on?”

Peter replied without answering the question. “Look at my shirt, Mr. Tony!” He held out his hand and showed Tony the now wrinkled star shirt. 

Tony made eyes go wide. “Woah. That is the coolest shirt I’ve ever seen, dude.” 

Peter kicked his legs happily. “Thank you! It says it glows!” 

Tony looked impressed that Peter could read the tag. “It sure does! I think I’ve got some cool shirts you’ll like too. Wanna see them?”

“Uh-huh!” 

Tony smiled and gestured to the wall that said ‘fitting room’. “Let’s have a little fashion show then.” 

Steve followed him over and they found an empty room in the back. Tony put his pile down on the bench and then Steve did the same. There were dozens of clothes in the pile. “Do I have to try on  _ all  _ of them?” Peter whined. 

Steve wanted to tell him to stop whining and just be grateful he could have all of those clothes. He’d go from none to closets full. 

“No, kiddie,” Tony laughed. “You can just try on one of the sizes to see which one fits best and then we’ll pick out which ones you like.”

“Can I try on my space shirt?” He asked, brightening up. 

“‘Course you can.” 

Steve lowered Peter to the ground and he started to pull off his shirt the moment his feet were on the ground. Steve hoped Tony didn’t notice the way Peter’s ribs stuck out just slightly. He was getting heavier ever since they moved in with Nat, but it was still nowhere near healthy. 

Steve took his shirt when it was off and before he could even help him, he was pulling on the star shirt. Thankfully, it fit him perfectly. Steve couldn’t take the tantrum that would have come if it didn’t (even though they could have gone back to the rack and gotten another size). 

“Looks good!” Tony said. “What size is that?”

Steve checked the tag before telling him, “A 3T.”

“Small for his age, huh?” Tony chuckled as he starting going through his pile. He didn’t look like he saw anything wrong with that. 

“Gets it from his father,” Steve said. 

Tony looked up from the clothes.  _ “You?” _

Steve nodded his head, chuckling. “Yeah. I was the tiniest kid you could imagine. Wasn’t until the summer before senior year when I started to fill out.” 

“Late bloomer?” Tony asked, laughing. 

Steve narrowed his eyes. “Laugh it up. You should have seen everyone’s faces at school when I came in that first day. All the girls that didn’t know I existed were begging for the new guy’s number.” 

“New guy?” Tony asked, still laughing. 

Steve shrugged his shoulders. “It was a very dramatic change.” 

Tony shook his head as his laughter quieted down. “I’ll bet.” He handed him a pair of jeans. “Here are the 3Ts. I grabbed mostly 4T, so we’ll have to exchange them when we go back out.” 

Peter wrapped his arms around himself. “Can I keep my shirt?” 

“Yeah, bud, but you’re gonna have to take it off so we can buy it.” Peter pouted at Steve’s answer. “Stop that. You’ll get it back when we get back to Tony’s. Now come on. Time for the pants.” 

Peter didn’t move his arms from around himself so Steve groaned and started to pull his pants down. It took one tug before they were around his ankles. Steve lifted him up and they fell to the ground. 

“You gotta help me here, Pete,” Steve said. “You don’t have to take it off yet. Just try these on.” 

Reluctantly, Peter let go of his shirt and took the pants from Steve’s hand. He pulled them up and let go when they were around his waist. They promptly fell back down to his ankles. Peter looked down. “Uh oh.” 

Steve hurried to pull them back up. He couldn’t be that underweight. He checked the jeans for any elastic to make it smaller around the waist. There was nothing. 

“Did I give you the wrong size?” Tony asked, sounding confused. 

“Uh...no. I just think he may be a 2T in pants.” Steve couldn’t turn around to face Tony. Peter might have been giggling as he let his pants fall down again and again, but Steve was mortified. 

“Oh,” Tony said as if it were no big deal that a 4-year-old could fit in clothes meant for a 2-year-old. “Well, I can run out and get him that size.” He was already going through the clothes around him and pulling out all of the pants. He stood up and smiled as he walked past them, ruffling Peter’s hair as he went. “I’ll be right back.” 

Once Tony was out of the room, Steve sighed and rubbed Peter’s belly. “We need to work on this, buddy.”

“Sorry, Papa,” Peter said, deflating. 

“Oh, no, baby,” he said, immediately feeling horrible. “It’s not your fault. It’s my fault. I should be sorry.” Steve pulled him in for a hug, rubbing his back. “None of this is your fault.” 

Peter stayed there for a few minutes before he asked quietly. “Hey, Papa, can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course, bud,” Steve answered, his heart already racing. What secret could Peter be hiding? Was he sick or hurt?

“You can’t tell anyone I told you,” he said seriously. “‘Specially Mr. Tony.” 

“Okay….”

Peter pulled himself back to look into Steve’s eyes and he lowered his voice. “He has a star.”

Steve furrowed his brow. “He what?”

“Mr. Tony has a star!” He repeated, his voice full of fascination as he pressed his hand against Steve’s chest. “Right here.” 

“He has a star on his chest?” Steve asked incredulously. Did he have a tattoo? Is that why he never took his shirt off?

“No. The star is  _ in  _ him.” 

Steve blinked, unable to believe a word Peter was telling him. “A star in--.” He started to question before the door opened and Peter was covering steve’s mouth with his hands. 

“Alrighty,” Tony said, walking in. “Got us some new pants. Hopefully, they fit. I didn’t see any half sizes.” 

Steve found his eyes going right to Tony’s chest even though he couldn’t see anything through the shirt he was wearing. How was there a star  _ in  _ his chest? And how did Peter know it was there? 

“Steve?”

Steve’s eyes snapped back up to his and he nodded his head. “Yeah. Thank you. They should be fine.” He reached out a hand and Tony handed them over. 

He dressed Peter in these, his thoughts still going a mile a minute. He paused his worrying about Tony’s star as he held his breath, praying these pants would fit. He fastened the button and let go. They sit snugly on his waist. At least he didn’t need to go smaller than a 2T. “How does that feel, sweetie? Can you try sitting down for me? Tell me if it’s tight on your tummy.” 

Peter nodded his head and walked over to where Tony was sitting. Tony lifted him up and sat him next to him. He smiled and gave Steve a thumbs-up. “All good!”  

“2T it is,” Tony said. “And now that we’ve got our sizes, you wanna pick out which you like?”

Peter nodded his head, staring at the shirts excitedly. “Yes, please!” 

“Well, what’s your favorite color?” He asked him, already lifting up a few t-shirts. 

“Blue!” Peter yelled, bouncing in his seat. 

Tony gasped. “No way, that’s my favorite too.” 

Peter giggled, kicking his feet. “My Papa has blue eyes.” 

Glancing over at Steve, Tony said, “Funny...that’s why blue is my favorite color too.” 

Steve rolled his eyes, but he still felt his face heat up in a blush. “Stop it, you two.” 

“What are we doing?” Peter asked, scrunching his face up. 

“Yeah, Steve, what’re we doing?”

“Just pick out your clothes and let’s get some food.” He was anxious to get some more food in Peter’s stomach. When was the last time he ate? Breakfast. That was hours ago. Did he eat enough? He ate everything on his plate, but was that enough?

“Oh no. We’ve still got the adult department to go to,” Tony said. 

“What?” Steve snapped his head to look at Tony. 

“You’re getting stuff too. You need clothes for the tower too,” Tony answered slowly. 

“I thought--.”

“That only Peter was getting something? Nope.” Tony grinned, going back to sorting through some shirts with Peter. 

“Tony, I don’t need any new clothes,” Steve argued. 

“Too bad. We’re not arguing this. Right, Pete?”

Peter was too distracted with his shirts to even know what they were talking about but answered Tony anyway. “Yup!”

Steve sighed. “Am I really not going to win this argument?”

“No, you’re not.” 

 

Even though Tony said he wasn’t going to win, that didn’t mean he was going to give in without a fight. Once they had Peter all settled, they walked to Steve’s section and started to look for clothes for him. Fortunately for him, picking sizes for adults was much harder than it was for a toddler. 

“Can’t buy me anything if you don’t know my size,” Steve said, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Then I’ll just wait till we go back to the tower, have JARVIS take your measurements and order custom made clothing for you.” 

Steve hesitated. “Can he really do that?”

“Do you want to find out?” Tony replied, looking at some blue shirts. “Hey, Pete, what size do you think your Papa is?”

Peter was right by Tony’s leg, following him as he walked from one rack to the next. He tapped his chin as if he were in deep thought. “Hmm...I think he’s a 4T.” 

Tony laughed, ruffling Peter’s hair. “Yeah, squirt, that sounds pretty close.”

“I am  _ not  _ a 4T,” Steve said even though Tony knew he wasn’t. 

Tony started checking more racks behind Steve as he hummed. “Yeah, I don’t know. Without a definite answer, I’ll have to go with the kid’s closest choice.” He was quiet for a moment before Steve felt a tugging on the back of his collar. Then Tony laughed and said, “Ha! Got it!” 

Steve whirled around. “Did you seriously just look at my tag?” 

“How else was I supposed to find out?” Tony looked down and raised his eyebrows. “You gonna tell me your pants size or do I have to go tugging on those too?”

Steve groaned loudly so Tony knew how much he did not appreciate this. “Fine. But not a lot.” 

“Not a lot,” Tony agreed. 

 

Despite his promise, Tony piled up his clothes too. He picked out a few shirts in different shades of blue just because they would make his eyes pop. Peter picked out a button-up shirt that had a bunch of little elephant prints across it. Steve knew he had to get that one from the way it made Peter smile. 

Once he was finished letting Peter and Tony play Barbie, they all headed to the checkout and put their clothes up on the counter. While the cashier began to scan each article of clothing, Tony grabbed a candy bar from the shelf and put it on the counter. “Here’s that candy I promised you, kid. You want anything else?”

“No, thank you,” Peter said politely.

Tony turned to Seve. “What about you, babe?” 

Steve knew that really, one extra candy bar wouldn’t break the total, but all he could see was the total price going higher and higher. It was already in triple digits and she wasn’t even done scanning Peter’s clothes. “I’m good. But thank you.” 

He felt Tony’s eyes on him as he continued to stare at the numbers in front of him and then Tony took his hand in his. “Hey,” he whispered. “Don’t worry about that. Really.” 

Steve couldn’t tear his eyes away as it surpassed $300. “But--.”

“But nothing.” 

Steve looked over at him and said, “Can I at least cover lunch? Please?”

Tony sighed. “Okay, okay.”

Steve could breathe a little easier. “Thank you.”

When the woman was finally done and the receipt was spitting out of the machine, Tony’s bank account was almost $600 drier. Tony walked out of the store, carrying one of the bags like it wasn’t. He was smiling as he watched Peter dance and sing to the music. 

Steve walked beside Tony, holding the other two bags. “Thank you, Tony,” he whispered. “I’ll pay you back--.” 

“You can pay me back with kisses. One kiss is one dollar. I only accept one as repayment a day. So I've got you for at least two more years.” Tony leaned over and pecked his lips. “Now, let’s go eat. I think they have a Cinnabon in the food court.” 

Steve smiled softly, brushing his arm against Tony as they walked. “I guess I can afford that.” 

“The Cinnabon or the kisses?” Tony teased. 

There was a time not so long ago that Steve would have been only able to afford one of those But now, he could reply with a smile, “Both.” 

“Oh good because--.” Tony was cut off when Peter let out a loud squeal. Both of them turned their heads immediately to see what was wrong with Peter. 

Peter was  _ fine.  _ He was standing in front of them, jumping up and down as he pointed to the center of the mall. “Look! Look who it is, Papa!” 

Steve followed where his hand was pointing and he saw a small gated scenery filled with fake snow, elves, presents, and Santa Claus. Steve had forgotten that malls even had Santas set up in big red chairs for children to sit on their lap and tell them their wishes. “You wanna go say hi?”

Peter nodded his head so fast and hard, Steve’s neck hurt just watching him. 

“Guess we’re making a pit stop,” Steve said to Tony, hoping he wouldn’t mind. 

“Let’s go,” he answered, a smile on his face, looking genuinely excited. 

Peter was ahead of them and got their spot in line while they walked behind. There were only a few other kids waiting. Peter was the one most excited, bouncing and jumping to try and see Santa. He was much more excited than the girl currently sitting on the man’s lap, screaming. Steve knew what it was like to have a toddler throwing a tantrum like that,  but he was just thankful that Peter was excited to see Santa. He deserved as much Christmas as he could get. 

“You want me to hold you up, squirt?” Tony asked as they came up behind him. 

Steve expected Peter to turn around and demand Steve to pick him up, but he nodded his head to Tony and lifted his arms up, wiggling his fingers. 

“Oh-- okay, hold on,” Tony said, sounding just as surprised as Steve was by Peter’s response. He handed the bag he was holding to Steve. “Do you mind carrying this just for a little while?”

Steve smiled and took the bag from Tony. “I’ve got it. You get him.” The bags were heavy, but nothing compared to the bags and toddler Steve had been carrying around the city for weeks. 

Tony leaned down and lifted Peter up in his arms. “Can you see him, munchkin?”

Peter kept one hand holding onto Tony tightly, but he pushed himself up so he could see over the other heads. Tony wasn’t as tall as Steve, but his height still gave Peter a good view. “He’s so close!” 

Steve smiled, watching them as Peter squealed and Tony talked to him with a matching excitement. Peter stayed in his arms the entire time until it was finally his turn. Then he practically jumped from Tony’s arms to the ground. “Okay, hold on, kid,” Tony chuckled as he lowered him down to his feet. Then Peter ran forward, tripping over his feet once and skidding a few inches. Everybody froze, waiting for him to start crying, but he pushed himself back to his feet a second later. He turned back to Steve with a smile. “I’m ‘kay, Papa!” 

One of the helpers dressed up as an elf came over with a laugh and lifted him up carefully. “I’ve got you the rest of the way.” She placed him on Santa’s lap and the man had to put a hand on Peter’s back to keep him balanced as he bounced on his lap. Immediately, Peter started talking, even though they couldn’t hear a word what he was saying. 

“I wonder what he’s saying,” Tony whispered to Steve. “I need an idea for his Christmas gift.” 

“You could get him a cardboard box and he’d be the happiest kid in the world,” Steve said, truthfully. 

“Oh, come on. No kid wants a box for Christmas. I want to get him some cool gifts.” He lowered his voice. “Santa also has to get him some cool things and don’t think I’m not going to help fill under that tree.” 

“Tony--.” 

“Another argument we’re not having. Sorry.”

Steve sighed and turned his attention back to Peter. He was smiling and pointing over to Tony and him. Steve smiled over at him and Tony gave them a wave. Peter waved wildly back. 

“He’s totally telling Santa how naughty you are,” Tony whispered right in Steve’s ear. 

Steve’s eyes flickered over to him. “Tony.” 

“I’m just saying that he totally knows what you did at the bowling alley. He knows all of your tricks. Naughty boy.” 

“Do not start this or else--.” 

“Papa! I got my picture!” Peter’s loud shout interrupted their conversation. He was just getting off of Santa’s lap and running back over. Thankfully, this time he didn’t faceplant. Tony pressed a kiss to Steve’s cheek with a smile before walking over to the woman by the computer and handing over his card yet again to buy something for them. He took the printed pictures in the envelope and thanked the woman before joining them again. Steve glared at him the entire time. 

“It was only like 20 bucks. Just wait till we see these pictures,” Tony said, waving the envelope. He leaned down when Peter started tugging on his shirt and Tony lifted him with one arm, settling him against his hip. 

“Bye bye Santa!” Peter called, waving his hand so crazy that he accidentally hit Tony in the head without even realizing it. Steve covered his mouth as he laughed. 

They walked away, giving another kid the chance to go up and Tony turned to Peter. “So, what did you ask Santa for, Pete?”

Steve was so afraid of this answer. 

“I asked him to make sure he found all of the kids on the street. Sometimes it’s hard for Santa if the kids don’t have a house.” 

Tony’s voice was soft when he answered. “That’s...really sweet, little guy.” 

“I also told him that I’d be at your house this year. Just in case he didn’t know where to look.” 

“But didn’t you ask him for a present? So he knows what to leave at my place?”

Peter grinned and whispered in a loud voice, “I asked him for a spaceship.” 

Steve laughed at Peter's answer that was so Peter. “Good idea, bud.” He turned to Tony and nudged his arm. “Hear that? He wants a spaceship. Think Santa can fit  _ that  _ under the tree?” 

Tony didn’t look too excited to find out, but he still answered, “Give him some time and he’ll figure it out.” 

Steve rolled his eyes with a smile. “Yeah, I’m sure he will.” 

* * *

“Natasha, there’s something I want to talk to you about,” Steve said later that night. Peter was in their room after dinner, getting his pajamas on. Steve told him to wait for him to finish talking to Natasha before he came back in. Hopefully, Peter would listen. Maybe he’d even fall asleep while waiting. Steve had to go to the club anyway. 

“You bringing home your costume tonight?” Natasha quirked an eyebrow at him as they sat down at the kitchen table. 

“Natasha.” 

“Okay, okay. It’s serious. I get it.” Natasha waved her hand at him. 

“Tony asked me…” He trailed off, unsure of what to say. What would Natasha say? Sure, she wanted this, but...she would also be upset to see them go. 

“Tony asked you…?” She prompted, raising her eyebrows. 

“Tony asked me to move in with him,” he before quickly adding, “Not permanently. Just to...like keep a drawer at his place…” 

Natasha reached over and took his hand in hers. “Hey...you don’t have to be nervous. I’m happy for you.” 

“But we’re going to miss being here. With you.”

“You weren’t going to stay here forever,” she said softly. “And at least you’re going to another house and not to a shelter or the street. As long as you’re inside, I’m happy.” 

Steve nodded his head, even though he wasn’t sure if she was really okay with this. “Don’t you think this is kinda sudden?”

“This is Tony Stark. He is an impulsive person by nature. He’s...lost a lot. He’s gone through a lot. When he wants something, he makes sure he can get it. Not because he can, but because he wants to before it’s too late.” 

“So, you don’t think it’s too fast. That...that I’m rushing into things just because I’m, you know…” He trailed off, not wanting to say the words. 

“I  _ don’t _ know,” she answered. 

He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Does it seem like I’m just being a gold digger?”

“A gold digger,” Natasha repeated, incredulously. “Do you know what a gold digger is?”

Steve furrowed his brow. “Of course,” he said. “Someone that dates another person for their wealth.” 

“Exactly. And you were dating Tony before you knew he had money-- which is honestly crazy to me that you didn’t know. Everyone knows that.” 

“I was too busy stuffing my shoes with newspaper to keep warm instead of reading it,” Steve replied with a serious face even though it was a joke. 

“Oh, Steve-- I didn’t mean--,” Natasha caught herself. 

“I’m joking!” Steve said, laughing. “Don’t worry about it. I never stuck any in my shoes. I just didn’t read any.”

Natasha swatted his arm, stifling her own laugh now. “You’re an ass.”

“I know. So I’ve heard. Now please tell me why I’m not a gold digger when he pays for everything. Including a shopping trip today. It was hundreds of dollars, Nat.”

“That’s just an added bonus.” 

“No-- I should say no. I should tell him I’ve been doing nothing but lying to him. I should tell him that I’m just some gold-digging bum--.” 

“Steve, stop it. You’re not a  _ gold-digging bum.  _ You’re going through a hard time. And it’s okay to lean on others for help.” Natasha’s voice went serious again. 

“I’m using him for his money.”

“You’re not. He’s spoiling you and that’s okay. Tony Stark definitely has the money to spare. He really really likes you.” 

Steve smiled, looking down at the table. “He loves me,” he said softly. 

“Exactly. So, if you want to move in with him then do it. Don’t worry about me. I’m going to keep your kid here as often as I can. So have as many date nights as you want.” 

“If you don’t mind, you can keep him the nights that I’m working at the club.” 

“I mean, you are free to keep him here as long as you want. But you know...you’re dating Tony Stark. You can quit that job. He’ll help you out.” 

Steve shook his head. “That’s exactly what I want to avoid. If I can make my own money, I’m going to. It’s  _ good  _ money.”

“Good money and all you have to do is strip naked, be treated like a piece of meat, and be groped.” Natasha rolled her eyes. 

“Never said it was easy. I said it was good.” 

“I just don’t like you working there.” 

“For now...I have to.” 

Natasha shook her head. “Whatever you say, but the second you’re able to, please quit.” 

“When I can, I will.”

 

When he got to the club, he was reminded at just how hard the money was when he walked out there that night. It had been a few days off and he forgot how horrible it was to be eye candy in this place. No matter how many bills were stuffed in his shorts. 

Rumlow was on his back the entire night and Steve started to understand what Amora meant by unwanted attention. Even when Steve went to take his break, Rumlow followed him in, patting him on the back to let him know what a good job he was doing. Each lingering touch made Steve want to puke. 

By the end of the shift, he was tired and just wanted to leave. But it was the only time he really got a chance to talk to Amora. That was the only good part of this job (besides for the money). 

“So, how is my boy doing tonight?” She asked, taking a seat next to him. She worked more days than him, so when he wasn’t in the club, she was still here. 

“Been better,” he said. “Wish I was home with  _ my  _ boy.” He sighed, thinking about Peter sleeping in their bed all alone. They had such a nice day today that all he wanted to do was curl up with Tony and Peter. 

“Oh,” she crooned, “Tony Stark?”

“I was talking about Peter,” he said, even though he knew his blush was probably going to make that hard to believe. “I had a nice day with him. He sat on Santa’s lap...I just want a normal day and night with him.” 

“Tony with you too?” She nudged his ankle with her foot. “Don’t lie to me. How’s the flirting going?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Is it flirting if we’re together?”

“Well, of course,” Amora said as if the question offended her. “Flirting keeps some fun in the relationship.” 

“Then, yes, I flirted very hard the other night when we went out for dinner. Lots of innuendos. Just like you said.” He couldn’t even look her in the eyes when he told her so. 

She laughed and slapped her thigh. “Oh, please tell me your ears were this red when you were doing it.” 

Steve covered his ears self-consciously. “They’re not red and they  _ weren’t  _ red. I played it cool.” 

“I’m sure you did. And how’d that work for you? Fun once you got home?”

“Not exactly…” 

“So, you set the game up and didn’t make it home. What a shame.” She tsked. 

“Peter was with us! And he wound up running into the bed with us, so I’m glad that we didn’t try anything.” 

“Woah, back up. You were flirting, using many innuendos, with your child right there?”

“He didn’t hear us!” Steve defended himself. “He thought we were all just bowling.” 

Amora laughed. “Bowling innuendos? Oh, that had to be good.” 

“Believe me,” Steve said. “It was.” 

“Well, you keep that up and you’ll have him bagged in no time. Tony Stark will take you the hell away from this place. If he’s got any rich friends, send ‘em my way.” 

Steve smiled, but it was almost a sad smile. Amora was just another person trapped in the life Steve was leaving all because of Tony. Without him, he’d be just as bad off. “I’m sorry.” 

She waved her hand. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t mind it here. It’s all I know anymore. Don’t feel so bad for me. I quite enjoy the work. If it weren’t for...certain company. Hell, maybe I’d even be running this place.” 

“A manager that actually cares about their dancers? That’s exactly what this club needs.” 

Amora stood up after a moment and smirked down at him. “You’ve been through shit. I can see it.” 

Steve frowned, unsure where she was going with this. “Yeah, I guess…” 

“Despite everything you’ve been through, you still always think the best will happen.” 

What was he supposed to say?  _ I get it from my son?  _ “Well, someone has to believe it.” 

She sighed, fastening her jacket tighter around herself. “I don’t have much of that optimism anymore, but if someone in this world gets it, I’m glad it’s you.” 

“Thank you,” felt like the right thing to say. 

“No problem, Steve. I’ll see you later.” She waved at him before she turned around, her head held high again as she walked out of the room with a purpose. Even if that purpose was only to let everyone around her know that she was in charge and wasn’t afraid to let them know. 

She didn’t need a Tony Stark of her own; she was her own Tony Stark. If only she had the money to get free from this place. 

She deserved it. Maybe more than him. 

Steve used his optimism to hope she’d get her happy ending too. 

* * *

“I feel like it’s been years since I’ve seen you,” Tony whispered, pulling Steve in for a kiss. 

Steve smiled softly. “I saw you this morning. When you came and bought coffee.”

Tony hummed and said, “Really? I don’t remember that…”   
“You don’t remember flirting with me as if you’d never met me before? You left your number on the receipt and stuck it in the tip jar.” Steve raised his eyebrows, his upper lip quirking up. 

“Nope. Doesn’t ring a bell.” 

“Oh, it doesn’t? What about this?” Steve leaned forward until their lips were pressed against each other. Only a second into the kiss, Tony was wrapping his arms around Steve’s waist and pulling him in closer. “Tony,” Steve said, pulling away slightly. “We can’t do this. Peter can only stay distracted by his homework for so long.”

“Shh,” Tony said, kissing him again. “Just wanna kiss you.”

“I wanna kiss you too.” Steve didn’t want to let him go.

“And I want to throw up.”

Steve jumped back from Tony with wide eyes. He looked over to the other room where Peter was alone. Alone. When there was a stranger in the tower. 

Tony didn’t seem as worried. “What’re you doing here?”

“I figured I’d drop by since I haven’t seen you much lately. Didn’t know you’d have company.” The man looked Steve up and down carefully with his hands tucked in his pockets. 

Steve took a step back, feeling uncomfortable under the man’s scrutinization. 

Tony wasn’t put off at all. “Oh, where are my manners? Rhodey, this is Steve. Steve, this is Rhodey.” 

_ Rhodey.  _ Steve knew that name. Tony’s best friend. He relaxed, knowing they were safe. He took a step forward again and held out his hand. “It’s nice to meet you. Tony has told me so much.” 

Rhodey didn’t move. “He’s said much about you too.”

Steve faltered, looking from Rhodey back to Tony, unsure what to do. This didn’t seem like the man Tony went on and on about. 

Tony looked confused as well. “Oh, come on, he doesn’t have cooties.” 

Rhodey stared at Tony for a long moment before extending his hand and shaking Steve’s firmly. “My name is Colonel James Rhodes.” 

Tony chuckled and said, “Captain Steven Rogers.” 

Something softened in Rhodey’s eyes at that. “You served?”

_ Fuck.  _ “Uh, no actually…” He glanced over at Tony, who was struggling to control his laughter. _ Fuck you, Stark.  _ “I’m, uh, that’s uh...my stage name.” 

The apprehension in Rhodey’s eyes morphed into confusion. “Your stage name?”

“I work at a club and--.” 

“You’re a stripper.”

“I actually prefer the term exotic dancer.” Steve smiled, trying to clear the tension in the air in any way possible. 

“So, what? You think it’s... _ sexy  _ to make a mockery out of the U.S. military?” Rhodey challenged, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“No, Colonel, sir...not at all. I just...may have been a little drunk when I was hired and that was the costume with the most clothes.” 

Rhodey furrowed his brow. “You know the point of stipping is to wear as little clothes as possible, right?”

“Yes, unfortunately.” 

“Well…” Rhodey said as if he were unsure where to go with it next. 

Peter saved them by coming running into the room. “Papa, I need help with my homework!” when he saw that it wasn’t just Tony and Steve in the room, he ran so fast to Steve he collided with his legs. Steve leaned down to rub the top of his head. “He’s safe, Petey. This is Tony’s friend. His name is Colonel Rhodes.” 

Peter loosened his hold on Steve’s legs to turn around and get a good look at Rhodey. He frowned and tried his best to repeat his name. “C-Cur...no Rhodes?”

Rhodey laughed, the wall around him seeming to disappear a little bit. “Close, kiddie. But you can call me Rhodey.” 

With Peter’s toddler speech, it sounds like, “Rowie,” when he repeats that too. 

Rhodey kneeled down and held out his hand, waiting for Peter to inch forward and shake it. “What’s your name, kiddo?” 

“My name is Peter,” Peter replied, standing taller. 

“Peter? Tony’s told me all about you.” Even though Rhodey had been cold to Steve, when he talked to Peter, his voice was soft. 

Peter giggled. “He’s your best friend?”

“He sure is.” 

Peter reached up to tug on Steve’s shirt. “This is my best friend. His name is Papa.” 

Rhodey looked up at Steve and his smile softened. “Yeah, kid, I met Papa.” 

Peter, always so easily distracted, looked down at Rhodey’s chest and took a few steps forward. He reached over and pulled on a chain that he had around his neck. They were a pair of dog tags. “My friend has a pair of these.” 

“Your friend?” Rhodey asked, sounding confused, not knowing all of his friends (except for that one boy in his class) were adults. 

“Yeah. His name is Dum Dum.” He giggled some more. “Others wear them in the shelter too. They all showed me theirs.” 

Rhodey narrowed his eyes curiously as he looked up to Steve for an explanation. “A shelter?”

Steve had been playing this game long enough with Peter to know to have an excuse ready. “We volunteer at the church. And I work at a cafe where I bring leftover food to a shelter for homeless veterans.”

Rhodey’s eyes widened as he stared up at Steve. Steve just stared right back. To fill the silence, Tony said, “So, can Mr. Grumpy Rhodey go away now that you know he’s good people?”

Rhodey pushed himself up and looked at Steve with less and more respect. “I guess. But I still need to have a word with him. Tony can help you out with your homework, kid. He’s smart enough. Hopefully.” 

Peter looked up at Steve, silently asking if he agreed with Rhodey. Steve nodded his head. “Go on, bud. I’ll be there in a second.”

Peter gave him a smile before turning to Rhodey. “Nice to meet you, Rowie!”

“Nice to meet you too, kiddo,” Rhodey said. 

Peter grabbed Tony’s hand and pulled him out of the kitchen as Tony said, “Rhodey, go easy on him. Please.” 

Once they were gone and it was just the two of them in the room, Steve turned to Rhodey and said, “I know what you’re going to say.” 

Rhodey raised his eyebrows. “Oh, really?”

“Yeah. Something along the lines of: 'hurt him and I kill you'.”

Rhodey chuckled, nodding his head. “Yeah, you’re pretty close there. Why don’t you sit down for a moment?” He gestured to a chair by the kitchen table and when Steve took a seat in it, Rhodey was then looking down at him. Oh. He wanted to have the  _ power _ in this conversation. 

“I am all ears, Colonel.” 

“Tony told me about you the minute he started getting interested. He’s my best friend and it wasn’t hard for me to notice something different about him. He was distracted, but also, happier.” Rhodey’s words were spoken like this was something he had been practicing in front of a mirror. “So, you know, I was really rooting for you. Someone that not only caught Tony’s attention but someone that he actually  _ cared  _ about? Unheard of. You’re exactly what I’ve wanted him to find, but that doesn’t make me forget what you did.” 

Steve frowned. “I’m sorry...what did I do?”

“The night where you left him. Ended things.” Rhodey shook his head. “I know he didn’t want me ever mentioning it to you, but you really crushed him.” 

The memory of running away on that came crashing back to him. He felt like shit and it made him seem like an asshole, but he couldn’t exactly explain to Rhodey why the homeless person gave Steve such a panic attack. “That was never my intentions and it never will be. I just got...overwhelmed. I was getting close to Tony and I wasn’t sure if it was right for Peter.” 

“Well, just like it’s your job to do whatever is best for Peter, it’s my job to do whatever is best for Tony. So, if you hurt him again like that...I can promise you that we will have some problems.” 

Even though Steve was both taller and more built than Rhodey, Steve didn’t doubt that he could kick his ass. Military training vs carrying a four-year-old everywhere? The winner was so obvious between them. “I would never do anything to purposely hurt him.” 

Rhodey stared at him for a long moment before nodding his head. “Okay. I believe you…you love him?”

“Only person I love more is my son,” Steve said without a second thought. 

Rhodey smiled and held out his hand. “Nice to meet you, Steve. You can call me Rhodey.” 

Steve took his hand and shook it with a smile. “The pleasure is all mine, Rhodey.”

* * *

“Papa! Papa!” Peter screamed from where he was kneeling on a window seat with his face pressed up against the glass. He was pounding on it with his fists and it made Steve nervous that he could break it and fall from the top of the tower, but Tony reassured him several times that he was just fine. 

Peter had been there since after they finished eating dinner, Rhodey pointed out that it was starting to snow outside. It had been twenty minutes and Peter hadn’t moved since. His face never left the glass. 

Steve walked over to where Peter was and looked down at the streets below. The height made Steve grab the back of Peter’s shirt just in case, even if there was a sturdy window between him and the fall. “Wow, look at that, bud. The snow is starting to stick.” 

“I wanna go out and play!” He started smacking the glass again and Steve pulled his hand away. 

Steve didn’t want Peter anywhere near that cold. To think, without Natasha and Tony, they would have been out there, struggling to find somewhere warm. Hell, there were still people out there that didn’t have a house like they did. He hoped all of the veterans from the shelter were warm. Tomorrow, he’d drop by after work with some food and warm drinks. 

“Maybe after the storm is over, kid,” Tony said. “You can’t go out there when it’s still snowing.” 

“I heard we’re supposed to get almost a foot,” Rhodey said, sitting down on the couch. “Won’t be surprised if schools are closed.” 

“Schools are closed?” Peter asked, turning around to look at Rhodey with wide eyes. 

“Dunno yet. Wanna come see?” Rhodey asked, patting the seat next to him. 

Peter grabbed Steve’s hand and started running over to the couch, dragging Steve behind him. Steve sat down on the couch, lifting Peter to his lap. Tony took a seat next to Steve and rested his head on his shoulder. 

They all sat on the couch, watching the news reporters report on the storm and it’s estimated damage. Steve could only imagine all of the people stuck on the street with no shelter to warm up on. He saw the snow piling up and the wind was blowing. He wished he could go on the street and bring everyone in the tower to stay warm. 

“How do we know if there’s no school?” Peter asked, bouncing on Steve’s lap. 

“It’ll say your school across the bottom of the screen. See some of them are already being announced,” Rhodey explained. 

Peter turned around and kneeled on Steve’s lap to look at him. “Papa,” he whispered, loudly. “What’s my school? Papa, can you read my school?”

“Yeah,” Steve said, thankful for the distraction. “I’ll see if they close yours.” 

Peter turned back around, bouncing on his lap excitedly until a familiar name scrolled across the screen. “Look at that, Pete...looks like your school is closed.” 

Peter shrieked loudly and jumped off his lap to do a happy dance on the floor. “Snow day! Snow day!” 

Steve smiled at how excited Peter was, but then he realized the problem with a snow day. “Shit,” he cursed under his breath, so he didn’t disrupt Peter’s happiness. 

Tony still heard him. “What’s wrong, babe?” 

“I’m gonna have to call Nat and as her for the day off so I can sit with Peter,” he said. 

“No need. I’ll watch him,” Tony said, giving him a smile. “We can hang out.” 

“Are you sure?” Steve asked. “I mean...it’s a few hours. He’s not always easy to control.” 

“We’ll go out, get something to eat, maybe the park. I’ll keep him busy,” Tony took his hand and caressed Steve’s with his thumb. 

“If you take him out, just make sure he’s bundled up.” 

“Of course.” 

“Okay...I’ll ask him after his happy dance is over. But are you sure? He’s a handful.” 

Tony kissed his cheek. “It’ll be fine, Steve. We’ve spent time together before. How much work can a toddler be?”

 

This time tomorrow, Tony was either going to be there to stay or he was going to go running for the hills. 

Steve prayed Peter went easy on him because he didn’t want to see him go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a cool surprise for next chapter that I'm excited for!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise surprise....this chapter is going to be told from Peter's POV! First time it's someone other than Steve's. This was definitely harder to try and get the voice of a four-year-old through it.

Peter didn’t mind living with Tony. He was nice and funny and he made Papa smile. Papa always did everything to make him smile, so Peter just wanted to do the same for him. He did miss his sleepovers with Nat, but sleepovers with Tony were just as fun. 

He was allowed to crawl into their big bed and he didn’t get in trouble. Papa said he had to start sleeping by himself, but it was dark in his room. If Peter had a star like Tony did, then he’d always have a nightlight. For some reason, Tony didn’t want the light showing though, so he always hid it. Peter wasn’t even supposed to tell Papa about it, but he couldn’t help himself. He could never keep secrets from his Papa. 

So Peter didn’t feel too bad for telling Papa about the star. Papa taught him never to lie or hide anything from him. So he didn’t have to worry about that. 

But back to living with Tony (sometimes his brain went crazy and thought about a lot of different things all at once. Papa could always keep up with him though.), Peter was excited to go out and hang out with Tony. Whenever he saw Tony, he was always with Papa. They were always kissing and hugging. Now it was just him and Tony and Tony promised they were going to have a lot of fun. 

Peter was sitting on the bed in the room where Tony had out all the new clothes Tony bought for him. He was supposed to be getting dressed, but Peter wasn’t so good at doing that all by himself. 

_ “Little sir, I’m supposed to remind you to get dressed.”  _

Peter looked up at the ceiling and smiled. “Okay! Sorry, Mr. JARVIS!” He looked over to Ellie and asked him, “What should I wear, Ellie?” Peter nodded his head even though Ellie didn’t say anything. He jumped off of the bed and ran over to the dresser that had all of his clothes. He remembered that Papa always used the top drawers for his clothes. So he pulled the bottom one all the way out and then pulled the ones on top a little less than the others so he could climb it.  

_ “Please be careful, little sir.”  _

“I careful!” Peter said. He got to the last drawer he pulled out and reached his hand in the top drawer. He couldn’t see what he was looking through so he pulled every shirt up until he found his star shirt. He was saving that for a special occasion. He kept throwing back the shirts he didn’t want until he finally found the star shirt. 

He climbed down a drawer and then opened up another one for his pants. He didn’t have special pants so he grabbed the first one his hand touched. They were the cool bright green ones he picked just because he thought they looked cool. Papa told him he would never wear them out anywhere, but he was! He was wearing them now! 

“Like my outfit, Ellie?” Peter smiled at him as he climbed out of the drawers. He brought his outfit over to the bed and jumped to climb up. He crawled over to Ellie and put his outfit down. He started to pull off his pajamas, feeling cold once they were off. He hurried to put his clothes on, wishing Papa was here to help him get it done faster. He just wanted to go outside already. 

His pants were easier to pull up as he squirmed on the bed, but his shirt wasn’t as easy to pull on. There were too many holes for him to get his head in the right one on the first try. He got stuck in one of the arm holes and couldn’t get his head back out. “Uh, Mr. JARVIS,” Peter called. “Can you help?”

_ “I don’t have a body to help you, little sir.”  _

“Oh.” That’s right. Peter forgot about that. Again, he was wishing Papa was here to help him. “Can you call Mr. Tony?”

_ “Of course, little sir.”  _

“Thank you!” Peter said loudly before waiting for Tony to come in. He hoped he got here soon because it was dark inside his shirt and he hated the dark. Scary people could hide in the dark. 

Tony came quickly and Peter couldn’t see him, but he could hear him. He heard his door opening and he heard him laugh. Tony was safe. Peter felt safe. “You doing okay, squirt?”

“I got stuck,” Peter said, waving the one arm he managed to get out of a hole around. 

“I see that,” Tony said, sounding like he was laughing at Peter. 

“Not funny! Come help!” Peter yelled, hoping he was coming. 

“I’m coming, munchkin,” he said before coming up to him and pulling the shirt off of him. Once he got it off of him, Peter blinked up at him and saw him smiling. “Hey there, little guy.”

“Thank you,” Peter said before standing up. “Can you help me? I can’t do it.” 

“Yeah, I’ve got you.” Tony waited for Peter to lift his arms up before he started to pull it over his head. Tony seemed to have as much trouble as Peter was having. 

“Papa can do this fast,” Peter told him because he could. Papa could have him dressed in a minute. He was good at doing dad things. 

“Well, I’m not Papa so please excuse my slowness.” He turned around and looked over at the dresser when Peter was dressed. “You made a mess of that, huh?” 

“I couldn’t see,” Peter told him. Then he felt bad. This wasn’t his home. He was supposed to clean up after himself. “Sorry. I can clean it.” 

“Hey, don’t worry about it, kiddo. I’ve got people that come in and clean up the tower. They can fold all of your clothes and make it like new while we go out.” 

Peter frowned. Tony had people that just came into his house while he wasn’t home? That sounded dangerous. And how did he get them to clean his house for him? Peter hated cleaning when he used to have a room with toys. There was no way he would ever clean someone else’s room too 

Tony ruffled his hair as he stepped back and walked towards the closet. The closet was bigger than his old bathroom. It was  _ huge.  _ “I’m getting your jacket and stuff. Your Pops told me to bundle you up.” 

Peter wasn’t sure why Tony called his Papa so many weird names: Steve, Pops, and some words that didn’t even sound like English. His name was Papa. Peter knew that. Tony also called him weird names too though like munchkin and squirt. But Peter didn’t mind because those made him smile. 

“You okay? You’re quiet over there,” Tony called from somewhere inside the closet. 

“I’m ‘kay,” Peter said, sticking a thumb in his mouth while he waited for Tony to come back out. 

Tony walked back into the room with his jacket, gloves, hat, and scarf. He put as much clothes on him as Papa did. “C’mon, kiddie, let’s get dressed. Are your shoes over there?”

Peter nodded his head and crawled to the edge of the bed. He peered over the side and saw his dirty sneakers thrown on the floor. He wished he asked Tony to buy him new ones the other day at the mall. 

After dropping the clothes on the bed next to Peter, Tony kneeled down and picked up his shoes. Peter watched him turn one of them in his hand until he saw the small hole in it. He looked up at Peter and said, “You’ve got a hole in this one, kiddo.” 

Peter nodded his head. “I’ve had them long time.”

“Do you have another pair?” 

No, Peter didn’t have any other pair, but he saw how many shoes Tony had. If he told Tony that he only had one ripped pair, then he would get worried. Papa said Tony couldn’t know, so he lied, “I have more at home. But these are my favorite.” 

“Maybe during the winter when there’s snow on the ground, you can wear another pair,” Tony said before putting socks on his feet and then the shoes. Peter tried not to wince when Tony squeezed his feet into them. It wasn’t his fault though, because it hurt even when Papa put them on. He hated wearing these shoes because they squeezed his toes. Then Tony started to get his other clothes on that had him really warm inside but would be perfect outside. Outside was cold. 

“Where are we goin’?” Peter asked, sticking his thumb in his mouth until Tony could cover it with his gloves. 

A second after, Tony took his hand in his and put his glove on. “I don’t know. Where do you and your Pops like to go?”

“We go to the library,” Peter answered, pouting at him for taking away his thumb. Papa told him he needed to stop, but he couldn’t help it. Especially when his Papa wasn’t there with him. 

“The library sounds fun. Do you like reading books?”

Peter nodded his head. “There’s a cool book about an astronaut that I hide in the shelf so no one else can take it. Everytime we go back, I find it to read.” 

“Do you remember the title of the story?” Tony asked, lifting him up off of the bed. Peter held onto him tightly. 

“Yup. I ‘member,” Peter told him. 

“Good. I think I know what we’re going to do today.”

Peter bounced in his arms because he felt so excited. “What?”

“Can’t tell you, munchkin. It’s a surprise. But I know you’re going to love it.” 

* * *

The snow looked really pretty, but once Peter was outside and he realized how cold it was, he was glad that Happy was able to drive them instead of walking. Peter didn’t even want to touch the snow anymore. He hated the cold. 

Peter waved goodbye and thanked Happy for driving them as Tony carried him out of the car and lowered him to the sidewalk. “Be careful,” Tony said. “It’s icy.” 

Peter looked down and saw the snow and ice all around him. He could feel the cold go through the bottom of his shoes. He looked back up at Tony and lifted his hands up. Papa always lifted him up when he did that. 

Tony stared down at him for a few seconds before he picked him up. “You know you have two working legs, right? I don’t have your Pops muscles.” 

“Papa have big muscles,” Peter told him. His arms were huge! “I’m gonna be big and strong like him when I grow up.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Uh huh. I’m gonna be just like Papa.” 

Tony smiled down at him as they walked inside the building Happy parked in front of. “Well, I can’t wait to see that.” 

Peter giggled as Tony walked up the stairs. If he still knew Tony when he was Papa’s age, then Tony would be super old. He’d probably have gray hair too. 

“Alright, Giggles, are you ready for your surprise?” 

Peter nodded his head, sitting up in Tony’s arms to look around them. He didn’t recognize this place. “Where are we?”

Tony pushed open the door and walked into a gigantic room filled with millions of books. Not as many as the library Papa took him to had: that one had bajillion books. “A book store.” 

“Book store?” Peter asked. They had a store just for books? 

“Yup. I figured we can try and find your astronaut book and bring it home. That way you don’t always have to hide it in the library.” 

Peter’s eyes widened when Tony said that. He had just bought him so many clothes and now he wanted to buy him a book too? “I can have a book?”

“You can have as many books as you want,” Tony told him, lowering him to his feet again. It was warm enough on Peter’s feet for him to walk, so he didn’t complain. He just reached up for Tony’s hand and looked around the store with big eyes. “Ready to start looking?” Tony asked him. 

Peter nodded his head and jumped up and down a few times. Tony laughed at him before leading him inside the store. “There’s so many books here! Where do we go first?”

“This way, kiddo,” he said, walking towards the back of the store. He passed a lot of big shelves until they stopped at a section with smaller shelves and more colorful books. “The munchkin section.” 

Peter let go of Tony’s hand and ran over to the books. There were so many. He pulled one off the shelf and saw it had a girl with a pink tutu on the cover. He giggled and fell to his butt and started to read the picture book. 

“Find something you like already?” Tony asked, squatting next to him. 

Peter showed him the cover of the book. “She’s a dancer. See?” He flipped through a few pages until there was a picture of her spinning. 

“That’s a ballerina, squirt.” 

“Ball..rina,” Peter said, repeating his word. “She’s pretty.” 

“She’s very pretty. Would you like me to hold onto this one for you?”

Peter lifted it up for him to take with a smile. Then he stood up and went back to the shelves. He pulled out a few others, but none looked very interesting so he pushed them back in their spots. 

“I think there’s a section for space books over here,” Tony said, pointing to a few books on another shelf. Peter hurried to his side and bounced on his toes. “Do you see my book?  _ The Little Astronaut. _ Do you see it?”

“I’m looking, squirt,” Tony said, tracing his finger over the spines of the books.

Peter started to look through some books as well, but he kept getting distracted by other books he saw that he liked. And they were all about space. Once he had a big pile of them, too heavy to hold, he sat down around his books and begin to look through them. 

He was so distracted by all of these that he forgot about the first book he was looking for until Tony said, “Ah-ha! I found it!” 

Peter looked up and grinned at him when he saw the familiar book in his hand. “That’s my book!” 

Tony sat down next to him and handed him  _ The Little Astronaut.  _ Peter immediately started to read through the pages. Peter giggled because he got so excited that he could read it again. He loved this story so much. 

“You’ve got a lot of books here,” Tony said, looking through his collection of books on the floor around him. “You sure do like space, huh?”

Peter nodded his head. “I love space!” 

“You’re gonna be a little astronaut one day.” 

“No! Big and strong astronaut!” Peter corrected him. 

“Oh, yes, how could I forget.” Tony laughed as he began to stack all of the books into a big pile. He grunted as he stood up. “I should have grabbed a basket for all of these.” 

Peter stood up beside him, expecting him to put them back. “Wait! I didn’t read those yet!” 

“That’s okay, Pete. We’re gonna bring them home so you can have books to read at home.” 

Peter’s eyes widened. “All of them?”

“Yeah. You need some books to keep at the tower. Whatever you want, give me.” Tony stood there, waiting to see what Peter would do. 

Peter wanted to take them all home with him, but that was a lot of books. Papa never bought him this many things at once, even when they still had their apartment. “It’s a lot…I can ask Santa for some…” 

“Kiddo, money isn’t a problem.” 

How could money not be a problem when money was the reason they lost their apartment and they couldn’t eat as much. “I’ll pick a few. And then ask Santa for the rest,” Peter said, sitting back down. Tony did so as well and spread the books in front of him. 

Peter looked through the pile and picked up the ballerina book, his astronaut book and another book on the constellations. Three was good. He handed them back to Tony. “I like those.” 

“Are you sure you only want three? We can get a few more.” Tony frowned at him and Peter hoped he wasn’t making him sad. 

“Those are good. Thank you.”  

“Okay, squirt. But we’re still gonna look as we walk to the front. If you see one you like, please tell me.” Tony put the three books to the side and helped him clean up the rest of the other books. 

Peter stood up with Tony and took his hand not holding his books. Peter looked at other books as they passed. The munchkin section had so many. Before they left it, Peter’s eyes saw a small chair underneath one of the tables. He ran to it and sat down. It felt like a pillow, but the best part was that it had the face of an effy on it. 

Tony leaned down to peer at him underneath the table. “Hey there, squirt.” 

“Look at this!” 

“Looks like a chair for rascals like you to calm down and read a book in.” Tony reached out and felt the arm of the chair. “Soft too.” 

“It’s an effy,” Peter said, leaning to the side so Tony could see the effy face. There were even big ears on the top and a nose too.

“Get up for a second,” Tony said and Peter did so as he laughed. 

“You want to try and sit in it too?”

Tony pulled it from underneath the table and picked it up. “Nope, it’s going in our pile.” 

Peter felt bad for getting excited. Even though he wanted it so bad. “You don’t have to buy it for me,” Peter said.

“I want to. And you need a chair to read all of your books in.” 

“Thank you, Mr. Tony,” Peter said, walking next to him. He grabbed onto his pants since Tony had both hands full now. 

“No problem, kiddie. You ready to go now?” He started walking again but slow enough for Peter to stop for anything he saw. 

“Do they have drawing books here?” Peter asked. 

“Like books to teach you how to draw?” Tony asked. 

Peter shook his head. “No. The ones with the blank pages. For Papa to draw on. He needs a new one.” 

“Yeah, there are some of those up front. Come on,” Tony said, nodding his head. Peter followed him to a small table by all of the cash registers. It was full of drawing books. “Do any of these look good?”

Peter held onto the edge of the table and stood on his toes so he could see. He pointed at a big one that was in the middle. That one looked like Papa’s old ones. “That one!” 

Tony picked it up and showed it to Peter. “You like it?”

Peter nodded his head. “Can we get it, please? I want to have a present to give Papa on Christmas.” 

“Of course, we can, kiddo. That’s very sweet of you to remember him.” Tony put it in Peter’s pile of books. 

“He does lots for me. I just want to give him a present too. I want him to smile.” Peter grinned at the thought of Papa opening his present and seeing that. It was Peter’s fault that he lost his backpack with all of his old books anyway. Hopefully, this would make up for that.

“You make him smile all the time, squirt. But I know he’ll love this. I’m pretty excited for him to open it too. I’ve been dying to see him in action.” 

“He’s the best drawer!” Peter exclaimed loudly, so Tony knew he was being very serious. “He draws me lots, but he can draw anything in the entire world!” 

“I bet he can.” Tony walked up to the cash register and placed the books on the counter. Then he lifted up the chair too. Peter could hear him talking to the nice lady behind the counter, but he couldn’t see her. He was too short to see her. Peter just waited patiently until Tony was done and everything was in a bag. 

When Tony had the bags and one big effy chair, he turned to Peter. “You hungry, kiddie? There’s a cafe downstairs we can go eat in.” 

“Papa’s cafe?” Peter asked, getting excited. He wanted to see Papa. 

When Tony frowned, Peter knew that it wasn’t Papa’s cafe. “Sorry, Pete. Papa’s cafe is a few blocks away. It’s a little too cold to walk there, but if you want, maybe I can tell Happy to come get us now and take us.” 

Peter wanted to ask him to, but he shook his head. Papa told him they needed to be able to be apart. Peter didn’t like that idea, but at least, he felt safe with Tony so it wasn’t so hard. Tony just bought him all of that stuff, so he didn’t want to bother him anymore. “We can eat here.” 

“Okay, squirt,” Tony said, taking Peter’s hand again as he held all of their bags in the other. Even the bag holding the elephant chair. “We’ll have a little snack here and then get back to the tower for dinner.” 

He led them downstairs and into a small cafe that looked like the one Papa worked in, but it wasn’t as cool. The walls were white and boring. Tony stopped at an empty booth. “You want to hold our table while I get us something to eat?” 

Peter knew it wasn’t far away and he always sat alone at Papa’s cafe, but this was different. Nat and Papa weren’t behind the counter watching him. He took a step closer to Tony and grabbed onto his pants leg. “Can I stay with you?” 

Tony gave him a little smile. “Of course. Come on.” He ruffled Peter’s hair through the hat he had on and then started walking towards the counter. 

“Do you think they have fruity pebble donuts?” Peter asked as they walked. 

“I don’t think so, kiddo, but let’s see.” 

 

They didn’t have fruity pebble donuts, but they had a cinnamon roll that tasted almost as good. Tony got an extra big one so they could split it without ruining their appetite for dinner. 

Tony picked up a big forkful and moaned as he ate it. “Very yummy pick, Mr. Rogers.” Peter wrinkled his nose at that name and Tony laughed. “What? I can’t call you Mr. Rogers, but you can call me Mr. Tony.” 

“You’re an adult,” Peter explained. “I gotta be polite, Papa says.” 

“You’re very polite. Your Pops raised a good boy.” Tony took another bite of the cinnamon roll. 

Peter nodded his head and said, “He is the best Papa so I be very good for him. Just like you should.” 

Tony’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry-- you want me to be a good boy for your father?” 

Peter nodded his head, wondering why that was such a strange thing for Peter to ask him. “You make Papa very happy, but that means you can also make him really sad. I don’t want to see him sad ‘cus you hurt him.” 

Tony sat up straighter and narrowed his eyes. “Wait a second. Are you seriously giving me the shovel talk right now?”

Peter didn’t know what that meant. “Shovel talk?”

“Yeah. Like you threatening me if I don’t treat your Pops right. You’ll bury me if I don’t,” Tony explained, even though Peter didn’t completely understand. 

“Yeah! I’m super strong like Papa and if you make him cry, then…” He pounded his fists against the palm of his other hand, trying to look as scary as he could. He didn’t think it was working when Tony covered his smile with his hands. 

“Oh, yes, you will hurt me good if you had the chance. Good thing I never plan on hurting your Pops then. I would never him,” Tony said and he sounded pretty serious. 

“Never in a million years?” Peter asked, leaning forward. 

“Never in a  _ bajillion  _ years,” Tony said, holding out his pinky finger. “C’mon, I’ll even pinky promise.” 

Never in a bajillion years  _ and  _ a pinky promise? Maybe Peter could believe him. Peter took his pink and shook his hand. “If you break the promise, then I have to break your pinky!” 

Tony laughed. “Oh, is that how this works, huh?”

“Yup. So you better not break the promise.” 

“I would never. I love your Papa a lot. I would never hurt him.” 

Peter smiled over at Tony, thinking just maybe Peter could love him too. Not as much as he loved his Papa. But still love him a lot. Maybe even like a second dad...maybe. 

* * *

When they got back to the tower, Tony asked JARVIS if Papa was home. He said that Papa was taking a nap in bed. Peter giggled because Papa was napping like Peter and his friends did in school. 

“Alright, kiddo, whaddya say we get you ready for school, have some dinner, and then head to bed?” Tony said, placing his effy chair on the floor by the couch. “You go get your PJs and meet me in the bathroom while I hide your Christmas gift to Pops. JARVIS will tell you where the bathroom is.” 

Peter nodded his head and ran to the bedroom with all of his clothes. Just like Tony said, his clothes were all cleaned up and there was even a clean pair of pajamas on the pillow for Peter to grab. “Hi, Ellie! Wanna come see my effy chair?” 

He grabbed his clothes in one hand and Ellie with the other before jumping off the bed and running back to the living room. “Mr. Tony took me to a book store! He bought me three books! He has them, but when I read one for bedtime, I’ll let you listen.” He gasped loudly. “I should ask Santa for a book about effies!” 

Once he was by the chair, he jumped onto it and held Ellie up so he could see the effy’s face. “You like it? I can sit here all the time.” 

_ “Little sir, I am to remind you to meet Tony in the bathroom.”  _

Oh, right! “Can you show me how to get there, Mr. JARVIS?” Peter asked, sitting Ellie on his chair. He didn’t want him to get wet in the bathroom. 

_ “Of course,”  _ JARVIS answered before the floor began to light up. 

Peter’s eyes widened as he followed the trail of light through the living room and down the hallway until it stopped at a doorway. It was already open slightly, so Peter pushed it and stepped inside. Tony was kneeling by a...pool! Peter dropped his pajamas on the floor he was so excited. “Mr. Tony, you have a pool inside your house!” 

Tony turned to look at him with his confused face again. “A pool? No, Pete, this is my bathtub. I don’t have a pool in the tower. THat’s at my home in the Hamptons.” 

Peter wasn’t sure what a Hampton was, but he knew that thing in front of him was not a bathtub. He walked over and couldn’t even peer over the top until Tony lifted him up and sat him down on his knee. “That’s a pool, Mr. Tony! Look how big it is!” 

“It’s a jacuzzi,” Tony said, gesturing to the pool. 

“A ‘cuzzi is a pool,” Peter said, leaning over to get closer. 

Tony chuckled. “Whatever you say, kiddie. Let’s just get you washed up. Dinner is on its way. Pizza. Lots of it.” 

Peter jumped off of Tony’s leg and began to pull off his clothes. He had a few baths at Nat’s house, but even hers wasn’t as big as Tony’s. This was bigger than a million sinks together! Once he had his clothes pulled off, he ran back to Tony’s side and he lifted him in. The water went all the way to his shoulders. Splashing around, Peter started to laugh. 

“You think that’s cool? Just watch.” He leaned over and pressed a button on the pool and all of a sudden, the water started bubbling. 

Peter yelped as he looked around him, feeling the water moving around. “What’s happening?”

“Those are the jets.” He pressed another bed and then lights lit up the pool, making the water look red. “And these are the lights.” 

Peter’s eyes widened as he looked down at the water. “Woah! Can you make it blue?”

Tony nodded his head with a smile. “Sure can.” He clicked the button a few times, it changing colors quickly until he stopped at blue. 

Peter lifted some water out in his cupped hands, but it didn’t glow outside of the pool. He looked back to the water and giggled. “Looks like your star! Can I see it ‘gain?”

Tony sighed. “Peter…” 

“Please! No one but me will see!” Peter asked with his best puppy dog eyes. 

“Alright, fine,” Tony said. “J, tell me if someone comes.” Then he lifted his shirt up and showed Peter his bare chest. The star inside his chest was shining just like it was that first morning he saw it. 

“It’s so cool! I want a star.” Peter leaned forward and placed his hand on it. It felt warm. 

“You don’t want this star, squirt,” Tony almost sounded sad. “It’s only there because I got hurt. Really bad.” 

“Your star saved you,” Peter whispered.

“I guess it did...but I’d rather not ever see you need a star like this. Let’s keep yours in the sky.” He lowered his shirt again and it was gone, not even a little glow showing. 

“Okay…” Peter went back to sitting in the tub so Tony could wash him without any trouble. Papa always told him when he bounced around the tub, it made it harder. 

“Good boy. Now let’s get you cleaned up, stinky. It’s almost bedtime.” 

* * *

“Papa still sleeping?” Peter whispered as they walked into the bedroom after dinner. Peter was starting to feel really sleepy even though he didn’t wake up early for school. Papa had a nap, but Peter didn’t get his. 

“He’s been working a lot lately,” Tony said, lifting the blanket up. He needs his sleep when he can get it.” 

Peter crawled into bed, making sure not to climb on Papa’s chest even though he wanted to. Instead, he waited for Tony to sit in bed before he crawled into his lap. 

Tony chuckled, wrapping one arm around him as he got more comfortable. “Hello again.”

“Can’t sleep,” Peter said.

“You haven’t even tried yet.” Peter gave him a pouty face and Tony grinned, pulling a cook from the dresser next to him. “Okay... will a bedtime story help then?”

Peter nodded his head, getting comfortable against his chest. He wasn’t as easy to lay on like Papa was because of the star, but Peter didn’t mind. _“The Little Astronaut_ please!” 

“You got it, kiddo.” Tony kept one arm wrapped around Peter and used his other hand to hold the book so he could start reading. He pressed a kiss to the top of Peter’s head and then he began to read. Peter closed his eyes and relaxed, listening to the story. 

Tony’s reading was only interrupted when he heard Papa’s sleepy voice.  _ “The Little Astronaut?  _ Did you two go to the library?”

Tony lept his voice low, “No, we went to a bookstore. I got him a few books to read at home.” 

“You didn’t have to…” Papa still sounded like he was sleeping. 

“I know, but I wanted to. Reading it got him to sleep pretty quick too.” He kissed the top of his head again. 

Peter wanted to tell them he was awake and say hi to his Papa, but he was so tired he didn’t think that he could open up his eyes. And Papa sounded tired enough that he was about to fall right back to sleep. 

“You gave him a bath too?”

“Sure did. He loved the jacuzzi. He’s convinced it’s a pool though.” Tony laughed and Peter liked hos his chest rumbled underneath him. 

“Thank you, Tony.” It sounded like Papa was moving closer to them.

“You don’t have to thank me,” Tony whispered. “I hate fun with the little guy. He really loves you, you know.” 

“Yeah, I know.” 

_ Good.  _ Peter smiled. 

“I’m kinda jealous…” Tony said after a long minute of quiet. “Peter and Nat...you know they love you because of you. Sometimes I wonder if people stick around for me or my money.” 

“I can’t imagine how hard that must be, Tony, but there are people that love you for you. I love you for you. And Peter does too. He doesn’t even know what rich and poor is.” 

Papa was right that Peter loved Tony, but he wasn’t really right that Peter didn’t know what rich and poor was. He might not know exactly what the words meant, but he was smart enough to know that Papa was poor and Tony was rich. 

“I never know who to trust,” Tony said. “Sometimes I feel so...alone.” 

“You’re not alone anymore,” Papa whispered. “You can trust Peter and me.” 

Tony held him a little tighter after Papa said that Peter cuddled closer in his arms and decided that he wanted Tony as a dad. He made Papa happy and he made Peter feel safe. That was the best dad he could ask for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, rereading all the comments talking about how fluffy the last few chapters have been: hheheheheheheheheheheheheh


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall had too much uninterrupted fluff
> 
> EDIT: There is more of the eating disorder as mentioned in the tags in this chapter. It will become more prominent in the story as of now, so please be careful.

“Peter, how many times have you read that book?” Steve asked, sitting down on the couch next to Tony with a bowl of popcorn. Peter was sitting on his chair next to the couch with  _ The Little Astronaut  _ in his lap. 

Tony didn’t have to buy him three new books plus that chair, but Steve couldn’t really get upset at him for it. It wasn’t like he bought him the entire store. It was just a few books. Peter deserved to have something other than Elliot. 

“Only four times today!” Peter flipped the page he was on and only read a few words of the book out loud before he giggled crazily. 

“There’s a reason I left that book at the library,” Steve whispered, cozying up to Tony’s side. He intertwined their arms together and grabbed Tony’s hand. 

“Why’s that?” Tony asked, leaning his head against Steve’s shoulder. 

_ Because if Peter ruined or lost that book I couldn't afford to replace it.  _ “Then I’d have to hear him reading it every minute of every day.”

“Oh, come on, there’s some variety. Before dinner, we heard about Bella Ballerina three times. He even took breaks to show us his spins.” Tony reached over and took a handful of popcorn in his free hand. 

“Shush!” Peter yelled. “I’m readin’!” 

“Yeah, Steve,” Tony said, smacking his leg playfully. “I’m trying to find out if the little astronaut ever gets to the moon.”

Peter laughed some more. “You’re silly. You know that he--.” 

Tony covered his ears. “No! Don’t spoil it!” 

Peter rolled his eyes with that dramatic attitude he had sometimes. Steve hid a smile behind his hand. Once the two of them were quiet, Peter continued reading his book. Steve could repeat this book word for word from memory. 

“There’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” Tony whispered low enough so Peter wouldn’t hear. “About work…”

“What work?” Steve kept his eyes on Peter so he would know if he heard them. “Cafe or the club?”

“Neither. Stark Industries. I’ve got a business trip this weekend. I tried to tell Obie to put it off, but--.” 

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Steve said, squeezing his hand. “You’ve got to work. Peter and I will be okay for the weekend. I’m sure Nat wouldn’t mind the company.” 

Shaking his head, Tony said, “No, the tower is still yours even when I’m not here. You and Peter are free to stay here. Unless you want to go see Nat, of course.” 

The tower was theirs. Right. Sometimes, it was easy for Steve to forget. "Won't be the same without you here," Steve said as he kissed the top of Tony’s head. “I’m gonna miss you.” 

“I’m gonna miss you even more,” Tony replied, looked up and smiled. 

Steve stared into his eyes for a moment, wondering how the hell he got so lucky. He leaned down and pressed his lips against Tony’s. “I love you.” 

“Love you more,” Tony replied with a smirk. 

Steve rolled his eyes fondly. “This isn’t a competition, you know.”

“No,” Tony agreed. “But if it was, I’d still win.”

“You’re rid--.” 

“Papa, shh! I’m still reading!” 

Tony leaned up to Steve’s cheek. “See? I win.” 

Steve had Peter happy and warm and safe and he had Tony kissing him in his arms. There was no way anyone but him was winning this game. 

* * *

“How long will this take?” Steve asked, pressing another kiss to Tony’s lips. Tony had started saying his goodbyes 10 minutes ago and they hadn’t gotten any further than in front of the elevator. 

“I’ll be back Sunday night. There’s a lot of shit going on with the company. Pepper has been trying to get control, but Obie is giving her a hard time. Says he needs to meet with me to discuss boring business things like our budget.” 

Steve frowned. “Can’t you just do that over the phone? I’ll watch Peter for a few hours so he doesn’t disturb you.” 

“I wish I could, tesoro, but there are a few people I need to meet up with. Stark Industries got some more funding and there’s some disagreement about what it should be used for. This is something I’ve got to handle face to face.” 

“I’m going to miss you,” Steve whispered, holding his hand in his. 

“I’m going to miss you too, but you’ll be plenty distracted with Peter. I’ll be home before you know it.” Tony smiled, but Steve didn’t think that would be true. It was only Friday afternoon. He’d be gone for three days. Steve and Peter had been on their own much longer than that, but now that he had someone by his side again, he didn’t want to let it go. 

“He’s going to miss you too.” 

“Distract him then. Go build snowmen in the park, go see Natasha, go crazy in the kitchen making all kinds of Christmas treats.” Tony smiled. “You’re welcome to  _ anything  _ in this tower while I’m gone. Ask JARVIS for anything and he will get it for you.” 

“I don’t want to overstep,” Steve admitted. 

“This is your home now too,” Tony said. “It’s not overstepping.” 

Steve still had trouble accepting that he and Peter had a home. It didn’t feel real. Steve was still waiting for it all to come crashing down. “Okay. I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you.” 

“No need to thank me, love.” Tony pressed a kiss to his cheek before pulling away and glancing around the room. “Now where is my munchkin?”

Steve’s heart warmed at that, just like it did every time Tony referred to Peter as his own. At first, Steve thought he’d feel territorial or hesitant to let _anyone_ call Peter _theirs._ But this wasn’t just anyone. This was Tony. A man that Steve loved with every inch of his heart. A man that Peter loved just as much. So, he didn’t mind sharing. 

_ “Little sir is coming now,”  _ JARVIS replied just before they heard Peter’s little feet pattering across the floor in a run. 

He came barreling right into their legs and grinned up at them. “Hi!” 

Tony crouched down and Peter reached over without hesitation to be lifted up. Tony did so and settled him on his side before standing up again. “Hello, squirt.” 

Peter seemed to remember the conversation they had before and he frowned. “Gotta go?”

Tony’s smile grew sadder, but it didn’t disappear. “Yeah, kiddie, I gotta go.” 

Peter reached out and grabbed the collar of his button-up shirt so hard, it wrinkled between his little fingers. Tony didn’t pry the hand away or even flinch, despite the fact that he had spent an hour and a half picking out an outfit and making sure there wasn’t even a single crease where one shouldn’t be. He said Obadiah was strict with his appearance at these things. “You come back?”

“Of course,” Tony said immediately. “I will always come back to you two. Love you both too much to go anywhere.” 

Peter giggled, bouncing in his arms before leaning in close and squeezing his little arms around his neck. “Love you too, Mr. Tony!” 

Tony pressed a kiss to the top of his head as his eyes fluttered shut. 

Steve smiled at the two of them and for the first time in weeks, he thought that maybe this adventure was  _ finally  _ coming to an end. 

* * *

“I miss Mr. Tony,” Peter said as he skipped down the sidewalk. It had only been a few hours since Tony left, but Steve missed him too. Spending the day in the park wasn’t enough to distract either of them. Even after all the snow angels, and the snowmen, and the snowballs, at the end of the fun, there was still someone missing. Peter and Steve had been a pair for so long, but now that they were part of a trio, it was hard to be alone. 

“He’ll be back Sunday night when you’re getting ready for bed. If you’re a good boy until then, I’ll let you stay up and wait for him.” Steve held Peter’s gloved hand as they continued to walk. He had to keep a tight hand on Peter or else he would try to go running through snow piles. Again. His pants were already soaked from his feet to his thighs from when he ran through a giant pile. 

“I’m good,” Peter reassured him. “Santa’s watchin’.” 

“He sure is, bud.” Steve smiled. He loved every time Peter got excited for Santa. For a moment, Steve could pretend like he didn’t completely ruin his childhood. 

“We going home now?” Peter asked as he jumped over a patch of ice. 

“We’re going back to the tower,” Steve answered, unsure if he could consider it home just yet. “I gotta get you out of those wet clothes and it’s supposed to start snowing soon.” Steve wanted Peter wrapped up in five different blankets by the time the snow started coming down. Natasha texted him an hour ago letting him know that the news said it going to be almost as bad as the other night. Steve really needed to remember that he had a television he could watch now. The weather was important to know if he was going to take Peter to for the day. 

“But I wanna be outside when it snows! I wanna eat the snowflakes!” Peter looked up at the sky ad opened up his mouth even though there wasn’t any snow falling yet. 

“Peter, you’re not to be out here in the snow. It’s too cold.” He hated using his stern father-tone with Peter, but he had to understand that the cold was nothing to play with. 

“But Papa--!” 

“No buts.” 

Peter pouted as his shoulders sagged. “Okay, Papa…”

Steve sighed, hating how sad Peter was walking now. “I’m sorry, baby. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I know. I just want to have fun…”

“We will have fun, bear. We’ll get back to the tower and you can read your books to me. Maybe the one about constellations?” Steve smiled down at him, hoping to get him to smile back. 

_ “The Little Astronaut?”  _ Peter asked, getting excited again. 

Steve bit the inside of his cheek, wanting to say no, but instead, he sighed and nodded his head. “Yes.  _ The Little Astronaut.” _

“Yay! Home soon?” 

“We’ll be at the tower soon enough, don’t you worry.” Again, Steve couldn’t call it home. Not yet. 

“Okay, Papa,” Peter said. Of course, he trusted him 100%. 

Which was the wrong thing to do because soon enough was definitely not soon enough. It started snowing only a few minutes after they left the park and before long, the snow was blowing at them from every direction. He leaned down and lifted Peter up in his arms, holding him close to his chest. Peter was so small that he was already shivering. 

“Just a few more blocks,” Steve said quietly. Unfortunately, New York blocks were long. Even longer when he had gusts of wind going against him. Each snowflake that hit his face felt like shards of knives. 

“Papa,” Peter said with chattering teeth, “I’m cold.” 

Steve wrapped his arms around him tighter, rubbing his back. “I know, baby. I’m going as fast as I can.” As fast as he could wasn’t good enough. He debated pulling out his phone and calling Happy because the man said that he’d be willing to pick them up anywhere at any time if he could, but Steve didn’t want him driving in this weather. He didn’t want to be in a car in this weather. That and also by the time Happy got in the car and made it to them, it would probably take longer than if they just walked it. 

Peter stayed curled up against his chest and despite all of the layers Steve had him in, he continued to shiver violently. He didn't stop shivering until almost a half-hour later when Steve was finally pushing open the lobby doors to Stark Tower. 

The minute he was inside, the doorkeeper was at his side. “Mr. Rogers, sir, I didn’t know you were still outside.” 

“W-We were just having a day out. Didn’t know it was gonna get bad,” he whispered, his own teeth chattering too. He wondered if Peter was still shivering; he couldn’t tell who was shaking and whose teeth were chattering any more. 

“Can I get you anything, sir?” He asked, sounding worried. Funny that weeks ago, no one would have cared when he and Peter were walking on the street shivering. No one cared until Tony Stark did. 

“M’fine. Gonna bring Peter upstairs. Warm him up.” 

“Are you sure you’re alright?” The man asked. “I can go upstairs with you.” 

Even though Steve was familiar enough with him from seeing him every time he walked into the building, Peter wasn’t. Steve knew by the way he let out a low whine at the man’s offer.  “We’ll be fine.” 

“Okay,” the man said, looking reluctantly. “But, if you need anything, please don’t be afraid to call down. For anything.”  
  
“Yes. I know. Thank you.” Steve didn’t want to be rude, but he just wanted to get Peter upstairs. He brushed past the man and kept his head down until he was inside the private elevator. 

_ “Good evening, Captain Rogers.”  _

“Hey, JARVIS, can you get the heat on high upstairs? I need to warm Peter up.” 

_ “Of course, sir.”  _

Steve rocked Peter in his arms and pulled him away to look down at him. He was still covered in a dusting of snow. Steve brushed it off of him as best as he could. “I”m sorry, baby bear. I’m so sorry.” 

“S’okay, P-Papa,” he replied and all Steve could focus on were his chapped blue lips. 

“It’s not okay, Peter. I shouldn’t have kept you out so long. I should have known.” He had hurt Peter once again, even when they had a place to live. It wasn’t right. 

Once the elevator opened up to their floor, Steve hurried forward and went right for the couch. The air in there was already much warmer than it usually was. But until he got Peter out of his wet clothes, it wouldn’t help. So he pulled all of Peter’s layers off until he was in his boxers and then wrapped the throw blanket around him as many times as he could. 

“I’m gonna get you into warmer clothes. Hold on.” He carried him down the hallway into their bedroom. He laid him down on the bed and pulled another blanket around him. He kept a sweatshirt in the closet that would be big enough to wrap around the blanket so he grabbed that one and gave Peter another layer. Soon, all that was showing on from Peter was his face. His lips didn’t look blue anymore, but his cheeks were still rosey. 

“Feeling any warmer?” Steve asked him, pulling off his own wet layers now. He wanted to crawl into bed next to Peter, but he couldn’t until he was dry. His clothes weren’t as soaked as Peter’s thankfully because he didn’t go running through snow piles so he could leave his long sleeve t-shirt and sweatpants on. 

Peter didn’t answer until he was snuggled against Steve’s side, still covered in all of his layers. “Mhmm...warmer now, Papa.” 

Steve kissed his forehead and hated that the skin was still cold to his lips. “We’re gonna stay inside for the weekend. You okay with that?”

Peter let out a little whine as he nestled his head closer. 

“Then it’s settled. Nothing but you and me cuddling in the warm blankets and eating lots of warm food.” 

“Can we watch a movie?” Peter asked in a little voice. “Mr. Tony has a lot on his TV.”

Tony had Netflix and Peter was introduced to a world of books on a screen. He didn’t even understand how the “magic box” was able to do it. Steve never knew he could be so fascinated by television; he’d forgotten that Peter didn’t have one in the home growing up. There was no way for him to even know just how magic a television could be. Ever since Nat’s house, he was obsessed with Animal Planet. Even Netflix had a few good documentaries. 

“Sure we can, buddy. I know a few good ones you might like. But first, I’m gonna make you a bowl of soup.” Steve wrapped the blankets around him tighter. He wasn’t going to go just yet and make the dinner. Not until he knew Peter was warm enough. 

Peter didn’t like that idea though. “Soup ‘gain, Papa? Ate that all the time in the old place. Always soup.” 

Steve remembered the night of his tantrum in the motel. It still hurt his heart. “I know, baby. But this is to warm you up. You need something warm.” 

“You need warm too,” Peter said, pulling an arm out of the blankets to cup his cheek.

Steve’s smile softened. “It’s not your job to worry about me, baby.” 

“No, but I want to.” 

“Stop that.”

“Stop what?” Peter frowned. 

“Sounding like an adult.” 

“M’ a big boy,” Peter mumbled, resting his head up against Steve. 

“No, you’re my baby.” Steve kissed the top of his head. “You’ll always be my baby. Even when you’re an old man like Papa.” 

Peter kept his eyes closed as he giggled. “I’m not gonna be old like you.” 

“And why is that?” 

“You’re the Papa. I can’t be older than you. I’m just the kid,” Peter explained like that made sense. Like he believed that he was going to be this age forever. 

“Oh, right. How could I have forgotten?” Steve started to run his hands through Peter’s hair again and again. 

“Silly.” 

Steve smiled and didn’t give him a verbal reply. He was just enjoying having him safe. Especially after that scare with the snow. Steve must have dried him off soon enough. 

After a few silent moments, Peter said, “Hey, Papa, I don’t think I wanna go out in the snow anymore.” 

Steve couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, kiddo, me neither.” 

“I miss summer.” 

“It’ll be here before you know it. Don’t rush your time away.” Summer was a few months away. What if Tony broke up with him by then? Peter would have a home for Christmas, only to lose it in time for his birthday. At least if they were out on the streets in the summertime, he didn’t have to worry about either of them getting hypothermia or frostbite.

“Mr. Tony said he has a pool in the...in his hamper. Can we go?”

Steve frowned, trying to decipher what Peter was trying to say. “His hamper?”

“Yeah! His hamper!” Peter replied like it made any sense. 

Steve went along with it anyway. “If Tony says we can go to his hamper and swim, then I don’t see why not.” He pressed a kiss to Peter’s head before moving to stand out of the bed. “Stay here, baby. I’m going to bring back that soup.” 

He stood up and made his way out of the room. “JARVIS, keep an eye on Peter please. Let me know if he needs me.” 

_ “Of course, Captain.”  _

“You know you really don’t have to keep calling me that. I’m not a real Captain.” 

_ “I cannot override Mr. Stark’s request, Captain.”  _

Before Steve could continue arguing with a computer, his phone started ringing. At one point, his ringing phone could only mean bad news: landlord calling to tell him he was getting evicted, Peter’s teacher calling to tell him Peter woke up from his nap screaming, or someone else calling to collect money he owed. But now, he smiled. His phone ringing meant a friend checking in. Nat or Tony usually, but even Sam called from time to time. 

This time, it was Tony. He grinned as he answered the call, “Speak of the devil.”

“Me a devil?” Tony laughed. “Never.” 

“JARVIS and I were just talking about you,” Steve said as he stepped into the kitchen. He knew where most of the stuff was now. He knew exactly which cabinet to go to for a bowl. 

“Oh, really? Well, I hope he’s being nice. Because I’ve got some embarrassing stories about him too.” 

Steve laughed. “He wasn’t telling me any stories, but now that I know they exist, I know what JARVIS and I are going to talk about once Peter is asleep.” 

“Totally not fair,” Tony said, even though he didn’t sound worried. He sounded just as amused.

Steve smiled and changed the subject as he searched for a can of soup. “Hey, do you have any soup cans?”

“Soup cans? For what?” Tony sounded confused. 

“To eat?” Steve laughed as he shut yet another pantry door without soup. 

“You know I’ve got a perfectly good filet mignon in the fridge, right?”  

Steve rolled his eyes. “My four-year-old has a rather  _ refined  _ taste palette. And I need something warm for him. There was a bad storm we got caught up in today.” It had scared Steve, but having someone to talk to and help him had his shoulder relaxing. He wasn’t in this alone. 

“Yeah, I heard,” Tony said. “I was actually calling to check in and see how you two were doing. If it’s not warm enough in the tower, J can fix the heat. I’ve got tons of blankets in guest rooms if Peter needs more.” 

Steve wished Tony was here. He wished Tony could wrap his arms around him and keep him warm. “Wish you were here.” 

“I’ll be home soon, love,” Tony said softly. “Until then, there are some soup cans in the back of the bottom pantry. I stocked up on perishable goods for you and Peter to bring down to your church.” 

Steve smiled softly. “Wow.”

“What?” Tony asked, sounding hesitant. “Did I do something wrong?”

“You did something, but it wasn’t wrong. It was actually really sweet of you to remember. Thank you.” Steve walked over to the cabinet Tony mentioned. 

“I was planning on donating some more from our charity funds to the church. Natasha told me about the shelters you guys donate your food to. Stark Industries can always give to another charity.” 

_ Another charity.  _ Steve’s stomach turned and suddenly, the conversation wasn’t doing anything but make him sick. It was just a reminder that Tony could  _ never  _ find out about his past. Because then he and Peter would be just another charity case. “Yeah. That sounds good.” 

Tony paused. “You okay?”

“I’m fine. Just gotta get this for Pete and make sure he’s warm,” Steve answered, hoping Tony wouldn’t notice the 360 change in his voice. 

“You go do that. Let me know how he is,” Tony said, hurried as if he felt bad for distracting Steve. “Keep him warm.” 

“Will do,” Steve said, not worried about Peter now that he was dry and warm. He was worried about Tony finding out that there was a time where Steve couldn’t keep him warm. “Good luck with your meetings and get lots of sleep. You sound exhausted.” 

Tony sighed deeply. “It’s just a lot of bullshit. Nothing new. Call me tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Steve said, trying to calm down. “I’ll call you again tomorrow.” 

“Bye, babe. I love you.” 

Steve shut his eyes, took a breath and replied, “I love you too, Tony.” 

He did. He loved him so much it was dangerous. 

“Good. Because when I get home, I’m going to need the best kiss you can give.” 

Steve chuckled. “Yeah, after Peter falls asleep maybe.” 

“Yeah,” Tony agreed, though they both knew that the elephant was still in the room. Peter crawled in bed with Steve and Tony every night. There was never “after Peter fell asleep” for them. 

“We’ll figure it out,” Steve whispered. “We always do.” 

“‘Course. But that’s for another time. You go take care of Peter. He needs you.” 

Steve wanted to tell Tony that he was just as important to him. He gave Peter more attention because he was his son. His son was only a toddler. He  _ needed  _ Steve. Especially with everything they’d been through. But Tony didn’t know that. Not when Steve had kept it all a secret.

“I need you too,” Steve said. “So, come home soon. I love you.” 

When Tony replied, Steve could hear a smile in his voice. “I love you too, love. See you Sunday.” 

Steve hung up the phone and sighed as he started making Peter’s dinner. Once it was heated up and Steve was pouring it into the bowl, Steve spoke up to the ceiling, “Hey, JARVIS, could you look into um--.”  _ What did Natasha call it? _ “Separation anxiety in kids. Toddlers.”

_ “My database has come up with a few thousand articles and studies on separation anxiety in children.”  _ JARVIS’s response took only three seconds. 

“Do you mind going through them? Try to filter out any that can help me? And keep this between us, maybe…” He stirred the soup, hoping it would help the broth cool down enough for Peter to eat. 

_ “Of course. What filters should I run?” _

Steve hesitated. “Um...maybe with sleeping? Nightmares. And, uh, trauma.” He couldn’t even look at the ceiling when he said that, despite JARVIS not being a person. Steve still felt ashamed for being the reason his four-year-old had trauma.

_ “I will do so, Captain. Any articles that could help with Peter I will save to a file for you. It shouldn’t take too long.”  _

Steve didn’t ask how JARVIS knew it was for Peter because it was kind of obvious. “Alright. Just...don’t give it to me unless I’m alone, okay?” He requested as he walked down the hall. The last thing he needed was JARVIS telling him his search was concluded when Tony was in the same room. 

_ “Understood.” _

“Thank you,” Steve said before walking back into the bedroom where Peter was laying down. He was still awake, waiting for Steve to return. Just like he always did. Steve smiled as he sat down next to him. “Still up, bud?”

“Hungry,” he answered as he sat up, letting some layers fall off his shoulders. 

“I’ve got your soup right here, Pete. Are you still cold?” He stared at his lips and they looked like a normal color pink. His teeth didn’t seem to be chattering anymore. 

“Warm,” Peter answered, his eyes on the bowl of soup. 

“Okay, okay,” Steve said, pulling Peter into his lap. “Eat up and then bedtime, okay?” He kept Peter wrapped up in one of the blankets at least and used his free hand to bring spoonful after spoonful to Peter’s mouth. 

Peter continued to eat until it was empty and he was cuddling against Steve’s chest. Steve carefully put the bowl on the table next to them and then laid down with Peter curled in his arms. “JARVIS, do you mind lowering the lights for Peter to sleep?”

The lights dimmed and even Steve let his eyes flutter shut. The adrenaline from running out of that storm was starting to crash. Before long, he was fast asleep with Peter breathing softly in his arms. 

* * *

Steve had slept with Peter close to him for the past few weeks to know  _ exactly  _ how he sounded when he was asleep. So when Steve woke up the next morning and Peter was snoring, Steve knew something was wrong. Peter didn’t snore. Especially like this. This sounded like his entire respiratory system was congested. 

The fear of Peter being sick had him fully awake and sitting up. Of course the morning Peter woke up sick was when he was all alone. 

He rubbed Peter’s back, saying his name softly, “Peter, baby, can you wake up for a second?” Peter groaned and turned his head deeper into Steve’s chest. Even his normal grumpy groan sounded sick. “Fuck,” he cursed, getting out of bed with Peter still in his arms. 

Peter didn’t move from where he was curled up in Steve’s arms, but he did mutter, “Bad word, Papa.” 

Steve ignore that as he bounced Peter in his arms gently. “Baby, are you sick?” 

Peter nodded his head. “My nose is stuffed and my head hurts.” 

“My poor baby,” Steve said, pressing a kiss to his head. His skin didn’t feel hot to his lips. So, he didn’t have a fever. Only a cold. What was the saying his mom always said when taking care of him?  _ Starve a fever, feed a cold?  _ “JARVIS, Peter has a cold. Will feeding him help?”

_ “Foods such as broth and chicken noodle soup are known to loosen congestion,”  _ JARVIS answered. At least Steve had someone. 

Steve nodded his head and walked back to the kitchen where he got the soup only hours ago. Peter whined against his chest weakly. “Not more soup, Papa.” 

“It’ll help, sweetie,” Steve whispered. “You need to feel better and this will help. Then I’ll let you pick whatever you want for dinner.” He grabbed a few cans of soup and started to make Peter his soup. He poured it into a bowl and sat down with him at the table. He was able to feed the entire bowl to Peter without him complaining. 

After it was empty, Steve turned to Peter and spoke quietly, “How’re you feeling now?” 

“Head hurts. Wanna go sleep.” He looked absolutely miserable as he rubbed at his nose again for the millionth time since he’d woken up. 

“Does Tony have any children’s Tylenol?” Steve asked, brushing Peter’s hair softly with his fingers. 

_ “He does not, but I can send out an order for some. It’ll be here in an hour or two.”  _

Steve nodded his head. “Yes, please. Is there anything else you think that could help?” 

_ “I believe that a humidifier and Vick’s rub could help with little sir’s congestion.”  _

Steve nodded, not giving the price of any of this a second thought. Tony could afford this. Peter needed it. “Please add those to the order.” 

_ “Order confirmed. I will let you know when it’s arrived. I’ll have it sent up.”  _

While that was handled, Steve carried Peter back to the bedroom. “Wanna try to get back to sleep, baby?” Peter let out a whine as he nodded his head. “Okay, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” He got back into bed and laid down. He didn’t let his own eyes fall shut, but he hoped Peter was doing so. 

Steve sang softly to him, hoping it would help him fall asleep so at least he wouldn’t have to suffer. However, only a few minutes into his lullabies, Peter started to cry. First, there had been no words to it and Steve hushed him gently as he continued to sing. There was nothing more that he could do. 

Listening to Peter’s congested cries had his own eyes watering up. He only paused for a few loud coughs and then when he stopped, he sobbed out, “Papa, I don’t feel good.” 

“I know, baby. I’m so sorry. I’m gonna give you some medicine soon. It’ll help you. I promise.” 

He squeezed his eyes shut as Peter continued to cry, only stopping when he needed to cough. His little body shook from the force of them. 

“How much longer until the medicine gets here?” Steve asked helplessly. 

_ “Approximately 78 minutes.”  _

“Shit,” Steve cursed. That was too long. 

“Papa,” Peter sobbed. 

“I know. I know.” Steve stood back up and hurried over to the en suite bathroom. “I’ve got an idea though. My ma used to do this for me,” he said even though he knew Peter was crying too much to hear a word he was saying. He kept Peter in one arm as he kicked the bathroom door shut and turned the shower on as hot as the water would go. 

“I don’t wanna take a shower,” Peter cried, his little hand fisting in Steve’s shirt. 

“We’re not. The hot water will fill the room with steam. That should help with the congestion.” 

Sure enough, after a few minutes, the room filled up with steam and Peter’s sobs quieted down. Steve rubbed his back as he kissed the hair behind his ear. “How does that feel, buddy?” 

“Better,” Peter answered, even though he didn’t sound healthy again. This was only a temporary solution. 

Steve walked back over to the bathtub and made the water warm enough that it wouldn’t burn Peter’s skin. Then he put the stopper in the tub so the bath would fill. He started to peel Peter’s clothes off of him. “We’re going to take a bath while we wait for your medicine, okay?” 

“Ba’f?” Peter mumbled as Steve finished undressing him. 

“Yes. A bath. It’ll be relaxing.” Then he started to take off his own clothes so he wouldn’t have to sit in a tub with his clothes on. Once he was stripped down to his boxers, he dipped his toes into the water and once he was sure it wasn’t going to hurt Peter, he slowly got into the tub. 

He lowered himself so he was laying down with Peter’s back to his chest. Peter whined a little as he submerged in the water, but then he calmed down. Steve rubbed his chest gently, hoping it was working. “Does this feel nice, bear?”

“Uh-huh,” Peter answered, turning around so his side was curled into Steve’s chest. 

Steve continued to rub his back, laying like that together until JARVIS announced that the packages were being sent up in the elevator by a trusted employee and they would be left in the kitchen. 

He stayed in the tub for a few minutes longer before stepping out and grabbing a fluffy towel to wrap around Peter. He should have grabbed one for himself, but he really wasn’t worried about himself. He could dry off when Peter was okay. So, he kept Peter cradled to his chest as he hurried to the kitchen and started pulling the packages from the bag. There were the Vicks rub and several different children’s cold medicine. There was a large box for the humidifier that Steve could set up in their room once Peter was settled.

He grabbed the rub and medicine before hurrying back into their room. Steve really hoped JARVIS wasn’t watching him run around the tower in nothing but his soaking wet boxers. AIs probably couldn’t judge, but if they could, JARVIS would surely be judging him. 

He threw the small boxes on the bed before going to the dresser and pulling out some clothes for Peter. He got a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. He was so grateful just to have clean, warm, fresh clothes to dress his baby in. He couldn’t even imagine what he would have done if Peter got this sick when they were on the streets still. 

He put the underwear and pants on Peter before laying him down on the bed. Peter whined, reaching up for Steve again. Steve hushed him gently as he opened the box of the Vicks rub and covered two of his fingers with it. “It’s gonna be a little cool,” he warned before rubbing it on Peter’s chest. 

Peter let out another whine, but after a minute of rubbing, he let out a deep sigh. 

Steve smiled slightly at him. “Feel good, buddy?”

Peter nodded his head, whimpering as he wiped at his eyes. 

He continued to rub Peter’s chest even after it was covered because he could tell Peter liked it. After a few minutes, Steve said, “I’m gonna stop to give you some medicine.” 

“Feel better?”

“Hopefully, bear.” Steve read the back of the medicine bottle so he knew how much Peter should get. As he unscrewed the lid and poured the given amount, he prayed that this would help. Maybe it was just a 24-hour bug and this would help Peter feel well enough to sleep and get the rest he needed. 

Once he had the little measuring cap filled, he helped lift Peter up. “Sit up for me, baby. Then you can lay back down.” 

Peter listened and when Steve pressed the cap to his lips, he drank the red medicine. Peter’s face screwed up in distaste, but he didn’t complain. Steve kissed the top of his head. “You’re such a good boy,” he praised him softly.

Peter leaned forward and Steve held him closer against his chest. “Papa still hurts.” 

“You’ve got to give it a few minutes,” Steve whispered. “Let’s get your shirt on and then lay down and hopefully, you’ll feel good enough to get in a nap.” 

Peter groaned miserably as Steve pulled him back and started to slip his shirt back on. Steve was as gentle as he could be as he did so and pulled Peter close to him again. Then he carried him over to the head of the bed and laid down with him in his arms. He laid down, praying that Peter would be able to sleep. 

It took a long time for him to do so, each breath he took was heavy from his mouth and when he finally fell asleep, the loud breaths turned to louder snores. Any other time, Steve would have found it adorable, but now he was only worried. 

While Peter was exhausted enough to sleep, there was no way Steve was getting any rest. He was too afraid to even move, in fear of waking Peter up. He sighed and said to himself aloud, “Well, now what?”

Of course, he wasn’t alone, so JARVIS answered, _ “I suggest getting something to eat while he sleeps. You have not eaten since yesterday morning.”  _

Steve didn’t even realize he had hunger until JARVIS mentioned it. “I’ll eat later when I feed Peter dinner.” 

Steve wasn’t sure if computers had emotions, but when JARVIS responded, he definitely sounded like he didn’t believe a word of what Steve said.  _ “Of course.”  _

Steve narrowed his eyes but didn’t say a word.

 

When the time came later for Peter to eat, he proved JARVIS right by only worrying about Peter. He woke from his nap feeling sick again after the medicine had worn off. He said his throat was starting to hurt and he was sneezing every few seconds. Steve hoped that maybe the sneezing would help unclog his nose. 

He held Peter in his arms as he made him another bowl of soup and then gave him a banana to eat as well. Steve wanted to be careful with what he fed him and these were foods that were good for colds that Peter actually liked eating. 

After he ate, it was back to trying to calm Peter down enough to just not be miserable. Crying only made his head hurt worse, but he was still a baby and when things hurt that he couldn’t explain, of course, his solution was to cry. He set up the humidifier in the bedroom so that it pumped steamed air into the room and hopefully, helped clear Peter up some more. 

When he was sitting down with Peter during a rare moment of him only whining and not sobbing, his phone dinged. He kept Peter in one arm and pulled out his cell phone with the other. There was a text from Tony in his notifications. 

**_Tried calling earlier but no answer. How is pete?_ **

Steve saw a few missed calls from Tony and even Nat that he must not have heard before when Peter was crying. He typed out a response to Tony with one hand and it took longer than normal because of the typos he had to fix. 

**_Sorry, pete has a cold. I’ve been trying to help him feel better._ **

Steve stared down at his phone, waiting for a response like a schoolgirl with a crush. 

**_Have happy pick up some medicine for him. Don’t worry too much,  at least it’s just a cold._ **

Steve didn’t know why that text made him...even more upset. It wasn’t “just a cold”...even though it was. It was just a cold and Steve knew he shouldn’t be so stressed, but he was. He felt like he was back on the streets again. Peter was sick and hurt and there was nothing Steve could do to help him. 

**_Jarvis got him medicine and vicks. Steam from a shower helped, just keeping an eye on his breathing. I’ll keep u posted._ **

Tony’s reply was almost immediate. 

**_I hope the little guy feels better. I’ll bring him home something to cheer him up._ **

A minute later, another one came. 

**_Take care of yourself too._ **

**_I will._ **

Lies. 

**_Gotta go. Obie has us going to dinner with more partners. I’ll see you tomorrow night._ **

Steve stuffed his phone back into his pocket. He knew Tony had an important job being CEO of his own company, but he didn’t realize what kind of work that would involve. Not that he needed him now. Steve had been on his own for years. He could handle this. But he still wanted someone by his side to help him for a change. 

Once that distraction was gone, he turned back to Peter and fixed him in his hold so he was cradled in his arms like Steve used to hold him as a baby. Steve smiled down at him and wiped at his nose with his sleeve. Despite his nose being constantly covered in snot, he said it was always clogged. 

“How about we put some more Vicks on your chest and then you try to get back to sleep?” 

Peter nodded his head, already pulling at his t-shirt. Steve chuckled at his eagerness as he helped him pull off his shirt. He pulled the Vicks from the bedside table and began to rub it in. Peter let out a shaky sigh of relief.

“You like that, huh?” Steve whispered, keeping his voice soft. 

Peter nodded his head, sniffling as he wiped the corners of his eyes. When he pulled his hands back, he didn’t open his eyes again. Steve used the hand that wasn’t rubbing Peter’s chest to take one of Peter’s little hands in his. 

“I’ve got you, baby,” Steve promised. “I’m going to take care of you.” 

* * *

Peter fell asleep not long after Steve started rubbing his chest and he didn’t stop once he did. He continued long past when his arm started to cramp at the constant movement. If this was the one thing keeping Peter somewhat comfortable, he was going to keep it up. 

Even when it slowly got later and later, Steve kept it up, switching arms when one physically couldn’t move anymore. His eyes started to flutter shut when the clock on the wall said it was nearing four in the morning. 

But right when his eyes stayed shut after an extra long blink, they were snapping back open when he heard the most terrifying sound in the world. 

Peter was wheezing. 

Steve’s heart leaped in his throat as he snapped his eyes back open. His eyes went down to Peter’s small body still cradled in his arms. His chest was falling and rising unevenly as he struggled to take in each breath. When he let the air out of his lips, a small wheeze followed.

This was an asthma attack-- or at least the beginning of one. 

He had to try and stop it before it got too late. Last time, he’d been too late. Last time, he thought he was going to lose Peter. Last time, it had put them on the street. 

“Alright, buddy, you’ve gotta get up.” He made Peter sit up, hating that he had to wake him up when he was finally getting some rest. Even when he lifted him up, Peter only continued to wheeze in his sleep. Steve’s voice grew firmer when he shook him. “Peter, you need to wake up right now..” 

After a few more shakes, Peter was finally blinking his eyes open. He looked scared as his wheezing became more rapid and panicked. “P-Papa,” was all he could get out. 

Steve felt his eyes burning and he wished the tears would wait because he didn’t have time for this when he had to get up and find Peter’s inhaler. He couldn’t afford for his damn tears to blur his vision. “Shh, it’s okay, sweetie. Remember I said that I was gonna take care of you? That’s exactly what I’m going to do.” 

“C-can’t breathe,” he wheezed, his hand squeezing Steve’s hand so tight it actually hard. 

Steve hated hearing his son struggle to even breathe. It was a nightmare come true. He hurried his pace and jumped off the bed to run to Tony’s room. He left it in his dresser there because Peter had been sleeping in there with them. 

Peter’s wheezing got worse as the seconds passed, but soon he was shoving open Tony’s door and running right to the dresser. He pulled it open, practically ripping it from the track. His hand was shaking as he reached to grab the bright red rescue inhaler. He sat on the bed and fixed Peter on his lap as he used the other hand to pull off the cap. It fell to the floor, but Steve didn’t care about ever finding it again. Not now. He shook it a few times as he whispered to Peter, trying to keep his voice calm. 

“You remember how to do this, right, baby?” He held it up to Peter’s face so he knew what he was talking about. Peter nodded his head, with a wheeze being cut off by a sob. “Good boy.” Steve lifted it to Peter’s lips. “On the count of three. One, two, three!” He pressed down and Peter sucked it in, holding his breath. “Good boy,” Steve said again. “Hold it in for a few seconds. You’re doing so good.” 

After 30 seconds, Steve rubbed his arm. “Okay, buddy, let it out.” 

Peter let out the breath and Steve hated that he was still wheezing, even though he knew it wouldn’t work right away. 

“You’ve got this. One more time.” Steve lifted the inhaler to his lips again, but Peter shoved his hand away. 

“N-no,” he cried.

Steve didn’t have time to be patient with Peter.  _ Peter  _ didn’t have the time. “You have to, Peter. Just once more. Okay?” Peter hesitated but nodded his head. “Thank you, bud,” Steve said before lifting the inhaler to his lips again. 

Peter wrapped his lips around them, but when Steve started counting, he pulled away. “I c-can’t! It hurts!” 

“Yes, you can,” Steve told him and pressed the inhaler to his mouth again. Peter waited a moment before he took it in his mouth again. ”You’re so strong and brave. Count of three. Just like before. 1, 2, 3…” This time, Peter was able to inhale and he held it while Steve gave him encouragement. “You got it, bear. Almost done. The hard part’s over. Such a good boy...ready, I’ll count down for you.” 

When he finally hit 0, Peter let out a deep breath and sagged in Steve’s arms. He was still wheezing as he cried. “D-don’t like that, Papa.” 

“I know you don’t, baby,” Steve said, putting his inhaler on the dresser so he could hold Peter with both arms. “But you did so well.” He pulled Elliot from where he was resting on the pillow and handed him over. “Elliot thinks you were super brave too.” 

Peter grabbed him and squeezed him close. His wheezing was getting better, but he was still crying. “I hate being sick, Papa,” he cried. 

“I hate when you’re sick too. If I could take away, I would. I wish it were me and not you.” 

Peter nestled back into Steve’s arms and after a few minutes, he wheezing disappeared and Peter cried himself into a fitful rest. Steve checked the clock and saw that it was only 5:45. This was going to be a long day. 

 

That turned out to be an understatement. 

Steve needed to use the inhaler on Peter two more times before noon. Thankfully, after the last time of using it, he was able to take another nap. He woke up on his own accord and wasn’t as sickly as he’d been the last day and a half. 

Now, his nose was running constantly and Steve always had a tissue in his hand to wipe Peter’s nose, but at least he was feeling better. When Steve was carrying him into the kitchen for lunch, he sneezed and Steve froze when he saw the booger dangling from his nose all the way down his chin. 

“That’s disgusting,” he told Peter. But then he made it worse by sticking his tongue out and pulling it into his mouth. “Oh, Peter, no. God, please don’t eat your boogers while we’re holding eye contact. That’s-- God, you’re nasty.” 

Steve pulled out a tissue from his pocket but by the time he lifted it to Peter’s face, the snot was gone. Steve gagged and Peter giggled. Despite the fact that Steve was completely grossed out, he smiled when he heard Peter’s giggle. He hadn’t heard it since he was running through the snow at the park. 

Steve let his eyes flutter shut as he let out a breath of relief and leaned in to rest his forehead against Peter’s. “I missed that sound so much.” 

He felt a small hand start to pet his hair and Peter pressed a kiss to his nose. “I’m sorry, Papa.” 

“Please don’t apologize for getting sick, Peter,” Steve told him, feeling his body growing lethargic now that the adrenaline of making sure Peter stayed breathing was gone. The sudden relief even left him feeling a little light-headed. 

“Thank you for taking care of me,” he whispered. 

Steve smiled, enjoying the feeling of Peter’s forehead against his. “I always will. I’ll always be here to take care of you, sweetheart.” Then he pulled away and kissed his head. “Whaddya say we fill that belly up?” 

Peter nodded his head and opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off by a sneeze. That sprayed right on Steve’s face. Peter giggled again. Steve used the tissue to wipe his face. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the grossest thing Peter had done on him, so Steve couldn’t really complain. "God bless you..." 

“Sorry,” Peter said, even though he sounded far from it. 

“Yeah, sure you are.” Steve carried him over to the table and sat him down on a seat. Except for his scratchy throat and runny nose, he seemed to finally feel better so Steve didn’t mind leaving him alone for a few minutes while he made Peter a bowl of oatmeal. 

He carried it over and set it on the table in front of him. “Let that cool down for a minute or two.” 

Another sneeze. “Okay, Papa!” 

“Bless you,” he said before ruffling his hair and turning around to get him a drink. He must have moved too fast because suddenly his vision went black and he had to lean against the refrigerator for support. 

_ “You have not eaten since Friday morning. It is now Sunday afternoon. I suggest eating something soon, Captain.”  _

It sounded like Steve was underwater listening to JARVIS. He squeezed his eyes shut and opened them, hoping that his vision would return. When he opened them again, it was blurry, but at least he could see. His vision adjusted enough for him to see Peter kneeling on his chair, looking over the backrest. “Papa, are you ‘kay?”

“M’fine, Pete,” he said despite not being fine. At all. He tried taking a step, but the world went topsy turvy again and his legs started to shake. Peter screamed his name and he shot out a hand to reach for him even though they were too far apart. 

Peter’s terrified, tear-stained face was the last thing he saw before he felt his legs completely give out and his world went black. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'd say i'm sorry but that would be a lie. i've been dying to do this for a while now.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy halloween! here's another chapter written from petey's pov!

Before they were kicked out of their apartment, the scariest thing Peter had ever seen was Harry coming to school on Halloween. He came dressed as a zombie and the make-up looked so real that Peter was convinced his best friend’s brain was half-eaten. Harry didn’t stop pretending until Peter’s eyes started to fill up with tears. He had felt really bad and gave Peter a hug, but Peter was already scared of Zombies and no hug would change that. 

Then he and Papa lost their home and everything inside it and Peter was grabbed by that man. He was scarier than any zombie. Zombies were fake. But the man that grabbed him was real. He was squeezing Peter so tight and his knife was sharp against his neck. It hurt even after he was gone. His cheek was bruised and Harry believed his story that he was fighting a monster. He had lots of nightmares after it, even more than the number of nightmares he had after Halloween. Being close to Papa helped him sleep when he got too tired to stay away because he knew Papa would always keep him safe. 

But Peter would go back to that night with that man if it meant he didn’t have to live through _this._ This was a million times worse than anything else Peter had ever seen in his entire life. Papa was getting him a glass of juice when Peter heard him stumble. He turned around in his seat to see if he was okay. Maybe Peter left his shoes on the floor like he used to and Papa tripped. But there were no shoes. Papa was holding the fridge as he squeezed his eyes shut. 

“Papa, are you ‘kay?” He asked, terrified because part of him knew that he wasn’t. He looked like he was hurt. 

“M’fine, Pete,” he answered, but he did not sound  _ fine.  _ He sounded hurt and he sounded scared. He tried to take another step closer to Peter, but that was all it took before he collapsed. 

Peter saw his eyes roll back and he dropped, hitting the floor hard. He felt the tears pouring from his eyes as he reached out for him. He wanted to catch Papa. He wanted to help him, just like Papa was always there to help him 

“Papa,” he called out, staring at him. He was laying on the floor. He wasn’t moving. “Papa!” He screamed, not caring that he wasn’t using his indoor voice. He was scared and he just wanted Papa to wake up. 

But he wasn’t waking up and Peter knew he’d have to go over there and shake him awake. He hadn’t been sleeping because he was so worried about Peter when he was sick. Maybe he was so tired he just fell asleep. 

He climbed down the chair slowly and he hated that he didn’t want to. He was scared to go over and see his Papa. Papa was supposed to be the one taking care of him. Peter wanted him to just wake up on his own. Was that mean? Was he a bad boy because he didn’t rush over to help him after Papa always did that for him? 

When his feet were on the ground, he took small steps toward Papa. Once he was finally by his side, he reached down and patted his cheek. His eyes were closed and he looked like he was sleeping. “Papa,” he said. “Papa, you have to wake up.” 

He didn’t wake up. 

Peter cried harder. 

“Papa, please wake up. I’m scared.” 

Papa always woke up when Peter was crying. He was always there to hold him. But now...now he didn’t move. What if he couldn’t? What if he couldn’t wake up? Could he be...Peter shook his head wildly. No. Papa was okay. He was just napping. 

But he had no clue what to do. Papa was the one that knew what to do in moments like this. Now he was all alone. Tony and Nat weren’t even here. Wait! Maybe he wasn’t as alone as he thought. 

“JARVIS!” He yelled. “Can you help me please?”

_ “I can contact medical services for you.”  _

Medical services? Peter didn’t know who they were. He didn’t know if they could help. Papa never liked doctors. “Can you call Mr. Tony, please? I don’t know what to do!” 

_ “Dialing Tony Stark’s number.”  _

Peter waited to hear Tony’s voice as he stared down at Papa. He put his hand by Papa's nose to see if he could feel him breathing. Peter wasn’t sure if he could or not. He climbed on top of his chest and pressed his ear to Papa’s chest. 

After a second, he heard the soft  _ thump thump  _ of his heart. Peter smiled even though he was still crying. Papa was okay if his heart was still saying  _ thump thump.  _

_ “I’m sorry, little sir, but Mr. Stark is unable to be reached during his meeting. Can I contact medical services? It is part of my coding to call for help when it is necessary.”  _

Peter shook his head.  _ No doctors.  _ “Can you call my friend Nat? She works at Papa’s cafe. I don’t know her last name. I’m sorry.” 

JARVIS was smart though.  _ “Dialing Natasha Romanoff’s number.”  _

Peter stayed curled up against Papa’s chest. He felt the tears continue to fall as he prayed to every star.  _ Please wake my Papa up. Please.  _

When Peter heard Nat’s voice, he wanted to cry more. So he did. 

_ “Hello? What-- hello?” _

“Nat!” He yelled up at the ceiling. “It’s Peter!” 

_ “Peter? What’s wrong? Why are you crying? Where’s your dad?” _

Peter sniffled, looking down at Papa. His head was starting to hurt again. “Papa fell. He’s sleeping.” 

_ “What do you mean he’s sleeping, Peter?”  _ Nat sounded scared too.  _ “Can you tell me what happened?” _

Peter nodded his head even though she couldn’t see him. “I was sick and Papa was takin’ care of me. Today I was feeling better and he was getting me juice. He-- He tripped into the fridge and when I asked him if he was ‘kay, he fell.” Peter started crying harder, just imagining it all again. “It was so scary, Nat! I’m so scared. P-Papa won’t wake up!” 

_ “Okay, honey, it’s going to be okay.”  _

“But Papa won’t wake up!” He screeched. Papa wouldn’t wake up and Peter couldn’t even help him. 

_ “I’m going to call help for you, okay? There are people waiting on call in the tower for things like this.”  _

Peter shook his help. He didn’t want other people. Papa didn’t want other people. “Why not you?” 

_ “Because I’m too far, Pete. I’m closing up the cafe now and then I’ll be at the hospital as soon as I can.”  _

“No!” Peter shouted. The hospital was bad.

 Peter hated that place. They lost their last home (because of him) the last time they need to go to the hospital. It was too much money. 

_ “He needs to see doctors, Peter. Go with them. Stay with Papa and I’ll meet you there. I have to go now to call for help, but I’ll see you soon. I promise.”  _

Peter didn’t want her to go because she helped feel a little safer, but he knew Papa needed her help more. “Okay...I’ll stay with Papa. I’ll see you soon.” 

_ “It’s going to be okay, Peter. It’s all going to be okay,”  _ Nat said before her voice was gone. And Peter was all alone again. 

_ “She’s right, little sir. It’s all going to be okay.”  _

Peter curled into Papa’s chest again. Maybe he wasn’t so alone. 

* * *

Peter wasn’t sure how long he stayed on Papa’s chest, but soon, there were people running in and yelling. Peter was scared of strangers usually, but these people were here to help Papa. So he called out, “In the kitchen!” 

Then they were running in. They were wearing suits that Peter didn’t recognize. Maybe they were emergency doctors. He didn’t like these doctors though. One of them pulled him off of Papa’s chest immediately. Then he couldn’t see Papa as the rest of them surrounded him. 

“Papa! I want my Papa!” He screamed, smacking the chest of whoever was holding him. 

“Shush, little guy, it’s okay,” the woman said as she rocked him. 

“No!” Peter struggled as much as he could. “I want Papa!” 

The man held him tighter and she yelled over his screams, “We’re gonna have to hurry up here. Kid isn’t happy.” 

Peter watched as they all stood up holding a weird-looking bed between them. Papa was laying on the bed, still asleep. Peter reached for him, crying out some more. “Papa!” 

“We’re gonna follow your Papa,” the woman said. Her voice sounded nice. Like Miss Hill’s voice. “It’s going to be okay.” 

Why did everyone keep telling him that? Nothing was going to be okay until Papa was okay and awake. “I want my Papa,” he whined. 

“Your Papa is right there. See?” She said as she followed the people holding Papa. “We’re right behind him.” 

Peter stopped complaining and fighting because they always stayed right with him. As they went down the tower, into the ambulance, and into the hospital, the woman was always holding him so he could see Papa. 

Until they handed him off to the doctors inside the hospital. The ones with green suits and white jackets. Then they started to push him away on a wheely bed and Peter wasn’t allowed to follow. Neither did the doctors that brought him there. 

Peter saw Papa disappear behind a set of big doors and he screamed. He screamed as loud as he could. Even if it only hurt his throat even more, he screamed until he needed to stop and take a breath. Then he screamed again. 

He got strange looks. Some of the people trying to quiet him looked annoyed. Good. He hoped he was annoying them enough to give him back to his Papa. But when he was taking a breath between screams, he heard the woman holding him whisper, “If you keep acting like this, they’re not going to let you see him. You have to be quiet while they help him. Please.” 

That stopped Peter from screaming again. He sniffled and wiped his nose as he stared up at her. “I want Papa.” 

“Not yet,” she replied, but he could tell she was getting tired of answering the same thing. “For now, I’m going to take you to a friend, okay?” 

Peter felt a little happier at that. A friend. She must have been talking about Nat. Nat promised to meet him here. He sniffled again. After all that crying, he was starting to feel just as sick as he did when Papa was taking care of him. 

He let the woman walk down the hallway, away from where Papa was. He wanted to be by his side, but he trusted Nat. If he was with Nat at least he would be with someone he knew. 

But when she opened the door to the room she stopped in front of, Nat wasn't waiting for him. It was a woman he didn't recognize in a suit. Which was weird because usually, only boys wore suits like that. But he couldn't be distracted by her funny outfit. He was too worried that he didn't know this woman. She was a stranger. And the emergency doctor was going to leave him with her. 

"That's not Nat!" Peter yelled, clinging onto her shirt. Maybe she didn't know.

"Nat?" The woman didn't even know who Nat was. "No, she's a social worker that works in the hospital. She's going to stay with you until someone else can get you or your father can watch you." 

"Nat can!" Peter said, holding onto her shirt tighter as she walked closer to the woman in the suit. 

"If she is a family friend, then she can come and pick you up as soon as we get a hold of her," the woman said. She was smiling at Peter, but Peter didn't like her smile. He didn't think it was a nice one. 

Then he was given to the other woman and Peter wanted to kick and scream, but then he remembered the other woman's warning. He couldn't misbehave or else they wouldn't let him see Papa. So he stayed quiet and let the woman hold him. 

The other woman left the room after ruffling his hair and telling him to be a good boy. Then it was just him and the suit lady. She was still smiling at him. He squirmed to try and get down, but she held him tighter. "What's your name, little guy?" 

Peter kept his mouth shut. Papa told him to never tell strangers things about himself. This last was a stranger. 

"Shy, huh? Well, my name is Dr. Lorina Dodson. You can call me Dr. Dodson." 

Peter stared at her smile, waiting for it to disappear. But even after she told him her name, she was back to that same smile. 

"I want Papa." He didn't like her. 

"I can't give you back to your Papa if I don't know who you are." 

Peter thought about her words and realized she had a point. He needed to tell her some things to find Papa. She couldn't be a bad stranger. Not if the other doctor left him with her. "My name is Peter." 

"Nice to meet you, Peter." She sat down on the couch behind her and finally let go of him. Peter got out of her lap and hurried to sit as far as he could from her on the couch. 

Looking over at the door, he said, "Does Nat know where I am? She's coming." 

"Who is Nat?" The woman asked, tucking some of her long red hair behind her ear. Her hair reminded him of Nat's, except much longer. 

"She's my friend," he answered, watching her now pick up some papers and a pen off the table. 

"Your friend? How old is your friend?" Doctor...doctor something (Peter already forgot her name. It started with a D…) asked him, looking confused. 

Peter looked back with the same amount of confusion. How was he supposed to know that? He didn't even know how old Papa was. He only knew his age. He was four. "Old." 

"Is she an adult?" 

Peter frowned. He thought doctors were supposed to be smart. How could a kid come to pick him up at a hospital? "Yes." 

"Do you have her phone number? Any way we could contact her? A last name?" 

Peter remembered JARVIS saying it earlier when he called her, but Peter couldn't remember exactly what it was. Not when he was so worried about his Papa. "She's coming. She called for help." 

"So she was there when it happened?" 

Peter groaned. He hated all of these questions. He just wanted Papa. "No. JARVIS called her. She's working." 

Doctor Something gave him a look like he did something wrong. "I'm sorry if these questions are bothering you, but the quicker we get through them, the sooner I can call your friend."

She was already coming! What did this lady not understand? "Nat is comin'." 

"Can you tell me what happened, Peter?" She asked ignoring him. 

He wanted to ignore her too, but she was the one stopping him from seeing Papa. He had to be a good boy. "Papa fell when he was making me breakfast. I called his name and tried waking him up, but he kept sleepin'."

The memory of watching Papa fall to the floor was back when he squeezed his eyes shut. He let out a little whine and wished his Papa was there to hear it and pull him in for a hug. 

Instead, the other woman was. She pulled him back over into her lap and smoother the top of his head. "I bet that was scary, huh?" 

Peter nodded his head. He didn't want to be with this woman, but he didn't want to be alone. "Uh-huh," he sniffled, rubbing his nose. 

"Do you know why he fell? Did he hit his head?" 

Peter shook his head. The memory played again. Papa tripping. Papa's eyes rolling until he could only see white. Papa falling. Papa not waking up. "I don't know!" 

"Hey, it's okay--." 

The door slammed open before she could continue. "What the hell is going on in here?" 

Peter turned to the doorway where Nat was standing. She was still wearing her apron and hat from work. She looked angry, but Peter wanted to be in her arms. 

He reached his arms out and called her, "Nat!" 

Hearing him crying made Nat's face soften as she hurried over. "Oh, honey, it's okay. I'm here. I told you I'd be here." 

When Nat was close enough to take him, the woman pulled him closer to her. "I'm sorry and you are?" 

Nat's angry face was back and she crossed her arms over her chest. "Natasha Romanoff. I'm here for Peter."

"See! That's Nat!" Now that she knew who Nat was, she had to let him go.

"You'll have to fill out a few forms if you plan to watch him while his father is unable to. We cannot just hand a child over to a stranger." The woman was patting his head again. 

"Funny. You seem to be the only stranger to him in this room." 

"I wanna go with Nat!" Peter yelled and squirmed in her lap. "She's my friend!" 

The woman stood up. "What relation do you have to the child?" 

"He's my Godson," Nat said and Peter frowned. He didn't know what a Godson was, but he was pretty sure that he wasn't Nat's. 

"Do you mind filling out some paperwork for us? We're not sure how temporary this care will be." The woman started to hand her the papers she was holding. 

"Of course. I can fill those out after you give me Peter." 

Nobody in the room moved after that. Peter let out another whine to remind them that he just wanted to see his Papa. That had the woman handing Peter over to Nat. 

Nat took him in her arms and he curled against her chest. She held him under his butt with one hand while the other rubbed his back. He hid his face in her shoulder as he tried to stop his crying. Rocking him gently, she whispered, "It's okay, baby. It's okay." 

"I want Papa!" He cried and wiped his nose on her shirt. He hoped she didn't mind. Papa never did. 

"We're gonna see him soon. The doctors are just checking up on him to see what's wrong." Nat kissed the top of his head as she continued to rock him. 

Peter couldn't see either of them, but he could still hear them. The woman spoke first. "He's very...light for his age, no?" 

Nat held him tighter. "Peter's a picky eater with a fast metabolism. Is that a crime now?" 

"Why did his father pass out?" 

Peter whined, digging his face deeper into Nat. Why did that lady have to keep bringing it up? He heard Nat make a sound that sounded almost like a growl. "This is a conversation we can have another time, don't you agree?" Nat didn't wait for an answer before she was walking away, hopefully to the door. 

"I can't drop this. It is my job to make sure the child is safe," the lady called. 

Nat opened up the door and said, "If you knew anything about him, then you'd know he's safe." Then she walked again and shut it behind her. 

Peter lifted his head up to look up at her. "I thought she wasn't gonna let me see Papa." 

"No one's stopping you from seeing him, Pete," Nat said in her soft voice again.

"Was she trying to take me?" Peter asked, looking back at the door. "Papa talked about people taking me to a better home." He felt his eyes well up with tears again. "I don't want to leave Papa." 

Nat hugged him tight and kissed his head again. "You're not leaving Papa. No one is taking you away. Your Pops takes good care of you. There is no reason to." 

"What if she tries to take me 'gain?" 

Nat chuckled. "If she even tries, not only will she have to fight me, but she will also have to fight your pops and Tony. No one is ever going to take you. Promise." 

Peter let out a sigh and laid back down on her shoulder as he closed his eyes. Good thing he didn't have to worry about that lady anymore. Now he just had to worry about when Papa woke up. 

_ Papa tripping.  _

_ Papa's eyes turning white.  _

_ Papa falling.  _

Peter's eyes snapped back open. He whimpered and Nat rubbed his back again. 

"It's okay." 

Peter wanted to tell her she was wrong. She wasn't there. She didn't have to see Papa. Because if she saw him then she would know it wasn't okay. 

Nothing was okay. 

Not until Papa was awake. 

* * *

“I don’t think I’m supposed to be in here,” Peter whispered as shrunk himself into a tighter ball against Nat’s chest. He coughed a little and wiped his nose. 

“And why not?” Nat asked as they walked down the hallway. It was a long hallway and even though Peter wasn’t supposed to be here, he just wanted to see Papa. 

“I’m not healthy. Feelin’ sick.” 

“Well, Papa was with you all weekend already. So I think if he was gonna get sick, he already would have gotten sick.” 

Peter nodded his head. That made sense...he already sneezed in his face so-- Peter shot up off Nat’s chest, but she kept her hand on his back to keep him from falling. “Nat, this is my fault!” 

“Peter, what are you talking about?” 

Peter shook his head, squirming in her arms. “I sneezed on Papa. I sneezed right on his face.” It was his fault. Peter was the reason that Papa was in the hospital. 

Nat laughed, but Peter didn’t think it was funny. Papa was hurt because of him. “You sneezed on him? Right on his face? Tell me you’re joking.” 

Peter wished he was joking. “N-No. That’s why he’s here. I got him sick.” He felt his eyes burn up. That meant he was going to cry soon. 

Nat stopped laughing and made her voice softer. “Hey, no, Pete. It wasn’t your fault. I promise you.” 

“B-But I sneezed on his face.” Peter sniffled again, scrubbing at his eyes. 

“You did,” Nat, smiling again. “And I think that’s kinda funny if I’m honest, but that didn’t make him sick.” 

“Then why did he fall?” Peter felt his nose start to run again so he kept wiping his nose. 

“I don’t know yet, but I know for sure that it wasn’t your fault.” She grabbed his hand when he went to rub his nose again. “Why don’t we get you a tissue?”

“I hurt Papa,” Peter said, crying harder. “I hurt him.”

Nat kept walking, shaking her head. “No, you didn’t hurt him. You saved him. You’re the one that called for help.” She stopped outside another door and rubbed his back softly. It wasn’t like Papa did it, but it was still nice. “Why don’t we clean you up and then we’ll go see Papa? Does that sound good?”

“I wanna see Papa.” 

“We will see in two minutes,” Nat said, opening the door to the room she stopped in front of. “Right after we clean those boogers off your face because you’re not gonna sneeze on my face.” 

Peter covered his nose. He didn’t want to hurt Nat too. “M’sorry,” he said. 

“No apologizing, Boogers.” She grinned, sitting him on the counter. They were in a bathroom. “Can you sit here while I get some toilet paper? No jumping off. Your P ops will kill me if you get hurt on my watch.” 

Peter’s eyes widened as he watched her disappear into one of the stalls. “Are we in the girls' room?”

“I’m sure as heck not in the boys’ room,” she said as she walked back over to him. He hoped no other girls came in here while he was here. He shut his eyes so that he wouldn't see. Nat came back to his side and laughed. "You don't have to close your eyes. It's okay, kiddo."

Peter peeked his eyes open and looked over at the sink she sat him next to. She handed him the tissue, but he didn’t look away from the sink. He frowned as he looked back at Nat. “I took a ba’f with Papa.” 

“Taking a bath with Papa will not get him sick. Not enough to put him here.” She pushed the tissue against his nose. “Blow, baby.” 

Peter blew his nose as hard as he could and Nat made a face. Papa never made a face when Peter was gross. Unless he sneezed in his face. Or ate his boogers. “That good?”

She used another tissue to clean his nose. She smiled down at him. “Need another blow?”

Peter shook his head. “I don’t need that.” 

“You definitely needed that tissue, kiddo.” Nat reached over and threw his tissues out in the garbage. 

“No. I don’t need a ba’f.” 

“I’m not giving you a bath, kid. I’m just cleaning your snotty face.” 

Peter turned back to the sink and pointed at it. “That’s too small for me.” 

Nat froze. “Oh…Peter, baby...no, you don’t need to take a bath. Especially not in the sink. You have a tub at Tony’s, right? 

“No,” Peter answered. 

“No, then-- what? What do you mean?” Nat sounded worried. 

“He has a pool. With lights and cool jet things.” 

Nat sighed. “Oh, a pool. Makes sense.” She paused before she said, “But, Pete, you know that you don’t need to shower in sinks anymore. You don’t have to do any of that and maybe...maybe don’t mention any of that stuff to that lady you were with.” 

“I won’t!” Peter said as quickly as he could. “I didn’t say anything to her. I know to keep a secret. I promise I won’t tell anyone. I promise, Nat. I do. I promise--.” 

“Hey, hey, honey,” Nat said, taking his hands in hers. She leaned down so their eyes were level like Papa did when he was upset. He wanted Papa. “I know you’re not. You’ve been so good about it. Really. You’ve got so much on your shoulders. I’m proud of you...so proud. You take on so much.” 

Peter felt his eyes burning even though Nat was being nice. “I just want Papa. I want Papa.” He felt his nose start running again as he cried.  _ “I just want Papa.”  _

Nat picked him up again and held him close. She started to hush him and bounced him gently. It was comforting enough to stop him from crying. He wished it was. “I know you want Papa. How about we go see him?” 

“I want Papa,” he said, wiping his face on her shirt. 

“You’re so lucky I love you, kid. Because you totally just blew your snot on my shirt. Not cool, dude.” She didn’t push him away though, which Peter was happy for. Just because she wasn’t as good at comforting him as Papa was, didn’t mean that didn’t like it. 

“See Papa now.” 

“Yup, of course,” she said, walking out of the bathroom. “We’ll go see Papa now.” 

Peter tried to keep his mouth closed. He didn’t want anyone to hear him cry. Especially that lady. She would try to take him away from Papa if she knew he was upset. Nat continued to hush him and run his back as they walked down the hallway. She didn’t stop by any more doors and when she opened a door, Peter hid his face deeper in her shirt. The last time he saw Papa, he looked so sick and hurt. It scared Peter. 

Nat rubbed the back of his head and whispered, “It’s okay, Pete. Papa is okay. He’s just sleeping.” She continued walking, but Peter didn’t move from his spot. “Hey, Steve,” she said in a louder voice. “I brought a visitor for you.” 

Peter picked his head up and frowned up at her. “Why’re you talking to him when he’s sleeping?”

Nat smiled. “I think he can still hear us, Pete. Maybe hearing us will help wake him up. You can look over at him. Nothing scary.” 

Peter believed her and took a deep breath before turning around. There was Papa laying in the hospital bed. He looked much better than he did on the kitchen floor. He looked like he was just asleep. “He’s sleepin,” Peter whispered. 

“Yeah, honey, just sleeping. Why don’t you tell him you’re here and that he can wake up now.” 

Peter nodded his head. Papa always woke up for him. “Papa, I’m here now for you. The doctors took me ‘way...but Nat brought me back. You gotta wake up now. Please. I miss you.” 

“He’ll be up soon, Pete. I bet if you take your nap, by the time you wake up, he’ll be up.” 

“No,” Peter said. “We need Mr. Tony. He needs to come back.” 

“I called him on the way here. He’s going to get here as soon as he can. I bet he’s already on the fastest jet to get back home.” 

“He needs to be here now to wake up Papa,” Peter said, staring at him as he continued to sleep. 

Why wasn’t he waking up? Didn’t he hear Peter? Didn’t he know how scared he was?

“Why’s that?”

“True love’s kiss. That always wakes up the princess.” Peter had this part of his story planned. Papa was supposed to be the King, but he figured true love could work on kings too. 

Nat laughed. “He’s a princess, huh?”

“No. He’s the King. I’m the Knight.” 

“And what does that make me?” Nat asked. 

“You’re my friend.” 

Nat pulled him in for a hug but Peter didn’t look away from Papa. “Aw, you’re a very sweet knight.” 

“Mr. Tony needs to come in and give Papa a kiss. True love will wake him up. Just like in the stories.” Peter couldn’t focus on anything but Papa waking up. 

“Well, there are many kinds of true love. I think he loves you a lot. Why don’t you try giving him a kiss?” Nat sat up straighter to let him move off her lap. Peter didn’t. 

“I can’t.” He couldn’t. It wouldn’t work. Papa knew what Peter did. It was Peter’s fault they were out of their home. It was Peter’s fault that he lost his jobs. It was Peter’s fault that Papa couldn’t be happy with Tony. It was Peter’s fault that Papa was always worried. It was Peter’s fault that Papa was in here. Papa knew all of that. There was no way Papa could still love him enough for Peter to break the curse. 

“Why can’t you? True love works on parents and children. You ever see Maleficent?” 

Peter wasn’t sure what that was, but Nat didn’t know just how much Peter messed up. “I’m just gonna pray for him. Papa would like that.” 

“Oh, yeah?” 

Peter nodded his head and folded his hands together like he remembered Papa doing so in church. He prays to a star named God if you want to help. I just talk to every star. I talk to any star that can help.” 

Nat nodded her head and copied Peter’s position. “I would love to help you, Pete.” 

Peter closed his eyes and he started to pray. “Dear stars, please help my Papa. He’s really sick and I just want him to wake up. I miss him.” He wasn’t sure what else to say. He didn’t want to ask for too much and seem greedy. “Oh! Please, and thank you!”

“That was a very good prayer,” Nat said, ruffling his hair. 

“I hope it works.” Peter lifted his thumb to his mouth to suck on. 

“You know, I really think it would be a good time for a nap now,” she said in a soft voice like she didn’t want to wake up Papa. “Go give him his kiss and take a nap.” 

Peter sucked on his thumb harder. He wanted to give Papa a kiss, but he was too afraid. If he gave him a kiss and Papa didn’t wake up, then that meant he really was mad at him for everything that happened. 

She stood up anyway and carried him over to Papa’s bed before lowering him to the mattress. Peter wanted to hold onto her and not let go. What if he hurt Papa again? “Go snuggle with Papa. It’s okay.” 

Peter stared up at her for a second before nodding his head and crawled over to Papa’s chest. He turned back to Nat and she gave him another smile. He turned back to Papa and laid himself right on top of his chest where he could hear the  _ thump thump.  _

“Don’t you wanna cuddle up between his arm and side? That’s probably comfier.” 

Peter shook his head. This is where he liked to sleep. This is where he felt safest. He closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep, but he couldn’t. He waited a few seconds before he opened his eyes again and saw Nat still staring down at him. 

“You want your kiss, huh?” 

“But--.” 

“Give him a kiss, kiddo. You never know.” 

Peter hesitated before pushing himself up off Papa’s chest and leaned over to get closer to Papa’s face. He stopped when he was close. He was so afraid...but he tried to ignore that and just hope that Papa still loved him after everything he did wrong. He leaned forward more until his lips touched the top of Papa’s cheek (he didn’t like kissing all the hair on the bottom of his face). 

Papa didn’t move when Peter kissed him and he didn’t move even after he pulled himself away and hid back in Papa’s chest. His own heart was thumping so hard he couldn’t hear Papa’s. What if he didn’t wake up? What would Peter do if--?

“Pete…” Papa’s weak voice interrupted his thoughts. 

Peter jumped up, still sitting on Papa’s chest. His eyes were wide as he stared at Papa’s face. His eyes were barely open as he looked over at him, but they were open. Peter leaned closer so he could see his eyes better and he smiled when he saw the blue of Papa’s eyes. “Your eyes so blue ‘gain!” 

Papa groaned. “What?”

“They’re blue.” Peter leaned forward and did his best to hug Papa when he was still laying down. “I missed you.” 

“I missed you too, sweetie,” Papa said, but he sounded confused and tired. 

“And you woke up when I kissed you,” Peter said, smiling so hard his cheeks hurt. “You still love me.” 

Papa blinked a few times. “Of course, I still love you, bear. I will always love you.” 

Peter felt his eyes start to cry again, but he was pretty sure these were happy tears. He hugged Papa so tight that no one would be able to ever take him away. It took a few seconds, but Papa put his own hand on Peter’s back to hold him close too. 

When Papa spoke, Peter knew he wasn’t talking to him. “What’s goin’ on?”

Nat laughed from somewhere behind them. “Buckle up, princess. We’ve got quite a lot to catch you up on.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're in the endgame now
> 
> also, if there are in inaccuracies (and i know there's bound to be) please don't take it to heart. Obviously, some things are changed just for fanfiction purposes. Thank you for understanding.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late in the day, but here's the longest chapter yet. sorry for the mistakes didn't wanna spend any more time on this to edit more than once tbh

Peter fell asleep soon after Steve woke up. Once he was asleep, Nat explained everything to Steve. It didn’t take much for Steve to remember falling and seeing Peter being terrified. Steve hated that Peter had to go through it alone. He had to see him fall and try to wake him up and then call for help. 

Apparently, his body was overworked: too much stress and not enough food and sleep. Natasha was glaring at him the entire time the doctor was telling them the results of all the tests. 

Once the doctor left, Steve got the lecture. “You have to take care of yourself, Steven.” 

“Steven?” Steve parroted as he continued to run his fingers through Peter’s hair. He was sound asleep in his arms still and Steve hoped he stayed sleeping for as long as he could. “Sound like my ma.” 

“Good,” Natasha said, keeping her voice low. “You are a moron, you know that?”

Steve shrugged his shoulders. “So I’ve been told.” 

Natasha sighed and when she spoke again, her voice wasn’t as harsh. “Steve, you’ve got to take care of yourself. You can’t just not eat or sleep for three days.” 

“Peter was sick,” Steve said. He probably still was. “I was more focused on him.” 

“That’s the problem! You can’t focus all of your energy and attention on Peter! Your health is just as important. And before you even try to argue that, let me say this: if you’re not healthy then you can’t take care of him if you’re sick. That’s exactly what happened here. You overworked yourself so much that you put yourself in the hospital, leaving Peter all alone.” 

Steve didn’t need that reminder to feel guilty about what happened. “I screwed up. I know. Please don’t remind me.” 

“I’m not telling you to make you feel bad,” Nat said, pulling her chair closer to Steve’s bed. “I just want you to understand that your health is just as important. Even if you don’t think so, it is. And I know that you told the doctors that you’ve just been slacking on the self-care for a few days, but both of us know that it’s been more than that. Can you even tell me the last time you let yourself have a meal without giving some to Peter or the last night you let yourself sleep without staying awake to watch Peter?”

Steve wanted to answer, but that answer would be long before they were kicked out on the street. He’d been putting Peter before everything (unhealthily) ever since his mother passed. It had been years. Months of it being bad enough to make him sick. 

“That’s what I thought…” She sighed. “Why didn’t you call me, Steve? I could have helped you take care of Peter.” 

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I just didn’t think about it.” 

Natasha sighed heavily. “You have help, Steve. You have me and you have Tony.” She reached over and put her hand on his arm. “You’re not in this alone.” 

He knew that. He did...but sometimes it was just hard to remember. “I’m sorry.” 

She shook her head with a sigh. “It’s okay. I just worry about you. I love Peter and he’s important, but so are you. I wish you knew that.” 

Steve closed his eyes and just enjoyed the feeling of Peter snoring softly (so, he still was a little sick) in his arms. “I just want to go back to the tower. I’m fine. I’ll remember to eat.” 

“I know, but you’re going to have to stay here for a few more hours at least. They want to keep an eye on you and...we may have another visitor.” Nat sounded a little anxious when she said that. 

Steve frowned. “Who?” 

“It was just some woman from social services. She was watching Peter before I could get here…” 

The rest of her words were unheard by Steve because he was too busy starting to panic. There was a social worker with Peter? Why was a social worker involved? Steve held Peter tighter in his arms and he felt his chest rising and falling rapidly. “Wh--What did she want? Why did she have Peter?”

“She’s in charge of watching kids when their parents are in the emergency rooms and there aren’t any guardians to watch them. I came as fast as I could, but it wasn’t fast enough. I’m sorry.” She sounded sorry and Steve didn’t blame her at all, but that didn’t stop his worrying. 

“What did she say? Why is she coming back?” A thousand different scenarios were running through his mind. Did Peter say anything to her? 

“She said I needed to fill out forms to watch on him, but now that you’re awake, I don’t think that’ll be a problem. She made a comment about him being safe. I know it’s her job, but I didn’t like her attitude.” 

Steve was holding Peter as tightly as he could. “I can’t let him go, Natasha,” he said in a low voice. “I can’t.” 

She leaned forward on the seat and squeezed his arm. “You’re not. I promise. When Tony gets here, he can have his fancy lawyers to tell her to fuck off back to hell.” 

“Tony’s coming?” Steve’s eyes widened. “He-- he was at a business meeting. He’s not supposed to be back until Sunday night.” 

“Well, today is Sunday. Sunday afternoon. And I called him this morning. He should be here soon.” 

Steve felt like the world’s biggest burden. “I’m sorry. I should have eaten something or just made sure I wasn’t going to pass out. If I had passed out when Peter was having an asthma attack, he would have d-died and it would have been my fault.” 

Nat’s voice was firm as she said, “No. Stop that. Peter’s okay. He’s breathing. You helped him.” 

“He had three asthma attacks this morning,” Steve said quietly, a lump growing in his throat. “Only hours before I passed out. I could have killed him.” 

“But you were there, Steve. You were there for him. And if you weren’t, you wouldn’t have _killed_ him. It wouldn’t have been your fault.” 

“Yes, it would be. It’s exactly what you told me before.” 

Natasha hesitated. “Steve, I didn’t mean it like that-- I didn’t know how bad it had gotten or else…” 

“But that’s the thing. It  _ was  _ that bad. God, Nat, it was _so_ bad and he needed me. I was so focused on him that I didn’t even think about me. Even though I’m the one that protects him and keeps him safe. So, if even just because I need to be there for Peter, I need to keep myself healthy.” 

Nat gave him a small smile. “I wish you kept yourself alive for yourself, but even if right now you’re only thinking of Peter, at least it’s encouraging to take care of yourself more.” 

“I just want him safe,” Steve whispered, kissing the top of Peter’s head. 

“And he is.” She stood up and ruffled peter’s hair gently. “I’m gonna go find that bitch and let her know you’re awake and see what forms she needs from me before she comes looking. I’ll keep her away.” 

Steve nodded his head. “Thank you.” He wanted that woman far away and even though he'd never even seen her face, there was no one he was more terrified of. 

“No problem, Steve.” Then she was gone, leaving Peter and him alone. 

Steve didn’t mind being alone with Peter. It was what he was used to. He would have preferred it if they were snuggled up somewhere other than the hospital, but as long as it was him in the bed and not Peter he couldn’t complain. Not too much at least. 

Once it was just them, Steve closed his eyes and pulled the thin sheet tighter around Peter. He felt horrible for scaring Peter. When he first woke up, he heard how scared Peter was. Peter even asked if Steve loved him. Did Peter not know that Steve loved him with all his heart and did everything just for him? 

He must have done something wrong if Peter really thought that there could ever be a moment where Steve didn't love him. He never wanted his son to think he didn't love him. He'd make sure the minute he woke up, the first thing Steve said to him was  _ I love you.  _

"Please, God," he whispered. "Please keep Peter safe and happy in my arms please."

He was certain that a moment later when he heard his door opening that God hadn't been listening. It was the social worker coming to take Peter away. Wasn't Natasha supposed to stop her? Natasha wasn't even here to help. Steve wasn't strong enough to fight because he would fight if that's what was necessary to keep Peter safe. The only way they would get Peter from his arms was if they managed to get him from Steve as he kicked and screamed. He'd pull a Peter level tantrum. 

All he could do now was pull the sheet up higher so it covered Peter completely. Maybe the social worker wouldn't notice the lump on his chest.

But the person that came rushing into the room wasn't the social worker. It was Tony. 

"Steve, oh my God!" He ran over to his side and immediately leaned down to squeeze him in a hug. Steve used one arm to wrap around Tony and hug him right back. 

"Just, uh, be careful," he said, causing Tony to pull away. Steve smiled bashfully as he uncovered the sheet to show him where Peter was still sleeping. 

Tony let out a relieved laugh. "Why am I not surprised?" He reached out and flattened down the curls that were sticking up every which way. "I came as fast as I could. Nat called. I'm so sorry I wasn't there." 

"Don't blame yourself for something that wasn't your fault," Steve said.

"What happened?" Tony sat on the edge of the bed. He took Steve's hand in his and squeezed it so tight. 

"I fainted. Wasn't eating or sleeping enough." He chuckled, avoiding Tony's gaze. 

"Steve...I told you to take care of yourself." 

"I know, I know. And I've gotten this lecture already. Lesson learned. Can we just maybe...not bring it up?" He didn't want the constant reminder at what would have happened if he had passed out while Peter was still sick. What if he passed out while they were in the bath? Peter didn't know how to swim; he would have drowned--.

"Of course. Whatever you what, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." Tony started to pull over the chair when Steve's stomach made a loud growl. "Or maybe I could go somewhere real quick to get you food." 

Steve felt his cheeks blush. "You don't have to worry about that--." 

"When was the last time you ate?" Tony asked, setting his hands on his hips. 

"Uh…" Tony was not going to like his answer. "Friday morning. When we had breakfast." 

Tony's eyes would have shot out of his head if they could.  _ "Friday morning?  _ Jesus, Steve, you're worse than me." 

"Peter was sick," Steve said lamely. "I didn't even think…" 

"No, it's fine. We're gonna fix it now. I will be right back with the best hospital food money can buy." His eyes flickered down to Peter. "I'll pick something up for the kiddo too. You said he was sick, so something cool on his throat?" 

Steve smiled. God, he missed Tony. "Yes, please. And thank you." 

Tony leaned down and kissed his lips chastely. “You got it, love.” Then he was out of the room with one last smile thrown back over his shoulder. 

“Oh, Petey,” Steve whispered to him as he continued to sleep. “Your Papa has it bad.” 

* * *

His alone time with Peter didn’t last long until the door was opening again and Natasha walked in...alone. Steve still held his breath until she said, “I think we’re good...I talked to her and told her that if she wanted to make this messy then she’d have to deal with Tony Stark’s lawyers and she didn’t seem too eager to keep all of this up.” 

“Why’d she even get suspicious in the first place? Her job is literally to sit with children when they’re parents get hurt. Why did she automatically assume something was wrong?” He looked down at Peter, who was still sound asleep in his arms. “Am I that bad of a dad?”

“You’re not a bad dad, Steve,” Natasha said immediately. “I don’t know what her deal is, but you’re the best dad for him. You’re perfect for him. Believe me. That kid loves you.” 

Steve scoffed. “So that’s why he was surprised when I said I still love him.” 

“He’s just been having a rough time. He was scared about what happened. Especially when you fell. He was really shaken up.” 

Steve pressed a kiss to the top of his head to try and keep himself calm. “He was worried about the blue in my eyes and he asked me if I loved him-- of course I love him. I love him so much.” 

“He just wasn’t sure. He was talking about a true love’s kiss. He wanted Tony to come back and kiss you and wake you up like in Snow White.” Nat was smiling softly. “Luckily, you woke up after he did.” 

“Well, there was a toddler on my chest.” Not that Steve would have him anywhere else. 

“I told him to sleep on the actual bed.” 

“He prefers to crush my lungs, Steve said. “It’s a talent of his.” 

“I’m glad he’s getting some sleep after everything. You still need more sleep too though.”

“I can’t sleep,” Steve sighed. “With everything going on...especially this social worker. I know you said it was over, but I just...am terrified of her finding out. If she knew Peter didn’t have a home then she’d take him away so fast.” 

“You’ve got the tower. You’ve got my apartment. He has a home now and we’re gonna get him some more food--.” 

Steve’s head snapped up to stare at her. “How did you know-- he’s been eating. He has.” 

“Shit, I shouldn’t have-- she just made a comment about his weight and he is a little under for his age, but we can fix that. In a few weeks, he’ll be back to normal.” She tried to laugh, but it fell short of being amused. “Maybe we’ll have to get him some more fruity pebble donuts. 3 a day. At least.” 

“He’s going to get the baby fat back. 4T-- or 3T pants will fit him soon at least. JARVIS has been helping me look up different ways to help him put some more weight back on and--.” 

“You’re losing weight too.” 

“I’m fine.” 

Natasha sighed but thankfully, dropped it. “Well, don’t worry about losing Peter, okay? Your job right now is to take care of yourself and get better. Drink, eat, and sleep.” 

“Tony’s getting me food now. Something for Peter too.” 

“Speaking of Tony, I really think you should tell him.” 

“You know why I can’t tell him, Nat. He wouldn’t understand.” Steve sighed, leaning back on the pillow. 

“What wouldn’t I understand?”

Steve’s blood ran cold when he heard Tony's voice from the doorway. 

Natasha stood up from the chair and cleared her throat. “I think that’s my cue to go. You two enjoy your talk…” She walked right past Tony when she left the room but he still didn’t move. 

“It’s nothing, Tony…” 

Tony crossed his arms over his chest. “No. I think it was something-- I  _ know  _ it was something...and you know what? I know something has been up. You’re too good to be true.” 

“Tony…”

Tony walked into the room, shutting the door behind him. He didn’t sit down. He stood at the foot of his bed and stared at him with his arms still crossed over his chest. “Steve.”

Steve didn’t want to tell him. He never wanted to tell him. But there was no way he could avoid this and act like it didn’t happen. And he was in a hospital bed with Peter on his chest, so there was no way he could run from this situation. That was his usually Plan A. Plan B was...okay he didn’t have a Plan B. 

_ “Steve,”  _ Tony said again. 

“Tony, I don’t know what you want me to say,” Steve said, avoiding his look. 

“I want you to just be honest. Tell me what Nat was talking about.” 

“We were just worried about a social worker sticking her nose in Peter and my business.” He ended it with that, hoping it was enough. 

“Wow.” 

Steve looked up at Tony for the first time since he’d come in and frowned. “What?”

“Peter and you. Just  _ your business. _ I thought we were in this together...but, I’m not surprised. It’s always you and Peter.” 

Steve’s frown deepened and he held Peter just a little closer. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Tony huffed. “It means exactly that, Steve! I get it, I do. He’s your son, but I’m here too. I’m trying and I can’t do that if you just--.” 

“If I just what?”

“Steve, I drop  _ everything  _ for you two. For him. And I don’t mind. I love you. I love him. I love to be there for you both when you need me, but I ask one thing in return. I just want to know what you’re hiding. What you think I won’t understand. Because I’ve been  _ very  _ understanding between searching for stuffed elephants at all hours of the night and letting him sleep between us every single night. I think that I--.” 

“We’re homeless.” 

Tony stopped talking when Steve said that. He shut his mouth and his eyes went wide. “What?”

“We’re homeless, Tony. We don’t have a home. We were living with Nat when you invited us to the tower and we had only been with her for a week or two.” Now that he said it, he stared Tony right in the eyes, daring him to look away first. 

“You don’t have a home?” 

“No. Peter had an asthma attack and those medical bills took all the money I had saved for rent. So, yeah, we lost our apartment and you know, everything in it. The only thing Peter took was Elliot. That’s why we went searching for a stuffed elephant at all hours of the night. And he can’t sleep away from me because he used my chest a pillow so he didn’t have to sleep on the concrete floor in a warehouse we hid in after someone tried to grab Peter off the street.” 

Tony didn’t say anything for a long time and Steve just stared, wondering what he’d say to that. That was his big secret and even after it was finally out, Steve didn’t feel any...better. His same worries still hung over him. 

“I told you. That’s what you wanted. So say something.” 

When Tony finally responded, he didn’t sound like he normally did. Steve wasn’t sure what he heard in his voice. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why didn’t I tell you?” Steve repeated incredulously. “Why  _ would _ I tell you that? Why would I just go up to you and tell you about how broke I am? So I can be another one of your charities?”

“You’re not a charity case.” 

“How am I supposed to believe that when you talked about Stark Industries donating to another charity for people in shelters? Peter and I lived in a shelter too.” Steve tried to keep his voice down because he knew Peter was still sleeping. 

“Just because I want to help doesn't mean I’m treating you like a charity case, Steve, and I really don’t know why you’re taking this out on me. I’ve done nothing but help you because I  _ love  _ you and you say all of this.”

_ Why are you saying this Steve? Are you trying to push him away? _

_ Maybe I am. If I push him away then he can’t leave me.  _

“But that’s what I am. I’m poor. I’m broke. You’re not. You have so much money it’s unimaginable.” 

Tony ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, and?” 

“We’re different, Tony. We come from different worlds. Why else you want to keep seeing me?”

Tony narrowed his eyes and clenched his jaw. “Is this really how you want to play this game?”

Steve kept his mouth shut, unsure what game they were playing. 

“Fine. Here we go." Tony threw his hands up. "Is this real? Is any of this real?”

“What are you talking about?” 

“Well, like you said: you’re poor, I’m rich. How do I know you’re not just using me for my money? Tony Stark. Super rich, super famous.” He raised his eyebrows as he stared at Steve with a gaze he had never used on him before. 

“I didn’t know. I told you I had no idea,” Steve said. “I didn’t know."

"And what? I'm just supposed to trust you? Like you trust me when I say you're not a charity case." Tony rolled his eyes with a scoff. 

"It's not the same," Steve said. 

"How is it not the same?" Tony practically shouted. 

Peter stirred in his arms and Steve quickly shushed Tony. "Please, Peter--."

Tony didn't hear him though. "It's the exact same thing. I knew we weren't on the same level and I  _ trusted  _ you that you were here for me and not my money! I trusted you, Steve! Do you understand what that means?" 

"I trust you too, Tony," Steve said, desperately trying to end this. Tony could yell at him all he wanted. Just not when Peter was trying to sleep. 

"No, obviously you don't. It's clear that you don't." Tony turned around and started walking towards the door again. 

"Where are you going?" Steve asked, rocking Peter gently in his arms to get him to fall back to sleep. 

"Do you care?" Tony asked, pausing in the doorway. 

"Of course, I care, Tony. I love you."  _ I just have a horrible way of showing it.  _

The anger disappeared from Tony's face and was replaced with a sad upturn of his lips. "You love Peter." 

"I love you too, Tony. You know I do." Steve felt his heart pounding against his chest. Despite trying to push Tony away, he didn't want him to actually leave. The reason he left didn't change his much it hurt. 

Tony stared at him for a long moment and Steve thought he was going to change his mind. He thought he'd come back in, sit down, and they could talk it out. But when he finally spoke again, it wasn't what Steve wanted to hear. "Do I?" 

Before Steve could even think of a response, Tony was out of the room and the door shut behind him. 

Steve stared at the door waiting for him to come back in. Tony couldn't just leave him. Not like this. 

But the longer he stared, the more he realized Tony wasn't coming back. 

It was Steve's turn to chase after him, but he stayed chained to the bed because of the IVs in his arms and Peter on his chest. 

Steve debated ripping the IVs out and laying Peter down to go chase after him, but that thought was chased away when he heard Peter's voice. "You up, Papa?" 

Steve looked down and saw Peter trying to blink and run the sleep from his eyes. He still looked tired, but he was fighting it. "I'm up, baby." 

Peter kept his head nestled on Steve's chest as he asked, "Feelin' better?" 

Steve looked over at the door and tried to swallow past the lump in his throat. He looked down at Peter and admitted, "I've been better bud." 

Peter's eyes widened as he lifted himself up slightly. "You feel sick 'gain?" 

"I'm not sick." 

"Then what's wrong?" Peter tilted his head. "Your eyes are watery. Like you're gonna cry. Wait! Did that mean lady come see you too?" 

Steve frowned. "Mean lady?" 

"Uh-huh," Peter said in a low voice. "She came asking me lots of questions. I told her I just wanted to see you. Nat saved me. I was scared she was gonna take me." 

Steve put an arm on his back and reassured him, "She's not coming to take you away. I think we have Nat to thank for that." 

He had a lot to thank Nat for. There was no telling where Steve would be right now if it weren't for her. There was no telling where  _ Peter  _ would be. 

But he also had Tony to thank. Tony had done so much for him. He fed them, clothed them, and put a roof over their heads. He cared about Peter like he was his own son: he dropped everything just to help him...several times. Tony always did everything for Steve and Peter. 

And how did Steve repay him for all of that?

By being an asshole. 

He chased him away, thinking that would be better than letting him walk away. But maybe Tony wouldn't walk away. Nat didn't. Steve was the one ruining it all.

Tony was gone because of him. 

"I woke you up with true love's kiss. Nat told me so. And I think Nat fought the monster for us. That lady is definitely the monster in our story. I don't like her," Peter said and continued to ramble about why he didn't like the social worker. 

Steve tried to focus on Peter. He was good at focusing on Peter. But for once, his mind was anywhere else. All he could think about was Tony's face during the fight. What was Tony doing right now? Was he okay? 

_ I should have ran after him.  _

"Papa, are you okay?" Peter asked, rubbing his little palm across Steve's cheek. 

"What?" 

"You're crying," Peter said, wiping at his face again. "You don't have to be scared. Nat is super scary to that mean lady. And I won't let her take me from you. I'll hold on tight. The monster is far away! Right?"  

The monster wasn't that social worker, who was only doing her job to watch out for kids. The monster was someone even worse. 

Not only was the monster not able to take care of his son, but he was a dick to the person who loved him most. He hurt everyone he was close with. His son only stuck around because he had to, and even he was in danger of leaving him (but that's what social workers did right? Protect kids from monsters). His boyfriend walked out the door and he couldn't blame him for leaving. And his best friend was probably not too far behind. 

So how could Steve tell Peter that he was okay and the monster wouldn't hurt him? How could he say that when he was in the monsters' arms? How could he tell Peter that he was the one he should be afraid of? 

"Peter, I--."  _ I am the monster.  _ "I love you." 

"I love you too," Peter answered with a small smile.

_ But for how long? How long before you realize what a horrible father I am and leave? How long until I'm truly alone? _

* * *

When Steve woke up again, Peter was asleep again thankfully. He needed his rest to beat that cold he had. Steve rubbed his back softly and whispered to him in a barely distinguishable voice, “You taking a nap, bud? You’ll feel better when you wake up.” 

“So, are you done being a prick?”

Steve’s head snapped up when he heard Natasha’s voice. She didn’t mind her voice, even though Peter was asleep. “H-How long have you been here?”

“Oh, not too long,” Natasha said nonchalantly. “Came in here as soon as Tony was done telling me about what happened--.” 

“He told you?” Steve asked. He didn’t know that Tony was going to her with his problems now. Problems with Steve...

“He didn’t so much as tell me as I pried it out of him. I was waiting outside of your room when he walked out before. Crying.” 

_ You made him cry. That was your fault.  _ “He was crying?” 

“Yes, he was crying. I would be too if my boyfriend said the shit to me that you said to him.” She was narrowing her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Nat, he found out. I had to tell him that Peter and I were homeless.” Steve held Peter just a little bit closer. 

“Did you have to be shit faced to tell him?” She scoffed even though she knew Steve was sober. 

“Natasha, be serious.” 

“I am being serious,” Natasha said. “Very serious.” 

“Then why are you giving me a hard time for just looking out for Peter?”  _ Because I deserve it.  _

Natasha stared down at him for a long moment before pulling a chair closer and sitting down. “Can I talk to you seriously?” 

“Yeah. ‘Course.” 

“Do you know that you’re not just Peter’s father? You’re also Steve Rogers. You’re Tony’s boyfriend. You’re my best friend. You’re your own person.” 

Steve looked down at Peter, who was still sleeping soundly in his arms. “He’s my son.” 

“Yes. I know that. But you also have your own life. One that doesn’t always need to…”

“Need to what?” Steve pressed. 

“Need to make Peter priority number one.” 

Peter would always be priority number one. He was his son. He was his baby. No one was more important than Peter. He was--. 

“Stop.” 

“Stop what?” Steve frowned. 

“Stop overthinking everything. Letting yourself unwind and not always stress about your son isn’t bad. It’s normal.” She no longer looked angry; she just looked kind of concerned, actually.

“Peter needs me. Even though I’ve just failed him time and time again. In fact, I’ve done nothing but make his life harder and--.” 

“Steve, stop. Just-- stop.” Natasha dropped her head into her hands and sighed. “You’re a good father. You don’t need to worry about that. What you need to worry about is how good of a boyfriend you’re being. And right now, you’re not doing so hot on that.” 

“How can I worry about that when I have to worry about being a father?” 

“But you don’t! I’ve said it a million different times!” Natashas practically shouted. “You’re a great father. The best. So, please, worry about yourself for once. Not only yourself but Tony too. You’re not just messing with yourself. You’re messing with Tony too. He’s upset. And he has a right to be.” 

“I don’t want to hurt him. I love him.” 

“You sure have a hell of a way of showing that.” Natasha shook her head a few times. 

“I love him, Natasha,” Steve said again. Why did everyone have such a hard time believing that? 

“So, then you better get a hold of yourself. If you let this continue how it’s going, then you’re going to lose him.” She paused. “Why don’t you try to put Tony on top for once. Peter won’t mind sharing the spotlight.”

“Peter needs me…” 

“Steve, can I ask you another question? Serious question.” 

“Yeah,” Steve said, his mouth feeling dry all of a sudden. 

“Why are you here?”

Steve blinked. She already knew why he was in the hospital. “I didn’t eat or sleep--.”

“Not in the hospital. I mean why are you here on this earth? What is your purpose?”

“What’s with the existential questions?”

“I said it was serious.” 

Steve waited to see if she would change her mind about the question and talk about something else, but she just kept staring. He didn’t even know how to answer that. What was his purpose? He was Peter’s father and it was his job to make sure he was okay and safe. 

“I’ll make this easier for you: do you live for anything other than Peter?” 

Steve thought about the question and he knew she trying to prove a point, but he didn’t understand what was the big deal about living for his son. “Of course. I live for a lot of things. More than just Peter.” 

Natasha sighed and stood up. She walked over and ran her hands through Peter’s hair gently. “You’re a good father. Now it’s time to be a good boyfriend.” 

“Where is he?” Steve asked quietly, staring down at Peter still. 

“I’m not sure. He was curled up in that chair up until a half-hour ago. Wanted to keep an eye on you without bothering you and Peter.” 

Steve’s eyes drifted to the empty chair. Tony was cramped in that chair? Just so he didn’t bother him even though they’d spent many nights together curled up in bed just the three of them. “Oh.” 

“Yeah. Oh. So, you better fix this.” Then she was out of the room, leaving Steve alone with Peter. 

He looked down at him and tucked one of his curls behind his ear (one his Dumbo ears that Steve wondered if he’d ever grow into). “I’m gonna fix everything,” he whispered to him. “Don’t you worry, Pete.” 

Did Steve live for anything other than Peter? 

No, but maybe it was time to change that. 

* * *

Tony didn’t come back into the room until Steve was signed out of the hospital. He expected to see Natasha walk through the door, but it was Tony. 

“Hey, you two,” he said, not in his normal voice. 

Peter jumped from Steve’s lap to the floor. He ran right to Tony’s legs. “Mr. Tony! I missed you!” 

Tony leaned down and lifted Peter up. “I missed you too, munchkin.” He smiled at him, but it didn’t reach his eyes. 

“I thought you weren’t gonna come back.” He leaned on his shoulder and wrapped his arms around him in a hug. 

“Yeah...I was thinking the same thing,” Steve said quietly. “Thought Nat was gonna come and bring us back to her place.” 

Tony gave him a look. “Of course, I’m here to bring you home. You’re living at the tower. Why would you go anywhere else?” 

_ Because I fucked up? Because I treated you like shit?  _

“I’m sorry.” 

“Not now, Steve,” Tony said shortly. 

“Oh...okay. Yeah. Later.” He looked down at his lap as he stood up. He had changed into a t-shirt and sweats but was still feeling a little shaky on his feed. 

Tony hurried to his side and wrapped an arm around his back so he could help steady him. He kept Peter in the other arm as he did so. “Be careful. Don’t want you falling over. We need to get you home and get some more food into you. I don’t think this hospital food is gonna cut it.”

Tony helped walk him out of the room while talking to Peter, “You doing good up here, squirt?” 

“Uh-huh. You takin’ care of Papa?”

“Sure am.” 

Peter kissed Tony’s cheek loudly. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me for taking care of him. I always will.” He turned to look at Steve and said, “No matter what.” 

Peter giggled and leaned his head down on Tony’s shoulder again. 

Steve wished he could relax like Peter did and just pretend like nothing was wrong. But he couldn’t ignore whatever was between the two of them. It was impossible. 

 

The tension continued to grow as they signed all the necessary paperwork, walked out of the hospital fast enough to avoid running into that social worker again, and Happy picked them up to drive them back to the tower. 

When they got inside, Steve tried to catch Tony as he kept walking. “Tony, wait,” he said as he walked towards the elevator. “I thought we were going to talk.” 

Tony’s eyes drifted down to Peter, who was still in his arms, curled against his chest. “You seem a little busy right now. Maybe later.” 

“Tony,--.”

“Don’t sweat it, Steve.” Tony gave him a smile that didn’t look happy. “I’ll see you later. Whenever you’re done with Peter.” Then he was walking into the elevator. “I’m headed to the lab. I’ve got to work on some stuff for Stark Industries.” 

“Oh. Yeah. Okay.” Steve rocked Peter gently as he watched the doors slide shut, leaving Peter and Steve alone. “I’ll just...stay here then…” 

“You okay, Papa?” Peter asked in a quiet voice as he looked up at him. 

“Yeah, bud. Don’t worry about me. Just lots of adult stuff. Don’t you worry about it.” 

“Okay. Can we go eat? My tummy is makin’ noise.” 

“Yeah, bud,” Steve said, still staring at the elevator. “Let’s go eat.” 

When Steve brought him into the kitchen and made him some dinner, he made sure to make a plate for himself. A plate just as full as Peter’s. Sitting down next to Peter at the table, he still watched to see Peter start eating before he started in on his plate. He took a few bites of the meal before he turned to Peter. “You doing okay, baby? Enough to eat.” 

Peter narrowed his eyes and pointed to Steve’s plate. With a full mouth, he said, “Eat!” 

“Okay, okay,” Steve sighed before turning back to his plate. The room felt empty without Tony sitting at the table. “Hey, JARVIS. Does Tony want to come and eat?”

JARVIS replied too quickly for him to have asked Tony.  _ “He asked for me not to disturb him while he’s working.”  _

“He needs to eat,” Steve said, trying not to let the hurt of Tony purposely avoiding him get to him. “Can I bring something to him?” 

_ “He doesn’t wish to be disturbed.”  _

Steve hesitated, wondering if he should ignore that and go see him anyway. 

As if JARVIS read his mind, he said,  _ “He will be up soon. He says not to come down. It’s too dangerous for Peter.”  _

“I can put Peter down for bed and just,” Steve cut himself off with a sigh. “Nevermind. I’ll just wait for him to come up. I’ll remind him to eat then.” 

 

Except he never came up. The hours passed and Tony never showed his face. Steve debated going down there to see him when Peter was distracted with his books, but he didn’t. He was embarrassed and even scared. What if Tony was avoiding him on purpose? What if he didn’t want to have to look at Steve anymore? 

At the end of the night, Steve brought Peter to the bedroom that Tony originally set up for him before Peter found his way in their bed every night. He dressed him in a pair of pajamas and tucked him into bed. 

Before he could walk away, Peter asked, “Can you stay until I fall asleep?”

Steve wanted to say no. He wanted to go downstairs and talk to Tony finally, but he couldn’t say no. Not to Peter. “Okay, bud,” he said as he crawled into bed next to him. Peter immediately found his spot on Steve’s chest. 

“Is Mr. Tony coming to say goodnight?” Peter asked in a quiet voice. 

“I don’t think so, bear.” 

“Why not?”

_ Because I’m an asshole.  _

“He needs a little time to himself.” 

“Is he scared too? Tell him that if he sits with people, it makes it less scary.” Peter snuggled Elliot closer to his chest. He didn’t seem too scared now with Steve. 

Usually, Steve would just be grateful that at least Peter was safe and happy. But Natasha had a point and it was getting Steve to think. There were other people in the world than Peter. There were other people in Steve’s life than Peter. 

So, Peter was safe and happy, but Tony wasn’t. Steve wasn’t okay with that. He wanted to fix that. He wanted to fix them. 

He planned to go downstairs right after Peter fell asleep, but before he knew it, he was asleep and waking up to the sound of Peter crying. That sound always woke him up. He blinked his eyes a few times to try and wake himself up, but that didn’t work as well as Peter’s screech did. Peter started to cry and call out for Steve. “Papa! Wake up!” 

Steve was wide awake now as he sat up in the bed and rocked him gently. “Peter, it’s okay. I’m awake. I’m okay.” 

Peter wasn’t waking up. He only started panicking more. He started to wheeze from his strained breathing and Steve cursed under his breath.  _ Not again.  _ “Peter, you need to calm down or you’re going to give yourself another asthma attack.” They’d gone from having none to 4 in only a few days. 

His cries became indistinguishable as he continued to sob. 

Steve reached his hand into his pocket because he needed to start keeping inhalers on him at every moment. He never knew when Peter would need it. Especially in the winter. He pulled the cap off and rubbed Peter’s back with the free hand. “You’re okay, sweetie. Can you just do me a favor and try to take your inhaler?” He brought it to his lips, but Peter let out a loud screech and smacked Steve’s hand. The inhaler went flying across the room. 

“Peter,” Steve said, feeling lost. “You need that. Please calm down.” 

Peter was still sobbing, crying for Steve even though he was holding him. He just wouldn’t calm down no matter how much he tried. He was never this hard to sooth after a nightmare.

Steve started to cry himself. “Peter, you’re okay, sweetie. It’s okay. Papa’s here.” 

It was like Peter didn’t even hear his voice. Steve felt absolutely helpless. 

Just when he was giving up, the bedroom door slammed open. “What’s wrong?” 

Steve looked up and saw Tony hurrying to the bed. “Peter had a nightmare. I can’t calm him down. I’ve tried everything. Nothing is working. He’s usually okay by now.” He tried again just to see what would happen. “Peter, wake up. Papa is right here. So is Tony. You’re okay.” 

Peter continued to sob and wheeze. 

“He needs to calm down,” Steve told him desperately. “He’s gonna give himself another asthma attack.” 

“I think I have an idea,” Tony said. He hesitated only a moment before he started to pull off his shirt. Steve was desperate enough to not question how that was going to help. Under his shirt was another shirt, this time a tighter undershirt. When this one came off, Steve was surprised to see a blue circle in the center of his sternum. What the hell? 

“J, dim the lights,” Tony said, looking down at Peter and nowhere else. The lights dimmed and Peter only grew more restless. Tony held out his arms, still refusing to look at Steve. “Can I hold him?” 

Steve was frozen still. 

“Steve, give me Peter so I can calm him down. Please.” 

Steve was so confused, but if it was a possible way to calm him down, he wasn’t going to complain. He handed Peter over and Tony cradled him in his arms. The circle in his chest was now glowing in the dark, illuminating Peter’s tear-streaked face. 

Tony softened his voice as he brought Peter up closer to the glowing light. “Look what I’ve got for you, Petey. It’s your star. You’re okay. Everything is okay.” 

Once the light was shining on Peter’s face for a few seconds, he paused his sobbing to peek an eye open. He continued to cry but reached a small hand up and placed it on top of the light. He let out a long whine as he did so. 

“Yeah, squirt. You’re okay. It’s okay. Your star is right here.” 

Peter’s sobs slowly began to slow down and before too long, he was only sniffling with the occasional hiccup. His hand was still holding onto the ‘star’ in Tony’s chest. He used his other hand to rub his nose. 

“It’s okay,” Tony whispered again. “Papa is right here and so am I.” 

“My star,” Peter whispered, his voice hoarse from all his screaming.

“Your star is right here.” 

_ His star?  _ Steve couldn’t stop staring at the glowing...thing in Tony’s chest. What the hell was that? Why did Peter know it was there and why did he call it his star?”

Peter kept his hand on Tony’s chest but turned to Steve. “Papa, you ‘kay?”

When Steve spoke, his voice was shaky. “Yeah, bud. Now that you are I’m okay.” 

He turned back to Tony and asked in a small voice, “You’re back?” 

“Yeah, kid. I’m back.” Tony used a hand to run his fingers through Peter’s sweaty curls. “I’m sorry I needed some time to myself. I didn’t mean to upset you.” 

“Miss you,” Peter said, curling up closer against Tony’s chest as shutting his eyes. 

Steve stayed silent for a few minutes as he watched Peter slowly fall back asleep soundly in Tony’s arms. That was the first time in a long time Peter fell asleep anywhere but Steve’s arms. 

Tony laid down so he could get in a more comfortable position. He sighed heavily and still refused to look anywhere near Steve. 

Steve laid down closer next to him until they were shoulder to shoulder. He stared up at the ceiling, unable to ignore the way that his chest was still illuminating the room. He wanted to ask so many questions, but he didn't know where to start. He didn't even think Tony would want him to start. 

"Tony--." 

"Not tonight, Steve. Please," Tony whispered. 

Steve stayed quiet before he said a soft, "Thank you." 

"You're welcome." 

Then the room was silent again and for the first time since he'd shared a bed with Tony, they didn't curl up together. He didn't even have Peter to hold in his arms. 

He fell asleep feeling cold and alone. 

* * *

The next morning was even more awkward than the night before. When he woke up, Tony was still holding Peter. Except, he had his shirt back on. They didn't speak as Steve got him dressed and ready for school. 

After Steve brought him to school and was back at the tower, Tony was nowhere to be seen. He sighed heavily and turned up to the ceiling. "JARVIS, where is Tony?" 

_ "He is currently working in his lab."  _

"I'm going down there." Steve huffed and started marching his way to the elevator. He had never been to Tony's lab before, but JARVIS could direct him. Hopefully. 

He got in the elevator and the doors shut and started moving on their own, so Steve assumed he got lucky with that. He waited until it stopped and opened again before walking out. 

He walked forward and saw a glass wall and door separating the actual lab area from where he was. He could see Tony leaning over a table and working on something. "Do I have clearance for this room, JARVIS?" 

JARVIS's answer was hesitant.  _ "Yes, you do." _

"Good. Open up." The doors opened for him and he continued to march his way over to where Tony was sitting. His feet made noise against the floor so Tony could definitely hear him coming, but he didn't move. 

Steve stopped just behind him and said, "Tony, we need to talk." 

"Do you finally have time for me?" 

Steve winced at the attitude but didn't argue it. Not when he deserved it. "Tony, I'm sorry. Please, can we just sit and talk? Actually talk. Because yes, I hid a lot from you, but I'm not the only one that has a story to tell." 

"It's none of your business," Tony snapped, hunching further in on himself. 

Steve wanted to know what the hell was going on with his chest and why, but he had no right to demand an answer when he wasn't clean with his secrets either. "Maybe not, but I think if we just sit down and talk, it’ll help--.”

“Talk about what? What can possibly help?”

“Looking at me would be a start.” Steve waited for him to turn around, but he only sighed. “Tony, please.”

With another heavy sigh, Tony turned around his chair and said, “What do you want from me, Steve?” 

“I want you to just listen to me so I can apologize. I shouldn’t have said those things to you. I don’t...I was just upset. I was worried. I don’t think you see me as only a charity. I really do love you.” 

“Steve, I’ve done nothing but help you and Peter since I’ve met you. Not because I think you’re some kind of a charity case, but because I love you both and I just want to help you,” Tony said. 

“I know and I’m sorry--.” 

“You can’t just say you’re sorry and expect it to all be better!” Tony threw his hands up in the air. “What you did was not okay, Steve. You hurt me with all that shit you said.”

“I know--.” 

“Remember when I accused you of using me for my money? Remember how much that hurt?”

Steve felt like an ass. The biggest. “I’m sorry, Tony I really am.” 

“Did you know that you’re the first person I said ‘I love you’ to?” Tony finally looked him in the eyes. “I mean, sure, I’ve said it to Rhodey and Happy...but it’s a different kind of love. It’s not the love I have for you and despite what you did to me, I still love you. That’s how I know it’s real for me. But if it’s not for you and you’re really just using me, I don’t care. If you’re just using me,  I’ll buy you a house. I’ll buy you a car. I’ll buy you a whole new wardrobe. I’ll set you up for life. You won’t have to worry about Peter’s college fund-- just-- I will pay you to get out of my life.” 

Steve found himself speechless. Was Tony really starting to believe that Steve was using him? 

“So, I can’t do this, Steve. I can’t sit here and pour my heart out to you any more than I already have when I don’t know what you’re going to do with it.”

Steve loved Tony and he didn’t want to lose him. Not because he was a dumbass and treated him like shit. He reached forward to grab Tony’s hand, but Tony pulled his arm away. “Tony, you have to believe me when I tell you that I love you with all of my heart and I know that I’ve screwed up again and again, but I’m not going to anymore. I love you and I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you.” 

“Steve…”

“No. Please.” Steve kneeled down in front of him and grabbed his hand before Tony could pull it away. “Just listen.” 

Tony tried to stand up, but Steve didn’t let him. “No, I’m down on my knees here to show you how  _ sorry  _ I am.” 

“Get up, Steve.” 

“Nope. You think Peter made this trick up on his own? With the puppy eyes. I can do it too.” He did his best attempt at giving Tony puppy eyes, but they weren’t as good as Peter’s. “I love you so much. I would do anything for you. Just like you already do everything for me. Just give me a chance. Please.”

“You don’t have to do this. Get up off your knees.” Tony tugged his hand until Steve was on his feet again. 

“You can trust me, Tony. I’m sorry if I made you doubt that, but I promise you can. No more secrets from me. Peter and I were homeless. I went from job to job. We’ve slept in the park. We’ve slept in an abandoned warehouse. We slept in the cafe on those nights you came over. Peter had to leave all of his toys at our apartment. I’m terrified of Child Services taking him away.” 

“You’re not going to lose him, Steve. I’ve got that covered. Nat told me.” Tony paused. “ And you’re not sleeping outside anymore, okay? If you want to, you still have a home here with me. I’m not-- I just need to know you’re not going to hurt me like that again.”    
“I won’t,” Steve said, taking a step closer. “I promise I won’t.” 

“I want to be able to help you. When you need something, please come to me. If you or Peter need anything, I want to help you. Not only financially, but just emotionally even. You both need some help and I mean that in the nicest way--.” 

“I know. I know.” Steve sighed, rubbing the back of his head. “I’ve been looking into it. Separation anxiety for Peter…”

“I can get him a room closer to ours. Right next to ours. I’ll paint it and let him decorate it however he wants. Maybe it’ll help get him to sleep in his room. We can get him a nightlight or--.” 

Steve cut him off with a kiss. It felt like forever since they’d kissed and Steve missed it so much. Despite his kiss tasting more like alcohol than Steve had ever remembered it, even after having a glass of wine occasionally. He continued kissing as Tony stood up so Steve wasn’t leaning down so much. “I love you,” Steve said again against his lips as he pulled away only slightly. “I love you so much and I promise I’ll do whatever I can to make you happy and never hurt you again.” 

Steve leaned forward to kiss him again, but Tony pulled away. “Wait.”

“I’m sorry, what’s wrong--?”

“If we do this again, I want to come clean too. I want you to know-- I want to tell you about this.” Tony placed a hand against his chest. “I didn’t mean for you to find out like you did last night. Obviously with Peter so upset and everything...I knew it would calm him down.” 

“How did he know?” Steve asked. He wanted to know more but was unsure of how to ask. 

“He woke up that morning and saw it. Bribed him with candy to not tell you. I’m sorry for making him keep a secret from you. It wasn’t my place.” 

Steve laughed and admitted, “Well, he didn’t really...he told me you had a star in your chest, but honestly, I had no idea what he meant.” 

Tony’s face burned red as he replied, “It glows and he likes stars, so he asked if it was and I said yes because maybe he’d think it was cool. He did think it was cool.” 

“What-- um, can I ask...what it really is?” Was that wrong to ask? Steve didn’t know.

“It’s a miniature arc reactor. Powers a lot for Stark Industries, but for me, it’s keeping a bunch of shrapnel from my chest.” 

Steve frowned. “Shrapnel?”

“I was kidnapped. The company used to be a weapons company. Changed my ways when I was tortured in a cave for three months.” Tony chuckled but Steve was too horrified to laugh with him. “There was an explosion and the doctors couldn’t get all of the shrapnel from my chest, so this reactor keeps it from going to my heart.” 

“Tony, oh, my God.” He held Tony’s hands in his so delicately. Tony had already been so hurt and Steve was just making it worse. “You were  _ kidnapped?”  _

“Yeah. It wasn’t fun...but the reactor is just a reminder of that and the scars around it. It’s not pretty. It’s ugly and I didn’t want you to see it and freak out or treat me any differently.” 

“Can I see it?” Steve asked softly. 

“What?”

“I saw it yesterday, but can I see it now...please?” 

Tony hesitated before nodding his head. “Yeah. Okay.” He hesitated again before slowly pulling his shirt off. Once his shirt was off, his eyes once again were anywhere but Steve. Steve stared down at his chest where the arc reactor was slightly glowing, although it wasn’t as intense as it was last night in the dark. He saw the white lines running from the reactor as light scarring. 

“I know it’s bad. That’s why I keep my shirt on all the time. I can continue to do that. I know you wouldn’t like to see this. I hate having to see it so I can’t expect you to--.” 

“It’s beautiful.” 

Tony furrowed his brow. “What?”

“It’s beautiful,” Steve repeated. “Can I?” He asked, lifting his hand towards it but only stopping an inch away. 

“Um, sure--.” 

Steve gave him a smile before lowering his hand and crouching down to press his lips against the center of his arc reactor. 

“Steve--.” 

“It’s beautiful.  _ You’re  _ beautiful.” He pressed one more kiss to the reactor before he stood up and kissed Tony’s cheek. “Thank you for sharing that with me.” 

“You don’t have to lie.” 

“I mean it. You are beautiful. Every scar and imperfection is perfect to me.” 

Rolling his eyes, Tony said, “Steve…” 

“I love you, Tony.” 

Tony leaned forward and rested his head on his shoulder. “I love you too, tesoro. So much.” 

Steve kissed the top of his head. “So, are we...are we okay?” 

“We’re okay. Of course. I’m sorry for overreacting.” 

Steve shook his head. “No, you should not be the one apologizing right now. I’m the one that should be saying sorry.” 

“How about we both just...promise to do better.” Tony gave him a small smile. 

Nodding his head, Steve said, “That sounds fair.” Then his smile turned into a smirk. “You know...Peter is still at school for another few hours.”

Tony’s eyes lit up. “Oh yeah?”

“You know what that means?” Steve drawled, watching Tony get more excited. 

“I think I do and I like where it’s headed.” 

“We finally have time to get ready for Santa.” Steve smiled. “We’ve gotta get gifts-- I’ve got a lot saved up from work. And we’ve got to wrap presents and hide them in a closet so Peter doesn’t find them.” He already had so many ideas for what he wanted to get Peter. Starting with a new pair of sneakers. 

Tony blinked. “Oh. Shop for Santa.” 

“Yeah,” Steve said. “We can do it together except for when you’ve got to shop in a different store so I can buy your gift. Absolutely  _ no _ peeking.” 

A more genuine smile grew on Tony’s face. “You know what? That sounds like a lot of fun. I would love to. On one condition.” 

“Hm?” 

“You have to buy as many presents as you want, but I’m paying.” 

“Tony,” Steve challenged. 

“Nope. Sorry. I want you to spoil your loved ones and I don’t want you to spend all the money you’ve been saving up. Let me help you.” Tony took his hands in his and smiled. And when Steve looked into his eyes and he didn’t need to worry about feeling like a charity to Tony because he didn’t see it in his eyes. 

“Okay. But for your present...I’m using my own money to buy you something. Please, can I do that?” Steve wanted to at least feel like he was contributing something. 

“That sounds fair.” Tony smiled. “I would love that.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

Steve grinned. “I’ll race you to the car.” 

“Race me to the--?” Before Tony could finish, Steve was already running back the way he came. “Steve!” Tony called, laughing loudly. 

“Gotta catch me, love!” Steve grinned as he ran into the awaiting elevator. 

“If you let those elevator doors shut without me inside, we can’t make out all the way up,” Tony sang as he followed, not as fast as Steve. 

Steve stuck his foot out to stop the doors from sliding shut. “Get in here.” 

Tony hurried up then and smiled as he pulled Steve in for a kiss. “Merry Christmas.” 

Smiling against his lips, Steve hummed. “A very merry Christmas to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a short hiatus in this fic. Two weeks maybe. I'm going out of the country for school so I won't be able to update. But I will set my doc to offline so I can write during the dozens of hours in planes and airports. I'll see you all when I get back and I hope you like this as a present to hold you over. 
> 
> The part where Tony tells steve to just tell him if he was using him was an evil idea from IronPengu
> 
> Only 2 chapters to go....


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry for the long hiatus. A lot of life things piled up and I couldn't touch this fic for a month. I missed it. But I'm back with an 11k update for all of you. Merry Christmas from your favorite family!

“Alright, Pete, now we gotta mix that other bowl in. The one with the…” Steve trailed off when he realized Peter was no longer standing on the chair next to him. He didn’t panic anymore like he used to when Peter was suddenly not in his sight. They were safe in the tower. He had no reason to worry. 

He glanced over his shoulder towards the other side of the kitchen where Tony was making dinner. Peter was standing on Tony’s foot, using it to try and give him some more height so he could see over the counter. Even then, he could just barely reach his hands to the counter. 

“I’m sorry, Peter,” he said in a louder voice. “Am I boring you over here?” 

Tony chuckled as he continued to pour sauce into the tray of pasta. Tony was in charge of making the dinner (Baked Ziti) while Peter and Steve were in charge of dessert (cookies, brownies, cupcakes-- basically whatever Peter wanted to make). 

“I’m checkin’!” Peter said, still struggling to see what Tony was doing. 

Steve raised an eyebrow over at him even though Peter's back was to him. “And you couldn’t wait for us to finish making the dough?” He was literally by his side only a moment ago. 

“He’s okay,” Tony said as he put down the bowl of sauce he was pouring in. Tony had been working on it all morning. When Steve had offered to run to the store and pick up a few jars of sauce, Tony laughed in his face before starting to make it from scratch. 

“He’s checked it three times already,” Steve said, rolling his eyes. 

Tony leaned down and lifted Peter under the arms so that he could see what he was doing. “He likes to be thorough,” Tony said to Steve before lowering his voice for Peter. “See, squirt, absolutely no chunks or green stuff.” 

Peter studied the sauce hard. Just like he had done three times already. When Tony first started making it and he let Peter taste it, he refused to even put it in his mouth when he saw all the spices and the tomato pieces. So Tony restarted it using spices and flavorings that Peter couldn’t see and made sure to puree the tomatoes enough that they weren’t chunks. 

“Thanks, Mr. Tony,” Peter said, kissing Tony’s cheek before kicking his legs to be let down. 

Tony smiled and lowered him carefully. Once he let him go, he ruffled his hair. “Now that you’ve ensured I’m not poisoning you with good Italian recipes, why don’t you finish helping Papa out? You’ve still got a lot to do.” 

Steve chuckled. That was an understatement. When Tony announced that they were hosting the Christmas Eve party and that they needed to go food shopping for it, he made the mistake of bringing Peter. Steve had come home from work to see the two of them were surrounded by bags of groceries, most of which were just baking ingredients because Peter wanted to bake every single dessert under the sun. 

“We’re making cookies,” Peter replied, bouncing on his feet. 

Steve cleared his throat. “We were until you left me.” 

Peter ran back over as he giggled. “Sorry, Papa!” 

“It’s alright, bud,” Steve said, ruffling his hair. “You ready to help me pour in these ingredients?”

“Uh huh!” Peter shouted, suddenly excited to help with the cookies again. He climbed back on the chair and began pouring everything in while Steve started to mix it all with his hands. 

Peter's focus only lasted a few minutes as he watched before he was climbing down the chair again. 

Steve kept his hands in the bowl but paused his mixing. "Where're you going now, bud?" 

"The tree needs to be lit up! And the train needs to be moving underneath!" The tree was another thing that Tony took Peter out to help get decorations for. Not only did Peter want it covered in ornaments, but he also wanted a train to be underneath it. It was a small model of the Polar Express that made a whistling sound and everything. Steve guessed that it was probably much too expensive to be considered a toy, but Tony never told Peter to stay away when he crawled over to the tree and started to play with it. 

Steve raised his eyebrows with a chuckle. "We can do that after we finish up in here."

Peter turned back around and Steve smiled at the dusting of flour that was covering him. At least the apron he was wearing could cover some of it. "The brownies?"

"Well, we can make those after--." 

"And cake!" Peter yelled, running over to the cabinet with all the boxes of cake and brownies mixes. 

"Tony, can you--." Before Steve could finish, Tony was catching Peter under the arms and lifting him up, against his chest. He didn't seem to care that he was now covered in flour too.

"Don't you want to help Papa finish the cookies?" 

Peter kicked his feet gently as Tony walked him back over. "We have so much to do! Our party has to be perfect!" 

"It's going to be," Tony reassured him as he stopped next to Steve. "But we've gotta take it one thing at a time." 

"Did you make the pasta?" Peter asked, looking over his shoulder. 

"Yup. It's in the oven and cooking."

Peter looked back to Steve and peered into the bowl. "We didn't finish cookies. We need brownies and cake and--." 

"I'll tell you what, Pete. How about for the party tonight we just make the cookies? Then we can save everything else for another night." 

Steve immediately agreed with Tony. They didn't have time for everything, especially if Peter now needed a bath to get the flour from his hair. "Yeah, Pete. We can make some for another night we're up. Maybe make some cupcakes to bring to our friends at the shelter?" 

Peter giggled. "Dum Dum loves chocolate!" 

Steve almost reached out and ruffled Peter's hair until he remembered his hand was covered in dough. "Then it's settled. We'll make chocolate cupcakes in a few days and bring them down to them." 

"We gotta make tons! A hundred!" Peter sounded 100% serious. 

"Okay, bud. Sounds good." He looked down in the bowl and saw the consistency was perfect to start rolling out some cookies. "Hey, babe, wanna cut out some cookies with us?" 

Tony leaned over and pecked his cheek. "There's nothing I'd rather do."

Of course, no kiss was ever complete without Peter's dramatic gagging. "Ew!" 

Steve rolled his eyes. "Just wait until you bring home a girlfriend or boyfriend. Every time you try to kiss them,  _ I'm  _ going to pretend to throw up." 

Peter scrunched his face up. "I'm not gonna date anyone. Never ever." 

"Never ever?" Steve asked with a small smile. If only Peter could always stay this young. 

"Kissing is gross. I don't want to." 

"Kissing is gross?" Steve pretended to look upset. "Does that mean my kisses gross you out?" 

"Not when you kiss me, Papa!" Peter said immediately. "I love your kisses!" 

"But you just said kissing is gross. Right, Tony?" 

"That's what I heard," Tony agreed. 

"Stop it." Peter pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Steve leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Okay, baby. I'm sorry. Only boyfriend kisses are gross." 

"You know, after we make these cookies, remind me to hang up the mistletoe. I wanna catch you underneath it tonight," Tony said in a low voice even though Peter was still right there and could easily hear him. 

Steve lowered his voice anyway too. "I don't need mistletoe to give you a kiss." 

Before Tony could continue the flirting, Peter slapped his hand over his mouth. "No more!" 

"Hey, Pete, you know what's an even easier way to stop him from talking?" 

"What?" 

Steve pulled away Peter's hand from his mouth and pressed his lips to his before Peter could push him away. 

"Papa no!"

Steve kept kissing him anyway. 

* * *

After they finished covering their sugar cookies in icing and sprinkles, Peter was even messier. Steve was just as covered, so he washed them both up quickly before getting into their party clothes. 

Peter had a sweater with Rudolph on it and his nose lit up when he pressed a button. Steve had an ugly sweater on too, but it didn't light up like Peter's. Tony was wearing a Christmas suit-- it was red and green and covered in little Santa hats and Christmas trees. 

Once he was dressed, Peter made sure that every single thing was in order for their party. The lights on the tree were on, they had the presents ready under the tree, and he had a basket of candy canes by the elevator. 

He sat there for almost a half hour just waiting for the first guest to arrive. Of course, Pepper was first. She thought that being on time was being late. She walked out of the elevator in a red dress and black heels. Steve never saw her in anything less than professionally dressed.

She stopped her long strides only a few steps out of the elevator when he noticed Peter right on the floor. He jumped to his feet, waving a candy cane in the air as she smiled down at him. 

"Well hello, little guy. Is that for me?" 

Peter nodded his head so fast, even his wet curls bounced a little on his head. "Yeah!" 

She took it with the hand she wasn't holding her present in. Steve walked over with Tony and smiled. "Sorry about him. He's excited." 

Pepper tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear as she laughed. "Don't apologize. It's adorable."

"It's his first Christmas party. He did most of the planning too," Steve said, still unable to believe that this was really how they were spending their Christmas Eve-- warm in a penthouse at a party with a billionaire. Steve was dating the billionaire. Steve was dating Tony Stark.

"You okay?" Tony asked softly, putting a hand on Steve's arm. 

Steve blinked his eyes, realizing he was just staring at him. "Yeah. Sorry. Just thinking." 

"Alright," Tony said, but he didn't look eager to drop it so easily. 

"Are we putting these under the tree?" Pepper asked, lifting her small gift bag. 

"Hey, Pete," Tony called over to Peter, who was back to sitting with his legs crossed in front of the door again. "Are we putting secret Santa gifts under the tree?" 

"Yeah!" Peter called back, his eyes on the elevator doors. "No peeking!"

"Don't worry," Pepper answered. "I won't let Tony peek." 

Tony tried to glance in the bag. "Oh, come on. Even if it's not mine?" 

Pepper raised her eyebrows. "Anthony." 

Tony immediately stopped. "Fine." 

Steve's lips quirked in a small grin. He walked past Tony and whispered in his ear, "Anthony, hm?" 

Tony grabbed his sleeve before he could keep walking. "Don't start anything you can't finish,  _ Steven."  _

Before Steve could promise anything, the elevator doors opened again. Rhodey stepped out of the elevator and Peter was back on his feet again, waving that candy cane.

"He's gonna do that to everyone, huh?" Pepper asked in amusement as she sat down on the couch.

"Yeah," Steve said. "Definitely."

Peter did sit there and deliver a candy cane to each person that walked in. Until the last two guests came: Natasha and Clint. He was too focused on the other guest at their feet. It was a golden lab, Clint's dog, Lucky.

He was at Clint's heels until Peter let out a loud squeal. "Puppy!" He ran towards Lucky and Steve immediately took a step forward. He didn't know how the dog would react to a kid suddenly charging him. But Lucky didn't react badly at all; he started licking Peter's face as he hugged him tightly. 

Clint and Natasha walked past them, both of them smiling. "So I guess we're not getting that candy cane now," Clint said. 

Steve kept his eyes on Lucky and Peter as they walked out of the elevator-- well Lucky trotted happily and Peter skipped to keep up next to him. "I'm sure if you ask nicely, he'll be distracted long enough to remember." 

"You're ruining his schedule," Tony teased. "He had this all planned. Step one was to deliver each candy cane. He's got two left." 

Natasha looked around the living room with wide eyes. "Wow, look at all this." 

"I let Peter pick out whatever he wanted in the store to decorate," Tony said. "He went a little crazy." 

Natasha's smile softened. "Maybe, but he deserves a little crazy." 

"Don't encourage him to spoil my child," Steve said with no real heat behind it. 

"Oh, come on," Happy said, watching Peter just like Steve was but more for amusement than to calm his worries. "Most kids are spoiled on Christmas. He deserves to be one of them." 

He did, without a doubt, but Steve didn't want him to get used to just having things handed to him. "Fine. He's spoiled only on Christmas." 

"His birthday too," Rhodey added. 

"Okay," Steve sighed. "Birthday too." 

"When's his birthday?" Nat asked curiously. 

"It's in the summer. August 10." 

"Oh, so we have plenty of time to plan." She turned to Tony. "Hey, Tones. Wanna rent out the cafe?" 

"Remind me to call Kennedy Space Center tomorrow. They probably book a few months in advance for birthday parties." 

Steve groaned, despite the smile on his face. "Please tell me you're joking." 

"Of course not." He turned to Rhodey. "Hey, Rhodey, can some of your Air Force buddies hook us up with a spaceship?" 

Rhodey blinked and only hesitated a moment before answering. "I mean, we're not really space, but for that kid I'll find one." 

Steve shook his head, glancing back over to Peter to watch him pet Lucky as the dog eagerly licked every inch of Peter he possibly could as he squirmed on the carpet. His loud giggles covered the soft Christmas music that was playing. 

"We're gonna get him to the moon, Steve," Tony said softly as he stood next to him. He wrapped his arms around one of Steve's and rested his head on his shoulder. "I promise you we are." 

It was impossible. Steve knew that. 

But, still, he didn't doubt Tony for a second.

* * *

Lucky and Peter played around the living room while the adults sat around and talked. They had a few drinks and were all laughing so hard they could barely breathe. 

Rhodey had just finished a story about Tony that had him blushing in embarrassment when Natasha said, "Oh, I've got one too." 

Tony abruptly stood up. "Okay, I've gotta go--." 

Steve grabbed Tony's sleeve and tugged him right back down so he landed on his lap. Maybe it was the buzz he had or maybe he just wanted to hold him close, but Steve tugged him so his back was pressed against his chest. 

"I'm not as light as Peter, you know," Tony said, shifting to get more comfortable. 

"Shh," Steve said, kissing his cheek. "I want you here." 

Tony didn't move. 

"If you two lovebirds are finished, I'd like to finish my story." 

Steve looked away from Tony to notice everyone was staring at them. His cheeks were already a little red from the drinking (he only knew because Tony had pointed it out, calling it adorable), but he felt them burning now. "Of course. Go ahead." 

"Thank you--." 

"Wait a second, why are we suddenly all exchanging embarrassing Tony Stark stories? I think it's someone else's turn." Tony looked over at Happy. "I know I've got a lot on you, big guy." 

Happy took another sip of his drink with one hand and flipped him off with the other. 

"It's not that bad," Natasha said. "Remember last summer when you were drinking at one of your galas? You got so drunk--." Natasha started to laugh between her story, unable to finish a sentence without gasping out another laugh. "You got so drunk," she tried again, "that you spilled your drink all over your shirt and insisted on getting changed."

Tony must have recognized the story because he suddenly went rigid in Steve's arms. "Do  _ not  _ finish that sentence, Romanoff." He didn't sound angry, but he did sound a little scared. 

"I took you to your room and you went into your closet and, and you--." Natasha went into another fit of laughter, holding her stomach as she tried to get her words out. 

"Oh, this has to be good," Steve said. 

Tony whirled to face him and quickly said, "No! It is  _ not  _ good." He whipped back to face Natasha, practically begging. "Nat, do  _ not  _ finish this story. Please." 

"I think I wanna hear it," Clint said, chuckling himself. 

Tony pointed a finger at him. "I will hide your hearing aids, birdbrain." 

"Tell them, Tony!" Natasha finally managed to get out. "Tell them what you pulled out of your closet to wear." 

"Thank you all for coming tonight," Tony said quickly. "Get home safe and Merry Christmas." 

"Oh, come on, Tony," Steve said. "Don't leave us hanging." 

Before Tony could try to deflect the conversation again, JARVIS did it for him. "I'm to remind you of Little Sir's schedule, sir. It is dinnertime." 

Tony shot up off of Steve's lap and he suddenly felt colder. "Dinner time! Sounds good!" He went over to Peter and scooped him up easily. "Come on, Pete. Let's go start serving dinner!" 

"Hey, no fair using Peter as a distraction!" Rhodey called after him as he disappeared in the kitchen.  

"All's fair in love and war!" Tony called back as they all started to stand up and make their way into the kitchen. 

Natasha grabbed his arm before he could catch up with the others. "I'll tell you later, but use your imagination. I'm sure you'll figure it out." She winked at him once before walking into the kitchen. 

Steve furrowed his brow as he followed them all into the kitchen. He sat down between Tony and Natasha and glanced over at Tony. He let his imagination run wild with what he could have pulled out of the closet and Steve liked every scenario he thought of.

Tony's eyes flickered over to him and he tapped his cheek twice. "Stop staring at me and eat before your food gets cold." 

Steve turned away from Tony, caught staring again, and looked down to where Peter was usually sitting right next to him. He blinked and adjusted his eye level so they were on Natasha's face. 

Steve quickly looked around the table, searching for Peter. He found him a few seconds later, sitting on the other side of Pepper. She was tucking a napkin into his shirt so that he didn't spill any sauce on his sweater. 

"I can switch seats with you, Pepper," Steve offered. He hoped she would agree. He  _ always _ sat next Peter during dinner time. They were never this far apart.

"What's the matter?" Natasha asked. "Do I smell?" 

"No," Steve said, turning to look at her. "I know Peter's a messy eater and I didn't want her to have to take care of him the entire meal."

"I'll be good, Papa!" Peter said, giving him a smile. 

Steve knew he would be good. Peter was capable of eating without Steve right there. Steve was the one having trouble. "I know, sweetie."

"I'll wipe the sauce off his chin between bites, love, don't you worry." Tony took Steve's hand and squeezed it once. 

Peter was already back to kneeling on his booster seat, trying to eye all of the food on the table. He didn't even realize that Steve wasn’t sitting next to him-- or, he did, but it didn't bother him. That was a good thing though. That was healthy. At least one of them was getting better. 

Steve settled back in his seat. Tony reached forward and scooped some food to put on Steve's plate for him. Steve mumbled a thanks. He didn't know why Peter not sitting next to him had dampened his mood so quickly. It even killed the good feeling buzz he had. 

Tony leaned in close and took Steve's chin in his hand. "Hey, if you smile, I'll give you a little more to Nat's story later." 

Steve looked up with sudden interest. "You'll tell me what you were wearing?" 

Tony paused and repeated, "I'll give you a little more to the story. Not all." 

Steve thought about it and really, even if it was a little he could get a better idea. And maybe he'd even slip and tell him all of it. 

"Ah ha! There's my smile." 

Steve rolled his eyes, not even realizing he had been smiling. "Fine. But just...keep an eye on him."

"He's right here. You can see him the entire time, Steve. Promise. You don't have a thing to worry about."

Steve kept an eye on him anyway throughout the dinner. Just in case. Even when his attention was on someone else, the corner of his eyes were always on Peter. 

When he noticed Peter tugging on Tony's sleeve after he had another round of food, Steve wanted to jump out of his chair and run over to see what was wrong. 

But Tony immediately diverted his attention from the conversation at the table to lean down and speak softly to Peter. Steve couldn't hear them over the laughter at the table now, but he hoped Peter was okay. 

Then Tony was nodding his head and...cutting up the food on Peter's plate. Steve relaxed as he realized that's all that was wrong. Peter needed help cutting his food and Tony was more than happy to help. 

Once he was all finished, Peter smiled up widely at him and thanked him. Tony pressed a kiss to the top of his head before turning back to his own food. After a few seconds of Steve still staring, Tony turned to look at him. "Can I help you?" He asked with an amused smile on his face. 

"I love you," was all Steve could think to say. 

"I love you too." Tony's smile softened as he grabbed Steve's hand again. This time, he didn't let it go for the rest of the meal.

* * *

Later after dinner and dessert was over, they were all crowded in the living room. Everyone was holding a mug of hot chocolate, except for Peter. His tiny mug was in Tony's hand and every so often he would crawl over and take a sip before going back to petting Lucky. 

On his next hot coco break, Steve brushed his fingers through Peter's soft curls. "Hey, little buddy, now that it's getting late, is it time to exchange presents yet?" 

Peter's eyes brightened. "Oh, yeah!" He started bouncing on his knees. "Presents now?" 

Tony laughed. "Up to you, little boss." 

He pushed himself up to his feet with a huge smile and pointed to Steve first and then went down the couch and pointed to each of them. "Eenie meenie miny moe. Catch an effy by the toe, if he hollers let him go. My papa says to pick the very best one and you are it!" He landed on Happy with a giggle. 

"Does that mean I'm going first?" He asked with a smile. Peter nodded his head and Happy stood up and walked over to the tree where all the presents were under. He lifted up a bag carefully and turned around. 

"The first gift of Christmas!" Peter exclaimed loudly, throwing his hands in the air. 

Steve laughed and said, "He watched The Polar Express again last night."

"Well, the first gift goes to…" Happy trailed off, handing the bag to Pepper. Nat took the mug from her hands before she took the bag and smiled up at Happy. 

She unwrapped it carefully and pulled out a small potted plant. Her grin widened as she looked up at Happy. "Thank you, Happy!" 

He shrugged his shoulders. "You always talk about wanting to have your own garden and I figured in New York City, a houseplant is a good place to start." 

Pepper admired the plant with a laugh. "I agree. And I love it. Thank you." She put it back in her bag and Happy sat down again. "So, does that mean it's my turn to give a gift now?" 

Peter nodded his head, getting more excited. 

Pepper stood up and picked up a wrapped box with a decorative bow. If that gift were going to Steve, he wouldn't want to even ruin the wrapping. Instead, she carried it over to Nat.

Nat sat up straightened in her seat with a smile. "Oh good. I was afraid one of the boys was going to give me something." She took the box and used the same care Steve would have when pulling off the wrapping. She opened the box and pulled out a few small packages that Steve had never seen before. 

Tony, on the other hand, recognized them right away. "Finding another spa day buddy?" 

"As much as I love doing facials with you, Tony, I need some girl time. When we can gossip about my boss." 

"I am your boss." 

"Exactly." She winked.

Once Natasha was finished looking through her box, she grinned to Tony. "Don't get too upset, Tones. I'm sure Steve would love to give you a facial for Christmas." 

Steve choked on the hot chocolate he was drinking, expecting anything  _ but that  _ to come out of her mouth. Tony was just as shocked. "Natasha!" 

Her grin didn't falter as she stood up and put the box by her feet. She walked over to the tree, picked up a present, and then walked back over to Tony without saying a word. 

Tony just stared at her. 

"Go on. Open up. It goes with the theme." 

"Of spa days?" 

Natasha hesitated. "Yeah. Sure." 

Tony slowly began to open the gift and Steve leaned in closer, interestedly. Tony unwrapped it and hesitantly pulled the lid off of the shoe box. He had it open for a second before he realized what was inside. He slammed the lid back on with a sputtered gasp and Steve started laughing.

"Was that-- was that a vib--?" 

Tony jerked away from Steve, pulling the box close to his chest. His panicked eyes looked at Steve and he only laughed harder. 

"What is it?" Rhodey asked, looking just as curious as the rest of them. 

Natasha opened her mouth, but Tony beat her to it. "Peter is  _ right  _ here."

She laughed and said, "I'll give you a hint. I fit as much as I could from the back of Spencer's in that box." 

The rest of them joined in on the laughter and Tony's face just turned redder. Steve enjoyed seeing Tony as the flustered one for once. "Are you gonna be this nervous when we pull this box out later?" 

Clint let out a whistle and Rhodey threw his head back, howling in laughter. "Oh, man," Happy said, "Tony, you better keep that somewhere close." 

"You do not get to make those jokes," Tony whispered, looking at him. 

"And why not?" Steve asked innocently. 

"Because you know what it does to me." 

Steve leaned forward and pressed his lips to Tony's. He murmured against them after a short kiss, "Which is exactly why I make them, love."

"Strawberry fl… flavor," Steve heard Peter reading from his seat on the floor. "I love strawberry! Can I try your candy too, Mr. Tony?" 

"My candy?" Tony asked, pulling away from Steve. They both looked down and saw the small bottle in his hand. 

Steve reacted first, quickly grabbing it from Peter's hand when he realized what it was. "Peter, that's  _ not  _ candy!" Steve shoved the lube in his pocket as everyone laughed even harder. 

Peter frowned, making grabbing hands for Steve. "Hey! I wanted that!" 

"No," Steve repeated, his own laughter gone so that Peter knew he was serious. But even Steve found the situation a little humorous. 

Peter pouted, but it didn't last long before Lucky was licking his face. Peter started giggling, completely distracted from Tony's present must have fallen when he quickly covered it. 

"And here I thought Tony was dating a sweet little Catholic boy," Happy managed to get out between his laughter. 

"Catholic I am, prude I am not," Steve answered, causing the man to double over in more laughter. 

Tony was hiding his face in his hands, but Steve could still see how the tips of his ears burned. 

Steve turned back to the others. "He's so easy to rile up."

"Nope," Natasha answered. "He never got this embarrassed about this stuff with anyone else. Only when it involves  _ you _ does he get all flustered." 

Steve knew Tony had a...past, but somehow, knowing that he didn't react the same around the others made him feel better. 

"If it were anyone else, they would not be sitting here with us on Christmas Eve," Rhodey said. "This is serious in Tony's book." 

"Peter," Tony said suddenly. "Isn't it time for the next gift? Can I give out mine?" He was already on his feet before Peter could get out from underneath Lucky and answer him. He grabbed the small box from under the tree and tossed it over to Clint. "You encourage this behavior anymore and I'll take it back." 

Clint caught it with a laugh. "Oh, come on. I'm actually being the behaved one right now. Your boyfriend is the one starting the trouble." 

Steve raised his eyebrows at him. "I am not the only one to blame. She's the one that got him those gifts!" 

"Right under the bus, Steve?" Nastasha asked, shaking her head. "I'll remember that the next time you ask for a day off." 

"Excuse me! Attention on me please!" Clint yelled out as he unwrapped his gift. But once he saw what was inside the small box, all amusement disappeared from his face. He looked up at Tony with wide eyes. "Tony…" 

Tony sniffed once, straightening his suit jacket. "You like 'em?" 

"This is too much-- this is way over the budget limit." Clint was staring down at whatever was in the box with awe in his eyes. 

"It wasn't," Tony reassured him with a wave of his hand. "I had a few extra parts lying around the lab and I figured I could make something with it."

Like a switch was flipped, Clint hurriedly began to take off the hearing aids he was wearing and replace them with new ones that he took out of the box. 

"Steve told me yours have been acting up lately and I figured you'd appreciate a new pair. Great volume control and sound pick up on those. If anything feels wrong, I can easily fix it," Tony added quickly. 

"No," Clint answered, looking at him again with a smile. "These are perfect really." He looked down at where Lucky was laying by his feet. "Holy shit, I can hear him panting." 

Tony smiled and Steve grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers. He had the absolute sweetest boyfriend in the world. He was so rich and so smart and he didn't have to share any of it with anyone else, but he did. He shared as much as he could.

"Thank you, Tony. Thank you so much." Clint huffed a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. "Now my gift looks pretty shitty in comparison."

"Stop that," Steve said without even thinking. "It's the thought that counts. We're all just lucky to be able to give each other all these gifts tonight." Nobody in the room but Tony and Natasha understood the weight behind those words, but they still rang true. 

Clint stood up and pulled a large box from the tree and walked over to him. "Keep that in mind when you open it up." 

Steve took the box with one hand, keeping the other in Tony's hold. "I'm sure I'm going to love it, Clint." 

"Clint and I went shopping together," Nastasha said. "Whatever I couldn't fit is in your box." 

"I swear--." Tony started. 

"She's joking," Clint said, sitting back down.

It took a little longer to unwrap the present with only one hand, but he didn't let go of Tony's. Peter was watching Steve closely, resting his chin right on Tony's knees. "Hey, bear," Steve said. "Wanna help me unwrap this?" 

Peter didn't need to be asked twice before he scrambled over and tore at the wrapping paper. Once he got to a white box, he pulled off the lid and peered inside. His big brown eyes went wide. "Ooooh!" 

Steve leaned forward and looked in the box. Inside, were different art tools. There was a canvas, and paints (water color, acrylic, oil), pencils, and even charcoal. "Clint, you didn't have to…"  

"Maybe now you can stop doodling on all the napkins at work," he teased. 

"Maybe," Steve said, even though he doubted it. He was always itching to draw. Especially during the slow hours at the cafe when all he could think about was clocking out and going home to Tony and Peter. 

"Your turn now, Papa!" Peter said, pulling the box off of his lap. Steve rushed forward to grab it before he dropped it right on his toes. "Come on!" He grabbed Steve's hand once it was free and started tugging him up off the couch. 

Steve laughed as he stood up and walked towards the tree. He squatted down, feeling his knees ache in the process. He picked up the small envelope he had and felt kinda bad considering that everyone else had boxes to open. 

Walking back to Rhodey, he nervously handed over the envelope. He'd spent days stressing over what to get Rhodey. He knew a few things about him, but not as much as Tony did. He was already on thin ice with him after the whole "Captain" thing and Steve didn't want to make it worse. He was Tony's best friend. Steve had to get along with him.

Rhodey took the envelope from him and Steve turned around quickly before he could see his reaction when he opened it. He was still standing when he heard Rhodey let out a small gasp. He opened it. He opened it and he hated it. "Steve, is this…?" 

Steve whirled around to face him again instead of taking his seat next to Tony. He wished he did just so he had Tony's hand to hold. He'd never been so nervous in his life and he got on stage a few nights a week and stripped for strangers. "I didn't want to overstep or anything, but Tony mentioned that your mom was feeling too sick to travel this year. It's just a bus ticket, but I figured, after the holidays, you could take a few days and go visit her." 

Rhodey's expression didn't change and Steve only grew more nervous. He thought he'd like that. When trying to figure out what he'd want most, Steve thought about his own ma and how if she were still alive, there was nothing more he'd want than to see her. Even if it meant riding on a smelly bus for a few hours just to get there. 

Tony loved the idea and offered to finance it; maybe even upgrade it to a plane ticket, but Steve refused. He was making good money at both of his jobs, especially with tips during the holiday season. A few weeks ago, he wouldn't have been able to afford the ticket, but now he could. He bought it happily, knowing that it was going for a good cause. 

Steve stood there, just waiting for Rhodey to tell him he hated it. His eyes widened as he watched Rhodey stand up and take a step towards him. Was he going to punch him? Did he hate it that much? 

Instead, Rhodey raised both arms and wrapped them around Steve. He pulled him into a tight hug and his military strength was definitely showing. Steve waited only a moment before returning the hug, though not as firmly as Rhodey. 

"Thank you so much, Steve," Rhodey whispered in a thick voice. It sounded like he was fighting tears. 

"No problem, Colonel," Steve replied, patting his back. 

Rhodey squeezed him another few seconds before he cleared his throat and pulled away. "I'm gonna call her tomorrow and let her know. Maybe I'll make it for New Years." He rubbed at his eyes as he turned to the tree. "Well, now my gift definitely isn't enough." 

"Only Happy and Peter are left," Natasha said. "They both have the same IQ, so whatever entertains a four-year-old is perfect. And that's just about everything." 

"Joke's on you," Happy said smugly. "I'd be  _ honored  _ to have the same IQ as that kid." 

And well, Steve had to agree with him. 

"Let's hope you're right," Rhodey said as he retrieved his bag and crouched by Peter. He handed it to him with a smile. "This is for you, kiddo." 

Peter was already bouncing up and down as he grabbed the present. He didn't wait a moment before tearing into the tissue paper, throwing it over his shoulders. He pulled out two wrapped presents and looked over the moon to have more to unwrap. He unwrapped the smaller box first and a box of crayons fell into his lap. 

"Papa, I can be an artist just like you!" He held the box up high. 

Steve smiled and nodded his head. "You sure can, bud. Maybe we can draw together tomorrow." 

He turned back to the other gift and unwrapped three coloring books. Peter looked at them all with excitement. "This one is about space! And this one is about animals!" He gasped, flipping through the pages until he stopped on the one he must have been looking for. "Look!" His voice got high in excitement as he stabbed the page with his finger. "It's a baby effy with his Papa effy!" 

"And that last one is all pictures from Peter Pan. Have you seen that movie?" Rhodey asked, still kneeling in front of Peter. 

Peter shook his head wildly, his eyes focused on Rhodey now. 

"It's a great movie-- and book too. It's about Neverland and pirates and fairies and mermaids." 

Peter gasped loudly as if that was the coolest thing he'd ever heard. "Woah!"

"Do you like them, Pete?" Rhodey asked, looking more relaxed now that Peter was obviously happy. 

Peter jumped up and threw himself into Rhodey's arms, almost knocking him over in the process. "Thank you so much, Mr. Rhodey!" 

Rhodey engulfed him in a hug. "You're very welcome, squirt." 

Peter pulled away a few seconds later, still buzzing with excitement. "That means it's my turn!"

Rhodey let him go and stood up. "Sure is. Go crazy." 

"Please don't encourage him to get any crazier," Steve joked. "He'll be climbing up the walls." 

Peter ignored them and pulled the last present from under the tree. This one was small enough to fit in the palm of Peter's hand and was obviously wrapped by him without any help. He ran over to Happy and shoved it into his hands. He then grabbed Happy's knees and began jumping up and down. "Open it! Open it!" 

Chuckling, Happy began to unwrap the paper. "Right away, boss." He finished quickly and pulled a small keychain from the mess. Steve smiled, happy to see how excited Peter still was about it. 

"Look! It's a keychain with a smiley face!" Peter explained as if Happy couldn't see it. "He's happy just like you're Happy! And you can put it on your keys because you drive so much!" 

"Kiddo, I love it so much," Happy said genuinely as he pulled Peter up under the arms and sat him on his lap. Peter flopped onto him and hugged him as Happy rubbed his back. "I got the best present out of  _ everyone."  _

"You'd change your mind if you saw Tony's box," Steve said. 

"Oh, no," Tony said immediately. "We are not bringing that up again." He paused before correcting himself. "Not until later. In private. After Peter is asleep." 

"No candy after bedtime, Mr. Tony!" Peter shouted. 

"Yeah, Tones," Rhodey repeated. "No  _ candy _ after bedtime." 

"Happy, would you please cover Peter's eyes?" Tony waited for Happy to do so before he turned back to Rhodey and flipped him off. 

"Merry Christmas to you too, Tony." 

Through their teasing, Clint must have snuck off to the kitchen. He came back with a mouthful of something and two cookies in his hand. "Who brought the peanut butter cookies?" 

Nobody spoke up until Natasha sat up straighter, clearing her throat. "Peanut butter cookies...uh, can I see those, Clint?" 

Clint held out his hand to her and she started laughing the moment she saw what was in his hands. "I made those," Natasha said, covering her mouth through more laughter. 

Clint eyed her. "Why're you laughin'?" He asked around a mouthful of cookie. 

"No reason." 

Clint hesitated but then shrugged his shoulders and threw another cookie in his mouth. 

Peter bounced on Happy's lap. "Can I have some, Mr. Clint?" 

"'Course, kid," Clint said, walking over to them. He extended his hand, but just as Peter was about to reach over with his little fingers, Natasha leaned forward and shouted, "No!" 

Peter yanked his hand back quickly and looked over at her with wide eyes. "Sorry!" 

"Not you, baby," she said, her laughter dying down. "It's Clint. He's eating dog biscuits. I didn't want you to eat that too." 

Clint choked on the last mouthful and repeated,  _ "Dog food?"  _

"Those treats are for Lucky. Didn't you get a hint when you saw the shape of the biscuits? They're dog bones." 

Clint paused and looked down at the last biscuit in his hand and stared at it. "Oh. That makes sense." He shrugged his shoulders and popped it in his mouth. 

When they all gave him looks of disgusts he frowned. "What? They're still good."

Steve looked over at Peter, who was giggling like crazy on Happy's lap. "Hey, bud, whatever Clint does, you do the opposite." 

"The only parenting anyone ever needs," Natasha agreed, shaking her head.

* * *

Not too long after they finished unwrapping the presents, they all started to slowly trickle out, saying goodnight and a Merry Christmas. 

Peter was still sitting on the couch, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he tried to stay awake. He was close to falling asleep but wasn't there yet. 

Tony smiled at them once they were alone and said, "Who wants to exchange our own presents and then read a story before bedtime?" 

"We gotta stay 'wake!" Peter squealed. "I wanna see Santa!" 

Steve laughed and shook his head. "Santa doesn't come unless everyone is asleep." 

Peter stuck his lower lip out in a pout. "Okaaaay." 

Tony took Steve's hand and led him over to the tree and sat down on the ground by the last six presents. "Come sit, Petey," Tony said, patting the ground next to them. 

Peter hurried off of the couch and sat down by them. He was still bouncing excitedly. "Who goes first?" 

"How about you give us your gifts first, bud," Steve said, ruffling his hair. Peter had taken Peter out to get Tony's present when he was at a meeting one day. Peter had been so excited to give it to Tony, but now Steve could see he was getting nervous. 

He crawled over to the tree and pulled out a horribly wrapped present that was too big to be Tony's, so it had to be Steve's. He plopped it in Steve's lap and smiled. 

"Oh, this is for me?" He asked with a smile, starting to unwrap it. Peter nodded his head excitedly and watched him with intent eyes. He pulled off the paper and saw a black sketchbook. He dragged his fingertips over the cover gently. It looked like his old ones. The ones he lost.

"They're just like the ones you had! You can make new pictures!" 

Steve wrapped an arm around Peter and pulled him in close. He pressed a kiss to the top of his head and squeezed him tightly. "Thank you so much, baby bear." 

"You like that?" 

"I  _ love  _ it." 

Peter kissed his cheek once before he turned around and went back to the tree. He pulled out the smaller present, also horribly wrapped and handed it over to Tony quickly. 

"Oh, for me. You shouldn't have." 

Peter sat back and began to suck on his thumb nervously. 

Tony unwrapped the gift, unaware of Peter's anxious thumb sucking. He opened up the small box and pulled out the mug. He went for the sunglasses inside the mug and put them on his face. The frames were shaped like stars and they were nowhere near as good as his sunglasses, but Peter saw them and  _ had  _ to buy them for him.

"Look at these! I've got stars!" 

Peter giggled. "Now you can wear them too!"

Tony kept them on his face as he ruffled Peter's hair. "I can't wait, squirt." Then he looked down to the coffee mug. Peter had picked this one out shyly and Steve had immediately loved it. He knew Tony would too. 

He lifted the mug up to read the side out loud. "Number one...Dad." He looked over at Peter and then to Steve with wide eyes. 

"I have my Papa...and-- and my Mom-- but I never had a Dad. And...you make a good Dad. The best Dad…" He trailed off, looking down at his lap. 

Tony placed the mug down carefully and immediately scooped Peter up in his arms and held him tightly against his chest. He pressed a half dozen kisses to the top of his head. "I love it, Peter. I love it so much." 

Hearing that he loved it, Peter relaxed in his hold. He nuzzled his head against Tony's chest and didn't move until Tony let him go. Steve noticed him looking away and rubbing at his eyes so Steve got Peter's attention. "Think it's time for my gifts?"

Peter settled on Tony's lap, leaning against his chest and nodded his head. Steve watched as Tony’s eyes widened for a second before his lips quirked in a small smile and he kissed the top of Peter’s head. 

Steve smiled at them before crawling over to the tree and pulling out his presents for his boys. Peter made grabby hands first so Steve laughed and put his present in his lap. Peter ripped into the immediately and when he saw the shoebox inside, he gasped. He looked back up at Steve with wide eyes and when he spoke, his voice was high pitched in excitement. "Papa! These are the shoes!" 

Steve nodded his head, watching Peter pull them out of the box and already shove them on his feet. He was wearing extra thick fluffy socks but he still managed to squeeze them on. 

"Look!" Peter shouted as he stomped them on the ground, causing the stars decorating the sides to light up. 

"Those are ever cooler than I imagined," Steve said. He felt a lump growing in his throat just from watching Peter be happy about getting new shoes. 

"Mr. Tony, look!" Peter leaned back against his chest as he lifted his feet up in the air. "No holes!"

Steve should have felt ashamed. He should have felt embarrassed that his son was excited about having shoes with no holes. But he only felt relieved. And when Tony gave him a smile, his own eyes watery too, Steve was glad that he didn't have to hide this side of his life from Tony anymore. He could celebrate the little things with them-- like no holes in their shoes and a bed to sleep on. 

"You like 'em, Pete?" Steve asked, even though he already knew the answer. 

"Yeah! I'm  _ never  _ gonna take them off." He started stomping them again and giggling at how they lit up. 

"We'll have to peel them off when he falls asleep," Tony stage whispered. 

"No!" Peter shouted, grabbing his shoes as if that would stop them from getting them off. 

"You can keep them on until bedtime, how does that sound?" Steve asked. Peter nodded his head happily and settled against Tony's chest again. Steve smiled before going back over to the tree and pulling out the present he had for Tony. 

He handed it over and Tony held it but didn't start unwrapping. "Hey, squirt, wanna help me with this?" 

Of course, Peter was more than happy to help and started ripping off the paper. Steve watched Tony's reaction closely as the wrapping paper disappeared and the canvas underneath was exposed.  

Peter held it up for Tony to see better and Tony's eyes widened as his mouth fell open slightly. "Is that me?" 

Steve nodded his head once. "Yeah. It's you and your bots in the lab." 

Tony laughed. "Look at that: me, DUM-E, U, and Butterfingers." He turned to face Steve with a furrowed brow. "Is that what you've been sketching in the lab?" 

Steve had used old white paper he found in Tony's lab to sketch out his idea and then saved up enough after Rhodey's bus ticket to buy a canvas. He didn't have enough for paints or anything, but Tony had some sharpies around the lab that he used to copy the sketch to the canvas. 

"I know it's not much…" 

"No, it's perfect. I love it." Tony gave him such a genuine smile, Steve felt butterflies in his stomach. "I'll hang it up in the lab tomorrow. The bots will love it too." 

"I want to go to the lab!" Peter said, bouncing in Tony's lab. 

"Well, you're just in luck, squirt. Because you and Papa now have your own spot down there." 

Steve blinked his eyes and sputtered, "What?" 

"For Christmas I made you a spot in the lab. So while you're down there watching me, you can do some art of your own. And I moved Peter's effy chair down there too so if we're both down there he can sit with us." 

"But the lab…" The lab was his. Pepper had told him that nobody was allowed in the lab when Tony worked. The fact that he let Steve down there so much really meant something, but making a spot just for Steve? That was crazy. "The lab is yours."

"The lab is ours." 

Steve leaned forward before he said another word and kissed Tony's lips softly. They kissed for a few seconds while Peter whined underneath them. 

Tony laughed before their lips were even apart and Steve smiled, wanting to chase him after he pulled his lips away. "Would it make you feel better if I gave you your gift now?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Peter clapped his hands together but didn't move from Tony's lap. 

"You mind bringing that big box over here, babe?" Tony asked, gesturing to the tree. 

Steve pulled over the box that was even larger than Peter. He pushed it close enough to Peter so he could lean forward and unwrap it excitedly. It took him only a few seconds to open it even though it was huge and when he saw the box he jumped up and down on Tony's lap. "Is this a box for my spaceship?" 

Tony laughed, pulling some paper away. "It's a box, but it's got something inside. See that?" He pointed to the side of the box. 

Steve moved over so he could see what they saw and he was surprised to see a picture of a telescope. "Tony, is this really a telescope?" 

"Sure is. We can set it up on the balcony later. Maybe when it gets warmer." 

"Right now?" 

"When it's warmer," Tony repeated. 

Peter leaned closer, practically pressing his face to the box. "Can I see the stars with this for real?" 

"You can see the stars and the craters on the moon. We can even fix it up to see even further if you want." 

"Woah," Peter breathed, hugging the box and leaning his head against it. "I can't wait to use it and see the stars." 

Steve ran his hands through Peter's hair, rubbing his scalp gently. "Getting sleepy, bud?" 

"Nu-uh," he said, even though his eyes were closed. 

"It sounds like you are," Tony said. "I've got a good idea. Papa will get you changed into your pjs and I'll meet you in your room, okay?" 

"Another surprise?" 

"Yup." Tony lifted him up and handed him over to Steve. Steve cradled him against his chest and Peter was sitting up wiggling. 

"Wait, Papa! Cookies for Santa!"

"Oh, right," Steve said, standing up with Tony and walking to the kitchen. "How could we forget?"

They walked together, Tony taking Steve's hand in his and they put three cookies on a plate for Santa with some carrots for the reindeer. Tony poured a glass of cold milk and they carried it all back to the living room. 

"You and Peter go to his room and I'll meet you there in a few minutes." Tony pressed a kiss to his cheek and then Peter's before going back to the kitchen. 

Steve carried Peter back up the stairs as Peter stared down at the living room. "Santa's gonna be here soon." 

"He sure is. Which is why you've gotta get some sleep. Santa doesn't come to little boys who are still awake." Steve rubbed his back as they walked down the hall into the room that Tony set up just for Peter. In the last few days since he found out that they had no real home, Tony had people working on it 24/7 to recreate it to be personalized just for him. He had the walls painted in different blues and purples and blacks speckled in white to look like the galaxy. His bed was covered in NASA bedsheets and pillows. He didn't add much more because he wanted to have Peter decorate it as well.

They'd been trying to get Peter to sleep in his own bed and some nights he was so tired that he crashed and didn't move until the next morning. Some nights he crawled out and found his way back to Tony and Steve's room. 

Once Steve set him down on his bed, Peter kicked his feet against the bed. "But I'm too excited to sleep, Papa!" 

Steve grabbed his new pajamas from his drawer and walked back over to the bed. They were Rudolph feetie pajamas that had a good to give him antlers. The moment Tony saw them in the store, he had to buy them for Peter and Steve wasn't going to complain. 

"Well, you better get un-excited so you can fall asleep," Steve teased as he began to pull off Peter's party clothes. 

"I can't!" Peter groaned dramatically, helping Steve as he undressed him. Once it was time for his pajamas, he stood up on the mattress to make it easier for Steve. 

Steve held out the pajamas for Peter to step into while he said, "Then I guess Santa is gonna skip us this year." 

"Why is Santa skipping us?" Tony asked from behind them. 

Steve finished zipping up Peter's pajamas and turned around to face him. "Peter says he's too excited to sleep." 

"Don't worry," Tony said as he walked in. "I know what can help with this." He sat on the bed with a sippy cup and a book in his hand. He handed the cup to Peter and said, "Lay down, bubs." 

Peter curled into his pillow and Steve moved to lay down next to him. Peter got comfy in the nook of his arm as he began to sip on the drink. 

"Please tell me that's not anything sugary," Steve joked because of course, Tony wouldn't give him that this late on Christmas Eve. 

"It's steamed milk. It'll put him out like a light. Also smells delicious." 

Steve watched as Peter sucked on the cup greedily. "He likes it." 

"Of course he does. My thousand dollar espresso machine steams it perfectly each time." Tony settled next to them on the other side of Peter.

Steve smiled and asked softly, "Got a book for us too?" 

It was an old looking book with a ripped cover jacket and yellowed pages. Tony held it like it was a newborn child. "It was my mom's. She used to read it to me every Christmas Eve night."

"You want to share this with us?" Steve asked hesitantly. 

"Of course," Tony answered without that same hesitation. "You're my family too." 

"I want to kiss you again," Steve said, staring over at him.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Tony asked with a smirk. 

"No!" Peter squealed, using one hand to shove Steve's face away. The other hand was still tight on his cup. "Stop kissing!" 

"Okay, okay," Tony said. "Later." Then he turned back to the book in his hands and started to read in a quiet voice. "'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring not even a mouse." 

Steve let his eyes drift shut as he listened to Tony's gentle voice read the story. Peter's breathing slowly began to even out as Tony flipped through the pages.

Steve didn't have warm milk to drink, but Tony's voice was just as soothing. He felt himself drifting off to sleep and by the time Tony was finished reading, he was almost there. 

But then someone was shaking him gently. "Hey, Steve…" 

"Hmm," Steve hummed, turning his head into Peter's curls. Peter nestled into his arms too. 

"You gotta get up. Santa's gonna be here soon." 

Shit. Santa. He had to get up and make sure that Santa came. He blinked his eyes open, wishing he could just lay in bed and hold Peter. But being woken up to leave dozens of presents under the tree for his son was enough to fight the exhaustion. 

He sat up, careful to lay Peter down gently so he wouldn't wake up. He took the cup off the bed and looked over at Tony who was watching him fondly. 

Running his hand through Steve's hair, Tony teased, "You feeling sleepy too, baby?"

"Not anymore," he whispered, getting off the bed. He was careful not to shake Peter too much.

Tony took his hand and led him out of the room. Steve shut the door behind them softly. Tony turned his head over his shoulder and grinned. "Time to go, Santa."

* * *

When Tony and Steve finished putting all of Peter's gifts under the tree, Steve couldn't help but feel guilty. 

Peter didn't need the 50 something gifts that Tony and him had both spoiled him with. He wholeheartedly deserved every single one, but when Steve saw it, all he could think about were the people not lucky enough to have a billionaire rescue them off the streets. 

Wanda was still taking strangers to bed just to feed her babies. Amora was being treated like nothing but a piece of meat by every person that came into that club-- especially Rumlow. Sam and all of the other veterans were stuck in that shelter, lucky if they had something hot to eat. 

Steve looked out the large windows on the wall that looked down on the city below them. He wondered how many people were on the streets tonight. How many parents were struggling to feed their children. How many kids didn't even have hopes of Santa visiting them.

A set of arms wrapped around him and he felt Tony press a kiss to his shoulder blade before resting his cheek against his back. "Why're you so quiet?" 

"Just thinking." 

Tony paused as if he were waiting for Steve to elaborate. "Penny for your thoughts?" 

Steve held Tony's hands where they were wrapped around his stomach. "I appreciate everything you've done for me and Peter. Especially Peter. But...I just can't help but think about all the others that aren't as lucky as we are." 

"Stark Industries donated thousands of toys to nearby shelters as well as food. If you want, we can maybe set up something-- a foundation to raise money for the homeless." 

Steve smiled at the thought of that. "There's nothing I'd like to do more. If I could, I'd dedicate the rest of my life to helping others not as lucky as me. Even without all this money, I've got Peter and I've got you and I've got so many friends. Not everyone is as lucky as me, y'know?" 

"Who says you can't do that?" 

"Tony, three Christmas presents wiped me out. I still owe you for all of these." He turned around and wrapped his arms around Tony too. Because of their height difference, he had to look down at him to keep eye contact. "I don't have anything to give that would make a difference." 

"First, you're not giving me anything for these gifts. And, I'm Tony Stark. Stark Industries can help you out with that other stuff. We had that new funding that Obie has been bugging me to figure out. I can give it to you. You can start something up to raise money." 

The idea sounded too good to be true. "Tony, that's your business. You shouldn't give up money to fund my hobby."

"You're raising money for those in need. That's an honorable thing to do with your life." Tony leaned up to press a kiss to Steve's lips and Steve could have leaned down to meet him halfway but he liked to see Tony go on his tippy toes for him. "And I want to help you any way that I can." 

"Thank you," Steve whispered, pulling him in closer. 

"You know how you can thank me?" Tony asked, wiggling his eyebrows. 

Steve huffed out a surprised laugh. "I have a feeling I know how to thank you." He swooped Tony under the legs and lifted him in his arms easily. 

Tony let out a small gasp as he held on tight to him. When he realized Steve was carrying him back to their room, he let out a laugh. "Don't you want to grab Nat's present?" 

"Oh, we won't be needing any of those tonight." Steve lowered his voice. "You'll be long gone from just the touch of my hands." 

Tony bit his lip as he tried to stifle a moan. "You better walk a little faster." 

"Shh," Steve said as they passed by Peter's door. What if Peter hears us through the walls." 

"Put on some jingle bells. He'll think it's Santa leaving his presents," Tony answered, his pupils blown wide. 

"I can promise you that the noises you're going to make will not be noises that we can pass off as Santa. We've gotta save some of his innocence." Steve winked down at him, loving the way Tony was already losing his mind and they were just getting into the bedroom. 

"You're killing me, Steve," Tony said, lifting himself up to kiss Steve's lips again. "Absolutely killing me." 

Steve shut the door behind them with his foot and dropped Tony carefully onto the bed. "I haven't even started yet." He pulled off his sweater and hesitated when he went to take off his t-shirt too. 

Tony was staring at him, chest heaving in anticipation. 

Steve looked up to the ceiling. "Uh, JARVIS?" 

_ "Yes, Captain?"  _

"You can check out of here for the rest of the night. Keep an eye on Peter. Me and Tony are gonna have our hands full."

* * *

Steve woke up to someone sitting on him, jumping up and down. Each time they jumped on him, his head went up and then smacking down on whoever's chest he was laying on. 

"Papa! Papa! Wake up! We have to see if Santa came!" 

Steve groaned as he blinked open his eyes. He saw the familiar glow of Tony's chest and he smiled. "Oh, Santa came, alright."

"I wanna see! I wanna see!" Peter's voice was hitting octaves high enough for only dogs to hear. 

"Alright, alright, Pete…" Steve looked up from where he was curled on Tony's chest. Tony still had his arms wrapped around him. "Hey, Tony," Steve said softly. 

"I'll wake him, Papa!" Then Peter was jumping on Tony and shaking him awake. 

Tony woke up to the screaming that followed.  "I'm up! Jesus-- I'm awake!" He was staring up at Peter with wide eyes. 

"Santa!" Peter screamed again, pulling on the blankets. 

Even though they both put at least a pair of boxers back on before passing out last night, didn't mean Steve felt decent enough for Peter to rip their covers off. "Bud-- hold on. It's cold." 

Peter jumped off of the bed with a small "oof" and then picked up Steve's sweater off the floor. He threw it onto the bed. "Get dressed! Come on!" 

Steve took the sweater but didn't pull it on. He laughed as he watched Peter bouncing impatiently. "Pete, we're going. Your presents aren't going anywhere." 

"I have to see if he ate the cookies! I made them for him! And if he gave his reindeer the carrots!" Peter exclaimed. 

Steve knew the plate was empty. That was the first thing he did when he got to the living room. He saved the carrots for Tony, who ate them less begrudgingly than he thought he would. "I'm sure they ate it all, bear." 

"I don't wanna wait any longer!" 

"How about you go get Elliot and by the time you come back, we'll be ready to go." 

Peter nodded his head quickly. "Okay. Only three minutes!" Then he was running out of the room. 

Once Steve heard his feet disappear down the hall, he pulled the blanket off of them and sat up. Tony groaned and turned on his side to curl up in on himself. 

"Wakey wakey," Steve said, slapping him on the ass. 

"Do we have time for round three?" Tony mumbled, not moving from his spot. 

"Did you hear Peter? We have three minutes until he gets back here." 

"Oh," Tony said, rolling on his back to look up at Steve. "So we have time for a round three and four." 

Steve rolled his eyes with a chuckle. "Maybe after presents. Come on, get up." He leaned down and pressed his lips to Tony before lifting his head and lowering it again, this time kissing the reactor on his chest. 

"You're such a sap," Tony said, his cheeks blushing slightly. 

"You make me like this." Steve sat back up before he lost the temptation to lay back down with Tony. Part of him wanted to tell JARVIS to distract Peter for just a few minutes, but he left their door wide open and Peter could only be distracted by an AI for so long. 

"Fine. I'll get up and dressed  _ if  _ I can sit on your lap while we watch Peter open his Christmas presents." 

Steve rolled his eyes and acted like that was an inconvenience when it was really the opposite. "Deal. Now come on, before Peter sees us in our boxers and asks too many questions." 

* * *

Peter went crazy on the presents. He ripped them all open but gave each and every present a few minutes of hugging and screaming about. He appreciated every single one, no matter how big or small. Even the boxes were getting him excited. When he made a comment about donating the bigger boxes to the people they found on the streets, Steve felt that familiar guilt creeping in on him. 

Sure, Tony promised that they could put something together, but Steve wanted to do something now.

Steve grew quiet again, but watching Peter's excitement kept a smile on his face. Selfishly, he was glad that Peter could have a good Christmas even if there were others that couldn't. 

Once he had every present unwrapped and he was surrounded by his new toys and books, Peter laid down in a pile of wrapping paper.

Steve chuckled and asked, "You okay, bud?" 

"Yeah," Peter answered. "I'm just really happy." 

Steve had to swallow past the lump in his throat before he could speak. He pulled Tony a little closer to his chest from where he was curled sideways on his lap. "So am I, bud." 

"This would be a really good ending for my book, Papa. Our journey is over and we're happy." 

That had Steve thinking. He had almost forgotten about Peter's book. "Hey, Tony." 

"Hmm," he hummed as he took a sip from his coffee mug, still resting his cheek against Steve's shoulder. 

"Do you know any good publishers?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this, all we have is an epilogue.... thanks for getting me this far. 
> 
> Some notes on this chapter, steamed milk is the absolute best. Whenever I make a latte at work, I steam the milk and that smell is literally the best smell in the entire world.   
> Steve may be really cocky with his big talk but when he got to that bedroom, he was super nervous. He's only been with one person, years ago, and he knows that Tony's got experience and he just wants to he perfect for hin. He already is but he doesnt realize that.   
> It took ironpengu and I years to pick secret Santa gifts so I hope you appreciate them all. 
> 
> Please let us know what you think!


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here it is, folks. The epilogue...thank you so much for sticking with me to the end. Enjoy this last chapter and please read the end note for some things before you go!

_ Three weeks later  _

 

"You know I can always stop all of this. I'm Tony Stark. I literally put together the entire night. I can just go in there and announce it," Tony whispered to Steve as they rode in the cab of one of his limos. 

Steve shook his head and wiped his palms on his thighs. "No, it's fine. It's just a lot, you know? After we do this, the entire world knows." 

"You don't have to. We can call that part off. We can just raise money." Tony was soft and patient with him, just as he'd been through this entire process. 

"No. I need to do this. I don't want to hide. I'm not ashamed." 

"I know you're not," Tony said quickly. "But doing this, with my name, it will put your name out there too. There's no coming back." 

Steve gave him a small smile and grabbed his hand. "My name's going to be out there eventually if I'm dating you. At least, now I'm choosing how I'm known." More than just Tony Stark's boyfriend. 

"I'm sorry," Tony apologized, his eyes growing a little somber. 

"You don't have to apologize for being you. I knew what I was getting myself into when I found out who you were." Steve didn't care about anything else as long as Tony was his. 

"You say that now. Just wait until they're down your throat for a picture." 

"Maybe it'll take some pressure off of you then. And when they see my face, of course, they'll want me on the front cover," Steve teased. 

Tony leaned over and held Steve's cheeks with his hand. "Especially with this clean shave you have." He used his thumb to caress Steve's cheek softly. 

"You like it?" Steve asked unsurely. This had been the first time that Tony saw him without his facial hair. Tony said that a clean shave would look better for the gala. His hair was still long, but he kept it gelled nicely. Tony said he had a great barber if Steve wanted to give it a try, but he hadn't decided yet.

Steve knew that he was representing Stark Industries tonight, but he still felt weird. He wasn't this kind of person. 

"I love it," Tony said with a genuine smile. 

"I like it too," Peter said, bouncing on the seat in front of them. The limo seats were facing each other and while Steve and Tony sat with their arms touching, Peter was across from them in his booster seat. "No more scratchy kisses." 

"Tony can still give you scratchy kisses." 

"No. His are nice and soft."

Tony laughed next to him and Steve smiled. "Really? Why are his soft and mine aren't?" 

"I have an intense regime for daily facial hair care. If you tried it while you still looked like a lumberjack then maybe he would have enjoyed your fluffy face." 

"His kisses were too scratchy," Peter repeated, scrunching up his nose. 

"Very," Tony agreed with Peter before turning to Steve and reassuring him, "You look good. The clothes too." 

Steve looked down at the button down shirt he was wearing. He'd had this one since the beginning of this mess as his one 'good shirt'. Tony had bought him many nicer clothes, but Steve didn't want to show up in something too fancy. He'd originally wanted to keep the facial hair and just wear his normal clothes on the street, but Tony made a comment about all of the press that would be there and he didn't want to embarrass Tony. 

Peter was wearing jeans and his star shirt because that's what he thought was nice and Steve didn't want to fight him on it. 

"Are you sure you're okay with us being connected to Stark Industries? With everything we've been through…" 

Tony looked offended that he'd even ask that. "Of course, I'm sure. I'm not ashamed of you. I never will be." Tony leaned over and gave him another kiss. 

Despite how genuine that sounded now, Steve wondered how long it would last.

* * *

"You're sure you're okay sitting with him?" Steve asked as Peter climbed up the chair. He had a hand behind him just in case he fell off. 

"Of course, we are!" Sam said from one side of Peter. Timothy was sitting on his other side. "We have to thank you some way for inviting us to this." 

"No thanks necessary. It's for you guys, so why shouldn't you get the party too?" Steve smiled, shrugging his shoulders. Tony had invited tons of celebrity guests and rich socialites, but Steve wanted to invite the friends that Steve made along the way too. Why shouldn't they take advantage of free food and a warm place to be for a few hours? 

When Tonymentioned the idea of a gala to announce their new project, Steve asked if he could invite some friends and Tony told him he could invite 100 if he wanted. There was more than enough room and food. Steve put together dozens of invitations for people in shelters and on the street that got a sandwich from their church. Many refused to go, but a good amount were happy to go. 

Steve had noticed a lot of kids running around in ratty clothes and worn out shoes. Peter spent almost an hour running around and playing with them until Natasha pulled him over to eat dinner. 

"I still can't believe you put all this together," Timothy marveled, looking around the large room. It was filled with dozens of tables and over a hundred guests. Tony was walking around and mingling with the richer guests while Steve was with the homeless that he invited. He sent out a lot of invitations through shelters and churches. 

"It was all Tony. I just put some other stuff together." 

"This is you," Sam said firmly. "This is all you. Don't let anyone take this away from you." 

Steve blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I just want to give back to those that aren't as lucky as we are." 

"You gonna find all of us a sugar daddy?" Timothy joked, causing the table of other homeless veterans to erupt in laughter. 

Steve knew he was teasing, but he knew there were people out there that legitimately would think that Steve was only with Tony for his money. He hoped Tony never believed those rumors when they eventually started. 

"What's a sugar daddy?" Peter asked, always so innocently even when the conversation was anything but innocent. 

"Stop teaching my son bad words," Steve said. "And don't answer that. I've gotta get on stage." 

"Can I come with you?" Peter asked, distracted already. He was kneeling on the chair, facing Steve as he held onto the backrest. 

"No, bud. I don't want you up there just yet. There's a lot of people watching and I think it might be too much. But you've got a front row seat with this table. So you'll always be able to see me." Steve wanted to ruffle his hair, but Tony gelled all his curls down before they left. 

"Why can't I help you?" Peter asked in a small voice. 

"You have helped me!" Steve said immediately. "You're the one that wrote the book! I just don't want you up there in front of everyone yet."

"Later can I go up with you?" 

Steve hesitated. He didn't want Peter anywhere near a camera, but he knew between dating Tony Stark and doing this, he really didn't have much of a choice. "Later."

Peter smiled wide and gave him a thumbs-up. "Good luck, Papa!" 

"Thank you, bud. I'm going to need it."

"You're gonna be fine," Sam said. "Remember how you pitched the idea to ne? Just like that."

Steve took a deep breath and nodded his head. "Okay...yeah, I'll be fine." 

"Of course, you will be. And we'll be right here, cheering you on the entire time. So will Tony when he stops talking you up to all the guests and sits down." He gestured behind him where the other tables were full of guests. 

Steve glanced around the room and caught sight of him as he was going from one table to another. "Speaking of, I'm gonna go see him before I go on." 

"You go, Romeo. I've got your little shadow." "Thank you." Steve smiled at him and then turned his attention to Peter. "Be a good boy for them, Pete." 

"Okay, Papa!" 

Steve leaned down and kissed his cheek before hurrying off to catch Tony. He had to be on stage in less than five minutes, but he wanted to talk to Tony before. He needed to see him. 

"Hey," Tony said, catching his eyes as he walked over. "I was just about to go looking for you." 

"I'm about to go up there," Steve replied.

"And you're gonna do great. They're going to love the idea and it's gonna go perfectly." Tony grabbed both of Steve's hands and squeezed them. 

"I dunno…" 

"Well, I do. I don't care what anyone else thinks. Not even Obie. This is a great thing to do and I'm proud of you." He leaned forward and kissed Steve's lips. "You go up there and you kick ass." 

Steve huffed out a small laugh. "I'll try my best." 

I'll be right in the front at the table with Peter. We're all cheering you on." 

"Thank you, Tony." 

"Not a problem, my love. Now get on up there. You've got an audience to woo." 

"The only one in the audience I want to woo is right here," Steve whispered with a smirk.

"You can woo him later. As a celebration. But for now, he has to share you with them." Tony gave him another kiss before letting go of his hands. Steve turned around to walk to the stage and felt a slap on his butt when he did so. He rolled his eyes but didn't turn around. If he did, he'd probably never leave Tony's arms. 

He was walking up the steps to the stage when a familiar voice stopped him. "You haven't been this nervous since your first time on stage."

Steve whirled around to follow where that voice was coming from. Amora was leaning against the wall with a perfectly arched eyebrow raised. She was in a dress much more appropriate than the ones she wore at the club but just as green. Her long blonde hair was curled and flowed down her shoulders and back. 

"Amora, you made it!" He said, a smile on his face again.

"'Course I did." She walked over to him and looked him up and down. "Good thing I did. You look like you're about to pass out." 

Steve ran a hand through his hair nervously and noted that it was getting long enough to need a trim soon. "I'm going to make a complete fool of myself up there." 

"And we both thought you'd make a complete fool of yourself when you stripped on stage for the first time, but that went well."

"Yeah, but-- wait, you thought I was going to make a fool of myself? I thought you have confidence in me."

She laughed and shook her head. "I just had to fake the confidence so you believed it. Which is what I'm going to do now." 

Steve groaned leaning against the wall. "This is great. Just great!" 

"Don't stress so much. If you can shake your booty for those customers, you can make your speech about helping the homeless." She patted his shoulder and her voice sounded genuine.

"What if I mess up? I'm gonna embarrass Tony." 

"You're not going to mess up and he won't be embarassed-- by the way, you're totally introducing me to him before this night is over. I gotta see you and your sugar daddy together." 

Steve rolled his eyes. "He will be embarrassed if I make a fool of myself up there. I'm using Stark Industries to get started. I'm directly connected to him." 

"A new foundation created to help the homeless...yeah, that's real bad rep for Stark." Amora rolled her eyes sarcastically. "You'll be fine. I just wanted to wish you luck before going on stage. Tradition." 

Steve chuckled. "At least I get to keep my clothes on while I'm up there." 

"Please keep your clothes on. We don't need to scar your son." 

"He's seen me in my underwear before," Steve said dismissively. "The places we've been living didn't really offer much privacy. Tony's the one I'll have to worry about if I go up there and strip to my flag booty shorts." 

"Wearing that thong underneath?" 

Steve felt his cheeks burn red. "It's not a thong. And no, I don't bring it home from work." 

"You should bring it home with you when you quit. Stark will appreciate it." Amora shrugged her shoulders, glancing away from Steve. 

Steve knew he couldn't stay at the club, but he didn't want to leave Amora. "Just because I'm leaving doesn't mean I'm saying goodbye to you. I hope you'd still like to be my friend."

Amora looked at him again and he could see her trying to fight some sadness in her eyes. "Bring him to the club for a date night."

"Definitely," Steve said in a voice that sounded like he actually meant never. Which was exactly what he meant. 

"Alright, I'm counting you to that. Now go up there. Remember, never keep the audience waiting."

Steve grinned. "Thanks."

"For?" 

"Helping me relax before I went up there. You're always good at that." 

"Yeah, I know." She smiled over at him before starting to walk back toward the tables. 

Steve watched her go, confident as always. Then Pepper was by his side, grabbing his hand. "Come on, you're up." 

Steve walked up the stairs behind her and she stopped just on the side where they wouldn't be seen yet. "Wait here until I announce you."

He nodded and she walked on the stage, smiling at the audience as the lights shined on her. He wished he could have the confidence of her and Amora. 

She went up on that stage and started to introduce Steve and even though he couldn't hear her over the sound of his heart beating in his ears, he knew she already had the audience enraptured. 

He wiped his sweaty palms on his thighs and when she finally looked over at him expectantly, he took one last deep breath and walked out on stage. He waited until Pepper waved goodbye and walked off stage before he spoke. 

"First, I just have to thank Stark Industries for giving me a chance and putting all of this together. I couldn't have done this without them. Especially Tony and Miss Potts." He paused and already, people were cheering. 

Peter was sitting right there, clapping wildly and Steve couldn't see past that first row of tables, but he didn't need to. 

"I'm sure you're all wondering what surprise Stark Industries has for you and what expansion they've got going on. Well, after a few weeks of hard work, I'm proud to announce the plans we have. It's a foundation to aid the homeless in the city. Your donations will help us raise money to provide food, clothes, toiletries, and other necessities for those not able to buy it for themselves." 

He felt himself calm down as he walked around the stage, keeping his eyes on the table with his friends. Tony was giving him a thumbs-up up, Sam was smiling at him, and Peter was waving.

"What makes this so different from all of the other charities raising money for the homeless? We're going to be selling a book, written by my son, about our own story of homelessness." He heard the room go quiet and he knew he definitely had the entire room's attention now. 

"We lost our apartment almost three months ago. If it were just me, maybe I wouldn't have been so worried, but I had a four-year-old son to worry about." 

Some of the crowd gasped and let out sympathetic "aw"s. Peter was still smiling widely, not understanding the gravity of the topic even though he was the one that lived through it. 

"I tried to make it fun for him and not let him realize just how bad things were. We made an adventure of it and his imagination made it into a story that he wrote down. He calls it The Knight and The King." He paused and chuckled. "Real original, I know." 

The crowd laughed with him. 

"Some crazy things happened along the way and Peter made sure to write it all down, with his own twist. If you want to know how we went from sleeping on the streets to sleeping in a penthouse, well, you'll have to read Peter's story. Illustrated by me." 

The crowd let out another collection of "aw"s. 

"All profit from the sales will go directly into our foundation, Peter's Stars, and that money will be used to get people off the streets. With your help, it's possible." 

Peter clapped his little hands together when Steve said the name of their foundation. He loved the idea when Steve mentioned it and Steve knew immediately that it was perfect.

"The desserts you're eating tonight were catered by Fury's Cafe. They're already helping by having employed a half dozen homeless veterans from a local shelter." 

Steve clapped his own hands to get the audience to follow. Natasha deserved a round of applause for getting all of that together. The fee veterans that got the job were happy to get a source of income and not just donations. Maybe they could get on their feet soon and start a life again.

"It's things like that that can really make a difference in these people's lives. Peter's Stars is going to change the world, I know it. All we need is your support to get it done. Thank you." 

He stood up there still as the crowd erupted into applause. His words didn't make the most eloquent of speeches, but it was enough. And that's all he needed. 

After he waved goodbye and started to walk off the stage, Peppermet him halfway. "That was perfect! Not a lot but enough to get them hooked. We'll host a few book readings and signings and Q&A's where they can learn more. This is the start of something revolutionary." 

Steve smiled, feeling giddy from the reaction the audience gave him. This was really happening. He was actually going to make a difference. He got off the stage and Peter and Tony were there waiting for him. He walked over in a hurried oqce and wrapped his arms around them. Peter giggled as he was squished between the two of them because Tony was holding him. "You were amazing up there, babe. Just like I knew you would be." 

Steve smiled at him, wishing the three of them could get out of there. "I just kept looking at you two." 

"It worked. I've already got people lining up to sponsor Peter's Stars. It's a hit and the book isn't even out yet. You're going to fly off the shelves." 

"It helps that we have Stark Industries promoting us." 

"Stark Industries is honored to," Tony said before Steve leaned forward and pressed their lips together. He'd never get tired of kissing this man. Never. 

Peter tugged on Steve's shirt and he begrudgingly pulled away. His reluctance dissipated when he saw Peter grinning up at him. "We're helping so many people, Papa!" 

Steve pulled Peter from Tony's arms and held him against his chest. "All of this is only the start, bud." He wrapped an arm around Tony and pulled him flush against his side. "The three of us have a whole 'nother journey ahead of us." 

Peter kicked his legs excitedly as he held on tightly to Steve's shirt. "I can't wait, Papa!" 

"Neither can I, bear." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's a wrap on this! I can't believe it's over...almost a year and 175k+ words and it's over. To think it only started out as a little one shot. 
> 
> I never imagined it to take off like this. Despite not having as many kudos as a few of my other fics, I still believe this to be my most popular. Every update, I had so many reviews and I always looked forward to seeing what you guys had to say! I wouldn't have been so excited to keep going forward if it weren't for all of you so thank you! 
> 
> I owe another big thanks to IronPengu who is the reason I fell in love with Steve & Peter and who helped me time and time again with this between editing, ideas, and motivation. 
> 
> Now that this is over, I bet a lot of you are wondering a few things. Maybe you feel like some of the story is left untold or you some plot points weren't brought up in this fic. Well, that's because we've got a surprise for you. One that we've been sitting on for months. 
> 
> Peter's Stars is getting a sequel!
> 
> It hasn't been fully planned yet, so it will be a few months, but it will be written! So if there's something you'd like to see please let us know below and maybe we can add it. 
> 
> Until then, IronPengu will be writing and posting a fic of her own set in this universe. It's some of this fic in Tony's POV and then a little more to connect this fic to the sequel. 
> 
> I'm so excited for you all to see what we have planned, but now, it's time to say goodbye on this one. Please let me know what you thought one last time. Since this is the last chapter, I will be repsonding to every single comment. So leave any questions you might have and I'll answer them (unless they're spoilers) and please let me know how you liked this fic. She's my baby and I hope you enjoyed reading her as much as I enjoyed writing her. 
> 
> Until next time,


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